Fanfic Reviews – Assorted Edition · 11:27pm Jun 20th, 2015
Looks like it has been 1 month since I last posted anything... What can I say? I went to play The Witcher 3, which is such a fantastic game that it managed to restore my fate in the industry – and it also absorbed me completely. Also, adapting to the first few weeks of a new job can be hard, specially when you have a bunch of carryover from before. On the plus size, I have a proper commute again, so expect some non-readings reviews soon. Gonna also try to keep some kind of schedule with these from now on. Below you will find:
Pros and Cons
The Old Gray Mare
Crying on the Inside
Changeling
The Regular
The Parable of the Dead Lizards
Union
A Change in Three Parts
As always, the fics are rated on a 0~10 scale, with below 3 being where I actively dislike a fic, and above 8 being where I can say I actually like it.
Steel Resolve – Pros and Cons (Reading by Dr. Wolf) – Slice of Life
Discord asks for advice while considering Tirek's offer from the S4 finale.
This is a good example of SoL not being complete fluff. The idea here is an AU where Discord, instead of instantly accepting Tirek's offer, decides to consult Fluttershy first. Curiously, Discord is portrayed here as somewhat ingenuous, while Fluttershy is pretty conniving, but I think it works in context. As a view on what could have been, it is certainly interesting, and the writing is simple and unobtrusive. Discord's characterization is also lots of fun, and there is a good pacing to the whole thing. A little too inconsequential for my tastes, but it is a fun read.
Why it should be read: For a nice "What If" scenario.
Stand out moment: I was particularly amused by the repetition of "basket of puppies".
6/10
Thornwing – The Old Gray Mare (Reading by Goombasa) – Character Study
Mayor Mare reflects on her new role in life
I love it when something on my RIL gets a good reading. What we have here is a very trope-savvy fic, playing with reader expectations of where the story should go. Then, instead of completely subverting those, it builds on them to reach a natural, yet surprising and logical conclusion. And that is good, because, on a surface level, the plot of this story is extremely light. In fact, it is essentially a generic framework on which to hang some character work.
Luckily, Thornwing shows a great grasp on what would make a character like Mayor Mare tick. From her regrets to the appreciation she receives from the townsfolk, she feels like a complete, even realistic pony. Coupled with some great scenes from other characters, it makes for a pretty hefty read, which still manages to flow very well.
Sadly, it is held back by the more predictable aspects of the plot, as well as some contrivance on how Mayor Mare views Ponyville vs. how the town views her. In particular, I never quite bought that she wasn't aware of the effect of what she had done. I know that it is supposed to show her being moved by what people thought of what she did, but some of the things that the townsfolk bring up as positives seem to surprise her way more than I would expect. Not that it detracts too much from what really works here, but it bothered me enough to be noteworthy.
Why it should be read: For a great view on a secondary character of the show.
Stand out moment: I love the irony of the Mayor receiving the Key to the City.
8/10
Arwhale – Crying on the Inside (Reading by Dr. Wolf) – Character Study
That's true.
Here we have a post-episode fic, one that tries to explore what best pony meant by her yes to "Applejack cries on the inside". And while it does a fine job at that, showing well a vision of what she could mean by that, it just felt too over dramatic to me. That is a common grievance I have with Applejack fics: her being defined by her parents deaths. Yes, losing your parents is a terribly traumatic event, but establishing the whole of her emotional response to any situation as just a function of that feels terribly reductionist and, ultimately, uninteresting. In particular, I point out to the following passage:
And I guess that’s how it’ll feel for you and Tank, when Spring is finally here. Sure, he’s gonna wake up, but that still don’t mean saying “see you later” doesn’t hurt, anyway.
Even if “goodbye” still hurts more.
I know your goodbye isn’t the same as mine was. After all, not many ponies have ever had goodbyes like mine. And that’s alright.
I’m happy for you. I know you’re sad right now, and that the others are sad, too… but I’m happy. I’m happy that Tank will wake up. I’m happy you’ll get to see him again.
I’m happy that, at least for you, Spring is right around the corner.
