An interactive memoir written by the founder of the Wonderbolts.
Firefly has lived a full life, and she has a lot to be proud of. Not only did she serve her country as a defender of the ponies, but her elite flight squadron stands as one of the greatest accomplishments in equine military history. In fact, their inspiring maneuvers and fierce camaraderie will continue to shape the future of the EUP and Equestrian society in general for generations to come. For now, however, Firefly has other priorities. Old and retired, she has decided that now would be the best time for her to write out her memoirs.
However, this won't be any ordinary autobiography. Just yesterday, Firefly received a gift from the newest Wonderbolt recruit, Private Posey. It is a book that is said to be magic. According to Posey, depending on what you write in it, it will ask you questions. Although skeptical, Firefly is willing to give it a shot, if only to be polite. Besides, she does like the idea of sharing her awesome story with an audience, even if that audience is a book.
And the part of the book will be played by you, dear reader.
That's right, this is an Ask Fic. If you have any questions for the retired Wonderbolt General Firefly, feel free to leave them in the Comments below. Rated Teen for minor swearing, heavy themes, and due to the fact that I have no idea what you guys are going to ask.
Cover art provided by the amazingly talented JazzieQ.
"Let me just stop you right there. I haven't been a general in quite some time; you don't need to call me that."
"S-sorry, ma'am. Anyway, I heard you were planning on writing your memoirs soon, so I thought this would help."
"So you got me a journal? I appreciate the gesture, Ms. Posey, but I do have my own paper."
"Oh, it's not just a journal, Gen— I-I mean, Ms. Firefly. The book is magic."
"Magic, you say?"
"Oh, yes. According to the pony that sold it to me, the book will ask you questions when you write in it."
"Questions? Questions about what?"
"Mainly about your life, I believe. I don't know, I haven't tried it myself. B-but I'm sure it'll help you organize your thoughts."
"Hmm. I see. Well, thank you very much for the gift, Ms. Posey. I hope your new life in the Wonderbolts will be as fulfilling as mine was."
"Th-thank you. That means a lot coming from you, Gen— I-I mean, Ms. Firefly. W-well, I'd best be going. Enjoy the book!"
"I'm sure I will. Take care, Ms. Posey."
***
Alright, Mr. Book. It's time you and I got properly acquainted. Mind you, I am a bit apprehensive, but I'm also very excited. I'd much rather share my awesome story with an audience than just keep this to myself. And believe me, Mr. Book. My story is awesome. No, I'm not just saying that to fuel my own ego. My accomplishments are still being lauded to this day, and I'm proud of every single one of them.
I suppose I should start off by introducing myself. My name is Firefly, though most ponies know me better as General Firefly. However, I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me that. I haven't been a general for quite some time now.
As you probably have guessed, I am a military pony. I was right there during the founding of the EUP; Equestria's first standing military after the banishment of Nightmare Moon. Princess Celestia had appointed me to lead the Pegasus Division, and I was determined to live up to that distinction. Maybe a bit too determined, thinking back on it. Some ponies say that I went above and beyond the call of duty on that front. But do I regret it? Not in the slightest, my friend.
For you see, I can claim something that few other ponies can claim. Ponies like Starswirl the Bearded; Commander Hurricane; Princess Celestia herself. And that claim is simply this: I managed to make history.
When threats against our home began to wane, I didn't see that as an excuse for my squadron to be grounded. Instead, we continued to train ourselves in mind, body, and spirit. Then, on the anniversary of Equestria's first celestial year of peace, we put our training to good use with a celebratory airshow. I can still remember everything down to the last second about that day. The wind blowing through my mane and coat; my wingponies keeping pace with every single swoop and dive I made; the cheers from the ponies below; the adrenaline coursing through my veins like wildfire. Not since I earned my Cutie Mark did I feel so, alive. And truth be told, it's a feeling I kinda miss. Don't get me wrong; I retired from active service for a damn good reason. Still, it would be nice to fly like that again...
Oh, my apologies. I've been rambling so much that I forgot the most important part of the evening. That part is where I made history. As it turns out, that passion we put into our little stunt show was enough to trigger something deep within our hearts. Our inner magic practically exploded from our bodies, and it ignited the night sky with a shower of technicolor lightning. Words cannot describe the euphoria I felt in that moment. It wasn't just my inner magic practically pouring out of every cell of my body, oh no. It was the audience, cheering my name. Our names. We were an inspiration to the ponies that watched us, regardless of what tribe they hailed from. And just to put the icing on the cake, I saw one little pegasus filly at the end of the night. I'll never forget what she said to me:
"When I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"
That's when I made my decision. I wanted to continue to inspire ponies like that. Not only was it my special talent, but it was something the pegasi of Equestria needed. Before that day, pegasi were bound by military traditions that were a carry-over from pre-unification times. We still maintain those traditions today, but in this land of peace we call Equestria, that niche shouldn't be the only thing we should strive for. There's more to flying than just being a force to be reckoned with. And I wanted to show that to everypony.
That's right, Mr. Book. I am the founder of the elite flight team known as the Wonderbolts. And even after my retirement, they are still going strong. They still defend the land as a branch of the EUP, but that's not all they do. They also help monitor the weather from our home in Cloudsdale. And during times of peace (such as what we have right now), they dazzle and inspire ponies with death-defying stunts. I can't speak for every pegasus in Equestria, but for the majority I've spoken to, being a Wonderbolt is a goal that they aspire to. And I was the one to get that ball rolling.
There. Now you know some basic stuff about me, Mr. Book. I guess now I just leave you around a bit and wait for you to ask me questions. I don't know how much control I have over this process, but I hope you'll remain, tasteful. I mean, I don't mind delving into more intimate territory every now and then; just don't expect me to give you all the naughty details. I have to draw a line in the sand somewhere.
So, yeah. I'm not sure how to end this, so I'll just say I hope to hear from you soon.
...
No, it still feels weird saying that to a book. Ah well, I've already made my bed. Might as well sleep in it.
Have you ever encountered an Emu? If you have, did you defeat it in the resulting battle? If you have, did the battle shake the world with it's intensity? Tell me about it.
...
Okay, I don't want to come across as this cantankerous old nag with no sense of humor. I love a good joke as much as the next pony, even if my former squadron might say otherwise. But at the same time, these are supposed to be my memoirs. So for your sake, I hope not all of your questions are going to be like this, Mr. Book. Otherwise, I'm going to throw you into the nearest thundercloud and let the lightning incinerate you.
To answer your question, no. I have not encountered an emu, nor have I fought one. I've had my fair share of world-shaking battles, though.
What did you do before the EUP? Why did you join the military?
Ah, now that's more like it. Well, for starters, I've actually been a military pony my whole life. Before the EUP was founded, I was part of the Cloudsdale Militia. See, before Nightmare Moon was banished, Equestria had no need for a unified military. Other nations knew that the Royal Pony Sisters were the ones who vanquished the reality-altering beast known as Discord, and most of them didn't want to provoke them. Of course, there were a select few hubristic idiots who ignored that, so we still needed to defend ourselves. Thus, each city formed small standing armies that were loosely connected to one another. We were all fighting for the same thing, but we all had our own command structures and whatnot.
As for why I joined the military, well, it's because of my role models. Yes, that's right. The great General Firefly had somepony she looked up to. Everypony has someone like that. And in my case, I had three. They were Commander Hurricane, Private Pansy, and my grandfather, Aquilinus.
There isn't a pegasus alive who doesn't know Commander Hurricane and Private Pansy. They were among the six ponies who founded our fine nation of Equestria, after all. But, few ponies know about their heroic deeds before that time. My grandfather Aquilinus was one of those few ponies. He served under Hurricane in the military back in the day, and he became something of a legend himself. He would often tell me stories about how he flew at Hurricane's side, fighting terrible foes such as the Locust King Abbadon and the nomadic Griffon Hordes. And when I listened to those stories, I always imagined myself being part of the action. I wanted to be out there, protecting my home and the ponies I cared about from those that wished them harm. So when I came of age, I enrolled in Cloudsdale's military academy and became part of their militia.
Now, my grandfather and Commander Hurricane were both combat-oriented ponies. They were knowns as being fierce warriors who led others to victory. Private Pansy doesn't have a legacy like that, and Grandpa Aquilinus never spoke about her in great detail. So, why do I admire her as well? Simple. She did something Commander Hurricane couldn't. She knew when not to fight.
That's right, I'm referring to the founding of Equestria as told in the Hearth's Warming pageant. That's one part of pegasus history that I didn't learn from Grandpa Aquilinus. No, he wasn't this old curmudgeon who was set in his ways and didn't get along with the other pony tribes. Trust me, you'd be hard-pressed to find a pony like that, even back when I was a young filly. It's just that he had a great amount of respect for Commander Hurricane. From what he told me in his stories, Hurricane saved his life on more than one occasion. Because of this, he always got a bit defensive whenever Hurricane was portrayed in a negative light. For a time, I felt that way, too. My young mind just couldn't comprehend a great warrior like Hurricane falling to some lousy snow spirits.
But as I got older, I began to see the importance of Private Pansy's mentality. Combat is not always an ideal solution. Sometimes, it's not even a solution at all. Private Pansy stretched out an olive branch when her CO refused to do so, and though she defied his orders, she managed to help Clover the Clever and Smart Cookie save all of ponykind from a wintery grave. Who wouldn't admire a pony like that?
Were there other careers you were interested in?
Not exactly. My mother wanted me to be an artist, but after I got my Cutie Mark, she knew it wasn't going to happen. I'm a military pony, just like my grandfather before me. And I wouldn't change a damn thing about it.
What do you look for and expect in future Wonderbolt members?
Well, first of all, that's not really my department anymore. You know, me being retired and all. But back when I was the Wonderbolts' CO, I did have a few things in mind when I was looking for new recruits. A lot of these traits were obvious, such as the passion to be your best and the skill to back it up. I looked for ponies who could think on their feet; ponies who didn't hesitate in the face of danger; ponies willing to serve and defend their country. However, there is one trait that I looked for above all of these. And that trait is that I wanted ponies who were team players.
Let's not kid ourselves, Mr. Book. Nopony is perfect. If I was looking for perfection, I wouldn't have recruited anypony. Even in a group of elite flyers, we all have something that we struggle with. So I wanted ponies who work together and overcome those flaws. Ponies who was compliment each other's strengths and cover each other's weaknesses. After all, there is no "I" in the word team.
I'll give you a perfect example from my days in the Cloudsdale Militia. This was my first taste of real combat, and yes, it was world-shaking. Or at least, I considered it to be such.
***
I was in the Mess Hall, just about to dig into a delicious chocolate cake when the alarm sounded. Part of me was upset that I was missing out on dessert, but at the same time, I was itching for some real action. I darted out of the Mess Hall and flew to the Briefing Room as fast as my wings could carry me.
It turns out my CO, Captain Monsoon, had just received a communique from the princesses. Weather patterns in the Neighgean Sea were becoming highly erratic. Several airships and sea-fairing vessels had gone missing in that area due to spontaneous water spouts and typhoons. Being a weather-related matter, it was obviously the duty of the pegasi to investigate, and Cloudsdale was already on the move. Truth be told, I felt very miffed by this. I was a soldier, not a weather engineer. Why did I have to be called away from dessert for something so mundane? I had half a mind to march up to Captain Monsoon and complain, but somepony held me back.
When I looked to see who was grabbing my shoulder, my mood didn't improve. She was a timid-looking pony with a powder-blue coat and pink mane with a yellow streak. Already, I could hear a shrill sound coming from her mouth as she tried to whisper to me. I knew she meant well, but as soon as I heard that sound, I could feel my ears start to burn and twitch. It didn't matter what she was going to say; she was bound to set me off.
Her name was Thistle Whistle. She was my childhood friend growing up, and she joined the Cloudsdale Militia the same time I did. Now, I call her a "childhood friend," but honestly, um, how do I put this? I didn't really consider her to be a friend at first. In fact, more often than not, she got on my nerves. See, Thistle's special talent was, well, whistling. And she would whistle whenever she got nervous. And she was a very nervous pony in general, always worrying about every little thing. Yeah, she wasn't the kind of pony you would want to be with for an extended period of time. Heck, I only befriended her because nopony else would.
And it was because of that damn habit of hers that we got in trouble that day. Though looking back on it now, it was really my fault.
Thistle whispered something to me, obviously trying to calm me down. I don't really remember what she said specifically, but that's because I wasn't really listening to her. But I could hear her. Oh boy, could I hear her. Every time she even said the letter s, she sounded like a squeaky toy you would give to a toddler. And her whistling directly into my ear only made things worse. Instead of calming me down, it only made me more agitated. Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore.
"Oh, for Pete's sake, Thistle! Shut up!" I boomed. "We both know I'm twice the soldier you'll ever be, so forgive me if I'm a little pissed that we won't be seeing any combat! I don't need a lecture from you, especially since you don't know what the buck you're talking about!"
That little outburst of mine got everypony's attention, including Captain Monsoon. As punishment, Thistle and I were assigned to investigate the weather anomaly, and we were to stick together as a wing pair. Suffice to say, I was not happy about that. I would've complained, but I was already in enough hot water. So I just saluted him while giving Thistle a dirty look. Already, I thought I knew how this would go down. I'd have to do all the work while making sure that Thistle was able to keep up. Thistle wasn't a bad flyer per se, but she always liked to play things safe. That was the opposite of how I did things, and I was determined not to let her hold me back. Especially not for a mission I believed was going to be just a routine weather check.
I couldn't have been more wrong if I tried.
***
It wasn't long before we were given the order to scramble. Thistle and I formed up behind Captain Monsoon as he flew out ahead. Right away, none of us felt right. The skies were grey and menacing, and the winds felt far too strong. It took sheer force of will to keep myself from shivering as the oppressive atmosphere chilled me to the bone. All the while, I had to contend with Thistle's nervous whistling as she shook like a leaf. I mentally prepared myself to do what I did best, hoping it would be enough to keep her out of trouble.
Suddenly, the great ocean seemed to open up before us as a giant whirlpool manifested itself. The skies above rumbled and crackled with lightning, throwing a lot of ponies off-guard. And then, she appeared out of the whirlpool.
She was the most foul-looking monstrosity I had ever laid eye on (at least up to this point in my career). From the waist up, she was a giant mare with six heads. Each head sported a unicorn horn pulsating with a different colored aura, and her wild manes looked like they had been made out of a mixture of storm clouds and sea foam. Around her waist, the heads of several hungry-looking wolves snarled and snapped their jaws. Below that, she had what looked like a long serpent's tail stretching all the way down to the bottom of the ocean.
I often heard legends about this creature from sailors and airship pilots alike, but until now, I always wrote those legends off as drunken ramblings. It was the great sea monster, Scylla. And her dark magic was interfering with the weather out on the high seas.
Two things came to mind at that moment. The first thing was excitement. I wanted combat, and now I got it. I was ready to show my stuff. The second thing was a strengthening of my resolve. I still felt it was my duty to give my wingpony the strength to hold her own while I taught this she-devil some manners.
See, my special talent is inspiring others. I am a beacon of hope, encouraging ponies to keep moving forward in the face of doubt. This is represented by my Cutie Mark: Two blue lightning bolts signifying both literal and metaphorical light. My maneuvers set the sky ablaze, lighting the way for ponies who don't have the courage to fight the darkness alone.
However, there's a downside to this talent of mine. And it's what almost claimed my life that day.
As soon as we were given the order, I charged ahead at Scylla. Magic erupted from her horns and seeded the clouds above. From them, large typhoons sprouted up. Many of us were thrown off-course by the gale-force winds, but I kept flying. I zoomed around Scylla's wolf heads, trying to distract them while the others counteracted her magic. Thistle flew at my wing the best she could, my guiding light giving her strength. Everything was going fine, but then, I got cocky.
The downside of my special talent is that I don't know when to back off. Fighting in the face of doubt is noble, but sometimes, a little thing called "reality" tends to get in the way. I'm actually quite lucky to be alive at this ripe old age with all the risks I've taken, and that's mainly due to my wingponies reining me in. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
After flying so close to the sea for a while, my wings began to feel heavy from the sea air. I tried my best to ignore this, as I usually do in situations like that. But as the fight dragged on, my maneuvers became sloppy. Suddenly, I heard a high-pitched whistle ring out from behind me. Aggravated, I broke off from my attack and made a beeline to Thistle.
