After a freak accident, Simon Lane and Lewis Brindley are transported to Equestria
After a freak power surge while recording an episode of "Sunshine of Israpony", Simon Lane and Lewis Brindley are teleported to Equestria. Declared dead IRL, and with no way to contact Earth, they are trapped in this magical land, FOREVER.
I am Davette! Yognau(gh)t Salute/ brohoof to all Yogbronies.
Lewis leaned back and stretched. The recording had been paused so he and his friends could take a break from the game. Simon was having a cigarette, and Hannah had logged off, complaining of a headache. She walked behind his chair and kissed him goodnight. "Don't be too long, Lewis." She whispered, than walked towards the room they shared and climbed into bed. Lewis looked after her, then back to the screen.
Simon was giggling, then in his best Hannah impression ever, "Don't be toooo long, Lewis!" Lewis and he promptly burst into a fit of laughter, illiciting a remark from Hannah about shutting the fuck up, because normal people need sleep. This made the pair laugh even harder. Lewis removed his glasses and wiped his eyes, which were wet with tears of laughter. Simon stubbed out his cigarette and resumed the recording. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed outside the windows of Lewis's flat, making him shake slightly.
"Damn," he swore, "Gonna have to edit that out." he was upset at the prospect of more editing.
"No no, Lewis, it gives an element of scaaaaaaaaryness! This will be the Halloween special minecraft episode!" Simon was excited at the thought of yet another Halloween themed programme.
"Simon, its January. No more Halloween shit, we already made halloween episodes for everything when it was actually Halloween. Remember, in October?" Lewis was still sick of Halloween specials, with the Yogpod Spacktacular, Shadow of Israphel Spacktacular etc.
"Ya, but we didn't do Sunshine of Israpony!" SImon had immensly enjoyed that mod.
"That series was discontinued." Lewis had not enjoyed it, as it was pretty much tekkit, but with ponies.
"I still have the mod. Come on, pal. Lets play with ponies!"
As Lewis usually does, he gave in to Simon's nagging, begging and whining, and started the server with the pony mod. The storm continued outside, but strangly, a storm began outside of Simon's apartment as well. The lightning flashes and crashes of thunder seemed almost... syncronized. A bright flash of lightning could be seen through Lewis's window, and Simon could hear the thunder through his. Simon got scared, quickly. "Lewis, maybe we should log-" But his sentence was cut off by a extra bright bolt of lightning hitting his building. Simon's window on Lewis's computer went dark.
"Simon? SIMON!!! SI-" A second bolt hit Lewis's flat seconds later.
Hannah bolted upright at the explosion that rocked the apartment. She ran into the other room and found the terrible scene. The computer was absolutely destroyed, shards of glass and metal were everywhere, and a small fire had started on the top of the monitor. But what shocked her and terrified her was what had happened to Lewis. She fell to the ground beside him, her hands covering her mouth in shock and disbelief. Lewis was on the ground, flat on his back. She felt his chest and tried to find a heartbeat. There was none. In another part of the country, the Asian couple who lived next to Simon investigated the noise, and found him, also on the floor, with no heartbeat. The Yogscast was dead.
Lewis covered his head and groaned. He felt very ill. A bright light flooded his eyes, and a buzzing filled his ears. He felt sick to his stomach and could hear the moans of another. He tried to stand, but crumbled to the floor and passed out again. Where ever he was, he didn't think it was England.
His eyes flashed open, and he discovered he was lying on his back. His throat burned with thirst, and he though he would expire beffore quenching it. He rolled over and tried to stand, but found that he couldn't. He appeared to be lying on a patch of dampened dirt. He looked around and found himself in a pastel paradise. Birds could be heard singing, and the trees were dotted with flowers. This defineatly wasn't England... He crawled as best as he could, and found himself a puddle. He drank of it, neverminding that it was muddy, probably contaminated, and in the middle of the road. He stopped when his throat no longer ached, and looked at his reflection. He stared in shock at what he assumed to be him. Where there was once a young(ish) human male, with a stubbly beard and glasses, there was now a red horse, with a... He felt what used to be his chin. A goatee. His coat was red and he had a black mane and tail. He thought he saw something in his mane, and pawed at his hair, upon which he found- "A HORN!?!?!" He yelped and looked at it, poking and prodding it to make sure it was real. He then spun about, trying to look at himself. During his spinning, he noticed his flank, which was adorned with a small communicator symbol. "Really?" he asked to no one in particular. "My special talent is Star Trek?" He was bowled over by an orange ball of fur and feathers.
"LEWIS!" it shrieked, "SOMETHING MAGICAL HAS HAPPENED!!!"
