O'Malley walked to the next building, but this time he double checked to make sure he wasn't at the wrong address. When he decided this was the right place, he checked through the window. No pony was in sight. Smirking to himself, O'Malley opened the door and began looking around the shop. There were just as many tables as the furniture store, but the tables were lined with hundreds of books. O'Malley grabbed the one closest to him and began flipping through it.
"First aid for fillies." O'Malley shuddered, a few horrid memories returning to him.
O'Malley tossed the book back on the pile and began thinking what he could do to the store owner if they did not give him their money. Breaking the tables was out of the question. If he was going to do this, he had to be sure he didn't do the same thing twice, lest they come out with unbreakable furniture. He stared at one of the books and smiled crookedly at it. He snapped it up and opened the book until both the front cover and back cover were touching, crinkling the spine of the book. He chuckled morbidly as if he had just committed a major crime, then put it back in it's place. He looked towards the opposite end of the room and saw another door, as well as a desk with a bell on it in front of said door. He trotted over to the bell and gently rung it three times.
"Be out in a moment." A mare said with a singsong voice on the other side of the door.
While he waited to belittle the mare, he looked at his reflection on the bell, making sure he was approachable enough that way they would find out just how unapproachable he is when they approached him. Bag? Straight and orderly, but not perfect. Sunglasses? Firmly in place where it made them look recreational. Smirk? Pleasant with tones of sadism. Perfect. The door opened and a ruby-red mare with a myrtle-green mane and tail walked in, smiling at O'Malley. O'Malley smiled back.
"How may I help you?" She asked after a few seconds of awkward silence.
"Oh, in many ways." O'Malley chuckled, eyeing her over. Her cutie mark was a feather. O'Malley believed this to be a sign of weakness. "Though I don't think you could help me with many of them."
"Okay..." The mare said quietly, wondering why he was here.
"You are the proprietor of this business, correct?" O'Malley said coolly after a few minutes, walking up to one of the tables that was lined with books.
"Yes, that's right." She nodded slowly, eyes resting on his sunglasses.
"And business owners do generally pay taxes, hm?" O'Malley asked, glaring back at her, but she could not see this due to the glasses.
"I guess so." The mare shrugged.
"She guesses so!" O'Malley scoffed, taking the badge out of his bag. "You see this? I am here to collect your taxes! Fear me, for I have near full control of your life until the point you pay back your-"
"Right. I have the bits right here." The store owner laughed as she pulled out a rather large coin purse and brought it to O'Malley.
"Oh." O'Malley grunted, weighing the bag, judging how much was in it. Unbeknownst to the store owner, O'Malley didn't know how much an individual bit made. Of course he wasn't going to tell her that. "Feels a little short."
"It's not." She smiled warmly, but her voice was slightly angry. "One hundred bits all accounted for. I quadruple checked. But I suppose if you don't believe so then you can count it.'
O'Malley sneered at her and opened the bag, then looked into it and began counting. He counted to four and got bored, so he threw the bag in his backpack.
"So am I good?" The mare asked, raising a brow at him.
"I suppose." O'Malley nodded.
"Great." She smiled, sincerely this time. "I have to go do inventory now, so if you need anything else..."
"No, I've received what I came her to get." O'Malley mumbled.
"Have a nice day." The shop owner smiled, then walked into the next room.
O'Malley sighed sadly and looked at the chair next to the door. He slowly walked up to it, lifted his hoof above it then stomped on it. He then kicked several large pieces of chair off to the side and walked out of the door. O'Malley pulled out the paper as well as a pencil that was in the bag and checked off the book store. He glanced to his right and saw Wood Cutter staring at him fearfully through the window. O'Malley lifted his sunglasses and squinted at him. The old stallion then moved away from the window. The angry tax collector nodded to nobody in particular then began walking towards his next destination.
"O'Malley, I need to talk to you!" A familiar, tomboyish voice called out from behind him.
O'Malley, sparing no time for the rainbow maned mare whom he knew was the source of the voice, began sprinting down the road, not wanting to hear what the cyan pest had to say. He had smaller and more squeamish fish to fry.
