Could you trust a pony that can make you love them, no matter what? Could you trust a friend with a secret past you've recently discovered? Twilight would really like answers to these questions.
Something is very wrong with Princess Cadance. Everypony close to her knows, except Twilight Sparkle. Something is very wrong with Twilight Sparkle. No pony knows, not even Twilight herself.
One problem lies hidden from the world and the other sits out in the open, invisible.
Something is very wrong.
This is not your traditional shipfic and touches on topics of addiction, recovery and relapse. Additionally, while this was originally written as prompt submissions to the Magic of Love: A Twidance Prompt Collab, they have been expanded upon to give more information.
Belated thanks go out to Misago and Pearple Prose for editing and being all around awesome dudes. Change Log: Additional Edits have been made to Chapter 1 and 2 so that they feel less "prompty" and are less telly.
“That certainly is loud.” Princess Cadance frowned slightly as more tiny explosions went off inside the microwave. “Is this a new brand?”
“Nope. It might be a new bag design though.” Twilight smirked as she trotted past Cadance with a bundle of blankets and pillows. “Or, maybe my microwave just has cheap soundproofing.”
“You can get a better one, you know. You are a princess now, Twilight.”
“Maybe.” Twilight paused at the threshold to the main room of the library and looked back at Cadance with a shrug. “But it still works, so there’s no reason in replacing it.”
“I guess you’re right about that. I’m so used to the ‘princess life’ now that when things don’t work perfectly as they should, I almost never notice when they are replaced by Shining or the maids.”
“I don’t have maids. I have Spike, and he never throws anything out unless I crack the whip a few times.” Twilight giggled. “I’m still adjusting to the whole thing, really. Some new duties, some new responsibilities. At least I get shelf upon shelf of new books on the subject to study!”
Cadance chuckled and shrugged as the microwave dinged and powered down. Her horn glowed as she took the popcorn and poured it into a large bowl. “How much butter and salt do you want?”
Twilight trotted out into the library’s main room. “Salt: light. Butter: copious!”
A moment later, Cadance followed Twilight into the central room of the tree. “So where is Spike?” Cadance set the popcorn down on a low table in front of a plush couch.
“Visiting Sweet Apple Acres. He and the crusaders are all helping with the harvest again this year and Applejack agreed to a sleepover.” Twilight smiled as she arranged the bedding in front of the projection screen. “I told her we get so few opportunities to spend time together that she was happy to help out. You know how AJ gets when it’s about family.”
Cadance smiled. “That was very nice of her. Remind me to thank AJ afterwards. Unless the movie sucks.”
“Hey!” Twilight mock scowled at her fellow alicorn. “That was one time and it was over ten years ago!”
The romantic comedy Twilight had rented was beyond predictable. Cadance had to force herself to not roll her eyes every time the main characters got into an awkward, completely unrealistic situation designed to bring them closer. She knew she could write a better love story in her sleep.
The irony of the fact that Cadance had found herself in such a similar type of situation wasn’t lost on her.
Somehow, about halfway through the popcorn, they had both migrated under the same blanket on the floor in front of the screen. Twilight started the night very animated - bouncing even - and teased her about the overly saccharine and cheesy portrayal of “love” in the movie. It was just like when they were younger. Only now it was a girls’-night-in together instead of them watching a kids-movie while Twilight’s parents were out and Cadance was getting paid bits by the hour.
But now...things were different.
This wasn’t a cute little foal resting against her shoulder. This wasn’t a dorky, prepubescent unicorn snuggling into her side as they watched a movie before bedtime. This was Twilight. Twilight, the adorable savior of both Equestria and the Crystal Empire. Twilight, the alicorn Princess of Magic itself and her very own sister-in-law, leaned onto her shoulder and the soft feathers at the base of her wing just as she had all those years ago.
Cadance knew love. She could sense love around her like other ponies could smell haybacon. It made her stomach growl. To many, she was just as much the Princess of Love as Twilight was Princess of Magic. Cadance knew that she loved Twilight just as much as if they were sisters by more than marriage and that Twilight returned the feeling. They filled that role for each other in a way that biology had come up short on.
Cadance also knew passion and desire like the back of her hoof, as they so often were the boon companions of the love she controlled and directed. They came in just as many flavors as love itself and she could feel that old feeling welling up inside her. It was supposed to be dead and buried, the earth salted until it was nothing more than a relic of her past. Apparently it was not to be.
She swallowed the lump that kept forming in her throat as Twilight yawned and pushed herself closer. The mare was certainly older and wiser now but she still seemed to have the habit of leaning on other ponies when she got tired. Cadance did her best to control her breathing as Twilight got comfortable against her. If she could hold out until Twilight fell asleep then she could extract herself and get to her overnight bag in the bathroom and Twilight would never know.
Cadance frowned to herself. Perhaps she should invest in more saddlebags; then she could keep her pills on hoof for whenever the need arose. She was certainly in need now and her medication sat teasingly near by, just outside the reach of her magic. The stubborn and intrusive thoughts were already starting. She kept her eyes and ears on the screen as (Twilight is so warm) the bumbling lead stallion knocked over (Twilight’s head on her shoulder just felt so right) a fruit stand in a fumbled attempt to avoid being caught staring by his paramore. She couldn’t even remember the character’s names or how the movie had reached the scene. Twilight was starting to crowd everything else out of her mind. She could smell Twilight’s shampoo when she leaned on her shoulder.
That old familiar burn started to build up in her nethers. The tingle it sent up her spine felt good but she knew it for the siren’s song it was. If she didn’t put a stop to it soon she would be in for a very uncomfortable set of conversations later, to say nothing about what it would do to her pride. She hadn’t had a relapse in months and having one during a rare free moment with Twilight was the last thing she wanted.
A loud crash from the movie snapped Cadance’s thoughts back to the here and now. Another funny scene was playing out in front of her and she couldn’t remember how it had been reached. The tingle felt like a live wire worming through her. She knew she couldn’t wait any longer.
“Twilight? Could you pause the film? I have to visit the little fillies room.” Cadance stood abruptly and shrugged off the blanket. If Twilight noticed the stiffness in her movements or the slight quiver in her voice, she didn’t mention it.
Minutes later, Cadance sighed as she looked briefly back at herself in mirror. She looked tired. Her deceptively festive-looking pill organizer sat open on the counter, now missing one of the tiny blue colored doses. The tingle faded quickly under the haze of the medication. Her heart was slowing back to normal speed and her crotch didn’t feel hot enough to set fire to anything. She kept her breathing deep and even and focused on a spot of wall just above and to the right of her head. It usually took about twenty minutes for the medicine to fully kick in. She knew she couldn’t hide in the bathroom that long without raising questions from Twilight however.
Cadance stood and flushed the toilet for effect while she closed and slipped her organizer back into her overnight bag. She could do this. It was just Twilight, Shining’s little sister. Her sister-in-law, for crying out loud. The medicine quelled that urge. She had to have faith. The medicine and the therapy silenced that voice. She had to have faith. She was a normal pony.
“How are you holding up, slow poke?” Cadance glanced down below where Twilight was starting to huff and pant in the cool, thin air. “We’re almost there!”
Cadance spread her wings in the thinning atmosphere, catching the last hint of the warm updraft that had helped them ascend for the past few minutes. She grabbed the wind and pushed hard, one final time, to get herself up and over the edge of the wispy cloud that was their destination. She settled herself and took a big gulp of cold, high-altitude air to get her breathing and heart rate under control.
Cadance grinned fiercely and gave her wings a quick flick to align her feathers comfortably before folding them against her sides. The weather was perfect for a day out flying with her sister-in-law. The air was mostly still with just the right mix of moisture to form long, sparse clouds that snaked through the sky like waves in slow-motion. Her empire spread out below her like a glittering carpet, and she could feel the warmth of the mid-day sun on her back.
Twilight collapsed in a disorganized, exhausted heap next to her. Cadance chuckled with a slight wheeze. “I am so out of practice," she lamented. "You would think that, having been born a pegasus, I’d be reasonably good at flying.”
“Flutter...Fluttershy is...is like that.” Twilight rolled unceremoniously onto her back as her chest heaved with each breath. “By Faust, this cloud is high up!”
Cadance smirked and nodded. “I like to come up here once a week, if I can. Mostly for the exercise. The Crystal Empire is almost 90% earth ponies with most of the remainder being unicorns. I don’t get the chance to fly with other ponies very often.”
“There are gryphon settlements nearby.” Twilight coughed as she tried to ease her breathing. “They fly all along the mountain ranges near here and down to coast in the west. I read a book about it once. They trade goods near Vanhoover, if I remember correctly.”
“As if you would forget something like that. Of course you’re right too. We have our own trade agreements with the Gryphon Aeries.” Cadance rolled her eyes. “I can barely keep up with other pegasi! I wouldn’t even try to do the long distance flights the gryphons prefer.”
