The Good Fandom Man

by Jake Witt

First published

The Author has destroyed an Equestria and shoe horned the merging of two Equestria's. All that's left is Fandom Man to zip up the biggest zipper ever zipped!

(Reading "The Great Fandom Man" is optional but the "Soft Reboot" section is needed. Context/Key: I had a good thing but I stuck it to an idea I couldn't realize.*)

After bringing balance to the two-headed moon princess; Twilight Sparkle, Tiny Spark, and Spike decide to live in the Ponyville Golden Oak's Library. It has everything they need! A library, a bedroom loft, a kitchen, a basement, another library, cookies on dowels, two bathrooms, stairs, and a hole in the ceiling containing an unreachable pocket dimension.

Did they mention the giant gaping hole and the pocket dimension inside Voltron's head?

What mysteries does it hold? What is a Cuban Pete? Whose voice is that? Where did it come from?


* If I do continue Lego Craft's story... well, the tables will turn. Lego Craft ruined Fandom Man's main role chances. Now Fandom Man ruin's Lego Craft's current existence. There's no breaking the cycle. It is made worse since I gave up on the Lego Craft and Box reboot. It is because of this that my badly connected universe is being drastically altered like a pot of good and bad ideas mixing.**

**Lego Craft is the key. His original story and reboot- both will not be finished or canceled- and Fandom Man's forced connection to both versions have screwed time-space. Especially with Season 5 finale meeting Season 1. There's no perfect copy since they're both My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Season 1 Episode 1: Harmony and Holes Part 1

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"Do you think we are defeated?!"

Twin lasers shot out at seven ponies, each dodging or blocking the attack but never getting an opening to counter. One pony found a pillar intact, taking cover as a bright blue laser swung overhead. She blew her long, pink mane out of her eyes, timidly peeking as her cyan eyes surveyed the scene before returning behind her pillar. She tucked her wings to her body, trying to be as small as possible.

"Fluttershy!" A cyan pegasus shouted from above, "Get your butter-colored butterfly butt out here!"

Fluttershy rolled as her cover was destroyed by a fireball, she squeaked, "Rainbow Dash, I almost had a plan!"

"Ah can't hear you, sugar cube!" An orange pony drawled, backflipping away from one laser.

The rainbow maned pony related, "She said she almost had a plan, Applejack!" She flew under a laser following her, which switched to break the concentration of the lavender unicorn near the beam. "Heads up!"

The mare ducked, the laser grazing her dark purple mane, "You girls are crazy!"

"Cwazy!" Repeated a very tiny version of the unicorn, popping out of her bigger counterpart's mane briefly.

"Tiny Spark, get out of here!"

"I wanna help, Twilight!" the creature in her mane replied, sticking out her horn to fire a charged energy blast. The blast hit their foe, both heads growling. "Uh, oh!"

Applejack shielded her green eyes with her hoof as the two headed alicorn began pulling out her energy stores. "Rarity! Gem Pinkie Pie!"

A white unicorn whipped her head to nearby saddlebags... or what was left, her curled violet mane bounced as her dramatic cries reigned.

"I've got rocks!" A very, very pink pony screamed with an armful of rocks, "Stone the blasphemer!" Twilight Sparkle ran up to Pinkie, pulling her back by her tail as a pillar of dark magic shot up from where she initially stood. "Hey! I only my pets bite there!"

Twilight spat out Pinkie's tail, "Give me the Elements of Harmony! Every shard!"

"You mean these Elements of Harmony?"

Tiny Spark poked her head out, "You will give us the wocks, now!"

Pinkie did such before tossing a not-element at Nightmare Moon, a two-headed demon alicorn. The red and white rock opened, engulfing the villain in a blue aura as it captured her with a dual scream of, "NOOOOOOOO!!!"

Everyone stared at the metal ball that sat where Nightmare & Moon stood.

Fluttershy took a step closer, "We won?"

The ball shook three times before exploding! It was under effective! "Little foal! You think you can defeat us?!"

As they stood Moon screeched, "The night!"

Nightmare laughed, "Will last!"

"FOREVER! HA HAHA HA!" they shouted together in a voice much louder than normal pony shouting, our heroes fell to their knees in a forced bow and blew off Applejack's stetson. "Where's your precious Celestia, now?!"

Nightmare asked, "How can you defeat us without strong magic, your strong ruler, or even stones of legend? Well, what's left of the last two." A tear fell but nobody could see it.

Twilight got up, holding out one shard in her magic, "You mean this? I assume it was a conduit for the elements so that they could never be abused." She tossed the shard, which bounced off Moon's helmet. "The elements spirits are right here!"

The black alicorn snarled and tried to act brave.

Rainbow lowered her head, "The elements have spirits?"

Tiny poked her head out, whispering, "Bluuuuuff."

Twilight turned to the blonde pony, "Applejack is the spirit of Honesty! I was about to fall off a cliff and she held onto me so that I wouldn't fall!" There was a pause, "She was also very honest about her feelings."


"You should really lose ten pounds," Applejack said, struggling to hold onto Twilight. Tiny poked her head out briefly. "There's the ten pounds!"

"Are you kidding me?!" Twilight screamed.

"Alright, I feel myself sliding towards the edge and losing my grip on you. We have some options: I don't die and I live to farm mushrooms alongside ice, we both die and my family suffers, or I drop you and hope for the best."

"What?!"

"I don't want you to die but my family is really important. The needs of three apples outweigh the need of one sugar cube! What separates me from the monsters... Morality."

"So what now?!" Twilight screamed.

"Now you trust me; fall and you will live."

Twilight let go of Applejack and was saved by Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.


"Fluttershy tamed a manticore! That's pretty sick... I-I mean kind of her!" Twilight exclaimed as each element shard circled those she named. "The element of Kindness!"

Fluttershy tried to swat the rocks away.

"Pinkie Pie did some unspeakable things to some trees! The element of surprise! Or... the element of..."

"The element of Laughter!" Pinkie shouted between a hooful of popcorn.

Twilight rolled her eyes, "Rarity gave a dramatic serpent a magic jasper, capable of transforming hair, as a generous gift! The element of Generousity!"

Rarity watched as the pieces of rock floated around her, giving her blue eyes a glitter effect that matched her three-diamond mark on her flank. "Oh, wow, I'm special. Didn't see that coming."

Twilight pointed a hoof at Rainbow Dash, "Rainbow Dash found her own kind but didn't bail on us! The element of Loyalty!"

"Aw yeah! Bros before rainbows!" She paused, "Hey! Are you calling me a bootleg Wonderbolt?!"

"And I'm the missing element! The element of...! The element of...!" She looked to her coligues for help and she continued her phrase like a broken record. "THE ELEMENT OF...?!"


Nightmare looked at her identical twin head, her cat eye pupils shrinking, "They're so close..."

"Hold your ground..."

"But they have one more!"

"To name," Moon reminded, "The name, it is still missing among them."

"All but one," Nightmare pointed out, nervously. "They're going to get us!"

