Having been granted rulership over the city of Vanhoover, and confessed their feelings for each other, Lex Legis and Sonata Dusk have started a new life together. But the challenges of rulership, and a relationship, are more than they bargained for.
“You’re sure you’re alright?”
Garden Gate nodded, though Turbo was close enough to her that he didn’t miss how she slowed down slightly as she did, as though trying to walk and nod simultaneously was a strain. “Really, I’m fine. You don’t have to keep asking me that.”
Trying not to wince at how lifeless her voice sounded, Turbo replied a little too quickly. “I know, I just...everypony here would understand if you wanted us to give you some space.” Turbo glanced around, receiving immediate nods from the rest of the group before he turned back to Garden, his face radiating earnestness. “For that matter, it wouldn’t be any big deal if you wanted to go back and rest. I’ll personally guarantee that we’ll be able to bring you some provisions before Piggy eats them all.” That earned a round of chuckles, all of which went unchallenged since the fat little earth stallion had run ahead of them a few minutes ago, worrying that their slow pace would mean they’d miss out on getting any food. Even Granola Bar wasn’t able to suppress a smirk, giving a genial roll of the eyes when Turbo glanced at her.
But Garden didn’t smile; if anything she seemed even less animated than she had a second ago, looking at the ground as she shook her head. “I’d rather go with you all.”
Turbo was about to try and persuade her that she didn’t need to do that – just the thought of her being around so many strangers in her weakened state, the same strangers who had kept them isolated in that deathtrap that Vanhoover had become, was enough to put him on edge – but the words caught in his throat as his eyes lingered on Granola Bar, remembering again what she’d told him last night.
“While we were in Vanhoover, Fencer was your secret weapon. Now that we’re out, Garden Gate needs you to be hers.”
Her message had been extremely easy to decipher; so much so that Turbo had felt embarrassed that he hadn’t put it together himself; they’d all seen Garden break down right before Lex had cursed her, after all. She’d flat-out said how horrible she felt about all of the things she’d done. But I didn’t hear it, he chastised himself ruefully, before correcting himself an instant later. No, I didn’t WANT to hear it. It had been easier to focus on what Lex had done to her than to deal with the mare he’d admired so much having suddenly gone to pieces. Even now, he’d been falling back into old habits, worrying about her physical safety instead of what would make her feel better.
Now if only he knew what would make her feel better!
He was certain she’d had nightmares after falling back asleep last night – he’d seen her toss and turn intermittently throughout the night, and a few times he’d heard what sounded like pained groans coming from her – but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to ask her about them when morning had rolled around. What was he supposed to say? “So, what horrors did you dream about last night?” At the time he’d thought it was better to let it go; she had to have nightmares while she was asleep, so it was better, he’d reasoned, not to make her think about them while she was awake too. And besides, she hadn’t mentioned them once so far. Surely she’d have said something if she wanted to talk about them, right? He’d thought so before, but now – seeing her downcast eyes and miserable expression – he felt uncertain that he’d made the right call.
Or maybe it doesn’t matter either way, he thought bitterly as they reached the edge of the crowd. However you slice it, I’m not helping her. He knew he was being too hard on himself, that it was beyond unrealistic to expect to completely cheer her up less than an hour after waking up, but he couldn’t help it. The idea she was in pain and that it was his job to help her had left him anxious to take action, even though he had no idea what to do.
“You think they’ll have any pie?” Funshine’s voice interrupted Turbo’s recrimination, making him blink as he looked over at the other stallion.
“Pie?” Slip ‘n’ Slide’s face reflected the mild incredulity in his voice as he looked at his brother. “Who are you supposed to be? Piggy?”
Funshine shrugged. “I’m just saying, if there’s going to be enough food to feed this many ponies, it’d be great if they had some pie as part of it.”
“We were eating wet cardboard at one point,” shot back Slip, looking as though he couldn’t believe he was having this conversation. “As long as what they serve is, you know, actual food, who cares if there’s any pie?”
“I’d love a nice salad, myself,” chimed in Granola Bar.
Slip’s eyebrows went up, his face now showing open disbelief at what he was hearing. “Are you kidding me?”
“Yeah,” nodded Funshine. “Of all the foods you could have after all this time, you ask for a salad?”
Slip ‘n’ Slide put a hoof to his face, giving a pained groan.
“What about you, Turbo?” Granola Bar was smiling slightly as she looked at him. “What are you hoping for?”
“Um…” Turbo glanced at Garden again, barely paying attention. “Anything’s fine, I guess.”
