Authors note: Hello, just a quick note, this is random, remeber that. RANDOM, so just sit back and relax, enjoy a cup of tea from your monkey butler, fill in a dad's army crossword and smother it with jam, all while inmersing your self in the literary version of a LSD mixed with crack. Also my weekends are werid and yes it is Pinkamena. Remeber?
T'was a warm day in Hamburg and Kaiser Wilhelm the 2nd (or Will as his friends called him) had just returned from a long day of listening to proposals from investers wanting money and Generals wanting war to his stately home. After giving a servent his coat and removing his boots, he withdrew to his private quarters and activated his personal computor that had a link to the 21st century, though for some reason all the History sites were blocked, alwell, at least he could get his daily fix of his new hobby, ponies. The Kaiser had always like using the- I was about to finsh that line when I was interrupted by a familiar voice coming from behind me. "Are you really going to use that as a story?" I swiveled around in my chair to see who it was and to my suprise, I saw Pinkamena layed on my bed staring directly at me. "I mean you can't be serious, injecting yourself into the story, please that is way over done." I continued to stare, amazed at what my eyes where telling me was happening. She noticed this and stared back at me. "Take a picture, it will last longer." "I.. Wha... but... your Pink... Pinkamena." "Very good, you want a medal captian obvious." She said while slowly clapping her hooves. "But... But your not real, you can't be real, I must be going mad again." Of course I'm real, wait what do you mean again? "Well, I used to see you appear but they were just visions, I mean you couldn't interact with anything and could read my thoughts so it must have been my imagination." After I told her his a grin formed on her face and soon she was suppressing a chuckle. "You're kidding, you're kidding right? You can't belive that." "I don't get what you mean." At this piont she gave up trying to supress it and burst into laughter. "Whats so funny?" "You... You thought that was you? You idiot, that was me. How did you think I got here? "Random 4th wall breaking?" "Please I don't have the energy for that, unlike the other me. I still haven't found out how she does that." "But aren't you just the sad side of Pinkies personality?" As I finished this sentance, I realised my mistake as I was knocked out of my seat by a blur of pink. Looking up I saw Pinkamena above me, staring down, her legs pinning me to the floor "I AM NOT HER!". "O... ok, could you please get off me? You're kinda crushing my arms." "Not untill you say sorry." "Okay, okay, I'm sorry, now will you please get off me?" To me good fortune she relased her grasp and allowed me to return to upright postion. "Well, that was weird, why are you here, anyway?" Pinkamena let out a yawn, before asking: "You really want to know?" I automatically replied. "Yes." Later I would come to regret that. "Well to tell you the truth, I'm bored, there's only so many times you can be chased out of town for been evil before it gets repetitive." I shrugged my shoulders. "I can see how that could get dull, but I must ask, you did you choose me, out of all the people in the world, why me?" "Well lets see, your Aspergic and that changed brain structure helps with the travel,unlike most of this fandom, you realise that I'm not the one in cupcakes and those stockpiles of hate and anger are quite tasty." "I knew you weren't the one in cupcakes." "I know right, why does every one always thinks its me, that make me feel really sad inside. Noticing that she was begining to tear up I reach down and gave her a hug. Pinkamena looked at me thankfull and yet at the same time annoyed. "What are you doing?" "Giving you a hug, you looked like you needed one." "Okay, but don't do it again, I don't like hugs". "Good piont, now what?" Pinkamena responded by walking over to my tv screen and phasing her hoof through it while at the same time pulling me close by grabbing hold of my arm. "Now, now You come with me." As I was pulled into my TV a thought passed through my mind. 'Did someone spike my tea?' Before I could ponder this futher I felt myself blacking out as my head entered the now permeable TV screen. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Enjoy, I know I did, it was a crazy weekend. Yep it was. Anyway, bye I've got to go fight a walruss made of cheese riding a camel wearing a fez while been chased by Pinkamena riddding a gaint bee. Good day.
