Shining Armor led the group of guys to the barracks and motioned them to come inside.
"Are we allowed to be in here?" Church asked. "What if we get caught?"
"What are they going to do?" Shining Armor chuckled. "Been awhile since I've had some actual fun. I'd like to let loose with a few guys who aren't with me because I'm their captain."
"I like this guy already." Tucker said.
"Alright I guess." Church shrugged.
"Let's hurry this shit up." Tucker said. "Caboose you stay by the door and keep guard, and for the love of god do not help anybody."
"Okay." Caboose said happily.
Shining Armor led the others down the barracks steps and in front of a locked door. He stuck his horn in the lock and it started to glow. The lock then snapped open and the door swung open to reveal nearly a dozen wooden kegs. Tucker grinned wildly and went up to one of them and pressed on the tap. A steady stream of liquid poured out and Tucker took a sip.
"Not the strongest but it should be good enough." Tucker said.
"I'm not too sure about this." Simmons said quietly.
"Hey, if they're getting drunk then I am too." Grif said.
"How are we going to bring this back?" Tucker asked.
"We carry it." Shining Armor grinned. "Or more specifically you carry it."
"Alright, pile one on." Tucker said, prepping his back to carry the keg.
"Wow, you're actually doing work." Church muttered.
"I was starting to think this place was boring, now that I have something to make it awesome I'm going to take advantage of it."
"You ready?" Shining Armor asked.
Tucker nodded and Shining Armor pushed a keg on to Tuckers back.
"How exactly are we going to sneak this back?" Church asked. "It would look pretty damn suspicious if they see him walking around with a keg on his back."
Shining Armor looked at one of the tables that had a giant cloth over it. He motioned towards it and raised his brow.
"Yeah because that would be so much less conspicuous."
"What would you suggest then?" Tucker muttered.
"I would recommend putting it down and walking away, but you're an idiot so I know you wouldn't go for that."
"Just throw the damn thing over my back."
Shining Armor walked up to the table and took the cloth off to place it over the keg. Once it was on it Shining Armor and Tucker shared a quick nod.
"Let's hurry back and try not to get seen." Shining Armor said.
Tucker nodded and slowly walked out of the room, trying to keep the keg from moving.
"What do you have there? Is it a present?" Caboose asked.
"Yeah Caboose, it's one hell of a present." Tucker said.
"Yay I love presents!" Caboose yelled.
"Shut the fuck up." Tucker said quietly.
"Caboose it's not for you." Church said.
"Hey I think giving him some would be funny to see." Tucker said.
Church just shook his head, not wanting to get Caboose even more brain dead than he already is.
"The coast is clear." Grif said, coming back from outside.
"Alright let's hurry up." Tucker muttered. "This thing is fucking heavy."
The group walked out of the barracks and started to make their way back to Shining Armor's home.
"How much further is it?" Tucker said in a strained voice after ten minutes of slowly walking.
"Not much farther." Shining armor promised. "Probably about three more min-"
"Shining Armor what is it that you are doing?" A thundering voice called out.
A dark alicorn landed next to Shining Armor and looked over all the other guys.
"We're just checking on some things Princess Luna, don't worry." Shining Armor said quietly.
"Who are these others? I have never seen them before." Luna said boldly.
"They're uh..." Shining Armor trailed off.
"We're new recruits." Tucker said. "We were just bringing this water to the reception area so it can be given to the guests after the wedding."
Luna looked Tucker square in the face, looking for signs of deceit. Shining Armor hit Tucker in the side relatively hard.
"Soldier that was out of line and you will speak to the princesses when addressed." Shining Armor exclaimed.
"Oh f... course" Tucker grunted.
"Glad to see your affairs in order." Luna nodded. "I must go back to my post to ensure Canterlot is secured for the rest of the night."
"Yes Princess." Shining Armor said with a bow. The others followed his lead and Luna flew back off to the tower.
"What the fuck was that about?" Tucker hissed, rubbing his side, barely noticing his mistake in time to keep the keg on his back.
"Sorry, we had to make it seem authentic." Shining Armor said.
"Could have fucking told me." Tucker muttered.
Once they arrived back at Shining Armor’s house, Tucker slowly walked up the stairs and let the keg roll off of his back.
"Hang on, I'll go get something to hold the drinks in." Shining Armor said, quickly leaving the room to go to the kitchen.
"This is just a bad idea." Church muttered.
"You would think that." Tucker said. "Why don't you just let loose for once in your damn life?"
"This might fuck up his wedding though."
"When has alcohol ever hurt anyone?"
