"Oh, I know that story!" Caboose said happily. "We came here when-"
"Caboose, please stop talking." Church grunted, stuffing his hoof over Caboose's mouth.
"Come now, I'd love to hear what he has to say." Fancypants said reassuringly.
"I wouldn't." Church muttered.
"Let Caboose tell his story." Twilight said, winking at Church as she put emphasis on story, taking her own hoof of of Pinkie's mouth.
Church nodded in understanding, and reluctantly took his hoof off of Caboose's mouth.
"Go on Caboose, tell him your story." Twilight said encouragingly.
"Okay! A long time ago in a Galaxy far, far away, Sarge and I saved Church from a device called the Epsilon unit, and when we did I decided I wanted a turn in it, so I did! Then I fell for a billion feet and hit the ground, and the ground hugged me so hard I became a pony, and then my mouth tasted like highschool. Then, after that, I started hanging out with Pinkie! But then I got sad, so she threw me a party to make me unsad, and then Sarge and Church fell from the sky and hit the ground too, but they weren't ponies, they were robots! Well not robots. Sarge is a pirate, and Church is really a computer program, but they looked like robots, and I never noticed how tall they were until I was a pony. They must have been twenty half feet tall! Anyways, after that, Simon, Griff and Tucker fell down too, and Tucker hit his no-no area on a tree and I started to feel better!"
"Oh my, were they robots too?" Fancypants asked charmingly, playing along with what he believed was Caboose's wild imagination.
"Yes! Especially Simon, he is double robot because one time Griff got hurt, so Sarge had to replace Griff's ouchy areas with Simon's working areas, but then that made Simon's non ouchy areas become non areas, so Sarge had to give him robot areas to make it so he had an area that wasn't hurt!"
"Marvelous." Fancypants nodded, turning his head to Church. "Quite the overactive imagination, hm?"
"Yeah." Church nodded slowly.
"And then after they were all here, there was a flash and we were in Cerealestia's house! And she had long wavy hair! And then she used her magic to turn them into ponies just like me! And then she made the real ponies watch after us space ponies!"
"Princess Celestia-"
"Cerealestia."
"Very well. Princess Cerealestia turned you space robots into stallions?" Fancypants said, looking confusedly at the other stallions at the table, who stared at Caboose with the same look of confusion he was giving them
"Yup!" Caboose nodded.
"What a delightful sense of humor!" Fancypants burst out with a small bout of laughter, before calming down and turning to Rarity. "I do so wish I had met sir Caboose earlier, it has been a while since I have smiled so much. Why didn't you introduce me to him at the Royal Wedding?"
"Er, I'm not sure." Rarity said diffidently.
"You have no idea what a bore it is to live in Canterlot. Most ponies are so caught up in their experiences they never experience life. But this young stallion?" Fancypants asked, patting Caboose on the back. "He seems to have it figured out."
"That's what I've been saying the entire time!"
"Well it certainly was nice to meet you all, but I am afraid I should be checking on Fleur. Poor girl is probably feeling a tad lonely. At least now I will be able to tell her the tale of Caboose, the great space warrior!" Fancypants said theatrically, wiping his mouth with a small napkin. "Now as for the matter of paying, I insist you allow me to pay for your meals."
"That's not necessary." Rarity said quickly, not wanting to impose.
"Not at all!" Fancypants said, bowing his head. "You allowed me to dine with you without a moment's notice. It is the least I could do, my dear."
"I don't know..."
"At least let me pay for the main course. That way I can pay for the pleasantries, and you can pay for your desserts."
"Well-"
"Hey, if this guy wants to pay, let him pay." Grif said casually. "I mean, who are we to argue with his generosity?"
Fluttershy sighed and looked down at her salad to think.
"Are you okay?" Grif asked, noticing Fluttershy's distant attitude.
"I'm fine." Fluttershy said, forcing a thin smile.
"You barely touched your food. I thought the whole point of eating with friends was... well... eating."
"I guess I'm just not as hungry as I thought." Fluttershy said assuredly.
