Site Post » Reviews Round 34 · 6:01pm Jan 4th, 2014
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good fics with low views. You can find us here.
“Wake up!”
The shout reverberates through the dimly lit, rocky corridor. As the echoes die down in favor of the languid dripping of water from the cavern’s ceiling, the sounds of grunting and of fabric being strained past its breaking point slowly build.
“I said wake up!” yells Burraku, a sock stretched between his balled fists. “I made a resolution—a New Year’s resolution—that we would be on time for this round of reviews, and that can’t happen while we’re down here! You’re going to do”—he pulls the fabric tauter still—“your”—the elastic is now all but massacred—“share!”
A rip rings out. Burraku, red-faced and panting, stares at the two halves of a sock in his hands. Tears flow freely down into his beard.
“What the heck’s going on over here?” comes the voice of Casca, who emerges into the shallow lanternlight. He quirks an eyebrow at the scene before him.
“I… I killed him, Cas,” blubbers Burraku. “He was… just sitting there. Not doing anything. And I”—he sniffles—“Oh, what have I done?”
Casca takes one of the sock halves and brings it to his nose. It smells to him like the dank air of the cavern, but there isn’t one hint of cigar smoke. “BP, this isn’t S—”
The ceiling overhead crumbles, and Casca deftly dodges the falling stones. He and Burraku stare upwards into the clearing dust.
“Come on, boys!” yells down Sock. “No time to waste.”
“Sock!” says Burraku. He clambers up through the hole and meets up with his footy friend. “Does this mean you finally finished?”
“Er,” Sock begins, “mostly?”
Burraku’s agonized shout is heard for miles in the previously silent winter’s night.
ROUND 34
HATS OFF, AND THAT IS INDEED ALL!
I’m pretty sure this is one of the shortest fics we’ve ever included in one of these rounds, and that makes it somewhat difficult to review at any length. The fact that it is fantastically executed makes it even harder. Seriously, I’m even struggling to compose one of my signature sock-related similes. It’s like I’m a neophyte, fresh from my first wash all over again.
Oh, well, that’ll do.
See, this fic is so good, so simply and utterly good it does everything it needs to in a mind-bogglingly short amount of time. It’s just one vignette, a flicker in the lives of its two tagged characters, but it’s nonetheless some fairly heavy stuff. It’s but a moment, but it’s a profound moment, and to say anything more would invite spoilers.
Instead, I’ll say it captures Pinkie’s thought processes perfectly. From the opening paragraph to the very last, the prose maintains a style that is distinctly that of our favorite party pony. Her thoughts are rampant, yet focused; the prose is deftly balanced between descriptive and narrative, and this makes for a well-flowing read.
I usually reserve at least a few words to more harshly critique certain aspects of a fic, but I’m still coming up short here. Again, there is, at the most, a miniscule amount of negativity I could bring to bear. The final word is that, despite its length, this one covers a lot of area in a relatively short amount of time, like a sock hoisted over the average foot.
Hmm... I think I like that one better, actually.
This is a toughie. That’s All is a very short, very straightforward, and it works very nicely, and it’s difficult to say any more than that—not because there’s anything much to spoil per se, but because there’s not a ton to be said beyond “It’s a well-executed, bite-sized one-shot wherein Pinkie and Applejack are friends”, so if you need more than that to be interested, I’m not so sure I can deliver. It has great characterization? Well, it did, for what was there; it was a fun little take on Pinkie’s mindset and Applejack was as Applejack as I’ve ever wanted her to be. It’s heartwarming? That it was; it’s a cute scenario made cuter by Pinkie’s internal gravitas. It’s… pure? Most definitely, to the extent that I might call it a sweet little affirmation of why I like this show.
Whatever, man, I'm really not used to reviewing things this short—especially things that have no real problems, which is probably the hardest part. I'm used to playing up a story's good points against its bad points, but this story didn't really leave itself enough room to screw much of anything up. I just liked it a good deal and you’re probably going to as well. It’s ten minutes or less of your time, and you should give it a shot.
