'Ask me anything' as a compound noun implies a period of time where I'm not willing to be questioned · 7:55am May 11th, 2013
I've pinged all my fics because archonix did it. Feel free to direct all expressions of hatred to the appropriate authorities.
Also, check the Pony Fiction Vault interview for Solace if you're interested in more vague, authorial questions; I'll gladly elaborate on any point if you wish.
I never asked for answers when I was younger because they were so much easier to give than take.
This is the kind of sentence, of course, that people make up to be quoted. It never works, but what I'm saying right now is meta enough that it will be the thing I'm going to say people won't quote because the application of false modesty to oneself is a great way to make people think you're humble and in doing so ensure that you have a reason to suggest that you are in fact denigrating yourself with false accusations of conceitedness. I could continue this paragraph, but in truth I'm only doing so in a clever attempt to provide a soft segue into the next sentence - and what better goal could exist for a humble sentence but a seamless segue?
In any case, I love and have always loved being asked questions and always will; feel free to ask anything you wish.
Pictured: Me.
(Yes, Pashoo, I'm still looking for an answer.)
If answers were so easy for you to give, how is that a reason for never having asked for questions?
1069776
You magnificent bastard.
Fixed*.
*after five revisions d'oh
1069778
Pfft, saw 3/5 of them and kept wanting to criticize. And you thought people weren't going to quote it just because you made it up to sound quotable.
As for an actual question… I don't recall you ever having mentioned your general attitude towards your followers/the fact of your popularity (though I imagine you have, and it's just buried under the mounds of things you off-handedly mention in your blogs as you make this or that parodic self-inflating statement as a tangent to your point). Care to share?
Is the answer to this question: no?
1069784
I pretend not to care so I can.
Seriously, though, the followers I care about having are the ones whose names I have in my head. My mother interrogates me on occasion about the amount of followers I have in relation to Aegis Shield's (because she's Chinese), but I'm otherwise unconcerned; after all, if they're not commenting or speaking with me or poking their praise-dicks about reluctant authorial lips they're numbers on a page.
Not that I don't like numbers on a page. I really, really like numbers and their locations upon specific pages.
(That being said, I've only so far been unfollowed by two people of subjective importance - should I say 'ponies', given as they're both otherkin? - and I suppose that the feeling I felt for both unfollows was more a mild amusement than anything. I guess I really do have no love for anyone although I assure you I'd be devastated if your name were to flee from my list.)
I once felt rather disturbed by the fact that I lay a lot more spotlight and feedback on other people than they do on me, but I figured rather quickly that I was only a capitalist in pecuniary terms: I suppose getting people to read good stories is a good enough justification for me.
Also wait, I'm popular? That's some bloody news right there.
1069785
No.
Can you teach me how to mock effectively? Who is that handsome man?
And will Twilight ever get laid?
Serious question too: what, if anything, do you hope to achieve with your writing?
1069807
Well, I suppose I was speaking comparatively. 319 followers seems an awful lot to someone like me, and you seem at least moderately respected/well connected. Though… now that I actually think about it, none of my FimFic acquaintances have ever had a good thing to say about you, for whatever reason. But hey. Still love ya.
* What do you like best about penises?
* When you read the words, "a fictional character," who is the FIRST character who comes to mind?
* In the distant year 2013, PC gaming has been eliminated from the face of the universe. Select any console, past or present. Whichever one you choose will be the only one you can play for life.
* What is your absolute favorite area of study?
* Which pony, if any, do you most identify with?
* What is the most noble human pursuit?
* Who wants ice cream?
* What is the question you wished someone had asked but no one did?
1069812
You have to find something worth mocking.
I'm unsure to what you're referring, and I fear I'd make an unfunny joke without an appropriate point of reference. Feel free to enlighten me.
That would spoil the story, wouldn't it?
I want my written ideas to cause the deaths of at least ten million people.
I'd settle just as well for the saving of a single one.
