"Dig harder, poniesssss!" A diamond dog hissed as he patrolled the crystal pits with his lash. "The Killasssss do not sleep. The Killas see all that you do and don'tttttt do! Only we will feed you and only if you work so workkkk!"
"When I return to Blue Slope from all of this I am shooting every friggin' dog I see," Josho grumbled as he heaved his massive drill around and rammed it into a chunk of crystal. As he began to prime the machine, he heard labored breathing. He threw a nervous glance to his side. "Come on, kid. You're making us look bad."
"I... c-can't help it..." Eagle Eye whimpered. He was flinging his pickaxe as hard as he could against the fragmentary walks of sapphiric ore, but he hardly made even a dent. His lavender face was pale and his brown drenched in sweat. "Just... so weak... th-these crystals..." He gulped. "I-I don't know what's in them..."
"Look, you'd better shape up!" Josho uttered, cranking the drill to life. A dull hum filled the crook of rock where they were surrounded by fellow, laboring slaves. "If they see you collapsing like a ragdoll..."
"Nnnngh..." Moaning, Eagle Eye slumped down to his forelimbs, dropping his pickaxe altogether.
Gritting his teeth, Josho glanced over his shoulder, then squatted down beside the younger stallion. "They're going to rip out your throat, kid," he whispered. "They're gonna kill you and toss your meat to their puppies."
"Why..." Eagle Eye stammered, writhing in dizziness. "...d-do you care?"
"Pfft. Believe me, I don't..."
"Then... j-just let it end..."
"What you going on about, kid?"
"It's all done with..." Eagle Eye wheezed, his eyes thin and glazed over. "The Blades Guild... Rainbow Dash... Belle and Pilate..." He gulped. "Crimson is gone. I... I can't ever return home. Not even my father will have me back..." He exhaled heavily, turning his head aside as if about to fall asleep. "Save yourself the trouble. I'm done with..."
"Dammit, you're a soldier, aren't you?" Josho frowned, his teeth showing. "So be a soldier and get up! I mean it! On your hooves!"
"It is finished..." Eagle Eye murmured.
Josho was about to protest louder when a whip slashed at his flank. "Augh!"
"What is going on here, pony?!" The canine jumped down, wearing a gas mask. His muffled voice hissed as he coiled the whip tighter and loomed over the two. "There is no resttttt if there is no digggg! Do you want to eat tonight?!"
"Look, just give him a friggin' moment!" Josho grumbled from behind his shoulder. "Can't you see he's sick?"
"Sick, you saaaaay? Dead ponies don't get sickkk." The dog took a deep breath, then slipped off his gas mask to reach for a whistle. He brought the brass instrument to his lips.
Josho glanced at the dog, then at Eagle Eye. He sighed long and hard before ultimately muttering, "Ohhhhhh screw this with a ten foot sausage and a side of grits." His horn glowed and Eagle Eye's entire body levitated.
The canine paused in whistling to do a double-take. "What...?!"
"This is what!" Josho spun and threw Eagle Eye at the dog's skull. The lavender unicorn's horn flew straight into the canine's neck, sticking in deep and spilling blood.
Eagle Eye woke instantly, gasping. Instinctually, he shot a burst of magic out of his horn.
The dog took the pulse of mana to his skull, and his eyes exploded in bloody fountains. When Josho floated Eagle Eye back, the dog fell back, clutching his face as his screams gargled on a copious vomit of blood.
Several slaves gasped, staring wide-eyed at the carnage. A few chuckled deliriously.
Eagle Eye stumbled on his haunches, shaking his head dizzily. He raised a hoof to the trickle of dog blood on his skull, then looked at Josho. "What d-did you do?" He looked down at the bloody, eyeless diamond dog and gasped. "What did I do?!"
"Congratulations, kid," Josho was in the middle of slamming his drill repeatedly into the wall. "You're officially a veterinarian." The machine broke apart, and the elder stallion slid the many sharp components out from its metal innards. "Send me the bill later."
A bullet ricocheted off the quarry wall just inches above their skulls. Slaves ducked as the two unicorns spun to look.
A canine overseer was reloading his gun while two of his lackeys ran down the craggy hillside with their whips. "You are dead meatttttt, ponies!"
"Back at ya, Fido!" Josho roared as he mashed the metal bits together with telekinesis and flung the wave of shrapnel back up at the dogs. "Haaaugh!"
The first two stumbled as their faces were sliced to ribbons. The gun-toting canine had a shard of metal fly into his paw. He fell back, shrieking in pain. Whistles sounded off and the air filled with loud barks.
"By the Spark!" Eagle Eye shrieked, wide-eyed. "Are you mad?!"
"Something like that."
"Wh-what do we do now?!"
"You kidding?!" Josho tugged Eagle Eye along with him as the two bounded uphill by their manacles' binding. "We gallop like hell!"
