Million Words in January (reading progress and reviews) #4 · 7:07pm Jan 30th, 2015
After slogging it out for about eleven days to finish The Elements of Harmony and the Savior of Worlds, I managed to reread all of The Sisters Doo in the space of fourteen hours. That has everything to do with immersion, which I’ll talk about in my next review post. For now, it’s time to dust off that long-hidden section of my library and read the oldest (by that I mean earliest added) one-shots on it.
Starting with an old-skool VampireShy story. Grab it below!
Story: Nosflutteratu
Author: Charcoal Quill
Synopsis:
Twilight Sparkle had been looking forward to a quiet, relaxing day with a friend, and at first it seemed that Fluttershy could provide just that. But when Twilight makes a rather unsettling discovery about the pegasus – and her unusually sanguine appetite – the knowledge proves to be anything but relaxing...
Current Length: 14,657 words (one-shot)
Status: Complete
Review: First person Twilight-PoV. Interesting start. Grammar is well-proofed. And oh man, is it entertaining as hell. Every few hundred words or so, you can pick out the subtle nuances hinting at the contents of the synopsis: Fluttershy’s reaction to things that Twilight says, how she cringes away from Twilight’s lunch, how Flutters appears pale and worn-out in the sunlight… It serves to build a sense of unease slowly and carefully throughout the story, and both mares are 100% in character while events play out. Of course, if you couldn’t already pick it out from the title, Fluttershy is a vampire, but I feel like despite it being an obvious conclusion to draw, the subtlety and minor quips could have gone on a little longer before the reveal. There’s some broken size-codes where the author has clearly intended to shrink Fluttershy’s voice to a whisper, but that clearly didn’t work, although you can of course tell what the desired effect was. He has a tendency to use italics just a little too often for emphasis on words than I’d like, but that’s a very minor quibble for the story and certainly one of the only ones even worth mentioning. Rarity plays her part well, utilising her flair for the dramatic. Applejack delivers her expected blunt explanation, though I’m not 100% fond of how her accent was written. Rainbow kind of just exploded like a nuclear bomb in Twilight’s face. There’s a horrific scene in the library that kind of jumps out at you, to marvelous effect (even if it does just turn out to be a dream). Or does it? Pinkie Pie is in her element too, as a pseudo-bartender. And the true icing on the cake was the hilarious interactions between Twilight, Fluttershy, and an eavesdropping vampire hunter. This is definitely a dark comedy to recommend.
Story: The Great Ponyville Snow Fight
Author: 8686
Synopsis:
On a winter morning in Ponyville, Rainbow Dash throws a snowball at Applejack.
Things escalate quickly.
Current Length: 11,246 words (one-shot)
Status: Complete
Review: Whoa man. This was fun! Snow flying everywhere in an epic battle for control of Ponyville, with the grand prize of milkshakes(!) up for grabs—what’s not to like? This is a fantastic piece of fun and good friends, with enough of a competitive edge to make the action feel real and exciting. I know a lot of people will say that snow ain’t everything it’s cracked up to be (I wouldn’t know) but reading this makes me want to get involved in a great snow war myself. It gets even better when the Princesses show up (Luna in particular is a riot!), and before too long, all of Ponyville has joined the shenanigans. Favourite part was the CMC’s tunnel, their systematic deconstruction of the enemy team’s leaders, and no small amount of consideration for the non-combat-involved Fluttershy. “Flanking manoeuvre” was a great joke. The running background gag of Derpy taking too long and missing out was ended by a rather touching display of good sportsmanship, so that capped things off all the sweeter. An entertaining little romp absolutely worth your time.
Story: The Only One In Color
Author: RazgrizS57
Synopsis:
When I was little, I came to understand the true meaning about a particular trait of mine. I don’t like to talk about it much because I’m just not much of a talkative pony. Or, well, I’m not anymore, but that’s beside the point. It’s just something I find difficult to talk about, much less explain, because unlike what I see, it’s not all black and white. It’s not like anyone could truly understand my condition anyway.
Well, except for maybe her.
Current Length: 16,802 words (one-shot)
Status: Complete
Review: Hmmm. The voice is all kinds of elegant, much like my own writing. It makes for a gorgeous read, but as a second-person Pinkie Pie story, supposedly when she’s even younger (the equivalent of a 12yo) than her show debut, I really don’t feel like the voice fits her. It’s an exceptionally mature voice; I don’t mean to say that I think Pinkie isn’t mature, but it’s so stiff and formal. She speaks and thinks like a college student giving a lecture or analysing the results of an experiment. That said, as a stream of consciousness, this tale succeeds gloriously well.
Wait, what?
…
Huh. Now that’s a game-changer: Pinkie can only see in scales of pink and grey. Not only that, but any word related to a colour other than pink (even the word color itself) is simply invisible. She can’t even hear mentions of other colours. This must be how it feels to be truly colour-blind.