Quotables aside (I'm a licensed franchise of Aalewis Quoteforging Enterprises Pvt. Ltd., check it), I want to make anybody happy who's worth happiness. That has been my goal from the start and I believe I have kept that goal throughout.
(Guess worthiness' criterion.)
1069813
320 right before your first comment, in fact. How fame fleets.
Any feedback is good feedback. I literally get a tingle in my loins every time I see something that somebody's said something about me or my writing, good or bad, because while I might have the benefit of positive feedback from people who give it to my face the feedback given with the expectation I won't read it is often the most arousing of all.
Goddamn.
I think I've got a problem.
1069822
Oh, it's mostly just "he's an ass" this and "young or not, she needs to grow the hell up" that. Your issues with Sorren causing a headache for D and such. Nothing I should think would be all that loin-tinglingly interesting.
Possessed of the capacity to enjoy your work in the first place?
1069820
I'm trying to come up with something that doesn't make me look like a masculist, but can one truly choose between the hypostases of the Trinity?
That being said, they do smell very nice. My aunt once asked me what she smelt like and, I, to translate from the creole, said 'you smell like an [unwashed] penis'; the comparison would continue to be held up as an example of my breathtaking frankness for years after, but I was just trying to be nice.
She really just smelt like she'd been washed.
(This is sacrilege, of course; after all, we all know the only cleaning-fluid penises need is saliva.)
Jean Baudrillard.
Hey, I was scrambling for a name and you didn't specify if the character itself had to be fictional. It's weird being asked what the first thing to come to mind is ever because looking for something in my head brings up a thousand concepts just barely out of my reach all at once, there and I know what they are but I have to pull them out before I really do know.
I looked at a Pinkie Pie smilie right after I finished writing that and I thought 'China', but since I wasn't thinking of the Axis Powers Hetalia character I'm going for Pinkie Pie - but then again, I looked over Dash's face and never thought of the character in anything but that same subsurface way. Does that count?
Never shall my hands lie upon the muddied roots of my disgraceful childhood; in my ascent have I embraced the ways of the PC, and in my descent I will hold: for it is better that the Master Race live on only in memory than befoul its followers with the console-borne death.
People.
Pinkie Pie.
[laughingbronies.tif]
The happiness of the worthy.
Too filled with macadamia nuts to answer.
>past tense
i.imgur.com/oqp55Tu.gif
That being said, I'm pretty sure I'd like to be interrogated on politics and social pretence and stuff. I've got a lot to say about those goddamned liberals, I'll tell you right now.
1069837
i.minus.com/ib0DG65drG2QRt.gif
(Not even one 'she's a fucking sadistic cunt', though? You need better friends.)
i.minus.com/ibiUq1CVm6Nh8o.gif
My writing's given him a headache? Sounds like karma to me.
sick burn
feel it
1069822
I can't, it's a throw-away line without meaning or purpose.
Activities liable to promote the desire for popcorn consumption?
(One of these days, Amit
)
Anyways:
*At what point in your life did you become self-aware? Do you regret this decision?
*Do you still have faith in humanity?
*Can you tell me what a haberdashery is without looking it up?
*cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/17861584.jpg
I'm surprised no one's asked this yet.
*What end of the world-scenario would you prefer? Zombie apocalypse, nuclear war, the world's most intense stock market crash, or a secret fourth option?
Do you know anything, anything at all, about Italian politics, and if so, what are your opinions on it?
Alternatively, would you like a nice 400 word long paragraph ranting about Italian politics?
Considering the fact that what I'm studying right now-as in, actual data which I can trust-implies that hydrogen as a fuel alternative for the future is largely bullshit, what do you think the world will use as a fuel in the next 70 years?
(note; excluding any revolutionary new advances in the field, obviously).
Do you encrypt your notes? Please say yes
If you do, could you talk about encryption and stuff?
I fucking loathe "war & peace". Good or bad thing?
Write what you know or know what you write?
I have never written/posted ponyfiction. Mainly due to time constraints, or at least I tell myself that.
(ideas/concepts are cheap and plentiful; implementation..........................isn't.)
