FWOOOOOSH!
The Noble Jury rocketed through a snowy blanket of fog. It emerged on the other side, soaring over jagged peaks covered in show and frost. The mountains shot out of the earth at precarious angles, like giant talons racking against the gray, wintry sky. There was nary a plateau of even rock to be found.
As the vessel slowed to a graceful glide, its glowing skystone crystal glinted off the nearby peaks, highlighting the gloss to the otherwise razor-sharp cliffs and promontories. Deep ravines lit up below, looming with sleepy crimson shadows. The engines of the craft echoed off the walls of every chasm, filling the air with eerie resonance.
Fl-Flash!
Rainbow exhaled, lowering her hoof from her pendant and stepping away from the now-glowing tome.
Cl-Clank! Props slapped the cage around the enchanted book shut and turned towards Rainbow with a smile. "Wowzers, Dashzers!" A bright grin between her ponytails. "If only every airship had a living, fuzz-battery like yousa! Heehee! I bet we could sail to the moon and back!"
"Yeah, well..." Rainbow exhaled as she trotted across the engine room. "At least the moon doesn't have the Grand Choke between here and there."
"Come on... the place can't be that bad!"
"Props, I've been traveling for a long time, and lemme tell you." Rainbow gulped. "I've heard stories..."
"Dashie..."
"What's so big about the 'Grand Choke' anyway?" Zaid yawned from where he reclined on a cot, fiddling with a wrench. "Sounds like a vacation getaway for David Canterdine."
Rainbow opened her mouth to say something—
Creeak! The hatch to the Navigation Room opened up, and Kera stuck her face in. "Uhhhhh... the elk told me to tell you that we're there."
"Already?" Rainbow blinked.
"What?" Kera smirked. "Surprised that some things in this world can fly as fast as you?"
"Your muzzle certainly does."
"Hardy har har." Kera motioned with her horn. "Better hop, skip, and jump upstairs."
"Right. Right."
"And... uh... grab something warm."
"Meh."
"H-hey!" Kera pouted as Rainbow trotted past her. "I own that!"
"Sure you do."
"Spit sucking glimmer smudge!" Floydien snarled, angrily slapping his hoof over the switch to the windshield wipers again and again and again and again and again. "Floydien has had it up to her with snow flakes sticking to Nancy's nips!"
"Whelp..." Rainbow grunted, struggling to slip on her leather jacket. "If I wasn't awake before, I am now." She leaned forward inside the cockpit, squinting over the elk's shoulders. "What's the problem?"
"If Paint Bucket Boomer must know, the problem is trying to find Nancy's destination in all this blight blight!" He pointed a cloven hoof at the serrated landscape slicing at the ship's bow from below. "There is no place to land!"
"Then don't land!" Rainbow said. "Just look for a village and let us out!"
"Who's us exactly?" Josho asked as he climbed up the vertical passage.
"Funny you mention that!" Rainbow grinned. "Because I just started taking volunteers!"
"Bull! Since when?!"
Rainbow smirked even harder. "Since two seconds ago."
"Mmmmfff... who died and made you Captain?"
"I did," Rainbow droned. "Twice."
"Heh. Well put."
"Wait..." Shivering, Eagle Eye climbed up. "Who died?"
"Hey, what luck, princess!" Josho tugged the unicorn up and dropped the stallion beside him. "Rainbow's taking volunteers! Looks like we're going out there with her!"
"Ah jeez..." Eagle Eye hugged himself with his forelimbs, teeth clattering. "G-going out where?!"
"There!" Rainbow pointed over Floydien's shoulder at a cluster of buildings hugging the edge of a tall peak. "Wow... just how in the heck did they build this thing way up high?!"
"Spit," Floydien muttered. "Lots and lots of frozen spit."
"You're obsessed."
"Yes yes yes."
"Hrmmm..." Josho's muzzle scrunched. "Doesn't look very navigable."
"We'd better not drop there if we can't see any solid hoofing." Rainbow rubbed her chin, scanning the area below. "Hmmmm... there." She pointed at a patch of snow-covered stone located southwest of the peak. "We'll hop off there and scale our way to the structure. Doesn't look all that hard."
