The Witch of the Everfree!
Written By
Serra Quill
Ponyville Schoolyard, fifteen minutes to three.
The children sat in class as their teacher, Miss Cheerilee, handed out homework. They all wanted to go home... Well, almost all, except three girls who sat at the back of the class. Instead they awaited the end of the day so that they could go find what they were talking about during the Lunch break time.
After the teacher had finished handing out sheets she asked the class to stand, five minutes remaining on the clock as everybody grabbed their bags with their lunch boxes, Miss Cheerilee wrote one last thing on the board before turning around.
Somehow Miss Cheerilee always made her speeches on the dot because right after she told them all to have a good weekend the bell rang.
The three girls ran outside, knocking that snotty girl, Diamond tiara on her butt in the process, "Damn you, mark-less idiots!"
The last thing the three heard from the classroom was Miss Cheerilee reprimanding Diamond for cursing. With a giggle they breached the front door of the school and ran to their bikes and scooter. A candy apple bike stood next to a small white bike, and finally, an orange scooter. The purple haired filly placed her helmet on as she turned to the others, "So you guys ready to find that witch? I heard she has a cottage deep in the evergreen where she eats Timberwolves"
A pink hair bow bobbed as another little girl turned to the one who spoke, "Yall can't eat Timberwolves Scoots, they're made of wood," the girl said as she got on the bike and put on a green helmet.
The pink and purple haired girl blinked between her friends, her shrill voice squeaked out, "So do we have to go into the Everfree to find this Timberwolf eating witch? Isn't that kinda dangerous?"
"Well, we go to Zecora's all the time, so it can't be that dangerous and," she looked at her friend on the bike, "She doesn't eat Timberwolves, so we should be fine, Sweetie Belle. Anyway, if anything happens all we have to do is run as fast as we can back to Appleblooms house, right?" she asked like it was flawlessly planned.
The other two shrugged as they all got on their bike and scooter, Scootaloo grinned as she turned to her side to face them, "Cutie Mark Crusaders, Witchfinders GO!" she bellowed as the other two joined in, the small Valkyrie flapped her wings and sped off on her Scooter , the other two peddling behind her as fast as they could.
In the Everfree
The light hum of a song drifted through the low-lit trees of the Everfree, a small glow of eerie purple made shadows through the forest as a face danced around, the face was actually that of a woman. Twilight Sparkle, the immortal spellcaster, guardian of the forest of magic... At least that was what it was once called. Many years ago when the forest was flush with life that emanated within, the ponies would dance among the fauna and wildlife, but long ago a dark individual had corrupted the essence of the forest. The individual was somebody Twilight had known well, too well, but that is for another time.
Twilight had gotten rid of the dark magic that lay upon the forest, those many years ago, but the fear was already deep upon the populace, none would enter her forest again, though many new encampments surrounded the Everfree.
It was strange how fast the people of Equestria adapted with their new "Technologies". The inventions were very intriguing, though Twilight still preferred her magic over the clanging noisy hullabaloo of present day society. Nearly forty years ago she checked up on the latest village that had sprung up close to the Everfree. She went transformed as a cat; it was wonderful to see her fellow kind once again. Though since that night, when a few people accidentally caught her changing back into her human form as she returned to the forest, they dubbed her the Witch of the Everfree... Some, though, called her a faerie. None of the superstitions were true, she was simply an immortal who liked the wilderness. Sure the Everfree had evolved into a self-sustaining ecosystem where large predators liked to stay, but it was still her home.
Only four among the living knew about her, and only two could call her friend at the moment. The first was a dragon she had known for nearly one hundred years now, whom she found as a hatchling left behind by his mother for reasons unknown. Twilight had brought him up as her own child, and now he was quite a large Drake, nearly as tall as her home, with large purple scales and spines of green that descended his tail. The Dragon had named himself Spike, and she was happy to call him that.
Seventy years later an encounter with another race brought her second friend.
