Ponies in beds: let's get them all out of the way. · 4:22pm Dec 31st, 2014
First, we had Celestia in your bed.
Then we got some random changeling in your bed.
This was followed by learning that Celestia is still in your bed.
Then a certain someone apparently threw Rachel Green in your bed.
And as of today, Luna is now in your bed.
...that's one big bed.
It was nine feet high and six feet wide
And soft as a downy chick
It was made from the feathers of forty-'leven geese
Took a whole bolt of cloth for the tick
It could hold eight kids and four hound dogs
And a piggy we stole from the shed --
-- nevermind. But the point is that if we're going to have this many ponies in the bed, we might as well knock off the list. I just proposed Queen Chrysalis Is Disguised As Your Bed on the most recent story's Comments thread. (Spoiler alert: it was all going well until the protagonist tried to lie down and hit a pointy bit.) But there's so many more ponies, even if we only seem to have the one bed.
Come on, everyone! Let's see those story titles!
Rainbow Crashes Into Your Bed (Inevitable. Hope it wasn't a feather bed. If it was, hope you didn't try to grab for the feathers and find one which was still attached.)
Applejack Refuses To Let You Go To Bed (Slacker!)
Twilight Compulsively Makes Your Bed (This corner needs to be a little more tucked in... but of course, you can't use it now because that would just ruin it.)
Rarity Redesigns Your Bed (Canopies, darling!)
Pinkie Pie Has Turned Your Bed Into A Play Castle (Because.)
Spike Just Set Your Bed On Fire (Do not poke sleeping dragons.)
And the most inevitable, Fluttershy Is Hiding Under Your Bed. No idea how we've gotten away without that one for this long.
Other ideas for those listed above? Other ponies? Let's beat everyone to it just so we can claim infringement later!
Ponies! Beds!
It's a thing. For the next forty-seven minutes.
If pony size was a lot smaller, I would have gone with Fluttershy Is Hiding Inside Your Mattress. Cats. Box springs. Much frenzied cursing will ensue.
Actually, that's a story idea. Possibly with Opal...
...I'm going to go hide now. Possibly in a bed.
Which is not yours.
It seems that, at least in the "changeling in a bed" subgenre, one of my old stories was an Ur Example:
Hmm...
Snowflake Is In Your Bed (And there's no room for anyone else.)
The Cutie Mark Crusaders Were In Your Bed (Emphasis on the past tense.)
Mayor Mare Has Gerrymandered Your Bed (The pillow now occupies three different voting districts.)
The Flower Trio Is Afraid Of Your Bed (Plaid sheets! The horror!)
Discord Is Astride Your Giraffe (Well, she doesn't really want to be your giraffe anymore, not when she has an opinion on the matter.)
I don't regret writing that.
If I go on a drunken bender and write all of these tonight, it will be all your fault. You tempt me with your ideas.
I think this would be more of a Rarity thing. You know, that one episode with the sleepover and the landslide of Rarijack fics which followed? What I see is Twilight isn't in your bed, because she's compulsively reading every single thing in your house, from novels to Playboys to the instructions for the dishwasher.
See above.
That one's just a gimme.
Not that you'd ever know what happened to your bed, of course. Princess Celestia, on the other hoof, would have one heck of a surprise.
Well, I did write Spending the Night at Fluttershy's, but it wasn't Fluttershy who was hiding.
Davenport Replaces Your Bed with a Sofa (all the better for dorm parties)
Princess Cadence Loves Your Bed (because bad jokes are funny)
Rainbow Dash Trades Your Bed for a Daring Do Book (but where will she read it?)
Iron Will Is in Your Bed (and your bed has a few choice words for you)
Your Bed Gets Replaced by Fluttershy Gets Replaced by a Sherman Tank (not nearly meta enough)
Princess Cadence and Shining Armor Are In Your Bed And Made A Mess - Newly Weds. What did you think was going to happen?
Gilda Is In Your Bed - Combination of a cat AND bird so featherdown and purring. Best pillow EVAR!
Yeah, some of these are actually kind of tempting. Mainly the "Rainbow Dash Crashes" and Gilda ones.
"Miss Harshwhinny disapproves of you staying in bed for so long," perhaps?
Because I have to:
Star Swirl the Bearded banishes your bed to another dimension. "It was cursed."
Clover the Clever brings your bed back from the other dimension. "And I was sleeping in it." *Glares at Star Swirl*
How about Knighty redesigned your bed (and everyone's pissed)?
Or, if that's too meta, Octavia and Vinyl Scratch are in your bed (and shipping for some inexplicable reason). Or Sonata Dusk is spewing dead memes in your bed (but she's still everyone's waifu).