This really felt cruel and unjustified. It turns something about how Applejack doesn't feel the need to externalize her emotions, into her being indifferent to other's suffering, because hers is "more". Not only that reads as very overdramatic, but it also puts Applejack as terribly selfish. Thing is, empathy isn't about "who suffers more than me" or "what is the suffering about". No, it is about relating to pain in someone else's terms, recognizing that no matter the origin, the feeling is real. This type of behavior, in which pain is only measured by your own experiences, is terribly narcissistic, and doesn't mesh well with Applejack's characterization, on the fic or anywhere else. It ended the fic on a really sour note for me.
In the end, this is a mishmash of great ideas, and some appalling ones, but overall, the effect is nice. I know this is one of those cases where I am bothered by stuff that most people will just gloss over, but I really felt strongly about this.
Why it should be read: To expand on that great scene.
Stand out moment: I like how well it meshes the show scenes with AJ's inner thoughts.
6/10
CCC – Changeling (Reading by Scribbler) – Comedy
Twilight discovers tells Celestia that one of her friends is a changeling, but is in for a surprise...
This fic reminds me a lot of the incredible Changelings, Changelings, Everywhere. However, instead of going into that particular absolutely ridiculous direction, it is very subtle in its absurdity. Much of that is thanks to the different focus, revolving around Twilight slowly discovering the truth about her world, rather than having everyone be part of the secret.
I particularly love how every time you think the author went as far as possible with the idea, he takes it in yet another unexpected direction, without ever needing terrible leaps of logic, or to be particularly absurd. In fact, it is a great example of the proper usage of misdirection and proper build up. Everything works towards the final punchline, making for a very solid, properly written random fic.
Why it should be read: This is short and funny.
Stand out moment: The ending is pure gold.
9/10
Ruirik – The Regular (Reading by ChAoTiCsEvEn) – Slice of Life/Sad
Joe gets his first regular customer.
I was planning to review this fic, but really, Present Perfect wrote just about everything I wanted to say.
Instead, I will focus on how it relates to The Descendant's A Cup of Joe. In fact, other than both being high quality fics, they only have in common a few canon elements surrounding Joe. While TD's fic is about moving on from tragedy, this one is about accepting it happening with a certain degree of detachment. As much as the Regular fascinates Joe, and how much he affects Joe, the fact is that in many ways he is "just another one".
From that, you get a much less melancholic outlook, but much more important, you get a sense of his growth from his reaction, not only to the final event, but also to the whole idea of being a shop owner. It is a fairly understated, even reflexive piece, about the bit players of our own lives. In that, the ending fits the story perfectly. Twilight Sparkle, who has enormous importance to the show's world, enters his life, yet another "just a regular" who has a whole other story that doesn't affect his directly. It was a clever way to finish the story, and makes you think of his reaction to other things in his life. Really, go read it, this one is great.
Why it should be read: For a smart take on Joe.
Stand out moment: The overall progression of the story was fascinating, how you can feel that Joe is growing more accustomed to his position.
9/10
Violet CLM – The Parable of the Dead Lizards (Reading by Neighrator Pony) – Tragedy
One day, dead lizards start appearing around Ponyville, each branded with a ponies' cutie mark.
This is a very smart story, the kind of thing you would expect to see as part of a realist novel. It is a concept that fits perfectly its short format, long enough to make the most of it, but also not forcing itself to go longer and exhaust the idea. It is propped up by some great writing, fantastic characterizations, and lots of little touches, like the subtle ways in which the lizards affect the town's inhabitants.
But more than anything, this is a story focused around a message, and in this instance, it is one that I can actually enjoy. It has a general area it tries to push the reader towards, but isn't preachy about it, and is able to say much with what it doesn't address. Even more important, all of its points arise in function of the main story, rather than the other way around. A fic to be admired for sure.
Why it should be read: For a smart fic with very well explored themes.
Stand out moment: The ending was absolutely perfect.
9.5/10
Present Perfect – My Fullsized Goddess Horse (Reading by Illya Leonov) – Comedy
A poor brony in a terrible, despicable world finds his only ray of sunshine in an adorable grown alicorn.
I avoided this one for a long time, expecting it to be either too stupid, or too mean spirited. Luckily, it is none of these things, instead working well as a half-troll fic, half-fandom parody, and full-on meta comedy. In fact, it had me from the moment it said Celestia came to the human world to get a cheeseburger. Sure, it is one of those fics for which you must be in the right mindset, but given the right conditions, this is a blast.