Authors Note:Well first, thank for the yays. Except for you pear,we don't like you kind here, on a side note you know who does like pears? Gaint Bees. Alwell, she wasn't that angry about been throw off. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THAT. Woops, gotta run, enjoy this next bit, if I stay alive long enough to write it that is. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I had been having the weirdist dream, I had been kidnapped by Pinkamena and dragged into my TV, I mean honestly what are the chances of that ever happening? I let out of yawn and opened by eyes to see Pinkamena looking down at me. this led to two things first: My brain: So it did happen. and secondly, what My mouth did: "Arrgh, what the... how, what, why, where, when?" Pinkamena stared at me blankly for a few seconds before realising what was happening. "You thought his was a dream, right?" I slowely nodded my head in agreement. "I suppose I should have expected as much, you humans are quite logical, usually expect for the whole belief thing, but thats another fics problem. Anyway, welcome back to the land of the conscious, what did you say your name was?" I looked at her in shock for a few seconds before finally stuttering out my name. "Wil... William." I looked around at my surroundings and asked."Where are we?" Pinkamena brought her fore-hoof to her chin. "I'm not sure, I was try to bring you back to my home universe but this isn't it. I guess you need to be conscious for me to use that rift in your head. "Wait a second, what rift? How is there a rift in my head?" "Did I not explain that before, must have forgotten" "Forgot what?, what the hell is going on here." "Well your autistic, right? Once again I nodded my head in agreement. Well that extra nerve cell connections within the frontal lobe, plus the creativity and years of hate are made in essence a gaint gunpowder barrel, waiting to explode and ponies were the spark. What this all led up to was a tiny,minute tear in the fabric of space time inside your head." Pinkamena smiled as she finished her explanation, well until she saw the look on my face. I was staring at her with a look of horror. "What? Do I have something on my face? "There's a rift in my head? A rift in TIME AND SPACE in my head?" Despite my obvious panic she just quickly dissmissed my fears with a wave of her hoof. "Pttf, It's only a small one, only ideas and thoughts can get through. By now I was ready to pull my hair out in frustration."Then how, in the name of all things holy did you get here? "Which part of Pinkamena did you forget? Seriously please do try to keep up." Giving her a stare of doom, I dust my self off and rose to my feet and got a proper look at my surrondings, which was pretty piontless seeing as there was nothing else here expect an few robot creatures and talking dustbins in the distance but apart from that it was just a gaint endless void. After completing my survey of this strange new land I turned to Pinkamena and asked "So... how to we get out of here?" "I have no idea." I could belive it, this pony, this thing had dragged me from my home and trapped me in a void, I could feel the red mist decending when I heard her shout. Woop, I did it, go Pinkamena, it's your birthday." Puzzled I was about to ask her what she was so happy about when I saw a woodern door that had not been there, when I had check the area only moments ago. "Sweet holy baby monkey Jesus, where did that come from?" "From me, durr." "But I thought you didn't have the power to do something like this?" "Well, I didn't but that hate, WOW, I mean, wow, that was the most energy I've ever felt in my whole life." "Okay... Now what?" "Durr, we explore silly, come on." Before I could protest, she was through the door like a flash. I facepalmed. "I'm going to regret this aren't I?", Then with a sigh I stepped through the doorframe into a blinding light, that pierced my eyelids. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Few made it,wait is that the? Sweet Monkey Jesus made of ice cream, no, nnnooooooooooooooo!
Authors note:Sorry everybody or pony or whatever the you things are,I'm taking over this chapter, why? Becasue the Author went in suffering from an awfull case of Shouldn't have angered ME., anyway I thought I'd tell you my side of the story. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ So there I was hidding in a tree outside of ponyville after been chased out for been evil, once again when I saw this Goldern shimmer in the air infront of me, been the inquisitive pony that I am I decided to poke it with my hoof to see what would happen, at first it didn't do much but then there was this blinding flash of light and I felt different, I looked down and my hooves were all see-through, like a ghost. At first I thought that I was a ghost, but then I got sad becuase you have to be dead to be a ghost but then I noticed that I wasn't in the tree anymore, I wasn't anywhere near ponyville, I was in a room with a woodern floor and there was a hairless monkey staring at a shiny screen near by so I tried to greet him with a 'Hello but he just started screaming then there was a flash of light and I was back in the tree, it was a it was a doozy alright. Now at the time I thought it was just a bad dream from that wierd suger I had found in one of the cupboards in suger cube corner, but then I noticed that although I was in a tree it wasn't the same one, in fact after a bit of scouting I realised that I was in another version of Ponyville and happy bounced into town. But the Shimmers kept happening and after each encounter I ended up in a different version of ponyville, some were good, some were bad and some were full of chibis,(they were so Cute.), anyway I digress or do I, I'm note sure and you know what ryhmes with sure? More, and thats what you'll get. So after this occured about 167 times I decied to she if I could control it, I mean all the other Pinkie's I saw could. So one day when I was the shimmer I concentrated really hard and the next thing I know I'm on a soft bed in that hairless monkeys room but this time I'm not all ghostly. As well as noticing this I notice what he's writing, a story about somepony called Wilhelm the 2nd but when I check at the top of the page I noticed that that was his username, 'self-insertion', out of all the things I had seen I knew that his was the most evil, so I told him that and this time he didn't scream, he listened for once but then he ruined it by been a dodo and saying that I was just a sad version of Pinkie pie, I am nothing like her and thus had to correct him. After he apologized to me he did something really wierd, he hugged me,me the unloved crazy pony who every one makes fun of, I was so thankful I just had to show him my home; but when I tried to take him there he blacked out and the portal failed and we ended up in the void-space between the walls of the universes, I had a friend who tried to tell me about the void before but it sounded all mubo-jumboey to me. After sitting around forever the silly ape woke up and started shouting when I told him where we were and when he did I felt something that I had never felt before, a massive surge of pure energy rushed up filled my entire body, sending a tingle down my spiney-winie and I thought about a door out of here and poof it appeared. The most logical thing to do would have been to leave it alone but what fun is there in making sense? None. So I opened the door and jumped into the strange new world, the ape (william I think his name was), following behind. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Well thats all folks, tune in next time for more Pinkamena. What are you doing to my story? Opps gotta fly.
Authors notes: Sorry about the delay, but it hard to write when your arm is BROKEN IN 12 PLACES, why the hell did you do that Pinkamena?, I get that you didn't like falling off the gaint bee but breaking my arm, really?, and then writing a chapter and misspelling suger, for-shame. Enough of that though, I'm better know, so here's the story, and how did I fix my arm so quickly? Magic. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ As I stepped through the magical doorway, my fragile and oh too human eyes were overwhelmed by the blinding light that filled the doorway, temporary destorying my vision for a what was a few seconds, but to me it seemed like several hours passed before my vision was returned by whatever deity deciedes such things, that or my eyes had recovered from the shock of having a bright light shone into them.