"Yeah..." Eagle shuddered. "Says you, Miss Wings-and-Pendant."
"We'll be fine, Miss Purse-and-Horn," Rainbow retorted. "Just wear something warm and grab your trusty shield. We've handled bomb-tossing goblins. This should be a walk in the park. A little bit of a nippy walk, but still—a walk nonetheless."
"Yeah, well, at least the goblins' incendiary grenades have been warm."
"Yes... but..." Rainbow sun and stared at the unicorn with bright, glistening eyes. "Not as warm and nourishing... as our friendship."
"... ... ..." Eagle Eye glared. "You're full of it."
"Right up to the hilt." Smirking, Rainbow opened the door and trotted out onto the top deck. "I'll go first!" she shouted into the heavy winds.
"Gaaaaaaaaaugh!" Eagle Eye shivered, scrunching up against a console as flecks of snow pelted his coat. "Nnnngh... old stallion? Before this day is over, I might end up cutting your belly open and sleeping inside you."
"Wouldn't that be incestuous at this point?"
"Oh, great..." Eagle's muzzle turned pale. "Maybe I can warm myself with my own vomit."
"Whatever." Josho shrugged and crawled downstairs for his gear. "Shut up and go fetch your wooliest corset."
"Brbrrbbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrrr..."
Cl-Clank!
Roarke landed on the slab of icy rock beside Rainbow. Clad in her tight black armor, she stood up, squinting into the pelting breezes.
"Hmmmm..." Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. She turned towards Roarke. Vaporous breath exited her grinning muzzle. "Invigorating, isn't it?"
"Hrmffff..." Roarke jerked her neck, and her glossy black helmet folded shut around her skull. "Speak for yourself," the metal mare's voice crackled.
"What are you waiting for, boys?!" Rainbow shouted up to the floating Jury. "The water's fine!"
"Httt!" Eagle Eye hopped down, aiming his glide with a beam of violet telekinesis. He landed—then slipped. "Wh-whoah!"
Fl-Flash! Josho teleported beside him, steadying the petite stallion with a pulse of magic. "Seriously, with all the ballet you do—"
"Quit it!" Eagle hissed, then caught his breath. "Unnnngh..." He squirmed in his dark black coat. "I-I really should have had this thing pressed..."
"Okay, everypony, we're gonna do this carefully!" Rainbow flapped her wings and hovered above the group. She strained against the blistering winds as she shouted, "I'm going to fly a bit ahead to scout out the area! Josho, you take point for the rest of the group! Roarke will take up the rear! EE, you're in the middle!"
"Same old story, same old song and dance," Eagle sighed.
"Don't sing until we get to the bridge." Josho pumped his shotgun. "How far to the buildings, Captain, my Captain?"
"About two hundred meters! I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but let's do this slowly! It's not like we're in a race with anypony!"
"I don't even know what we're friggin' looking for."
"Changelings," Roarke said. "Presumably lots of them."
"Great, another arctic wasteland, another bug hunt. I'm detecting a pattern here."
"Yes," Roarke nodded. "In every situation, you're always complaining."
"Words to live by from the world's smartest fire hydrant."
"Say... uh..." Eagle Eye squirmed, his shield rattling across his shivering flank. "What if there's an avalanche?"
Josho grumbled, "Just be sure to snap my neck before you draw and quarter my flank into a pot roast."
"Cute. Can we go marching into the obvious trap, now?"
"After me!" Rainbow said, zipping ahead.
Through the portholes along the mess hall, several Jurists watched the four ponies trudge up the uneven mountain pass.
"By the Spark..." Bellesmith shook her head in awe. "They are truly the bravest among us."
"I still don't see why Eagle and Josho had to go," Booster Spice remarked, adjusting his goggles. "Couldn't Roarke and Rainbow handle this on their own?"
"Just because those two mares carry the team doesn't mean they have to carry the team," Zaid said. "Y'know what I mean, dude?"
"Mr. Zaid, I've been with this group for two month, and I hardly ever know what you mean."
"That's how we know you fit in!"
"Are they making much progress, beloved?" Pilate asked.