"Stop running!" Rainbow Dash yelled, darting after him.
"No, you!" O'Malley barked as he slowed down to turn a corner.
Rainbow Dash slammed into O'Malley, sending him and his bag flying into the air. O'Malley slammed into the ground, then threatened it under his breath, vowing to torture the ground until it begged for death.
"Sorry about that, I just needed to-" Rainbow Dash began, but saw all the bits that were scattered on the ground. "Woah, did you rob a bank or something?"
"Hardly. I'm working for the city now." O'Malley muttered, trying to get up. "I was going to collect more taxes before you so rudely knocked me over.
"What about that whole Derpy thing, huh? Nevermind, I just want to talk to you for a sec, okay?" Rainbow Dash said, pinning him to the ground.
"Unfortunately I don't want to listen." O'Malley said, spitting at her, but the spit didn't reach her and fell back down on his face. "Curse you gravity..."
"Are you going to at least try and listen?" Rainbow Dash asked impatiently.
"Do I have a choice?" O'Malley inquired flatly.
"Not really."
"Then get on with it you fool." O'Malley sighed in defeat.
"Okay." Rainbow Dash said, taking a deep breath. "There isn't really anybody else I can talk to right now, what with the whole you and the others thing taking up everyone's attention."
"What about the one you've been spending all your time with. Fucker, was it?"
"No, he wishes." Rainbow Dash chuckled, then gulped. "But that's who I wanted to talk to you about. Him and I are... well, I'm not really sure what we are, and I-"
"What the hell do you think I am, a damn relationship counselor?" O'Malley groaned, throwing Rainbow Dash off of him, but she recovered midair. "Why are you coming to me for this?"
"I need you to find out if he really likes me, or if he's just seeing me as a challenge or something." Rainbow Dash said quietly. "I mean, I think he likes me right now, but I want to know if it started as a challenge for him. And I don't know, kinda just wanted some input."
"The only input I'm willing to give is me putting my hoof in your spine." O'Malley grunted then smiled. "I should write that one down."
"Uh-huh." Rainbow Dash sighed as he scribbled some words down on the back of the form. "So are you going to help me or not."
"I think the answer to that was obvious." O'Malley rolled his eyes. "What's in it for me?"
"Depends, what do you want?"
"Fourteen hundred gallons of blood!"
"I don't think I can get you that." Rainbow Dash shuddered in disgust.
"Then move out of my way. I have some peasants to harass." O'Malley murmured, pushing past her.
"How about I owe you a favor?" Rainbow Dash asked quickly and regretfully.
"Intriguing offer. Any favor I wish?"
"As long as I don't have to hurt anypony." Rainbow Dash nodded slowly. "And I mean any kind of hurt. I don't want to embarass somebody too badly..."
"Even if it's somepony that deserves it?"
"By that do you mean you think they deserve it, or others think they deserve it?"
"Both." O'Malley smirked.
"Okay, but I reserve the right to decide if I don't want to do anything to them." Rainbow Dash said, extending her foreleg.
"Fine, but only because I'm sure you'll enjoy it." O'Malley said, shaking her hoof abruptly. "Meet back here in, say, six hours?"
"Deal." Rainbow Dash said, darting off.
"I thought that fool would never leave." O'Malley sighed with relief, happy she was gone for now. He then picked up the bits and checked the map again. "Ooh, this one owns an aquarium. What fun!"
Interesting... Very very interesting... My guess is: O'Malley will beat the information out of Tucker.
Aquarium=glass
glass=fragile
fragile=high amounts of destruction
high amounts of destruction=FUN
i feel sorry for that poor owner, yet at th' same time i wish i was there with a video camera.
What's next a china shop?
Oh god, those fish are screwed. And rainbow going to ask omega for help? I just find that weird
Hah! The last line
O'Malley is getting softer~
Will this story end any time soon? There's dedication to your work but... geez.
1238620
Didn't you read my last blog post?
1238635
50 chapters... and you are in college. I would give some of my whiskey but I'm not that generous.
1238418 Don't forget the water and aquatic animals behind the fragile glass!
Too many chapters. This needs to end, it's painful.