One of the first things I noticed when my sight finally decided to return was that there was a pink blog directly infront of me, where I had expected Pinkamena, so I dutiefully called out for her only to hear a: "I'm in front of you silly." come from the pink ball of fluff infront of me.
"Pinkamena, what the Blazzes happened to you?" As I asked this Pinkamena turned around to face me revealing a cute and tiny face. "I'm a Chibi." "A what now?" I asked while doing a double take, my moustache bouncing around. "Durgh, Didn't anypony ever teach you anything?" "Well its anybody and not about art, no." Upon hearing his Pinkamena let out a gasp: "Well that won't do, here let me enlighten you? Suddenly the world was plunged into darkness expect for a single spotlight on Pinkamena. Music begins to play. "Now, Wilhelm, my dear, I cannot express my delight It's abundantly clear That somewhere out here Is the knowlegde that will suit you just right" "What the devil is going on, and where is the Music coming from? "Just wait and I'll tell you, but first let me set a few rules It's of utmost importance That the words you say Are something that's awesome and cool"
"Awesome, cool, if think I get it." "I have so many vocals, just wait, you will see. But you'll need something real fast like a train to keep up with me." "Okay How about like this? Its the fastest I can speak." "Really, slowely? Are you even listening?" Music cuts out. And lights return to normal. "You know what buck the song" "But I liked the song." A Chibi is an art form where characters are drawn as tiny cute balls with tiny, winny arms. "But why are you one?" "You are too, silly." I looked down and noticed that I was indeed a chibi. "But with these tiny arms how will I twiddle my glorious moustache? MY GLORIOUS MOUSTACHE!, DEAR GOD WHY???" I then did what any gentleman would do when unable to twiddle his moustache, I weeped for a few seconds over the cruelty of such an Moustache depriving act, well untill a smack to the face by Pinkamena brought me back to my senses. "You okay now?" "Ya, I'm over it now, but I do have von question, how do we move with out legs?." "Well thats easy silly, you just roll." Pinkamena then promptly rolled over to me and pushed me over, causing me to roll down the hill that we were upon. "Wait, what, argh." I tried to prevent her from causing such an action but due to the short length of my arms I was unable. Luckily, I managed not to scrape my face off and came to a stop at the bottom of the hill infront of what seemed to be Pinkamena. "Dam and blast it my dear, how in Gods name did you get down her so fast?" I enquired, expecting an response about some random facts that only pink ponies knew about, when I was instead I was presented with quite a shock. For when the Chibi infront of me turned around I could quite clearly see that it wasn't my companion Pinkamena but instead a weird body of half Pinkamena and half moustached gentlepony with a pipe. We don't use the Lords name in vain around here stranger. The creatures voice was a mixture of oxford professor, lord of chaos and well, Pinkie pie. After a few seconds of counfusion (probaly due to my tumble down a hillside.) I recognised the creature, it was datdamnface. "Datdamnface my good sir, what the devil are you doing here?" "What do you mean, this is fanfiction, well the universe the server is based in anyway." "Wait, so were inside Fimfiction?... Makes sense." Suddenly a high pitched wail riped though the sky. "Where are you dear? You forgot about MY BIRTHDAY CAKE!" "Is this bad?" "Nah, it'll pass, who brought you hear by the way?" "Pinamena." The colour drained out of Datdamnface's face. The then lifted a pair of sunglasses that had appeared on his face. "Mother of god." He then turned to face me and said one word. "RUN!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Thats all for now folks, see you next time I go mad.
Authors note: Audience what are you doing reading this fic thats precarious, argh words you know what I think of words and books and people using my lines, Steven edit me out. Awww no more Tobuscus, allwell I've got a story to tell. But first you'll need, A SAFTEY TORCH!!! sigh if only I had 50 bucks. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ After a few minutes of desperate rolling we had entered what seemed to be a culdesac, with a seris of houses, large and small each perched on small hills, the nearist seemed small and modest compared to the flare and size of the others but it was the nearist so we quickly rolled through the open doorway. "Quick, block the doorway." ordered Datdamnface while waving his ting arms about wildly. "With what? What could possible stop her?" "That..."Datdamnface dramatically pionted towards a near by ebony wood table, in a way not unsimilar to America from Hetalia: Axis powers."...table its so awsome it couldn't fail." "Well I doubt that, maybe it might buy us some time, help me push it." Datdamnface and I mange to push the upturned table to the doorway, blocking it off from all attackers. "Few that was hard work." I tried to wipe my brow but couldn't due to my tiny arms,so instead I raised them as high as I could and shook my fist at the sky. "Dinkleberg!" "Who?" Asked a confused Datdamnface. "I have no idea." "Meh, makes sense, anyway this is a barracide that shall last for a THOUSAND years."Proclaimed Datdamface mear seconds before it was destoryed by a blur of pink. "Arrghh"! "Arrrghh"! We both screamed in unision, expecting our days to be short and painfull, luckly we had no need to worry, for this blur of pink was not a vengeful Pinkie pie, instead it was a confused Pinkamena. "What are you two doing?, I looked everywhere for you." Asked an annoyed Pinkamena. "You I can't open any portals without your hate, your tasty sweet hate." Pinkamena began to stare into the distance while her mouth watered. "Pinkamena!" I shouted. "This is no time to think about feeding off my negitive emotions, we're been chased by a enraged Pinkie Pie." This causes her to snap back to realitly. "Meh, its probaly nothing, who's your friend, he reminds me of... well me, but the moustache reminds me of you, did you do something when we knocked out by the portal jump, because I am not paying child support. " "What... wait no, sweet Holy chocalte monkey Jesus riding a unicycle, no!" As I was bellowing this at her I felt my face turning green. "Why would you even... I going to be sick." I rushed out of a nearby door and out onto a balcony and promtly puked my guts up. Meanwhile. "So who are you?" "I