If you're here on this page that means you've taken the time to click my username and whisk yourself off to the magical land of TheOnly's fics.
While you're on this page I invite you to kick back, relax, and enjoy yourself. Feel free to leave a comment on my page about anything, whether it be a suggestion, a question, a compliment, a criticism, or even just a conversation starter. I love to talk.
If you're here to get some updates on what I've been up to, look at my blog, I make new posts often.
Now, because you've taken the time to come to my page and stay for long enough to read this, I should reward you, right?
- Shining Armor is Too HandsomeShining Armor explains to his children how being too handsome led to the ruin of his life and eventual marriage of their mother.6,352 words ·2,499 views ·237 likes ·14 dislikes
- Class SinsA humble parody of Past Sins.5,887 words ·3,540 views ·290 likes ·51 dislikes
- Where Do the Clouds Go?Pegasi have been pushing clouds around the sky and breaking them up for years and they never really worried about where the clouds went, or who it would anger. They also weren't prepared for war.4,904 words ·1,331 views ·107 likes ·24 dislikes
- A Wild Far Fetched AppearedHumans that are Pokemon that are ponies that are Pokemon are going to Equestria, all because of acorns, and math gets them there.4,371 words ·1,392 views ·98 likes ·25 dislikes
- Coffee ShopBent on bringing coffee to all the corners of Equestria, two experimental stallions arrive in Ponyville and open up a coffee shop. Unluckily for them they haven't met the residents.9,643 words ·321 views ·37 likes ·1 dislikes
- Halo Beach: GMFOHA brave and valiant spartan warrior finds himself in unfamiliar territory. Unable to form any signal to base, he is stranded on a beach inhabited by an odd species, with only a high powered assault rifle to protect him from their cuddles and hugs.2,925 words ·485 views ·30 likes ·7 dislikes
- Brown BoxCanvas can't get a job.5,252 words ·907 views ·105 likes ·18 dislikes
- The Democratic Election of EquestriaDemocracy and ponies don't work out too well6,354 words ·840 views ·52 likes ·2 dislikes
- Mirror, Mirror, On the WallMirrors are creepy3,245 words ·422 views ·17 likes ·2 dislikes
- Nothing Gold Can StayTwilight must leave1,367 words ·1,194 views ·92 likes ·15 dislikes
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New to my stories? Here are some "good" ones to get you started, if you can't decide what to read first.
- How Every Shipfic Would Actually Happen A realistic view on shipping fanfics 7,125 words · 18,382 views · 1,977 likes · 133 dislikes
- My Little Stashie A humble parody of My Little Dashie 6,904 words · 11,266 views · 869 likes · 41 dislikes
- The End of Ponyville Twilight can't find her pillow 17,350 words · 13,231 views · 854 likes · 33 dislikes
- Sweetie Belle Finds Out Where Babies Are Made Rarity tells Sweetie Belle where babies are made 1,348 words · 24,049 views · 1,229 likes · 63 dislikes
Q: What's your name?
Q: What's your favorite food?
A: All of it.
Q: Who is best pony?
A: I do not objectify ponies. It is Rarity, however.
Q: Can I advertise my story on your user page?
A: No. Now run before I get the spray bottle.
Q: Why are you only following Chromosome?
A: I do what I want.
Q: Will you follow me?
A: Are you Chromosome?
Q: What color pants are you wearing?
Q: Do you write clop?
A: Define clop.
Q: Sensual pony fan fiction?
Q: Will you?
A: Will you?
Q: What's your favorite word?
Q: How big is your vocabulary?
A: Twelve words
Q: Are you a gorgeous piece of man-cake?
Q: Did anybody actually ask you these questions?
A: Of course they did.
Q: No seriously, it isn't an FAQ if none of these questions has been asked, right?
A: It's okay, probability says somebody's bound to ask them.
Q: But that doesn't make them frequently asked, correct?
A: Get out.
The Idea Mill
Need a story idea? I have plenty that I've completely abandoned for reasons that should be too obvious. Feel free to steal these.
1) Pinkie Pie is a train. Choo choo motherfucker.
2) Second person fic that stars you as a saddlebag.
3) Rainbow Dash sits in a room and watches a piece of dust journey across the floor. An introspective fic about the beauty of moving slowly. Things blow up at the end.
4) Spike starts reading a book about cooking and gets really good at cooking. He becomes chef spike and gets his own cooking show. Hilarious.
5) Pinkie Pie does something funny.
6) Twilight steps on a piece of glass and realizes that she's actually made of metal and a robot.
7) Pinkie Pie is actually half-chicken
8) Rarity goes into town and buys something. She returns to her boutique and uses her bought item to complete a task. The funny part is the anti-climax.
9) A story that devolves into a race between Rainbow Dash and a rainbow.
10) The earlier years of Tom the rock, when he was a young buckaroo going to parties in high school and getting wasted.
11) Twilight is actually a top level general of the Equestrian military. She attacks everything on sight.