“Thank you!” exclaimed Slip.
“I, um…I’d like a hayburger,” spoke up Hopscotch from her usual place in the back of the group. “One with lettuce, and pickles, and ketchup, but no onions.”
“If they have any onions, I’ll take them,” smiled Granola Bar, before looking past Turbo. “Garden, what about you?”
“….huh?” Garden’s ears flipped up, a surprised look crossing her face, clearly not having expected to be asked. It was the first time all morning Turbo had seen her not looking completely depressed…and then he suddenly understood why Granola was asking her.
“M-macaroni!” he blurted suddenly, causing all of the nearby ponies to look at him. Fighting down a blush, he glanced around self-consciously. “My mom used to make macaroni and cheese for dinner when I was a kid. I couldn’t get enough of the stuff. She used to say that I’d get macaroni for a cutie mark because of how much I loved it.” He let that hang in the air for a minute before turning to Garden. “Your turn now.”
“I…I don’t know,” she muttered, looking back down.
“C’mon,” pressed Turbo. “We said what ours was, now it’s your turn.”
“I guess…” Garden paused then, pursing her lips and staying silent for a long moment before speaking again. “I guess I’d like it if they had rolls.”
“Rolls?” asked Funshine.
Garden nodded. “My dad…he would bake these rolls whenever there was a special occasion. He’d always glaze the bread so that it tasted like honey, and when you put butter in the middle of them…it was the best thing ever.” She let out a shaky breath, and blinked her eyes a few times, but the corners of her mouth turned up ever so slightly. The sight made Turbo’s heart soar, and he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
“Hey, look at that!” yelled Hopscotch, causing everypony to look back at her. Their heads all swung back around as they saw that she was pointing towards the front of the crowd, where a pegasus mare – Turbo’s brow furrowed as he realized that she was one of the ones from Lex’s group – was hovering, looking over them with a nervous expression on her face. As she opened her mouth, Turbo found himself looking away, glancing back at Garden again. If they have even one roll, I swear I’ll get it for you, he vowed silently.
Slightly ahead of him, Slip ‘n’ Slide was pouting as the white-and-pink pegasus mare began talking. “...peanut butter and jelly with the crusts cut off…”
“No way!” exclaimed Sonata. “Like, absolutely positively no way nuh-uh not gonna happen!”
“Look, this isn’t just for Cozy’s sake!” insisted Aisle. He’d spent the last few minutes telling Sonata what had happened with Cozy, and why he needed her help now. So far she was adamantly opposed to the idea, but Aisle wasn’t ready to quit yet. “I’m telling you this for Lex’s own good too!”
Sonata frowned at that, confusion and skepticism mixing on her face. “How is having me break one of Lex’s, like, most important rules, and doing it to make someone else lie to him, for his own good?”
“Because if he punishes Cozy now, it will make everypony hate him!” Aisle’s look was pleading, though even he wasn’t sure if it was for her to understand or simply to agree. “Think about it. If he finds out that Cozy didn’t help treat those sick and injured ponies, he’ll definitely hold that against her. Now imagine that he decides that she needs to be punished for…I don’t even know what he’d call it.” He waved a hoof in the air, too anxious to keep still. “Dereliction of duty or something. Can you imagine how that will make him look?” He paused for a moment to let that sink in. “A grieving widow, her husband’s body barely cold, and Lex goes ahead and uses his magic to make her life even more miserable just because she wouldn’t follow his orders.”
Suddenly uncomfortable, Sonata shifted on her hooves. “That’s…”
Aisle pressed ahead. “You can’t tell me that’s not something he’d do. Not after what happened with Garden Gate.”
Now it was Sonata’s turn to throw her hooves into the air, very nearly knocking down the tent they were in. “Garden Gate killed a guy! Why does everyone always forget that part?! It’s not like Lex just decided, ‘hey, I don’t like that girl’s face. I’m totes gonna curse her for it,’ you know!”
“She said she was sorry!”
“So that’s all it takes?! You just say sorry, and no matter what awful things you’ve done you’ll totes be forgiven right then and there?! Well gee, I wish me and my sisters had known that before we got tossed into that awful dimension for, like, a gazillion years!”
“That’s what’s important!” yelled Aisle, his voice raising as he reached his breaking point. “That’s what-” He stopped suddenly, sitting back and burying his face in his fore-hooves, and Sonata heard him make a noise that sounded distinctly like a sob.