am THE GREATEST FANFIC WRITER THE WORLD HAS EVER BEEN BLESSED TO SEE, but you can call me Datdamnface." "You remind be of somepony, but who? Pinkamena began to ponder this before my voice ripped through the air like a fart through a lift. "Datdamnface, Pinkamena, come her you have got to see this." "Shall we?" "Ladies first." "Oh, you."Pinkamena blushed before heading onto the balcony to see what the fuss was about. What I did while this was happening. After throwing up about 7 metric tones of sick, I noticed something else on the balcony, a teloscope, look through it I could see, Spiderman? in school? I backed away from the Teloscope."Well that was werid." I then turned around to be faced by a gaint white portaly blob and thus shouted for Datdamnface and Pinkamena to come see, once they arived I went to touch the portal with my tiny chibi arms untill Datdamnface rolled infront of me. "Sajsasdbajd." "What?" "I said Sajsasdbajd." "I thought as much, now how about english?" "Allright, killjoy. It's a portal to the internet." "Well thats great isn't it we can just jump through and be away from here." "In that maze of crackfilled madness?, we would never get back here." Suddenly the entire house was rocked by a deafening cry. "Hiding with your cupcakes bitch, I'll force feed you, your own balls for that." I looked Datdamnface in his eyes and stated. "Were fucked." Not exactly, we could THROW THE CHEESE! Datdamface pionted over to a pile of cheese crumbs. My cheese,my wonderfull edan cheese, CURSE YOU MULTIVERSE! At that very moment the door way into the house erupted into millions of tiny spliters as a demonic Pinkie Pie walked in. "Ow, shit." "You broke a Pinkie Promise, YOUR FLESH IS MINE." "Pinkamena hel-" I noticed a pink blur rolling down the street. "Well I'm done for." No. "What?" "Your not, I'll stop her." "How, she would never give up, she'd keep finding us." "Not if I get her throught the portal." "But that's suicide, you'd never make it back, I'll deal with her." I turned around expecting to be faced with the wrath of the Suger God but instead I was met with the grassy ground below, looking up I saw Datdamnface glaring at Pinkiepie. "You don't have to do this." I cried. "There are other ways." Then he looked at me, with thoose eyes, the same eyes that normally seemed so crazy, now seemed so aged and wise. "It's to late for me, get out of here roll away, but promise me this Kaiser Wilhelm, have a great life, you've earned it, now roll. I looked this brave hero in the eyes and to the best of my abilty gave him a salute and rolled away, tears rolling down my small round face, soaking my beaton and battered moustache and as I rolled I heared a sound that I would never forget, the sound of valor, the sound of hero's: Leeroy Jenkins!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In loving memory of Datdamnface ?-?, he will be missed. Authors note: No new updates for a while, I'm got a holiday for a week with no internet.
Authors note: I'm back baby, Q play the music, I've got a tale to tell, now to GLORY! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I kept rolling down the hill, not once looking back becasue I dare not ,out of shame, how could I have let his happen? I was stuck inside Fimfiction, as a blob, my Guide and ticket home had abandoned me, and the only other person that could have helped me is dead or worse.
I was so lost in thought that I failed to notice that I had rolling into, what seemed to be a shop, whose shelves were lined with multiple copies of one book, which was titled: Why you should become insane. Reading the strange title for this book, brought back long buired memories that melting like snow under the sun as I tried to reach out for them, suddenly my train of thought was broked by the sound of a door been opened nearby, a quick glance showed that it wasn't the entrance and there was only one other door, but it's handle was at shoulder height... for a human, for a chibi it was impossible, which made me wonder who would build it here?
My questions were soon answered by the clink of the door knob as it turned to reveal a small Humaniod Chibi.
The Chibi in question turned around to speak to something behind the door. "Thank you, mister Discord, for helping me get over my fear of nakiedness is the western world." The Chibi then bowed before marching out of the shop, jumped into a tiny Biplane and flew off. I stared open mouthed at what had just occured and thus didn't notice the god of choas, that was untill he tried to fiddle with my moustache, when I then procceded to bit him, casuing him to widthdraw his paw, howling in pain. "What in the name of space Wonna is wrong with you?" He bellowed while nursing his injured paw. "You were messing with my moustache." I replied glaring at him. Discord began to glare back, then broke into a smile. "Say, you don't we step into my office? Well in your case float." "But I'm no-" I looked around and noticed that I was infact floating through the air, surrounded by a grey arua and was trailing behind Discord into a rather smart and well kept office, where I was put down of the main table. "Well what do you think?" Asked Discord, his face only inches away from mine. "It's... nice." I stuttered, slightly afraid of the insane god infront of me. "I am not INSANE. Roared Discord. "Besides even if I was, who's to say thats it's bad. "But I didn't say that you were ins-" I was cut off by Discord silancing me with his eagles claw. "No but you thought it." He stated with a playfull smile. "I thought that even one/pony/thing knew that." "No, not really." Discord face fell, no it literally fell of this head and melted into the table, rearraging to form this face directly below me. "Well enough about me, you what to know where your friend is?" I nodded rapidly. "She's in the town center." And with that Discord clicked his fingers and I was gone, teleported outside the shop, and into a pile of hay. Spitting the pieces out of my mouth, I let out another groan, it would take eons to fix my moustache. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back inside the shop. Discord reformed his face to his head and open a filling cupboard. "You can come out now, my dear. And the from the darkness Pinkamena approached and gave Discord a kiss on the snout. "Thanks." Was all she said before shooting off into the distance. Discord on the over hand stayed rigid, before a smile crossed his face. "I love these ponies." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Thanks all for now, or not, I don't know. Good day.