"What in Celestia's name are you doing?!" I yelled, straining my voice over the multiple storms. "This is no time to be scared, Thistle! That monster needs to be dealt with, and—"
I was interrupted by a collection of piercing howls. Looking down, I saw that it was coming from Scylla's wolf heads. Soon after, the howls were drowned out by the sound of rushing water. A giant tidal wave erupted from Scylla's body, spreading out in all directions as she roared in pain. That sight shook me to my very core. My wings were so drenched with sea water that I couldn't have possibly avoided that on my own. If it wasn't for Thistle's nervous whistling, I would've been a goner.
As it turns out, the rest of the squadron had managed to counter Scylla's spells with their own maneuvers. That tidal wave was her last-ditch effort to take some ponies with her as she disappeared into the depths of the ocean. Slowly but surely, the skies cleared and the waters settled. Our mission was a success.
Yeah, I wasn't the one to land the final blow in that one. In fact, I was the only one brave and/or foolish enough to distract the wolf heads while the rest of the team did the heavy lifting. But I count that as a win in my book. Because I learned something important about teamwork that day. While I gave Thistle the courage to keep flying, she was able to let me know when things were getting too dangerous for me to handle. She saved my life, and because of that, I gained a new appreciation for her.
...
Where was I going with this? Oh, yes. What I used to look for in future Wonderbolts. Sorry, I tend to ramble in my old age. The point is that even if you aren't the best flyer in the world, as long as you have somepony who can make up for those weaknesses, you've got what it takes to be a Wonderbolt. At least that's how I felt; I'm not sure if things have changed since then. Just between you and me, Mr. Book, I hope they never do.
So, you thought I was joking huh? I can see how you would think that, but I actually was serious.
Have you ever fought anything of considerable size and strength? Like say, an ostrich or cassowary? They have deadly kicks. And yes, I am dead serious.
You are certainly a strange one, Mr. Book.
Yes, I have fought plenty of opponents of considerable size and strength. There's Scylla, who I mentioned before, the Neko Sorceress Catrina, a few wyverns and rocs here and there, and plenty more besides. None of them were flightless birds, though. I don't understand why you're obsessed with those things.
What are your hobbies?
Well, my biggest hobby used to be stunt flying, but seeing as I'm old and retired, I can't really do that anymore. Nowadays, I'm very much into history and literature. I have a book club that meets every Tuesday, and on the weekends, I volunteer at the Cloudsdale Historical Society. It's not the most popular museum in Equestria, but I honestly just see it as an excuse to see all of the exhibitions. They have a very interesting collection of relics from the Griffon War, which my grandfather Aquilinus fought in.
What was your old squadron like? Did you have any favorite wingponies or friends?
I flew in my fair share of squadrons, but I presume that you're talking about the original Wonderbolts. The original team had six members, all of whom performed at that celestial year of peace celebration. There was Fairweather, Thistle Whistle, Star Catcher, Nimbus, Wind Cutter, and myself.
I already told you a bit about Thistle Whistle, but I want to emphasize something. If you just met her for the first time, you'd never believe that she would be cut out for the EUP, let alone the Wonderbolts. No, it wasn't because of her whistling habit; that just made her an easy target for bullies. She was just a big worrywart. She never liked taking risks, even if it was our only option. That's not typically a good trait for an elite flyer pulling off death-defying maneuvers. But she made it through the ranks of the EUP and into my squadron for one simple reason. I vouched for her.
Thistle Whistle may have been a nervous wreck, but she didn't let it stop her from doing her best. And truth be told, her best was pretty damn good. When she put her mind to it, she could fly circles around every single bully that ever picked on her. Plus, as I mentioned earlier, having a cautious pony on the team wasn't really a bad thing. There were several times that she managed to save my flank with her whistle; not just in the battle with Scylla.
Star Catcher was an interesting case. One look at her, and you could tell she was destined to be a show pony. A golden mane that glistened in the midday sun; crystal blue eyes; a coat as white as snow. And her maneuvers reflected her grace and dignity. Always gentle swoops; never sharp dives. She had a lot of training as a sky dancer, and it showed.
However, this meant that Star Catcher loved being the center of attention. She always had to be extra flashy so that ponies would notice her. That's great for being a stunt flyer, but in combat, there are more important things than just looking cool. Sadly, she had to learn that the hard way when a wyvern managed to get the drop on her during one of our missions. Her smooth movements were too easy for her opponent to intercept, and Wind Cutter had to bail her out before she got herself killed. In my experience, that's usually the only way ponies in our line of work learn anything.
Actually, there was one thing Star Catcher liked more than attention. That thing was ice cream. You could always tell when Star Catcher had a bad day when she confined herself to her bunk with a tub of vanilla oat swirl and a spoon. Not only that, but whenever the Wonderbolts were on tour, the first place Star Catcher would go to was the nearest ice cream parlor, just to try out the local flavors. Seriously, if she was stranded on a desert island with only one source of food, it would be an ice cream tree. And no, I'm not making a joke. She actually said that once. Strangely enough, she never gained any weight from all that ice cream, though I think we can chalk that up to her strict regimen of flight training.
The youngest member of the team was Nimbus, or Nimble Nimbus, as well liked to call him. Nimbus was one of the first new recruits in the EUP, and like most new recruits, he was a hoofful. Every time I looked into those bright green eyes of his, they always reflected an overflowing amount of enthusiasm. Luckily, he managed to match that enthusiasm with his skill; mainly his speed. And my word, was this guy fast. I'm not ashamed to admit it; Nimbus was the fastest member of the squadron. When he got going, all you'd see was this bright golden streak zooming across the sky. Unlike Star Catcher, his maneuvers were tight and unpredictable. Not only did he fly fast; he thought fast, too. You'd be hard-pressed to catch him off-guard in any situation, and he could weave around obstacles like nopony's business. Hey, we didn't call him nimble for nothing.
That's not to say his enthusiasm and speed were always welcome. Unless you knew him for a while, Nimbus was nearly impossible to talk to. He would speak at a mile a minute, even when things were relatively calm. It's like he was always in a rush to get something done. This led to a lot of instances when his snap judgement made things worse rather than better. To this day, I don't know where he got all that energy.
Wind Cutter pretty much had the opposite mentality of Star Catcher. Like me, he was a military pony born and bred. And this was perfectly reflected in his flight style. Lateral rolls; wing slashes; temporary cyclones. He was a master of all kinds of combat maneuvers, and it wasn't a good idea to get on his bad side. It didn't help that those steely silver eyes of his felt like they could stare right into your soul. Yeah, he wasn't a very cheery pony. At least, not on the surface.
Don't get me wrong; Wind Cutter was not this straight-faced soldier who took everything seriously. Oh, he was never good in peacetime situations, but that's not to say he didn't try. He was actually quite the conversationalist once you got him going. You just had to be wary of his sense of humor. He loved black comedy, and his delivery was so stone-faced and deadpan that you couldn't tell if he was joking or not. Between you and me, Mr. Book, I think he secretly enjoyed that.
And finally, there was Admiral Fairweather. He actually got his start as an airship captain before getting transferred to my squadron, hence his rank. See, when the EUP was first founded, aerial dreadnoughts and gunships were churned out in full force. Apparently, a few inventor ponies overreacted to Nightmare Moon's banishment and set to work to create an arsenal to make up for her absence. Six months in, however, the airships hardly saw any use. They were only really deployed to help other nations; never to defend our own borders. As such, Fairweather relinquished his command of the Airship Platoon and decided to serve under me instead. Despite that, he still wanted to be called admiral, even though I technically outranked him. Good luck figuring that one out.
You'd think that an airship admiral like Fairweather wouldn't last a day as a stunt flyer, but that's where you're wrong. His special talent is keeping the skies clear, and he even went so far as to customize his airship to reflect that. The stallion was a genius when it came to weather. He could sense changes in the wind, he tore through storm clouds like a hot knife through butter, and his combat skills were far from rusty. True, he was a bit slower and more methodical than the rest of us, but he managed to keep up.
In fact, I was so impressed with his skills that I named him my successor when I retired. He's now the Wonderbolts' CO, and from what I hear, he's doing a great job. Of course, he's had experience being an airship captain, so whipping new recruits into shape is no problem for him. Especially considering the Fairweather always liked to run a tight ship. As soon as the bugle playing reveille was heard, he was the first one up and about, clearing up the skies just so the sun would shine through the windows and wake up the heavy sleepers. That's not to say he didn't have a fun side, though. He sure did love his cider, and you would not believe the stories he would tell once you loosened him up. I wonder if his new position has given him the time to indulge in such things.
As for favorites, well, there is one pony I have in mind. I have a great fondness for all of my comrades, but if I had to pick the one I liked to fly with the most, it'd have to be Thistle Whistle. Even when she got on my nerves, she was with me since the beginning. She taught me a thing or two about strengths and weaknesses, and even when she was panicking like crazy, she never let me down. I consider her to be the Private Pansy to my Commander Hurricane. In fact, she'd be leading the Wonderbolts right now if things were, different.
Where is Thistle Whistle now?
I'm sad to say this, Mr. Book, but dear sweet Thistle has passed away. She didn't die in combat like most ponies expected her to, but that doesn't make her death any less tragic.
It happened one terrible winter; just after Hearth's Warming. We were scheduled for an airshow over in Canterlot to ring in the new year, and of course we were all very excited about it. However, Thistle had caught the feather flu a few weeks before. She never told me about it. She never told anypony about it. She'd just whistle and cough, trying her best to hide her illness. And the worst part is that I never suspected a thing. After all, she always whistled when she was nervous, and she always claimed that her coughs were the result of congestion.
But then, right in the middle of our performance, her strength faltered. In case you don't know, the feather flu causes your feathers to molt prematurely, and any strenuous activity means they come loose. Worst-case scenario, your wings become bald after just a few flaps. Without feathers, you can't fly, even with your inner magic. And that's what happened to Thistle Whistle. All of her feathers flew out, and she dropped like a stone. I stopped the routine and rushed to her rescue, catching her before she hit the ground and flying her to the nearest hospital.
Unfortunately, it was too late for her. Since she kept the disease a secret for so long, the virus wreaked havoc on her body unencumbered. She was in that bed for three whole days, just moaning and whistling and hacking up a storm. I visited her whenever I could, hoping that my guiding light would be enough to pull her through.
Suffice to say, it wasn't. On that third day, I walked in to see that she barely had enough strength to move her head. Her whistle was so sad and weak that I pined for the days when she'd squeak in my ear. She was a sad sight indeed.
I walked over to her bed and asked her a simple question: Why? Why did she hide this from us? We were her comrades; we would've taken care of her. I knew she trusted me; she's always trusted me. It just didn't make sense.
And then, Thistle used the last of her strength to look at me and smile. I will never forget her last words:
"Because I didn't want to let you down, Firefly."
That just tore me up inside. It's like she knew how I felt about her. Even when she had her own problems, she was always more worried about me. No matter who teased her; no matter what problems she had; none of that ever mattered to her. She wanted to be my wing to the bitter end. I couldn't decide whether to be sad or happy about that. I still can't decide, even after all these years.
I miss her, Mr. Book. I miss her so, so much. Her funeral was one of the few times I allowed myself to cry. I even had the Wonderbolts give her the Twenty-One Thunderbolt Salute as she was being laid to rest. It was only fitting for a fine soldier like her, even if she didn't act like one.
Rest in peace, Thistle Whistle. You were a wonderful wingpony and a good friend. I'll never forget you...
Have you ever had a pet kiwi? Also, is the reason you're afraid to fight any large ratites because of they're imposing size and deadly kicks? Or are you just afraid you'll die from their sheer majesty?
Hey, I never said anything about being afraid of flightless birds, Mr. Book. I just said that I never had to fight them in my career as a soldier. There's a difference.
As for pets, well, I've never had a kiwi. I'm from Cloudsdale; we're kinda limited to pet who can fly. My sister Medley had a pet bluejay, though. She named him Arpeggio, and she liked teaching him how to sing. Yeah, my sister and I took very different paths in life.
What was it like forming the Wonderbolts for the first time? How difficult was it?
Actually, it wasn't that hard. Keep in mind, we had just celebrated our first celestial year of peace. Restructuring a branch of the military during peacetime was not going to be an issue. Especially since I was aiming to make the Wonderbolts more than a simple military strike force, which is something Princess Celestia approved of.
Most pegasi recognized my idea as something that would benefit Equestria, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't encounter some resistance. Older ponies who grew up on the battlefield thought that I was taking capable soldiers out of the military and making them mere entertainers. This wasn't the case at all, obviously. But, that's the thing with new, radical ideas. Not everyone accepts change right away.
Of course now, I get to laugh in the face of all the naysayers who thought the Wonderbolts were a bad idea. The pegasi of Equestria are still as dedicated as ever to defending our boarders. The only difference between then and now is that it's not all they do. They also inspire hope off of the battlefield and give young ponies role models to look up to. That is what I had in mind when I formed the Wonderbolts, and I stand by that decision. Admiral Fairweather has been doing a terrific job keeping that dream alive, and I hope it will remain alive for generations to come.
Did you ever fall in love? Nimble seems pretty interesting.
You mean Nimbus? I don't know where you got that idea, Mr. Book. Sure, Nimbus was a great comrade and all, but I could never imagine myself falling for him. There's nothing wrong with him per se; he's a handsome stallion with a lot of passion and enthusiasm, and I respect that. He just wasn't really my type. That and his tendency to rush everything he did made me a bit skeptical about how fast he was when it came to, certain activities. I'll just leave it at that.
No, my heart actually belongs to another. Though truth be told, I never thought I'd end up saying that. Growing up, I didn't really give much thought to romance. I don't know, it just wasn't a priority to me. I already had my comrades and wingponies, as well as lovely sister and my wonderful parents. I honestly wasn't looking for anything more in my life. Sure, Medley would sometimes set me up with somepony or another while I was off-duty, but those dates never really panned out.
And then, I met Dragonfly. He was the stallion that really opened my eyes to what this love business is all about, and to be honest, we met quite by accident. He wasn't one of the suitors Medley somehow managed to find for me, nor was he a Wonderbolt recruit. He had no presence in my life until the day I met him. And that is a day I won't be forgetting anytime soon. But before I can get into that, I should probably set the stage.
***
To the southeast of Equestria, there is a nation known as the Neko Shogunate. To this day, we don't know all that much about them other than the fact that they're an isolationist society that does not believe in outside influence. Because of this, nopony has never set foot in the mountains the nekos call home. Some say it's out of fear; others say it's out of respect. I lean towards the latter myself. One of the sacred tenants of the EUP is that we never, ever start wars. Princess Celestia made that very clear when we first started out.
Now, for the longest time, the nekos never raised a paw against us, either. Then, about a year after the formation of the Wonderbolts (it might've been two years; I can't say for certain), a wicked sorceress named Catrina attacked our land. Because we know so little about the Neko Shogunate, we don't know if this was an attack from the Shogunate itself or if Catrina was just a rogue warmonger. All we knew was that like the dark centaur Tirek, she was aiming to steal our magic and use it for her own selfish schemes.
But she wasn't just going after the magic of us ponies, oh no. She was also after dragon magic. Which is where Dragonfly comes into the picture.
See, ponies don't know all that much about dragons. We know they're out there, and we know how to deal with them should they become a threat. But other than that, you'd have a hard time finding anypony who could paint a coherent picture of dragons without relying on myths and legends. Dragonfly is one such pony.
Dragonfly's special talent is researching dragons. Of course, a lot of ponies who know jack squat about dragons thought that he was crazy and/or suicidal. They still think that, actually. I guess that's why he enjoyed the company of dragons more than ponies. But really, I don't blame the guy. He was just following his destiny, just like any other pony.
Anyway, our paths crossed during Catrina's campaign. One hot summer day, we received intel from the front lines that she was planning to attack the Great Dragon Migration. That was just the kind of intel I was hoping for. Up to this point, Catrina was focusing on land-based combat. That wasn't our forte. But if she was planning on going after a dragon migration, she had to get herself airborne somehow. Which meant she was fighting on our turf, which gave us the advantage. As soon as I got the report, I rallied up my squadron and prepared them for a surprise attack that would hopefully send her packing.