Lewis jumped up as best as he could and tried to protect himself from the orange blur. "Who the hay are you?" He paused, wondering what he had just said. The orange ball also looked confused.
"Its me!" it exclaimed, "Simon!"
"Simon? But how did you- How did we- WHAT THE BUCK IS HAPPENING!?!?" Lewis was confused, scared and annoyed.
"What did you say Lewis? What the buck is happening? That doesn't make any bucking sense." Simon covered his mouth with his hooves. "Something weird is going on..."
"There must be some sort of censorship or something that replaces our words with less vulgar ones, suited for this realm." Lewis stated this as if it were the most obvious thing ever.
"Oh." Simon looked to the side and remembered what he was going to say earlier. "LEWIS!" he shouted, "Look, wings!" he then flew into the air and let his wings do their thing. As Simon flew, Lewis noticed something about him.
"Simon, whats that on your flank?"
Simon looked behind him in mid air and immediately plummeted to the ground in shock and awe. Lewis covered his eyes, but got a weird headachey feeling. He opened his eyes and saw Simon floating a few inches off the ground, upside down and staring at his flank, immersed in a reddish glow. The same glow was emanting from Lewis's horn. Lewis promptly let go of him and Simon fell to the ground. Lewis walked over to him as quickly and carefully as he could without tripping. He looked at Simon, who was still looking at his flank, and the brown circle that adorned it. He actually had tears in his eyes, tears of happiness. "A jaffa cake... I have a jaffa cake for a cutie mark... The most delicious of cakes is depicted on my behind..." He suddenly rocketed into the air, a bright orange blur. "A JAFFA CAKE!!!" He yelled from high in the air. He dove back to the ground and pulled a perfect landing. "A JAFFA CAKE!" he yelled again, this time directly into Lewis's ear. "DID YA HEAR ME LEWIS?!? A JAF-" The rest of the sentence was delivered to the inside of Lewis's hoof, as it was placed over Simon's mouth to silence him.
Lewis removed his hoof from from Simon's mouth, and took a step back. He looked at Simon.
"A jaffa cake" Simon whispered, then giggled and bounced in a circle. Lewis shook his head and started walking. He didn't know where, he didn't know why, but he had to get the hang of walking as a pony. He walked along the road, and Simon flew alongside him, occasionally doing a backflip or frontflip mid-air. "So where are we going, Lewis?" Simon was just as scared and confused as Lewis was, but he tried to make the best of the situation.
"I don't know Simon. I want to find a town, find some people, find a way to contact Hannah, find a way back to England. Anything that can help us." Lewis didn't look at Simon as he talked, as he was staring at his hooves so as not to trip over rocks or step in holes. Simon thought about what Lewis had said.
"What if there are people. Humans. But we're ponies, and humans can't understand ponies. We can understand eachother because we're both ponies, but we couldn't understand ponies. well, I couldn't, and you never mentioned being able to talk to horses, did you?" Simon was trying to cheer Lewis up, trying to make him smile, laugh, anything other than the troubled expression that he currently had.
Lewis spun around suddenly and turned on Simon, pushing him with his head. "This is one big joke to you isn't it? We are trapped in a strange place, we are currently not human, we are horses for bucks sakes! Do you not understand?!? HORSES! LITTLE COLORFUL HORSES WITH WINGS AND HORNS AND CUTIE MARKS! YOU ARE AN APPLEBUCKING PEGASUS!!! YOU HAVE A BISCUIT ON YOUR ASS!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK GINGER SKULL THAT THIS IS NOT FUNNY!!!" Lewis was seething with rage and screaming at Simon, who had curled into a ball and was staring into the previously brown eyes, which were now ignite with red flames. A tear rolled down his cheek as he tried to find words to make it better. He found one.
"Cake." he whispered.
lewis had turned around again and was walking away from him, but he stopped. "What?" Simon stood up and tried to look strong.
"Jaffas are cakes, not biscuits." He immediately knew he had said the wrong thing.
"Nopony bucking cares Simon. Nopony..." And with that, Lewis walked away, his head hung in shame, sadness and anger.
In another part of the universe, Hannah was kneeling over what used to be Lewis, crying and wailing. The neighbors had heard the explosion, wailing and screaming, and had called the police, ambulance, and upon seeing that the curtain had been set aflame by the fire atop the monitor, the fire brigade. Hannah wouldn't let them take him away. He couldn't be dead, he just couldn't, but he was. The paramedics had pronounced him so, and were trying to zip him into a bodybag. The paramedic looked to a police officer, who nodded and grabbed Hannah's arms and dragged her away from Lewis's corpse, kicking, screaming and crying.