It was enough to break her out of her anger, ears folding back in guilt. “…listen, I wasn’t trying to…I didn’t mean that Cozy deserves whatever happens to her, I just…it’s not fair that everypony is treating Lex this way. Not after everything he’s done.”
Part of her wondered why she was sticking up for him after what a jerk he’d been, but she didn’t have a chance to figure it out before Aisle spoke up again, lowering his hooves from his face. “I know,” he said, both his face and his voice filled with resignation and despair, as though he just wanted this to be over. “But Sonata…that is what’s going to happen. We both know that Lex will curse Cozy, and everypony will hate him for it.” He took a step closer to her. “We have to be the ones who stop it. You and me. We have to save both of them from themselves. Right now we’re the only ones who can.”
Sonata looked down at that, biting her lip. Maybe…maybe just once would be okay. I mean, Lex said to use my powers if there was ever an emergency, and I guess this is an emergency. Besides, she’d already cut a deal with Aria, hadn’t she? Lex was going to go ahead and make her into a pony in a couple of days, and then Aria would keep up her end of the bargain and enchant ponies to like Lex anyway. So really…this was just keeping everything running smoothly until then. Someday I’ll tell him about this and we’ll laugh, she thought, trying desperately to make herself believe it. Licking her suddenly-dry lips, Sonata lifted her head to look at Aisle.
“Okay…I’ll do it.”
Both Turbo and Aisle put their whole effort into achieving their goals, only to realize that sometimes a softer touch is what's called for.
Meanwhile, what is Lex going to do about the food situation?
Page generated in 0.062 seconds
Total duration
651 users online
933,866 hits today, 2,130,388 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This story deserves more views.
Dangit, I can't wait to figure out how Lex is going to magic up the food.
Sonata's comment about her past made me realize something: Starswirl and Lex are fairly similar, aren't they?
8525307
My guess is that he will teach them the same magic he uses to make it.
Or atleast teach enough of them.
Or try to...
Something tells me that Sonata will never tell Lex about this, ever and I doubt that this will be the last time she'll be doing this. From her perspective, she's probably doing this to help both Lex and Cozy and should it succeed, she'll likely use it as an excuse to enchant others more down the road, all in the name of helping Lex and his image. The things people do for love, even if it's behind their backs.
While Aisle's words feel more he's saying them to convince Sonata to help Cozy than anything else, he does provide a valid point here, should Lex discover Cozy's lack of contribution to aiding the sick and wounded, especially after he ordered her do so, he will likely punish her. While I don't think Lex will curse her for 'dereliction of duty', he'll likely sentence her with something less dire. Either way, it will tarnish Lex's image even further and that's not something Sonata can afford.
At least Garden is improving, even if it's ever so slightly. Still, baby steps.
Isnt there is a combination Lex can use which uses a reducing multiplication factor given total number of assistant sub magic users to power certain higher level spells, such as the next food spell, Loaves and Fishes? For feeding crowds?
Block Party has finally got to Sonanta?
8525486
I proposed the same idea a few chapters ago but Alzrius said that it's a spell that requires the caster to be at least 5th level to cast and I doubt many if any of the ponies here are near that level. And even if there are ponies capable of casting the spell, the amount of food they'd conjure would still be insufficient to feed everyone.
I feel like a lot of ponies will have to go hungry though Lex has been shown to perform miraculous feats before. Though they were all combat related so I'm curious on what Lex has up his proverbial sleeves.
8525552
Plan B.
Grazing.
Plan C.
Clear a path back down to the harbor and start fishing ?
It may not be their preferred food, but horses CAN eat meat.
Plan D.
"Dear *insert deity here*, kindly fill our bellies."
Plan E.
Lex borrows magic energy from others .?
8525632
I'll admit, that made me laugh. Thanks for that.
Though to be serious, if the ponies were willing to eat rotten vegetables and risk food poisoning then that means one of two things, they either can't eat grass, or they're not desperate enough to eat grass yet. Though given the living conditions, I don't think grazing would be good for them. And wandering further from camp for 'cleaner' grass would be risky.
In the Silververse, there are cases where ponies do eat meat though there has been no evidence of this in Ponyfinder series as far as I recall. And besides, clearing a path to the harbor and securing it would require resources and manpower...er ponypower that Lex doesn't have.
However, that last one feels like it has merit and could be a viable solution since I remember a cleric summoning food for Twilight and Spike in A Dangerous Sparkle by praying to their patron god/goddess. Though I could be remembering wrong and it's the same spell Lex uses. In either case, Lex is the only one capable of performing that feat.