This is a story with perfect execution.
This is the first time I’ve ever said something of a story, period. My go-to references for amaze - Thief of Time, 1984, Lolita - I can’t say that about them, though they come pretty darn close. Sure, they encompass a much greater world, deal with lesser-explored (both at the time, and even till today) themes much more extensively, but let’s not go too deep into it. Point being, this story takes its idea and its characters and runs with it in a way that any other way becomes unimaginable. The characterization of AJ and Pinkie are spot-on to a tee. The direction and plotting is nicely thought-out. The timing is just right.
Really, it’s so short as is but so perfect in execution. Quite unlike this review, really - my good ol’ parameter evaluation method is overshadowed by this one core strength. If you’re not going to give at least that inkling of curiosity stirring in your heart a go, it’s your loss.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTS; IT’S TIME TO GET FANCY!
To engage his readership, an author needs an effective hook. Common doctrine would dictate that this be the very first sentence of whatever story is being told, and that it be suitably profound or otherwise attractive to the reader. I’ll tell you what, it can be as simple as introducing something new into a familiar setting, such as an ostentatious carriage to the streets of Ponyville. Or even better, by the coming of some rarely-seen faces in Ponyville: Sir Fancy Pants and his lovely wife Fleur de Lis.
Yes, Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis are married in this fic, and, despite the potential for that characterization to be stilted and awkward, they come across as a very well-made match for one another. The key to it all is that they talk, and even more key, what they say is interesting. It’s always fun to have a pair of wits play off of one another, especially when those two wits don’t always see eye-to-eye. Fancy Pants and Fleur both have distinct personalities, and its from their divergent tastes that the central conflict of the story springs.
See, Fancy Pants isn’t so fancy. He is, in fact, far more interesting than that. He’s flighty and energetic, a free spirit trapped by the bonds of aristocratic decency. Like a sock constrained by a shoe, he must hide his true self from the world at large. He rebels, of course, and that is a major part of what makes him so interesting—it’s a very different, but entirely believable interpretation of his character.
“Entirely believable” could also refer to the myriad supporting players in this little drama. Though Fancy Pants and Spike are the only two to show up in the tags, pretty much everyone gets a word or two in. The rest of the Mane Six show up, of course, but they’re rather downplayed. The focus is very much on those two characters presented by the tags.
It’s those tags that originally drew me to the fic, in fact. I like to see odd pairings among the characters, especially when there’s no “Romance” tag involved, since it can often lead to some engaging stories. This fic is a shining example of that; it takes two characters who normally wouldn’t even cross paths and brings them together in a narrative that ultimately leads to a conclusion which carries a moral very much in the spirit of the show.
In summary, this fic brings to the table a convincing plot, well-executed and original characterization, and a resounding message. If there were ever any bullet points for a good story… well, there you go. Suffice it to say, this one is far from a bittersweet experience.
There’s a type of story that never fails to draw me in, and I’ve been trying to put it into the right words for a while now. This type is one wherein a story’s plot feels less like a sequence of events and more like a situation that the characters start off in, from which point the progression of the story happens almost entirely through the different intersections of the characters’ personalities. Characters meet each other, learn from each other, and take action because of what they’ve learned. Dialogue is present in abundance, and great characterization is tying it all together. Bittersweet Music is an excellent example of this type of story.
Let me get some criticism out of the way, as this story wasn’t quite perfect. There were a number of one-off mechanical issues, and though it was fine in that regard for the most part, a few were in some of the most key moments, meaning I couldn’t fully immerse myself for the whole of the piece. Also, while the characterization was downright wonderful in most places, I found the first exchange between Fancypants and Spike (the two main characters) to be very odd, particularly in how Spike was acting; little cues throughout the piece told me that Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders weren’t quite children anymore, but it was never made explicitly clear, so I was left picturing the same old little Spike acting almost creepily adolescent (even taking into account that his growing up was the point of his character arc here). In the vein of making things clear, I also felt that the descriptions were a tad lacking throughout—less the body language, more the locations.