Twilight chuckled, her breathing having returned to somewhere near normal. She shifted around and climbed to her hooves so she could look out over the edge of the cloud at the whole of Equus spread out far below. The Crystal Empire sat directly beneath them, the central castle glinting in the mid-day sun like a beacon that was visible for dozens of leagues in every direction.
Twilight whistled to herself and turned back to Cadance. “You come up here just for exercise? This view is amazing!”
“I know, right?” Cadance smiled. “The view is one of the perks of having the sky to myself here. And it's quiet, too. Normally, it’s just me and the wind blowing my mane into my face. Your brother tells me I look serene and majestic when I sit and think on a cloud.”
“I could see that.” Twilight sighed and settled herself comfortably so she could still see most of the view their vantage point offered. “What do you think about?”
“Boring political stuff most of the time. I wonder constantly how Aunt Celestia managed to rule Equestria by herself for so long. It’s interesting, but it’s tedious too.” Cadance let her voice fade as she watched a small patch of the pale blue sky. “When that isn’t weighing on my mind… well, I think about Shining, or you, or the new friends I’m making here. I can safely claim that my mind isn’t clouded very much these days.”
***
Twilight could remember their days together back in Canterlot when they had been younger and the few times that Cadance had acted...weird. She’d never really thought much of it at the time. A younger Twilight had just assumed that was how teenaged mares were. It certainly had seemed that way when she had first realized that her big brother and her foalsitter were in love.
As she thought back on those times, Twilight couldn’t help but wonder. Sometimes Cadance had seemed almost afraid of her. She never did or said anything really odd, but from time to time, Twilight would see it in her eyes. Her pupils would lock on and narrow, her nostrils would flare as she inhaled sharply. Sometimes she’d bite her lip. Sometimes that look, that hidden...whatever it was...wasn’t afraid. Sometimes it looked hungry. In that way she had seen Cadance look at her brother now and then. It was always quick. Blink-and-you-miss-it sort of moments.
There were times when Cadance would be acting normally and then sort of lose focus and babble for a moment and break out in a sweat. She would close her eyes and hold her breath like she was trying to hold something in. Over the years, there were less and less of those odd incidents. Cadance had remained her friend until school and conflicting schedules had simply pulled them apart.
During the intervening years, Twilight could recall Shining having a few hushed conversations with their father. She didn’t consider herself a nosey foal, but sometimes she couldn’t help but overhear parts. It had always mystified her if Shining was concerned about Cadance or for Cadance.
Now, they were reconnecting and Cadance was still the wonderful mare she had always known her to be. But then, a few weeks ago when they had revived the old tradition of a girls-only movie night, there had been another one of those strange incidents. Cadance had slipped away to the bathroom in the middle of the movie but she had moved so suddenly and stiffly that Twilight couldn’t have not noticed. It wasn’t something she was proud of but she followed Cadance. She’d stood silently outside the bathroom and listened until the toilet flushed. She’d rushed back to the living area in front of the big screen and tossed the blanket over herself. Cadance returned a moment later, all smiles and perfectly normal once again.
Twilight fought to keep her face neutral. She didn’t want to show Cadance how guilty she felt inside for listening in on her in the bathroom. She didn’t want Cadance to know that she had heard the muttering, or the sounds of what was possibly a pill case snapping open and closed. She didn’t want Cadance to know about the researching she had done afterwards. But all of her research had only led her to more questions. Questions and frustrating court-sealed documents.
It wasn’t her business. Twilight told herself that it wasn’t, not truly. She hadn’t turned over some great conspiracy, just circumstantial evidence of a potential secret. It wasn’t her business. It was only a secret kept by her oldest friend and one that seemed to have no harm in being kept. Some things are like that, no matter the itch not knowing gave her. It tickled and tingled behind her eyes. It wasn’t her business. No matter how much she wanted to know.
“What’s wrong, Shining?” Cadance raised her eyebrow in surprise as she walked in on her husband. He’d beaten her to the bedroom. Between her duties as the Queen Regent of the Crystal Empire and Shining’s duties as head of the guard and de facto leader of the Crystal Municipalities Corps, they rarely made it to bed at the same time. Most evenings, she made it in before him, but tonight he was sitting on the bed with an odd look on his face.
Shining looked up and smiled at his wife. “Hmm? Oh nothing, I just had an odd thought.”
“Oh?” Cadance returned the smile and stepped beside Shining to nuzzle him softly. “I know a thing or two about odd thoughts. Is something on your mind, Shiny?”
Shining slipped off their bed with a grunt and put an arm over her withers. “No, not really. It’s just…” Shining turned them both toward the master bath suite. “Do you think I’m getting old? I completely blew off the gym today because I was having too much fun in the office. Is city planning supposed to be this interesting?”
Shining chuckled and lit the lights with his horn. Cadance turned on the shower and slipped her royal vestments off as she smirked at him. “Having fun rebuilding the kingdom? Where is the stallion I married? Who is this moderately handsome, glorified clerk?”
“Moderately?” Shining groaned. “I’ll have you know I’ve still got all my strength and skill that made me captain of the guard.”
Cadance giggled and stepped into the shower. She let the water cascade down over her coat and mane for a moment. She could feel Shining Armor’s eyes on her like a physical force as she moved to wet every inch of her body. Cadance looked back and lifted her tail slightly. “Oh? Prove it.”
Shining grinned and slipped into the shower next to Cadance, letting the water rain down over him for a moment before kissing her on the cheek. He stayed close and rested his horn against hers. "In the mood, or should I go ahead and throw up a shield just in case, sweetheart?"
Cadance smiled gently and returned the kiss. "In the mood. Besides, I need to prove to this moderately handsome clerk that I'm still young and fun."
The rain fell in Canterlot, singing its percussive symphony from the rooftops and the streets and the occasional umbrella of the unfortunate caught out in the downpour. The colorful accessories gaily danced like flowers between the buildings and the castle, going about their business while those inside did the same, but with a great deal less splashing.
On any given rainy day, Princess Celestia was glad when she had no duties that took her out into it. The humidity never seemed to agree with her coat. At the moment she almost wished that some pressing duty did warrant her attention, rain or no rain. It wasn’t a feeling she normally experienced when taking time with Twilight, but the newest princess of Equestria was beginning to make her uncomfortable.
“You can do it, right? One word from you is all it takes. Please?”
Celestia said nothing but shook her head slowly, her eyes focused on nothing in particular as she waited for the inevitable.
“You won’t unseal the documents for me, will you?”
Celestia shook her head and lifted her cup in her magic. “It would not be right of me, you know that Twilight. Cadance hasn’t given her permission for the documents to be released and I highly doubt that she ever would for any reason. It is not something happy from her past.”
“I know.” Twilight sighed and blew on her own hot cup of espresso. “But you know how my mind works. I can’t let go of stuff like this. I want to talk to Cadance about it but...I’m scared, Princess.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Heavens! The amazing Twilight Sparkle, heroine of all Equestria, is openly admitting fear? Such scandal! Whatever will befall us?”
Twilight rolled her eyes and finished off her coffee. “It’s just a really weird thing to ask! I’ve know Cadance for a long time, and finding out she has parts of her history sealed by the Equestrian Judicial Authority with your stamp on it...it’s just infuriating. I know it’s probably something Cadance wouldn’t want me to know. I know it’s none of my business. But knowing that makes me no less curious!”
Celestia remained silent for a time, watching the steam rise from her mug. After a few moments she set it back on the table next to a large, faded manilla envelope that carried her seal from more than twenty years ago. “I understand your plight, Twilight. I’m sure you see the sense in speaking with Cadance about this. Were you, not a mere ten minutes ago, telling me about your wonderful visit to the Empire and reconnecting with her? My advice would be to tell her you know that something happened and, you have a deep sense of curiosity born from your friendship with her, about it. Cadance knows how your mind works just as well as I do.”
“Perhaps, but I don’t understand her mind at all. Despite spending most of my free time as a foal with her, I’ve never really understood her. Things like this show me just how little I know about one of my best friends.” Twilight turned the envelope around to stare at it. “This is a criminal case and that just does not compute. Cadance isn’t a criminal! She might act oddly every now and then but she is not a bad pony.”
“No,” Celestia agreed, “she is not a bad pony. But the details are hers to divulge or keep hidden, Twilight. I hope you can respect that.”
Twilight frowned but pushed the thick envelope away. “I know. I just really don’t want to hurt her feelings. I don’t want her to think ill of me for looking into this either. I wish I’d never heard her mumbling in the bathroom all those weeks ago.”
Celestia chose not to respond and took up her coffee again. They sat in silence as the rain continued to pour down outside.
Cadance lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as she listened to the quiet sounds of the palace. Shining breathed rhythmically next to her, already fast asleep. Infrequent insomnia was a side effect of her medication. Cadance had thought they had taken care of it the old fashion way, but not long after laying down, she felt the tingle and heat building up inside again. So she’d taken her pills. There weren't many left. She turned and watched her husband rest and traced the lines of his jaw with one hoof. She wasn’t exactly sure how she felt at the moment. It was always like that when the medicine hit her system and her emotions rearranged themselves and her mind and nethers grew quiet. She wasn’t confused, just oddly detached from the world around her.