Man, now I just made myself even more curious on if and how Lex will pull this off.
8525226 I know, right?! But apparently I'm quite bad at promotion (and I really need to get some cover art, darn it!).
Also, thanks for saying so!
8525755
My artists are available (but not free).
8525307 Well, to be fair I think Star-Swirl was in a bad place when we saw him in the season seven finale. After all, from his point of view, he and the other Pillars had just managed to save Equestria from a great evil...and then had his work undone by some starry-eyed little ingenue who didn't think her actions through. So I can see him being in a fouler mood than usual...though the fact that he was so quick to judge Stygian makes me suspect he wasn't all that much different than normal.
But yeah, the two of them seem to have very similar ways of approaching the world; they both are quick to try and take charge of a situation, believing themselves to be the most intelligent (and likely most powerful) pony around, and expect others to listen to them because of that.
Needless to say, I suspect the two of them would quickly come to hate each other if they ever met (that, and Star-Swirl was responsible for banishing Lex's beloved, after all).
8525498 I see Sonata as thinking that there's nothing wrong with enchanting people to get her way. While Pinkie Pie helped her see that there's more to people than just being her thralls (a point that was driven home by her falling in love), fixing a problem is something else altogether. If there's something bad happening, and she has the power to fix it, then I see Sonata as simply going ahead and fixing it; all Lex's talk about the immorality of violating personal autonomy is likely to be so much gobbledygook to her. So she's just playing along with his guidelines because she's rather laid-back; but if it looks like he's in trouble, well...she loves him too much not to rescue him, even if it's from himself, as Aisle noted.
Aisle himself is near-petrified over something else happening to Cozy. His idea that Lex will punish her for not helping the sick and injured ponies at the camp is certainly plausible, so his actions are understandable, but even so...the worst ideas are often the fruit of desperation, rather than malice. You have to wonder if this is really the best way to protect Cozy.
At least, as you noted, Garden is starting to recover just a little bit. It's almost like friendship is some sort of magical cure for what ails her, or something.
8525532 Mmmmaybe.
8525765
Expecting him to curse her seems a bit much -- mostly he just yells at people for dereliction of duty so far. Also, he kind of sees her as useless because she worships the useless god of uselessness, which might mitigate his disappointment.
8526247 Those are all good points. But given that Aisle seems to be a little beside himself at the moment, it's not too surprising that he hasn't come to the same conclusion.
8525486 I'm stumped as well
8525552
8525750
I hate that so much! It's like the people who got upset when they wanted to create national population statistics in Golarion. I've found that this attitude is usually from lazy GMs who don't want to worry about consistency or care about the logical outcome of whatever setting or plot they create.
It's interesting that Cloudbank will someday, if nothing goes wrong, surpass Lex as the Night Mare's main link to Equestria. (Assuming Cloudy gets a bunch of cleric levels). I wonder if the day will come when Severance starts serving Cloudy over Lex? In this scenario Lex is a bit like Manshoon and Cloudy is like Fzoul. Right now Lex is the powerful wizard partnering with the cleric of a tyrannical god to gain access to that god's power. And the cleric in turn serves that wizard as a living tyrant, which fits with their doctrine of hierarchy and order (though obviously Cloudy's and Fzoul have very different views on what the perfect lawful society should look like).
It raises an interesting question of legitimacy. To Lex, he is the legitimate ruler of Vanhoover because his brilliant mind has come up with a perfect system of governance. To others, he is a legitimate ruler because
A)The Regal Sisters say so, which Lex is trying to get away from as much as possible, since he doesn't want to acknowledge they have the ability to revoke his claim.
B) Lex's immense magical has kept them safe from threats. This works in the short term, but assuming the Everglow connection dies down, eventually Lex will eliminate all the threats to Vanhoover in the area, and memory and gratitude only get you so far.
Now Lex is adding a new criteria: C)He is the legitimate ruler because the Night Mare says he is, and she is an awesome goddess that will feed and protect everyone. But that means if Cloudy becomes a powerful and well-respected cleric, she could in a sense revoke his legitimacy by saying his actions do not follow the dogma of the Night Mare. I'm not saying she would, but she could.
That's a good description of the Night Mare and Kara. The difference between the two is, I believe Kara kept her old worshippers and just added ponies as well. The Night Mare, who presumably was worshipped by horrible monsters that ate ponies at night, switched sides to aiding ponies against her old worshippers. That's gotta sting.
