The Good Fandom Man

by Jake Witt

Still the first season, I guess?

"Can I roll to poke the arm?" I asked.

Spike carefully pinched the dice, rolling them. "16. You grab the closest stick and poke the disembodied arm to your heart's content but this is going nowhere. I roll for observation." He tossed some colorful dust over the board.

I dig some more dice from my dice pouch, "Want me to roll for you, buddy?"

"I can do it."

"Are you-"

"I can do it." I hand him the dice and he drops them. "19."

"What is this; could it be? There is no blood trail that you see. There's a suspect in your midst; roll to catch or roll to miss." Zecora looked to Big Mac as he rolled. "That is a three; she has other places to be as you can see."

"How are your ribs, Big Mac?" I asked, waiting for Spike to roll for me.

"Good...? Again, why?"

"Has anybody noticed how fast the year has gone?" As soon as I said that, Rarity made her grand entrance. The way she carried herself signaled me to tune her out for a bit as she let out her woes in Spike's massive arms. I tried to reach the dice but Spike would slide them away. I rested my face on my left hand, "Hey, Rarity? Don't take anything new Fluttershy says to heart; dresses and magic gems are awesome."

Rarity looked up, "When did she say that? Is it in one of her interviews?!"

"Interviews? Wait. Photo Finish or Iron Will?"

"Whose Iron Will?"

I waved it off, "Forget I mentioned Iron Will. You need to tell Fluttershy how you feel."

"But I don't want to get in the way of her success!" she complained.

"She is a fashion model to make you happy despite what she wants. Clearly, you're both not happy and you should talk to each other."

Rarity pondered for a minute then looked up with uncertainty in her eyes, "Are you sure, darling?"

I got up and gave my most dramatic poise, my nose to the ceiling, "When have I been wrong, darling?"

"Let us count the days."

"Eeyup," Mac agreed as Spike nodded.

Zecora frowned, "Are we done training Spike or should I wait to take a hike?"

"You're good, Zecora. Thank you for the game." I gave my hand to help her out of her seat as she departed. "You were saying?"

"You said, Gilda was rude and was going to storm out of a Pinkie party. She wears a tough exterior, so what? She made it up to Fluttershy later." Rarity started, counting Spike's claws. "There was that time with Trixie... never mind."

"The Awesome Oscar is pleased." I bowed. "Pleased to hear you remember the lesson. On stage-"

"You exaggerate to entertain. Hush." She flipped her curls, "You were wrong about Diamond Tiara-"

I interrupted, "Again. She was controlling Gabbygums. She was not Gabbygums."

"Eeyup," Mac added to the conversation. "I was there."

Rarity smirked, "You said Ponyville was going to be swarmed by parasprites before Celestia's big visit."

"Pinkie Pie got rid of them by getting rid of the sprites at Sugarcube Corner." I corrected, "Those Sonic the Hedgehogs were unavoidable. I tried luring them with chili dogs but nooo. It couldn't be as easy as I wanted. Nopony listened, Twilight cast her spell, and I had to find a stereo system. If I had my suit I could've gotten rid of them."

"Where's ya suit?"

"Broken up in random locations. It's currently haunted and even if it wasn't I can't relearn everything to properly run it. I had assistance but they are... busy."

Rarity frowned, "Is there something we can do?"

"The apples can stop questioning where I got the pairs, you can talk to Fluttershy, and I can continue to help Spike control his strength," I replied, returning to my seat. "I forgot to ask if how Rainbow won the Young Flyers Competition."

"I'd... rather not... uh... spoil Rainbow's fun when you ask her, darling."

I sat back, my right arm hanging from the back, "She did but I kinda want to know who pulled an Icarus."

"Icarus?" Spike asked, looking to Big Macintosh who shrugged in response.

I smiled, "It is a story from my world. See, humans can't fly on their own so we build things. This story takes place before we built something that worked. A father and son duo was tasked to build to protect the King's treasure. To make sure nobody knew the solution to the maze the father, Daedalus, and his son, Icarus, were imprisoned in a tall tower. If they tried to escape; they fell to their death."

"Really?!" Spike asked, even more on the edge of his seat than he already was.

"So what do you mean by 'pull an Icarus'?" Rarity asked slowly. "Falling to your doom is dreadful just thinking about it!" She shivered, looking more nervous than expected.

I sat up, "Well, Daedalus made an escape plan. He gathered the feathers dropped by birds and made wings out of the feathers and wax for him and his son. On the day of their escape, he warned Icarus not to fly too close to the sun or his wings will melt and he will fall from the sky." I stood on my chair, changed into Jetray and flew around the room.

"Woah..." was all Spike could say. "What happened next?"

"The story ends with Icarus flying too close to the sun..." I fell to the floor next to the wooden Starswirl head. "And fell; his father was couldn't save him." I returned to my normal form, placing one foot on my chair while resting my arm on the bent knee. "Now, if the same thing were to happen to ponies; there would be pegasi around and that pony could be saved and continue to live and learn from their mistakes with the newfound knowledge that they're not promised a day and could die at any moment."

I locked eyes with Rarity and she couldn't break the connection. She knew that I knew. But did she know that I know that she knows that I knew?

"Go talk to Fluttershy. Tell her the truth."

Rarity dashed out the door at that moment.