Why it should be read: To laugh at fimfiction as a whole, and MLD in particular.
Stand out moment: Everything about the unreliable narrator was fantastic.
8/10
John B – Union (Reading by The Living Couch / Scribbler) – Dark
Twilight Sparkle is so very happy in her new relationship.
This is a properly executed thriller, particularly because I came into it blind, and was even expecting it to be a romance. Right from the start, it felt very creepy in a coy manner, thanks to their relationship feeling like something externally imposed. Normally this would be a very strong point against a fic, but not to give much away, that is the whole point. It even feels like meta commentary in a sense, but in a way that can be appreciated independently.
However, it reads too much like a story fragment. Not that it doesn't tell a complete story, but the revelation comes very late in the fic, and the implications aren't properly explored, like why nobody would address the inconsistencies on Twilight's actions. Also, while that doesn't come up in reading, the fic itself is pretty rough around the edges, with some weird passages and some smaller writing issues. Still, a really solid story.
Why it should be read: For the creepy idea, and the overall concept.
Stand out moment: The atmosphere here was excellent.
7/10
GaPJaxie – A Change in Three Parts (Reading by Alicorn Priest) – Slice of Life
A transhumanist argument walks into Ponyville.
I shouldn't have read this fic. Despite loving most of his stuff, I try to avoid Jaxie's transhumanist fics because I know I will hate them. Still, I saw lots of folks talking about this one, so I gave it a try. Plus, it had a reading, and I had housework to do. Sadly, I pretty much got what I expected. It is just a serial knockdown of strawmen, in what amounts more to a blog than a proper story. And it ends with a pretty standard "they lived happily ever after" ending that feels like the story screaming "see, that was right all along!"
Not to turn this into a "bash transhumanism" review, but in a nutshell I find the ideology profoundly troubling, since it always felt like "religion for atheists" to me. Much of that is thanks to a vaguely magical view of technology, and a skewed view of modern society. And this is precisely what I got here.
Two Stray thoughts:
1-) The fic implies that changelings have always been the ultimate life form. I'm surprisingly okay with that.
2-) Why keep alternating between wings and horns and earth ponyness? I'd imagine the transformation would consume way more energy than simply having all three things going on simultaneously.
Why it should be read: If you do enjoy this type of discussion.
Stand out moment: I do like Pinkie's argument. It felt the most believable of all of them.
3/10
Hey, these sure look familiar. :V (Except for Union, I haven't gotten to that one yet.)
Thanks for the review. :D I'm actually gladder that you liked The Regular. I think a lot of people really missed the importance of Twilight showing up at the end.
3166956 Actually, you seem to have commented on Union, before Scribbler even posted her reading.
3167072
Saywhaaa?
Holy shit, I reviewed it. o.O (Oh, it was from MDGC the first!) Guess I don't need to listen to that reading then!
Thanks for the review! I really love reading people's feedback, even better when it's constructive.
That . . . is almost exactly what happened with me and this fic. And it pretty much worked out as I expected.
D'aww thanks for the kind words and insightful feedback! Hopefully I'll see your name pop up in the comments for a few other of my stories!
But, most of the talking about it that I saw (and contributed to) was that it was basically just a biased transhumanist argument disguised as a story.
I wouldn't contest your characterization of "A Change in Three Parts" as an argument in the form of a story, because that is more or less what it is.
That being said, I think it is unfair to claim it is attacking strawmen. All the arguments used in the story are real arguments against genetically engineering the population.
As far as transhumanism being a religion - yeah, it often is, at least as practiced by many of its adherents.
But I don't see what was really so "profoundly troubling" about the story in particular.
3168387 I got the impression that it had far more story than it actually had.
3173328 It isn't so much that the arguments presented aren't real, but that they are shown in the mildest way possible, and are then refuted without ever being countered. Also, I don't think it argues about genetic manipulation, but about cybernetic implants.
Oh, and there is nothing troubling about this story, I would reserve that for something like "Methods of Rationality". My only problem with things like these is that it seems to work towards making this idea almost self-evident, instead of the multi-layered discussion it actually is. And as a strong supporter of this kind of technology, that irks me.
3173544
So basically, you don't like it because it is popcorn base evangelism? That's reasonable enough.
Probably more analogous, really, though honestly I suspect a lot of transhumanists are going to be terribly disappointed.