“You know… you looked much smaller on your profile picture,” Celestia mentioned. She giggled nervously, taking an awkward sip from her wine glass. Coughing, she fanned herself with a napkin. “And redder, too.”
Optimus Prime shrugged, delicately picking up his menu. He was seated awkwardly, practically leaning over crosslegged just so he wouldn’t destroy the table or ceiling where they sat. “Appearances can be deceiving. There’s always more than meets the eye.”
Celestia nodded, taking another few gulps from what was her third glass of wine that evening. “Sorry that I’m a bit on edge tonight, Mr. Prime. I’ve never… well, dated a robot before.”
“I prefer the term Autobot or Cybertronian, if you don’t mind,” Optimus said, reaching down and daintily picking up his cup of motor oil. After downing it in one sip, Optimus twiddled his thumbs. “So, Celestia, tell me about yourself.”
“Oh, I’m nothing special. Just another pony princess in a kingdom filled with them,” Celestia said, chuckling lightly. “We get the odd villain or disaster here and there, but overall it’s relatively peaceful. What about you, Mr. Prime? How goes leading your rob—er, Autobot... people?”
Optimus shrugged, the robotic titan’s gaze going off into the distance. “Oh, it’s a struggle alright, but a worthy one. My people have lost their homeworld, many friends, and most of what they cherished, all because of a destructive civil war that split our planet in two. It hasn’t always been easy, and more than one time all hope seemed lost, but we pulled through like we always do. It’s only when I fight for my friends and fellow soldiers that I find the strength to make it through each day.”
“Wow… that’s… that’s amazing,” Celestia said, her eyes filled with awe at the staggering visage of her date. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to live through such turmoil on such a daily basis.”
Sighing, Optimus said, “Sometimes I can’t either. Like I said, it isn’t easy, but as long as I have hope for a better future for the Autobots, I fight on.” He turned his attention to Celestia, those brilliantly shining blue eyes of his captivating her soul. “Just as you do for your people, Celestia. Our struggles may not be the same, but within both of us are great leaders who will do whatever it takes to defend justice and what they stand for.”
At that moment, Celestia couldn’t help but blush. Everything was perfect. Heck, she didn’t even mind he was a robot or Autobot or whatever. So far, he was the most captivating and perfect immortal she had met thus far on the site.
Of course, it had to be ruined.
The ceiling exploded, drywall and bits of the roof falling everywhere as the restaurant filled with smoke and dust. Another giant being of metal and might fell into the restaurant, already making a grab at Optimus.
“So, Prime, this is where I find you?” Megatron jeered, the Decepticon lead commander lifting his arch-rival up by the neck with one hand. Contrasting Optimus’ blue and red were Megatron’s dark purple and puke green colors, which gave the Transformer a sinister appearance. That, and the giant laser cannon attached to his arm, the muzzle currently pointed at Optimus’ face. “On a date with this insignificant lower life-form? Ha, it’d be expected someone as foolish as you would have romantic relations with such vermin!”
Optimus barely managed to get out of the cannonfire from Megatron’s blaster by punching his arm. The shot caused a section of the floor close to Celestia to ignite in a fiery blaze. Landing another blow against Megatron’s chest plate, Optimus asked, “How did you even find us here, Megatron?”
Megatron backed up a few steps, smiling slyly as he trained his cannon on Optimus. Pointing with his other hand at Celestia, he said, “That one!”
“Who, me?” Celestia asked.
“No, the stupid one behind you!”
Looking over her shoulder, Celestia groaned. “Oh, for the love of…”
“Heya there, sunny buns!” Deadpool said. This time he wore a bowtie with his usual spandex attire, holding out a box of chocolates and flowers to Celestia. “I thought I’d bring along some gifts for our date tonight!”
“Deadpool, we are not dating!” Celestia hissed under her breath. “Besides, tonight I’m with Optimus, not you! We went on one date, and you stood me up for most of the night!”
Glancing over Celestia’s shoulder, Deadpool whistled. “Well, looks like your current date is too busy beating the snot out of his boyfriend.”
Turning to where Deadpool was staring, Celestia saw the incredibly embarrassing spectacle of Optimus and Megatron punching and throwing each other around the restaurant, completely decimating the place.
“Optimus, can you please stop fighting Megatron so we can continue our date?” Celestia called out.
Optimus shoved Megatron off himself and then followed by pile-driving his foe’s face into the floor repeatedly. Stopping for a moment, he shouted, “I’m a bit busy right now! Call me!” Optimus returned to introducing Megatron’s face to the floor over and over and over again.
Celestia sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Great! Even when they’re not married, there’s someone else stealing me away from them!”
“There’s always me,” Deadpool reminded her, smiling cheerfully beneath his mask.
Staring at Deadpool, then back to the box of chocolates and flowers in his hands, then back at Deadpool again, Celestia sighed. Snatching the box of chocolates to withdraw a sugary treat from within, she said, “We’re going to the movies and watch something cheesy and filled with explosions. You’ll buy me as much candy as I can eat. Understood?”
Deadpool stretched out his bowtie and nodded. “Ooh, can we make out as well?”
“Only if you can sneak this in with us,” Celestia said, levitating him a wine bottle that had somehow survived falling on the floor.
As Celestia departed another restaurant she had inadvertently helped destroy, Deadpool hobbled close behind with an awkward jump in his step.