Someone's cutiemark ends up on your bed (and now your bed is talented in something strange)
Tree of Harmony in your bed (because it's more comfortable than cold cave, and less lonely)
Rarity's fainting couch is on your bed, and they do something unnatural together (on the up side, maybe 9 months later you'll have a batch of little pillows out of it)
The breezies occupy your bed. Wherein the breezies, needing a new home, take over your bed, constructing out of it a fort made of pillows and sheets. Any attempt of yours at sleeping is met with cripplingly tearful puppy-dog eyes.
Big Mac destroys your box spring. The poor stallion only wanted to lay down for a quick nap. He wasn't expecting to destroy your bed in the process.
Discord turns your bed into a vat of raspberry jelly. Because why not?
The strangely-obsessed-with-tubs-of-jelly pony is asleep in your jelly-bed. Thanks a bunch, Discord.
Angel bunny is on your bed. Just run. Run away.
King Sombra is in your bed. You'll never get that damage deposit back. Your lease agreement specifically stated "no smoking".
That's all I've got for now.
Oh man, talk about a blast from the past. I haven't thought about that song in probably two decades.
Surprised this one hasn't happened yet:
Flufflepuff Is Your Bed
...We didn't get much sleep,
but we had a lot of fun
on Grandma's feather bed.
I remember having to sing this in a school music program years ago. It was one of the few songs that I ever heard during school hours that I liked. I came to dislike almost every other song that i heard during school.
So you're writing all of these, is that what I'm hearing?
Knowing I may regret this:
Multi-author story post? Each of us chooses at least one of these initial titles, then someone puts up the first story/chapter and explains the concept in the long description? And then each writer adds their title/story as subsequent chapters?
We might as well all get yelled at.
2690458
So this is your fault.
...I could die from not-surprise.
2690500
The Flower Trio one may (somehow) be the most inherently ridiculous. "Adjusting mattress? But -- how can it know?"
2690507
No, it's Samey's fault. We already established that.
2690519
The Iron Will one, in the wrong/right hands, would start by begging for a Mature rating and go up from there.
No, wait. It's Iron Will. Make that 'demand'.
A crazed Davenport swapping out every bed in Ponyville has something to it...
2690540
With Gilda, please consider the joy of a species which both sheds and molts.
2690557
Careful. The Admiral may blame you next.
2690559
Really. Tell her that she can have two alicorns and a group of sundry others piled on top of her, then see how easy it is to get out.
2690578
The Dimension Of Blacklight? (Nopony look at the sheets.)
2690633
*trying to figure out how much I can laugh without getting banned*
2690639
I'm going to make you pay for that. I don't know how or when, but payment will be had. And if someone writes it? Double. In installments.
(Well, they could always ring for the nurse, but we all know how effective that is.)
2690654
But where do you sleep while your bed is pregnant?
Well, maybe the couch is the one carrying...
2690667
I think the breezies one is the best hook of the lot, but mileage varies.
Oddly, Europa came up with a 'Sombra smoking in bed' line on the Luna story comments thread. And there's that river again.
2690677
2690768
I just vaguely remembered hearing a song about a really big bed. A publicly-quotable one. Google ran it down.
John Denver is singing about ponies in your bed.
2690767
Not Ravenclaw? ...wait...
2690769
No, you are. Whoever-the-editor-winds-up-being can expect your chapter when?
2690828
You sh-shut up, baka! >:(
2690828 Heh, I could sing it for you even after all this time. My mother used to sing it and play along on the guitar. Didn't even know it was John Denver, but I'm not surprised, that's probably why she would have known it.
2690828
Whoops...
2690828
I might want to do Rainbow Dash Crashes Into Your Bed, though I think I could do more if it wasn't second-person. If we make this an actual collaborative project, are we sticking to that one? Cause I think I'd rather inflict this on some hapless random stallion.
2690828
The title of the story could be "Fimfic authors are in your bed"
2690828
This collaboration sounds like a much better idea than it probably is.
2690848
I think there's room for flexibility. Also beds.
2690855
...
...gawdsdamnit, I come here to get away from work...
...fine, but if that's the title, I'm not coordinating. My rep was critically bleeding before that.
2690860
*considers possibility of WandererD as revenge*
*thinks about rep again*
2690867
We've found our editor!
2690828
Of course on my bed! Pregnant bed would be extra-puffy and soft!
Princess Celestia is your bed (You're a horsefly*)
*not to be confused with a breezie, which is also a horse-fly.
2690881
Why do I even speak?
2690828
I'm okay with this. A small price to pay for snuggles.
2690828 Ponemurdered, but with Ponematress? I can dig it!
2690828
I'm willing to spearhead this
madnessendeavormadness.I mean, unless someone else has an urge to have RainbowBob (and probably other bloggers) make fun of them in a blog post.
