“She was invited. She declined.” Princess Celestia explained, “She called it, 'pointless'.”
“I see.”
For crying out loud. After all that work and she just..
Sighing, I then nodded, “Well, It's up to her I guess. Sorry for bothering you, Princess. It's just... with all the work to get Changelings integrated into society, even positions in the Royal Guard... It seems like such a waste to miss such an opportunity.”
“Well, aren't you turning into quite the politician.” Celestia commented, eating a forkful of her slice of cake.
“Now, now, there is no need for insults, Princess.” I grumbled and crossed my frontlegs in front of me on the overly thick alicorn sized pillow, “I'm just looking out for a friend.”
That got a chuckle from the large white alicorn, “I didn't realize you considered Queen Chrysalis a friend.”
“Bah, not her. I tolerate Chrysalis. It is my guard, Skitter, I think of as a friend.”
“Ah, I see.”
Putting my teacup down, I floated the fork to try the cake for myself before I smiled, “Now that is good. Did the castle kitchens make it?”
“Indeed. They are quite good, aren't they. There are few ponies that can match them in that...and none of those are interested in permanent employment.”
The rumors about Celestia's love for cake? Not quite true. Not even an Alicorn's metabolism would be able to handle that without making her as big as her celestial body(HAH!).
No, she went for quality not quantity.
And some quality it was. It was certainly the best cake I had ever eaten for sure. Of course, back on earth I didn't exactly had an habit to frequent restaurants where you could have found something of this quality, but still.
It was amazingly good.
“So what do you think about the Princess Summit?" Celestia then asked with a smile, “Excited?”
They were going to hold a meeting in the Crystal Empire. As far as I understood, it was a mix of 'hang out' and a 'this is how you Princess properly' course for Twilight and Cadance.
I nodded, “I am. I'm really looking forward to seeing more of Equestria. I have been here for quite a while now and all I've seen is basically Canterlot. This does seem like a good point to get started at that. I plan to do some traveling for a month or two when we get back, see more of the country.”
“What does my sister think of that?”
I shrugged and put my cup of tea down, “She is encouraging it, even if she will be sad to see me go. Honestly... I think I would rather stay here with her, but I think this is something I need to do.”
Celestia nodded, smiling gently, “Any idea where you will be going?”
“Not yet. There are some things I want to see. Manehattan for sure. The Everfree Forest as well. From what I heard, it will be the two places that will remind me of earth the most. I'll likely stop by Ponyville to visit Twilight as well. Clouddale if I can swing it. I almost have the cloud walking spell down, I should be able to do it reliably by the time I get there.”
“You should be careful in the Everfree Forest.” she cautioned me, “There are worse things than wild animals in there. Hydras, Chimeras, Timberwolves... and worse still.”
I nodded and had another piece of my slice of cake. Oh yeah. Honestly, the Everfree Forest sounded like it belonged in DnD more than Earth.
But it was the one place in Equestria where the weather handled itself, where the animals managed their own business.
I had to go there.
“I know.” I answered, “So all the books say. But I plan to stay close to the edge and Skitter and I are more than capable of defending ourselves.”
“So I have seen. I have observed you and my sister's sessions at times. I'm impressed.”
I raised a eyebrow at her with a small smirk, “Oh really?”
Celestia looked at me before she blinked and her cheeks turned a faint red, “Not that! Your magic and combat training!”
Gotcha!
It was so rare to be able to get one over on either of the Princesses. It always felt so good whenever I managed it.
“I think I'm doing okay.”
“I would say you are, especially for somepony that until three years ago had never touched magic. My sister always looks satisfied at the end.”
I shot the alicorn a wary look.
Celestia looked as serene as always as she sipped her tea with a small smile.
Sighing, I shook my head and let it go instead focusing on my cake. I really should have known better than to play wordgames with an immortal by now. Especially one that spent the last eon involved in politics and running a country.
Resistance was indeed futile. But that doesn't mean I won't put up a fight. If anything Celestia enjoyed it, as far as I know nobody else talks back to her like this. Everyone seems to treat her almost as some kind of goddess. Justifiably so, they might not be called that, but they basically were. But even so that had to get old after a while.
“I like to think I make a good showing even if Luna is mostly on top of things.” I countered, “She does have a couple of thousand years of experience on me but I think I'm learning. You are likely the only pony alive with more experience than she has, Princess.”
“Oh, I don't know about that. Very few ponies can keep up with us so we usually end up practicing together. I think we are about equal in experience.”
I just stared at her, “...We are talking about combat magic, right?”
Celestia just smiled one of her serene smiles, “Of course. What else could it be?” and took a fork full of cake before licking the cream of her lips.