"You."

"What?!"

Moon smirked, "I win either way. They will purify you and our minds will return to normal."

"No!"

"This was never about balance between sun and moon. Prove me wrong, fire the first laser and stop them."

Nightmare flinched, her knees shaking, "I... I don't-"

"Then we are not equals."


"The element of..." Twilight repeated in defeat. Suddenly twin lasers flew for her and her alone.

Tiny Spark hopped out, screaming, "THE ELEMENT OF MAGIC!"

The laser bounced off a magic field as unseen shards surrounded, forming a stone orb above them with twin six starbursts representing Twilight and Tiny. All the shard formed chokers around each pony neck while Twilight got a tiara with a seat for Tiny.

Tiny Spark shouted with a voice identical to Twilight's, "The seven of us are friends, like it or not!"

The five murmured their opinions behind the twin unicorn's backs.

"Friendship is Magic!"

Twin rainbows shot out, arching and containing Nightmare Moon in a miniature rainbow cyclone. When the magic faded, the sun rose out of the window.

Season 1 Episode 1: Harmony and Holes Part 2

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"Well, my head hurts!" Rainbow stated, barfing in a corner.

Applejack poked at her necklace, "Wow. I thought Twilight was full of bull!"

"I was!" Twilight agreed, "But it worked!"

The sun rose, yet for a brief moment, something eclipsed it. Twilight Sparkle was too focused on her teacher and ruler, Princess Celestia, to notice a giant rainbow ball soar into Ponyville.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight called happily as she trotted up to her mentor to share a brief hug.

Celestia stood another head higher than Twilight, most of it could've been her long, elegant, white legs or the gold boots she wore or her long neck. Nobody cared as her beauty was never questioned, like how her aurora mane flowed without the wind or how her crown stayed on her head.

"I knew you could do it. Time travelers never spoil unless they feel they must." Celestia pushed Twilight aside as she stepped around her bowing subjects to get to the pony of the hour, "Luna. Moon. It has been a thousand years since I've seen you balanced and a thousand more like this."

A small, normal proportioned, two-headed alicorn with normal manes and eyes looked up at the bigger alicorn. Luna hid her blue eyes with her bright blue mane yet Moon blew her mirrored purple mane from her eyes. Moon tried to stand but decided to stop since Luna wasn't going to try.

Moon looked up, "Sister dearest?"

Celestia glanced over, "Good to see you, too, Moon." She lowered herself, "Luna? Are you alright, Luna? Look, Luna, we were meant to rule Equestria together, Luna. Just like how you are meant to bring balance to magic, Luna. You don't lead it to ruin, Luna. Let us set aside our differences, Luna, and be a family again! What do you say, Luna? Moon?"

The two moon heads looked to each other and nodded their agreement, "We have missed you so much!" They cried, hugging their big sister. Celestia's returned the gesture, her head between theirs.

"I'm so sorry," Luna cried.

"It was totally worth it!" Moon added.

"I disagree!"

"Finally!"


"Finally!" Twilight shouted as she entered her new home. "Hey, Spike, you will not believe what happened!"

Spike ran down their stairs, "I bet I got something better!"

"I doubt it."

"Check out the recent addition to your room!"

Twilight rolled her eyes, "We get a new princess ruling our country, demanding we make a shuttle to beat Griffonstone to the moon or build a border wall... and you want to show me renovations? You probably burned my second library!"

Spike pouted, "You said we would never speak of that!"

"To other ponies."

"So I guess he doesn't count as a pony?" Spike asked, ominously. "I bet he heard you, too, wonder about context."

Tiny hopped to the ground, "He? Who is he?"

"The new roommate."

Twilight tilted her head, "Um... Spike? That's called an intruder."

"Well, I did enter in tru the ceiling," a new voiced added. Everyone turned to see a tall, bipedal creature the size of Celestia wearing full armor with blue-glowing sections and spots. His helmet opened up to show a cream-colored face with an orange mane and brown eyes. His brows furrowed as her tilted a glass bottle upsidedown, "Anyway, I think you're out of milk..."

Season 1 Episode 2: How I got here...?

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"Get out!" Twilight shouted. If my butt wasn't armored, her pushing would feel weird but not as awkward as her pushing against me with no effect. "Ahhh!"

I look down to her, "I believe the door is to the right of us."

"I will sue you for breaking and entering!"

I nodded, "Yes, my house broke into a public, Ponyville owned establishment-"

"My room is privately rented!"

"-without my control and I fell out on accident." I calmly said, taking two steps towards the door to humor her. "And instead on offering a way to help me move my most alien domain from your residence, you press charges on a freak accident?"

She stopped pushing, frowning up at me, "I'm sorry but history has made a point of showing how much trouble follow your kind."

"My kind? Please, elaborate." Racist? That's new.

"Humans, robots, unnatural ponies, and creatures alien to the planet; all named under the term of 'Displaced'," Twilight began, taking out books with images that brought a smile behind my mask. "Humans wearing costumes stripped from their world to save or destroy ours. The world of ponies, griffons, yaks, dragons, zebras, and so on." One image was what looked like the cast of Sesame Street and Muppets in costumes, sharing drinks at a bar before the next image of Cookie Monster holding back Elmo and Ms. Piggy from fighting another held back drunk pony. "This is one example of eldritch horrors and demon animals starting a bar fight."

"The caption shows that the pony started it with the 'You do not belong here' bit," I pointed out.

"He was drunk, not thinking clearly."

"Same with the living children show puppets," I pointed out logically, flipping the page. "That mare looks happy to see Popeye the Sailor Man."

"She was deceived; look at this image of 'Popeye' bribing this salesman and punching these innocent ponies!"

"Look over his shoulder in the second image. These poor, innocent ponies were harassing the mare while he was getting ice cream!" I poked the third image, "Look back here, is that the face of a terrified mare? She's cheering Popeye on!"

"But Popeye sounds like a gruesome name!"

"I think it sounds pretty cool," Spike said, fist high. "Cooler than Link or Bubbles or Buttercup or Zero. Who names a hero Zero?"

Tiny Spark hoped off Twilight and onto Spike, "Zero to Hero~! He was a no one~ a Zero, a Zero~! Now he's a hot shot! He's a hero~!"

"That has a nice ring," Spike added, smiling up at the miniature Twilight Sparkle.

"What's with the tiny Twiley?" I asked.

Twilight fumed, "How do you know my nickname?! My... uh... sibling? Gave me that!"

"You mean your big brother?"

"YES! No! ...maybe?"

"Who taught you how to fly a kite?" I asked, pulling up a memory of the "Big Brother, Best Friends Forever" song.

"What does this have to do with your breaking into my new home?!"

"EVERYTHING. I come from the future, fought five other me's for dominance within a pocket dimension and flew back into the timeline in a giant rainbow ball of magic. My details are not important: Who is tiny Twilight and who taught you how to fly a kite?!"

Startled, Twilight shouted, "She showed up when I first met Princess Celestia and a creepy filly, years ag,o tried to teach me how! Starlight's obsession sent her to another foster family!"