Cadance was glad, in a way, for her sleeplessness. Her emotional state had become a growing concern as of late and she welcomed the opportunity to do some quiet introspection. She certainly seemed to be having a lot of flare-ups recently. Ever since she had decided to visit Twilight and Discord had shown up out of the blue and thrown them all for a loop with his ‘sickness.’ She’d had her trusted doctors go over her with a fine tooth comb after the first flare-up shortly after returning home.
They ruled out Discord’s chaos magic being the culprit...but Cadance had her doubts. It seemed too convenient to run across the mad god and have him be cleared of all guilt. If not Discord, then what could have triggered something she has spent the better part of her life suppressing to the point of nonexistence?
Perhaps it was just time for an adjustment to her medication again. Maybe she was developing a stronger resistance. Cadance gave herself a mental note to speak with her therapist about that when she saw him at her regularly scheduled appointment. Shining would worry again, but she knew he’d see the wisdom in checking everything they could for a solution. Having an alicorn that can control love have a fit in the middle of a public place would not be a PR challenge he would want.
Even in her detached state, Cadance could feel the absence of that old familiar tingle. It wasn’t calling her from down low inside, but it let her know that it would be there if the medicine stopped working. It almost ached, like a ghost remembered, its whisper too quiet to hear unless the medicine stopped working. It rattled in its pony-made chemical cage. It would get out, if the medicine stopped working. Cadance really wasn’t sure what she was going to do.
Normally, Twilight wasn’t a big fan of ponies treating her differently now that she was a princess but tonight as those ponies bowed to her as she passed by, they gave her an idea. It was a horrible idea that she should feel ashamed just for having in her mind. Twilight knew she should stop. She should heed the wise counsel of Princess Celestia, but she knew already that she wasn’t going to. At least she wasn’t so far gone to realize that.
She had gone to the library after her meeting with the Princess. She was on edge and research calmed the nerves. Besides, she was curious about the feasibility of her perfectly awful idea. It nagged at her like a thorn in her hoof, worming its way deeper with each step she had taken toward her destination. Twilight knew she was supposed to let it go and just ask Cadance. She could do that. She was a princess herself now.
That was the problem.
Twilight licked her dry lips and stared at the open book on the table in front of her. She sat there calmly as she digested the words and their simple meaning that allowed her to be the monster she was contemplating becoming. Her actions - sadly, somehow - wouldn’t be illegal. There wasn’t precedence for what she was contemplating, but it was spelled out in black and white legal font in front of her.
The Equestrian Judicial Authority kept extensive records at their main building complex in Canterlot. Their library of books on law and cases held more work than she could have read in a standard pony lifetime. Perhaps, if she turned out to be immortal in her new alicornhood, she would one day invest the time to read it all. Right now however, Twilight only needed a tiny section of library’s treasure trove. Specifically, the books on laws concerning the Princess and her interaction with the Equestrian Judicial Authority and its rulings.
Looking at the absurdly small stack of tomes on the table made her feel a little silly to have already found the answer to her question. Twilight Sparkle was nothing if not methodical. She’d started at the beginning. The earliest collections of laws that had to deal with Celestia went back to the time just before the formation of the Authority, when Luna had still been a part of living memory, before moving into history as a legendary figure.
The old language was hard to make out in places but it made firm the most basic aspects of Celestia’s powers and influence in dealing with the then infant judicial system. The Princess’ word wasn’t law, but she had great say in what would build the moral framework of Equestrian law. Early on, her powers had been extended to Luna - in absentia - should the younger sister ever return.
That little tidbit led her to another idea and pushed her a little closer to the line that separated her from becoming...whatever a law abiding pony was when they weren’t good. Twilight made a mental note to consult a dictionary afterwards.
Twilight switched up her search and jumped to the far more recent law registries. Cadance’s ascension to alicornhood had changed the game almost thirty years ago. Her emplacement as a landed Princess changed things again. Twilight’s own ascension would have it’s effect on Equestrian law eventually. Twilight pushed the thought that the very actions she was taking at that moment might be the very first way she affected it.
The first book she had picked off the shelf that came from the right time period held the by-law she feared existed. When Cadance - at a very young age - had ascended, Celestia had the forethought to create a by-law that extended her judicial powers to all Princesses. Retroactively. It was a ‘just-in-case’ ruling. It was meant, in spirit, to allow the judicial system to continue to work as intended so long a princess was involved. It was meant to allow Luna or Cadance take Celestia’s place if need be.
There was no ‘need be’ in this case. No more need than her own clawing need to know what lay inside those manilla folders The spirit of the by-law would be violated if she proceeded. It simply meant, if Princess Twilight Sparkle wanted to, she could unseal any court documents she wanted to by dint of being a Princess.
Twilight’s hoof hovered over the folders and envelopes. She was a flick of the wrist away from going against the wishes of Princess Celestia. She felt ill to her stomach but that discomfort paled against the screaming thing in her head that had to know. She had to know but no pony should ever know about her actions. She was going to need to hide everything.
“Thank you, Dr. Open Heart.” Cadance smiled gratefully as a small orange pill bottle was levitated toward her.
“Now I know it’s only one dose, my dear, but it’s all I have on hoof. I can get you a full order tomorrow.”
“It’s no problem. I don’t think it will be an issue. I’ll send somepony to pick it up; I have to be in court all day tomorrow.”
Dr. Open Heart smiled like the kindly grandfather she had never known. “The Crystal Empress’ job is never done, hmmm?”
“Sadly, no.” Cadance rose from the comfortable familiarity of the plush fainting couch in the old therapist’s office. “I’ll see you next month. Same time, yes?”
Dr. Open Heart nodded affectionately. “Of course dear, but if you need me, you can always get a session whenever. You can also send a scroll if you want. My door is always open to you, Princess.”
“I know and I’m glad.” Cadance smiled and stepped over to the doctor and gave him a tight hug. “See you soon. I hope this new blend helps.” She indicated the pill bottle as she dropped it into her saddle bag.
“I believe it will. This new rash of flare-ups is worrisome.”
“I’m sure the tests will tell us something when they come back.” Cadance sighed and turned toward the door, her horn lighting up as she cast a quick disguise spell that Twilight had taught her long ago. Her horn hidden and color palette swapped, Cadance stepped out of Dr. Open Heart’s office and nodded a greeting to the secretary.
“Another visit next month, Miss Devotion?”
“Yes.” Cadance nodded again as the earth pony penciled her in, none the wiser to her true identity. She flicked her wing to wave goodbye as she cantered for the door and stepped out into the humid mid-day air. Vanhoover spilled out before her with the hustle and bustle of ponies going about their daily lives in the mist coming off the cobblestones after an early rainshower.
‘Etna Devotion’ trotted down the street toward the less busy end of the street where it met the river and tee’d off in opposite directions. The few ponies she passed paid her little attention thanks to her disguise’s unassuming mud brown on coffee brown pallet and wild, big hair style that was about as boring as could be. It changed her cutie mark to a heart drawn in the foam of a mocha latte, a boring special talent if there ever was one.
Sometimes, she went shopping or just sight-seeing in her ‘Devotion’ disguise, but today Cadance felt like getting home to the Crystal Palace. As she neared the river, the street began to slope gently down, and she started to pick up speed. Once she reached a full on gallop, Cadance flared her wings wide and let her pegasus magic form along her feather tips. A few swift flaps and she was airborne just as she ran out of pavement.
Vanhoover was a beautiful city, particularly from the air. Tall trees towered above most of the buildings which were set alongside wide avenues that tended to meander through the hills and over the slow moving rivers. It was the nearest Equestrian settlement of any note to the borders of her Crystal Empire. Long ago, in Sombra’s time, Vanhoover had been a part of the Empire. Tiny hints of the architecture and names from that time still survived, but even to her trained eye, it was hard to see.
Vanhoover was also where Dr. Open Heart, Cadance’s long time therapist and confidant had set up shop after she became the Queen Regent of the Empire. He had followed her all the way from Canterlot, but the biting cold in the Empire was too much for his old bones, so they compromised and kept her sessions as under the rug as they could. Her little disguise spell worked most of the time, but it meant she had to come alone. It was both a blessing and curse, since it helped keep her condition in the shadows from her ponies, but kept Shining from joining her.
Thankfully, the flight wasn’t very far, but it was always taxing, even with her horn tingling with a navigation spell. If the winds showed her favor, she could reach home within two hours. Not for the first time, Cadance cursed her poor flying endurance. She was going to need a lot more practice if she was going to have make any emergency trips.
Cadance kept her altitude low, skimming over the green canopy of sequoias until they began to give way to the shorter furs and scrub at the southern edge of her nation. Tiny log cabins dotted the landscape, most of them empty camping and hunting lodges that would house ponies or the occasional griffin in the coming harsh winters. They were rarely locked, so she’d found it useful to take a break at one on her route when making these long trips. She just needed to catch her breath for a few minutes before heading onward to the Empire’s capital.
