Some might think Twilight Velvet is the luckiest mother in the world. Yet she hasn't seen her daughter since her little girl was crowned princess. Velvet isn't even royalty herself. How can she be a mother to someone so radically different? So far away? So unreal?

Worse, it's now Mare's Day - a day for celebrating motherhood - and the situation is so bizarre that Velvet is in the odd position of having to go visit her little princess in Ponyville, by appointment, to bring the flowers that Twilight will then give back to her as a Mare's Day gift.

Twilight Sparkle's mother, they call her. Always and always. Princess this and princess that. Wouldn't it just be nice if someone looked at her life from any angle other than "Twilight Sparkle's mother"? For a day, at least. A few hours. Anything.

So who should she stumble across in Ponyville but the oddest and most extraordinary mother of all: Derpy, a mail mare capable of looking from all kinds of angles indeed. Sometimes in ways other ponies can scarcely imagine...

Written for the May 2020 Pairing Contest. Full details can also be found here.

Everyone knows the classic tale: the Three Bears leave to let their porridge cool, the naive little filly Goldilocks comes in, she does porridge. Hijinks, as the saying goes, shall thus ensue.

Dinky's got a little more behind her "re-imagining" than that, though. Her mind stands trial. Can she outwit the grim judge (big sister Amethyst)? Can she appeal to the all-loving jury (Derpy, walking disaster zone and friend of insurance sellers everywhere)?

Or will she find the chair to be much too hot? And not "just right" at all?

Economic Fact of Life #1: A pony in Equestria should always check their own name before applying for a job.

Economic Fact of Life #2: You will successfully not die if you refrain from mentioning Ooh La La in Filthy Rich's face.

Economic Fact of Life #3: Movies are the opium of the working class.

Economic Fact of Life #4: You cannot solve all your financial problems with carrot cake.

Economic Fact of Life #5: Finding a good job is haaarrrd. But...

Economic Fact of Life #6: ...sometimes you get one by pure, blind luck.

If the soul is a private garden, then Wallflower's is full of choking weeds and abandoned trash. Thankfully, she's clearing it out now, with help from her friend Derpy in the gardening club.

Yet something lurks below the soil, waiting for its chance.

Wallflower wants to bury it, but she's scared. What if it can't be killed at all? There must be another way. A better way to keep a garden pure...

Golden Harvest very much likes to think of herself as the sensible mare of the earth. She's certainly not one for breaking a perfectly good daily routine: give Dinky a hot meal, take care of the carrots, try to remember when she last had lunch...

Unfortunately, it's Nightmare Night coming up, and she's going through one of the least productive (and therefore least profitable) months of the year. So of course Derpy takes the chance to ask her for help with something she should've done last week. And yes, she does need it ready for tonight, and no, she has no idea how to actually go about it.

However, Derpy is a mare on a mission, a pony with a plan. And there's nothing more terrifying than that, even on Nightmare Night.

This story is a sequel to Impossible Numbers' Flashfic Anthology, Volume Two

Careless talk costs life lessons, as Amethyst finds out when confronted with the insatiably curious mind of Dinky.

Genres: Comedy, Slice of Life
Prompt: "The Most Important Things"
Original Source: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212112/flashfic/thread/368072/closed-flashfic-150-august-2018-the-most-important-things#comment/6531432

Fluttershy takes dedication of her animal friends to a whole new realm. A posthumous one, to be precise. Rainbow Dash is curious enough to find out more.

Genres: Drama, Slice of Life
Prompt: "Dead or Alive"
Original Source: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212112/flashfic/thread/375831/closed-flashfic-150-october-2018-dead-or-alive#comment/6607215

Take the Cutie Mark Crusaders, add a broken cookie jar, and what do you get? A headache, as Applejack inevitably finds out.

Genres: Comedy, Slice of Life
Prompt: "I Didn't Do It!"
Original Source: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212112/flashfic/thread/383925/flashfic-150-december-2018-i-didnt-do-it#comment/6689983

Fluttershy knows that sometimes, you learn the secret of flash bee diplomacy from ancient legends and patient detective work. Rainbow Dash knows that sometimes, you just wing it.