"You know that last part... why?"

"I had to make sure she wasn't in Ponyville..." Twilight pursed her lips before cautiously asking, "Why are you asking?"

"Captain Shining Armor is your big brother, right?"

Everyone's eyes glowed white for a moment. She nodded, "Yes. In fact, he actually drove off Starlight before teaching me how to fly a kite properly." She looked around, "Hey, Oscar Conners, why are we down stairs? I thought we were in my room talking about your pocket dimension?"

Spike tilted his head, "Twilight, you were mad... about something."

"Yeah, we ran downstairs because we mistook a falling book for a home invader," I said shrugging. I led Twilight up the stairs, "You need to stop being paranoid."

Twilight and Tiny nodded, "Yeah, I'm just shaken up from your arrival and the new princesses." We entered her room... where I just had the oddest feeling. Like something wasn't right.

"I'm feeling tired.... Night, Ms. Sparkle!" I leaped into my portal and the pony world faded to white... but the nagging feeling remained.

Season 1 Episode 3 & 4: Ticket Bucks?

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"Fandom Man, I've been thinking," one of my Artificial Intelligence Cortana began, pausing for a while.

Ever since my fight with the other me's... I was forced to trade my Cortana for the most reasonable of the other A.I. This Cortana actually looks like her namesake but with very medieval armor. She can't replace MY Cortana but she's valued the same... until combat ends and we have to remind each other of which version we are.

"You may speak freely," I reply, rolling my eyes. "You can call me Oscar if you want."

She fidgeted for a bit, "O-Osc-Os-Fandom Man; what can you do without your armor?"

"What do you mean?"

"She wants to know if you are completely useless without us," my bright blue Rouge the Bat A.I. filled in, filing her nails under "gloveless_classy" and "gloveless_sassy". "And the answer- to my knowledge- is that he's fast and has an omnitrix. He can outrun the armor itself but not for long."

I crossed my arms, "I also have my keyblade! And through that: magic. I have magic."

"What about your powers of Deus Exit Machina?"

"Just because I encounter characters, call them my best friends, and never speak of them again... doesn't mean I control their existence!" I paused, the odd feeling from before returning. "Oh my gosh; the author is cutting corners again."

"Now I'm interested," Giffany, my pink A.I. school girl based on an A.I. from Gravity Falls. "How come your brain hasn't exploded, yet, from the sheer exposure to the fourth wall?"

"My pocket dimension is a magical, white void with one huge room with no walls and one opening," I state, very very... uh... peeved! Whoops! I should keep descriptive swearing to a minimum! "I'm pretty sure n handle these revelations in this environment."

"Oscar, help me!" I hear the echoes of Twilight's screams as well as the chanting of several other voices.

"I've constructed an "average suit" for experimentation!" Cortana shouts, launching me from my armor. "Go get 'em, tiger!"


When you've fallen down a set of stairs as much as I have, you learn to brush it off. By the time I reached the bottom; I realized that this is the few times where I'm not transformed or in armor. The fact that I don't have a concussion is neat, I guess?

I got up and checked myself: jeans, red shirt, matching scouter, green omnitrix, Ezio hook blades, my dust revolver, and my gray lantern ring. All I need. I leap through the open door to find Pinkie chanting something and a group of ponies tossing Twilight in the air. Silly ponies; Twilight can't fly, yet!

"Twilight is my bestest friend! Whoopie! Whoopie!" Pinkie sang.

"Pinkie?" I ask, worriedly.

"The cutest, smartest, all around bestest pony! Whoopie! Whoopie!"

"Are you hitting on Twilight?"

"I bet if I throw a super-duper fun party! Party!" Pinkie continued to sing and hop around. "She'll give her extra ticket to the Gala to me~!"

"PINKIEEEEEEE!!!" Twilight Sparkle and Tiny Spark shouted in sync. The ponies dropped Twilight, which got me in range as I crouched and the scouter changed to "Pipboy Mode". The scans showed so many think with no specific location butt I was able to find and take the Gala tickets.

I pulled out the tickets from my pocket, "Hey, looking for these, Pinkie?!"

Every pony looked to me; some ran away, fainted, or made a mad dash to the tickets... the latter shocked me as I've yet to see background ponies show such skill. Some ponies crouched, jumping as other ponies made contact to leap off them like something out of a circus... until I dodged the earth ponies and got ambushed by falling piledriver pegasi. "WIND!" With my keyblade, I created a wind bubble that pushed the ponies off but it was disabled by a group of unicorns. "STOP!" I turned to walk to a safe place, to dodge the time-slowed ponies but it turns out these ponies made for good platforms as I began to clumsily dodge flower pots and pot pies from mares on time-slowed pegasi.

Pinkie's jaw fell but she pulled it up whilst grabbing Rapid Party Generating... uh... RPG. She ran, firing between and above ponies and I climbed onto the rooftops. During my run, the ponies unfroze and continued their assault from above and below as pie tins are apparently shurikens and ponies were relentless. "PROTECT!" The wind barrier returned and I aimed my keyblade in front of me. "FIRE!" Magic went through the handle, past the ring hilt, and down the tank cannon barrel as I fired a focused fireball in mid-jump. The force tossed me back, knocking away ponies and possibly setting a house on fire.

I rolled into the library, grabbing then tossing Spike, using him to cushion my impact on a bookshelf. The result worked but I bounced off Spike and landed on my face. I looked to my keyblade, the orange fading from the end and the near-aligned knives making the keyblade's teeth. "Spike, get a letter ready; I'm going to find- You know what? If you see Twilight, give her the tickets. I don't care."

''Uhh... okay?" he nodded, dazed as the tickets fell at his feet. He lifted a claw but his question was cut short from me fixing the bookshelf as a version of The Flash. My speed allowing me to organize every book before time ran out on my form. Yes, time ran out because my omnitrix isn't connected to a constantly restoring source.

Now, it seems it wasn't full ten minutes as The Flash... mainly because I visited Sweet Apple Acres, grabbed some apples, and used my keyblade magic to form a bucket made of ice. I left a bag of old universe bits, since they still work as currency, here. Finally, I fixed the bookshelf, returned to normal by form, and I leaped into my pocket dimension... again, on the ceiling.

....well, that last one wasn't true. I mean, it was on the ceiling but I didn't make it. I jumped... and it was again beyond my reach. "I forgot normal meant no extended jumps, triple jumps, glides, air slides, electric slides, rocket jumps, or homing roundhouse kicks." I took out my revolver, using the gravity dust to shoot me into my opening without collateral.


"Do you know who yer talkin' to?!" Applejack asked Big Macintosh, her older, bulkier, big red brother who was clearly injured from the bandage wrapping around his torso. "I'm Applejack, the loyalist and most dependable of ponies!"