With the help of a few scholars and a lot of luck, we managed to trace the path of the migration through the Everfree Forest. This was already shaping up to be a dangerous mission. The Everfree Forest is not like the rest of Equestria. Cloudsdale has no control over the weather in that area. Every time they tried, it just changed on its own. Not to mention all of the other dark rumors surrounding the place. Luckily, if everything went according to plan, we wouldn't actually have to go into the forest. Nevertheless, I knew we had to watch ourselves. With a combination of unpredictable weather, a flock of dragons, and a mad neko sorceress, there was no telling what was going to happen.
As soon as we had visual confirmation of dragons heading our way, I gave the Wonderbolts the order to scramble. We had a few new members along with the original six I mentioned before, and this was going to be their first taste of combat. I know most ponies think that these circumstances were a bit much for a first battle, but my first taste of combat was fighting a giant sea monster. There's no way anypony can control this kinda thing, so it's pointless to complain about it.
We maintained our position and kept our distance as the dragons passed through over the forest. As we watched them pass, I had to admit it was a majestic sight. It even got Wind Cutter to crack a genuine smile, and that's saying something. But suddenly, something odd caught my eye. Flying alongside the dragons was a green pegasus with a lavender mane, a Cutie Mark depicting two leathery wings, and a small satchel strapped around his shoulder. Already, I had a lot of questions. Was this pony crazy? Why was he flying with something as ferocious as dragons as if they were ponies? And through a place as unpredictable as the Everfree Forest, no less. Right away, I wanted to know more about this stallion. He just intrigued me to no end.
But as I was thinking this, Catrina made her move. She had made herself gigantic, even in comparison to the dragons she was attacking. Her large form cast a shadow over the entire Everfree Forest; her mad cackle shook the skies. I shook myself and pushed the thoughts of the mysterious pony out of my mind. We had a land to defend.
We charged at Catrina in a scattered formation, making sure to move around the dragons. After all, we didn't want anyone to get hurt in the crossfire. Catrina, however, had other ideas. She took in a deep breath and blew on all of us, creating a sharp gale that knocked us into each other. This got the dragons agitated and confused, and they began to fight amongst themselves. That made our job that much harder, which frustrated me to no end.
Regardless, we pushed forward, weaving around the dragons to the best of our ability. While I flew towards Catrina, I kept one eye peeled for the mysterious stallion. As far as I knew, he was a civilian in a combat situation. As a member of the EUP, his safety was of utmost importance to me. Of course, dividing my attention in a hectic situation like this was not exactly smart. Luckily, I had a good wingpony to rein me in.
Thistle's telltale nervous whistling forced me to pay attention to where I was going, and I stopped in my tracks. Had I continued flying, I would've run right in the middle of a duel between two of the dragons. I turned to thank Thistle for saving my bacon yet again, but as it turned out, her whistling had attracted the attention of other dragons. Without a second thought, I flew to her aid. Just as I was about to punch the first dragon advancing towards her, another pony stopped me.
It was that same mysterious pony from before. He flew in front of the dragon and spoke to it with calm, soothing words. At this point, I wrote him off as completely batshit insane. Keep in mind, I knew as much about dragons as the average pony. I never would've even considered the possibility that you could reason with them. I was about to drag the poor guy away from the dragon's massive claws or fire breath, but the beast did nothing of the sort. It just flew away, and the other dragons followed suit.
I had nothing to say to that. There was nothing I could say to that. It just boggled my mind and left me speechless. Who was this guy?
Of course, Thistle soon reminded me that I had more pressing matters to attend to. With a quick nod of thanks, I resumed my attack on Catrina.
Once we got past the dragon flock and to Catrina herself, the battle was a lot more intense. Catrina's dark magic combined with the unpredictable nature of the Everfree Forest caused a lot of problems. Spontaneous sun showers drenched our wings, making them too heavy to fly properly. Magic-stealing lightning rained down at random intervals, occasionally sapping magic from our squadron and giving our foe more power to use against us. Strong currents of wind continued to pour from her mouth, messing out our coordination. But despite all that, my guiding light kept our morale high. I wasn't about to let some overgrown fur ball take me down.
We fought and fought until the sun began to set over the horizon. It was then that something amazing happened. The dragons had stopped fighting each other, and now they were helping us fight Catrina! None of them used magic as far as I could tell (to this day, we have no intel on Catrina's plans or ambitions), but they managed to catch her off-guard with their fiery breath and razor-sharp claws. That was our opening. I gave the order for Hurricane Gamma; an attack formation that created a large tornado. The remaining Wonderbolts formed up into position and flew circles around Catrina. Within a matter of moments, she was enveloped in a cyclone of myriad colors, pulsating with the magic she was attempting to steal. The attack rendered Catrina stupefied as she lost her concentration. She fired spells randomly, most of them missing their targets by a mile.
But in the middle of the attack, I heard a stallion cry out in agony as one of those stray spells hit him. I didn't recognize it from my squadron, and I knew it couldn't have been a dragon. That left only one possibility. There was no time for me to think.
I broke out of the formation and flew towards the scream as fast as I could. Sure enough, I was right. The bolt had hit the mysterious civilian pony, and he was dropping like a rock. I increased my acceleration to compensate, and just before he hit the trees, I scooped him up. Behind me, I could hear a loud mewl of pain. It appears that in her confusion, Catrina had hit herself with her own spell. Her stolen magic burst from her body, and it was returned to its rightful owners. When the winds died down, she was back to her normal size and heavily injured. Before we could apprehend her, she used a fog-summoning spell to retreat into the forest.
As we licked our wounds, I turned to the civilian I had just saved. Looking at him, I had to admit that he didn't look half bad. Sure, he wasn't the most attractive stallion in the world, but he was easy on the eyes. As I looked at him, I noticed that the dragons were surrounding me. I was ready to fly out of there and get him to safety, but he woke up.
"It's alright," he told me. "They won't hurt you. They're just concerned for my well-being. You're General Firefly, correct?"
I wasn't surprised that he knew who I was. By this point, the Wonderbolts were a household name. Everypony knew who we were. Still, something about him made me all tongue-tied.
"Um, yeah," I said sheepishly. "Who're you?"
"My name is Dragonfly. I speak for the dragons," the stallion replied. "Thank you for saving me. Nopony has ever showed me that kind of compassion before."
I couldn't find anything worthwhile to say to that. All I did was save his life. That was my duty as a Wonderbolt. Yet he saw it as a genuine act of kindness that nopony had ever given him. For some reason, that caused my cheeks to burn.
"J-just doing my duty, Mr. Dragonfly, sir," I said. "N-no need to thank me."
By this time, the Wonderbolts had fully recovered, and we were ready to return to base. I gave Dragonfly one last goodbye, and he rejoined the Great Dragon Migration.
***
That wasn't the last time I saw Dragonfly. After Catrina had been properly vanquished by the mystical Meadowbrook, he would write letters to me about his life with the dragons. Turns out his special talent manifested itself when he discovered that he understood dragons better than other ponies. He had no real qualms with his own kind; he just enjoyed the company of dragons more. And to him, I was the first pony to help him with a problem.
Through his letters, I gained a fondness for him. The fact that he could fly alongside dragons and live to tell the tale was just, astounding. I also felt that he needed a pony like me in his life. It must've been difficult for him not being able to identify with his own kind. So, I invited him to stay with me in Cloudsdale. From there, we dated on and off while I was taking leaves of absence, and eventually, I proposed to him. The rest is history.
You have any sons or daughters or any grandkids?
I have one son. His name is Snapdragon, and his special talent is regulating rain to make sure ever flower gets their fair share. I knew as soon as he was born that he wasn't cut out for the Wonderbolts, but I love him all the same. After all, my parents didn't serve in the military, either. I guess this kind of thing skips a generation.
Speaking of which, Snapdragon did managed to settle down and have a child of his own. His name is Easyglider, and he can be quite a hoofful. Truth be told, I actually see a lot of myself in Easyglider. Every time he comes over to visit me and Dragonfly, he loves listening to me tell stories about how I served and protected Equestria. That's right, just like I listened to the stories of my grandfather Aquilinus. He hasn't found his special talent yet, but I believe that he'll make a great Wonderbolt someday.
Here's a riddle for you Firefly: What occurs twice in a week, once in a year, but never in a day?
A riddle, huh? Well, at least it's not you being obsessed with flightless birds.
The answer is the letter E. Yeah, I may be old, but my mind is still as sharp as a tack.
What does your sister do?
Medley? Oh, she's a singer, and a damn fine one at that. You can usually find her at any given theater hall entertaining ponies with that melodious voice of hers. Even now, she continues to be an Equestria-wide sensation, and I couldn't be happier for her.
In fact, I suppose you could say she's part of the reason I formed the Wonderbolts. See, although we're sisters, Medley and I couldn't be more different if we tried. I was willing to put my life on the line to defend our nation; Medley has always detested violence of any kind. I was a star flyer in Flight Camp; Medley dropped out due to lack of interest. I flew circles around Scylla; Medley could barely fly one lap around Cloudsdale without getting winded. Of course, there's plenty of stuff she can do that I can't. For instance, I couldn't sing even if my life depended on it (thank Celestia it never did). In a perfect world, there would be nothing wrong with that.
However, we didn't live in a perfect world. Back when we were growing up, most ponies in Cloudsdale tended to fall into one of three camps: Athletes, weather engineers, or soldiers. Medley didn't fall into any of those categories. Not to say she was the only pegasus in Cloudsdale who felt that way; I'm sure there were others. But that didn't change the fact that she had a lot of difficulty fitting in. Oh, she had a few friends, but even they thought she was a bit of an odd duck. Actually, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't feel that way about her from time to time.
But as I got older and began opening my mind to different ideas, I started to question this sort of thing. My parents always taught us that we shouldn't feel pressured to fall into the stereotypes of pre-unification times. In fact, they encouraged Medley to follow her dreams of being a singer, despite what some close-minded schmucks thought. So she spent her time singing to birds instead of making rainclouds or fighting monsters. Was that really such a bad thing? I certainly never loved her any less. But what really got on my case was when some particularly cynical dock-hole would claim that she wasn't really a pegasus. That has never made sense to me. Medley still had wings like the rest of us. She could still walk on clouds like the rest of us. She could still fly like the rest of us. What makes her any less of a pegasus than a pony like me? The fact that she has different interests? The fact that she's not a walking stereotype from the old days? If that's how you define what a pony is, then I think somepony is due for a major reality check.
Medley was living proof that pegasi could be more than just proud warriors or meteorologists. And when I formed the Wonderbolts, I wanted us to broadcast that message to every corner of Equestria. So far, I think we've been doing a bang-up job. Though to be fair, we'd probably be struggling with that if it wasn't for Medley's help.
I mentioned before that I'm a military pony. I was trying to promote the Wonderbolts as something more than a branch of the EUP; specifically as stunt flyers and performers. However, while my special talent is inspiring others, I had very little knowledge about being an entertainer. I didn't know the ins and outs of booking venues or selling our act or anything of that nature. Luckily, Medley wanted the Wonderbolts to succeed just as much as I did. She and Star Catcher took it upon themselves to teach me everything I needed to know about working in the entertainment industry, and I'm very grateful that they did.
But Medley's influence didn't stop there. Because she was a famous singer, she was in contact with some pretty famous ponies. The most noteworthy example I can think of is when she introduced me to the famous fashion designer, Flaire de Mare. She thought that our uniforms needed a massive update to fit the current fashion trends. Seeing as I never followed such things, well, ever, I just decided to take her word for it. Besides, I will admit that I had been getting complaints about our uniforms being itchy and uncomfortable. Mostly from Star Catcher.
Lieutenant de Mare now serves the Wonderbolts as our tailor and PR pony. While I doubt she will ever see any combat, I'm very grateful for her service. And I wouldn't have met her if it wasn't for my dear sister Medley.
...
Wait, what was the question again? Oh, just what Medley does. Sorry about that, Mr. Book. I got a bit lost in my nostalgia for a second there. I hope that's not a problem.
It seems you've done a lot of traveling. Where else have you gone in the world? How was it different from your home? Did you like it?
Well, of course I've done a lot of traveling. I live in Cloudsdale, which is a mobile city by design. Heck, any pegasus who lives here can claim that they've seen every corner of Equestria, and they're probably right.
I can't say with full certainty that I've seen everything Equestria has to offer, but it sure does feel like it. And it's not just because of Cloudsdale, either. During peacetime, the Wonderbolts have been known to tour Equestria, performing stunt shows all across the nation. I've been to Manehattan, Canterlot, Norneigh, Prance, and plenty of other cities besides. Of course, none of them were like Cloudsdale.
For one, you can only live in Cloudsdale if you're a pegasus. No other city in Equestria has that problem. Because of this, I see ponies of all different tribes and all different walks of life living side-by-side. It's a breath of fresh air, honestly. Like I said, you really can't get that kind of diversity in Cloudsdale, and it always brings a smile to my face when I see that sort of thing. The only other major difference is the culture, I suppose. Some town were founded by Earth Ponies; others by unicorns. And more often than not, the city tends to reflect its roots. I always found it quite enriching that we're all so different, yet we still stand under the same banner.
But the most noteworthy place I've been to actually wasn't in Equestria at all. It was the prestigious city of Griffonstone.
I mentioned before how Commander Hurricane and my grandfather used to fight against the Griffon Hoards back in the day. Well, back then, griffons weren't united like they are today. They valued gold over all else, and they would do anything to get it. But then, King Grover discovered a treasure known as the Idol of Boreas. This idol united the hoards into a single kingdom, and the griffons became a proud and honorable culture as a result. At least, that's how they tell it.
And it must be said that Griffonstone is as prestigious as they claim. Manehattan may have its brownstone buildings, and Prance may have some of the most stunning architecture I've ever seen. But nopony can deny that Griffonstone has a certain majesty that no other city in Equestria has been able to capture. Maybe it's the noble statues standing outside their prized library, or perhaps it's the quaint straw huts that serve as a sharp contrast to the great castle overlooking the entire kingdom. Or maybe it's just those delicious griffon scones they love to sell. Either way, there's not much bad I could say about that place.
Well, okay. One thing. Everywhere we went, we couldn't get anything done unless we paid someone with bits. Now, I don't have problem with paying for stuff, but there's a point where it just gets ridiculous. Paying for room and board? Perfectly acceptable. Paying to ask for directions? A bit strange, but okay. Paying the guard just to get into the castle? And then paying another guard to be let into the throne room? And then paying another guard just to have the privilege to speak to the king? I'm sorry, that's just excessive. By the time we had left, we were flat broke! They really should do something about that custom. I can't imagine it being good for tourism. Then again, I'm not a griffon. It's really not my place to judge how they run things. Heck, I'm sure griffons find us strange because we don't charge money for every little thing.
Did your military career ever take you to a frozen tundra? Did you meet any penguins? I hear they're extremely psychotic.
And we're back to the flightless bird thing again.
If you're referring to the Frozen North, yes, I have been there. You actually need to travel through that area in order to get to Griffonstone. Like the Everfree Forest, the weather engineers in Cloudsdale have never been able to control what goes on there. It always snows no matter what. And the worst part is that you can't tell how severe the weather is going to be up there until you're in the thick of it. Because of this, most pegasi treat the Frozen North as a no-fly zone. The trip to Griffonstone was actually one of the few times we took the train instead of just flying out to the city.
We didn't meet any penguins, though. Sorry, Mr. Book.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Probably the same amount as the number of seashells she sells by the seashore.
See? I've got a sense of humor, even at this old age. Let it never be said that I can't take a joke.
How would you say you've bucked the trends and stereotypes of society?
I think I've been explaining that for a while now, Mr. Book. The whole point of the Wonderbolts is that we're not just a branch of the military. We have given ponies a new goal to aspire to, and that goal is being lauded as one of the best flyers in Equestria and inspire others to do the same. Pegasi like Flaire de Mare now have a chance to leave their mark on history without necessarily following our old military traditions. And thus far, it has been a rousing success.
Do you have any close friends who are griffons--or any other race for that matter?
Now that you mention it, I actually do know someone. He's not a griffon per se, but his father was. And honestly, it was thanks to him that I even agreed to perform in Griffonstone.