Cadance smiled to herself as she lined up her approach to a house she’d used multiple times before. It was very beautiful in this area, with wide spaces between the immense trees that allowed for colorful underbrush to grow and bloom with late season blossoms. It was like landing inside a painting. Twilight would love it here. The cozy cabin offered as much silence as the clouds did and was twice as likely to keep a pony from getting wet in a storm. She could imagine Twilight gushing over the views and talking nonstop about the plants or the animals or whatever took her interest.
Cadance envied Twilight’s easy going genius. Her own memory wasn’t nearly so good, nor so quick. Plus, the mare was quite possibly the greatest magic caster to ever walk Equestria shy of Celestia herself. Cadance smirked as she touched down just outside the cabin, her heart racing and breath short. She was older than Twilight by more than a decade and the pony was still schooling her in the ways of spellcraft. She frequently found herself using more than a few spells Twilight had taught her years ago. The disguise spell - which she now dispelled - and a simple navigation spell that lead her unerringly back to the Crystal Castle were just a couple.
The cabin door opened without resistance to reveal an empty single room. A small faux fur covered cot sat in one corner while a few wide, polished tree stumps provided all the other furniture. It was far from the comforts of home, but for the moment it suited her needs perfectly. The images of Twilight forced their way through her imagination as Cadance settled onto the cot to rest her aching flight muscles. She could see her looking out the window, see her sitting at the table, see her by the fireplace, see her in the little kitchen nook. The look of wonder that never seemed to leave Twilight’s face was so familiar to her from their time as foal and foalsitter.
Cadance smiled lazily, content on letting her imagination and mind wander while her body recovered from the exertion of her flight. There was no pony for leagues in any direction. If the intrusive thoughts kept up, she was at least safe out here. The first yawn that hit her a moment later felt good as it filled her lungs with air. The second one felt even better.
Cadance shook her head. It was early yet, but she was expected back at a certain time. A nap now might feel good, but she really couldn’t afford it. She yawned again but this time that pleasant feeling had a piggyback rider. She felt the tingle shoot down her spine like lightning. Her imaginary images of Twilight twisted and suddenly, clear as day, the mare was there besides Cadance on the cot.
It’s just the two of us. What would it hurt to linger? I have hours until I need to be back and my wings ache so much and Twilight just looks so cute.
Cadance frowned and shook her head harder. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t right of her to think of Twilight that way. What would Shining think if he knew she’d started to fantasize about his little sister? She should take the new medicine now and get back in the air.
Her wings and back ached. They wanted her to rest more. Her nethers were burning already. They wanted attention. Her mind circled around and around, Twilight’s form above her, under her, all around her with welcoming eyes. The kind of look Shining gave her when he told her everything was going to be alright.
The medicine would make it go away. She had one dose.
But what if she took it now and had another relapse when she got home? There would be no medication and who knew how many ponies she might hurt if Shining wasn’t there? At least here, in the middle of nowhere, she could only hurt herself. Cadance had made due in the time before her medicine regiment started. She had a fix. Her wings might be weak but her wrists were strong.
But was she strong enough to stop herself?
Cadance shuddered as she reached for her saddlebags with a hoof. She had to be quick about it. The straps on her bags that held them to her barrel came undone and Cadance tossed them to the side. The crown and her vestments joined them in a rough pile a moment later. She rolled onto her back with a groan and let the cot and its furs support her completely. Her hoof glided over her belly as she spread her legs.
Cadance’s eyes fluttered closed as first contact was made. Behind her eyelids it was Twilight’s hoof that massaged and caressed her. “Don’t...don’t be slow, please Twi…”
Eventually, her curiosity got the better of her. It always did.
Twilight tracked down a dictionary. It took some searching but she finally had what she was looking for. She had made a choice. She knew it was a bad choice, even if it was legal. She wasn’t a criminal, but now she knew she was a tortfeasor. She rolled the word over in her mind for a moment, happy that she had expanded her vocabulary.
Twilight then turned back to the open envelopes in front of her and lifted the first page titled Canterlot v Mi Amore Cadenza.
How could a pony rack up a record this deep and keep it quiet? How would it be possible? Even the Princesses had their own unofficial watchdog groups. Ponies in place to warn them when they went too far or overstepped their reach. Twilight herself was technically a member of those inner-circle ‘no-ponies.’
She didn’t miss the irony of being in a situation where she would benefit from her own set of neigh sayers.
Twilight looked over the teetering stack of sealed envelopes at the reference sheet she had pulled from Cadance’s file. That first case she had opened was actually the last in a long line of cases that all seemed to stem from the same incident. The Canterlot v Mi Amore Cadenza case was the final indictment, but it lacked specific details of the actual event other than the sentence handed down by the presiding judge.
Mandatory serotonergic medication supplements and frequent psychoanalysis by a trained professional.
“Serotonergic? That’s mood stabilizing medication.” Twilight tapped her chin as her mind worked. “Mood altering drugs and psychotherapy. What in the name of Faust was Cadance up to?”
That might explain a few of the oddities Twilight could recall from her foalhood where Cadance was concerned. Those weird looks in her eyes. The times Cadance seemed oddly detached from her surroundings. The little things that could be anything, really, like being a teenager and dealing with the responsibilities of new princessdom. But might also including the results of drug use and therapy.
Twilight dumped the stack of court cases on the wide table she had claimed as her own in the Judicial Authority library. She spread them out before herself and arranged them according to the name of the involved ponies and the severity of the charges as made apparent by the official seal placed on it. As her eyes flicked over the files, one name jumped out at her.
Twilight could feel a hint of bile rise in her throat as she sat back and pulled the envelope marked ‘Sparkle’ toward herself.
“I was caught in a wild rainshower. On my way back.”
Cadance shivered as she dumped frigid spring water over her head again. Her crown and other royal vestments sat on a stump nearby as she sat in a small, shallow stream outside the cabin she had rested in. Her long tail swept out in front of her like a spill of triple-colored paint by the lazy current. The cold water soothed the heat between her legs and cleared the sleepy fog from her mind. Her left hoof was already starting to ache from the unexpected workout and she knew it would be sore in the morning.
“I landed.” Cadance swallowed and rung her mane out with her magic. “Yeah, and then… I stepped in mud. That’s why I had to wash up before coming back.”
Cadance sighed tiredly. She hoped her ponies would believe that flimsy fib, but Shining was going to be on to her the moment he laid eyes on her. He knew the signs. He’d see her messy fur, smell the heat on her hooves no matter how much she washed. Shining would worry and he would hold her. He would hold her and make everything better. Just like he always did.
Telling Shining about the relapse bothered her. She had her pride still. The best way to get past the uncomfortable part would be to face it head on. Cadance looked at her reflection in the stream and made her decision.
She was going to go to his office first thing and tell him everything. She’d kept the hallucinations to herself. Not even Dr. Open Heart knew yet, but it was getting worse. Shining Armor had been her rock since the beginning. He would understand and he would have a plan.
Cadance stood and shook herself off. Her hairdresser was going to have a fit later, but there was no fixing herself any better than she had. She rolled her left wrist gently and tested her weight on it. There was a slight twinge of pain, but nothing that should keep her from walking once she returned home. Cadance levitated her vestments and saddlebags over, and spread her wings as she lined up a path for her take off.
“I hope Shiny isn’t in the middle of anything important.”
Twilight ran her tongue over her dry lips. The case file in her hooves was pretty thick but she wasn’t interested in all its minutia of proceedings and follow ups, evidence collection and spectrum of details that were irrelevant to the heart of the matter. She just needed to know what happened, to read the testimonies of the ponies that were there. What had Cadance done that it had affected so many ponies - her own family included? What did her parents see or hear on that fateful day? Was Shining Armor at home when it happened? Was he witness to his wife’s crimes?
She hesitated as the pin holding the envelope closed folded back to reveal a stack of organized sheets of paper. “You can stop yourself, Twilight. This doesn’t have to go any further.”
Twilight’s hoof twitched as it hovered just off the paper, poised to draw them forth and breach that final barrier of trust. She fought. She tried, but her brain itched. She couldn’t stop now that she was so close. She had to know. The papers slipped out of their manilla cage and closed the bars on her fate.
Twilight’s eyes scanned the documents, page by page of mixed hoofwriting and typeface. Years of practice allowed her to skim the contents, read without really absorbing anything until she found a word, date or phrase she was looking for. It didn’t take very long to pinpoint the testimonials.
The incident had happened twenty three years ago, predating Twilight’s own birth by almost a year. Cadance would have been about ten or eleven at the time. If she was remembering correctly, that would have been about a year after Cadance had ascended to become an alicorn.
Twilight frowned as she read. The testimonies from her parents and brother were oddly...vague. It felt as if they holding something back, even under oath. She could understand it with Shining, he would have been no more than twelve at the time. But her parents? Twilight scratched her head with her wing wrist and flipped the pages back to the beginning, matching up the events her family described.