Authors note: Sweet holy chocolate woona riding a unicycle there's more? Yep. Also random question: Why does the insane one get more views than this Lesson. that I wrote, sure the name is now differnet, I've put why and it's one I put effort in. Readers, ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After spending a considerable amount of time, trying in vain to fix my once grand moustache, (a task made even harder by the blasted Chibi arms) I rolled off towards the town center, which was only a short trip away and thus was reached in no time at all but alas there was no Pinkamena, instead there was a veiled litter that was been carried by around 80 other chibis. As I watched the silhouette of a unicorn chibi, lowed its head and seemed to be whispering orders at the chibis supporting it, and 2 chibis broke off and raced towards me.
"Erm... Hello?" I muttered nervously. The two chibis stared at me with cold dead eyes before ordering as one, in a monotone voice. "You will follow us." I tried to back away, untill I bumped into something, turning around I saw it was yet another of the Chibis from the main group. ""We are Writing Gold. Lower your skills and surrender your works. We will add your writing style and distinctiveness to our own. Your followers will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile." At this piont the two chibis in front of me grabbed me and lifted me up and then procced to carry me towards a gaint woodern house.
As we approached the wooden doors swung open, to reveal a network of tunnels and officeblocks, the later been what I was tossed into.
"You have been scanned and designated forum creator, you will create forums to increase membership." The two brutes then left, shutting the door behind them, trapping me in a locked office room, with a computer, a keybaord designed for chibis and a pack of shortbread, that looked delicious but I knew they would further ruin my moustache, so I refrained my eating them, and decieded that I might as well start work on creating some forums. But what to start with? I rubbed my chin, I had it. I started to type out Chimi cherry or cherry changa? , I then started on another, Pony Priests. and then another. 'This is easy' I thought to myself as I happily typed away. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1 hour later "LET ME OUT, sweet baby jesus, i can't take anymore, let me out!!" I screamed, while smashing my tiny fists into the door. My efforts were rewarded as the door opened and one of the dead eyed chibis from ealier rolled into the room.
"What is the meaning of this noise, why is this unit not performing its function? Its metalic voice echoing through the confinds of the room."
"But I've made 40 threads, surely thats enough?" I pleaded with the brute.
"NEGATIVE"
Thinking quickly I sprouted. "But the computers broken". The Guard moved in to look. ""This unit is ful-" He was interputted by me smashing myself into him, sending him into the computer and causing it to shoot out sparks. I quickly rolled out of the office and down the hall, untill I came upon a veiled room with the silhouettes of 5 chibis clearly visable.
The first one to speak looked like the one from ealier, a fact confirmed when he began what seemed to be a meeting. The veil was to thick to hear what they were saying, but it was clear that one of the other chibis disagreed, waving his tiny arms around and pionting at the other memebers, that was untill he fell through the floor to be replaced with another Chibi that fell out of the ceiling, by now I knew I had to leave.
Looking around I saw no doors, but there was a gaint window, but before I could act a, voice spoke form the heavens.
I stared at the tiny Dash before I decied 'what the hay' and jumped out of the window, expecting my body to be filled with agony at any second so imagine my surprise when instead I started to bounce down the street, directly into a pile of hay. I let out a groan. "I am going to murder Pinkamena." I then noticed the tiny Dash, flying down to meet me, and thus I faced palmed. "You mean I could have flown down?" The tiny dash just stared at me. I groaned again, this was going to be a long day. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ That's todays done, go visit Writing Gold, its a nice place, if thats okay with you. Good day. .
Authors notes: "Hello once again audience, I claim this fic in the name of Buscus." "Oh no you don't." "Sweet holy seabiscuit." Sorry about that, but were back, thats good, I hope, or not? Who cares? To hell if I know. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I was rolling across the town square, trying to find my bearings, the tiny dash hadn't been any help, she just kept looking at me with thoose gaint eyes, hhhrgggghhh, My heart.
"You better not die." Pinkamena, it's my turn to tell the story." "Pfff, not a chance it's mine." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ So you whant to know what happened, no? Well nuts to you.
I was with Datdamnface and Wilhelm when suddenly I heard the roar of an angry Pinkie, but not just any Pinkie, Datdamnface's Pinkie, have you heard what she did to the last Pinkamena she met, there was no wasy I was risking that, so I ran, or rolled, or is it ran, or did I bounce? It's one of them. Anyway I ended up inside his shop and guess who was there? Nope not chuck testa, My best Friend EVER, Discord, and guess what? He made me some chocolate rain, it was BRILLANT! But then there was this crash and he said that Wilhelm was here and I was like 'Arrgh' becasue he'd be angry so I hid it his cupboard and then Discord was reallt, really nice and tricked him so I gave him a kiss on the snout and ran off to find I new hiding place."