...Well played.
Well played indeed.
Oh god that ending, my sides. Well played Tia, well played.
Oh god the PUNS THE PUNS. Its a miracle that such concentration of PUNS and double meanings haven't summoned PINKIE PIE....
He missed a perfectly good chance to make a threesome joke.
...what a great way to end a conversation!
Is there a way to facepalm the facepalm with a third facepalm?
So the Princess Summit, the setup for the Mirror Portal shenanigans?
Wordplay is very punny
6883992
Incorporate the foot
6883984
My thoughts exactly!
6884002 In which they may ask Page for help, or he'll hear about it afterwards and get all pissy about not being able to go. Even if it's not the same world, it would be a nice experience, having hands again.
6884018
Isn't that just a kick in the face?
6884048
Meh, depends how hard you do it.
By the same logic a face palm is just a slap in the face as well
6884048 considering the punny punniness that are the puns in this chapter...(you know open mouth insert foot)
All they need is a good punishment.
6884090
oh you know this story cant not have puns, its the puns that make this so punny.
6884059
great now all I'm thinking about now is being slapped in the face with a foot
6883992 Sadly, I think that requires three arms.
Does this mean Page is going on a world tour and we gets to go too?
Page, if you're going to take on Celestia, you might want to ally yourself with DisQord...he's probably the only being more "experienced" than
Mole--er--Trollest--uh--her!-->Called it
(Pointless moment of pointless pride about pointless things. It was very pointless.)
6884185
It's a catastrofeet
Oh he has the perfect opportunity right there! if only he hasn't ask that question and instead would tell her "I know, Luna told me, it was a different time back them, and you usually work with one another as a way of stress relief, by any chance did you manage to improve?"
"Improved?"
"Well Luna say that even when your execution was flawless your performance, was…what was the word she used? oh yes, sloppy, sometime even clumsy"
You surrendered too quickly. Talk about how it limbers you up, gets you into positions you didn't realize were possible and always gives the explosive finish you crave. No shame, man, no shame.
6884352
The puns, they are afoot.
indeed.
6884389
This conversation probably needs to be padded out more
He should have asked for a three-way. Or at least getting to watch.
6884449
Insinuated, It would break the theme to just ask outright, would it not? At least for the first part.
6883984
Only if they have a resurrection spell handy because no mortal would survive.
And if he did, he would be forever spoiled since no moral mare could ever hope to compare.
6884002 yup Being an ex-human they might ask him to go with Twilight as a guide should be interesting.
6884686 If he survived that would be worthy of Alicorn ascension. Long live Page! Prince of the three-way!
playing the word game with Celestia that can be tiring at best.
6884039
Up until the point where Twilight makes a Star Wars reference and discovers that Page pagerized the story idea, even if he ponified it.
Huh, stopped reading for a while. Didn't think there was anymore direction to this story.
Oh, that was hilarious.
And now I want to see Page go through the mirror portal and help Twilight survive in the "human" world.
6886662 that would be interesting...
...
6883984 I was personally hoping he'd make a quip about wanting to watch the next time. The guy folded too early.
6893477 Poor guy ran out of material. Or we just don't get to see it. Sad though, all those subtle sex jokes gone to waste. A tragic of great proportion.
6884195
Paging Zaphod Beeblebrox…
Masterfully played, Celestia. I do enjoy a bit of innuendo once in a while, and this certainly fulfilled my wishes.
Yes.
All hail Celestia! Princess of Dirty Innuendos!
I was so glad to see 'nobody' and 'everyone' in Page's mental dialogue. The vernacular in his speech had me concerned, so I am glad he still uses the ambiguous terms mentally.
7579882 The embodiment of hawt.
... Magic Mirror time soon? Blank is gonna be pissed when he finds out about the Portal
E-Equestria Girls? Is that you?
8065554
Ikr!!!
Wow. This story really DOES have enough slice of life to make an entire cake!
6884352
Indeed, I wonder how anypony managed to pull off such a feat. And they did it at the foot of the mountain, no less! I guess you just need to take it one step at a time. I wish to follow in that pony's foot steps. And other foot-puns. Sadly, that's all I got.
7579882
You know, somehow your royal-looking avatar makes that post even funnier.
6883979
nah, she was sitting under the table eating the cake when Sunbutt the Sun Tyrant wasn't looking. she is one of the ones Sunbutt mentioned.
6883992
Here's with one arm:
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/698/489/2f7.png
Or if you're Discord:
i.imgur.com/V8RwYEG_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium
That's one Triple Facepalm for everyday of the week in one go.