"I feel stupider just from hearing that."
Shining Armor came back in the room with a bunch of mugs and laid them out on a table. Tucker grabbed a mug and threw it under the keg and filled it up.
"Well?" Tucker asked. "Let's get started."
"I'm not having any." Church said.
"Have one drink." Tucker insisted.
"If I have one will you shut up about it?"
Instead of a reply Tucker filled a mug up and gave it to Church. Soon all the guys had a mug. Even Caboose had one but he just stared at it curiously.
"What is it?" Caboose asked.
"It's apple juice." Tucker said.
"Oh boy I love apple juice!" Caboose exclaimed. He chugged the entire mug and his face went green. "This tastes like rotten apple juice..."
"Want another?" Shining Armor asked.
"No it tastes like unhappiness."
Church let out a relieved sigh and took a sip of the drink.
"What do you think of it?" Tucker asked.
"Not bad." Church said quietly.
"It came straight from the Canterlot brewery." Shining Armor said as he took a sip from his mug. "It is reserved for special occasions which I felt was apt for the situation. Think you'll be wanting another?"
"Maybe later."
"Don't be a pansy." Sarge taunted as he filled another mug. "Are all the blues weak drinkers?"
"I can drink the hell out of you red." Tucker said, mimicking Sarge's voice with the last word.
"Is that a bet?" Sarge asked with a raised brow.
Sarge and Tucker were half way through a drinking contest when the door swung open and all the guys turned around.
"What are you doing?" Cadance yelled, taking the mug out of his hoof with her magic. She sniffed it and scowled. "Why are you doing this on our wedding night?"
"Come on Cadance I haven't had any time to just sit down what with the spell and all." Shining Armor said.
"You care about getting intoxicated with others more than you care about being ready for the wedding?" Cadance asked.
"Hey Princess whatever-your-name-is." Tucker muttered. "Listen we were just-"
"Who are you and why are you talking to me?" Cadance asked.
"Someone who doesn't have a pole up their a-"
"I'm sorry about him princess, he doesn't know when to shut the hell up." Church said, swiftly acting in an attempt to save the quickly degrading situation. "I tried to talk him out of it but... do you have idiots here? Because he is one of them."
"At least one of them seems to have a head on their shoulders." Cadance said. "What is your name."
"Church." Church said, extending his hoof to Cadance.
"Well Church, would you mind keeping an eye on my soon-to-be husband while I give the others a talking to?" Cadance said, not meeting Church's hoof.
"As long as someone is doing it." Church muttered.
"You two go downstairs." Cadance ordered.
"Yes dear." Shining Armor said, leaving the room with Church.
Bitches be buzzkilling man
(I might make an alternate take on this chapter after I'm done where Cadance does not interrupt and they get totally hammered)
Also last chapter of the night.
481028 You got a Triple Chapter Kill!
"No it tastes like unhappiness."
Best line of the chapter!
i could picture caboose either being smarter the more drunk he gets or bust into a mean drunk
481063 But Caboose eats unhappiness so... 481028
481082
I was thinking of making it so if was drunk he became O'malleyboose
481101
Only O'malleyboose eats unhappiness
Why did i know Cadance was going to ruin their fun.
Aw so much buzzkill for this chapter.... Oh well, hope to see some more tomorrow.
481107
that should be how caboose saves the day they get him drunk to fight the changelings
Church is just like me in this situation minus actually taking a sip of beer
481028
Will there be Ansem Retort Brand time travel involved in the alternate take?
TRIPLE CHAPTER IS AWESOME...
WE NEED TO SEE EVERYONE HAMMERED
*WCHA
Shining Armour is Pussy whipped
AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH CHAPTER 69!
im so alone
FIRST.
*Trolololololol olol olol lolololoooooo lololol oloooooooooooool lololooololool*
Oh shit
She's going to try and brainwash them
Or they get trapped in the caves
...that's actually exactly how I imagined Caboose would react to an alcoholic beverage.
So really... this is the wedding as if the guys were present for it, and the major changes seem to be the method of invitation (which I can plausibly buy not wanting to adjust to mirror canon, since its buildup spanned too many chapters) and there actually being a Red and Blue-hosted sorta-bachelor party (which of course Cadance/Chrysalis crashes). I like the way they were integrated, and I'm especially glad that you're mixing original ideas in with canon events.
Just a thought, and if you think answering is too spoilerific, you can choose not to, but do you have Church's cutie mark acquisition planned out, and is it related to the wedding?