Anyway, I want to but I have a motivational wall + procrastination in front of me.
Could you advise?
If you do, my first fic will start: dedicated to Amit, may her penis be always turgid and his vagina always moist.
Did you read "The elegance of the hedgehog"? What did you think of it? Are you pleased or offended that I described it as "Like a novel written by stringing together Amit's blog posts"?
Your reactions to any major pop adventure stories: Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Ender's Game. Or Joseph Campbell. Contrast with War and Peace, Karl Knausgaard, Augusten Burroughs, or Proust. Thoughts on whether fiction as entertainment and adventure, and psychological fiction like the second list, are fundamentally different.
How come you write metafiction, but your favorites list is full of silly stuff?
Your thoughts on the French.
1070019 Do you still have faith in humanity?
memecrunch.com/meme/KZ5N/grumpy-cat-don-t-lose-faith/image.png
1070019
I abruptly became much smarter when I was thirteen, and left school because they were a bunch of dumb cunts. I can't say I've regretted the decision since.
There's no need for that kind of pessimism.
I've never once felt that any of my strengths laid in remembering facts insofar as they are in explaining them.
All that being said, I think it's a hat-making place?
Looks like I've got it wrong. Oh well.
Stock market crash. I'll buy that shit up.
1070103
Conservatives suck and poor people are stupid. Is this news?
Sure.
I'm a writer, not a futurist.
I'm going with petroleum.
I don't know what a 'note' is and I've got no idea how to encrypt them, so I'm afraid not.
I can't rate your dislikes because I am a simple person and have never read War and Peace.
I write people. I'm not sure if I know anything about people, but I'll be fucked if I don't try.
Open up Google Docs, look at the blank page and type an opener. If your idea is good and you're not dying, you should be able to push forwards from there.
In addition: you lucky cunt.
1070142
No; I suppose I'll pick it up later if I can. The shop I get my books from has a French section, for some reason.
I get tingly at any mention of myself, so I'm rather thrilled - after all, that implies my thoughts are worth publishing.
I couldn't read Lord of the Rings, Star Wars was dumb and I didn't watch any of it but I did read two books and the Encyclopaedia and I like Ender's Game and its series and I haven't read any of the others, presumably because they must be very boring.
They're words on paper and they've not incited a great deal of people to rise up and murder other people, so I suppose I can't say they're very different at all.
I am a simple person marked by simple tastes. I like giggles and tickles and little shaves.
I could go on on their awful exploitation-based economy and their rubbish union laws that ought to see the spoilt fucks bankrupt, but I can find a reason to hate everybody in the world for their own special reasons; I see no reason to pick specifically on the French.
In "getting laid", what was going through your mind in the luna chapter?
Btw, I have a list of things I will illustrate if I ever get really good at drawing... this has been added, how does it make you feel?
1070224
Couldn't have said it better m'self.
pretty much, yeah.
thoughts you write to yourself about things you're thinking. Or a diary, that works too.
Srsly? I mean, I'm...astonished.
You're the closest thing fimfiction has to an intellectual and I...don't repute myself as being a learned person in the literary arts.
For hell's sake, I'm studying a degree in the STEM department! (Science, technology, engineering, and I dunno what else).
Although I do try to pick up a classic every once in a while, so there's that....
In any case, you haven't missed anything important.
The fucking book introduces a new character every three pages, to give you an idea of why I repute it crap.
This also surprised me. But in that case, if you have a dearth of ideas for stories.....hell's bell's, I'll give you ten right off the bat by thinking on the spot; also if anyone need any ideas, any ideas at all, they can just PM me and I will provide.
1)Human in Equestria. Considering the genre is stale, heavily maligned for good reasons, and people say it's been done to death, finding a good nugget of story is trivially easy.
1)a Case in point: have the human be an actual physical famous person, such as Obama or Lady Gaga or what have you. To see an example of this done right, read "The best of possible worlds"
1)a)I : Hitler in Equestria.
Hear me out, and that's an order.