A small Shaman wandered her forest floors. Twilight had followed the child, probably only fourteen or fifteen, until they stumbled upon a hydras cave. Twilight had intervened and shown herself for the first time in many years to another living creature by her own choice, and said creature could never be more thankful. To this day Zecora would visit every so often to see how Twilight was doing, her small abode was quaint, but it was always a welcome surprise when Zecora came around.
That is why when Twilight heard laughter that she had never heard before ringing through her forest , it surprised her, stopping her studies as she listened closer. Once more laughter came, different from the first, and she realised someone else had stumbled quite close. Twilight looked around her forest as her eyes flicked around in the direction it came from, Now who would wander through my forest? It isn't Zecora, there is more than just one voice, I think it best I check before anything happens. Twilight looked around as she took off her cloak and placed it down, only torn fabric across her chest with her hips bare. She lit her horn as her body began shifting and shrinking, all the way down into the form of a cat but still retaining her horn.
Let us be off, She paused as she turned, she bolted to the left of her house where heat blew her fur back. There sat Spike laid upon his claws, his nostrils flared as heat passed by Twilight. The Drake opened an eye slightly as he looked down at the cat, no bigger than his claw. "Spike, be a dear and check on the Timberwolves pack, there seemed to have been some voices in the forest just now."
The large Drake began to stand as he arched his back, large audible cracks sounded off as he breathed a sigh of relief, his voice rippled in a low octave as he spoke, "Sure, I'll be back soon," He then turned as he ran through the tree swiftly. The dragon was grounded, as he was born without wings, but that never meant Spike was slow.
Twilight sighed in relief, glad to know the Timberwolves wouldn't move without her say in the matter. She watched Spike fade into the gloom before she turned on her paws and ran in the opposite direction.
A few minutes later she came upon the sight of three little girls, no older than twelve, What are you three doing, didn't your parents ever warn you about this place? I swear I should have sealed this place once the populace began fearing it. Not only me, but Celestia should have warned the populace of its dangers. Her small steps made little to no sound as she stalked the children, careful not to scare them. For the next few minutes she watched as the small purple haired girl told jokes, and every so often she would jump and flutter her small wings, it was rare to see such small wings on a girl of her size.
A large roar suddenly rang through the forest. Twilight knew what it meant immediately; the pack were not near their burrow. This was very bad as these three had the scent of normal ponies, Twilight had adapted to life in the forest and by doing so, after thousands of years she could smell more. One thing, in particular, was fear. All three smelled of it, but the worst by far was the little Valkyrie girl, she was a beacon for the Timberwolves and no doubt they had smelled her.
The only thing Twilight could do was try to divert them away from going deeper, she burst from the bushes, making the three girls jump. That was until the second small girl squealed shaking her fists before she dove to her knees grabbing Twilight, "A little kitty, Soo~ cute~"
"You sure yah should be grabbing at animals from the Everfree Sweetie? Sure, it might not be clawin' or biting y'all yet but-"
"Look at this face, though-" Sweetie said as she lifted Twilight up. Twilight herself, quite confused by the exchange, shook her head to snap out of her trance. She pushed the child's hands apart, dropping to the floor before she ran in front of them and hissed, trying to look agitated and dangerous. Well, attempting to at least.
Applebloom came up to Sweetie and placed a hand on her shoulder, "See, it's still a wild animal Sweetie, let's just keep going," Applebloom said as she tried to pass Twilight, who in turn jumped to the side to block her path, "What the-?" Applebloom stepped to the side. So did Twilight. "Move a little kitty, we gotta go somewhere, we're going to se-" Suddenly the sound of branches ripped their attention away from the cat.
Twilight sighed in defeat, thinking, Well, that failed miserably, and now I have to deal with this group... Yet again. The three fillies got close together as they looked around, eventually staring at the two orbs of yellow coming closer from the shadows. The three had seen this twice before and already knew they couldn't outrun it, and without their sisters, they knew they wouldn't be leaving. The two orbs split as more appeared from the darkness, at least seven Timberwolves, So the whole pack is out, Shouldn't be too hard, but these girls might see me, Twilight turned her head to face the three as she thought it over.
Sweetie looked down at the small feline as it pondered its thoughts, she thought it was weird, but brought her voice through the fear, "Kitty run! Run now little Kitty!"