Aquarium owner: Um...can I help you?
Omega: Shut up you. I'll have fun with your pain after I am done interroga...... I mean to talk to my friend fucker.
Tucker: Tucker.
Omega: That's right Bucker Muwahahahahahahah
1238665
Sorry, I didn't mean to force you to read it.
Is dash really desperate enough to ask omally for relationship advice? I know she dosent know him like the others do but she was warned about him. It just seems like he wouldnt be the one to go to for that type of information. O well, lets see what he gives dash in the form of advise. hopefully he wont crush her dreams just to be mean... even though thats what he does.
Favorited BEFORE reading so I can check this out later. I have work to do
oh snap that alot of words
1238443 I could not help but read that in Church's voice.1238665 if you don't like it, leave and shut up.
An aquarium, eh? Something smells fishy, here...
OW! Stop hitting me!
"Fourteen hundred gallons of blood!"
I can almost see his expression...
Pinkamena grin...
Eyes reduced to pinpricks...
The manic tone he takes on as he stomps his hoof to the ground...
Yep. Pretty vivid, all right.
Dag nabbit, now I just gotta know what O'Mally does to the aquarium owner . Those poor fish must be horrified...
dude, these people saying this needs to end?
they're crazy. this needs to go on forever
they can stop reading whenever they want, god forbid
Wow, this is still going?
I dropped out 50+ chapters ago.
Eh, good luck to you though.
Read every chapter so far, loving it. Although I have a sneaky feeling that Celstia's going to find about the AI sooner or later.... and that Twilight has the Necronomicon and used it to bring back Caboose. Still though, would be funny if Doc, Donut, Sheila, and Lopez showed up at some point....
although nobody would understand what Lopez is saying if he did show up....
and Sheila would have to adjust to being a pony.... and living and breathing and needing food...
and Doc and Donut would.... well.... just be Doc and Donut I guess.
Although I think if Donut were to show up, his cutie mark would be curtains (interior decorating)
1238418
good lord your right
1238660 Shit! i forgot about that!
1238728 its not his fault he decided to read it, besides im still not tired of this, in fact i cant wait for the next one when this is over! i mean itll have agent washington! hes my favorite freelancer!
1238987 It get boring when you entirely dedicate something to 1 story. It's over 200 chapter for Christ's sake.
1238728 It's fine, but don't you think over 200 chapters is a little much?
1241934 1241929
Eh, to me chapters means nothing, it's the word count that matters, and there are tons of other fanfics longer than this, AKA Fallout Equestria, Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons, Fallout: Equestria - Murky Number Seven , Living the Dream, The End of Ponies, etc. Hell, there's even a Teen Titans fic that's over 2.6 million words long.
Also, I have other stories I work on. Sure I work on this one a lot more than I work on the others, but I don't dedicate myself to one story.
1238418 Don't let yourself miss out on fun. Go to an aquarium.
Ok, I allowed myself some room for other interpretaton before, but I'm pretty sure this chapter solidified it for me.
O'Malley HAS to be read in his possessed-Doc Saturday-morning-villain voice.
1243030 I did go to an aquarium. but the problem is that it was a month ago.
There aren't any interesting aquariums in my city.
So you will let me do what I want. You will agree even if what I want is something mysterious. What I want is something frightening! What I want is something PURE EVIL! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Fucking loving O Malley more and more
I believe RD's IQ dropped for asking Om to dari g advice... why not ask Tucker directly? Oh wait age can't because its not cool
I will temporarily dislike this story until he leaves.
"Fourteen hundred gallons of blood!"
I totally read that as though he was screaming this out
Uh-oh I don't think anything good is coming up.
I can see it now bloody fish everywhere!
1577116 I shall save Derpy Hooves but not now.(has poor imagination for Derpy's personality)
What fun indeed.... Muhahahaha!!
2828822 if O'malley destroys the fishies, you AND him are both going on my trophy wall.
2828822I can imagine O'Malley right now breaking the fish tanks and all the fish pouring out and flopping all over the ground.
THE ENDING!
welp there's going to be a flood