The ponies would get his side of the story first, and the "truth" would gradually leak out from several horrified realizations.
Him going apeshit over Celestia would be amusing.
His OC draws itself: red earth pony, black moustache, swastika cutie mark.
2)Rarity decides that her previous try at seducing royalty failed for two reasons: scope & ambition.
She asks Twilight how to possibly start courting Celestia or Luna.
2)a)High difficulty: at the same time, Twilight is smitten with Luna, because she is everything Celestia is without having to confront her massive teacher complex.
And don't forget Spike's role in this :-P
3)Discord introduces mass produced crystal balls to Equestria.
They work exactly like computers; hence, the internet.
From an obscure imageboard, a new draconequus is born...
4)Blueblood snags the Alicorn Amulet. Nothing particularly exciting occurs.
4)a) his cutie mark is a moral compass.
4)a)High Difficulty: and Celestia has been foisting onto him all the really hard to make decisions of the kingdom, leading to him having a lot of serious but diplomatically resolvable grievances.
AND he's been cultivating a friendship with Rarity by pretending to know her only as "Miss Belle". No relation to the shrew who attacked him at the Gala.
5) Octavia and Lyra shipped with anything other than Vinyl Scratch and Bon bon. I beg of you.
Please.
5)a) realistic romance stories are almost unknown on this site. Make it so that there is another one, with all the awkwardness romance implies.
6)The CMC realize that all the time they wound up covered in sap....was because the tree are sentient. And they like what they see....
6)a)At the end Applebloom gets a "botanical bukkake" cutie mark.
7)You know all those stories about "tyrant celestia" "daymare sun" "Corona" etc?
Well, they were half right....Celestia's alter ego is Daydream Sun...and she's turned almost five centuries ago.
Nobody has realized this.
Nobody could have realized this, due to the massive glamour permeating her every action.
She's insane (which explains all the crap she puts Twilight/the mane six through) and she occasionally orders guards to kill themselves and their loved ones when she's bored.
Which they do, with a smile on their faces, convinced that it is a good thing.
Luna has just realized this/found this out (Celestia may or may not have told her outright).
Now she has to decide what to do.
8)Reverse human in equestria: Lyra's a great fan of a series of Tom Clancy like novels (also Bourne whatever undertones), which is a bit frowned upon considering how dark it is.
She finds herself on Earth, where the characters are actual people (as in, Kim Jong Il as antagonist, Obama as princess of Earth, etc etc.).
8)a)the books are written with an equestrian viewpoint in mind, so blacks, asians, hispanic etc are described as the human "races", and more.
9) After Celestia banished Luna to the moon, Chrysalis swooped in and conquered the country.
Ponies live in free range "towns" where they are shepherded for their love.
They're told it's a symbiotic relationship; it's not, it's a police state.
And now Nightmare Moon is coming.
10) Crackle the dragon has fallen in love with Spike.
She realized this a couple of weeks after she saw him (due to her...biology).
She decides to make him a harem by kidnapping random being and offering them to him.
(also Steven Magnet is Spike's father, and Spike IS a dragon, but....a river dragon, not a flying one.
Shit, I forgot to put in a question.
Ummm.....
I forgot if you ever submitted stuff to EQD; did you? did it get in ?
And as can be deduced from this comment, I'm bleeding concepts and ideas here.
Anybody is welcome to ask for more, although seriously:
Restrictions breed creativity;
and thus, I have too many ideas.
Ask, and ye shall receive.
1070616
Giggles and careful comparison with this. A great few elements would never have made themselves in if not for that screen. The WWII metaphor arose organically.
I'm not particularly sure?
1070670
May I have a better quality, actually readable greentext plz?
1070642
No. I have a Google Docs filled with unnamed documents, but they're not encrypted. I'd write more essays on my thoughts, but I figure my followers don't want to bother reading my banal opinions and so I don't bother noting them down; the closest I have is trolling on reddit.
I'm waiting until I learn Russian.