"It's hard to say," Belle said. "They're having to endure such grueling elements, freezing to the bone and battling hypothermia." Her nostrils flared. "You know, it's times like these where we can stand back and look at ourselves at pride. Even in the harshest of environments, we tackle the greatest challenges head-on, even in the complete absence of luxury."
"I know, right?" Ebon trotted up wtih a steaming tray full of mugs. "Hot cocoa, anypony?"
"Yes. Please." Belle, Booster, Zaid, and Pilate all grabbed a cup and sipped heartily.
Rainbow gritted her teeth, pushing her way bravely against an inclement blizzard. She paused to hover and squint ahead. Fifteen minutes into the trek, and they were barely a quarter of the way to their destination.
"I hate to be the first pony to spout this, but—" Eagle began.
"Then don't!" Roarke hissed.
"—are we there yet?"
"Unnnnnnngh..." Roarke helmet-hoofed. "Searon spare me... once a breeder, always a breeder."
"In all seriousness, color wheel!" Josho shouted against the wind, steadying himself and Eagle Eye with a fatherly hoof. "Did the wind just pick up, or is it just me?!"
"You're not imagining it!" Rainbow exclaimed. "This is some of the most unpredictable weather I've seen! I think it's got something to do with just how freaky these mountains are shaped! It's making the wind go nuts at random!"
"Then do we fall back?!"
"Not on your life! We came this far; we gotta see what's in those buildings—"
"One hundred meters ahead and closing," Roarke suddenly droned.
"H-huh?!" Rainbow's voice cracked.
Josho leaned in. "Just what is 'one hundred meters and closing,' Queen McVagueTongue?"
"A heat signature," Roarke muttered, her helmet flickering a bright red. "It's descending from the peaks ahead of us, getting warmer by the second."
"But... but..." Rainbow squinted. "I don't see—"
"I do!" Eagle Eye pointed. "Coming this way! And fast!"
"Don't have to tell me twice," Josho grumbled, whipping out his shotgun.
"No, wait!" Eagle Eye steadied the stallion. "No need for that!"
"The hell do you know?!"
"Trust me!"
All four Jurists waited, quiet and tense.
Before them, a gray figure could be seen—hopping and hopping from mountain peak to mountain peak. It bounded closer at an alarming rate, its fuzzy body flouncing with each bounce.
"What..." Rainbow Dash gnashed her teeth against the blizzard's winds. "...the heck?"
At last, a tall-tall quadruped with shaggy hair landed right in front of them. Piping hot hydraulic leg-riggings hissed steam along his fetlocks, melting some of the ice around his dark hooves. Snow clung to his eggshell white wool as he raised a pair of goggles above and smiled with droopy lips.
"Hi there!" He grinned, twitching. "I'm Winree!"
The four jurists blinked at him, then at each other.
"It's a llama name!" he said, twitching again. Then, with an icy breath, he leaned forward. "My God, you all look tasty..."
All four flinched. Eagle Eye unsheathed his mechanical sword—
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Winree leaned back, wheezed, and grinned again. "Get it?! It's a llama joke! Y'know... for llamas!"
The four relaxed with a cold shudder.
"We are not llamas," Roarke's voice crackled.
"God, I'd hope not! Cuz if I woke up every morning looking any less beautiful, I'd throw myself off a cliff! Then eat myself! HA! That was another joke!" Winree slapped the mountain with his hoof. "Hehehehehe—guahhhhh—But seriously. Lemme extend a warm llama welcome to you all!"
"Jee, that's... uhm..." Eagle fidgeted.
"You've got nothing to worry about!" Winree grinned twitchingly. "This high up, spit freezes!"
"That must suck," Josho said.
"Naw, mostly it just sticks to the fur. HA! Boy, I'm on a roll. You must forgive me! The only new faces we ever see around here are the ones we accidentally make in the cesspool!"
"We had no idea," Roarke droned.
"Uhm..." Eagle stepped forward. "Who exactly is 'we?'"
"Me and my buddies!" Winree spun and pointed at the mountainous village. "Up there in Ether Point!"
"Ether Point?" Eagle Eye remarked.
"Lemme guess," Josho droned. "A llama name."
Winree gasped. "How'd you know?!"
"What are you doing up here?"
"Who, we? We're studying the Aurora Borealis!"