YOU GO, JOSHO! WHOOOOO!
Also, how do you pronounce "don'tttttt"? A really long t-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, or tuhtuhtuhtuhtuhtuh?
Told you guys they'd buddy up sooner rather than later.
Telekinesis to the rescue!
2330299 You know, I was wondering the same thing.
Why is everypony becoming so freakin' badass lately? I don't know, but I love it!
Well, that's... one way to do it. Generally, using other soldiers as a weapon is frowned upon, but you can't argue with the (explosive) results here. Now it's time for EE to get back on his hooves and be useful again.
"What we have here is failure to communicate"
Heh, now Josho is good enough for a Snickers advertisement. Good on ya, mate.
Assuming they'll show up in Aurum when Crimson is leaving or something. You're making this too easy, with all this wanton display of badassery, you. Lulling us into a false sense of security. Don't think we forget.
oh celestia! The gore! The delicious gore!
So does this mean EE is no longer a virgin?
Eagle Eye is best weapon.
GO FOR THE EYES EE! GO FOR THE EYES!
RAAAAAAASK!
oh yeah, didn't expect that to happen!
also...
2330299
LOL
If there's one thing we learned from Eljunbyro, it's that nobody's dead unless their head explodes.
That was awsome. Wolfsplosion! (Yeah I know their dogs...)
2331402 This.
It makes one wonder why all those Unicorns gathered together in one place didn't beat the Dogs up before. Then again, we still don't know just how many of them there are.
Apart from that it's just another day in Wonderland. Miraculous things happen, and people stare until their eyes pop out. Eagle Eye is now an official close combat weapon.
Go on and get em' Josho!
2331402
Pretty much.
This is Australia...
That is certainly one way to end an argument.
2330341 Rainbow Dash is rubbing off on them
That was brutal. Like, Dethklok-level brutal.
A Moment Of Clarity - Death
Eagle Eye is best exploding javelin.
Josho is best lunatic.
And just like that, Josho becomes one of my favourite characters.
why do you make all your main characters so damn likable?
Well, damn. There must be something in the air, because everyone's been taking a level in badass lately. Except Dash, who's been getting her ass kicked repeatedly instead - apparently only so much awesome can be present at a time, or else the universe would no doubt implode
Thank you for the lovely, ah, imagery.
I can't help but notice how things have evolved from the almost cartoon-ish violence of early Austraeoh to the more graphic stuff here. Not to say Austraeoh didn't have its moments (the dragon arc comes to mind) but this escalation is both epic and slightly gross. I like it. Well, I'm all caught up - until tomorrow!
Eagle Eye is best living weapon.
2330313 I think the term is called irony.
Bwahaha! That is hilarious!
2332854
It's the law of conservation of Awesomeness. Tis why only a few bad-asses can exist at one moment.
2332600
so he can kill them all off when you least expect it in order to make you cry
Stay back! He's got a unicorn and he's not afraid to use it!
Darn, that sounded better in my head. Oh well.
2335920
No, silly, that's George Martin.
2336775
WHY NED???? WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????? would say more but spoilers for those haven't read the books
2330299
Until IC comes down to tell us, the world may never know.
IIIIIt's Dashie's evaluation time!
So...um...that was...bloody. I suppose we get to see more of Josho's character, though. He's got a lot more stomach than I initially gave him credit for. After seeing this side of him, I wonder how mean of a soldier he would be if he stopped drinking and hopped on a treadmill...These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
Congratulations, EE. You are now a Stabby Stabby Boomer!
Gooooooo Josho! You can save them! Way to use EE to destroy the first canine.
-Spirit
I'm not sure how the hell that worked, but it did and was badass.
Jesus pls
2330313
>gay
>blasphemous
West Baptist Bureau pls
Dat Eagle Eye fatality. Relevant:
Way to use your head out there, Eagle Eye.
Just goes to show that anything can be a weapon, even the pointy end of a unicorn wielded by a second unicorn.
I wonder how Josho would do at wife-tossing...
He does seem to have a gift for it.
Taking the "stabby-stabby boomer" thing far too literally.
Also, jesuschristcolon.
I thought I was reading a story about cute fuzzy ponies, not Game of Thrones.
Well, sometimes crazy is the best way to go. It is not like they have anything to lose except their chains.
05/09/2017 22:24 UTC
EE: "You're mad...!"
Josho: "Good thing for that because if I wasn't, this may never work."
passed 7:23 p.m. MST June 10th, 2017
You know, on an unrelated note to this chapter, I was imagining what would happen if Luna visited searo.
I'm betting that if a metal mare came up and tried to punch her, heytwould soon find themselves in orbit.
Apparently Josho has moments of surprising competence so long as he's sober. Who knew?
8152114
reminds me of a VERY old Green Lantern Corp story:
"you must mad to face me again!"
"not mad, just good and angry."
Well looks like Josho grew a new Shell this time!