Union

I've been seeing Twilight for awhile now. We've come to a better understanding of one another, and I believe we're ready to take that step now. I believe we're meant for each other, and I know that I need her by my side. I need to be with her forever.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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PresentPerfect

Author Interviewer

PresentPerfect #1 · Jul 6th, 2014 · · ·

Worth it for the twist, though it's a bit of a slog to get there.

Why does he keep referring to her as his 'mistress'?

Integrand

Integrand #2 · Jul 7th, 2014 · · ·

4650830 A mistress is a lady who isn't married, but has relations and occasionally stays with her lover, which is what Twilight is.

Also, he's a creep.

Thanks for reading, by the way. Glad you liked it.

PresentPerfect

Author Interviewer

PresentPerfect #3 · Jul 7th, 2014 · · ·

4655543
Hmm. Too many connotations to that word, I suppose. :B

Fallen Night

Fallen Night #4 · Jul 17th, 2014 · · ·

Nice twist at the end. I like how you wrote it in a way that its left ambiguous on whats going to happen next. The overall pacing was decent not the best, but still very good. The writing itself was nice. When i as reading it a chill slowly permeated as began to know more about the main character. The more i read the more a sense of wrongness of the main charcter crept up on me I couldn't really place it other than the weird speech it wasn't until the ending did i fully understand how corrupted the guy was.

Nice story and proves that this contest is bearing good fruit to us starving readers.

Integrand

Integrand #5 · Jul 21st, 2014 · · ·

4710448 Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it.

I'd also like to thank you for the criticism. I know my pacing isn't the best. It's probably what I'm the worst at. I'll be sure to work on it for future projects.

ObabScribbler