"Wow, you're scientists or something?"
"Pretty much!"
"What have you discovered about the Aurora Borealis!"
"It's bright!" Winree said with a grin.
The group stared in silence.
"Also, sometimes pretty!" Winree shrugged. "But hey! Who's counting?! Besides us?!" He twitched. "Every night!" He twitched again. "For months at a t-time!"
"Ahem..." Rainbow Dash hovered lower. "Say, Winree, we were wondering if you ran into—"
"Wh-whoah ho ho!" The llama spun with forelimbs waving. "What are you doing out of your cage?!"
Rainbow Dash blinked. "...buh?"
"Now now... we talked about this, you silly goose..." Winree waved a disciplinary hoof at her while smirking. "Your and your sisters, always flying the coop. You want a share of the nibbles tonight or not?!"
"I... have no friggin' clue what you're going on about."
"Now she catches up," Josho groaned.
Roarke trotted forward. "Have you... seen this mare before?"
"Pfft! Who hasn't?!" Winree rolled his eyes and chuckled. "They basically blot out the sky!"
"'They?'"
"Which, at night, is something of a heavenly respite, but... heh heh heh heh..." Winree spun towards Rainbow again. "Wherever you found that jacket, I suggest you put it back, young lady."
"I believe you're mistaken, you see—she's—"
Rainbow flew in front of Roarke, grinning. "I'm sorry, Winree!" she exclaimed in a girlish tone. "But, I got so excited flying around in this weather, I got lost!" She fluttered her eyelashes. "Would you be kind enough to help me back to Ether Point?"
"Why, I thought you'd never ask!" Winree turned, grinning, towards the rest. "How would you like to come along?! We'd love to have some company up in the research camp!"
"Yeah, I bet you would," Josho said.
"Come on! It'll be fun!" The llama smiled. "We've got sticks!"
Eagle Eye bit his lip.
"I think you'd better lead the way, Winree!" Rainbow Dash chirped.
"Yupperooni!" Winree slapped his goggles back on and spun about. "Just follow me and try not to burst into a bloody mess against the rocks below! Hahahaha—but seriously, though, hop this way." Ch-CHTUNG! His hydraulic braces sent him flying in a curved arc. The llama landed with a thud on a distant peak, fired away again, and propelled himself towards another cliff. In such a swift fashion, he bounced his way expertly back to base.
"I swear, I've lived too long," Josho wheezed. "Life's running out of sane shit to throw at me."
"Let's just play along, guys," Rainbow said. "I think there's a special reason why he recognizes me."
"I don't know what you're cooking, Rainbow," Roarke said. "But it better not smell ike pony."
"Don't worry." Rainbow Dash flew on ahead as she the led the group after Winree's hopping-stones. "If worse comes to worse, I'll be the first to headbutt."
"But you're always the first to headbutt."
"Shut up."
At last, the group scaled the last cliff. Before them stood Ether Point, most prominently a building made out of metal shingles that covered a cave carved into the tallest peak. Icicles and permafrost clung to the buildingface. Winree was waiting, as were three other llamas huddled around a burning oil drum.
"Hey! You made it!" Winree chirped, smiling at the four as they limped across the frosted distance. "And in four pieces, too!" He nudged the llama beside him. "Too bad for your appetite, huh?! Hahahaha—but seriously, glad none of you got eviscerated on the rocks."
"Your sincerity is most gratifying," Roarke slurred.
Rainbow shushed her and landed on soft legs. "So... uhm... where's this cage that I belong to?"
"You're looking at it!" Winree spun and pointed towards the giant building. "The supply hut! Where we keep our provisions! Wow, you and your sisters really don't have much of an appetite, do ya? Not that I'm complaining—what with us down to the least flavored rations and all. But hey! Heheheh... who doesn't like bread and water... and m-more bread?"
"Uhhhh—"
"OH!" Winree gasped, grinning wider. "I forgot to introduce you to my study buddies!" He trotted past the other three llamas, laying a hoof on their shivering shoulders, one at a time. "This is Sam! This is also Sam! And this here is Dave!" He grinned, twitching. "Together, they are all Sam."
