After well over two years of a nightmarish, downward spiral into the depths of autism in which I went on a journey of self-loathing and coping with the ultimate futility of it all, things are finally starting to look up. That's right, you pitiful, wingless grubs, I think I might finally be ready to move on. This is not a choice I can make consciously, as, despite my intense hatred for this fandom, my brain has been full of ponies all this time. Sure I'm still an awful waste of valuable carbon,

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Today one of my Farquaad co-workers said something bad about Shrek, "Shrek sucks," he said. I told him he'd better check himself, and that he's a Shrekless heretic. Not ten seconds later, Shrek answered my prayers, and he accidentally knocked over a bunch of boxes and had to pick them all back up. I told him he just Shreked himself, and that it'll all be ogre soon.
"Shrek is love," I said, "Shrek is life."

I think we all foresaw this. A little surprised and disappointed I didn't even get banned...
Fuck, now I have to write more ponies.

My name got cock-blocked.

It's seriously been nearly a year since I wrote the last chapter... Wow.
You guys should totally read it so I don't feel bad about having wasted my time and take another year to add the next chapter!

Also, I finally added some swank-ass cover art. I worked really hard on it...

I wrote Parqua a wholesome fanfiction. You guys should read it, then follow Parqua because I like to follow along with all trends started by Queue.

Phase 1 complete

How unique, since I totally don't write a thing like every week!
Read it anyway, and despair.
Ordinary-Human Fanfiction

This is Chaz the Hedgehog, my original character, please don't steal :DDDDD. He is runs rally fast and also fights each robot. He has a girlfriend, Amy, and they will get pregnant one day but for now he has to save the world :3

Chaz's parents told him not to smoke before they died but he never listened so now he smokes anyway.

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