This bullsh!t needs to stop! (Contains strong language and rage) · 8:26pm Oct 15th, 2014
I've been splashing my cash a little bit recently, and have just got my hands on three games that I've wanted for quite some time. They'll certainly keep me busy for a good long while. (Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments is brilliant, by the way.)
But alas, something evil lurks within one of these games... Something dark, terrible and damning... What could it possibly be?
Ah yes. This humble pre-order code for The Evil Within. Do you want to know what I think of this stupid fucking code? Do you? Okay, I'll show you.
That's what I think of this crock of shit code! Do you know what it does? Do you want to know what 'bonus' you get from using this special code for those who put their money on the line and pre-ordered the game? You get... *slams fist down on the desk in anger* extra items in the game to help you. Fuck that! I didn't buy a game just so I could receive fucking handouts to make it easier! What do game companies think I am? A cack-handed little pussy bitch who can't deal with the game's challenge? I want a pre-order code that makes the game harder! I don't want my 'bonus' to be something that ruins the fucking experience by giving me an extra medkit and additional ammo. Fuck that! I don't want handouts!
And this isn't the first game to do this. Even Dark Souls 2 had this pre-order shit! Yeah, you get certain weapons earlier on in the game by inputting a code. Do I look like a total fucking wimp? Why do you game companies think I bought the game? It was so I could endure an experience akin to being repeatedly booted in the teeth for sixty hours straight! How difficult is it for you people to understand that!? And the same for Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time, which gave you access to the Insomniac Museum from the get-go, rather than let you earn it by collecting all the Zoni. And the same with Deus Ex: Human Revolution which had a pack for extra weapons. And the same for Dead Space, where the pre-order code gives you the best suit right from the beginning. Don't give me extra weapons! Fucking take them away! I don't want extra healing items! I don't want hints and tips! I want to play the game in all its will-breaking, soul-crushing glory! I want to fail and die and pay for my mistakes! I want to access extra areas by toiling away for hours on end searching for secret items! That's what gaming is supposed to be!
So that's why I didn't censor the code. Anyone out there who's interested in The Evil Within and is a complete and utter dickless, cowardly pussy can use it instead. Just acknowledge what you are before you do.
*Deep breath* Thank you.
PS. (Okay, a bit of a joke, but seriously, an extra costume or two is fine, but I absolutely refuse to use any of these pre-order codes designed to make the game easier. Do game companies actually think they're a selling point?)
I laughed way too hard than was necessary.
Well, all I can say is don't use the codes, but to be honest lots of people prefer to have an extra weapon. Not all the time are the weapons or items even useful; I've had a few pre-order game codes that gave mostly useless stuff that didn't top the stuff I could find later. And no, that doesn't mean I agree with you.
More than likely most of the people would disagree, and that's because the idea of getting bonus content for being a "loyal customer" will appeal to just about anyone, regardless of what it is.
Also I feel it was going a bit too far to say
Was that really necessary? Yes, I get you're mad over this, but is it really necessary to tell whoever uses that code that they're whatever you're referring (and be honest, it's nothing good) as? Sometimes people don't want an extremely hard challenge in games. It's the reason why I don't like Dark Souls and won't pick up DS2. I think the game is too hard, and I prefer games that let me choose the difficulty.
The perfect example would be Diablo 3 on console for me. You can go from the easiest difficulty (normal) all the way to Torment x6, which is really fucking hard. I don't like DS because it has one difficulty -- hard, and for me, that's no fun when it's the first time playing.
2535393
You really weren't supposed to take my rant seriously. At all.
I don't actually care about getting these codes; it's up to the player to decide if they use them or not. I just find the practice weird, is all.
2535436 Oh... well...
Okay then... 
Oh, Ficta, you and your masochistic demeanor and impulses...
I'll use the code. I'll use the living fuck out of it. They will have to put me in jail due to excessive sexual abuse on that fucking code. I don't even have that game and I will use the code. Watch...watch....see that? I just put in that code, don't have the game, still used the code.
If there was a code that allowed me to become a super god in a game, I would use it. Not just a "God Mode," a super god. I would be a god, but I would be a super version of said god. You know how like there is man, right, then there is Superman? That would be me, but a god instead of Superman. And I mean I would turn on that code on anything, too. Fucking Tetris, Hello Kitty games, fucking tic tac toe; all that shit.
Oh, and by the way, Ficta. I am down voting all your fics for putting out a blog with no plushies in it. You brought it on yourself, sir. Have a nice day, and may God have mercy on your soul.
2535961 Again, this made me laugh way too hard than was necessary.
Someone start a schoolyard chant, now!
WE. WANT. PLUSHIES! WE. WANT. PLUSHIES! WE. WANT. PLUSHIES! WE. WANT. PLUSHIES! WE. WANT. PLUSHIES!
2535961
Well if it isn't my arch-nemesis, Easy Mode Man! Still have your copy of Dark Souls 2 sitting on the shelf, uncompleted? Pah! Enjoy the code, you vile fiend! You're just pleasing the devil with your cowardice! And may God have mercy on my soul? I don't want mercy!
I am dedicated to my cause. I once had a friend who played through Resistance 2 on easy mode, so I cut out his heart with a spoon. Why not a knife? Because that would be too easy! And now I've just learned that you have to beat The Evil Within to unlock hard mode, which is a fucking disgrace! So I will therefore be installing a mechanical whip that will be programmed to lash at my back and tear my flesh every time I die in the game.
Our father, who art From Software,
Miyazaki be thy name,
Thy Demon's Souls,
Thy will, it calls,
To I who art a mere mortal,
Give us this our daily death,
And forgive our poorly-timed dodges,
As we forgive those who dodge poorly against us,
And lead us not into safety,
But deliver us from frustration,
For thine is the challenge,
And the power, and the glory,
Until Bloodborne is released.
Praise the sun.
2536278
You want the plushies? You can't handle the plushies!
2536417 Meh, I would argue more....but that would be hard. (see what I did there?)
Oh, and I downvoted all your fics, AGAIN, for saying "Praise the Sun." I also unsubscribed, and left your fandom. 10/10 IGN do want kill with fire.
Now I don't know nothin about all that silly prayer stuff you just said. I ain't much known for speakin fancy words and puttin 'em together all pretty like. But I know this for true.
Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The
Forceshall set me free.^
ponies
Right thar gov'na. Think I will have a kip then pop down to tha pub for a spot of tea, what, what?
A list of preorders better than extra items.
-an artbook
-the soundtrack
-a plush toy
-keychains
-a silly hat
-Free DLC.
- other silly items that don't affect the game