Still, Bittersweet Music was technically excellent for the most part and the characterization was downright incredible—this story had the most interesting portrayal of Fancypants I’ve yet had the pleasure of reading, and it gave me a Fleur de Lis deep enough that I could actually understand her as his wife, which was a damn sight better than her portrayal in the show. It took Spike in a unique and intriguing direction, to boot (though I’m pretty sure my vision of his song was very different from what the author had in mind…). It wasn’t quite perfect, no, but it was fun, funny, and definitely worth the time.
"Filthy Rich," he said and held up his hoof. "My family is the chief benefactor for this humble little show. Perhaps you've heard of me?"
"Ah yes, Filthy!" Fancypants gave it a firm shake. "I hear your name in court all the time, I dare say. Filthy, Filthy Filthy! That's all they talk about."
Here we are - DuncanR, that is, who’s quite the SA favourite as he is, indeed, a darn talented writer. Heh. Are.
This piece is testament to the strength of the 10k oneshot. Daunting as it seems to read, it is well-plotted, carried simultaneously by encounters not quite expected and - the star of the piece - Fancy Pants - the ball starts rolling almost immediately, and it is thoroughly engaging. This story looks at quite the plate of themes, one particularly resounding one being that of finding a balance in “giving in” and keeping one’s personality in relationships - and it’s all carried by Fancy Pants, bouncing off in that irrascibly charming way of his with anypony he encounters. While plenty of stories kinda have him written as he is here, few reach the degree of wit, vibrancy and warm-hearted wisdom poured into the mold by the author.
What makes it shine is the loving respect he gives to each character - even the one-off characters are distinguishable from each other, conveying some modicum of personality through the few or many words each says. This is well and truly a Fancy Pants story, but the well-bodied cast makes it real. No one character is a silver bullet, no interaction is bland. One can find this in the library scene with Spike, for example - not much description of the library? Didn’t matter to me, because I could still see it clearly thanks to how well Spike is voiced, and how fun Fancy Pants is being - the attention is given to where it is due.
If you’re looking for a piece that makes you feel good, happy, and just a little bit wiser for reading it, look no further.
STORY 3
My Little Golem, by Plonq
GOLEM? I HARDLY KNOW ‘EM!
So, first thing to know about this fic: everyone is very much out-of-character. Second thing: there’s quite a bit of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome in it. Third thing: it’s bats-running-the-belfry batty. Only one of these is a negative criticism.
Using the lattermost as a jumping-off point, I will say that this is not a fic for those looking for anything resembling the usual order of the show. The setup, messages, and execution are completely insane. Judging from the title, one would think that it’d be relatively straightforward; there’s a golem involved, and Twi’s likely to blame. And while that is not an inaccurate estimation, it is, like most socks waiting patiently in their drawers, utterly deceptive.
There certainly is a golem, and it certainly plays a part throughout the narrative, but at the same time, it’s mostly in the background. The real action—and comedy—of this fic is in everything else going on, and how the characters are behaving under the circumstances. Coupled with the exaggerated characterization, this leads straight into some uniquely twisted whimsy.
This is a grey comedy—not quite black, but certainly not innocent. Its humor derives from its overblown prose and from its characterization, with every one of the familiar faces given a much, much different temperament. The absurdities spouted by our familiar protagonists are, well, absurd to the point where one can’t help but laugh—Apple Bloom lamenting the failure of the common good being one such example.
As I said, though, there is a bit of a problem with Lavender Unicorn Syndrome—the usage of overly-descriptive phrases in referring to the characters rather than by more efficient pronouns—but if you can look past that, you’ll find a delightfully absurd romp through racist stereotyping, philosophical musings on the subjectivity of truth, implied necromancy, and the maddening darkness that lies after death.
And all of those are completely positive things.
I honestly can’t remember the last time I read a good satire around here. If I had to guess, it was probably something by Blueshift over a year ago—I’ve been starved. For now, though, Plonq’s My Little Golem finally has me sated.
