MLP episode review: The Cutie Pox · 12:11am
Now, then. We all inoculated? Circle, circle, dot dot, but it's not an everlasting shot for...
The Cutie Pox
Todays' the day the Crusaders will get their marks in... bowling! Man, there used to be a candlepin bowling alley a few minutes from where I live. Good memories of the place. And wait, bowling?! When do they bowl? But they'll be the... Three Strikes! And that's the whole ball game, ladies and gentlemen. Pin Twins? nope, three of them. Larry, Moe and Curly. And sometimes Shemp. The Bowling Dolls, complete with Charlie's Angels-esque silhouettes. Inside, we see Big Lebowsky expies. Since I've never seen the movie and have no plans to, I can't make any real jokes/references about them. Sweetie Belle is pleased with her gutter ball! Scootaloo nearly takes everyone's heads off before guttering out. And Apple Bloom gets faked out on getting a cutie mark. It turns out her ball does the standard 'roll slowly and fail to even nudge a pin' gag. Aww. :(
Outside and after the credits, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are cheery, but Apple Bloom's not. They notice her dour mood and try to cheer her up with treats, a party, a new chapeau that looks like she's ready for a Royal Wedding, but nothing doing. Scootaloo even says it's 'just' a cutie mark. Okay, major change of tune, there! Apple Bloom wanders into the Everfree, and the others just... leave her be. The heck? Apple Bloom trips and... ooh, okay, I've had some fillings over the years, and all four wisdom teeth out at once, so I'm in sympathy pain right now. Zecora walks up, sees it and leads her back to her hut.
There, Apple Bloom lets loose a bit about not having a cutie mark. Zecora tries the patience bit, but Apple Bloom's heard that more times than I've heard the Transformation 'buzz-crunch'. "I'm too impatient to be patient!" And she almost blows up Zecora's house by messing up the tooth remedy. Apple Bloom drinks some of it and her tooth regrows! She notices all of Zecora's potion, stuff that fixes the bad and brings the good. She slyly wonders if she can mix up a brew for a cutie mark. But, no. Meanwhile, Zecora brews up some... rooster Viagra. I'll just be straight. It's rooster Viagra. Apple Bloom notices a plant called 'Heart's Desire'. It will ignite the rooster's 'fire'. And he'll get higher and higher, amirite? :D All the petals fall into the cup, like magic. I guess She Can Do Magic! She can Have Any-thing, that she Desires! Apple Bloom begins to get ideas while Zecora notices she's out of amethyst. Better get to Gemworld, then. Apple Bloom decides to become Sabrina, and we cut to the next day.
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are in the schoolyard when Apple Bloom walks by, nose higher in the air than Diamond Tiara's. And Apple Bloom flashes her flank at them. No, seriously. That's what she does! She blinds them... with her SCIENCE! Nope, her cutie mark! It's a steel ring. Ohhai, Twist! She speaks again! Hey, Apple Bloom! Remember your friend, Twist? Yeah, it angers me she was left out of the friendship circle and pretty much forgotten. No, it's a loop-de-hoop! And like magic, she's got one around her barrel. Wait, where did that come from?! It's from an old rain barrel from Applejack. So it's the Equestrian origin of the Hula Hoop here, then. The other Crusaders are very happy for her, which I rather like having them be. It would've been too easy for the writers to have them be angry/jealous. Instead, they're happy for their friend. Kudos! :)
And worst pony, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, say it's a lame mark. You fail at life! And hey, they appear again and are nothing but one-dimensional bullies! Why am I not surprised? Apple Bloom shows off a bit with it, and it's pretty cool. The bell rings and Cheerilee calls them inside, but they're too enamored with her tricks. We get a scare spot of Cheerilee about to bring da' hammer down... but no, she wants Apple Bloom to show off her special talent!
We get a montage that reminds me of those old news shorts I've seen from the fifties about people doing insane Hula-hooping, including one bit of Worst Pony messing up. And I chuckle darkly at that. Special props to Apple Bloom being able to fly with it. She must go. Her people need her! She also teaches a bit of loop-de-hooping. Oh, and she gets a second cutie mark! Diamond Tiara accuses them of being fake cutie marks. Hmm, Cassandra Truth, I believe? CHeerilee thinks that maybe Apple Bloom has two special talents! And Snips and Snails with plates and sticks OUTTA NOWHERE! No, seriously. Where the hell did they get those? Writers...
We get another montage of Apple Bloom showing off, including her using a hoop to slice the edges off of the cloud Dash is using for her midafternoon, post-morning nap. And then Dash wakes up, looks over the edge and heckles her! She even spins Twilight's mane into Rarity's style. Spike's eyes become hearts and it gets ALL kinds of skeevy, there. The Apple Family's there and proud of Apple Bloom. Applejack even helps her to show off, like a filly with some fancy ribbons. :p Okay, I kid. It's family, after all.