I'll admit it, I didn't like griffons growing up. All I knew about them was from the stories my grandfather would tell me, and all of those stories were about how he and Commander Hurricane fought the Griffon Hoards of the olden days. That didn't give me a favorable impression of them. What's more, most griffons I had met in my youth were rather aggressive in nature, so that didn't help matters, either.
Then one day, Medley introduced me to this new musician who wanted to work with her. His name was Izzy Glow, or at least, that's what he went by. At first, I thought he was just a pony, but then Medley invited me to have dinner with him. As it turned out, he was not a pony. Well, not entirely.
From the front, he appeared to be a griffon, which did set off a few warning bells in my head. Again, I didn't have much exposure to griffons at this point, and the exposure I did have wasn't great. Then, I noticed that his hindquarters were completely different. Instead of lion's paws, he had, hooves. Not just hooves, but also a Cutie Mark depicting a glowing guitar. I've seen my fair share of strange things in my lifetime, but this is probably the only moment I can think of that rendered me speechless.
After a very awkward bout of silence, I finally asked him what he was. Medley chastised me for being rude, but Izzy didn't seem to mind. He explained that he was a hippogriff. At the time, I had no idea what that was. He then said something that blew my mind entirely. His father was a griffon, and his mother was a pony.
It was at that point that I started to question everything I knew about griffons, and I was right to do so. Izzy told me that griffons being greedy warmongers was a stereotype from the days before the Idol of Boreas was discovered. I honestly couldn't help but empathize with that. After all, I knew how hurtful stereotypes could be. As such, I can't thank Izzy Glow enough for opening my eyes. I don't think the Wonderbolts would've been nearly as successful as they are today if I was a raging hypocrite.
Izzy and I have been keeping in touch on and off. He's still going strong over in the Griffon Kingdom, and he's performed with Medley from time to time. He even says that his old man is a big fan of the Wonderbolts, as are many other griffons. I suppose that's why we were invited to perform in Griffonstone. Looking back on it now, I'm glad we got that opportunity. I might've formed the Wonderbolts with ponies in mind, but that doesn't mean other species can't appreciate what we do.
Being a soldier must be pretty risky and you've had a few close calls, but have you ever lost someone in the line of duty? (Other than Thistle Whistle) If so, what happened? How do you deal with it today?
Ah, yes. The most difficult part about being a military pony. I figured I'd end up talking about this sooner or later.
I should start out by saying that on this front, I'm actually luckier than I have any right to be. Since the formation of the Wonderbolts, we've been a very peaceful nation. Sure, the EUP is still called in to deal with the occasional monster attack, but that's about it. Warmongers like Catrina are an aberration, not the norm. And it's true that ponies still get hurt in the line of duty. It's going to happen, no matter how cautious you are. But nowadays, you don't hear that much about ponies dying in combat. It still happens, but it's far from commonplace.
That being said, there is one soldier I'd like to give special mention to. Her name was Songbird, and hers is a story I will never forget for as long as I live.
***
I first met Songbird during the early days of the EUP; back before the Wonderbolts existed. She was a new recruit, and it was my duty to whip her into shape. This actually proved to be very difficult. See, Songbird didn't want to be a soldier at all. She actually hated the military. The only reason she was serving under me was because she was pressured into it by her parents, who were both military ponies themselves. I don't claim to know what that must've felt like for her. My family was always supportive of my ambitions, even when they didn't agree with them. The same goes for Medley. In fact, I saw a bit of Medley in Songbird. At least, up to a point.
While Medley detests violence, she has never claimed that I was wrong for choosing a military career. Songbird, on the other hoof, said I was nothing but a bloodthirsty jarhead who got her kicks by making others suffer. Actually, she said that about everypony in the EUP. I can't say I cared for her attitude, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't lose my temper because of her constant mud-slinging. Nevertheless, I never hated her as a pony. In fact, I have a feeling that deep down, she didn't really hate me, either. She was just lashing out because her parents forced her into something she wanted no part of. That would probably make anypony a bit testy.
Songbird and I butted heads plenty of times while she was under my command, but none of those arguments were as bad as the one we had before she died. It happened at the end of autumn; just before the Running of the Leaves. I had received a summons from Princess Celestia herself along with the other generals of the EUP. Wasting no time, I flew straight to Canterlot for what was no doubt a mission briefing.
When I arrived before the Princess, she appeared to be rather distraught. Once she started explaining the situation, I could see why. Right outside our borders, two nations were embroiled in war. Those nations were the Naga Empire and the Garuda Federation. Now, to this day, we know nothing about either of these factions. In fact, I can sum up our intel on them in a few short sentences. There are a bunch of snake people, and there are a bunch of bird people. The snake people don't like the bird people, and the bird people don't like the snake people. Thus, the two species are at war with one another. Seriously, that's all we've got on them.
Anyway, Princess Celestia had been in contact with both warring factions, trying to arrange a peace treaty or some sort of summit. However, both sides refused her offer outright. The Nagas didn't trust her because she spoke with the Garuda, and the Garuda didn't trust her because, well, she spoke with the Nagas. All the while, their generation-long conflict was threatening to spill out into Equestria. As such, Princess Celestia had no choice but to deploy the EUP and send these guys a message. That message was that if they insisted on continuing this war, Equestria was not the place to do it.
Now, I was actually on board with this. Whatever the Nagas and the Garuda were fighting about, it was their problem and their problem alone. Equestria had nothing to do with it, and we had to tell these dock-holes to leave before we were roped into the fray. I think that's a perfectly reasonable position to have. But when I relayed Princess Celestia's orders to my troops, Songbird did not agree.
Right in the middle of my briefing, she got up and started berating me for perpetuating the violence. She said that we weren't solving the problem at all. We were just sending it somewhere else. She claimed that the right thing to do was to have the leaders of both sides meet each other and discuss this like civilized creatures.
And you know what, Mr. Book? She wasn't wrong. I may not have agreed with her completely, but I saw where she was coming from. She was a highly vocal peace advocate; of course she would favor a diplomatic solution. But here's the problem. Princess Celestia had already tried that, and it didn't work. If it did, she wouldn't have called us for this mission in the first place. The only reason we were being deployed was because there were no other options. It was either this, or Equestria would be dragged into a war for no good reason. And Princess Celestia certainly did not want that to happen. I don't think anypony wanted that.
Songbird was not having any of it, though. She continued to rant and rave, cursing me out and chastising the entire EUP as if we were a bunch of spoiled brats who needed to be told right from wrong. I let Songbird get away with her attitude in the past, but in this instance, she crossed the line. The briefing ended in a heated debate between us that almost came to blows. Thistle managed to break it up, but just barely.
That was my last real conversation with Songbird. And looking back on it now, I wish that it wasn't.
***
Despite her misgivings, Songbird still joined my platoon when we flew out to confront the Nagas and the Garuda. She may have talked a big game, and I don't doubt that she had strength in her convictions. It's just that because her family wanted her to follow the typical pegasus military tradition, she had no say in the matter. She had to listen to me and follow my orders, whether she wanted to or not.
We met with the rest of the EUP as well as a sizable fleet of airships just outside of Equestria's borders. From our vantage point, we practically had front-row seats to the war between the Nagas and the Garuda. It was anything but pretty. Both sides were going at each other in full force. Crossbow bolts whizzed through the air like a swarm of angry hornets. Blasts of magic bounced back and forth, cooking the atmosphere. Loud screeches and powerful rasps echoed across the mountainside. It was probably the most brutal sight I had ever seen in my entire life. And coming from a military pony, that's saying a lot.
Our strategy was clear. Because of Princess Celestia, the Nagas and the Garuda knew that we were aware of their activities. As such, our plan was to maintain our position and not to engage unless the combat spilled over into our territory. Best-case scenario, one soldier from each side would notice us, tell their COs, and they'd leave. Considering the intensity of the battle, though, I was pretty sure it wouldn't play out that way.
Sure enough, there were a few instances when some naga scout would try to flank his opponent by crossing into Equestria, or some Garuda mage would come dangerously close to violating our airspace. Every time this happened, we would give them a warning shot, be it an avalanche from the Earth Ponies, a spell from the unicorns, cannon fire from the airships, or a peel of thunder from my platoon. We made it clear that we didn't want their war coming to Equestria.
I don't remember how long we stood there, shooing these schmucks from our borders. But apparently for Songbird, it was long enough. I saw her breaking formation out of the corner of my eye and ordered her to return. In response, she had this to say:
"You might be comfortable with seeing people die in droves, General Firefly, but I'm not. I don't care what you say; this meaningless bloodshed does not need to continue. I'm marching right over there and telling them just that. And there's nothing you can do to stop me!"
With that, she flew right into the fray. I probably should've been mad at her for her blatant insubordination, but honestly, I just went completely numb. It's hard to explain, but I felt as though my special talent was working against me. Because of our disagreement, I inspired her to defy my orders and deal with things her way, just to prove me wrong. And despite what she believed, that was going to get her killed. Either she was blind to that fact, or she just didn't care.
That moment of hesitation was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. Just as I was about to fly after her, she was shot out of the sky. The poor girl thought she could stop a pair of mages from launching their spells at one another by standing in-between them. Instead, she just got caught in the crossfire. And despite that, the two sides continued to clash as if nothing had happened.
Now I got mad. Songbird and I might not've seen eye-to-eye, but she was still my responsibility. I wanted nothing more than to charge in and give those bastards a piece of my mind. However, a familiar whistling held me back. Thistle Whistle told me not to make Songbird's mistake. That just made me more angry, and I lashed out. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I remember kicking myself pretty badly. I should've realized that this wasn't the life for her. I should've told her parents that if they really loved their daughter, they'd listen to her and let her do what she wanted with her life. Instead, my guiding light turned from a beacon of hope into the headlight of an oncoming train. I kept going on and on like that until Thistle placed a hoof to my lips and shook her head.
"Songbird's decisions were her own, Firefly," she told me. "Don't blame yourself for something that isn't your fault."
I couldn't control myself. Right in the middle of a mission, I just hugged Thistle and bawled like a young foal. It was clear that I was in no condition to continue fighting. Thistle had me relinquish command to Wind Cutter, and she led me back home to Cloudsdale.
While I did blame myself for a while, I came to realize that my influence was negligible compared to everything else Songbird had to put up with in her life. She was forced into an environment that she had no business being in, and seeing a full-scale war playing out right before her very eyes just caused her to snap. If anything, I blame her parents for trying to dictate her life, and even then, that was the general attitude of pegasi at the time. All the more reasons why I formed the Wonderbolts to change all that, I guess.
I understand why Songbird did what she did, but that doesn't make it right. There's a fine line between being a martyr and being a fool, and Songbird flew straight over it. The Nagas and the Garuda still carry out their war in parts unknown to this very day. Her actions didn't affect them one iota. Still, her ideas weren't wrong per se. Heck, I'd say that if Princess Celestia was to watch me debate with Songbird, she'd side with her over me nine times out of ten. It's just that she couldn't handle the stress of being a military pony, and that's okay. She was okay.
In retrospect, maybe I could've done more for her. But honestly, I was never a pony to let myself get stuck in the past like that. Life goes on, y'know?
Have you yet come to terms with your mortality? What do you think lies after death?
That's kinda why I'm writing these memoirs in the first place, Mr. Book. After I say everything I want to say in here, I'll be able to leave this world knowing that I've lived a full life. Oh, I don't plan on going anytime soon. I'm not one to give up. Still, you can't really plan for this sort of thing, can you?
As for what comes after, well, I don't know. I don't think anypony knows. But when you're in my line of work, you soon realize that it doesn't matter, either. You just live your life being the best you can be, and that's all anypony can ask of you.
Also, what would you do to defend yourself if you were suddenly attacked by a Moa?
...
I'm guessing that's another flightless bird. Sheesh, way to kill the mood, Mr. Book.
Well, seeing as I can fly and it can't, I've already got the advantage. Beyond that, I'd just treat it like any other enemy.
If there was no need for the EUP before Nightmare Moon, what changed afterwards for it to be absolutely necessary?
Well, that's easy. The power struggle between Princess Celestia and Nightmare Moon did not go unnoticed by other nations. And the thing about power struggles like this is that they tend to portray nations as weak and vulnerable. For conquerers, this is practically an open invitation to march in and take over. Princess Celestia didn't want that to happen, especially since that battle with Nightmare Moon took a lot out of her. That's why the EUP was so crucial. We provided defense during a time when we didn't look that strong.
Since that time, the EUP is recognized as Equestria's standing army. I can't say with full certainty if it's the best in the world, but it gets the job done.
What was your most embarrassing moment growing up?
Yeah, I've had my fair share of embarrassing moments. I've even talked about a few with you. Like when I blew up at Thistle Whistle during Captain Monsoon's briefing? That was a big one.
But I think my most embarrassing moment has to be from the Wonderbolts' first Chuckle-Lot. I don't think I'll ever live that one down.
See, after Nightmare Moon was banished, Princess Celestia wanted to show ponies that she didn't consider herself to be above them. So she started an annual banquet called Chuckle-Lot. It's basically just her goofing around and having fun with her subjects. And one night, the Wonderbolts were asked to assist her.
Now, I didn't really want to do this. I may have a sense of humor, but I'm no comedian. Most of the squadron weren't comedians, either. Unless you counted Wind Cutter's dark humor, but that kinda undermines what Chuckle-Lot is all about. In the end, though, we couldn't refuse the Princess.
So, we showed up for Chuckle-Lot as requested. By this point, the Wonderbolts had started to get a lot of recognition in Equestria, so we definitely made some heads turn. We marched out on stage, and Princess Celestia introduced us. There was an applause, and I started to feel a bit more relaxed. Maybe we'd just stand up here and riff on the Princess a little. That would've been kinda fun.
I was dead wrong.
Princess Celestia offered me this medal in honor of my service. Already, warning bells were going off in my head. I usually remember what I did to earn my medals. This one was just kinda foisted upon me out of the blue. But again, can't refuse the Princess.
It turns out the medal was a modified squirting flower. You know, that trick corsage thing that squirts water on the poor sap who goes up to sniff it? Well, I was the poor sap.
Now, why do I consider this to be my most embarrassing moment when I've arguably been in situations that were far more embarrassing? After all, I knew Chuckle-Lot was supposed to be all about not taking stuff too seriously. I shouldn't have felt embarrassed at all. Well, here's the problem. I think you might've guessed this already, but I have a bit of a temper problem. I don't like it when ponies assault or insult me, even as a joke. It's because of this that I gained a reputation for not having a sense of humor. Again, I do. I can take a joke. But things like what Princess Celestia pulled kinda set me off.
I exploded at the Princess, saying a lot of things that I wouldn't have said otherwise. Things that probably should've gotten me banished to the moon along with Nightmare Moon. But, as you're probably aware, it didn't. In fact, Princess Celestia wasn't fazed at all. Nopony was. Instead of laughing with me for being pranked, they laughed at me for taking it too seriously. And let me tell you; that stings a lot more. I don't think I've ever been that ashamed at myself before or since.
Thankfully, my outburst wasn't enough to ruin the night, and I even had some fun having a cream pie war with my squadron. Nevertheless, I'll always remember that little lesson in humility. I can't let my temper prevent me from enjoying life.
Actually, you should consider yourself lucky, Mr. Book. I don't think I would've been able to put up with your nonsense questions back in the day.
Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
Speaking of nonsense questions...
Mr. Book, I don't even know what that place is, let alone how to get there. Even if I did, how were you planning on getting there, anyway? You're a flipping book.
If you could only keep five of your possessions, what would they be?
...
I'm afraid you've lost me here, Mr. Book. I already have everything I need to live comfortably. Why would I only need to pick five to keep? Five possessions to take onto a desert island? Five possessions that I could keep with me after I died? I'm sorry, you have to be more specific.
Also, have you ever seen the skeleton of a Terror bird?
Nope. I don't even know what that is. Although given your track record, I believe it's safe to assume that it can't fly.
You mentioned the Royal Pony Sisters earlier. Who are the ponies in this group and how do they relate to the current rulers like Princess Celestia? What do they do?
Um, the Royal Pony Sisters are Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Everypony calls them that, or at least they did before Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon. I don't know where you got the impression that they were completely different ponies, Mr. Book.
What was it like learning of Nightmare Moon’s rise and subsequent banishment?
Y'know, it's funny. Nightmare Moon had such an impact on Equestria, yet most ponies nowadays don't believe that she even exists. She's just this scary story parents tell their children on Nightmare Night. But I know she's much more than that, as do most ponies my age.