Pinkie and Rainbow really hit it off here. Pink(amena)’s mind sure is a strange place to be. It shows a lot how her upbringing must have been through her mannerisms and body language: homeschooled, intelligent, yet downtrodden. Yet Rainbow is the perfect foil to her with her casual and overall bright attitude. When the story finally gets to the point, it smashes home: when all you can see apart from greyscale is a colour that technically doesn't exist. Even now at their young age, “Dashie” is already showing signs of being Loyalty. This is a melancholy piece that brings out a completely hidden side to Pink(amena) that nobody ever knew. Snap this up in some spare time when you’re feeling down, because beneath the anguish and tragedy of Pinkie’s condition, the story is laced with friendly and happy tones. A remarkable piece.
Story: Lady Prismia and the Princess-Goddess
Author: Skywriter
Synopsis:
Filly Cadence turns her first heart.
Current Length: 10,722 words (one-shot)
Status: Complete
Review: Being one of the main driving forces behind my resolve to complete my own Cada(e)nce story, one could reasonably assume that I had read Lady Prismia already. Actually, I had not until now. Now I’m glad I didn’t, because I cannot imagine that I would have ever completed it. I can’t compete with this level of writing, this calibre of depth and imagery, this sheer level of imagination and characterisation. I would have quit before I even truly took off. Seriously, the amount of striking similarities between Skywriter’s version and my own is eerily uncanny. While they are vastly different in execution (this one having an extremely effective use of first-person present tense), both are fundamentally about the same thing: Cada(e)nce teaching Prismia to love, subsequently gaining her cutie mark for her troubles. As far as the writing itself goes, despite there being many things I disagree with in terms of head/canon, it’s a spectacular showcase of what Skywriter is capable of. It is now that I realise how foolish I was to even try and compare my story to his, for they are vastly different, even with all the other similarities they hold.
tl;dr: if you enjoyed my story, Essenza di Amore, or just like reading about Cada(e)nce in general, this is highly within your interests to consume.
Story: Descent Into Hell
Author: DemonBrightSpirit
Synopsis:
Ponyville. That is where my fall from grace began. Twilight Sparkle and her insurmountable talent exposed me for the charlatan I was. After that inauspicious day, my shows were no longer a thunderous triumph of magic and trickery. They were a blighted sideshow—a mockery of the splendor they had once been.
In my desperation to retain the life I once held, I stooped lower and lower. I finally hit rock bottom on a remote rock farm. There, I assumed the life of some ordinary, mundane pony, hammering away at boulders until nothing but pebbles remained. It was beneath me, humiliating and degrading. The days dragged on, but my dignity fell no further. It was the bottom, the very bottom, where nothing could fall any lower.
If I had it to do over again, I would have clung to that humble bottom. I would have held on and never let go.
I made the worst mistake imaginable. In my desperate bid to claw my way back up to the graces I once knew, I put my faith in dark magic. While I may have found the bottom on that rock farm, that accursed amulet drug me even deeper, pulling me into the abyss of hell.
Current Length: 3,806 words (one-shot)
Status: Complete
Review: Yes! A first-person Trixie story about being under the influence of the Alicorn Amulet in real-time! Woohoo! But does it leave me satisfied?
Heck yeah, it does. We’re treated to a self-assessment by Trixie of her powers as they constantly grow stronger and stronger. She’s very self-aware of her new power, yet there’s the the ever-present feeling of not being in complete control (at least over herself). We can clearly see Trixie enjoying herself more and more as she becomes crueler and crueler, but it’s left to the imagination whether the Amulet itself is possessing her, or if it’s simply enhancing her own desire to dominate to frightening levels (interestingly, the Crystal Pendant does something similar if in the wrong hooves). I notice also that her use of third-person greatly increases the more the story continues; an excellent show of the Amulet increasing her vanity. Indeed, it almost seems like the story itself has completely shifted into third person, though as it’s Trixie, I still read it with her voice anyway. It’s passages like “Trixie wanted to hear her scream again.” that bring the chills. She knows she’s sinking into madness, and yet she cannot help but embrace it! As we go even further, the third-person becomes still more pronounced as she refers to herself as “She” and talks about “Herself” in an elevated state of megalomania. And that ending… hoo boy. Definite chills. I hope that Amulet is either destroyed or never wielded again. The chapter title is perfect. The story is perfect. I can’t give it any higher praise.
Next review: The Sisters Doo
Words read so far this January: 812,407
Tooting your own horn much?
I'll be adding The Great Ponyville Snowball Fight and The Only One in Color to my RiL; one sounds fun (big surprise) and the other is intriguing.
I read Descent Into Hell right after it was published. I didn't care for it. There was only one moment in the entire story that had my attention, and everything else was... meh.
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Pfft. That's just because Trixie is your favourite pony. [/srcsm]
That said:
Hee. The colored words show up through the spoiler field.
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You cannot doubt Pinkie's will to shine through the darkest times.
I still say you should read It Takes A Village. Masterpiece, that one is.
Ahh! When I reviewed Essenza, Lady Prismia is the story I redacted from the text. (I should go fix that now.)
Suffice to say, "can't compete with Skywriter" is high praise indeed. I mean, it puts you in a group that excepts maybe four writers on this site? So don't feel too bad. :)
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I had a feeling it was before you posted your Skywriter blog. I mean, what else could it possibly have been?
Oh, stop it, you.
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By which I mean when it comes to competing with Skywriter, none of us can. :B