A Simple Slice of Life: "Cirrus" · 8:49pm May 14th, 2013
Like other reviews of mine like this, I won’t be critiquing anything about this story. I’d rather you be as enticed as possible to read a simple Slice of Life I think is worth it, and this isn’t really meant to point out flaws. It’s more meant to pull you partially into an experience, and hopefully convince you to go check it out. I may take issue with something about it, and there may be some grammar errors, but they won’t be pointed out here.
With that out of the way, here we go!
Rainbow Dash is a character known not only for being the bearer of Loyalty, but for being brash and competitive. This has been seen in "Fall Weather Friends" in the Iron Pony competition, as well as "Read it and Weep" when Twilight was surprised that Rainbow Dash lost the Battleship-esque game. We've also seen that Rainbow Dash likes to push herself, both in "Sonic Rainboom" and "Wonderbolt Academy." She wants to be the best, and she's willing to push herself very hard to reach the pinnacle.
What does she do to unwind? It was seen in "The Mysterious Mare-do-Well" that she likes to cloud-swim, and it's seen that she likes to just fly around in "May the Best Pet Win." With all of the activity she does in the show, retreating to the sky for some Dash-time would help her relax and give her a sense of contemplation, being alone with a seemingly infinite amount of space surrounding her.
This Slice-of-Life story both guides Rainbow Dash to a relaxing moment and gives her a sense of contemplation, without going to in-depth or complicated.
Cirrus, by Garbo802
Sometimes we just have to slow down and enjoy the simple things in life.
This is a 2,106-word story about Rainbow Dash flying all the way up to the topmost layer of clouds, the cirrus.
According to the rest of Garbo's summary for this story, he wrote this to get himself "back into the swing of things," and in his author's note , he says he wrote this out of a writer's depression. He wrote this story with the "write what you know" mindset in order to treat this depression, and this story is a parallel to what Garbo feels when he runs (this is taken from his author's note). This story is most likely a look into what an athlete thinks when he or she contemplates his or her position in the grand scheme of things.
I should also mention that Bronystories was a major help to Garbo802 when this was written, if I read it correctly.
Rainbow Dash, being on a higher rung than most, would most likely contemplate just how far she'd push herself before she was the best, and how far she could push herself. Garbo does talk a bit about how Rainbow Dash views herself and her drive to be the best. She does not come off as cocky, but she does come off as contemplative, giving this Slice-of-Life a feeling of really looking at Rainbow Dash's life instead of just being in the moment (not that that would be a bad thing).
The focus of the story, though, isn't entirely on Rainbow Dash's present and future self. The contemplation is about Rainbow Dash's personal climb to be where she is now in the story, and this moment of contemplation is reached by a physical climb into the atmosphere. Garbo has Rainbow Dash pass a bunch of cloud types before she reaches the very-high wispy cirrus clouds, and I'd actually like to provide some visual aids for people that may wonder what these clouds look like; the story doesn't provide description for them, so here's a picture of each of the clouds mentioned:
Stratus … Nimbostratus … Stratocumulus
Cumulus … Altocumulus … Altostratus
Cirrocumulus … Cirrostratus … …
And finally:
… Cirrus
And here's a visual reference for where clouds are in relation to the atmosphere and each other:
Getting back to the actual story, Rainbow Dash passes each of these clouds on her way up, just to see how high she feels like climbing. Along the way, there is the mention of the amount of oxygen becoming scarcer, making it harder to breathe, but that doesn't really bother her; she's acclimated a bit to these heights, and as the narrator mentions, "she’d put herself through pain regularly just to reach where she was, and knew that further elevation would require even more pain." Just reaching the top is a challenge, but it's one that Rainbow Dash is willing to take to become the best.
The cirrus clouds themselves bear a significance to Rainbow Dash because they're somewhat like her: they are independent and yield to nopony. Garbo makes an interesting observation in this story: cirrus clouds aren't formed by pegasi, but by nature themselves. Whether one is willing to make that into their headcanon or not, it does provide two things that add on to Rainbow Dash's character: the effort of the higher-ups to hide it, to appear that they have the sky completely in control, and their legendary status in being so elusive and little-known. Rainbow Dash has pushed herself to reach the cirrus clouds, and her effort have yielded their presence to her. Up here, with the independent and somewhat majestic clouds, she can think about her efforts to get here and how high she can actually go.
The story itself doesn't begin with her flying around in the clouds. The beginning paragraph is a brief introduction to the life in the cities of Equestria, being peaceful, yet having a lively nightlife. Ponies must go off to slumber, and this thought leads to the heart of the story:
Despite this lack of control, Luna’s world of sleep is often a comfort to those who need a break from the struggles of life. Surely, they think, a world of perfect harmony could never be achieved out of this imaginary destination. Surely, it would take the most infinitely complex action to even come close to attaining that sort of perfection.