I've actually written the introductory chapter to a story about a German tank commander in WWII appearing in Equestria and making friends with Fluttershy. I might finish that some time.
i.imgur.com/n7Sk6s9.png
That was a part of the second fic idea I ever had that I wrote a significant portion of; the other part was that MLP was just a supersimplification of Earth. It degraded into an MLP episode synopsis. Here's a fragment:
1070689
Holy shit, I copied the thumb instead of the picture. Here you go:
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMDkvMjEvMDVfNTVfNTJfNDY3XzEwMzIxOV9fVU5PUFRfX3R3aWxpZ2h0X3NwYXJrbGVfZXhwbGljaXRfZ3JpbWRhcmtfaHVtYW5fY3VtX3RleHRfaHVtYW5fb25fcG9ueV9hY3Rpb25fYW5hbF9yYXBlXzRjaGFuX3RlbnRhY2xlc190cmFuc2Zvcm1hdGlvbl9vcmFsX2dyZWVudGV4dF9zcGl0cm9hc3RfbWluZF9jb250cm9sX2ZldGlzaF9kZWVwdGhyb2F0X2V4dHJlbWVfbWluZCJdXQ/103219__twilight-sparkle_explicit_text_grimdark_human_cum_anal_human-on-pony-action_4chan_tentacles_rape_oral_transformation_spitroast_fetish_greentext_mind-control_triple-penetration_deep.png
also, this provided the inspiration for the mass-merge:
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMDkvMjEvMDVfMzBfNTBfOTc3XzEwMzE4OF9fVU5PUFRfX3R3aWxpZ2h0X3NwYXJrbGVfZXhwbGljaXRfc3Bpa2VfdGV4dF9yYXBlXzRjaGFuX3RyYW5zZm9ybWF0aW9uX2dyZWVudGV4dF9leHRyZW1lX2Fzc2ltaWxhdGlvbl9nbG9iYWxfcmFwZSJdXQ/103188__twilight-sparkle_explicit_spike_text_futa_4chan_rape_transformation_greentext_mind-control_mind-break_extreme_assimilation_global-rape_hive-queen_hivemind.png
1070642
Also,
I've gotten exactly one thing submitted to EqD. Notably, they rejected Solace; that was about the point I started looking at them less as 'publishers' and more 'free proofreaders'.
1070698
Great minds think alike, I see
Although yeah, there is the fact that there is no such thing as an original story.....but then again, whocares?
But then in that case I have to ask why you called me "a lucky cunt" when I said I have many ideas/concepts....haven't we just demonstrated that they're plentiful?
Or are you talking about ideas for stories which make you want to write them and are easy?
1070711
4chan... I should have fucking known. I shall have to visit it more often. Or at least blogs which catch all the good stuff.
1070740
Because good ideas are harder to find than bad ones.
Off-the-cuff idea: Jean Baudrillard goes to Equestria after his death and writes a social critique on pony society, re: nepotism and friendship.
See, that's a cool concept, but it's annoyingly difficult to build a story of it unless you've been struck by the inspiration that comes with it. That's why I'll spend five hours on a thousand words: every word must be worth saying.
Forgot to ask this before:
I think you mentioned in a comment that you frequent a couple of paedophiliac sites where everybody got weirded out by your age. No, wait, that came out wrong.
Sites by and for paedophiles.
There, that's much better.
Anyway, I was wondering if you could tell me how/where/in what way to reach those sites, for the primary reason that lurking them would be interesting and because the fact that some people have their dicks essentially telling them to break society's most profound laws is fascinating.
If there is the possibility of you or me getting in trouble with the law, though, it mayhap be a better idea not to say things.
Anyway anyway: what have you found by interacting on those sites, and what is your opinion of paedophiles?
Sunglasses!
Thoughts, ideas, which are best/good/worst?
1073032
1074752
Can't quite very well remember (you pedo), I could write a book about it, it's like every other unfulfilable fetish to sprout from man's mind and I have no clue.
Bam, single-sentenced.
1078442
......but what about the sunglasses?
1078490
I wear normal glasses.