The duo turned to witness an avalanche of apples, riding on top was Oscar Conners on an air mattress, drinking lemonade. The ponies stuck their heads out as he passed, his keyblade arm resting on top of his bent knee, "Heal." The keyblade shot out green tea leaves as twin magic gold bells rang over everyone's heads. "Alright, my job is done."

He grabbed a gun from his left holster, firing a line at the barn that took him and his mattress away.

"Are ya alright, Big Mac?" AJ asked, worried.

"Eeyup. Whatever he did, got me working ready."

"You could've just said 'Eeyup'," Applejack said. "Check every tree for apples while 'Bloom an I round the apples."

"Not like I have anything better to do," Big Mac said, climbing out and walking off.

Studying: Golden Oaks & My Pocket Dimension

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"What is up with these 'Guardians of Harmony' toys?!"

It's odd watching my armor look up from a newspaper to look at me, across my dinner table. Luckily, the white Power Ranger helmet gave it more character than Iron Man. Whoever was currently in control shrugged its shoulders.

"They gave Princess Twilight a spear and a weird scoop armor," I said, holding said toy. "Is she going to plow Sweet Apple Acres after fighting the changeling she's paired up with?"

"Don't forget about the Wonderbolts and their jetpack! Now they're channeling the air force!" Giffany added, making her three Wonderbolt toys fly with pure data will.

A tiny toy changeling queen flew past my head. "They even gave the front half of Chrysalis the stamp of Trixie's disapproval." Rouge commanded the toy back to her, firing off the two green wheels from the Chrysalis' front hooves and "knocking out" Giffany's Spitfire. "Don't worry for I, the Badass Spike, will save you!" Rouge's other hand proclaimed, holding a tiny armored toy Spike by his red cape. Toy Spike "saved" Spitfire before tossing his sword into Chrysalis' heart. "I've ended her reign of terror!"

The missing Zebra ghost from the tribal Fandom Man- Fan Man- resurfaced, dancing around the toy Queen Chrysalis.

I silently reached over, grabbing toy Celestia to reward Spike in my best princess voice... which wasn't much.


I climbed through my portal opening, furious as I stomped to my armor. "Who spliced Twilight with Klingon DNA?!" The Zebra began explaining something in a language I couldn't understand. "Anyone, I can understand?" The Zebra pointed to my armor. "Who was in control of it at the time?"

The Zebra made a curvy shape with his hooves, blue lines following. He then stood at attention.

"Cortana; got it," I nodded, appreciatively. "One of us needs to learn better communication. I know you understand me-"

I flew a distance after something hit my left side. If there was actual ground I keep bouncing off of, I bet I would get major friction burns. The obvious backhand would've kept my arm broken if I didn't accidentally transform five skips back. As the frail Spider Monkey, I broke two arms... but another bounce during my attempt to change forms on purpose gave me my Wolverine form.

"Vote to kill has been overruled." Cortana spoke from my armor when I got up.

"What is going on?!"

"Cortana snuck the imprisoned A.I. into the armor!" Giffany screamed, "Also the Klingon Nanites will die in a minute... uh... Can you leave us to our voting?"

"Motion passed; one-minute head start," Cortana shouted, shifting the suit to a battle stance. "Ghost voting pending. Pyro style motion carried."


What is Tiny Spark?! Her energy levels are high yet she struggles to levitate anything heavier than Twilight's coffee mug. She has amazing hopping abilities and reminds me of breezies... if they were grounded bookworms. She spends 90% of her time with Twilight, even as far as being with her when... They're inseparable; let's say that.

Spike is normal Spike. I haven't seen anyth- Did he just unhinge his jaw to eat a stack of pancakes?!? Sick! As in both awesome and unnerving.

I moved my focus to Klingon Twilight, who has calmed down significantly. My Cortana had a hobby of developing nanites to the point of returning their control to me or forming superior nanobots and using those nanobots to form a nanobot body. To see her worked used on Twilight Sparkle was equal parts fascinating and discerning. These were Generator Rex nanites; what if they did something worse to Twilight?

The pony of my study scratched the growth on her face, frowning. Eventually, her muscle mass returned to normal, she calmed further, and as the growth dissipated; Twilight coughed out the nanites. Their self-destruction were barely audible pops.

I walked up to Twilight, "Hey... Are you alright?"

She looked up, frowning, "I'm writing to the princess about my unusual disease. I don't know-"

"Actually, it is not a disease. There's some drama at my place and that somehow led to tiny robots temporarily splicing your DNA with an alien," I interjected, grabbing the scroll. "I'm waiting for it to blow over rather than watch it blow up in my face."

"Tiny robots? How tiny?"

"They can replicate an airborne virus," I answered, nervous internally. "However small that is. I'm sorry for the inconvenience and wish for my friend's work to not abused a second time-"

We heard a crash and a loud, deep scream. Looking towards the kitchen revealed a spliced Spike with Humungosaur DNA.

Twilight gave me an accusing look.

I sighed, "I didn't want this to turn personal." I ran up the stairs, tossing a pocket spring to launch me into my pocket dimension where it was severely renovated to the point that it looked like an old castle with futuristic upgrades. Nearby I found a terminal. I removed my omnitrix and inserted it into the terminal and using my scouter as an interface. When it came out, the terminal locked yet it was too late as I attached the new rig. It still looked like the Ben 10 Alien Force omnitrix but the face was thinner and the strap was thicker. The new chrome look was a bit much but it was worth the arc reactor addition. The face popped up, showing a green holographic ball that changed colors as I turned the ring.

"Mercy? Motion denied. All Oscar Conners will be contained or killed. Revenge motion carried." I leaped back as a familiar fist shot through the terminal in an attempt to grab me. "Prepare to be E X T E R M I N A T E D."

I quickly chose the red orb, pushing the omnitrix face down as a microphone poked out. "Henshin a Go Go, Bro!" A Viewtiful Joe styled suit appeared, the omnitrix on my chest with twin spikes making a V. I cast aside a long, flowing blue scarf for the same reason Edna Mode discarded capes. A white Power Ranger helmet formed over my head, matching the white gloves and boots on my red and blue suit. "This feels different than last time..."

My armor walked around the wall, Captain America's Shield on one arm and Genji's sword in the other hand. My voice spoke back, mettalic, "Maybe it's because you're not hiding behind this suit of armor."

"No, I was fighting a more competant opponent."

"Rapid voting: active. Motions CARRIED!" It dashed forward, knocking me to the ground in an instant.

"Fire!" My keyblade formed, shooting three fireballs. I rolled back, jumped, and summoned electricity in my blade tip as I spun forward in the air and tossed my keyblade. The armor blocked the last shot, returning with rapid sword strikes I could barely dodge. My foot slipped and I was sure to be stucken down- "Thunder!" Who am I kidding?

Lightning shot out of the keyblade, slowing the suit enough for me to counter. The blade struck the chest but no visible damage was seen. It tossed the shield and for a moment I was forced to yield a moment too long as my Matrix-worthy reverse duck left my legs open to be swept and before I could react, twin hammers dribbled me like a basketball. "Motions carried!"

