the tale of lord barley corn short review (everything before chap 44) · 5:19pm Oct 31st, 2022
honestly i love this sotry really likes to flesh of the character and really give personality to jack? i think that was his name i forgot and the harvest family (?) i even like how carrot and the harvest family is secretly apart of the apple family and how they want to get outta its shadow really helps the story give depth and the added drama of that plus the town becoming a desolate ghost town make it a great read.
jacks personality is pretty good and him bullshitting through the story is pretty funny although he is wasted potential he pretty much is a background b character till i think a quarter into the story and even then isn't till the last 10 chapters does he really get any worth while screen time id eseaily give this story a 9/10 buttt......
honestly the whole spirit plot is what murder's the story for me if him being brought to equestria by the old spirits because nobody believes in them leading to them dying out they could use that last of the energy bringing him there causing him to inadvertently killing the old sprits but through his accidental bullshiteery him larping as a sprit of the fall actually creates enough cheer and spirit from ponies that he kind of wills new ones into being and they get one last message left over by the old sprits telling them that they are all that's left maybe with a few exceptions then they could scare jack into going 1000% in this Halloween festival to revive the town leading to him actually gaining the powers of the spirits and the court of fall and you could basically easily have a nice easy end to the story where after the town starts to thrive jack says hey why don't i just commit to this whole king of fall bit and he just travels the world bring festivity and cheer to the whole planet.
it could be some interesting way for the story to go and could have the spirit be a more nebulous thing allow you to have a more dues ex Machina story bits but instead sprits really don't exist and the fairy sprites are just celestia and luna kind of just barging in the story making the whole sprit thing fall flat and superstition that the town ponies have feel unnecessary to read about if them being the sprites and scaring jack calling him bluff to make sure he isn't yanking any ones legs feels dogshit ? idk them larping as nosey ass background ponies and then spirits just for shits and giggles is really stupid if you went that route though id suggest have discord (a actual spirit) come and goes "hey what he's doing seem fun and chaotic ill help jack with his bullshittery and also scare him into not backing out so i can have my fun"
could be great but after luna and celestia being a spirit imo its a 6/10