According to testimony, it happened right after sundown on a Friday. Her parents and brother had been at home, her mother and father inside while Shining must have been playing in the yard. There was an explosion? No. Some sort of magical discharge that originated from the lane that wove through the residential area where her family home sat. None of them saw the actual discharge, just a flash of pale pink arcane energy that washed over everything.
Shining’s statements said he had stopped playing and wandered toward the front gate to see what had caused the display. He - and apparently several of their neighbors - found Cadance sitting in the middle of the road with a dazed look on her face and a lingering glow radiating from her body. She didn’t respond to anypony for a short time and then every one of the neighbors returned to their homes, also with dazed expressions.
Twilight blinked. They all returned home and left Cadance in the street with her brother? She re-read Shining’s testimony again. Yep, that was what it said. He had said they just left, returned to their homes with quote, funny looks on their faces, end-quote.
“Weird. Why would anypony do that?”
Twilight flipped back to her parents’ statements. Her mother’s and father’s recollection of events lined up. They had both been inside at the time. Her mother in the kitchen, cooking. Her father in the den, reading. They both mentioned noticing the magical discharge but didn’t apparently think it warranted immediate attention. They waited about a half hour or so and then came out to look for her brother. They found him and Cadance playing together under the street lamps. Twilight frowned. She remembered her parents always being strict about curfew her entire foalhood. Things must have been different back then.
But that didn’t answer the question at the center of her investigation. What was Cadance’s crime? Magical discharge was fairly normal in unicorns. Learning to control it was something most developed before they even reached middle school. Perhaps, due to Cadance having been born a pegasus, when she became an alicorn that she had no idea what was going on and discharged accidentally?
Twilight scratched her head again. Magical discharge was something she’d mastered before she even started kindergarten. Cadance had even helped her with it on numerous occasions when foal-sitting. All the unicorn foals in the neighborhood had gone through a phase where it happened randomly until they gained control of their horns.
There were several other families on her street that had foals that were the same age as Twilight. She’d gone to school with many of them. A brief second glance over the files on the table turned up more names that she recognized now. A few of those ponies had been her friends when she was younger. It was a funny thing back then since so many of them even shared the same birthday with her. Each year they would throw a giant combo-party for everypony. For a moment, Twilight wondered what those old friends might be up too.
Twilight bite her lip and flipped to the last page in the file. She wasn’t going to get any closer to the truth if she kept getting lost in her thoughts. The last page held more of the details she wanted. It mentioned the sentencing that was brought down in the mass case and spelled out the charge: Mental and Emotional Manipulation on Unwilling Ponies and Endangerment of Foals by Magical Means.
The endangerment charge was probably harmless and only there because Shining had been present when the discharge happened. But the magical manipulation charge? That was serious business. Manipulating a pony’s mind with magic was very illegal, even if the other party was willing. It was, thankfully a very rare talent.
One which it was well known that Cadance possessed.
Twilight sat back and let the paperwork fall to the table top. She stretched her wings idly as she let everything sink in. She felt kind of thirsty. Maybe it would be a good time for a break and grab another coffee and -!
“Oh my Faust!” Twilight rocked forward violently and knocked several of the folders from the table as she scrambled about looking for the testimonial page. Her breathing sped up as she tossed unimportant files and folders aside.
The date. She needed to know the date. It couldn’t, just couldn’t line up that perfectly!
She found it. Twilight’s eyes locked in place, reading the date over and over as her mind put all the dots together. The time of the incident, her parents’ unspecified actions during the thirty minutes before they found Shining and Cadance playing, her childhood neighbors, all families with foals that had the same or almost the same birthday.
It was the only thing that made sense. It could be the only reason Cadance had been charged and found guilty of mental manipulation and why she wasn’t doing a life sentence in prison. It was the only reason the Princess herself would step in and make sure none of this ever came to light.
It was too much.
Twilight could feel her vision narrowing, her eyes still locked on the date. It was too much. The paper shook as her magic field sputtered and guttered out. It was too much.
It was too much for Twilight Sparkle as her eyes rolled back and everything went dark.
Cadance glided steadily into the home stretch of her journey on a brisk breeze gusting up from the south. Air traffic was predictably light, so she flew in low over the rooftops of her city. The crystal ponies below called and waved as she passed, their adoration lifting her spirits as much as the wind lifted her body. She circled her palace once before touching down lightly on the balcony landing area where Shining had thrown her to catch the Crystal Heart just a couple of years ago. She was nearly home-free after her long trip. She just needed to speak with her husband.
Shining Armor’s office was located below her, in the wider common levels of the Crystal Palace. He could oversee both the security of the palace and the municipal planning that had consumed so much of his time lately. Cadance suspected that he liked it there because it let him avoid the throne room and the association with his new formal title as ‘Imperial Consort.’
“Consort indeed!” Cadance rolled her eyes and snorted. She paced in from the balcony slowly, careful of how much weight she put on her hoof. A pair of blocky crystal pony stallion guards stood on the other side, flanking the door. They snapped smart salutes as Cadance passed them, each uttering a greeting to their Empress. After a few more steps, Cadance paused and turned back to face them. “Excuse me gentlemen, but have either of you seen my husband come up from his office yet?”
“No, your Highness. Consort Shining Armor has been in a meeting this past hour.”
Cadance frowned. “Oh. That’s too bad.”
“Shall we alert him to your return?” The guard on the left - she wanted to say Quartz Vein - tilted his head as noticed the state of her coat and mane. “Are...are you alright, your Highness?”
“It rained.” Cadance forced herself to smile gently but it didn’t reach her eyes. She knew she was a terrible liar and turned quickly back toward the doors that lead to the lower levels, speaking as she totted away. “Don’t bother, I’ll fetch him myself.”
She passed more guards and several staff ponies as she made her way downstairs. Cadance waved off their questions and stares, a smile on her lips as she did so. Each time she used her prepared excuse it sounded more and more hollow to her ears. The lower levels, the first three floors of the building, were considerably more populated than the palace proper above. More staff, more guards and a fair amount of the general public and governmental workers filled the various halls and rooms all day and into the later hours of the evening. They each paused and bowed to her as she weaved through the crowds until she reached the large offices of the Crystal Municipalities Corps.
The area the offices were in, as with the rest of the palace, was in impeccable condition and highly organized. Whenever Twilight visited, she never failed to mention the historical nature of every structure in the empire and the significance of mundane details. The simple furniture employed in every crystal pony household technically belonged in a museum as an artifact from a past era. In the two years since the empire’s return however, modern Equestrian conveniences were being quickly incorporated.
Cadance smirked at the electrically lit sign above the doors to the Municipalities offices. Twilight had suggested that they integrate retro styled pieces in first, to slowly bring the crystal ponies up to speed with the rest of the world. Candles and gaslights still provided the majority of the lighting in the kingdom that wasn’t magically generated, but the electrically powered lights were gaining ground.
She was just thinking about how Twilight would approve of the progress they had made when she reached out to open the office and felt the lightning bolt of that all too familiar tingle shoot down her spine. It hit her like an out of control apple cart, and her knees wobbled as the door swung open. Cadance could feel it take over, the chemicals in her system too diluted to stop the heat that made her suddenly damp and sweaty. She thanked her lucky stars that Shining was so close at hoof.
All she had to do was make it to his office.
Inside the Municipalities main office, several desks - each topped to the point of overflowing with paperwork - marched in neat rows from front to back. Office ponies filed, copied and collated maps, files and public notices in bright gas lamp light from the overhead chandeliers. Shining’s personal office was located at the far end of the long room. Cadance swallowed as she looked down the gauntlet of desks and the ponies stationed at each one. They looked up at the sound of the door opening and were slowly coming to a standstill as they noticed her.
The place got very quiet, very fast.
She swallowed and nodded to everypony. She tried to put her smile back in place, but she managed only a half grimace instead. Her mane was even more frazzled than before she had returned and her coat looked like it could use several good brushing. She kept her face forward, eyes locked on the finish line, and her tail clamped down tight as she walked stiffly to the door marked with her husband’s Cutie Mark.
A purple hoof reached up and fumbled along the edge of the Equestrian Judicial Authority Library table. It gripped there for a moment before pulling a jumbled stack of papers to the floor. The pony it belonged to groaned before trying again to pull herself upright.
Twilight grunted as she righted herself and rubbed her forehead with one hoof. Her vision swam and she felt more than a little nauseous. She gently patted herself all over, but nothing felt broken. She hissed in pain when she reached her forehead. “I don’t think I’m bleeding, but that doesn’t rule out a concussion.”
The flame-lights from enchanted candles danced wildly and each turn seemed to drive another painful spike into her temple. Twilight coughed and tried to stand. Her legs wobbled and threatened to give out before she could get them properly under herself.
“A little rest and some aspirin should do you well, methinks.”
“Huh?” Twilight looked up and regretted it instantly as the world teetered drunkenly.
A dark blot on the other side of the desk moved quickly and Twilight slumped gratefully into a pair of strong hooves. “On the other hoof, perhaps you should speak to a physician. We never were good at diagnosing such things. Matters of the mind and subconscious have always been Our prevalence.”