That made Twilight turn her head again, this girl had warned another creature from the Everfree, one that had just hissed at her, such a pure soul. The other two little girls nodded with their friend as they made shooing motions, though keeping an eye on the Timberwolves.
The Timberwolves finally breached the shadows as a wooden muzzle came into the light that shone through the canopy above, noxious fumes spread as it snarled. The three fillies looked up at the sound as they turned to face the wolf. It began crouching to leap as it came closer, then it jumped as the three closed their eyes, awaiting their doom.
Though it didn't come. Instead came a yelp, followed by a thump from a few meters away. With trepidation the three slowly opened their eyes. There stood a very tall woman, long purple hair that glowed slightly as it ran all the way to her ankles, her arm was outstretched in front of them as the other Timberwolves snarled. "Thou shalt not touch these children, if you do not wish to join your leader, begone, or forever live with thine wounds!" the Timberwolves recognised this person, she was the owner of the forest, one whom had always been there since they were pups. To defy her was certain death.
Begrudgingly they backed away, the leader whimpered as he got to his paws, with a look at Twilight he bolted into the thick of the trees out of sight.
Twilight turned around as she sighed, only to see three wide-eyed fillies, the Valkyrie girl suddenly began jumping, "we found her, we found her, it's the witch... Wait.. It's the witch," after her excited display all three looked at each other before they dropped to their knees and clasped their hands together. "Please don't eat us... We won't come in the Fore-"
"Eat you?" Twilight said with a humorous grin, "Heavens no children, why would I ever eat you?"
The smallest of the three instantly stopped shaking and turned her head up, "You won't? Don't witches eat all little kids?" Sweetie asked.
Twilight thought about that for a second, "I don't know, I have never met a real witch, though many call me a witch so to answer your question... No"
The three sing-song an, "Oooooh~"
"What are you three doing in the Forest? Haven’t your parents told you it's dangerous? I mean you saw the creatures didn't yo-" suddenly a large dragon dropped behind Twilight as the three fillies screamed and fell into the mud, the dragon began laughing in its throaty voice, Twilight turned to him and whacked him. "That was not very nice Spike, you got them all dirty," she said as she sighed and facepalmed.
Scootaloo pointed a shaky hand at Spike, "D..d-dragon!! That's a dragon right?" she said with wide eyes.
Twilight turned her eyes back to them, "Technically, yes, but the term to use for Spike is Drake."
"Y'all mean like those we find inside the earth?" Applebloom asked, she herself actually quite calm compared to her friends.
Spike stopped his laughter, "Sorry... Sorry, I could not help myself, Mom," he said as the scared looks turned to yet again confused.
All three said in unison, that was actually creeping them out, "Mom?!"
Sweetie belle came forward, "you mean the Witch is your mum?"
Twilight stopped Spike from saying anything else, "Firstly I am not 'the witch', my full name is Twilina Crescent Sparkle but you may call me Twilight young ladies. As for Spike, I am his adoptive mother," once again it earned a Unified Oh. "Why were you out here?" Twilight asked them.
Applebloom spoke up, "We were looking for the Witch... I didn't believe Scoots at first, but yah was real, even Mah' sis' and her friends can't stop Timberwolves from attackin’ They have to use them elements to beat them."
The Elements? Twilight thought, They haven't been used since Luna was imprisoned. This could be more interesting than I thought, Luna and Celestia had used them after I showed them the tree of harmony and now they are used by normal ponies... I guess I can talk a bit more. As she looked at them, they looked like they needed to bathe now since Spike had covered them in mud. "Follow me and we will talk some more, I shall show you a place to bathe as I am sure you do not wish to return to your families covered in mud," Twilight said as she returned to cat form.
Sweetie gasped, "That was you? cool~" Twilight rolled her eyes, this was simply magic to her so it was a surprise to see a unicorn gasp at magic.
"C'mon, we're not too far from here," Twilight said as Spike bent down so she could jump up, "get on"
The three looked at each other before grinning, Scootaloo bellowed once again, "Cutie mark crusaders, dragon riders GO!" before they ran up to jump on Spikes back.