The key here, for me, was the story’s subtlety. Most of the stories with the Random tag that I’ve read on this site (and, I daresay, the lion’s share of Comedy) tend to be very overbearing in their sense of humor; characters might be pale imitations of their canon selves—if they aren’t flagrantly insane—and events that play out are often little more than chains of gags. Essentially, they aren’t satirical so much as they are stupid. Of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with writing a stupid story if that’s what you feel like doing, but it probably just isn’t going to interest a guy like me. I need real wit. I need the way in which canon is warped to have an actual purpose—to make some clever observation or the like. I don’t need to be beat over the head with randomness. My Little Golem met my needs nicely. In fact, the changes began so subtly, I didn’t even know what I was getting into as I was reading the first chapter. Plonq wasn’t afraid to start slow and let the humor (and, by extension, the insanity) crescendo down the line, and I respect that.
As far as flaws go, most of what My Little Golem needs is a slight bit of proofreading. Otherwise, it was excellent; the characters were hilarious and consistent, the timing and pacing were wonderful, the themes were clever, and the plot fit snugly. Stories like this, so well-handled but unrecognized, make me proud to be a part of this group. Give it a go.
I know I’ve been talking pretty big all this while, but I dare you to find me an author so little-known that has such a masterful grasp of parody.
My Little Golem follows the story of a certain Twilight Sparkle who, because she can, animates a golem, which goes about as well as you think it does. The plot is decent, because it doesn’t need to be more than that - what this story is really about, imo, is wicked humour. Purists of characterization are warned to ease up - the very tone of comedy draws from just-enough carcriaturation (as well as the occasional throwaway joke) - Twilight is slightly neurotic, Rarity is, well Rarity. And such is how the parody goes, though it’s more of a play on the characters themselves than anything. Add a small dash of self-awareness, and the result is solid satire that you’d feel only a little guilty for laughing at.
I gave up trying to find something relevant. Then I found this.
It’s so hard these days to find a fic that doesn’t go over the top with ridiculousness, but instead knows how to make it just right - the balance between faithfulness to telling the story and indulging in a bit of snark is a very sweet one. Tired of all those LOLOLOL stories that get up in your face with how funi they are? Allow yourself to be refreshed in the glow of a fine taste for interplay and wonderful comedic timing and scaling.
“So…” says Casca, eyes shifting about the shoddy yet wifi-enabled lodge. “Are we really not going to mention it?”
Burraku lifts his gaze from the bundle of newly bought tube socks he’d been stabbing. “Mention what?”
“Well, the round number. This is, um, R. Thirty-F—”
“No.” Burraku’s knife glints in the light from the fireplace.
“A-Alright.”
Feel free to visit our group and offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
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1681860
Of course it's me who posts this one, right?
1681863
It's destiny, I'm pretty sure
Good to know there's someone who looks out for us little guys. Keep up the good work fellas.
Huh, look at that. Two of this round's features are taken from the rec thread. There's Bittersweet Music, which was recommended a week and a half ago. And there's That's All, which presentperfect recommended... two months ago.
Eh, still not the worst turnover for this group.
1681860
Technically, Round 31. Though all things considered, you probably should've saved Popping Twilight's Cherry for this round, assuming that one was even worth an SA feature to begin with.
1682294
First off, we're not mods, we're a group of reviewers. The mods post the reviews, but nothing else. Second, to answer your question:
In short, we look for good stories, that being good grammatically and story-wise, and with a low view count. Other than that, there's not really much of a restriction. We review any and all genres and all types of stories.
1682805>>1682553
But no clop.
1682871
Yes... that's why it says that in the thing I quoted.
Yes you guys did That's All I'm so glad you liked it :D
Also Bittersweet Music was fantastic. That was a great writeoff.
Reported for siteposting R34.
1683399
Oh, whoops. I generally have the rules for recommendations (from Casca's post in the rec thread) much better memorized than the FAQs on the group's front page, so I must've missed that part completely. My mistake.
I liked the comic.