When Princess Celestia decided to form the EUP, she didn't hide anything about the ordeal from us. I still remember how sad she looked, as if she was trying to hold her tears back during the entire meeting. That couldn't have been an easy thing for her to do. Actually, I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up a little myself.
See, when I heard about Princess Luna turning into Nightmare Moon and being banished, I tried to picture myself in Princess Celestia's position. What if Medley suddenly went mad and became a threat to Equestria? Could I do what Princess Celestia did? Would I be able to do the right thing, even if it meant hurting my sister? I'd like to think that I would, but without being in that situation myself, I can't say that in full confidence. Of course, Medley is no Nightmare Moon. She was never jealous of me growing up, mainly because the military life wasn't for her. Again, we're on opposite ends of the spectrum. But it didn't prevent me from thinking about such things.
I hid these thoughts the best I could during the meeting, and I accepted my position as the new leader of the EUP Pegasus Division with honor and pride. But once we were all dismissed, I sought out Medley and gave her a big hug. That's just how much Princess Celestia's story affected me. I suppose in a way, it taught me not to take my own sibling for granted.
Which is why I really don't like it when young ponies today just write off Nightmare Moon as being this spooky fairytale. I was around when Princess Luna ruled alongside her sister. I saw her in my dreams, and she never looked that unhappy. Whatever happened to her, it must've taken Princess Celestia by surprise. Granted, I didn't bear witness to Princess Luna's fall from grace. The most I saw was the moon being shoved back into the sky when it was supposed to be dawn, followed by a light show that could be seen from every corner of Equestria.
But once Princess Celestia gave us the context for what happened, I never doubted her words for a second. After all, she wouldn't just make up a story like that on a whim. Plus, you can't really fake the kind of pain Princess Celestia was going through at that moment. Even though she tries her hardest to put on a brave face for her subject, I think everypony in that meeting saw how broken up she was about the whole thing.
Doing the right thing hurts sometimes, Mr. Book. But when your nation depends on you, your own personal comfort has to come second.
What do you want your tombstone to say?
Whoa now, Mr. Book. We're jumping the gun a bit, aren't we? Trust me, I may be old, but I'm not on my deathbed just yet.
Anyway, I guess if I were to choose, it'd have to be something nice and poetic. Something that really reflects my life, y'know? As long as it conveys that message, I'm not that picky about the details. I'm sure my family or my former squadron can come up with something fitting.
Actually, Medley once joked saying that it should say "Danger Was Her Life." It was clearly a jab at my military status, but I don't think she'd go so far as to actually put that on my tombstone. She knows full well that there's more to my life than just danger. Though truth be told, danger did play a very significant part. Such is the life of a soldier/stunt flyer.
Have you heard of the great emu war?
Uh, no. I have not. Why, should I have?
And most importantly, how do you defeat a mini Minotaur?
In my experience, the size of the minotaur never really mattered. Then again, I've never fought a minotaur in direct combat. True, the minotaur country did get a bit uppity during the days before the EUP, but us pegasi only had to contend with their airship battalions. That's actually part of the reason why Equestria's assembly line churned out so many warships after the banishment of Nightmare Moon. They knew the power of the minotaur country's aerial navy, and they didn't want to be caught off-guard lest they take advantage of the power struggle and strike.
Though like I said, such fears were for the most part unfounded. Over the years, the minotaurs have become quite amiable; just like the griffons. Unlike the griffons, however, I couldn't really tell you why that is. Minotaurs aren't a common sight in Equestria, and those that live here try to put their past behind them. At least, that's what I gathered from what few minotaurs I've talked to. My best guess is that it has to do with Equestria's cow population intervening on our behalf or something, but that gets into a lot of inter-species politics that I could not even begin to wrap my head around.
...
Where was I going with this? Oh, right. Point is that if you want to know how to deal with a small minotaur in direct combat, you're better off asking a member of the EUP who's an Earth Pony. They'd have a lot more to say on the subject than I.
Plastic, because you're made out of paper. On a tangental note, thanks for not pissing me off too much. My doctor says it's not good for my blood pressure.
What was the most difficult and trying moment in your life?
I'm going to have to go with losing Songbird. Losing comrades is one thing, but when you believe that your actions caused one of your soldiers to die, well... Let's just say I still wonder what things would be like had I done more for her.
Where did you train new Wonderbolt recruits?
At first, we worked directly out of Cloudsdale. As more and more recruits came in from all over Equestria, though, we realized very quickly that we were going to need more space. Luckily, Princess Celestia was kind enough to requisition an abandoned mountain just north of Galloping Gorge. After many months of construction, we had a fully-functional Wonderbolt Academy with all of the state-of-the-art facilities any trainer or trainee would need.
In fact, the Academy is still running to this very day. I often fly out to visit it whenever I have the time, just for old time's sake. Of course, then I have to contend with ponies constantly calling me General even though I'm retired. Even Admiral Fairweather calls me that, and he's the one I named as my successor! Though I think he just does that to tease me.
How would your friends describe you?
Depends on who you ask, really. In general, I have been known for my fiery temper, my impulsive nature, and my inspirational aura. But to some ponies, such a description doesn't cover everything.
For instance, Star Catcher says my name is fitting because, as she puts it: "You're pretty from afar, but most ponies become unnerved when you get up close and personal." I'll admit, my demeanor can be on the brusque side at times. But c'mon, all COs yell at their troops. It's the best was to show them who's boss.
Admiral Fairweather claims that I'm a pony who takes things too seriously for her own good. Considering what happened at Chuckle-Lot, I hesitate to say that he's wrong. But that doesn't mean I have no sense of humor. I just don't take insults very well.
Nimbus has always seen me as his inspiration to join the EUP and eventually become one of the Wonderbolts' founding members. Even now, he continues to praise me as a role model to pegasi everywhere. This might be my ego talking, but personally, I don't blame him.
If Wind Cutter ever had an opinion of me, he never really said it to my face. He respected me as his superior officer, but nothing more than that. I find that warhorses like him tend to push that kind of stuff to the side when it comes to their superiors. He still considered me a friend, though. That's the most I ever managed to get out of him.
And finally, Thistle Whistle always said that I was the best friend she ever had. She said that even though I was rough and brusque, she knew that I had a good heart. Of course, she had known me the longest out of all of the Wonderbolts, so that kind of thing doesn't surprise me.
What have you always wanted? Did you get it?
Ah, now there's an interesting question. Normally, I'd say that it should be pretty obvious by now, given how much I've told you already. But I think there's a lot more to this question that I can expand upon. As I mentioned before, I always dreamed about being a military pony. I grew up listening to my Grandpa Aquilinus's war stories. However, I didn't always quite understand what attracted me to such a life. I liked the glory; the patriotism; even the primal rush of adrenaline gotten from flying at high speeds and confronting death. But I couldn't pinpoint what really appealed to me. That is, until I got my Cutie Mark.
It happened one summer evening; just after the first day of Flight School. I was just getting ready to go home when I heard a shrill, sobbing whistle echo from behind me. Right away, I knew what was going on. With a sigh, I turned around. Sure enough, there was Thistle Whistle, sitting just outside the front gate and nursing a black eye. This happened to her a lot when she was young, and I was always the only pony who ever stepped in to defend her.
Just like every other time, I went over to her and asked her what happened. She said she messed up a bit during flight practice today, and a bunch of colts teased her for it. They said she would never be able to fly, and when she tried to stand up for herself, they beat her up. Now, even at that young age, I knew that Thistle was a good flyer. Teasing her for her whistling habit was one thing, but that right there was just baseless slander. I felt like we had to teach those bullies a lesson.
"Don't let those dock-holes get you down, Thistle," I said (yes, I did have a bit of a mouth on me as a kid. I blame Grandpa Aquilinus). "You're a terrific flyer."
"Y-you really think so?" she asked me.
"I know so," I replied. "In fact, I can show you. Here, follow me. Let's fly for a bit."
Before she could respond, I took off into the air. Thistle was hesitant at first, probably due to her nerves. I floated back down to her and held out my hoof.
"Don't be nervous," I told her. "Just follow me, and everything will be okay."
After that bit of coaxing, Thistle joined me. We then flew together all over Cloudsdale. I kept a steady pace, making sure she didn't lag too far behind. It wasn't long before I heard those same punks from before mocking Thistle again.
"Aw, look! Firefly thinks she can help poor wittle Thistle!" they jeered. "Give it up! She'll never amount to anything!"
I stopped in mid-flight and turned to face Thistle's aggressors, folding my forelegs. "You really think that, huh? Well, just watch this! C'mon, Thistle! You're my wing!"
At the time, I had no idea what that term really meant. I just remembered it being a thing that military pegasi said to each other. Looking back on it now, I don't think I said it right. After all, I was supporting her, not the other way around. Hey, I was young and foolish back then; cut me a break.
In the grand scheme of things, it didn't really matter since Thistle got the message regardless. We both took off into the sky, flying far above Cloudsdale. I started off slow at first, but gradually, my maneuvers became tighter and my pace quickened. But no matter how fast I flew or how many difficult tricks I pulled off, Thistle was right behind me. It was as though she were my own shadow. Y'know, if my shadow whistled directly into my ear.
But as we flew together, I heard those whistles change in tone. Instead of crying, she seemed to be laughing. Instead of nervous, her tone oozed with confidence. She was living up to her potential, and I was helping her. And boy, did it feel good. I'd say it felt like an adrenaline rush, but this feeling was in a whole different category. It felt like it had, weight. Meaning. As if a bunch of clouds just parted, giving way to warm sunshine. I think this is what a lot of ponies feel when they realize what their special talent is.
Suddenly, my body was engulfed in a raging inner fire. I heard Thistle whistle in amazement, and I looked back to see what got her attention. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I was leaving a streak of brilliant pink light in my wake. I zipped and zoomed all over the place, flying circles around the bullies and screaming with delight. All the while, Thistle was behind me. I had given her the strength to power through her nervousness. Our antics could be seen from all over Cloudsdale as my magic set the evening sky ablaze. When I finally tired myself out and landed, I saw two blue lightning bolts on my flank that weren't there before. Of course, everypony my age knew what that meant.
In short, the thing I always wanted was to inspire ponies and give them the strength to face the darkness. And considering that's my special talent, yes. I do believe I ended up getting what I wanted.
Also, what do you think of when you hear the words "Elephant Bird?"
Is that anything like a bugbear? Because I've actually fought a bugbear. Those things are nasty. I can't imagine an elephant bird being that much more challenging, though.
What did you do for your latest birthday? Did you kill a Rhea?
Now why would I kill a flightless bird for my birthday? That's just silly, not to mention unnecessarily cruel.
Anyway, my last birthday was alright. Nothing too fancy; just a nice quiet night with my husband Dragonfly. Actually, here's an interesting coincidence. My birthday was actually the day we got married. I guess you could call that a birthiversary. That's what my son Snapdragon called it when we told him about it. He really did say the darnedest things when he was a little colt.
Of course, I did get some nice presents from my friends and family. Star Catcher sent me a lovely ice cream cake, Admiral Fairweather got me a case of some of his favorite sparkling cider, and Medley even put on a private concert for me and Dragonfly. It's amazing that after all these years, she still has the voice of an angel.
Why did you fight a bugbear? What happened?
Why did I fight a bugbear? Because it was attacking innocent ponies, that's why. And what happened? My squadron and I kicked its bumblebee rump into next week. Of course, it wasn't too difficult. A bulky fellow like that can't hope to match our impressive maneuverability. It did manage to bite me once, but nothing was seriously injured besides my pride.
I guess you were expecting there to be more, but not all of my battles were as epic as the ones against Scylla and Catrina.
Do you know the Muffin Man?
I know the Muffin Mare. Does that count?
Did you ever get in trouble as a young filly?
Oh, sure. All the time. I was never a pony you wanted to piss off. Truth be told, I didn't express myself with my words all that much when I was young. I've actually lost count of how many fights I got into on the playground. Most of them involved defending Thistle Whistle from bullies, which shouldn't really come as a surprise at this point.
But I think what really got me into trouble was that I never took my defeats graciously when I was a kid. I'll admit it, I did have a bit of a rebellious streak. Usually, you wouldn't see that in a military pony, but what can I say? I know at least one of my role models was a rebel, even though she wasn't the most aggressive ponies in the world. Anyway, whenever I was led off to detention or something, they always had to drag me kicking and screaming. It didn't help that I had a very, colorful vocabulary. Trust me on this, Mr. Book. Swear words and sass sound like they should go together like peanut butter and jelly, but when talking to your superiors, it only serves to make the hole you dug for yourself just that much deeper.
I suppose my upbringing was a bit of a mixed blessing when it came to my attitude. On the one hoof, my aggressive nature was considered to be normal for pegasi my age. Remember, before I founded the Wonderbolts, peaceful pegasi like Private Pansy and Medley were a rare breed. Even Thistle Whistle wasn't above getting physical when she had to. Granted, she wasn't the best fighter in the world. Her flying was phenomenal, but when it came to combat, she just played things too safe. Which is why I usually had to step in whenever she was being picked on.
On the flip side, however, pegasi also value discipline. This is clearly demonstrated by our ancient military traditions. And this might surprise you, but I was not a very disciplined pony growing up. Seriously, I don't think many ponies in my class could've ever predicted me moving up in the ranks of the military, let alone becoming a general. I must say, I do get a certain satisfaction proving them wrong.
Although you want to know what's funny? Despite my aggressive tendencies, I never once struck my sister. And no matter how much Thistle Whistle's habits annoyed me, I never hit her, either. I also didn't talk back to my parents all that much, and whenever I did, I immediately regretted it. I dunno, I guess there was a certain respect I had for my folks that kept my sassiness in check. I just wish the same applied to my teachers.
It wasn't until my days in the Cloudsdale Militia that I learned to curb these impulses. There, I learned that there was a big difference between a militaristic culture and actually serving in the military. And boy, did I learn it quick. Sassing your teacher gets you an extra hour in detention and maybe a call to your parents. Sassing your CO gets you confined to barracks for three days or put on KP for an entire week. Fighting a bully on the playground gets you a black eye. Engaging in fisticuffs with your fellow recruits could very well get somepony killed, even if you are careful (thank Celestia I never did that; I just know it happened). It was that stark contrast in environments that helped me shape up and fly right. Also, there's the whole maturity factor as well. That's the funny thing about life. As you get older, you start to realize just how stupid you were as a kid.
Of course, that's not to say I had completely forgotten these habits. There were still plenty of times in my life when I would just lash out against somepony out of anger, either through barbed language or with my hooves. In fact, I think most of my answers to your questions could be considered a bit on the cheeky side. I dunno, I guess I'm just in a bit of a sassy mood today. Hey, considering my age and all I accomplished, I think I've earned the right to indulge in a little bit of sass every now and then.
While I feel a little sorry for Songbird…yeah, she was a moron. The hell made her think that was a good idea?
...
If you truly believe that, you still don't understand Songbird and the crap she had to put up with in her life. I'll be the first to admit that what she did was incredibly foolish and out of line. You'll get no argument from me there. Even so, can't we both agree that calling her a moron is just a little insensitive? Hasn't the poor girl suffered enough?
You ask what made her think what she did was a good idea, but in all honesty, I don't believe she was thinking. At the very least, she wasn't thinking straight. You have to understand, our skirmish with the Nagas and the Garuda was Songbird's first (and last) taste in real combat. She never had to go on a mission like this before. So when she saw all the carnage and needless bloodshed the two factions were inflicting on one another, it overwhelmed her to the point where she just wanted it to stop. In the end, Songbird was a victim of circumstance. She had a traditional responsibility foisted upon her by her militaristic family, and she simply couldn't handle the stress. That's all there is to it.
Now then, let's make something clear, Mr. Book. I don't like it when ponies disrespect the dead. Songbird may have been foolishly naïve, but she wasn't stupid. For the record, neither was Thistle Whistle. And if you ever insult either of them or anypony else I care about again, I can't be held responsible for what I'll do to you. This is your only warning, Mr. Book. Heed it well.
You are on a quest to seek the Holy Teapot for the High Princess Celestia. You and your traveling companion come across a great chasm known as the Gorge of Eternal Peril. It is so foggy that you can't see to the other side and have no idea how far it spans. The only way across is a rickety wooden bridge called the Bridge of Death. What do you do?