For once in my life I was having trouble sitting up. I watched as... "No!" Gloves once mine turned the ring of an ultimatrix out of my grasp, for once I see the backs of the holographic figures. I slowly forced my arms to meet, my left hand reaching my right wrist.

"This human is weak of will and is thus not worthy of a power he can not comprehend," the suit continues, my projected voice being more and more robotic. "He was a brief amusement akin to a slinky or a penny." Imperfect Cell showed up, his hologram hunched and waiting. The inner face popped up twice, showing Perfect Cell. "Or it was like watching a bug crawl across the pavement." It's hand gently pushed down the ultimatrix face while I was still looking for a decent form in an unfiltered sea of forms.

...nothing happened.

"I will stop you!" I shouted, my transformation beginning. My "Viewtiful Suit" changed shape to accomodate the changed form. My body shrunk as my limbs became legs ending in hooves and a muzzel grew from my face. Slots opened for my poofy pink mane and tail to poke out as a giggling spell came over me, "Pinkie. Pie. Promise!"

I placed a crafting bench in front of me, tossing three party cannons and some sticks on it until I got my P.C.H. I slung my Party Cannon Hammer over my shoulder as I jumped off the bench. The armor dodged but a barrel roll can't stop me! My hammer fired from one end, meeting my armor's helmet with a hallow "thunk". Or maybe it was more of a "brunbrunbrun"! Or a "clunk"! Oooh! Whatever that fun sound is, you get the idea!

I swung the hammer, launching pastries at the armor's boots and tripping it up. Genji's sword was swung, never reaching me but getting cake in the armor's face. "I'm not cleaning that up!" I said with a cheeky grin. My canon shot out a big cheesecake cherrychanga. The armor caught it and looked up to see my alternate version of DeadPool, FandomPool, tackle the armor for the treat. "Hey, that's mine! Mineminemine!"

"How dare you make a mockery of the Great Fandom Man!"

"Say what what in the butt?!" I said between bites, laying flat on the ground to avoid a crescant kick. "I'm the Great Fandom Man!"

"You were."

I did a quaduple axle backflip and stuck the landing, grabbing "Fandom Man's" hand and pulling it into my uppercut, knocking the helmet off. "Oh, yeah? The Fandom Man never talked like that, used nanites on unwilling ponies, or acted as judge and jury."

"Just like you did with the other versions of yourself?"

FandomPool changed into Upgrade, "They attacked me first, both times. Tell me why."

"Wouldn't you be pissed if your friends, family, and reality disappeared? Also, the whole "only one Conners" thing for this timeline-" A blue lightsaber came out, the blade close to my neck. "Motion sent for revote."

"If it's possible to talk to them in stasis," I began, quietly taking over the armor. "I wish I could say- remind them of a place called Earth. A country named America with a state called Texas. I don't know about Original Character but I know what you mean."

Studying: Golden Oaks' Visitors

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After my dramatic fight, I disassembled my armor to different sections of what was my new home. My eyes glanced over to the unplugged USB the A.I. were trapped in and the ghosts couldn't touch. "Rouge, Giffany. I promise I will extract you from that USB," I sighed. "Of course, I'm probably asking-" A thought hit me like a brick. "What if I wake each me one by one? I have a suit of armor... but manually..."

Holding the helmet and Ultimatrix arm, I hopped out of my pocket dimension and tripped over my pocket spring. While falling down some stairs "I warned you about the stairs, bro!" like some red Homestuck idiot, my helmet latched onto my head. I took off my helmet and looked to my left to spot nine ponies. Those five other ponies, Twilight and Humungosaur Spike, a brown earth stallion with a spiked gray mane and tail wearing a lab coat and beige pants, and the final pony was a gray pegasus mare with blonde mane, tail, and eye that looked at me and my pet chimpanzee Mr. Mumbles, who was across the room in the opposite direction.

The stallion pointed a gun at me, "There's two more! There was nine and now there's thirteen!"

"We have to get to the bottom of this!" Sunset Glimmer exclaimed, her balled talon meeting her open one. "These mind parasites can not leave the tree!"

"You are indeed correct!" Princess Luna agreed. A starry-maned, one headed, Princess Luna that turned out to be a parasite by my headshot.

I got up, spinning my revolver's chamber, "There's actually ten of us." I shot Sunset Glimmer, Mr. Mumbles, and a hybrid Monopoly Man Michael Jackson. "My name is Oscar Conners and I'm not rehashing a 'Rick & Morty' scenario."

"I'm Sick Sanchez," he held his gun to my head. "And the number stays at nin*urrp*e. Funny how you're not a p*urrrp*ony and that only Twilight recognized you." Spike held out his claw, "Nobody gives a s:yay: Spike. You're on my list..." His unibrow furrowed further as he took a point-blank shot.

My body began to glow gold as all Time Lords do when they regenerate, "Dude, I really~ want to know~! Dun dun dundun~! Should I stay or should you go!!!" As I changed, my finger glowed with a mighty power that pushed Sick away and shot concentrated energy at Pizza Steve and a unicorn so fluffy it had to die.After the change was complete, I returned to my normal human form. "Time Lord DNA. You only live twelve times with a Zen Kai boost between transition." I dodged a sick kick, "Try that stung again and I may go Ultimate Time Lord on your butt."

"Alright, who do you think is *uuurp* real, genius?!"

"The bearers of the Elements of Harmony," I looked through my forms for Time Lord. "Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack. It's too early for them to have fond memories. I was involved with Spike's current form. I assume Derpy Hooves Ditzy Doo Muffins was real for many reasons I will address. I am real otherwise my Time Lord form would be crap... but I don't know nor care if you're real."

The gray mare, :derpytongue2:, pointed at Sick, "He's real. He's staying at my house and taking me to weird places the Doctor could never take me."

I smiled, "You travel with the Doctor?"

"Not at the moment; he dropped me off three years too early. Sick is a means to an end since the Rick Council confirmed his Morty being with my Doctor."

Pinkie rolled her eyes, "Not that this isn't fun and necessary exposition but I still need to set up A PARTY!"

"I think Featherweight can wait about five more minutes," Princess Skyla reasoned. Everyone agreed happily as nobody can fault her logic and divine wisdom... which was ended swiftly by Rainbow's pocket knife.

Rainbow Slash hoof bumped Rainbow Dash but the first was killed by my true aim. "No! No! Slash, stay with me! Do not die on me! You're going to live and finally prove to Gilda that maneuver can happen! You will live so we can impress the Wonderbolts with our Double Rainbooms!"

Fluttershy held Rainbow Dash tight as the parasite turned to ash.

I glanced at Sick, "I think a tiny bit of me just died."

"Deal with it," he replied, pulling out a flask. His hoof traveled the room, "Stop moving; I'm trying to count!"

I held two fingers on my Chrome Ultimatrix, "Ultimatrix Mind Meld: Unlock." I felt a brief shock as my body accustomed to the new Ultimatrix. I reached out my arm as a laser scanned the room and it's many occupants. On my command, FM Nanites swarmed the library, vaporizing every parasite in the area and traveling throughout the rest of the library before returning to the Ultimatrix. "Alright, the gloves are off."