8525758 They would definitely butt heads.
Actually, maybe Lex is a bit more like Stygian. If Lex didn't have powerful magic, I could totally see him
A)logically gathering up a group of powerful warriors to combat threats.
B)Being frustrated he couldn't assist in combating the threats himself.
C)Coming up with a weird ritual that borrows magic from others but is essentially harmless to those others, then enacting that ritual but not telling anyone about it. D)When confronted by an angry group of ponies that don't understand him, being unable to adequately explain his actions under pressure and then
E)Reluctantly bargaining with a dark and powerful being that would let him finally help Equestria with the power he needs.
lex is a control freak who uses facts to disguise the fact that he just wants to dominate everything. That is why the night mare likes him.
Personally I am only still reading this work because sonata is a good character.
Lex is not a character that you can deal with for a whole story.
8526369 Wow it's taken me too long to get back to replies. Sorry about that!
I'm going to break this down into sections, as you raised a lot of good points and I wanted to speak to them all individually:
To be fair, I can understand why some GMs wouldn't want to have certain things statted up...but I've never found any of those reasons to be particularly compelling. You disagree with something that's been written down? Just change it! RPGs are inherently "hack-able," and modifying them - whether in mechanics or setting - to suit your own purposes is more than just a tradition, it's a near-fundamental part of the RPG experience. You say that you'd prefer that X rule(s) be home-brewed rather than "official"? Newsflash: it's far easier to simply not use something than it is to make something from scratch. Having something exist means that those who want to use it can, and those who don't need not, whereas having something not exist necessarily puts the screws to those that want it. You're afraid of "canon lawyers" who will argue with you about using the "official" rules? That's a player problem, not a problem with those rules existing in the first place.
I don't see it as coincidental that the most prominent D&D/Pathfinder campaign worlds are, respectively, the Forgotten Realms and Golarion (even if there is no other official Pathfinder campaign setting); both are the campaign worlds that have been extensively developed, with numerous setting books written about them, as well as novels, comics, etc. In other words, less is not more; more is more. It's one thing to not want to use some bit of the game that you don't like, but I don't see why so many people think that means that certain rules shouldn't exist in the first place.
Heh, you know, I didn't quite realize just how much the whole Fzoul/Manshoon/Bane angle could be applied to Cloudbank/Lex/Night Mare until you mentioned it just now. That said, while I'll admit that I have thought of the Night Mare as being akin to Bane previously (mostly in chapters 44-45, which - as I let slip before - I patterned off of the interaction between Bane and Szass Tam in Richard Lee Byers' Undead), the role that I envisioned Lex in with regards to his relationship to her was slightly different from that of Manshoon, who seemed near-totally unconcerned with Bane's religion except as a political force. Rather, I see Lex's relationship with the Night Mare as being somewhat more akin to Mystra and her Chosen. Indeed, it wasn't a coincidence that I had the Night Mare call Lex "my Chosen," - capital "C" and all - in chapter 45.
And that makes for an interesting question as to whether or not Cloudbank will ever "surpass" (per se) Lex with regards to being the Night Mare's mortal representative on Equestria. After all, Elminster isn't a divine spellcaster (those few cleric levels he had in Third Edition notwithstanding), and indeed, most of Mystra's Chosen aren't, but there's a strong argument to be made that they enjoyed a relationship with their goddess that was at least as strong as that of her highest-ranking divine spellcasters (e.g. Adon). A similar argument can be made here.
What this gets down to, ultimately, is what constitutes being a representative of a particular deity. If we dispense with the character class-based idea (e.g. that clerics, druids, and other divine spellcasters are necessarily closer to their deity than other character classes) - which we can do thanks to the Eclipse class-less rules - then we need to wonder if there's any particular game mechanic that measures such a thing. I will admit that receiving clerical spells from a deity could arguably serve as a strong indicator (e.g. if Cloudbank starts being able to cast miracle spells while Lex is still limited to things like create food and water, that would make it look like she was more favored), but as this fic has stated, what sort of magic you're able to use is at least partially indicated by how you've shaped your body's magical pathways. The Night Mare needled Lex about this in chapter 44, noting that he didn't ask for greater divine spellcasting, and he pointed out that doing so without engaging in worship and prayer first tended to warp the body (which was made in deference to the differences between clerics and oracles that had been brought up in David Silver's previous fics). Instead, she gave him a major sign of her favor, in that he can take control of magical beasts directly (and a few other powers besides).