You approach the bridge and encounter an old goat who guards the bridge. He speaks with a gruff voice:
"Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side she see." What do you do?
The goat leans forward and asks his first question: "What is your name?"
He asks his second question: "What is your quest?"
He then asks you his third and final question: "What.......is your favorite color?"
The goat nods and steps aside. "Very well, you may pass."
You cross the bridge. Once you near the other side, you notice your traveling companion flying through the air--in comedic fashion--into the the gorge for not knowing the capital of Aspuria.
...
Tell me, are you perhaps a remnant from Discord's reign of chaos, Mr. Book? Because you sure sound like it right now. Discord may have been before my time, but his demonstrable actions continue to live on in infamy.
Anyway, the question already has a flawed premise. Princess Celestia doesn't have a Holy Teapot, not to mention I wouldn't need to use a bridge as long as I had my wings. But for the sake of playing along, I'll answer the questions.
My name is Firefly, my quest is to find the Holy Teapot, and my favorite color is blue. Oh, and I would probably fly after my comrade, too. I'm not the kind of pony to leave comrades behind (which is why Songbird's death is still a pretty sensitive issue for me). Heck, I don't know where Aspuria is, let alone its capital. How would anypony else in my squadron know that?
Who is the "Muffin Mare?" Does she live on Drury Lane?
She's a mare who sells muffins, of course. Oddly enough, she does live on Drury Lane, which is a famous street in Trottingham. How did you know that, Mr. Book?
Wait, forget I asked that question. I'm probably better off not knowing. That or you really are a remnant of Discord's time and you're just being random.
What accomplishment are you most proud of? Your "Moment of Glory," so to speak.
Well, honestly, that would have to be the formation of the Wonderbolts. True, I've fought in many impressive battles, and I've put on many awe-inspiring airshows. But none of them will ever hold a candle to that fateful night when we celebrated Equestria's first celestial year of peace. The airshow itself was spectacular, and I haven't felt that alive since I got my Cutie Mark. In fact, no other airshow or battle has even come close to making me feel that level of euphoria.
But of course, that's not the only reason that I see it as my greatest accomplishment. I hate sounding like a broken record, but this bears repeating. The Wonderbolts are considered to be a major turning point not only in Equestria's history, but the history of the pegasi and how we're perceived by everypony else. No longer are pegasi expected to be proud warriors or simple meteorologist. We take pride in our ability to fly, sure, but we use that ability to entertain and inspire as well as defend our home. This is something that the Wonderbolts continue to strive for to this day, and that will probably continue for generations to come. If that doesn't qualify as a moment of glory, I don't know what does.
To what extent did you shape your own destiny, and how much was owed to fate?
Oh, so now we're getting into the conundrums of philosophy, are we? Well, I'm not much of a deep thinker, but I believe I have an answer to this question.
All ponies are destined to be good at something. We all have a special talent imprinted into us at birth, and it's our job to find out what it is as we grow up. But no matter who you are, you will find that talent eventually. It's as natural as a caterpillar's metamorphosis into a butterfly. That much can be attributed to destiny.
But once you find that special talent; that ability that makes you who you are, it's up to you to decide what to do with it. Thistle Whistle's special talent was whistling. She could've used that talent to study birds or be a musical entertainer like my sister, but instead she chose to join the military and use her talent to warn others of danger. My talent is inspiring others, and that can be interpreted in countless ways. But I decided the best application for that talent was in the military. And even then, I branched out to inspire hope in all ponies when I formed the Wonderbolts. My special talent didn't change; only how I chose to use it.
So you see, Mr. Book. That's how I view destiny. I was destined to be good at something as well as to discover what that something was from the day I was born. The rest was forged by my own hooves. Again, there's a lot of philosophical debate about all this, and I don't claim to be as smart as the great scholars of Canterlot or anything. But I personally think this formula can apply to everypony in Equestria if you think about it enough.
Also, what's your opinion on New Zealand geese?
What's New Zealand? Is there an Old Zealand? Do the geese from this mysterious place not fly, given your obsession with flightless birds? I'm sorry, I can't have an opinion on something if I don't know what it is.
Hmm, well played at the Bridge of Death Firefly. Very well played indeed. So what would your idea of an epic quest be?
First of all, thank you. I guess.
Secondly, I'm not sure I'm the right pony to ask about epic quests. Being a military pony, I've never had the time nor the inclination to go on grand adventures into the unknown. I wanted to be where ponies needed me most. That's not to say I don't enjoy reading about such adventures from time to time. After all, that's what the Hearth's Warming Eve pageant is all about.
I suppose if I were to go on a quest, it would be one of diplomacy. There are several nations that share a border with Equestria, but because of their isolationist attitudes and remote locations, we don't know all that much about them. I wouldn't mind heading out to the Neko Shogunate or Yakyakistan to learn more about their respective cultures.
However, I don't think that's going to happen in my lifetime. The nekos are still very protective of their borders, and Princess Celestia wishes to respect that. As for the yaks, well, there's no real way to get to their home. As I mentioned earlier, the weather up north is simply too unpredictable to fly in. Not only that, but the mountains leading up to Yakyakistan are legendarily treacherous. Few ponies have been brave enough to attempt the climb, but from what I understand, none of them have come back alive. It's a miracle we even know Yakyakistan exists at all.
...
Oh, sorry. I'm rambling again, aren't I? I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that I'm not the epic quest type. Sorry to disappoint, Mr. Book.
What is your favorite type of muffin? How about your least favorite?
I don't often eat muffins myself, but when I do, I prefer the sweet, alluring flavor of a lemon poppyseed muffin. Those who think lemons can't be sweet don't know what they're missing.
As for least favorite, well, I did have a sweet potato muffin once. I know, it sounds rather bizarre for a muffin flavor. That's actually why I picked it up in the first place; I was feeling a bit adventurous. It wasn't bad per se, but it tasted kinda bland. It certainly didn't taste like sweet potato, I can tell you that much. I dunno, maybe something was lost in the baking process or something. I wouldn't know; I'm not a baker.
Why do bad things happen to good ponies?
Believe me, Mr. Book. I've found myself asking that question every now and then; usually when I think about Thistle Whistle and Songbird. Of course, somewhere in the back of my mind, I already know the answer. I'm not happy with it, but from my perspective, it's the only thing that makes sense.
Any time you put your life on the line, karma is not a factor and it never will be. It doesn't matter how many good deeds you've done or how pure your heart is; none of that translates into a magic shield that protects you from everything life throws your way. Thistle ignored her own illness just to support me, but it's not like the virus was going to give her a free pass for her efforts. Life just doesn't work like that.
Now, I believe in doing unto others and whatnot. It wasn't easy for me to follow that philosophy due to my temper, but it will still get you far in life. Treating others with kindness and making sacrifices for the greater good are qualities that I admire in ponies. And it's true that treating a pony the same way you want to be treated will probably lead to that pony respecting you in return. You just have to realize that as beneficial as this mentality is, it doesn't automatically make you invincible. In fact, Thistle died because she sacrificed too much for the sake of others. Not that I think she planned it that way, mind you. It just, happened. A lot of things in life just happen. And they happen to us whether we are good or evil; virtuous or vile.
Being a good pony does not mean you're entitled to having a worry-free life, Mr. Book. It's merely a step in the right direction, nothing more. Then again, maybe I'm just jaded due to my military background. I'll leave that for you to decide. If you can decide anything at all, that is.
Also, why can't you go outside and fight an emu right now?
A few reasons. One, I don't know where I would find one. Two, I'm an old mare. As much as I miss pulling off death-defying maneuvers and such, I have to accept the fact that my body simply wouldn't be able to take it. I'm retired for a reason, after all. And three, I don't really want to. I only have so much time left in this world; I've got better things to do with it than pick a fight with some flightless bird just because a magic book told me to. For instance, I still have to finish these memoirs.
I apologize if I came off as rude, but you get the idea, Mr. Book. At least, I hope you do.
Good morning, how are you today? Anything interesting happen so far?
Oh, um, good morning to you as well, Mr. Book. I'm doing alright, thank you for asking.
As for interesting things, well, my grandson Easyglider is coming over for a visit later today. That's always nice.
What were your parents like? Since they weren't in the military, in what other ways did they inspire you and shape your life?
At first glance, it doesn't seem like I took anything away from my parents. My father worked in the Weather Factory, and my mother was a professional painter. Now, like any good pegasus, I know the basics of weather manipulation and all that. However, that was never a driving force for me in my life. Neither was painting, even though that's what my mother wanted me to do.
However, my folks were actually very progressive for their time. They told me and Medley that no matter what we decide to do with our lives, they'll still love us. In fact, they actively encouraged Medley to become a singer and break away from the typical pegasus traditions. This upbringing greatly contributed to the founding principles of the Wonderbolts, and I'll always be thankful to them for that.
Sometimes, I wish Songbird's parents were more like my own. Parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally, not force them to live up to their expectations. That's why when Snapdragon was born, I promised to follow my own mother's example and let him pursue his own goals. And look at him now. He's married, he has a wonderful son, and he's living a nice, humble life as a gardener. Even though he's not following in my footsteps, I couldn't be more proud of him.
Do you have any guilty pleasures?
...
Is this really an appropriate topic for a memoir? Wait, why am I asking you this? Apparently, you think flightless birds are an appropriate topic for a memoir.
Ugh, fine. Just, don't laugh, okay? My guilty pleasure is preening. I know it's something all pegasi do, but for me, it just feels so, good. And not the kind of good I felt when I got my Cutie Mark or formed the Wonderbolts; I mean more of the, naughty kind of good. I can't help it; my wings are very sensitive to physical contact. Oh, it's not like I can't flap them without getting stimulated or anything like that. That would be just silly. They just get all tingly whenever they're touched or, nibbled.
I suppose it makes sense if you think about it. After all, these wings are my livelihood. I always made it a point to take very good care of them; perhaps I went so overboard that it started feeling good. Heck, even now, I make sure to keep my wings in prime condition. And truth be told, it still feels just as pleasurable to preen them now as it did back when I was young.
I remember this one night, right after Dragonfly and I got married. For our honeymoon, he took us to this dragon's nest he had been researching when he met me. I know, weird place for a honeymoon. For the record, it was all his idea, not mine. All I said was he could choose the location as long as it made him happy. And of course, he wanted to make me happy, too.
During our first night in that nest, I told him my little secret about my wings. What happened next was something truly magical. We snuggled up together on the stone floor, the gemstones glistening all around us. The mere fact that we were sharing this space with large, fire-breathing dragons got my heart pumping a mile a minute. And the night only got more intense as I stretched out on my stomach, my wings fully outstretched as Dragonfly leaned in, pressed his hoof against the small of my back, and—
Whoa, whoa! Where did all that come from?! Uh, excuse me for a minute.
***
Okay, I'm back. I, just had to get a few things out of my system. No, I will not explain what those things were, and if you ask, I'm throwing you into the sun. I don't care if nopony has ever flown that high; I'll find a way, Celestia dammit. In fact, let us agree never to speak of this again, got it? Good.
Do you like trains?
I prefer flying, but when traveling through places like the Frozen North, I believe trains are preferable. Nopony wants to be flying in a blizzard, after all. Heck, even today, I still fly almost everywhere. Call me a stubborn old nag if you must, but for a pegasus, it's the best way to travel. But again, not during a blizzard. I'm not that stubborn.
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
No and no. Even if I knew what either of those two things mean, I can't sing worth a damn, and painting just doesn't interest me. My mother used to use a lot of liquid rainbow in her gallery pieces, though, so make of that what you will.
When and how did you become a General?
I was promoted to General right when the EUP was formed. The reason for this was, well, we didn't really have generals before the EUP. But of course, Princess Celestia wouldn't have appointed me to that position without a good reason. And that reason was my greatest accomplishment in the Cloudsdale Militia. While I still consider the formation of the Wonderbolts to be my Moment of Glory, this battle can be seen as the moment I showed the world I was a great leader. And it was in the battle against the mad lamia Echidna and her unfortunate husband, Typhon. I still remember it like it was yesterday...
***
The alarm started blaring in the middle of the night, and I was one of the first to respond to its call. Having served in the military for a few years at that point, I was used to early wake-up calls. Some of the newer recruits were not so lucky, as they slowly shambled out of bed and griped about the midnight alarm. The rest of us, however, flew straight to the Briefing Room and stood at attention, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
Our CO, Captain Monsoon, said that Cloudsdale had received a distress call from the town of Trottingham. Their militia was being overwhelmed, and they required reinforcements. Cloudsdale was the closest to the conflict, and we were already on the move to intercept the threat. Before Monsoon could go into more detail of what we were up against, another alarm went off, and we were given the order to scramble right in the middle of the briefing. When I took to the skies, I soon saw why.
Towering over Trottingham was perhaps the biggest, most intimidating monster I had ever seen. The shadow he cast completely blotted out the moon and stars. He had a hundred arms and a hundred legs, each of them large, writhing serpents that looked like they could gobble up Cloudsdale in one bite. Flames erupted from his soulless eyes every time he blinked. And right on his shoulder stood an even more horrible monster: The heartless bitch who made him this way.
They were known as Typhon and Echidna; a pair of lamias that hailed from the same far-off land Tirek and Scorpan called home. And just like the dark centaur Tirek, they wanted a shot at conquering Equestria. Well, Echidna did. I don't think Typhon even had the cognitive awareness to know what was going on. See, according to the legends Scorpan told us about his homeland, Echidna was obsessed with biological enhancement. She experimented with all sorts of potions, hexes, and charms designed to make creatures stronger, smarter, and more fit to dominate everyone else. And the test subject for these experiments was none other than her own husband, Typhon. Up until this attack on Trottingham, that's all Typhon and Echidna were. A legend. But much like the sea monster Scylla, some legends have a little bit of truth to them.
Already, I could see that taking them on in a direct fight was not an option. The Trottingham Militia was throwing countless waves of soldiers at Typhon, and he just stood there and took their attacks as if they were nothing. He would occasionally lash out with his many serpent heads, but Echidna held him back from doing any significant damage. Some of the braver soldiers tried to attack Echidna herself, but that only proved to be a mistake. Those unfortunate souls were either gobbled up by Typhon or horribly disfigured by Echidna's dark magic. They were fighting a losing battle to protect their town from these monstrosities.
From this scenario, I thought the strategy would be pretty straightforward: Defend Trottingham at all costs and stall Typhon and Echidna long enough for the Royal Pony Sisters to arrive. This was simply too much for any of the local militias to handle. Plus, there's no way an attack this big was going to slip under the Princess' radar. Whether it was Trottingham's SOS or Typhon's enormous size, they were going to find out about this attack, and they were going to do something about it. We just had to hold Typhon off until they did.
However, that was not Monsoon's plan. As soon as we were in formation, he ordered us to move in and attack with everything we had. Why? Because noble pegasus warriors don't pussy out of a fight, that's why. At least, that's what he barked at Thistle Whistle when she questioned his orders.
Now, to be fair, I had a lot of respect for Captain Monsoon. He was a no-nosence kinda guy who took crap from nopony, and he was always determined to get the job done. He certainly taught me how to shape up and fly right. But I don't think strategy was ever his strong suit. His solution to every combat situation was "hit it until it stops moving." That might work against Scylla or a wyvern nest, but using such tactics against Typhon and Echidna was only asking for trouble. And boy, did we get in trouble.
Five minutes. We threw ourselves at Typhon over and over again for five minutes straight, and in that short amount of time, all we managed to do was lose half of the squadron. Pegasi were dropping like flies left and right, getting burned by Typhon's fire-spewing eyes; snapped up in his many jaws; crippled by Echidna's various poisons and spells. And all the while, I could hear Echidna laughing and bragging about how she and Typhon were superior to all other lifeforms. I'll be honest, there were a few times when I wanted nothing more than to fly up to that pink-scaled cunt, pummel her into pulp, and feed her to her abused husband for good measure. Thankfully, Thistle's cautious whistle helped me keep a level head.
Then, it happened. Captain Monsoon was shot down by one of Echidna's spells. Luckily, one of Trottingham's medics managed to get to him in time, but it was clear that he couldn't give us any further instructions. With our CO taken out of commission, the Cloudsdale Militia's morale took a drastic hit. Everypony realized this battle could not be won, but without Monsoon's order, they didn't know whether they should keep fighting or not. That was my time to shine.