I can probably have the first couple chapters up tonight--an intro chapter, and then one or two of ponies in beds. I'm totally doing Twilight Sparkle is in your bed, reading Playboy.
2690867
It's probably a terrible idea, which will only lead to sorrow. Which is why I'm willing to put my name on it!
2690540
More subtle: Princess Cadence And Shining Armor Have Commandeered Your Bed For 'Official Crystal Empire Business'
2691085
"If ya like it all that much, it's yours." (See, FOME? Off the hook!) But use Hoopy's collection/collective title, if it's permitted. This site will go whole hours before seeing that perfect a piece of clickbait again.
I claim the Opal In The Boxspring idea.
The bed is a metaphor for how the American Dream is dead, isn't it?
2691090
I just wish they would have the courtesy to replace the sheets afterwards. But that's royalty for you.
2691085 She's definitely reading it for the articles. And critiquing them in detail. And pointing out every statistical error in a pointed letter to the editor. "P.S. - And all those reference pictures of human anatomy were very distractingly placed! ...Please add more of them."
2691104
Be quiet or I'll kill you right now, person affiliated with whatever political position I don't personally practice. And if you are quiet? I'll take that as consent to kill you later. So either way, I prove you wrong and win. Now, next up on C-SPAN...
(Stateside political discourse. Advanced version.)
Or, once we take the sarcasm out: don't ask me. I can barely get people to understand the logic behind piano murder.
2691099
Yay!
I know I'm going to regret this.
I'll do a collective reply for any willing (or foolish) collaborators when the first part passes moderation.
I'm game.
Have at it!
Unrelated: I ordered that insane Pinkie Pie brushable off Amazon, and it suggested a Sunset Shimmer. Since I needed to order another pony to qualify for free shipping, I did.
To reduce the possibility of readers accidentally viewing this image, I've decided to just post a link to the image.
Click if you dare!
EDIT: If you made the mistake of clicking on that link, I offer a link to an hour long cat video to cleanse the mind.
2690828
2691085
Would it be horribly gauche to grab my own suggested title rather than someone else's?
More suggestions:
Commander Hurricane has annexed your bed. And its surrounding territory, for the glory of the Pegasus Republic.
Tibbles and Philomena are nesting in your bed. Their nesting grounds are now protected national parks by royal decree.
A Diamond Dog is in what used to be your bed.
Diamond Tiara thinks you need to give her a better bed. Especially after the Diamond Dog was done with it.
2690639
Creepypasta Ponyville? Yes please.
2691114
I clicked.
I suggest editing in a psychiatric counseling hotline number.
Immediately.
2690860
Five Nights of FIM Authors In Your Bed Eating Peaches 2: The Revenge
The Conversion Bureau is in Your Bed
Ponies Are Eating Peaches in Your Bed (dammit Seether ninja'd the peaches joke even as I typed!)
The Great and Powerful Trixie Does Not Trust Your Bed
(alternately, The Great and Powerful Trixie is Eating Peanut Butter Crackers in Your Bed)
Zecora is Happily Sitting in Your Bed, and Now You Can't Get Her Voice Out of Your Head
Elric of Melnipony is an Admin of Your Bed
Your Bed Continues to Fly East
Aria Blaze Thinks Your Bed is The Worst
Tom is Sitting on What Used to be Your Bed
Your Bed is Made of Pandas
ahhhh i can't stop somepony help
I ran out of permitted upvotes on this thread. First time that's ever happened.
Diamond Mint Left Something In Your Bed (Yes, it's a mint; what did you think it was?)
Derpy Just Doesn't Know What Went Wrong With Your Bed (Could be taken very wrong or very innocuously)
(Insert name of a nurse pony) Is At Your Bedside (and you, of course, are ill)
Raindrops Keeps Falling On Your Bed (PUN!)
2691123
No, of course not.
2691441
I like working with them, they're fun.
Then I shall do the Star Swirl the Bearded and Clover the Clever pieces
Yet more ideas:
Daring Do and the Bed of Despair.
The Flim-Flam Brothers Have A Bed For Sale That You'd Just Love.
Future Bed Must Warn You About-
Mayor Mare Has A Very Important Meeting On Your Bed. Please come back later.
2691398
(I can't be the only one waiting for them to make a full circle, right?)
2691441
I intend to do Rainbow Dash Crashes into Your Bed, if I can find the time between work and finance-related anxiety attacks.
If I find the time, I might throw in one or two more quick and dumb ideas.
2691550
It's all yours.
Judging by the list of potential titles, this thing can be dragged on until it's a thoroughly dead horse.
Spike, the Most Interesting Dragon in the World Equestria Ponyville: Look Down, Your Bed Is Now Diamonds (Self-explanatory)