"Enough, back to me!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ As I was saying, I was rolling around town trying to find out where Pinkamena was when I saw a chibi that looked like Ditzy Doo with sunglasses on upside down, who was sweating rapidly. I rolled over and coughed to get his attention. "Don't kill me" Screamed the Chibi. I slaped him in the face. "Calm down man, and whats your name?" ""Ultrasponge." Whimpered the Chibi. "Okay, have you seen Pinkamena anywhere?" At this his eye's took on a new vigor, as is a fire had been lit in his soul. "I'll never tell!" Screamed the Chibi as he trashed around in my grip. I let out a sigh. "I didn't want to do this but you leave me no choice, Rainbow." The tiny Pegus looked at me. "Look at him." I said pionting at Ultrasponge. Who promtly laughed. "Hahahaha, thats to rich, but yet... so cute, but I'll still never tell." He then made to punch me in the face but to his horror found that his arm had turned to jelly. "What the buck? For the love of god call her off." He shrieked as his body slowely turned into jelly. "Where is Pinkamena?" "She went towards the happy fic's, now please turn it off." Begged the now 70% jelly, Chibi. "No." "Wait, what? You basta-" Ultrasponge was cut off my his mouth turning to jelly as did the rest off his structure before he slooshed into a puddle which Rainbow then began to drink, small sips at first but in no time at all the jelly that was once Ultrasponge was gone, well for a couple of hours at-least.
I looked around and found the nearest sign post which stated that it was 5 Fics towards the happy section, following the direction that the sign was pionting we found ourselfs at what seemed to be a train station, that had a carraige marked 'Happy', I bounced towards it before been stopped by a guard Chibi, who stated: "No pets allowed." While pionting at Rainbow, but before I could say anything Rainbow turned to look a while playing with some yarn and he rapidly turned to jelly.
I let out a whistle, this could come in handy. I then scooped up the tiny ball of cute and placed her in a basket where she quickly nodded off.
I couldn't help but smile, maybe this wasn't so bad after all. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Help, my heart, hhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Authors note: More?, this is killing me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I was flying across a peacefull meadow, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy at my side, the wind in my hair, my jetpack working perfectly, creating a wonderfull feeling of freedom, suddenly a 'dong' sound echoed through the landscape and before my eyes the ground started to melt away, I turned to ask Fluttershy but her face had melted off and she was turning into a floating liquid that merged with Rainbow dash into a pink pony with purple and yellow hair. She then stared at me with a hundred yard stare and said in a soft, cooing tone: "Wake up sleepy."
I woke up with a start, looking around in horror, sweat creasing my brow, before realising that it had all been a dream, well the flying and mixed up ponies were, but alas the fact that I was stuck in Fimfiction with the Chernobyl of cute asleep in a basket next to me wasn't.
A got up and rolled about the carrige, careful not to wake the sleeping angle of cuteness, but alas it was for nought, for as I lightly rolled past, the infernal 'Dong' noise that had awoken me from my slumber blurted out of the speaker system once again, and casued little Dashie to let out a tiny yawn and grab onto my tiny chibi arm for comfort and snuggled back into her slumber. This left me in a very awkward situation, I couldn't return to my seat to rest, nor could I roll away with waking her up, something that I really didn't want to do, so after weighing the pros and cons I decied to see if I could catch some shut-eye whilst leaning against the table top that her basket was perched on, and surprisingly , I could. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Meanwhile in Discord's office.
The draconequus was in the middle of sipping his afternoon tea when this neck suddenly straightened out and he placed the tea cup on the office table. ""I a great disturbance in the air, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in 'hrrgggh', and were suddenly silenced, what could this mean?" He raised his claw to his chin while he pondered his,before a look a of horror overcame his face. "He wouldn't have, he couldn't have... Ow buck." And with a click of his talons the darklord was gone in a flash of light, leaving behind a depressed teapot and teacup. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I awoke to the strange sensation of something wet and warm, running across my face, and tickeling my moustache, wodnering what it was, I saw that Dash had awoken and was licking my face. I pushed her away but she came back and continued to do so for a few minutes before flying over to a metal door and banging her hooves on the side. I rolled over and noticed that it was the toliet, so doing what must be done, I opned the door and ushed her inside and shut the door, not opening it again untill I heard her pound on the otherside of the door. As I was doing this, the train suddenly stopped and the side doors opened to reveal a black chibi with red spots rolling towards the train whilst been chased by an angry mod, I slammed my fist into the door control button and it started to close, though not before the chibi managed to roll into the carriage.
"Thanks for that" Bellowed the Chibi, "I'm mrhappyface, who are you? And is that a baby Dashie behind you?" The name seemed fimilaur, but I couldn't remeber it but then it hit me, this was mrhappyface, and wanted Dashie!. I did the only thing that anyone could do, I grabbed him and chucked him out of the nearest window, into the arms of the fanantic crowd that processed to tear him limb from limb as the train pulled away. Satisfied that we were now safe, I sat down to rest, chuckling to myself when Dashie flew over and nessled on my lap, I made a decicion no-matter what anyone did, I would protect her. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sorry about the length and there's more bad news, I won't be updating for a while so I can finish Doctor What? So... yeah.
Authors note: This is only becasue of the backlash wave. "So much hate, it's so delicious and moist. Pinkie starts to drool. Yeah... I'm going to walk away slowely and come back when shits less crazy. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The rest of the journey continued without hassle, well it think It did, for you see, I had fallen sleep and when I returned to the land of the awoken, it seemed that we had missed our stop, for when I awoke, we had been dumped outside the train, which was nowhere to find. Looking around two things, one was that Rainbow was awake and the second was that we seemed to be at a place called 'characters'. As I had nothing else to do, I deciede to investigate the area, with dash flying behind. After much searching I found... a door, which was kinda an anticlimax but hey, a plot device is a plot device.