Strange, but interesting. I Like It! I await more, My Princess.
Interesting so far, if not a little fast paced and some awkward phrasing, but I'm willing to forgo those points on account that this seems like a neat idea. I'll wait a couple more chapters before I decide on anything solid. 'Till next time!
I'm loving it
Peace
Also how is the next chapter of Code Name: Dark Star coming along while I am correcting the single error in your description?
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131125165222/mlp/images/2/2e/Big_McIntosh_unamused_%22nnnope%22_S4E01.png
4090199 Oh wow, how in the hell did I miss that one........ face desk
Thank you
4090196 Its coming along nicely, just having to straighten out some rough patches and rearrange some facts and we will soon have an update... should be no less than a week or so depending on my studies as I have two weeks left to finish a documentation of a 25k+ word spread with diagrams and such for my project... as I said in my blog.. life's a bitch and I shall be its bitch henceforth until due notice and once I have spare time I can devote some to my projects that I really want to work on.
Okay, I´m intrigued.
Continue please.
4090401 YAAAAAAAY~ HELLSING FAN, just thought I had to say that and guten tag
4090199
4090196
Its okay guys, I fixed the Typo, (wipes sweat off obvious misspelling of the year award)
Ok I'm very interested by this story, keep up the solid work.
A tad fast paced, but rather interesting.
I was worried this story would have Twilight as either crazy, or the sinister cackling type, but nearly as nice as in the show, if a bit more formal.
I believe I shall follow this, yes.
Would it be too much if I demand for well.. MOAR!
Seriously though, can't wait till there is more for it was an extreemly pleasant read sofar.
I kindly request you to keep it up
4090403 He, of course. Miau und guten Tag to you too.=^-^= (Allthough my name is originaly based on the original experiment, not that little Waffen SS brat.)
Very intriguing. I will eagerly await more. You also spelled "can't" without the '.
4090653 Thank you for that, I just got a proof reader so it will be edited soon, I really didn't expect it to go so well
4090609 Hilarious, love it, Danke
Please realize this is just the rantings of a disgruntled author letting off steam
*notices only chapter was posted last month... notices spike in views within the last 24 hours* ...
*restarts brain*... *inhales* "son of a "
I've been struggling to get half a dozen new people to look at my story each time I update with a new chapter. Now, without updating, you spontaneously skyrocket onto the featured list with over 200 views in one day. What gives? You don't even have half that many followers. Did you submit your story to a group yesterday and get really, really lucky? Don't just say 'the story was good' I get a lot of pretty good remarks on mine too, It's the lack of readers that hold mine back. What skyrocketed you? It was like spontaneous combustion.
4090596 Your demands are duly noted, it shall be done my friend.
4090902 Just to ask... no mal intent I swear... when was I featured... I really am curious?
4090912 just now. Look at the front page at 5th from the top (6th place) of the feature list.
4090920 OMG I just noticed as you posted a reply, I swear I am dreaming... I could cry I am so happy but on another note, just sayin it will happen, I had this conversation with someone else not too long ago and he said I would eventually be featured so keep posting, I am about to look at your stuff
4090902 To be completely honest with your earlier comment, I just went to the shopping mall for about three hours to have a break and when I got back I had around 50 notifications and rising, looked over them and no one had put me in a group or anything but yesterday I re-edited the story if that re applies it to the update box I don't know?
4090958 nope, re editing doesn't count. I have often done multiple re embeddings a week. Looks like you are as clueless as i am to the source of the sudden attention.
4090967 meh I am stumped
This is going to be the new craze like "Ten Years Gone" (though I wish the author could update anytime soon)
4091080 Funnily enough I figured why it got attention, I only just posted this yesterday, I created this last month but I never posted it till yesterday and I already have chapter two all lined up for your reading pleasures
Please hire an editor.
4091178 I'm so sorry , just did so no worries, it will soon be edited hehe
I like the word potential, why is a reason long gone by now.
Anyway, good going.
Very interesting story. Can't wait to see where you go with this. I wonder who's taken Twilight's place as the element of magic.