Or would it?
It may just be what athletes feel when they wake up and begin their pre-sunrise running or swimming, or it could be what anyone feels when they wake up and know what they're going to do, but this question evokes a sense of passion. Dreams are reflections upon the mind—or forebodings of the future, as some people believe—but they are nothing if they aren't put into action. This set-up creates a nice introduction to an early-morning ritual that some people have, that thing people do when they wake up that prepares them for the rest of the day. There are television commercials of athletes waking up in the early hours of the morning to begin training because it's what they're passionate about; I feel like Rainbow Dash is the same way in this story.
Her first action upon waking up is, apart from noticing the fan that holds Tank up in her home, is to stare at her skylight. Immediately upon seeing it, she springs out and begins to fly around Ponyville, at first diving down to Sweet Apple Acres. I believe that this provides a pleasant familiar atmosphere for Rainbow Dash to interact in, like a run around the city one's grown up in, to where Rainbow Dash can experience the familiar things on her flight, and then ascend to the unfamiliar, to push herself. It's almost like a daily routine, making a star athlete appear like a regular person/pony.
At the beginning and at the end of the story, the same three concepts are written: peacefulness, quietness, and serenity (they're written in different ways between the first and the second). These three words are used to describe both Equestrian cities and the cirrus clouds, and they all affect Rainbow Dash. The peacefulness of her morning allows her to perform her activity unhindered. The quietness of her morning allows her time to reflect on her life. The serenity of the morning allows her to focus on both herself and her future without being distracted by things either minute or severe. These three things act on her in order to bring herself into a state of control of her own mind at that moment.
I won't spoil the ending, but I will say that it's nothing grandiose, but it is fitting for a moment like this, methinks. It sums up her current situation nicely and a bit sagely, and it makes a comment on her current barrier in an optimistic way.
Technically, there is one thing that may annoy readers, but his prose is very smooth. I don't recall there being any spelling errors in it, and the pacing is very leisurely while still providing a bit of energy during the ascent into the atmosphere. I had minimal trouble reading this story.
Overall, "Cirrus" left me with a very optimistic feeling. It's a very nice story to read when one has a slump; Rainbow Dash can be seen as a role model with how much she pushes herself to achieve her goal, and reading this story may remind people that they may be at a level they're unsatisfied with, but if they keep at it, they'll break barriers and most likely move on to higher things. The cirrus clouds are a fitting metaphor for those lofty goals that people try to reach for, being unknown or legendary to most, and yet being attainable. It's a flight through the clouds that encompasses a lot of feelings, and I feel like it's worth at least one readthrough.
Note: I am willing and eager to improve in these styles of reviews. If there's something you feel I can be doing better, please don't hesitate to tell me.
Other Reviews Of Simple Slices of Lives:
ArcheonZ's "A Moment in the Sunlight"
bookplayer's "Of Cottages and Cloud Homes"
Martian's "Dance"
Wow. This is probably the most amazing thing anyone's ever done for me in a long time.
I also almost cried, by the way.
The amount of information and speculation you did about such a short piece of work is incredible. And you really hit everything dead on, from start to finish. Almost everything stated here is something I thought when I was writing the story, or afterwards after going back and re-reading my work.
And I used that exact same cloud diagram to figure out the layers, so that's a funny coincidence (I didn't have that knowledge off of the top of my head, so I used that as a reference)
But seriously, thank you so much. Nothing makes me happier than having someone truly appreciate and understand my work; I'd trade all my followers for it to happen again.
1079552 I'll admit that "Cirrus" is the only story by you I've read, but it's an excellent Slice-of-Life, in my opinion. Each of the ones I've done so far have imparted a small-yet-grand lesson on me. "Dance" was letting go and having fun; "Of Cottages and Cloud Homes" was bonding with friends; "A Moment in the Sunlight" was enjoying the smaller things; this story was allowing oneself to contemplate, and being okay with where one is with the hope of continuing onward (something, I'll admit, my family tells me often).
I will be checking out some of your other works. This story is excellent, in my opinion.
1079582
I love of cottages and cloud houses. Bookplayer happens to be my favorite author on this site, and that story was pretty impressive. And on a slightly less related note, I got permission a while ago to write a side-story to it, but I haven't really followed through on it yet.
Cirrus was flat wonderful. (For once, I'd gotten to a story before you did, NW.) It deserves this kind of thorough examination.
1080384
The crazy thing with you is that you always seem to find the good stories (or at least the kinds I find good). Every time I find something nice on here, you've usually commented. You're also a very good writer yourself, defiantly under appreciated.