"C'mon, Thistle! Let's show these serpents what happens when you mess with Cloudsdale!" I hollered. "You're my wing!"
I charged Typhon at mach speed, creating a steak of pink across the sky. But once I got close, I didn't attack him directly. Instead, I flew just within his reach, and the moment he tried to snap at me, I darted away. Thistle and I continued this erratic flight pattern, baiting Typhon to attack us only to fly out of his grasp at the last second. This had the desired effect, as Typhon started getting so aggravated that all of his snake heads were fixated on us and us alone. The remaining members of the Cloudsdale Militia saw our tactic, and they saw how effective it was. Soon, they began to follow suit, distracting all of Typhon's heads to the point where he completely forgot about attacking Trottingham.
Of course, this didn't please Echidna any. She tried in vain to get Typhon to focus, but none of his heads were paying any attention to her. Infuriated, she started targeting me with her spells, seeing me as the biggest threat. However, thanks to Thistle's telltale whistle, I avoided all of her attacks without so much as getting a scratch. This only served to make her madder.
"You inferior creatures think you're so clever, flying around like that!" she screamed, taking out a flask. "Well, I can make Typhon fly as well! Then he'll have no trouble showing you who's super—"
It was at this time that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna arrived, basking in an eclipse that blinded Echidna and caused her to drop her potion. From there, the Royal Pony Sisters took over, using their magic to banish Typhon and Echidna to the depths of Tartarus. Trottingham, and indeed all of Equestria, was saved.
When I gave my debriefing to Cloudsdale's military council, I was commended for my quick thinking and morale-boosting talents. Even Monsoon admitted that I was a better leader than he was, and he stepped down as captain of the Cloudsdale Militia. I took his place until the day Nightmare Moon was banished, when Princess Celestia promoted me to general of the EUP Pegasus Division. The rest is history.
How did your life change when your son was born? How did you and Dragonfly juggle between raising a foal and your respective careers?
Actually, Dragonfly and I are pretty lucky. The adjustment wasn't nearly as difficult as we thought it would be. Truth be told, I was a nervous wreck when Admiral Fairweather practically forced me to take maternity leave. I wasn't sure how I would cope with being responsible to my son while at the same time being responsible to my nation. But once Snapdragon was born, I found that the two aren't mutually exclusive. At least, not when the Wonderbolts are concerned.
There was never a moment in my life when I felt like I was neglecting Snapdragon. He got to see his mommy every day, soaring through the skies and inspiring hope in everypony. And at the end of every performance, I would also go see him before anypony else. Sometimes, I'd even take him on tour with me as we traveled all across Equestria. Once he was old enough, of course.
That being said, it wasn't quite as easy for Dragonfly. While the dragons he researched were very understanding and told him to go spend time with his son, he didn't know anything about taking care of foals. He could take care of baby dragons just fine, but when it came to Snapdragon, he just had no idea what to do. Thank Celestia Medley was on call to help him out with anything he needed. She was also our go-to babysitter whenever we both had to be away for an extended period of time.
I know there are a lot of stories about military families where a child doesn't see their mother or father for months or even years at a time. I am truly blessed not to be one of those cases, and my heart goes out to those ponies who have to deal with that kind of thing. I might not feel their pain, but that doesn't mean I don't care.
Do you only have one son and one grandchild?
Yes, I only have one son. While I did have an easier time adjusting to my new life, Dragonfly and I agreed that more than one child was simply too much for either of us to handle given our respective careers. I don't see why you think there's something wrong with that, Mr. Book.
Funny you should mention grandchildren, though. See, that's why Easyglider is visiting me right now. My daughter-in-law, Sundance, is currently with child. Snapdragon asked me to look after Easyglider for a few days while Sundance goes to the hospital and gets herself sorted out. So, yeah. I'm going to have another grandchild pretty soon. They think it might be a girl, but you can never really tell with these things until the foal is actually in your lap, you know what I mean?
Congratulations on becoming a grandmother again soon. Is Easyglider excited to get a sibling? What is he hoping for?
What are you doing with Easyglider now?
First of all, if anypony needs congratulations, it's my son Snapdragon. I honestly couldn't be more proud of him.
As for Easyglider, well, he's pretty excited to be a big brother. In fact, that's all he's been talking about since he got here. I don't think he cares whether he gets a brother or a sister, though. He says he just wants to teach them how to fly.
He's out back right now, practicing his maneuvers. He's really been getting into stunt flying lately, and I gotta say, he's pretty damn good. It always made me feel nostalgic, just watching him go. Truth be told, I see a lot of myself in him. He really does have a Wonderbolt's spirit, that Easyglider. He's got the talent, the enthusiasm, and the heart to stand with the best flyers in Equestria. Like I said before, I believe he's going to accomplish many great things when he grows up.
Actually, you know what? I think I'll go join him after I'm done answering your questions here. After all, I can't have the little rascal showing me up, now can I? Don't worry, I'll be careful. I've played with Easyglider like this before, and trust me, I know my limits.
What about Medley? Did she ever get married and have children and grandchildren?
Nah, not really. Medley has always been more of a free spirit kind of pony. She's gone on a lot of dates throughout her life, but she just never liked the idea of settling down. Sure, early on, she'd keep making excuses about not finding the "right one" and whatnot. Personally, I think she was just using that as an excuse to justify constantly trying to set me up with a special somepony when I came of age. I never understood why Medley thought I had to get married yet she didn't. I mean, sure, I'm married now, but Medley played no part in that little romance.
That's not to say she isn't good with kids, though. Medley has always had a fondness for children. She's certainly sang at enough birthday parties to know how fun they can be. That's why I trusted her with Snapdragon so much. However, she kinda winces at the idea of childbirth. I remember when I was giving birth to Snapdragon, she fainted no less than three times throughout the entire night. Why she insisted on staying in the room with me when the procedure clearly made her squeamish, I'll never know for sure. My best guess is that it's just a testament to how much she really cares about me.
What would be the best way to woo a mare?
...
You'd better not be coming onto me, Mr. Book. Otherwise, I'm going to feed you to one of Dragonfly's dragon friends. I mean, why else would you want to know that? It's not like you can put it into practice or anything. After all, you're a flipping book.
Anyway, I think the best thing to do when courting a mare is to just be yourself. That's what Dragonfly did, and he managed to win my heart without too much trouble. Granted, it was by accident, but that's leagues better than trying too hard. On the other hoof, I can't say I know any mares who would be into a magic talking book that's obsessed with flightless birds. Guess you're on your own on that one, Mr. Book.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a grandson to spend quality time with. We'll talk again later.
...
Nope, it still feels weird to say that to you. I really thought I would've gotten used to it by now. Oh well.
Could you describe your experience going through labor and childbirth?
Once it was all over, how did it feel to see and hold your son for the first time?
I'll be honest, Mr. Book. That experience is something that can't really be put into words. It really is a pain that defies all explanation. You wouldn't be able to understand it without going through it yourself. I will say this much, though. I know now why Medley is so disturbed by the concept.
But once I held Snapdragon in my hooves for the first time, I felt that all the pain I went through to bring him into this world was well worth the effort. It's just like they say: Every cloud has its silver lining.
Does Dragonfly still go out to see the dragons these days? How about you?
Dragonfly has made it a point to continue his research for as long as he can, and that means he goes to visit the dragons on a consistent basis; usually during the summer months. As for myself, well, it's a bit more complicated. Sometimes, the dragons will invite me over, and I'm happy to oblige them. But I don't think I've ever gone to see them without Dragonfly by my side.
And before you ask, no, it's not because I'm afraid of dragons. I just have trouble conversing with them. Dragonfly often says that their social structure blurs the line between sentience and sapience. That's just a fancy way of saying that they're civilized and uncivilized at the same time, and I don't know many ponies who know how to deal with that. Well, except Dragonfly, but he's spent most of his life around dragons. I haven't.
What do you find most interesting about the dragons?
The whole civilized/uncivilized thing, mainly. You really don't see that in other Equestrian creatures. They either have civilizations of their own, or they're brutish monsters who act purely on instinct. Dragons are somewhere in-between, and I think if more ponies knew that, they'd also find it fascinating. They'd certainly put more effort into understanding these majestic yet intimidating creatures.
The problem is that most ponies are too afraid of dragons to even try to learn about them. That's why Dragonfly's research isn't as recognized as it should be. Most ponies just think he's nuts. I hesitate to say that he has a thankless job, because the dragons he works with do appreciate his company. Still, a part of me laments the fact that his work will probably fade into obscurity. I guess it's a good thing that he accepted that a long time ago.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
What're you asking me for? I can't read the chicken's mind.
Easyglider taught me that one. He can be quite the wisenheimer when he wants to be.
Out of all the cadets you've helped train, was there one whose life and career you were more invested in advancing than you would normally and took them under your wing? You know, like a protege?
Normally, I'd say no. It kinda defeats the purpose of a team if you focus on making an individual pony your personal protégé. However there is one pony I ended up taking under my wing, but it's not because he was the star of his class or anything like that. Oh, he was a good flyer and all. Still is, actually. But there was one aspect of the Wonderbolts that he just didn't quite seem to grasp.
His name is Purple Dart. Right now, he's a full-fledged member of the team, and Admiral Fairweather tells me he might be taking over as CO someday. But he never would've gotten to that point without my guiding light, and he knows it. His story is something that a lot of ponies aiming to become Wonderbolts should learn from, even if it might be a tad embarrassing to him.
***
I won't mince words here, Mr. Book. When Purple Dart first came to the Academy, he was an egotistical prick. He was very eager to show everypony that he belonged on the team with the best of the best, and luckily for him, he had the skills to prove it. He was setting academy records left and right with his breakneck speeds, and he always kept pushing his limits. But there was one big problem. He didn't have much respect for his fellow peers. If you couldn't match his skill, you weren't worth his time.
During team building exercises, Purple Dart would often leave his comrades in the dust while he did everything by himself. Some cadets even seriously injured themselves trying to keep up with him. When the time came to assign him a wingpony, I couldn't think of anypony who'd want to work with the guy. Thus, I decided to take matters into my own hooves.
I called Purple Dart to my office for a private intervention, and he did not take it well. He was under the delusion that being a Wonderbolt meant being the best, and if others couldn't keep up, it was their own damn fault. I warned him that if he kept this attitude up, he would not last long in the Wonderbolts. He simply scoffed at me, saying that I'd be stupid to kick out a talented flyer like him. Big mistake on his part.
"You think you're the first hotshot dock-hole to say that to me?" I snapped. "Get this through your skull, Purple Dart. The Wonderbolts are a team. If you're not a team player, you're not welcome here."
"How can I be a team player when I'm so much better than everypony else?" Purple Dart countered. "I can't just lower myself to their level. Then I wouldn't be living up to my full potential."
Now, I could've done a few things at this point. I could've told him how I nearly died in the battle against Scylla. I could've told him about Monsoon's foolhardy charge against Typhon. But a pony like him would not listen to mere words. I had to show him how destructive his attitude was. Fortunately, I knew just how to do that.
I dismissed Purple Dart for the time being, telling him to remember what I told him. Once he was gone, I sent word to our vapor cannon technicians with new orders for the next drill.
***
A few minutes later, all the cadets were lined up on the tarmac awaiting instructions. It was a simple matter of finding flags scattered throughout the trenches below; a standard drill that the cadets have gone through before. However, there were two major differences. First, Purple Dart was allowed to fly solo. Second, I arranged for vapor cannon batteries to be hidden deep within the trenches, protecting each of the flags. The goal of the exercise was to find as many flags as possible without getting hit.
The drill proceeded just as I expected. Most of the cadets had very little trouble dealing with these new stipulations. They worked in tandem with one another, expertly dodging the vapor cannons while scooping up the flags. Purple Dart, however, wasn't so lucky. He was so focused on brazenly charging in that he got hit every single time. And boy, did he feel it. While vapor cannons are considered to be a safer alternative to thunderbolts as far as training is concerned, that doesn't mean they don't hurt. Those superheated clouds they expel can really cause nasty scalds if you're not careful.
When the drill was over, I escorted Purple Dart to the infirmary personally. He was pretty upset that he failed, saying that he'd try better next time. But then, I showed him that the rest of his cadets were pretty much fine. Naturally, this took him by complete surprise. The peers that he lorded over performed better than him, all because they worked together and listened to each other. It was then that Purple Dart realized the error of his ways, but he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to be a Wonderbolt now because of his rotten attitude.
"Don't you worry about that," I assured him. "If you're willing to learn, I'm willing to teach. After all, I was in your horseshoes once."
From that day onward, I worked with him on a more intimate level, not because he was a great flyer, but to teach him the value of teamwork just like Thistle Whistle taught me way back when. It took some practice and a lot of patience, but he eventually understood the concept. Now, he knows that being a team player and living up to your potential are not mutually exclusive. In fact, restraining yourself is just as noble as pushing yourself.
What do you fear most?
Hurting ponies unintentionally. My special talent is guiding ponies through the rough patches of life. It's one thing when I fail to do that for whatever reason. As awesome as I am, I'm not perfect. I'm a big enough pony to admit that. But when my light leads somepony to their doom, well, that's something I dread about all else. And it was Songbird's death that made me realize this fear, even if her death wasn't really my fault.
Thankfully, nothing like that ever happened to me again. However, it certainly didn't stop the nightmares from haunting my dreams for a time. I never missed Princess Luna more than during those terrible nights.
Also, If you could fight against any flightless bird, what would you choose?
Doesn't matter what kind of flightless bird it is. If it's a threat to Equestria, I'll take it on. At least, that's what I'd say if I wasn't old and retired. You seem to keep forgetting that, Mr. Book.
Who paid you to grab Dr. Pavel?!
I don't know who that is.
Tell me about Mane! Why does she wear the mask?!
I don't know who that is.
Why would you shoot a mare before throwing her out of a blimp? Or airship. Whatever.
Why would I be throwing a mare out of an airship in the first place?
If I pull that off, will you die?
Pull what off?
Well congratulations, you got yourself caught! Now what's the next part of your master plan? Have we started the fire?
...
Just when I thought you couldn't get any crazier. Is there no limit to your insanity, Mr. Book? Wait, don't answer that, actually. I really don't want to know.
Do you have a personal motto that you've used throughout your life? If so, what is it and why? If not, how would you describe your life beliefs in just a few words?
Remember when I told you about the joke epitaph Medley made for me? "Danger Was Her Life?" Truth be told, she's not entirely wrong. That's the motto I lived by: Danger is my life. Whether I was pulling off difficult stunts or defending Equestria from monsters, I was always putting my life on the line. But all of those risks I took were worth it for the sake of my fellow ponies. Of course, now that I'm retired, that motto doesn't apply to me that much anymore. Nevertheless, it's the phrase that defines my life the most.
Being the weather production of Equestria, does Cloudsdale experience its own weather?
Well, yes and no. Cloudsdale doesn't have a weather schedule like the rest of Equestria does. Our weather is simply whatever the weather is in any given region we're in. However, living in the clouds is not like living on the ground. We can technically get rain and snow if we're at a low enough altitude, but all it does is pass through the city streets. That's one thing I envy about the other tribes. They can at least play in the snow. I never felt that joy as a filly, and I kinda felt like I missed out.
Do you want to build a snowman?
...
Do you mean a snowmare? I don't really know what a snowman is. Either way, it's summer right now. The only way I could build a snowmare is by traveling to the Frozen North, and I don't think that's a good place for winter fun, anyway.
If you could become young again, what would you do? Would you finally fight an Emu?
Considering that I never wanted to fight an emu in the first place, probably not. That being said, I don't think I'd want to be young again, either. Sure, it would be nice to be able to do all the fancy flying I want without worrying about breaking something. However, I've already lived a full life with a lot of accomplishments and fond memories. Anything more than that would just feel superfluous.
Don't worry, Mr. Book. Like I said before, I'm not planning on leaving this world anytime soon. I still need to finish these memoirs, after all.
Sure, who doesn't? Most of my regrets can simply be boiled down to me losing my temper when I shouldn't have, such as the whole Chuckle-Lot debacle. But my biggest regret will always be what happened to Songbird. I know, I know. It's not really my fault that she did what she did. Even so, I still feel like I could've done more to help her, y'know?