Sick then fired his gun at me, again. "I bet they would die for their leader! This is a *urrrp* big act on youuur part. Good job convincing everyone, luring us into a *urrf* false sense of security. Well, you can just lick lick-"

My skeleton hand held him up by his neck, my mind creating a hybrid DNA creation that came to fruition. I bobbed my head to the silent music as an eye glowed blue, the spikes on my leather jacket rose in height before being engulfed in flames. "Ghost Rider, Sans, Luis. I wonder if this vengeful skeleton thing exists as a trope? I could give you my penance stare or just a very... bad... time..." Time fire engulfing my skull grew, emphasizing how bad the time will become.

"Yeah, I'd rather stick with the retard or one of Berry's mentally challenged spawn that just so happen to be my grandchildren." He didn't look a bit scared so I just dropped him. "Good. I already had to deal with Summer and Morty is off whenever. Like I give a-"

I used Gaster's powers to open a portal under Sick and :derpytongue2: so that the headache would go away. I turned to the ponies and Spike, who had Rarity on his bicept like a fainting couch. Reverting to normal, I waved, "Oscar Conners, the Great Fandom Man. I would like to be friends and talk to Rarity about a possible partnership involving a unique gem I can create... especially since my Ultimatrix has a DNA Lab..."

Season 1 Episode... Something Involving Rarity.

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Spike, still a massive Humungosaur-Dragon hybrid, allowed me to join him on his way to Carousel Boutique to meet his crush... who returns his affections at times because of my nanites giving him his beefy form. His Spike Knight day dream he should be having today, assuming the diamond dogs are involved, would have his skull crushed between this Spike's thighs.

"So what does Rarity want with you?" I ask, fully aware that I'm asking for exposition.

"Nothing much really," he replied with a shrug. "She needs somebody to dig up the gems she finds."

"For dresses?"

Spike looked down at me, "Who still puts gems on dresses? I guess enchanting them into a fashionable shield for the wearer can make sense..."

"Enchanting gems? When was that a thing?!"

Spike glances my way, his left claws twitching. "Since the second war on humanity. Their fight with each other was tearing Equestria and Griffonstone apart so they developed the perfect cuts and spells for weapons to combat the humans. Their war ended when everyone got together to declare war on them."

"Is there a history book I can borrow?!" I ask, not noticing Spike moving Applejack's stand out of my way with one hand.

"I know I have comics with stories based on the war," his claws held high, he declared, "The Power Ponies and Saving Grace vs the Evil Captain America and his Avenger League of America!" I cringed at the odd combination. I was about to add my input when he through a punch in the air with a huge grin. "Radiance fighting two Green Lanterns! The Mistress Mare-velous dueling honesty lassos with the Vile Wonder Woman!"

I'm not sure if he saw my squinted eyes or was too big and excited to care.

"The Electrifying Zapp vs the Mighty Thor... could've been better. I still can't believe Fili-Second was so close to losing to their mutant hedgehog minions! Those mostly blue dudes filled an entire two pages and she still won!" We showed up at the Boutique and I was ready to knock. "I can hardly comprehend how Red Hulk killed Saddle Ranger! The Saddle Ranger!"

This peaked my interest, "Wait. What?!"

"But dang was he surprised when she returned as World Breaker Saddle Ranger! Can you believe it?!"

I looked down at my Chrome Ultimatrix, the Hulk icon floating over it and glowing a very bright green. Am... AM I TRIGGERED, RIGHT NOW?! I turned the ring to see a very beefy Base Form Cell. Oh my gosh, this dragon geek is triggering me! "Should I knock... or...?"

Spike's fist flew through the door. If Sweetie Belle was any taller... I don't want to know! "Sorry, Sweetie!"


"Harder!" I cried. "I said harder, dang it! Work your hips!"

"How would that help?!" Rarity shouted, her mane frazzled.

"It helps you swing down faster!" Spike replied, using both fists.

"THIS WAS NOT THE TYPE OF HARVESTING I HAD IN MIND!" Sweetie screamed from below.

My Homeworld Gem and Diamond Head hybrid regenerated every shard taken off of me. Not even Spike could keep up with the rapid growth of my outer gem layer. I continued to rapidly fire shards into the pile of doors Spike broke. My DNA cooking led me to believe that Chromastone's influence on Diamond Head's race made their gem bodies have the capacity of physical change beyond shape and growing more gems made from them. I used the Homeworld Gem Collective DNA to give this hybrid the ability to change into any type of gem within my knowledge.

Because my core was a conduit instead of one stone on top of a light form, I could contain more knowledge than any two-gem fusion or brain could contain. I rapidly cycled through so many colors and types and clarities presented in Rarity's book on gemstones. Diamonds, Pearls, Opals, Jaspers, Topaz, Emerald, and so many others!

Sweetie clumsily chipped away at my chin and neck area while Spike wailed on my back, breaking chunks off and pausing long enough for my core to shield itself. Rarity went to work on my arms, switching every-so-often as she chipped pieces off the arm not firing at broken doors. "Alright, stop!"

Everyone stood as I reverted to normal, falling on my face. I dumped a cure potion on my head, getting back up brand new. Spike looked at me, "That was weird."

"That wasn't as painful as I imagined," I tucked in my shirt and smoothed my hair to my right and returning my ability to glance up. "Alright, I will send my bill."

Rarity frowned, "Your bill?"

"I need to help pay rent since the Royal Treasury is on lockdown," I informed her, passing a scroll from the princess. "Apparently a piece of the Sonic Hedgehog Herd believe they should control the Elements of Harmony; even going as far as to test those who want to join."

Sweetie arched an eyebrow, "What do those vermin have to do with the locked treasury?"

"Well, my ultimatrix has been getting news from an unknown source," I pulled up the holographic paper. "According to this 'Timely TARDIS,' some treasure along with the element of loyalty was stolen. Most of the loot including Rainbow's element was recovered."

"Wait," Spike pulled my arm up to his eye level. "What is Hum Drum doing there?!"

"I could ask why Achmed the Dead Terrorist is there, too. I don't see him and his... Jose jalapenjo sword running with that crowd."

"That skeleton is a thief AND A TERRORIST! This is..." she swooned on her couch. Sweetie Belle and I sucked in a breath as the three of us shouted, "THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!" She narrowed her eyes, "Rude."


MEANWHILE...

Underground far away, three large bipedal dogs of various sizes sat in a circle. "Five. Five tiny gems," the biggest one said sadly.

"I wish there was a magic spell to find gemstones so we can have more of the precious gems hiding out of our grasp," a tiny one said hopping in place. He stopped, "But we have no magic..."