Grif stared at her curiously for a few seconds, making Fluttershy feel nervous.
"Ease up their Grif. Don't concentrate too much or you might lose one of your three brain cells." Sarge chuckled.
Fancypants smile rose at Sarge's remark as he waved over the server. He used his magic to pull a black silk bag out of his suit. He jingled the bag a few times, listening to the clatter of bits. He then opened it, took several bits out and jingled it again. This time he nodded and placed the bag on the table. The server grabbed the bag with her teeth and placed it on a tray.
"Does that cover them all?" Fancypants asked.
"Yes, sir." The server nodded.
"Fantastic." Fancypants said, returning the nod as he rose from his seat and began walking away. He then chuckled to himself and glanced back at them. "I hope that we can do this again sometime. And hopefully next time I can learn what part of space you came from."
"I would like that as well." Rarity stammered, feeling as if she wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words.
Fancypants gave the group a curt bow, before walking out of the restaurant.
"That guy is the pinnacle of classy mothefuckers." Tucker said after a few moments of silence
"You could probably take a few lessons from him." Rainbow Dash chuckled.
"What are you talking about? I'm on a whole different plane of existence in terms of class!"
"Sure you are, Blue." Sarge chortled.
"Satisfied that everything went well?" Twilight asked, noting how Church was not looking as grim as he did at the beginning.
"Night's not over yet." Church shrugged.
"Is there anything I can get you folks for dessert?" The waiter asked, still not having left the table.
"Yeah, I'll have another salad!" Pinkie smiled. "Oh, and three more banana splits. They're so good here!"
"Y'know what?" Tex asked quietly. "I'll have one too."
"Okay, anyone else?" The waiter asked, taking each of their orders as they said them. Once she had taken them all, and promised Caboose that she didn't know what Lucky Charms were, she set off to the kitchen.
"Come on, Church, can't you at least try to pretend that there is even the slightest chance that nothing can go wrong tonight?" Twilight asked.
"Pretending isn't my thing." Church sighed.
"Come on, you're making me feel mopey." Tucker chastised Church with a rough laugh.
"Well at least there's one bright side." Church muttered sarcastically. "But so far you've been right about tonight. It has been sort of fun. Well, aside from Caboose tearing apart the train."
"Maybe that was the bad thing you felt about tonight."
"Maybe." Church shrugged.
"Desserts coming right up." The server said as she came out of the kitchen.
The server trotted up to them, holding a large tray of desserts. She quickly gave them their desserts, and turned to go to another table, but went to fast and tripped, sending the rest of the desserts flying in the air.
"Told you so." Church said with a sigh of relief.
The assorted treats splattered many of the surrounding tables patrons.
"Food fight!" Pinkie yelled, pulling a cannon out from under the table.
"Okay, seriously, why the hell does she have access to so many cannons?" Tex asked curiously.
"Pinkie, don't-"
Before Twilight could stop her, Pinkie slammed her hoof on the button on the side of the cannon, sending an array of treats shooting out of it, splattering several other patrons. Then the yelling started.
"Now I can relax." Church said, munching on his small piece of cake as the chaos broke out.
lol i love this chapter
... Chaos... Put Discord, Ol'Necky and Caboose in a room and have them talk for a bit or put them in Caboose's mind now!
Fancypants is best pony.
nice chapter
Chaos breaking out around him and only THEN does he relax and feel calmer........also poor Fluttershy she really is letting what Tex said get to her and Grif has no idea about it. Well here's hoping he is able to prove Tex wrong.......or at least hoping he doesn't prove her COMPLETELY right.......pretty sure Fluttershy would be devastated by that if it was...
Sounds like a normal day at my work.
So Church has an easier time relaxing during chaos than during no chaos at all huh?
Maybe Discord should plan his vacation.
>>Neon Fracture YES! You sir deserve a mustache
1002003 these "joys of life" what are they? im sorry i cant read your text over the stupid shit todays youth finds funny or fun to do. now to the tube of you to watch shitty skateboarders hit their nuts on railing and other object that hurt when driven into the pelvic area by momentum.