“Sure do hope they have sanitation wipes at the movie theater!”
Huh... I wasn't expecting Deadpool to show up.
You could have just stayed and watch Opty and Megatron fight if you wanted that.
4144098
He's recurring now.
4144098 You never expect Deadpool.
So that Optimum and Megatron out of the way since I doubt Tia will be dating Megatron after this, and Daedpool's back, I'm still waiting for Captain Jack Harkness
I love your interpretation of Tia.
Hey, someone is paying attention to me!
For the love of all that is holy, DO THE EMPERAH! He, of course, brings along his unending legions of followers.
4144108 that's the only thing predictable about Deadpool, he's unpredictable.
4144163 Exactly.
4144110
What about the BW Megatron?
I totally expected this :3
Deadpool for the Win!
how about lrrr from the planet omicron persie 8? he is immortal
OOH! OOH! You should do Alduin! Because why not?
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4144107 You really like him, don't you Bob?
I honestly came into this thinking it would be the Doctor.
Despite it not being him, it was still fun to read.
Do the Doctor? Please?
The immortal and near-all-powerful Q!
He brings flowers for one Perins Ceritia!
i would think the Emperor of Mankind and Celestia would oddly get on fine, both would do anything to see their people survive, thrive and be protected, in a way the Big E would be the logical extreme of what Celestia could become in order to keep her ponies safe, even if they don't hit it off in a romantic sense, he could still teach her a few things, pass along his wisdom so she doesn't make the same mistakes he did
Well shit I kinda hope Deadpool gets some.
Has Wolverine been done?
4144302 That's Discord.
Destruction of the Endless from the Sandman comics. Or Lucifer from the same.
The first is an immortal that wants more from life then just duty with a big and jolly personality. The other is a competent devil played straigth.
I agree. Captan Jack should be next. Maybe followed by Guilty Sparks? Just a random thought.
Well, how about Spongebob? (I know he's immortal because that show will be funny forever, and in order to be funny forever he'll need to be alive forever.)
How about Eragon, and the joke could be Saphira trying to eat Celestia the whole date?
what about shadow from sonic she pick someone cute and he only come up her chest and spend the whole time moping about hi sad live
Morgan Freeman?
I really want to see Captain Jack Harkness.
Oh Deadpool, you so crazy.
I've got three suggestions war from darksiders, kratos from god of war and James heller from prototype 2
Oh! Oh! And chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris
Siri
Tupac
We all know this must happen, if only because it's cliche...
Yay! Deadpool's back! Funny that Optimus had to call off their date because of Megatron. Something tells me that Deadpool is going to make all her dates terrible and somehow worse than when she dated him.
The amount of win in this chapter is unconscionable.
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4144105 Well she is kind of trying to cope with the stress of failing miserably to find a half satisfactory suitor, so the whole point of her going with Deadpool is most likely just to forget about this fiasco more than anything since it doesn't seem that Celestia is too interested in Deadpool, at least not for now.
~Leonzilla
Wolverine, that character you play as from God of War video game, Face of Boe.
Please.
Well you know who I want to see?
"Arceus"
Just the mere concept of the two gods dating makes me squeal in ecstasy for the anticipation.
I think it would be something entertaining as buck.
~Leonzillla
I'll just leave this here...
fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/233/9/1/superman_logo_by_superman3d-d47bdj6.png
That is all thank you.
4144610
You mean Kratos?
Why would you want him? I mean clearly Spawn is a much more entertaining option.
Leonzilla
4144652
And Lex Luther is gonna show up.
this thing is just amazing. Look... im not gonna lie here. The most laughs i got on this website so far.
4144387
Nope. It's Q.
Q is like Discord, but from an alternate reality.
Same actor though....
That's what would make it funny. Especially if a certain God of Chaos got miffed about there being another all-powerful pan dimensional being that happens to like to introduce some chaos into things and decides to put a stop to it. (nudge nudge, wink wink, author!)
Forget jack Harkness I want the Face of Bo
y u no alucard?
Dracula.
Ostrava from Dark Souls (I know that he is a phantom , but he still can interact with living beings)
Merlin
The Doctor
Jack Sparrow
4144836
The Q Collective is Pandimensional to my memory. Which would mean that Discord IS Q, just how Q appears in this dimension.
__
GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND. COME ON, WE'RE BEGGING YOU.
4144954
Ah, but Q may not have even visited the Equestrian dimension, since they have a different pan-dimensionality than does some other pan-dimensional creatures.
Q's Pan-dimensionality is more along the lines of moving between the first and tenth dimension, and between subspace ans realspace, as opposed to slipping into the alternate realities(which are sometimes reffered to as dimensions). As such, it is more likely Discord is a form of Q, or even the sum of a Q-continuum- like consciousness, that is found only in the Equestrian reality.
4144915
They are the same guy... also he (SPOILERS) ends up dieing so I don't think he's be a good candidate.
If you are going to have The God Emperor, don't forget His bodyguards and companions.
And yes, this is canon.
4144107 Excellent! Can't have a good story without Deadpool! (Has a story with him as well)
Also, it's fun to read Optimus' lines in Peter Cullen's voice
Oh please please please please please do Wolverine. Considering the fact that he's already almost two centuries old, we can assume that he is virtually immortal