As I entered the expanse behind behind the doorway, I felt something akin to a bolt of lightning pass through me, temporarily blinding me once again,(by the end of this I'm probaly going to be blind.) Once I could see again I looked down and noticed that I was now a pony, at which piont I promptly shouted to the sky. "I don't care if your me, recounting the story, you can't just have me change for no reason." Surprisingly a voice replied. "Shut up, I'm writing this so just shut up." I let out a huf, noone was going to talk to me this way. "My good sir-" I started my right hoof raised to my chin before been interrupted by the voice. "Nope not listening, in fact..." Suddenly a gaint pie fell from the heavens and covered me with cream. "Really?" I asked, my left eyebrow raised, slightly as tiny dash licked the cream off in one go, rather like Pinkie pie, eating a cake. "Yep, now shut up and get back to acting out my crazy ideas. I let out a sigh and returned to focusing on this impossible scenario that some crazy, if not insane mind had come up with, and when I did, I noticed that not only was I a pony, there were ponies EVERYWHERE! All the charcters from the show, all grouped under tents with names on, such as; Pinkie pie stood under a tent labeled Chance meeting, a aged pony under a tent labeled A day in the life of O’Reiley, Sweetie Belle and Rarity stood under a tent labeled Friendship is witchcraft but what caught my attention was the large group of characters waving at me from under a large tent labeled Doctor what? I trotted over to see what the matter was and soon regreted it, for I was jumped on by a bronw earth pony stallion who pinned me down and shouted in my ear. "Why haven't you writtern more?" This confused me, I had no Idea what this brute was on about, that was untill I looked around at the crowd of ponies that had formed around me; Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbowdash (the normal one), Pinkie pie, Applejack, Spike, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Zecora and Dinky hooves. I remebered, what I had created, what had once been lost was once more found, these were the characters from the first fic that I had put my heart, soul and tears into, the fic that had done what I asked and what had I done? Abandoned it, left it to rot in some corner of fimfiction while I move on the bigger and brighter stories, but none had the soul that this did, and I had left it. A single tear rolled down my check. "I'm sorry,I'm so sorry." I sobbed, expecting them to hate me but when I opend my eyes, all I saw were the looks of worry and concern and every one of their faces. The stallion (who I realised was the Doctor), helped me to my feet and before I could say 'Nein' I was engulfed in a group hug. "Thanks you guys, I Pinkie Promise that I'll write more for you, ok?" They all nodded and the group hug dispersed, but as it did this the tiny Dash flew over and was grabbed by Applejack. I let out a chuckle, it would be amusing to see Applejack explain her actions to Rainbow Dash, who was currently holding her head in confusion. I would have liked to see what was was going to happen, but I had been whisked away by Doctor whooves, who had just finished explaining how the strange metal pole in the center of the tent worked. "- and that is how it works." "Ok, but what does it do?" "Teleports characters here." "I see..." A lightbulb appeared above my head, until it was snatched away by Pinkie pie, but the ida remained there. I punched in some codes (no literally, punched) and in a flash Pinkamena appeared and then pouted. "Fine you found me." She then procced to call up Gilda the griffion and stared asking her about Dash's younger years. While his was going on, I realised something, Ditzy Doo was missing, so unaware of what could happen I beamed her infront of me, at which moment this music started to play and Gilda lowered her shades. Instead of our loving mare, two large mobs of people armed with pitch forks appeared, one chanting "For Dizty!" and the other shouting "Derp!" and then in a mass of blood and gore they clashed, arms flew over head, blood covered the streets, the sound of the dieing filled the area, a man went down and took two of this fellows down with him, another fought like a man possessed against a crowd of hundreds, his weapons slicing through their ranks, felling all but the toughest foe in one stroke, and all the while we hide, hide and cried in fear, and at the inhumanity of what was happening infront of us, but like the fools we were, our eyes were blind to the real danger, for while we were distracted by mere mortals and their games, a power like non-other was amassing, Pinkamena had started to float into the heavens, her body covered with an unearthly glow, her eyes glowing with a white hot fire, as she cried. "THIS ENDS NOW!" And with that cry, the very fabric of existence itself ripped under the raw power of the God that now stood before use, a blinding light sweept out from her encompassing every last living thing before... nothing. All that was, would be or ever had, was gone wiped out by the fury of a wrathfull god, and then in the heart of the void that was now eveything, a spark appeared, and from that spark spread the energy of life and the world was reborn. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I HAVE NO IDEA. Enjoy, but now I really have to take a brake. Good day.
Authors notes:God dammit, I was suppost to be writing my normal fanfics, but yet I'm doing this? Why am I even starting to write this? It's 11pm. It's probaly: Well I hope you enjoy this random stuff I write, I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. Hell with it, it's going on Hiatus, maybe that way I be able to focus on my other fics. Sorry to all of you that read this, but I need to get back to my old fics and this is calling for me to write it. AND I DON'T WANT TO! So... yeah, I probally come back to this after I write another chapter for Doctor what. Once again, sorry, I just can't do both and I really want to go back to the proper story. Okay?