The medium sized one was about to say something when the sound of metallic wheezing echoed through the caverns along with displeased howls of many other Diamond Dogs. The noise stopped once the medium dog stood, "What was-"

A brown stallion rushed past them, followed by armored dogs. As they were distracted a human kicked the three to the ground in one swift, impossible spinning kick. The dogs watched as a pair of red converse touched the ground, kicking dust. Their eyes traveled up the brown suit pants, the large stylized wolf belt buckle, following up the pinstripe coat hiding suspenders. Their eyes followed to a bedazzled purple bow tie then down his left arm when they heard a buzzing coming from underneath a fez, which was flicked to reveal a shiny light stick.

"Are you seriously still looking at my sonic screwdriver?" the guy asked. He slapped the small dog with his free hand but got no response. He fastened the fez to his head. "I practice that for almost a year and-"

The stallion returned, "I don't see Rarity, Doc." Doc tossed the fez onto the stallion's head.

Doc frowned, "Not even that? I wasn't even-"

"Doc, we have a discrepancy in time."

"Well, let's book it, Doctor," he was stopped by six paws latching onto his arm. "Go ahead, I'll catch up."

The Doctor trotted off as Doc swung the Diamond Dogs over his head, changing his stance to make the larger one land on his smaller buddies, effectively removing them long enough to run through the cavern and into a blue police box. "Have I told you how much I love these Cyberman arms?"

He entered the box, closing the wooden door. It was bigger on the inside with a console in the center having its buttons pressed by the Doctor. The lighting made the gold of his hourglass cutiemark gleam. The Doctor fixed his suit collar and orange tie, "Those Diamond Dogs are more grabby than originally. I sort of want to leave a parting gift."

"It can't be that bad."

"Remember what the Cybermares did to stop your transforming? how you initially felt when they were cyberforming your constantly regenerating body?"

Doc pulled his sleeve to show the silver right arm housing a second sonic screwdriver, "I am the Doctor Ten and Half 2.0. I am the Doc... and the exposition...?"

"Let's say they don't cyberform and we can leave Maze Rory here."

"Oh? Ooooooh."

Nothing howled at the moon that night. Rory was released into the night... luckily for the world at large, he died of a heart attack.

Still the first season, I guess?

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"Can I roll to poke the arm?" I asked.

Spike carefully pinched the dice, rolling them. "16. You grab the closest stick and poke the disembodied arm to your heart's content but this is going nowhere. I roll for observation." He tossed some colorful dust over the board.

I dig some more dice from my dice pouch, "Want me to roll for you, buddy?"

"I can do it."

"Are you-"

"I can do it." I hand him the dice and he drops them. "19."

"What is this; could it be? There is no blood trail that you see. There's a suspect in your midst; roll to catch or roll to miss." Zecora looked to Big Mac as he rolled. "That is a three; she has other places to be as you can see."

"How are your ribs, Big Mac?" I asked, waiting for Spike to roll for me.

"Good...? Again, why?"

"Has anybody noticed how fast the year has gone?" As soon as I said that, Rarity made her grand entrance. The way she carried herself signaled me to tune her out for a bit as she let out her woes in Spike's massive arms. I tried to reach the dice but Spike would slide them away. I rested my face on my left hand, "Hey, Rarity? Don't take anything new Fluttershy says to heart; dresses and magic gems are awesome."

Rarity looked up, "When did she say that? Is it in one of her interviews?!"

"Interviews? Wait. Photo Finish or Iron Will?"

"Whose Iron Will?"

I waved it off, "Forget I mentioned Iron Will. You need to tell Fluttershy how you feel."

"But I don't want to get in the way of her success!" she complained.

"She is a fashion model to make you happy despite what she wants. Clearly, you're both not happy and you should talk to each other."

Rarity pondered for a minute then looked up with uncertainty in her eyes, "Are you sure, darling?"

I got up and gave my most dramatic poise, my nose to the ceiling, "When have I been wrong, darling?"

"Let us count the days."

"Eeyup," Mac agreed as Spike nodded.

Zecora frowned, "Are we done training Spike or should I wait to take a hike?"

"You're good, Zecora. Thank you for the game." I gave my hand to help her out of her seat as she departed. "You were saying?"

"You said, Gilda was rude and was going to storm out of a Pinkie party. She wears a tough exterior, so what? She made it up to Fluttershy later." Rarity started, counting Spike's claws. "There was that time with Trixie... never mind."

"The Awesome Oscar is pleased." I bowed. "Pleased to hear you remember the lesson. On stage-"

"You exaggerate to entertain. Hush." She flipped her curls, "You were wrong about Diamond Tiara-"

I interrupted, "Again. She was controlling Gabbygums. She was not Gabbygums."

"Eeyup," Mac added to the conversation. "I was there."

Rarity smirked, "You said Ponyville was going to be swarmed by parasprites before Celestia's big visit."

"Pinkie Pie got rid of them by getting rid of the sprites at Sugarcube Corner." I corrected, "Those Sonic the Hedgehogs were unavoidable. I tried luring them with chili dogs but nooo. It couldn't be as easy as I wanted. Nopony listened, Twilight cast her spell, and I had to find a stereo system. If I had my suit I could've gotten rid of them."

"Where's ya suit?"

"Broken up in random locations. It's currently haunted and even if it wasn't I can't relearn everything to properly run it. I had assistance but they are... busy."

Rarity frowned, "Is there something we can do?"

"The apples can stop questioning where I got the pairs, you can talk to Fluttershy, and I can continue to help Spike control his strength," I replied, returning to my seat. "I forgot to ask if how Rainbow won the Young Flyers Competition."

"I'd... rather not... uh... spoil Rainbow's fun when you ask her, darling."

I sat back, my right arm hanging from the back, "She did but I kinda want to know who pulled an Icarus."

"Icarus?" Spike asked, looking to Big Macintosh who shrugged in response.

I smiled, "It is a story from my world. See, humans can't fly on their own so we build things. This story takes place before we built something that worked. A father and son duo was tasked to build to protect the King's treasure. To make sure nobody knew the solution to the maze the father, Daedalus, and his son, Icarus, were imprisoned in a tall tower. If they tried to escape; they fell to their death."

"Really?!" Spike asked, even more on the edge of his seat than he already was.

"So what do you mean by 'pull an Icarus'?" Rarity asked slowly. "Falling to your doom is dreadful just thinking about it!" She shivered, looking more nervous than expected.

I sat up, "Well, Daedalus made an escape plan. He gathered the feathers dropped by birds and made wings out of the feathers and wax for him and his son. On the day of their escape, he warned Icarus not to fly too close to the sun or his wings will melt and he will fall from the sky." I stood on my chair, changed into Jetray and flew around the room.

"Woah..." was all Spike could say. "What happened next?"

"The story ends with Icarus flying too close to the sun..." I fell to the floor next to the wooden Starswirl head. "And fell; his father was couldn't save him." I returned to my normal form, placing one foot on my chair while resting my arm on the bent knee. "Now, if the same thing were to happen to ponies; there would be pegasi around and that pony could be saved and continue to live and learn from their mistakes with the newfound knowledge that they're not promised a day and could die at any moment."