Twilight groaned again and rested her cheek against a soft coat that smelled faintly of mint. “Oh... hey, Luna. Am I dreaming the concussion, or is this real?”
“Dream or waking, what defines what is truly real?” Luna’s serene face came into focus and the princess smiled down at Twilight. “However, to answer your question, you are dreaming. We sensed your distress all the way from the castle and came with haste to investigate.”
Luna gently lowered Twilight into a sitting position and settled next to her. She smiled but her eyes looked apologetic.
“What?”
“We must confess, Twilight, that when We found you, We scanned your memories to learn what caused your faint. We know of Mi Amore Cadenza’s transgression and her part in your own existence.” Luna was silent for a moment as Twilight took a deep breath in through her nose. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Twilight remained silent, her mind working over questions of trust she never thought she’d have to ask herself. Could she trust Cadance? Was her brother truely in love with her or was it all due to Cadance’s magic? Were they really friends, or did Cadance make her like her? How many of her foalhood memories of her sitter were true and not otherwise doctored?
After a long moment, Twilight looked up at Luna again. “Yeah...I want to talk about it.”
Cadance was almost to the office door when it opened up to reveal the unicorn she’d come to see. Shining Armor’s amicable smile faltered slightly when he noticed her. He was by her side in a second and he reached out to brush her mane aside to look her in both eyes.
“Cadance? Is something wrong, sweetheart?” Shining’s voice was low and soft and up close, Cadance could feel it rumble in her chest.
She opened her mouth, but held her tongue. Cadance wasn’t sure what might come crawling out out. Her nethers were on fire and she could feel a trickle of wetness already working it’s way down her leg. The swish of her tail against her flesh was torture. The press of ponies around her was becoming too much. She could feel the heat coming of them, smell their sweat and taste their heartbeats on her tongue.
That desire, that wild thing that was the real Cadance, wanted out. It wanted to wash away all the barriers between herself and every pony in the room so that their could indulge in-
Shining Armor leaned in closer, his voice lowered to a bare whisper. “Cadance, what’s going on? I can smell you, sweetie, it’s that strong. Come with me, into my office now.”
- their innermost fantasies. It wanted love, needed it. Cadance shivered as the touch of his breath hit her like a wave of caresses. It wanted him inside her, now. Her body burned and throbbed in time with her rapid pulse.
“I-I…” Cadance grit her teeth to keep from screaming, her volume as low as she could make it. “I need...the old fix. Dr. Open Heart has...will have...my new blend ready tomorrow...I can’t wait!”
Shining nodded and his horn flashed as he opened the door to his office and gently pushed Cadance inside before closing it again. He turned to the nearest desk and took a quill and a small scrap of paper which he immediately started to write on it.
He looked at the startled crystal mare that was piloting the desk and he passed her the note. “Take the next train to Vanhoover, go to the address on this note. An old red pony will give you a small package. Bring it-”
There was a loud crash from inside his office.
“Bring it back here ASAP, understood?”
The mare nodded as she looked askew at the closed door. “Um...ok. What’s going on with the Princess? What are you going to do, sir?”
Shining Armor took a deep breath and ran his hoof back through his mane. “I’m going to do my husbandly duties.”
Luna floated one of the envelops from the table down to the floor between where she and Twilight sat. She looked over the cover and frowned. “Our sister shall not be happy with you.”
“No,” Twilight stared at the floor, “I don’t believe she will be.”
Luna nodded. “What are you thinking about, Twilight? Surely Our sister’s impending wrath is not the thing you focus so upon?”
Twilight slowly lowered her chin to rest it on her hooves. “How do I trust her now? I’ve always known Cadance could do stuff like that, but how do I know she isn’t using her powers to make me like her? How do I know if she didn’t enslave my brother when she had that magic overload? He always told me that he fell in love with her at first sight!”
Luna shrugged. “Do you think she has ever done so? Make you like her?”
Twilight frowned. Her head hurt enough that she didn’t need to think this hard on top of everything else. Cadance was a good pony. Right? She shook her head and felt her stomach lurch in time with the world’s wobble.
“Ugh...no. At least, I don’t think so. I’m just so unsure of things, Luna.”
Luna dropped the envelope and let it join the pile of others spread out sloppily before them. “We know she is not a bad pony. Far from it, in fact. We now know that by having a helping hoof in your conception, she indirectly aided Us in being rid of the Nightmare.”
Luna paused for a long time. “Thank you for that again.”
“No problem.” Twilight continued to stare forward. It helped keep the world from spinning if she didn’t move her head. “That’s not what I meant.”
“No, We don’t suppose it was. However, We can inform you that We know not much more than you. You have always been the closest with Mi Amore Cadenza. We were on an extended sabbatical when these events transpired. If you would like, We could ask Celestia for you?”
“No, don’t. I need to talk to Cadance about this myself.”
“Aye.”
It was dark in Shining’s office. He favored dark stained wood and deep green upholstery that contrasted his coat. The air was cool, but Cadance felt like her entire body was on fire. His desk was hard against her thighs where they bumped repeatedly into the edge.
That’s going to bruise. She didn’t care. She was going to be sore in the morning from her long flight, her delay at the cabin and now this. Cadance tried, but she just didn’t care.
A cup of quills rattled off the desk to spill on the floor. She tried to focus, tried to bring up her old defenses, let the rhythm sink into her as much as her husband was. The rhythm would stabilize her breathing, allow her to re-center herself, stop the intrusive and repetitive thoughts. Those quills are the same brand Twilight likes. I gave Shining a set of them when he took an interest in city planning.
She fought to erect those barriers. To keep her desires at bay and locked away. It hurt. It was a pain without a name or a place other than her soul to keep back her nature, her lusts. She knew she must, that it wanted without thought of love or respect. It just wanted and even with Shining feeding it, it growled for more. She thought about Twilight again, her mind desperate for something to latch onto before everything faded into a blissful pink haze.
Cadance could picture Twilight, standing there in the office. Her purple coat glowing in the darkness. Twilight would move up to the desk, opposite of them, her lips parted and eyes almost closed. She could see it in her mind. Twilight was watching them, watching her specifically.
A part of Cadance’s mind told her that that was weird, Shining was in the room and on top of her. It was more than weird, it was wrong, but she didn’t care. In her imagination, Twilight reached out to touch her hoof and she could almost feel it as well as she was feeling Shining slow down and tense up. Later - she swore - she would tell him about the hallucinations.
That old familiar feeling ripped through her. It was violent in its intensity, painful as much as pleasurable.
Luna frowned as she held Twilight’s mane back while the younger alicorn heaved half digested coffee onto the linoleum floor of the Judicial Authority library. “We hate to interrupt, but twould seem that We are not the only one who has noticed your faint. Our sister has just dispatched the guard to collect your unconscious form.”
“Uhg…why do I have to vomit in my dreams? Isn’t there a rule against that?”
“Tis not Our fault your mind is such a stickler for correct details.” Luna chuckled. “We shall let them know you are ill and to be gentle. However, it would seem you are destined to speak with Celestia sooner rather than later.”
Twilight groaned and wiped a hoof across her muzzle. “This is going to be pleasant. Does she know yet? About...this?”
Luna shrugged gracefully. “If not yet, she will know soon. We do not think you will escape her wrath this time, Twilight. We will, however, speak with her on your behalf.”
Twilight swallowed and grimaced. “You don’t have to do that, Luna. I...chose this. My curiosity gets me into more trouble than I like to think at times.”
“Still, you’ve done no harm yet.” Luna smiled and stroked Twilight’s mane softly. “That counts for something, We say.”
Twilight nodded slowly. “Will you stay with me until we get there?”
“Aye.”
Shining Armor sighed as the hot water beat down on his aching neck and shoulders. He must be getting older, he could feel it in his knees and hips. Taking care of Cadance always took it out of him, but the ache from holding himself up was new.
“No more skipping gym night, Captain.” Shining grunted and flicked his mane out of his eyes. “Time for a haircut too.”
He reached up and turned the water off, letting himself drip in the steam-filled royal bath. Without the rush of the shower he could just barely hear Cadance breathing from their bed. She’d passed out in his office an hour ago after finally suppressing her urges. It brought back a lot of old memories from Canterlot. It was surprisingly nostalgic, having to maintain an anti-magic shield while seeing to Cadance’s needs and then carrying her through the castle in an opaque sphere back to their private chambers.
Shining Armor stepped out from the shower stall and walked slowly over to the huge marbled counter and sink. He wiped a hoof across the mirror to clear the fog and smirked at his own reflection. “Yeah, time for a haircut, Shining.”
“Goddess, when did I become my father?” Shining leaned forward and examined the bags under his eyes and the deepening groove in his horn. “I doubt dad ever had to juggle my sort of duties.”
He checked his teeth for a moment and then reached down under the counter and pulled out a small jar of cooling salve. It had been a long time since he’d last used it but when he unscrewed the cap, that familiar smell wafted up and the cream looked just as it always did. Shining ran the edge of one hoof through the salve and reared up on his hind legs. With the mirror he could see the area with the worst chafing.