Of course, the key element here is that Lex anticipated exactly the sort of scenario you're describing, which is why he demanded a sign of the Night Mare's benediction, which she gave him. While we haven't really seen that in action, since there's no formal church of her in Equestria, he does have an indication that the Night Mare personally favors him, which presumably members of her faith would recognize. He knows that he's not pious, after all, and so he needs that in order to make it clear that the Night Mare is (at least for now) backing him.
I've made mention of this before, but there's a point here which will likely come up in future chapters: Because the Royal Sisters' granting him Vanhoover was little more than a verbal agreement that he run the city, Lex has a lot of room for taking advantage of the inherent ambiguity that arises if he starts nitpicking the details. That is, he could make a case that they ceded him the territory completely; that they effectively agreed to give him sole sovereign authority over the area, withdrawing any claims of rulership over the territory that they might have in favor of him. Obviously, that's not what they meant, but that's why you tend to write down deals of major importance. For Lex, being able to assert such a thing gives him all the legitimacy he needs.
Well, I wonder about that. To quote from Machiavelli's The Prince (hopefully without a discussion as to whether or not the book was meant to be satirical), "Those who by valorous ways become princes, like these men, acquire a principality with difficulty, but they keep it with ease." That is, those who acquire a kingdom under their own power tend to find ruling it easier, as opposed to those who come to rule due to the whims of fortune or by being installed by someone else. At the end of the day, Lex has fought very hard for the ponies of Vanhoover; once word of that gets out - particularly in light of the princesses not having been there for them - I wonder how they'll react?
Of course, Lex himself has been consistently disdainful of the idea that ruling means doing nothing except dealing with disasters. I can't quote it exactly, but I know he's said more than once in the course of this story that "crisis management is the lowest level of governance." If and when he takes over, he's already hinted that he wants to enact taxes so that he can start a number of public works programs, and that's likely just the beginning.
Ideally, Lex would have this, but if you're right about Cloudbank eventually becoming the voice of the Night Mare, then this is possible (I can't help but consider comparisons to Earth, when Popes would threaten to excommunicate kings to try and keep them in line). Given that religious power has a tendency to overlap with temporal power, such a thing wouldn't be unthinkable. Though given that Lex is essentially living out the Night Mare's tenets of his own accord (and the other stuff I mentioned above about his having her favor), this scenario doesn't seem too likely.
If my understanding is correct, Kara didn't have "worshipers" per se before the ponies arrived. She was essentially a powerful insect spirit, but everything else was just ordinary insects; they couldn't think, and so couldn't worship her. They certainly obeyed her (I suspect that she was something like an ultimate queen to them), but they couldn't so much as talk to her, let alone revere her with any sapience; given that she was sapient, she quite obviously hated being so alone, which is why she was so quick to reinvent herself when ponies came onto the scene.
I suspect that the same was true for the Night Mare, to a very large degree. She was a beast spirit who exemplified predators, and while there were probably some magical beasts that were A) sapient, and B) aware of her, I have to be suspicious as to whether or not they actually worshiped her. Most of them probably, to my mind, regarded her with some sense of jealous reverence; to them she was probably an ideal to strive for - and one day overthrow - than pray to. To that end, unlike Kara, I doubt the Night Mare cared to change until she realized that ponies were praying to her of their own accord in order to spare them, at which point the metaphorical light bulb went off over her head, and she changed her stance to try and maximize her worship (successfully so).
8526379 Well, I wonder if Lex would ever turn to others to begin with the way Stygian did. Given his poor personality, I suspect that Lex wouldn't be able to gather people anywhere near as well, let alone direct them. He'd probably go more towards the self-enhancement route...which is sort of what he did here.
8527203 He is a control freak, but at least his dominance would be benevolent (mostly).
8527206 Well that just makes me sad.
Typos abound! And what's up with you posting 3 chapters in 3 days? Inspired?
I believe 'instead of' to replace 'than about' would improve this. Or maybe adding 'more' before the first 'about'.
So, whenever you make an interjection like this, the sentence needs to continue as if the interjection isn't there. (Or rather, that's the rule I use. It works.) It doesn't do that here. However, changing to part of the sentence, instead of an interjection, would fix it. Something like this.
Well this is going to be fun.
8533300
I'm trying to write fifty thousand words over the course of November. It's proving to be more difficult than I recall.
I agree. Change made.
Yeah, I know. That was an error on my part (I'm nervous that trying to write so much so quickly is impacting the quality). It's fixed now.
Isn't it always?