I locked eyes with Rarity and she couldn't break the connection. She knew that I knew. But did she know that I know that she knows that I knew?

"Go talk to Fluttershy. Tell her the truth."

Rarity dashed out the door at that moment.

Phoenix? Symbolism? Meh.

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Between Fluttershy's hooves, the ashes of Princess Celestia's pet spilled. Everyone looked down at the ashes on the ground. The shy pony was about to cry but stopped when I stepped up. "Oscar!"

"S'up?" I looked down. "Oh yeah."

"C-Can you fix her?" she pleaded, a tear threatening to fall.

"Philomena. Get up, you drama queen!" Celestia commanded as she walked up to our group. Everyone watched the ashes rise into the air, do some little tricks, shot fire, and some other neat stuff as I was dragged away in a gold aura. "Where's your sun card?"

"My sun card?"

"Mr. Conners normally I would suggest you leave Equestrian soil but you have an immobile giant robot head that could level a quarter of our planet," Celestia said, coldly. "Less if I notice the build up of power."

I got down on one knee in respect but my response never came out.

"All I need to hear is 'yes' or 'no'. Add a 'maybe' or 'I don't know'-"

"YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY 'MAYBE'... ON THE MOOOOOOOON!" I shouted. Celestia surrounded us in a sound proof time bubble and vaporized me... then reversed time slowly. I regained consciousness in constant pain that died down as Celestia reabsorbed her laser to finish the time spell. "Yes, ma'am."

The bubble dissipated and I stare into two tiny suns with magenta halos in Celestia's eyes, "Become a legal Equestrian citizen or I drop you, boy."

"Two Celestias so synchronized that they become a new Celestia with double sun power, double kindness, double threatening... a Celestia with a true spine," I said smirking. "As your sister has yet to say: the fun has been doubled."

The ponies and Phoenix perched on Spike watched but it didn't matter. With a snap of my finger, the world around us froze in darkness, the only light made a circle fit enough to fit the princess and magic skeleton. "Yes. Yes. No. Yes. No. Aw,
screw it," I said, lowering my blue hood from my skull and letting indigo flames spill from it. My form's appearance was a mixture of Sans and Louis with a bow and bone arrows hanging from chains. I attempted to scowl but facial expressions are impossible, especially for a Ghost Rider. "I hate interruptions. I would say it's my turn but with all due respect; I just wanted one sentence in and no hostility."

"Hostility is killing you on the spot; illegal Humans are not allowed in Equestria."

I magically removed Vlad Masters from Celestia's body, pulling him close. Vlad screamed, "How did you know?!"

"You seem new; your possession was slipping," I said, making him suffer from my penance stare and return to Equestria's spirit realm.

Celestia smiled, "Welcome to Equestria; your sun card will be in soon. I hope you can be Canterlot's exorcist next week?" As she said that, I reverted everything to normal including my form.

"Add the tea cakes and I won't be a stranger."


Not Even A Week Leter...

Celestia leaped into an alley, sliding into a large box; the only sign of the princess inside the cardboard box was her back half sitting behind a dumpster and her horn sticking out the closed end. I followed suit, activating my cloaking device, that only made my Ultimatrix invisible. As I began to see the mob shadows, I found my invisibility cloak and hid under it; my steps were muffled as I moved next to Celestia.

Celestia flicked her tail at me, "I thought you were going to stop the ghost problem; not make it worse!"

"Hey, I didn't say I was an exorcist," I poked my hand out to point out the mob of possessed nobles and high-class citizens that flew upside down, danced, flailed, flew without wings or magic... maybe floating is the word? "This is not my fault; Prince Blueblood didn't heed my warning."

"What did he do this time?"

My answer was interrupted by Luna Moon blocking our exit, both heads crazily sniffing the ground. She stopped, both heads lifting up to sing for the coming of a new hour, "Esuaceb tsuj, reverof ti gnignis eb ll'yeht tub... saw ti tahw gniwonk ton... TI GNIGNIS DETRATS... SEINOP EMOS~! DNEIRF YM, NO DNA NO SEOG TI~! DNE T'NSEOD TAHT GNOS EHT SI SIHT~!"

We used that opening to pull the box off Celestia and book it! I put up my cloak as we ran.

Behind we heard, "Come play with us..." coming from the alley.

"I punch a ghost, put it in a vat, badda-bing badda-boom! Ghost therapy!" I explain while pumping my systems with potions from storage through my Ultimatrix to keep my stamina up and hide the fact I couldn't keep up with nor borderline pass Celestia's running speed and endurance. "If I can't help it move on; I let it stew in essentially Ghost Jail or Ghost Highschool. Depends on the pecking order."

I cast Curaga, creating a healing circle around the two of us, giving the Princess energy to talk- "That doesn't seem safe."

"It isn't unless you monitor it," I replied, stopping the pump before I could get drunk or my blood became an unhealthy amount of health... if that makes sense. "But it's more dangerous what Blueblood did."

"WHAT DID HE DO?!"

"He brought some guys over and wanted to prove I was a sham," I began fidgeting with my Ultimatrix to look for a Deus Ex Machina. "I had so many layers of security and yet they were no match for him shutting the machine down, taking out the battery, and unplugging it from the backup power in one fell swoop."

I accidentally tapped the Ultimatrix face down, the last image I saw was a "64". My body floated behind Celestia as it shrunk, every visible part of me melded together into a white mass with stubby limbs. I felt hollow inside... not in an emo way but a literal hollow inside. My voice echoed as I asked, "What am I?"

The Doctor ran past, shouting, "Master Hand and Glover." He turned left at the end of the block, vanishing.

I looked down at the fingers making up my limbs; I brought my left leg and arm back to the thumb behind my head and snapped. The area flashed, every ghost leaving their host. I transformed into Gravattack, using my gravitational field to pull the spirits to me. Some tried to possess me but fell for my trap: I discovered the Ultimatrix's clothing function by complete accident a month prior. With the help of Rarity, Twilight, and a ginger unicorn stallion (who initially showed up for a book) I figured out how to outfit a good amount of transformations.

Ten by ten shrinking to just one by one; the ghosts were absorbed into the layer of soul gems outfitting Gravattack's body. I knew they would be useful but not so soon!


Maleficent frowned, watching as light and vibrant color returned to Canterlot. She took off her backpack, taking out a small, green hand mirror. A smirk won over her face, "Show me the pest, who dare disturb my take over as Empress of the New World!"

The mirror showed Gravattack; his limbs reforming so he could stand.

"A mere rock beast? I suppose I should show him his place," then she paused, watching the blue light blind the mirror briefly, now showing a young man in the rock monster's place. He held a zip lock bag of the shimmering gems on the stone creature's body. "Shapeshifter? He doesn't appear to be a threa-" She stopped, staring as a keyblade formed for the man to scrape his shoes clean. "Oh, Hades, no. I'm not messing with that guy! Screw this; Magnificent Maleficent, out!"

She teleported away, leaving behind a pillar of key black smoke billowing from the ground.