"But..." Eagle pointed, teeth clattering. "I thought you said his name was—"
"A girl is going right into a grass region!" Dave stammered, his neck jerking as he drooled. "Rnnngh! Some oranges hate killing art hats that ordain anarchy!"
"As I said." Winree grinned and grinned. "They are all Sam."
"Erm..." Eagle stood nervously behind Josho. "I-I see..."
"Say, Winree..." Rainbow Dash glanced over. "...Sam." She smiled. "Any chance we could step inside?"
"But you're already inside!" Winree said, smiling. "Most of you, that is! Heehee!"
"Well, I wanna... uh... complete the circle, so to speak!" Rainbow's eyes thinned. "After all, I gotta return this jacket to the supply hut."
"Totally roonily!" Winree hopped over to the metal doors. "Where is my mind?! Way out, in the water, see it spitting! HA! That one's an oldie... y'know... as old llama jokes go..."
"Just let us take a peak inside, Winree, and you can tell us all the llama jokes you want."
"Oooh, you mean it?! That's fuzztastical!" Winree giggled lightly. "Cuz the aurora certainly doesn't listen to me, and Sam is kind of... nnngh..." He shoved the metal door open with a loud scraping noise. "...surly th-these days!"
A bright warm light shone across Rainbow's figure. "Well, count yourself lucky that we..." She stepped inside, only to stumble to a stop. "...came here." Her muzzle dropped.
Dozens upon dozens of voices cracked from inside the torch-lit supply building.
"Whoah, awesome! It's me again!"
"Awesome!"
"Awesome!"
"Awesome!"
"Cool!"
"Awesome!"
Roarke trotted up beside Rainbow Dash, her glossy helmet reflecting nearly a hundred pairs of ruby eyes. "Hmmm... all things considered, this was a great deal more rewarding than I anticipated."
Rainbow grimaced. "You've got to be friggin' kidding me..."
Winree stuck his woolie head in. "Go on and put the jacket down anywhere! Just don't roll over it while wrestling with yourself like you always do! Hah hah hah! That's a new llama joke..."
When I saw Appledashery update, I started refreshing this until chapter 8 appeared.
I hope I can finish my homework in time.
Woah, that's morbid, me.
I like the llamas.
Oh boy these are going to be a bunch of fun guys, that's for sure. I wonder if they are stuck like that or if they just like that form.
MY TIME HAS COME.
In other news, this place is all way too cray.
How many Rainbow Dashes does it take to get to the end of the world?
Anyway, uh, crazy changelings? yay.
Good and Sweet Celestia and Luna, a whole bloody flock of Rainbow Dashes.
........What
Llamas. .......whhhaaaaat. I'm not sure this guy is all that sane. Neither are the RD clones.
Sure, Roarke. Sure.
I...uhhh...think we found the changelings...
I'm honestly not sure weather to be amused or spooked by llama-boy here...
Rainbow Christ died for your sins...and for Harmony.
Welp, there it goes.
Forgot an "l" there.
[PhilKenSebben]HA! HA! Eye candy![/PhilKenSebben]
Llamas with cabin fever, this has to end well. It could, we don't ever know how these stories end up going. Keep and eye out on Sam, but Sam is pretty chill.
...why do they all have red eyes instead of Pink?
The scene of all pinkies shouting fun pops into mind.
5043384
If something is not exactly cheating, then it's not exactly being faithful either, right?
5043418
Oh, Yrfox.
If it's any consolation, you'll always live in our hearts.
We met EE and Roarke in you, after all.
Roarke's reaction.
But yeah, we found our changelings. Why, exactly, they've taken Rainbow's form is anyone's guess at this point, but still. And then we add a handful of Jack Nicholson'd llamas into the mix, 'cuz why not? This oughta be interesting.
Okay, woooowwwww.
I can see that Roarke's secret dream of sleeping in a pile of Rainbow Dashes is coming to fruition.
Psh, these goats don't know the first thing about trigonometry
And now Josho's Hicks then.
Winree sounds fun though.
Savatage - Hall Of The Mountain King
This has been Swan Song's Sexually Shifted Shipping Summary.
5041052
I wouldn't call half a year "recent". More like "ancient".
5041088 5041163
Hey, look on the bright side. At least you're more of a butt than Zaid ever dared to be.