Genres: Comedy
Prompt: "Honesty Ain't the Best Policy"
Original Source: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212112/flashfic/thread/387339/flashfic-150-january-2019-honesty-aint-the-best-policy#comment/6730141

Zecora receives a rude awakening when a midnight thief decides to dig up some ancient history.

Genres: Drama
Prompt: "Hidden Motives"
Original Source: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212112/flashfic/thread/390888/flashfic-150-february-2019-hidden-motives#comment/6754980

Octavia Melody finds herself in the unexpected position of convincing Lyra Heartstrings of the existence of mixed genres, such as Dubstep Cello. It requires a most unorthodox detour through past seasons.

Genres: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Prompt: "I Was Blind, (But Now I See)"
Original Source: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212112/flashfic/thread/394488/flashfic-150-march-2019-i-was-blind-but-now-i-see#comment/6782038

The no-nonsense, highly organized Amethyst has to come to terms with an uncomfortable fact: this bumbling, chaotic, well-intentioned pegasus has had a far more interesting life than hers.

Genres: Slice of Life
Prompt: "The Last Thing on the List"
Original Source: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212112/flashfic/thread/397877/flashfic-150-april-2019-the-last-thing-on-the-list#comment/6829897

Usually not one for tacky clothing or far-out ideas, Rarity nonetheless fulfils a generous if somewhat embarrassing dressmaking commission to please Derpy Hooves.

Unfortunately for her, a generous act can have... strange and unexpected consequences, especially when poor, simple, over-the-moon-grateful Derpy insists on repaying the kind deed.

Of course, Rarity will take it all in stride. And so will everyone else. It's only fashion, after all. No one ever gets silly or over-the-top about that, right?

Impossible Numbers' entry for The Obselescence Memorial Jinglemas Twinglemas Secret Santa Sendoff: Part 2 Edition!

My specific prompt from DragonGeek: tagged "Rarity", tagged "Derpy Hooves", rated "Everyone", no romance.

Derpy's deluded house, a super way to spice up a marriage, and two friends stepping out of the party for a breather. Yes! These are entries one, two, and three of Blue Chameleon VI's Writeoff Contestants for the Prompt: "Keep Pretending"

Help! My House Thinks It's a Castle!
Derpy, Twilight Sparkle
Random, Slice of Life

Villainy Ain't a Piece of Cake
Mr Cake, Mrs Cake, Mane-iac
Comedy, Drama, Slice of Life

The Party That Never Starts (For Me)
Amethyst Star (Sparkler), Lyra Heartstrings
Drama, Slice of Life

Dinky the Discoverer gets it into her head that the world needs a scientific study of cuddling, embracing, snuggling, and all that good wholesome stuff that makes life truly worth living.

Unfortunately for Golden Harvest, who needs the time to prepare for an important festival, this isn't a joke. Fortunately for Derpy, this is a golden opportunity to prove she's not a joke.

With all the silly little conflicts going on, Golden Harvest can't offer much in the way of guidance, much as she'd like to. (Nor can Derpy, though for more conventional reasons). Still, Dinky's not a quitter. She will rise up and face the call of duty.

The trick, of course, is to hear it over all this shouting...

Inspired by, but not a contestant for, CategoricalGrant's CuddleFic Contest.

Please Note: This is a story in progress. The Science of Hugging is currently being written for National Pony Writing Month 2017. Final version may be very different.

Some ponies start off a long way along the racetrack before the flag is waved.

Some ponies will trip over their own hooves and sprain their ankles on the first lap.

Some ponies get the best teammates to mop their brows and to hold umbrellas over their heads when it rains.

Some ponies don't even want to race. Not when they can have a nice, pleasant jaunt that involves much less sweating.

And some ponies will see, along the way, the truth behind the race. What it's for. Who's taking part. Why they're doing it.

For at the end of the track, everyone gets the same prize. Hearth's Warming welcomes all, whether they come in first or second or even last. The point isn't to win the shiniest medal or to beat the record or to prove who's the greatest racer; it's to make it in time for the celebration. The race is just one more thing to talk about, in a world that's often running faster while forgetting which direction to go.

Originally designed as an entry for The Obselescence Memorial Jinglemas Twinglemas Secret Santa Sendoff: Part 2 Edition!

Uses the same specific prompt from DragonGeek: tagged "Rarity", tagged "Derpy Hooves", rated "Everyone", no romance.