Actually, that brought up another thought, one I didn't even think to question since I was too busy enjoying the story: not many ponies brought up that these six lacked cutie marks for a while, and as of now, Church STILL does. Adult blank flanks aren't exactly running around everywhere. Though in general, ponies are an accepting bunch, so I can see them not actually caring that they're a bit different. Still, heads must turn on occasion. The part that brought that up for me was the faux-bride addressing Church, the only one currently without an indicator of a special talent, directly in conversation without seeming to notice. Just an idea, but whatever conversation Church may have with Shining Armor while the alpha bitch tears everyone else a new one could address it. If you are planning to get Church his mark over the course of the wedding (maybe in the war with the changelings? Just speculating), it could serve as an appropriate setup so the event doesn't seem too spontaneous. Plus, it'd be nice to know how he's taking the fact that he's the only one of the crew without one, and Shining Armor is a decent guy to confide in.
...wow, that's a lot of space to dedicate to what I thought was just a nitpick. But hey, constructive criticism is the path to improvement, right? I do really enjoy the fic as it exists so far, and I don't question that whatever you have lined up will still be awesome.
482773
Yes I have Church's cutie mark planned out but will not have anything to do with the wedding.
And the reason nobody else really noticed their blank flank is because they barely see anybody. The only time they anybody ever really would have noticed was at the market, but since Sarge got it when he got there ponies may have thought that they didn't see it and Grif was there for a short amount of time so nobody really noticed him. And the time when Simmons got his cutie mark Flint mentioned how he thought he was a blank flank but found himself mistaken.
Here at the wedding they're all wearing suits anyways so nobody can see that Church is still a blank flank. Plus I don't think Church would really care too much that he is a blank flank.
482841 Well, I did kinda take their lack of public prominence into account when I was typing that up. That can explain away most of them, at least. Sarge at least made a public display out of getting his, Simmons's was acknowledged, and Grif's and Caboose's were obtained in the company of friends. I'm trying to remember if Spitfire and Soarin' ever said anything about Tucker's, though I think they may have. And I'll give you the free pass on the suit point, I suppose, so not-Cadance can be forgiven for not seeing what's been concealed.
Yeah, I can see Church not giving a shit, but... it would also make sense if he was a bit bothered by being the last one left. By being, in his eyes, the sole competent one among idiots (which let's be fair, has some truth to it), without any physical sign that he's proven his worth. Maybe he can even be worried that, as an AI, he may not even be able to get it (though future events, as you say, will clear that doubt). Just another chapter in the tragedy that is Leonard Church's life.
I dunno, maybe I'm just overthinking this. But Church really evolved into the main character of RvB, and as you clearly understand, that deserves some fanfare when the time does come. The best I can do is sit back and see how it's built up and executed.
...and again I step back, see how much thought I've put into a pony story, question my priorities and immediately continue to regret nothing.
482896
Well I already have plans to have Sarge make fun of Church for his lack of cutie mark and Church will have a reaction so don't you worry.
I think church will be thrown into the dungeon/mine along with twilight sparkle for learning fake princess cadance's secret
482896 That is the way to do it. Then again, I'm the one that's volunteered to edit this mess , so take that at what you will
Chapter 69: Wedding - Party Hard.
...Not sure it's the sort of wedding I want to be invited to!
...GET IT? BECAUSE 69 IS A SEXUAL POSITION AND THE TITLE OF THE CHAPTER IS "PARTY HARD" AND...
Yeah, you get it.
It tastes like unhappiness.
Talk about pussy-whipped.
Good GOD
I still can't stand Cadence when she's in a fanfic!
chrysalis dose what ever shit she dose tucker just says
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O_O
"No it tastes like unhappiness."
I fucking died
You know what i dont need past sins I wont partake in any Dr. Whooves!
All i need is my litle caboose blue is magic
Pinkie Pie, Will you do the honos? BEST STORY EVER!!!!!!
482896
actually Grif is pretty smart he jiust doesnt show it much
488609 Bow chicka bow wow
1164642 meh.ro/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/meh.ro9141-455x341.jpg
damn, bachelor party an chapter 69? this had to be planned!
4791785
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"...tastes like unhappiness..."
O_O
Can Church even get drunk? What does unhappiness taste like? Tune in next time to find out!
5402904 Don't let me tuuuurrrn.....
5449133 Dont worry... *Raises death scythe* I wont. *swish swish death*
After cadence walks in
Me: look princess th-
Cadence: who are you and why are you talking to me
Me: (hooves burst into flames ) bitch I know you didn't just fucking cut me off
yes it has it's also killed people