5040938 5043465
I'd do more alright, if you know what I mean.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw10469-1386580974328.gif
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy.
Let's hope "throwing a Donner Party" isn't a llama joke too.
I SO TOTALLY JUST UNDERSTOOD THIS CHAPTER! OMFG, ROFL.
it took me like ten minutes but i finally understood.
Roarke suddenly has a deep and endless appreciation for changelings. Damn Pixies...
5043503
Recent. Ancient.
In two or three more books, who will even remember?
...what?
*continues reading*
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edit
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5043331
Crazy changelings and Crazy Winree + 3 'Sams' =
5043331
Congratulations!
Look at it this way: the Noble Jury doesn't have to worry about Rainbow Dash dying anymore.
I'll just be grabbing my protective gear...
...and none of it's going to matter.
OK, this is going to be interesting. Crazy Llama fun times, and the changelings have all latched onto Rainbow Dash's image.
Snublock! It's a Llama name.
R-right?
Winree seems to be like a Super Trampoline, very bouncy.
5043481 since they're changelings, I hardly think they'd mind the affection.
Hmm. It is my extremely experienced clinical diagnosis, That I have no idea what the hell is going on right now.
ALL HAIL SEARON.
I wonder what llama gods are like.
Wat.
Why is my mind screaming "Run damnit run!" Also it is screaming Windego!
Warp drive secure Keptain.
Oh My.
Facinating.
Yaaay, snowball fight.
I got the hot cocoa, anyone got the marshmallow?
Unhand me you ruffian.
You know, we shouldve expected this. Its a single floor building, so of course high in the lonely mountains of ice and snow, we find a lama in the mono story.
Intresting how the llama has come equipped for, bracing, weather.
So, the llamas didnt know they were being used to set up a supply depot of changeling drones for the invasions of Val Roa, by whatever machinations Chrysalis was using inside the city, as someone on power, maybe even ruler? Can we take it Val Roa is the City of Llamas? If so, are they Winry, Zaid, Sam, or Dave? (Im afraid I cant do that Dave. Why? theyre all dead Dave.)
Quick EE, you have to run accross the flock?
PFUDOR.
This will be hard to explain. I commend you IC for taking the hard and obscure way out!
So the changelings got stuck in Dashmode!
5043334 Close enough, cheese blaster.
5043384
5043455
5044341 It would be an AJ wet dream/nightmare, doncha think?
quickmeme.com/img/b6/b6fa664f080469e924a920a50b3da6678e5c05c0e8711a1ca86d6fe5cc2282a6.jpg
Well, welcome to Cloud Cuckoo Land.
5044413
U just w0t, m8. ...now I feel hungry for some reason.
I also can't help but notice them going on about spit, too. I wonder if there will be a connection between Floydien and them. I always knew he was my soul sibling! I always knew he was close to my people! Ahahaha! AHAHAHA!
5043268 5043384 And look at this! 24 hours ago you thought that I was irrelevant! You thought that I was mad! Well who's mad now!? My llama arma, eh, army will devour you all! You will beg to have the chaos dragon back! Rise, my llamas! Rrrrrrrise!
(Oh yeah, and have I mentioned that I'm totally claiming control of those guys? Finally someone else who understands the fine cuisine.)
5044603
I'm sorry, do I know you?
Chapter 9: Iridescent Orgy, The Lascivious Daydream Of a Metal Mare
I suck
So that's what's in her suit?
I'm getting a godawful feeling about this place. We should leave. Soon. Bad things will happen.
there is something wrong with these llamas, and I don't think the changelings know they are changelings
My mind is full of "what the hell" right now. Friggin insane llamas...this can only end well.
There's no way 200 7-12 word chapter titles will exist.
For the sake of your sanity, and ours, you should go back from 6 to 1 as Austreoh's journey reaches its conclusion.
5044843
Wendigos
5045071
I think that's the plan.
Who are these "Rain-no Dashes" we meet.. Changelings maybe?
Also did I spot a Star Wars refernce there with suggesting to cut Josho open and sleep in him?
Roarke be like theloop.ca/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/51394-George-Takei-oh-my-gif-fXlS.gif
Sam...