Back at Sweet Apple Acres, they're proud of her, but Apple Bloom looks pretty tired. Big Mac helps Granny with a Charlie Horse and yups and nopes. Apple Bloom goes to bed, but that night, Applejack's woken up by rabid tap-dancing! She finds Apple Bloom tap-dancing, with a third cutie mark. I guess three times isn't the charm when it comes to cutie marks. "Help me." Ah, she's got the body of a fly, then! Applejack tries to help, but no go. Applejack goes to Twilight for help, but Twilight's got nothing either. Spike finds the right book and gets proper praise for it.
Twilight looks through it, finding the cutie pox! It afflicted a population of ponies during the Paleo-Pony Period. Spike says to sya it ten times fast and Twilight bucks him off. I slap Twilight upside the head for that. Random cutie marks appeared, and the ponies couldn't stop themselves. Even worse, no known cure. The pox appeared and then disappeared, probably by the afflicted simply dropping dead due to exhaustion! And Apple Bloom gets a fleur-de-lis. Oh, no! She'll hang all over Fancy Pants! She even speaks what I believe to be French. Applejack calls it 'Fancy'. And I do not see that as the Equestrian name of the language, for the record. Applejack's panicky, and Twilight realizes she needs Zecora for this! Applejack gets a... semi-skeevy smirk when she says 'Zecora' there. Just odd, there.
They gallop to get her, Spike again on Twilight's back. Spike, don't joke or she'll hurt you again! Apple Bloom is far behind, and gets another cutie mark. She's Michelangelo, and not the Turtle. And another, and she's Bert from Mary Poppins. Then another and She's... Cheese Sandwich? Next, lion-taming. Dang, I should've used one of my lion-mode Transformers for the pic this time! Ah, well. Then she's Gary Kasparov, D'Artagnan, and the Flower Trio begin to freak out. Spike... says she's not cursed. She's got a mysterious disease called cutie pox. Spike... you just re-earned that bucking off! The town panics, as it's wont to do, and evacuates. And a tumbleweed rolls by, natch.
Zecora shows up and... thinks it's her. Aww. *Hugs* That's pretty sad and kinda hits you. Twilight tells her about the cutie pox as Apple Bloom turns into Albert Einstein. Applejack says magically she's her... and asks if her zebra sense was tingling. Ho, boy. Nope. She thought she had enough flowers for all her potions, but after Apple Bloom had left she found her inventory lacking. Apple Bloom begins washing windows. She is... ze Viper! And ponies have hazmat suits? Zecora's got the cure, the Seeds of Truth. They'll grow if the truth's told to them. "True and pure." And with this close-up we realize Zecora knows Apple Bloom took the flower.
Applejack plants them while Apple Bloom becomes the Tasmanian Devil. Pinkie says she ate three corn cakes instead of two, and that's... kinda wrong, but not quite terrible. No, six corn cakes. She cries for it to stop! No, Pinkie. It won't stop. Hey, townsfolk? Might wanna at least try! Apple Bloom finally gives in and says the marks are all fake and she used the Heart's Desire. And the Seeds bloom. Apple Bloom eats it, and the marks disappear. The CMC ask if she's alright, and she is! YAY! She apologizes for lying, and is forgiven. Aww. Twilight gets a really weird look on her face as she asks Apple Bloom to write to Celestia about this. So we get the letter and lesson, and it's a good one about honesty and not lying. She's learned that good things come to those who wait, and of course, she's waited long enough. Cue sad trombone! Off to earn their cutie marks! They go to talk to Zecora about a potion-making cutie mark, and end credits.
I really like this episode. Good focus on Apple Bloom, here. She really shined. A good lesson, too. And even better, it fit and flowed organically from the episode itself. Always good to see Zecora, too. I really do like the relationship she's got with Apple Bloom, which makes sense, since she was the first one to try and be friends with the zebra. Her speech patterns are still hard to write, though. ;)
I also love the Apple Family, here. Applejack... might be my favorite of the Mane Six. I really don't know. She loves her family, she knows where she wants to be, she's simple. But simple isn't a bad thing, mind. Lemme give you an example. I own the Leader-class toys of Optimus Prime from the 2007 movie and the 2009 movie. The first one is less screen-accurate, and the transformation is simpler. But I can pick it up, play with it, transform it and have fun with it. The second one's transformation is effin' RIDICULOUS and leaves me genuinely frustrated. I've managed it once. I still play with the 2007 version. The 2009 version... I am thinking of selling. Applejack is the 2007 version.
The bowling scene was funny. It hit some standard sitcom scenes in alleys, but it was good. I loved the Crusaders sticking by Apple Bloom and being happy for her when she got her cutie mark. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon suck. And in other news, the sun rises in the east, water is wet and Snake-Eyes is badass.
I think that's about it for this one. Tomorrow hopefully ends disc one of my season-two boxed set!