“Well...I certainly hope dad never had to deal with this.”
In her immense bed, Cadance rolled over and moaned softly. She reached out unconsciously and grabbed a pillow which she crushed to her chest. As she slept, the room grew warmer, the air took on the heady scent of a mare and pheromones as her horn flashed erratically. A pinkish colored miasma coalesced around the bed and began to swirl like its own miniature tornado with little tendrils reaching out exploratively.
Cadance dreamt of kisses and caresses and whispered little nothings in-between. She lay together with Twilight on a huge bed covered with silken sheets and surrounded by row after row of tealight candles. Music seemed to fill the background as she gently rolled onto her back.
Twilight was slowly driving her wild with small butterfly kisses that drifted up her barrel. The smaller alicorn lifted up over Cadance, the look on Twilight’s face said more than words about the sheer lust that flooded the two of them. Cadance gasped as Twilight’s horn suddenly set itself ablaze, casting them in a bright purple hue, and she felt something as supple and warm as a tongue but much larger begin to explore the whole of her.
She moaned louder as the flashing of her horn grew faster. The glittery haze created by her magic was as thick as morning fog and spread to fill the entire bedroom. Cadance’s body moved on sluggish autopilot as she rolled again and lifted her hips. Her hooves pawed futilely at the pillow in her grip for a moment before they found their way back to her slick wetness and the nub that was the center of her world.
“I wonder what she’s dreaming about?”
Shining shook his head and levitated a few towels down to where he was sitting on the royal bathroom floor. He was glad he’d had the forethought to put up a barrier around the bedroom before getting in the shower. He channeled a little more arcane juice into the shield and shifted to get his makeshift towel pillows underneath his knees.
Shining frowned as he watched his wife pant and writhe on their bed. Cadance was still unconscious but her hooves were on autopilot as she dreamed. He could feel the shield vibrate as her powers collided with it and bounced off only to slam into it again like a caged beast. If he entered and tried to comfort her, Shining feared it would overtake him instantly. Then he’d have a lot more than uncomfortable chafing to deal with.
Cadance groaned from the bed as she arched her back. “Twi...light…”
Shining blinked and tweaked the shield spell to block out sound. “I didn’t hear that.”
Twilight groaned and opened her real eyes. She could feel the light touch of magic running over her scalp, through her hair. It managed to find that perfect point of warmth and pressure that was at once both comfortable and painful, soothing even as it sent little jolts of pain along her horn. A golden glow passed briefly over her eyes as she focused on a ceiling that she knew well from her days as a full-time student.
“On a scale of one to ten, how angry are you?”
The princess she’d really rather not be talking to stepped into view as the feeling of the magic touch left her. “I would say about...a four. I was initially feeling more towards a eight but after Luna intervened on your behalf and seeing your injury, I have managed to simmer down somewhat.”
Celestia looked at Twilight with wet eyes. “I have looked over the trauma you’ve inflicted on yourself and I recommend you refrain from using too much magic. Thankfully, it is only a minor concussion. Rest for a few days and you’ll be back to normal.”
“Ugh...minor? It feels like there is a minotaur in a china shop and the china shop is my head.”
“If you can make metaphors, Twilight, you are not so bad off, considering. I mean it though. Take it easy and let the thaumatic pathways of your horn heal. Too much too soon and you might cripple yourself.” Celestia sighed and closed her eyes. “Goddess, Twilight, why?”
Twilight kept her gaze on the ceiling and did her best to ignore her princess. That seemed like the best way to fight the nausea that was churning her stomach. “Because. I-I just couldn’t accept it. I had to know what was in those cases. I had to know...had to know what sort of pony could accuse Cadance of a crime and make it stick. A part of me just couldn’t believe that she was guilty of anything more than being sweet and wonderful and loving.”
Twilight fell silent for a moment. “And I was curious...to be honest. I let it get out of control. Again.”
“You committed an act of betrayal by opening those case files. Betrayal of trust. MY trust, Twilight.” Celestia’s voice sounded flat. “I instructed you to leave it alone and talk to Cadance about this and yet you could not wait. To say I am disappointed in you would be an understatement.”
“I’m sorry.” Twilight closed her eyes against the lights to drift in cool darkness. “Can...can you ever forgive me? I know I make mistakes and sometimes I get carried away. I’m just...really really sorry.”
Celestia didn’t answer. Twilight fidgeted on the large cushion that held her as the silence stretched on.
Eventually Celestia sighed. “In time, yes, I will forgive you. But you have forced my hoof, Twilight. While the only victims of your actions so far are my feelings and Cadance’s privacy, I am still reserving my right to place judgement upon you.”
Twilight tensed. She’d feared an outcome like this. Why did she have to be so curious at times? Why did she just have to know everything? How could she be so smart and so stupid at the same time?
“I am sending you to the infirmary. The doctors are going to give you something to help with the concussion. While they do so, I am going to write an official letter of apology to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and alert her to this information leak and the circumstances around it.”
Twilight turned her head to look at Celestia. “Wait...that’s it? Sorry Princess, but I was expecting...a bit more.”
Celestia looked down her muzzle at Twilight and her horn started to glow faintly. “You will deliver it, personally to Princess Cadance. Furthermore, Twilight Sparkle, you are not to return to Equestria until you have made amends with her.” Twilight felt the princess’ magic flow into her and the geas wrapped itself around her spine and the animal part of her hind-brain. Once she crossed the border, she would not be able to come home until the conditions were met. Unlike mental manipulation, the geas would make her weak and feel ill if she tried to come home before making amends with Cadance.
Celestia stood and let the glow fade away before turning toward the door. “I hope you put all of your study of friendship to use, Twilight. I do not wish to lose another pupil to the idea that she is above my advice.”
Twilight flinched when she heard the door close softly. She lay there in silence and stared at the wall, her mind devouring itself. Why did she do the things she did? Was something wrong with her? Why couldn’t she leave well enough alone? Why would she do something so colossally stupid? Was something wrong with her? How could she betray the trust and privacy of the two most important ponies in her life?
Birds chirped happily outside the window to the royal suite, in the warm morning sunlight, waking Cadance from her slumber. Normally, Shining Armor roused her with his early morning guardstallion routine, or one of her fillies-in-waiting would come by before the sun was fully up. She blinked, trying to make sense of the situation, but her mind pulled up blank. Cadance stretched languidly, racking her mind for when she’d even gotten in bed, but her memory refused to cooperate. Idly, she noted that she felt surprisingly well rested and refreshed, however odd the morning might start off. She rolled over to see if Shining was also awake, her eyes widening in surprise when she saw his half of the bed empty.
Princess Cadance slowly untangled herself from the bedsheets, looking around for her missing companion. She still couldn’t recall when she had gone to bed precisely, but she did vaguely remember being with her husband just before she must have passed out. The last thing she could clearly remember from the previous evening was meeting Shining in the Crystal Municipalities Office. They had gone into his personal office and then...her memory went sort of blank.
Impressions of heat, pressure, something hard pressing into her knees, and a flash of purple was all her mind could cobble together of the rest of the evening. Cadance knew she’d fought off the desire during the long flight home, but she only had the one dose of medication. It didn’t take much to put two and two together of what happened after she got back, if the gentle soreness she could feel across her hips was any indicator. However, if she wanted a full recollection of the night, she would need to speak to Shining.
Cadance climbed out of the bed and was just about to call out his name when she noticed him. Shining, still fast asleep, on a pile of towels just inside their bathroom.
“Shining?” Cadance spoke softly, moving over to the stallion, and kneeled down to look him over. “Darling? What are you doing out here on the floor?”
Shining stirred and yawned deeply, a bit of drool trailing from the corner of his mouth. He looked up at Cadance with unfocused eyes. “‘M-morin’...love. Sleep ok?”
Cadance smiled lopsidedly, her brows pinching. “I slept fine. What are you doing on the floor in the bathroom? You look terrible.”
“I’m...fine.” Shining shook himself, blinking rapidly to clear his eyes. “Don’t you remember last night?”
She looked at him blankly, her smile melting away. “I remember visiting Dr. Open Heart in the morning, then the flight home with the stop over at the cabin, then…” Cadance paled, shuddering slightly, “it all becomes frightfully blurry after I visited your office. When did I go to bed?”
Cadance tilted her head, watching Shining’s face as he continued to wake up. Suddenly, something in her memory ticked over and she recalled burying her head between Twilight’s…No! That was a dream! Cadance felt her heart speed up, her memory of the previous night starting to clear.
She took a step back to give her husband room to stand. Shining struggled for a moment to get his stiff limbs to obey. Cadance winced when he groaned in pain. “It was a relapse...wasn’t it? I didn’t hurt anypony, did I?”
“Only this pony.” Shining Armor grinned tiredly and turned with obvious discomfort to the sink, his horn lighting up to start the water running. “I’m a little chafed, to be honest, but I’ve survived worse.” He splashed cold water on his face, rubbing at his eyes with a hoof. “Don’t worry sweetheart, I threw up a shield to be on the safe side while I took a shower. When I got out, you were still sleeping, but the bedroom was full of your magic. I thought it best to just sleep outside until it calmed down.”