IT IS GODS WILL THAT THESE TEENAGERS BECOME INFERTILE!
That last line!
That was fantastic, this story is always good for a laugh.
Does anyone else think that Pinkie can be a good arms dealer?
Maybe Tex's business partner if she ever starts that Hit man service thing ?
291458 Oh dear god yes!! You like Red Vs. Blue!!!
Oh, man. He called it!
Also, no Lucky Charms? What blasphemy is this?!
this story is going to run me into the ground regardless of my work in the morning i stay up till 1 or later just to read a chapter........i regret nothing and love this story pls keep it up and i pray grif proves tex wrong
church=pure awesomeness+paranoia+acceptance of reality(somewhat)
.....this misson just got alot more complicated.....-
David aderson from mass effect
1002029
I don't know why, but, your icon matched perfectly you comment
ah the legendary pinkie pie food fights :3
Mhhh I think church may like discord. Chaos and Church seem to like each other.
Life can never be complete without a few flying tables, screaming, and gratuitous explosions.
awww no price blueblood violence. i guess church has the pinky sence 2.
1002350
My icon always matches my comment. Cheers mate.
1001944I WANT A JELLY BABY 1002523 have daleks tried jelly babies? No? Oh well, their loss *eats a jelly baby*
1002619
Same here :D
1002699
Still waiting for someone to ask what I do for a living to make this common place.
Hahahahaha rofl. Another great chapter, and this one even had the great story of Caboose: the inter-dimensional traveling space pony! Rofls
1002190 It's an all out war for a taste of guncakes.
Google Guncakes by Yelling at Cats and Living Tombstone. You just described it nicely.
Well, now I can relax. Wolf thought to himself. Good thing he didn't believe a word of it. And with that, Wolf shouldered his sniper rifle and left. Until it was time for something else to happen in this little story.
what shows less sanity? remaining calm and collected in reality-shattering pandemonium, or going with the flow and panicing?
998407 and Theta fucked your plans, as well as Omega fucking your rage
1002523 and exterminations from time to time
1001992 You're asking to implode the world here buddy.
BAHAHAHA The last few lines had me dying!!! You sir, a literary genius!! MARVELOUS!!!
1002720
Tell me :D
1004713
Day care work ( day job)
Technical Theater (night job). It's amazing how many things can go wrong within 5 minutes after a safety check
Caboose telling the story sort of reminds me when he put Epsilon Church in the Monitor and told him all their adventures.
1004798
>It's amazing how many things can go wrong within 5 minutes after a safety check
Food fight? Fuck yeah...
1003060 hahaha lol, that must be her add poster she should add the slogan
"Buy Now Or You Will Get Cupcakes!"
On a side note I hope darkwing makes another chapter where caboose is smart like
when he talked with pinkie on the bridge cause after watching this weeks PSA I'am
really in the mood for one.
1006759
I am planning to actually do PSAs now, I'm announcing which one when I finish the next chapter. And Caboose does have a few smart moments in future arcs already.
The Only way this could be more epic was if this was the first episode of season 3 for MLP:FiM.
Or maybe, this could somehow be made to continue into an everlasting series, but in order to do that I need to extract your AI and make it write NON-STOP.
OR EVEN MOAR MAYBE, You could somehow tie this in with on launch day for pilot episode of season 3.
Been on this awesome adventure with you over a year now, and I am changed since it started. I has a baby bro, I'm in my senior year in HS, and I have moved houses. The Culmination of this STORY would be an AWESOME gift. No Pressure
Does she need permits for these cannons?
I though for sure Cerealestia would meet them there. Ah well.
1006969 Yay! cant wait. Maybe I can use buffalo power to visit the future!
1001944
I've reversed the Jelly Baby of the neutron flow! - Flesh Doctor
I think he should just stop worrying. If shit is always going to hit the fan then don't give a buck.
1001992
i remember me saying a similar thing couple of chaps back but containing allot of energy rich food and a blue and pink pony
If only Fancypants was there to help with the food fight...
Fancypants is awesome
I love you church!