What is the most amazing thing you've ever seen a pony do?
That would be Nimbus beating me in a race after he claimed that he was the fastest pony alive when he first joined the EUP. I thought he was just boasting, so I challenged him to a little race around Cloudsdale just to take him down a peg. He quickly proved me wrong, and I do mean quickly. Honestly, I've never seen a pegasus who could come close to matching Nimbus's top speed in my entire lifetime. I guess it's true what they say. It's not really bragging if you can back it up.
Have you ever encountered buffalo? Where exactly do they roam?
Sure, I've seen buffalo before. They mainly roam out in the Mild West; pretty far away from most pony cities. I've never spoken to one personally, since they mainly keep to themselves. But whenever Cloudsdale is in the area, I do get a certain joy out of watching them dash across the desert plains. Seriously, those guys can run as fast as the Wonderbolts can fly. That is something to be admired.
Why does he ask you how?
Who, the buffalo? No idea. Mainly because no buffalo has ever asked me anything. Again, I haven't taken the time to speak to one in person. They don't seem like the talkative type, anyway.
Could Celestia make a cake so big even she could not eat it?
I don't know; I'm not her. I don't even know why Princess Celestia would want to do that in the first place.
When did you first realize that you were becoming unable to physically handle the strain of being a Wonderbolt? What were your thoughts then? Were you willing to accept it mentally?
Well, the thing is that I didn't actually come to this realization on my own. I mentioned before that I focus so much on being an inspiration to others that I don't know when to back down. That being said, I wouldn't say I was forced into retirement, either. My son managed to stop me before I got to that point.
It started about seven years back or so. Snapdragon was out on his own, and he had just met his special somepony in the form of Sundance. He brought her to one of our shows as a first date. Of course, we managed to put on a spectacular show. At least, that's how I perceived it. Snapdragon saw something different.
During that show, I did notice that my wings felt a bit stiffer than they should. I also had trouble keeping up, to the point where I was lagging behind everypony else when I was supposed to be out in front. But I didn't acknowledge any of that on a conscious level. I was too focused on doing what I did best, and to be honest, it still wasn't half bad.
When I went to see Snapdragon after the show, I was panting like a dog. This only made him more concerned, as he told me that he feared for my life. I found this rather puzzling. Like I said, danger is my life. This shouldn't have been anything new to him. When he explained that I didn't seem to be up to snuff, I just dismissed it. After all, age is just a number, right? I still felt like I could fly with the best of them. Eventually, Snapdragon relented and dropped the subject entirely.
But as the days went on, it became more and more apparent that my age was catching up to me. I ignored it the best I could, trying to be the inspiring leader I always was. However, that didn't stop Snapdragon from confronting me after every show telling me I should pack it in. Thankfully, our debates on the subject were never that heated. I don't know if it was because I was too tired to argue properly or that Snapdragon managed to have the patience to put up with my stubbornness. Whatever the case may be, I'm glad this wasn't one of the times I shot my mouth off and said something that I would regret later.
Then, at one particular show, I simply couldn't ignore it anymore. I was struggling to pull off even the most basic of maneuvers. I still pulled them off, but it felt a lot more difficult than it needed to be. As I pushed my waning strength to its limits so that I wouldn't let my team down, I had an epiphany.
At the show before this one, Snapdragon had mentioned Thistle Whistle. He asked me what she would say if she saw me doing this to myself. It was a fair question, but I still didn't want to admit that he had a point. That conversation was playing on repeat in my brain all throughout this performance, and it shifted over to how Thistle died hiding her weakness from us. That wasn't what Snapdragon was trying to say, of course. He respects my a lot more than to reopen my old wounds like that. But I think this is one wound that needed to be reopened.
Once the show was over, I told Snapdragon that I finally understood why he was so worried about me. At this point, he and Sundance were engaged, so I said I would retire as part of my wedding present. And you know what? I was true to my word. The very next morning, I announced my retirement and relinquished my command to Admiral Fairweather. It was a very, bittersweet moment. The fact that I was too old to do what I did best, what I was meant to do, well... It stung. I won't deny that it stung a lot. But at the same time, I knew this had to be done. Thistle's death was tragic, and I didn't want my son to go through the same pain I did when I lost her. As I've said before, doing the right thing isn't always easy.
Have you ever heard of the Smooze? Can you stop it?
Yes, I have heard of the Smooze. While I've never actually seen it, I've heard that it is truly a creature to be feared. To be honest, I'm not sure if I could stop it. But if it ever became a threat to Equestria, I would damn well try, retired or not.
Have you ever seen the Kraken?
I can't say that I have. I know it's supposedly somewhere off the coast of Norneigh, but it's never come out to bother us ponies despite what some myths would have you believe. For example, I don't care what the ponies over in Norneigh say; there's no chance that it was an ally to Nightmare Moon.
Do you hear the people sing Lost in the valley of the night?
Um, no. I do not. What valley are you talking about here, anyway?
Also, Watch these birds expertly use their magic powers to disarm this bomb:
How was readjusting to civilian life after your retirement? How long did it take for it to feel normal? What did you do to occupy yourself?
Honestly, it was easier than I thought it would be. I've come to the realization that a lot of things in life are like that. I had it worked up in my mind that I would feel empty if I wasn't performing my special talent at all times, but after a few days, I found that not a whole lot had changed. I was still inspiring ponies; just in a different way. I was inspiring them by leaving behind this awesome legacy that ponies will remember for generations.
And as I've said earlier, I've been spending my time reading books and volunteering at the local museum. Oh, and playing with my grandson Easyglider, of course. In fact, I'm spending my time right now writing up these memoirs. So you can't really say I haven't found something productive to do after my retirement.
Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon or asked the grinning bobcat why he grins? Did you ever let the eagle tell you where it's been?
No, no, and no. I don't know what a blue corn moon is, eagles don't typically speak to me (even if they could, I doubt I'd be able to understand them), and I don't give a damn about why bobcats grin.
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
The devil? What do you mean by the devil? That's usually a word ponies use to describe someone that's malevolent and beyond redemption. For example, I consider Lord Tirek to be a devil, as do most ponies. I've never danced with him in the pale moonlight, though. Nor any other devils I could think of.
I swear, your questions keep getting stranger and stranger, Mr. Book. It's getting hard for me to keep up.
What if your world was completely fictional, and everything both you and everyone around you thought and did were the results of some author's imagination? How would you respond to that?
Case in point.
Again, I'm not a philosophical pony. I don't really consider these things like the unicorn scholars of Canterlot do. However, there is one simple truth that prevents your scenario from becoming a reality. And that is Haycartes's famous maxim: "Cogito ergo sum." That is translated to: "I think, therefore I am." As such, you'd be hard-pressed to convince me or anypony else that we're all in some fantasy world dreamt up by an outside force beyond our understanding. Even you have to admit that's pretty silly, Mr. Book.
...
Huh. I felt a tingle in the back of my brain just now. Meh, probably nothing.
I've mainly been getting into historical biographies. Seeing as I have this great legacy, I might as well get to know the other folks who made their way into the history books. I've read stories about Smart Cookie, Starswirl the Bearded, King Grover of Griffonstone, and many others. The most recent one I've gotten into is The Life and Times of Morari the Maneless. Very fascinating stuff.
What exactly do you do at the museum? What is your favorite part about it?
Basically stand around in front of exhibits all day. I'll be honest; the Cloudsdale Historical Society is not one of the more popular museums in Equestria. Then again, it's hard to attract a crowd when only pegasi can visit it properly. But I still like hanging around the exhibitions and taking a peek into our history. I'll occasionally give impromptu lectures when a young colt or filly asks me about some relic from the Griffon War or something along those lines, but that's very rare.
How did it feel to become independent, leave your parents' home and strike out on your own for the first time?
Well see, that's a tricky question, Mr. Book. The day I moved out of my parents' house is the day I joined the Cloudsdale Militia. As such, I didn't really have my own place of residence until after I replaced Monsoon as CO. Before then, I lived in the barracks with the other soldiers.
But once I got my own place, it really wasn't that overwhelming or scary. Again, this happened after my promotion to CO, so I kinda felt like I earned it. Trust me, when you feel like you've earned something, you're much more mentally prepared for it. Sure, there was some difficulty getting myself settled, but Medley was more than happy to help me out. She even rented out her apartment to me while the real estate agents got everything set up in my new home. She really is too good to me sometimes.
What does the fox say?
...
Well, at least you're expanding your repertoire beyond flightless birds. I'll give you that much. But suffice to say, I was never a zoologist, Mr. Book. I really don't have an answer to that question.
Of course. That's how I met my husband Dragonfly, after all. Weren't you paying attention?
How would you feel if I suddenly exploded, causing you to be mortally wounded?
I think if you really wanted to do that, you would've done it already.
Also, please tell me a story about emus.
No. I will not do that. I've put up with a lot of your shenanigans, but this is where I draw the line, Mr. Book. Emus played no part in my life, and that's final.
What was life like in the Cloudsdale Militia? Could you describe your first day there?
Life in the barracks was pretty rough. There's really no other way to describe it. As I mentioned before, the Cloudsdale Militia is where I was whipped into shape, thanks in no small part to our CO, Captain Monsoon. And my first meeting with Monsoon could've gone a lot better.
On my very first day at the training grounds, I got into a big fight. Thistle Whistle joined up the same time as me, and right away, other recruits were picking on her. Of course, I stepped in to defend her honor. One thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, I was sitting in Monsoon's office along with the pricks who started the fight in the first place. Suffice to say, he was not happy with any of us.
I was confined to barracks for three days for engaging in fisticuffs while the other recruits got put on KP. You can only imagine how frustrated I was by this. My first day in the military, and I had to spend it in bed because I had the nerve to stand up for a pony who had trouble standing up for herself. If you were in my horseshoes, I'd bet you'd feel the same way. Of course Thistle, being Thistle, tried to make it up to me in any way she could. However, I was just too mad at her to acknowledge it, even though she really had nothing to apologize for. Again, it wasn't until my first taste of combat against Scylla that I realized just what a good friend Thistle Whistle was to me.
But that's not to say I didn't learn my lesson. After those three days, I made a concerted effort to control my temper and avoid getting into fights. There were still times when I lashed out, but those incidents became less and less frequent as time went on.
How was basic training? Was it anything like you expected?
It actually pretty much matched my expectations. There were cloud-busting exercises; laps around the facility; team-building drills; all that good stuff. Back when I was a filly, young pegasi were exposed to the concept of basic training at a young age. It was all part of our military culture. They still teach the material today, but unless you really want to join the military, it's not required.
Do you have any enemies, rivals, or ponies you just can't stand being around?
Not really. When you're a military pony, you don't have the luxury of forming petty rivalries with others. Because one day, that rival may just end up saving your life, or visa versa. Now, that's not to say that ponies didn't get on my nerves from time to time. Before I knew just how important Thistle Whistle was to me, I always got annoyed by her constant whistling. I also got annoyed at schmucks who tried to bring her down because of her nervous habit. And I can't say I was a big fan of Songbird insulting the military left and right, even if she did have her reasons.
But I would never call any of these ponies my enemy. At the end of the day, we were all still fighting for the same thing. My only enemies were those who wished harm on Equestria and its citizens. And that is a position I think most ponies in the military should take, if they haven't already.
Do you ever find yourself loosing track of time?
More so nowadays than back when I was in active service. Especially when it comes to answering your questions, Mr. Book. You just have so many things to say, even if some of it is nonsensical. I'm actually worried that I might end up dying while writing in you.
...
Just a bit of morbid humor there. Don't worry yourself, Mr. Book.
Goodnight.
Goodnight? Goodness gracious, have I really been writing in your for that long? Hold on, let me check the time...
...
Very funny, Mr. Book. It's only noon.
Or, is this your way of saying goodbye? I'm willing to answer more questions if you have them, but at the same time, I do have a decent amount of material for my memoirs. Maybe I should start wrapping this up pretty soon. I hope you don't mind.
Either way, thank you. I was very skeptical about this at first, and your weird questions did throw me off quite a bit. But I can't say this wasn't fun. There's something, magical about reliving my life through answering these questions, y'know? Talking about all of the glory, the heartbreak, and everything in-between just helps me realize what an awesome pony I truly am. And I'm not saying that just to boast; it's all documented history.
So, again, I thank you for helping me with these memoirs. If you do happen to have any other questions before we part ways, I'll be happy to answer them. For now, have a nice rest, Mr. Book.
...
And it still feels weird to say that to you. I guess there are some things in life that you just don't get used to.
You'll have to ask Snapdragon that question. He's the gardener, not me.
What's your favorite weapon?
My bare hooves. I never had much need for any fancy toys when it came to combat, except for the occasional thundercloud. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Have you ever met a pony that somehow could know and do things that defied all logic, and yet was just accepted for what he or she was?
That's, oddly specific, Mr. Book. I'm afraid I don't really know anypony like that. Kinda wish I did, now that you mention it. Oh well, you can't win 'em all.
Who was your bigger hero when you were a filly and why?
As I said in the beginning, my biggest heroes growing up were Commander Hurricane, Private Pansy, and my grandfather Aquilinus. They all inspired me to join the military, and their actions helped shape the pony I am today.
Who are your heroes of today's day and age?
Well, I can't speak for myself, but these days, ponies have a lot of heroes to look up to. For pegasi, there are the Wonderbolts, of course. The unicorns have the great wizards and magi such as Starswirl the Bearded and Meadowbrook. The Earth Ponies have the pioneers of the deep south, such as the Apple Family. And of course, we all look up to Princess Celestia for her amazing leadership and benevolence.
Do you consider yourself a hero?
Indeed I do, Mr. Book. Indeed I do.
Also, For the love of all that is good and right, tell me an emu story! I'm begging you, lives are on the line! Just make up something, anything. The fate of the world depends on it!
...
You really are desperate, aren't you? Well, seeing as this may very well be the last time we speak like this, I guess I could indulge you just this once.
Once upon a time, there was a book who was obsessed with emus. It constantly pestered the pegasus writing in it to talk about how epic and badass they were, even though they had nothing to do with her life. Finally, she gave in and told the book this story. Afterwards, she gave the book to an emu so they could marry each other. The end.
If given the chance, is there anything you wish to do over again?
I would really love nothing more than to go back and save Songbird. I know, her death wasn't really my fault. But the reason I formed the Wonderbolts is because I wanted to break away from the militaristic pegasi traditions of old. I really should've taken a stand and let Songbird drop out of the EUP. Military life just wasn't for her, and she paid the price for being thrust into it against her will. Out of all of my regrets in life, that one will continue to sting me the most.
What do you want to happen more than anything in the world?
I'm not really sure. I mean, I couldn't really ask for anything more at this point. The Wonderbolts continue to achieve what we've set out to do, and Equestria continues to bask in an era of peace. There's nothing else I really want. Well, except maybe the return of Princess Luna, but I recognize that if she does come back, it won't be in my lifetime.
Based on your experiences, what do you hope for future generations to learn, do and become?
Future generations should never lose sight of what the Wonderbolts stand for. We work together to protect the peace and inspire pegasi of all stripes to strive for greatness. For any aspiring Wonderbolt, that means a lot of things.
For instance, being the best does not mean you're perfect. At the same time, however, don't become discouraged when your life becomes turbulent. Know your limits, but don't be afraid to push yourself if the situation calls for it. Teamwork is just as important as being great on your own. Hold nothing back against your foes, but try not to lash out at your friends if you can help it. Be mindful of how you conduct yourself in front of others.
But most importantly, know that you are but one pony. Even if you're making a difference that'll shape the very course of history, you're doing so for the sake of future generations, and you're not doing it alone. We all have our egos, but the Wonderbolts keep them in check for the sake of everypony else. Never, ever become blinded by selfish pride. Instead, be proud that you are showing other ponies how great they can be, and that you're contributing to this wonderful legacy that started with an ambitious young general and her squadron wanting to give young ponies something to aspire to, even if they had no interest in the military. As long as future Wonderbolt COs continue to take these concepts to heart, I believe the Wonderbolts will endure for many generations to come.
And that, I believe, is that. Once again, thank you for everything, Mr. Book. We've had some good times and some, weird times. But all in all, I've enjoyed answering your questions and getting my memoirs in order. Now, if you'll excuse me, I still have to find an emu for you to marry.