Cadance sagged, her ears flattening against her skull. “Shinny...we...I can’t keep this up. It’s getting worse. I-I had two yesterday! I think.” She leaned against the door frame, closing her eyes tightly. She shuddered again and wrapped her wings around her barrel in a tight hug. “I had two relapses, Shinny. One here and another between here and Vanhoover.”
“You did?” Shining’s voice was quiet and she heard him turn off the sink faucet. “You didn’t tell me about that.”
Cadance nodded, closing her wings tighter against her body. Her muscles started to remember the rough day, the long flights to and from Vanhoover, her solo session in the cabin, and then the time in Shining’s office. The refreshed state she’d woken in vanished like a candle being snuffed out, only to be replaced with soreness and aches. “I didn’t want to...I didn’t want you to worry. I want to say it’s been getting worse. Stronger. The medication isn’t helping as much as before, I think. But...I’m honestly not sure.”
“You said that Dr. Open Heart was making you a new batch of your medication?” Shining stepped over to Cadance and put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Her head dipped instinctively, nestled into the crook of his neck and shoulder. “I sent one of my aids to fetch it. If the trains are on schedule, they should be back before breakfast.”
Cadance choked a sob into Shining’s shoulder. She could feel the tears forming, but she’d be damned if she was going to cry. “I need it, Shining, I have to have it. I have to put this monster back in it’s cage.”
“You’re not a monster, Cadance.”
Am I so sure of that myself, though? Cadance bit back another sob and grit her teeth hard enough to make her jaw pop. Images, memories of her hallucinatory visions and dreams about Twilight filled her head. Even with Shining holding her, his scent filling her muzzle, she could still feel the that thing inside her stir. Am I a monster? Is this thing in me, actually separate? Or is it just me? Do I truly want to do those things with Twilight of all ponies?
“Cadance?” Shining Armor leaned back to look down at his wife. “Are you alright?”
She sucked in a deep breath and held it for a long count to ten. She let it hiss out between her teeth and then looked up at Shining, her violet eyes tinged red with her barely contained tears. “Shining...I have something hard to tell you.”
“What is it?” Shining stiffened, his body bracing for the worst. “You know you can tell me anything, sweetheart.”
“I...I’ve been having hallucinations.” Her heart hammered in her ears, her cheeks flushing with some of her lost color. Cadance opened her mouth to tell Shining about her visions. About the purple coat and soft feathers that dominated her. “I...I don’t…”
“It’s alright, sweetie.” Shining gently cupped Cadance’s muzzle in his hoof, tuning it up to look into her eyes. “Take your time. Breathe.”
Her blush burned. The heat fuzzed her mind and the more she looked into Shining’s eyes, the more her confession crawled back down her throat. She couldn’t tell him that she was thinking about his sister while they were together. That would be crueler than any pain her condition had ever fostered on her. Cadance knew, then and there, she wasn’t going to let her sickness ruin the life of the pony that loved her most any more than it already had.
She took in another deep breath, letting it out in a huff before she licked her lips. “Ra-random ponies! I’ve been...imagining random poines during the relapses.” Cadance hung her head, looking away from her husband and her voice grew quieter. “I didn’t want to say anything because...because I didn’t want you to think I was being unfaithful.”
Shining Armor lifted his head, looking down at his wife. At the way she held her ears, the angle of her eyes. She was holding something back. Cadance had never been terribly good at lying outright, but obscuring and re-directing the perception of things was a skill Princess Celestia had hammered into her pretty well. Cadance said it made her a better politician.
He doubted that.
Still, regardless of whatever Cadance wasn’t telling him, hallucinations were new. He knew about the dreams, the cravings. He could tell when it was getting to her just by how she walked. A new wrinkle in her condition, now after so many years, was worrisome. New—in this case—was bad.
Shining smiled, pushing away those negative feelings. He supported Cadance no matter what, and part of being a good partner and husband was finding a way to keep his wife from tearing herself apart. “So...this ‘random pony’...she cute?”
“Wha…?” Cadance blinked up at Shining. Of course she’s cute, she’s your sister. She saw his little smirk, the one he wore whenever he was trying to find the comedy in a tragedy. He was trying to be funny by implying she was thinking of other mares. Which didn’t help that, technically, she was.
It didn’t stop her blush either, as she imagined Shining imagining her imagining being with another mare. It had been a topic of discussion in their younger days, a fantasy never fulfilled, and now her husband was offering it up to her as a way out of the implication of thinking about other stallions.
Which left her in the uncomfortable position of again only admitting a half truth. But at least she didn’t have to deal with the other half coming out just yet. Plus, a part of her rationalized, she’d still be honest. Twilight was cute. She cute? The question rang in her skull again. She cute? Cadance hung her head while her blush started to creep up to the base of her horn.
“Yeah...she cute.”
By the time the royal physicians in the castle infirmary completed their tests and had given a similar assessment to Celestia’s—minor concussion and damage to the arcane pathways in her horn—Twilight felt calm. They prescribed rest and refraining from magic use as much as possible for at least a week.
She was already resting. When she’d passed out in the legal records archive, she had felt like a boat being tossed at the rocky shore by an uncaring storm of emotion. Now she was the rocks themselves. Solid. Stoic. Hard. Doctors came and went, their words about her health and recommended regimens breaking over her like the wind and surf with not even erosion to show for it.
She was listening. Twilight did care. She was just...calm. She nodded at the appropriate times, grimacing when the room wobbled more than it should, but she offered back no input of her own.
Twilight returned to Princess Celestia’s chambers with a small bottle of pain-killing pills and stood there in uneasy silence as she was given the letter that the geas would compel her to hoof-deliver to Cadance in the Crystal Empire. A second letter was prepared and sent to Spike in Ponyville to let him know where Twilight was and to tell her friends to take care of things until her return.
While Princess Celestia made clear the conditions of the geas, Twilight continued to nod along, her mind passively absorbing the instructions. She would not be able to cross the recognized borders of Equestria until she and Cadance had made amends and become friends again, or a situation arose that required the Elements of Harmony to be used. Without any great catastrophe looming on the horizon she was aware, it looked like she would be visiting the north for some time.
Once Celestia concluded, the door to the Princess’ chambers opened and Princess Luna entered. “Sister, We have arranged for Twilight Sparkle’s transportation to the Crystal Empire.” She nodded to Twilight. “If you are ready, We shall escort you to the Canterlot train station where our personal carriage awaits.”
“Your personal carriage?” Twilight blinked, almost surprised to hear her own voice. She’d gone but a few hours uttering nothing more than a discomforted grunt, and already the words made her tongue feel odd. It’s all in my mind. There is nothing wrong with me...I should probably act like it.
“Yes, this banishment is temporary. You are the very Princess of Friendship, Twilight. We expect this entire issue to be resolved in a matter of days.” Luna shot Celestia a pointed look. “There is no reason not to see you off in comfort. You will be welcomed back into the fold with a smile and open arms. We will see to it.”
Twilight licked her lips. They felt dry and cool. She nodded to Luna and stood up carefully. The sickening tossing and turning of her vision was fading, but it was easy to set off still. “You don’t have to keep helping me like this, Princess Luna. I’ve made my bed.”
“And you shall sleep in it.”
Twilight glanced at Celestia. The Princess of the Sun had maintained her own silence after giving deadpan instructions devoid of feeling or even inflection. Most of which had been delivered while the Princess gazed out of a window overlooking her gardens. Twilight wondered if the larger pony had been looking at her reflection in the glass, watching her for every tick and twitch.
This last phrase though, was quietly full of emotions that were swirling just below the surface. The Princess sounded tired and sad. She sounded angry. She sounds like I do when I’m dictating to Spike when I’m starting to think about going back to the drawing board because an experiment failed.
Twilight swallowed and turned on her hooves with as much grace as she could muster. “I’m ready.”
Princess Luna returned Twilight’s nod and stepped aside to let the filly take the lead. She closed the door to Celestia’s chambers behind them, her longer strides catching up to Twilight a second later. She eyed Twilight out of the corner of her eye, voice low as they passed a pair of royal guards. “We are sorry this has happened, Twilight. If We had things as We wanted it, you would not have been dismissed so. However, Celestia—though her love for you is strong—cannot deal with a pony that defies her so. We should know that aspect of her mind very well indeed.”
Twilight put one hoof in front of the other, already tired from her few spoken words. Is that a side effect of concussions? Did I hit my head right over the parts that deal with speech? She frowned at the floor tiles. Is that something that gets better? Do I want it to?
“Twilight?” Luna raised an eyebrow, turning her head microscopically towards the shorter Princess. “Are you alright...besides the blow to your head, We mean? Your quiet sets Us ill at ease…”
Nothing is wrong. Twilight shrugged, keeping up the steady sway of hoof after hoof after hoof after hoof. Nothing is wrong.