*Gets hit in the back of the head by a pinkhoof.* "Oh no you don't." "What about us?" "Yeah, jackass, now get back to writing or I'll fuck you up." "You wouldn't" *Gets smacked in the face.* "I can rape your mind when you sleep at will, don't try me chump, or I swear I will fuck your shit up." "You would dare, it would take to much energy." "Screw fucking logic, I'm Pinkamena diane fucking pie, so shut the hell up or I will end you. Now get back to writing." "Fine, I'll do it." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ So what happened last time... Oh yeah, the universe exploded. Well Fimfiction atleast, not sure about the rest, but who knows what that crazy pony can do? Not me, so stop asking, I mean it, stop, I don't know. So back to the story. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I awoke in a dark,damp room, my right hand- (No wait, they are hooves now, dam plotholes, why did that happen anyway? It made no sense anyway, I mean I just turned into a ponies for no reason.) A voice thundered in my head, rattaling around my skull. "What did I tell you about questioning the Story?" Boomed the voice. "That's it's wrong and I should stop." I muttered back. "Speak up". The random voice demanded. "It's wrong and I should stop." I raised my voice slightly. "LOUDER!" "IT'S WRONG AND I SHOULD STOP QUESTIONING WHAT HAPPENS!" I bellowed at the voice, hoping it would shut up. "Good, now don't let me catch you at it again." "One of these days." I muttered to myself. "What was that?" "Nothing." Good. Now go back to describing the random shit that happened." -My right hoof was strapped down to a table by a metal shackle and to my horror, so were my other appendages (No not that one, the legs, no not the 5th leg, don't even think about that. I mean it, stop thinking, pull yourself out of the gutter. On a side-note, call us in the next 24 seconds and get padding for you local gutter, no longer will you wake up with back pain. Oh it's run out now. Too bad. ... The hell? Anyway, back on topic.) Panicking slightly, I tried to see if any of the shackles were loose, due to rust and general wear and tear, but alas this was not to be. Sweat ran down my muzzle, (Why was I made a pony?) and my breathing became rapid as the full realisation of what had happened sunk in. I was strapped to a table, in a dark room, somewhere inside Fimfiction, a site which had thousands of cupcakes spinoffs, and-" I gulped as the thought ran through my brain. "Cupcake clopfics."
I prayed to every single god, cult figure there was for help; "Zeus, Mars, Odin, Christ, Budda, Hitler, Discord, Obama, Kronos, Celestia, Knightly, some-one/somepony help me." My mental and vocal my prayers were cut short by the sound of hooves clip, clopping (Not that type) coming from the darkness towards me. (Which kinda sounds like the Drums in the Masters head, you know :1,2,3,4 1,2,3,4, 1,2,3,4 1,2,3,4. Strange how you notice these kinda things when you are in mortal terror and probally about to die.)
I stared in horror, as out of the darkness came the a horror that few men have ever lived to see, the image that burnt it's self into my mind, that is waiting for me whenever I close my eyes, the horrid shape of -
MEANWHILE, IN PONIBOORU
A few blobby ponies rolled around in a field, hugging each other and making cute poses when the sudden tranquil peace was shattered by a pink earth pony mare that galloped across the field, closely followed by a black unicorn stallion wearing cool shades who was screaming and whooping in a mixture of fear and excitement and knocked several blobby ponies onto their backs, leaving them trapped as they desperately tried to right themselves with their tiny legs.
As the few upturned blobs were slowely helped back to their tiny, stubby legs, by their fellows, a dust cloud appeared to the east, and in a few seconds the few blobbies were engulfed and trampled under a swarm of the the sum of all of mankinds evil, the worst creature that we were every cursed to have met, FLUFFY PONIES.
The swarm of multicoloured freaks of science swarmed over the plains, chasing after the two fugitive ponies, their cries of "Smarty say,give owies to baddy non-fwuffies", "Why mama no move" and "Nummies?" echoed across the open plain, causing the pair of ponies the pick up speed, in the vain hope of losing their vengeful pursuers.
"I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA." Screamed the pink pony, her hair swept back from the speed of their gallop, her well toned flank muscles pushing her onwards, towards the pairs destination, a small stone wall. The stallion grunted his mind focused on the twin taskes off moving his legs, and preventing the movement of his 'other' leg, which had started to twitch and straighten at the sight of the pink mares rump, bobbing up and down as she galloped across the landscape. "Hold it togethor Datdamnface" Muttered the stallion to himself. "Mounting, and fucking her brains out won't help anyone, but it would feel soo good." So mesmerized was Datdamnface by Pinkie's marvellous flank, he would have ran straight into the stone wall, if a voice, which to him sounded like one of Gods angels hadn't shrieked at him. "Hey pot head, look out." This angelic voice snapped him out of this dream like state, and he was able to jump over the small wall, and through a patch of shimmering air and land, barrel roll style on the grass at the other side.
One of the first things he noticed, was no longer a pony, instead he was, what seemed to be a humanoid creature with a robot arm and a single fang. The second thing he noticed was that he was sat next one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen; Her long pink hair sprang out in shape not unsimilar to cotton candy, a pair of perky funbags were perched on her chest, not too big, and not too small, just the right shape for 'parties'. As he gawped the girl, leaned in as if to kiss him, hoping that this was the case Datdamnface closed his eyes and puckered his lips, but to his surpise, instead of a kiss from a foxy lady, he instead recieved a hearty smack to the face. "Come on silly, we're not done yet." Stated the girl as she walked away, but not before bending over and shaking her rear at the now quite horny Writer. With a sigh, Datdamn got up and followed the crazy mare, with any look his adventure might be fun afterall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ See you next time I get ideas. Bye.