Very interesting story. Can't wait to see where you go with this. I wonder who's taken Twilight's place as the element of magic.
This needs a lot of editing.
That's just the simple stuff to make it a bit easier to read. It's still very "tell-y" even so. I would suggest revising so that there is more variation in how things are said, and so everything is a bit more expressive. Here's a more comprehensive version of what I'm talking about:
There's actually a lot more you could do with this setup as well - describing the antsy movements of the foals as they anticipate getting out of there, the smells/sights inside the classroom or viewed through the windows, etc. I couldn't actually read it because unfortunately the entire story needs this kind of work-over. Do you have an editor/reviser helping you?
So, MLP:FiM minotaur-esqe anthro's then?
cs.sankakucomplex.com/data/92/a2/92a27e7e4dda669500659f9f5299210f.jpg?3339585
Anthro 2/hands, Anthro 3, or Anthro 4?
4091538 the picture didn't load, post again and I will look
Who is the Element of Magic?
times when you use Human words for ponies for example: Instead of "women" use the word "Mare"
other than that you should get yourseld a betareader
but is has potentional if you work out the kinks
4091589 tut tut tut, don't spoil it
Concept is good, but there are a lot of grammar issues that needs to be fixed. Every time I hit them it makes me stop dead in my tracks or stumble. If you can fix those you'll have something good going. I always reread my chapters whenever I make them now. Helps me catch a lot of mistakes or sentences that don't flow correctly.
I liked it I want some more kind sir and don't skip out on the words.
Chapter 1:
Hm... This is a tough review for me, since its difficult for me to say what I liked about this story. While the narration seemed fairly solid, with some minor spelling/grammar mistakes, a lot of the dialogue and thoughts felt a little awkward. I've honestly gone back and forth a couple times in wondering if this story is worth faving to keep up with. However, you have said that you've recruited someone to help you with editing, so its very possible these issues won't exist moving onward, or at least won't be so severe.
I know I primarily read it due to the picture implying the presence of cat-Twilight, and an interesting concept. Admittedly, I was expecting more of a story set in the future rather than an alternate universe. But... I'm interesting in finding out why everything in Ponyville seems to have remained the same without Twilight being the same. Who is the element of magic? A different student of Celestia, like Sunset Shimmer? I think it's this curiosity about the nature of your version of the world that will keep me reading. Although, extended sequences with Twilight as a cat won't hurt either.
...But that's just my two bits.
4091736 As for the first part of your comment, I fully put my hands up, I am quite bad when It comes to grammar and the such... hopefully with a bit of help and time I can make my chapters better.
On the second note, the element of magic is a ways off and for Kitty twilight... mehIdon'tknow, you might be seeing a lot more of her, we still have around ten more fillies and colts to go through and then there is much more in store, hopefully I don't disappoint and hopefully you will follow until you deem it non-par standard with what it has been given,
i like the concept definitely original i think anyway
4091930 Of course, I only have one setting and that's original
that title, oh god it gives me such ideas of death and despair, but i will see how you do.
4091944 nothing stopping you from making a fiction like this with a witch Twilight... if you do send me a link and I will post it... could be fun actually, I might make that a small project later.
4091944 not that in the later chapters there ain't sad parts, I mean Twilight does come from pre Equestria in this fiction so you will have to wait to know her past!!!
4091954
well my entire thing would be a post-equestria in a whole new kind of world. or, wow i just realized how the idea could go into hundreds of different directions
4091961 Now thats what I like to hear, get going Brotha... or sista, either way, hope the Idea for the new "WITCH TWILIGHT GENRE" ... yeah I said it. Send me a link if you do create one, I will happily read it for you, I am really intrigued as to what the idea could bring
Dear auther, i, an avid reader of unusal fiction, hereby as for a pm on you projected updating sequence. I am a huge fan from just thischapter, and wyvren spike is a great idea. Oh and last night when i slept i saw this, twi clestia, and lulu in a room conversing of what has happened and how the world has changed with the 'new' mane 6 in the background listning in on them.
And hears my vote