Simon trotted after Lewis in stunned silence. For each of Lewis's steps, Simon had to take 2, as he was about 3 hands shorter than Lewis. The two walked along without speaking for some time, until they could see a settlement ahead. A town of sorts, and colorful beings could be seen flying above. Lewis looked to Simon, knowing that what he had said earlier had been true, including the part about Jaffas being cakes. "Simon," he said. His voic was hushed, and he spoke softly. "Simon, I'm so very sorry I yelled at you. I-" But this time it was Simon who put his hoof over Lewis's mouth and smiled.
"No problem, pal." Simon winked, and the pair raced towards the villiage, Lewis loping and Simon flying. They entered the town, and discovered to their mixed emotions, a town filled with ponies. Unicorns, pegasi and regular ponies alike. There were even normal animals, like bunnies, birds, dogs and cats. And the ponies seemed to have shops, stores, some were even wearing clothing! The two looked at their surroundings with awe, but in their staring, they didn't see where they were going. The abruptly crashed into a brown pony, and almost fell on his family as well, a purple and yellow unicorn and a grey and yellow pegasus. "OOOF! Sorry chap, I didn't see you there, are you alright?" Simon asked.
"Yes, I'm fine." The stallion stood up and brushed himself off. He had a green tie, and a white collar, which was not attached to a shirt.
"Mind telling us where we are there, mate? We're a bit lost." Lewis politely asked him. He really didn't want to piss anypony off.
"Sure can, this is Equestria, the land of Ponies!" The strange stallion said with joy. Lewis and Simon both paled at this, and turned to eachother in shock.
"Equestria? Land of... Ponies?" Simon said shakily. The stallion looked at them strangely.
'You two aren't from here, where did you come from?" The stallion was confused by all of this.
"We're from England. Do you know where that is? It's very important that we get back. We have people who may be looking for us." Lewis was grasping at straws, he needed to find a way to home, to his life, to Hannah.
The brown stallion was the one who was pale. The little purple unicorn next to him tugged on his tail and said in a sweet voice, "England, isn't that where you said you were from, Daddy?" Simon and Lewis's eyes widened.
The stallion smiled at his daughter and looked to Simon and Lewis. "Yes Dinky, that is where Daddy was from. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Doctor."
"The Doctor, doctor who?" Simon was confused for a moment, and his expression was puzzled, but as the realization swept over him, his eyes widened in disbelief. "Thats just it. The doctor. Doctor Who. The- The Doctor is a pony..." Simon immediately fainted in shock and awe, while Lewis remained standing, but was just as amazed as Simon. The Doctor looked down at Simon in worry. "Ummm... Will he be alright? I'm very sorry, is there anything we can do?" He hoped the orange pegasus was okay, he wasn't that kind of Doctor.
Lewis levitated Simon onto his back, concentrating and letting the magic do what it did magically. Simon wasn't very heavy, a bit chubby for his size, but not heavy. He nodded to the Doctor and they started walking, to where, Lewis had no idea. He followed the brown stallion and family into a house, where they had a couch to place Simon on. After removing Simon from his back and leaving him to rest for a while, Lewis explored the house and found the kitchen, where the Doctor and a pony who was apparently his wife were sitting at a table drinking a steaming liquid and eating muffins. Lewis sat with them and was passed a muffin, which proved tasty yet cartoonish. He looked up to thank the mare for the delicious muffin, but was taken aback when he realized her amber eyes were swiveling randomly in their sockets. He immediately tried to cover his shock, but she saw his reaction and laughed a beautiful, musical laugh. "My eyes go derpy sometimes, thats how I got my name, Derpy Hooves." Lewis sighed, glad he hadn't offended the mare who had welcomed him into his home.
"So, how do we get back to England?" He asked the Doctor. He and Derpy looked a bit embarassed. Lewis realized with despair. "There is no way to England, is there..." The pair stared into their drinks and shook their heads, and Lewis was crushed. His head dropped to the table with a thump, and soft sobbing could be heard from within the walls he had made with his forelegs. He looked up with tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat. "If theres no way home, then, that means we're stuck here, forever?"
"Who's stuck where forever?" Simon had regained conciousness after his star-stunned state. He saw Lewis's tears and the expressions of Derpy and the Doctor. "Oh," he said with sudden realization, "It's us..."
A full day had passed in England, although to Simon and Lewis it was only a few hours. Hannah sat, shocked, at the table in the kitchen of the flat she had shared with Lewis, a cup of coffee and a muffin, banana, with little chocolate chips in it. She picked tastelessly at the muffin, which her friends had sent her a basket of. She sipped the coffee, and winced at the bitter taste. she didn't bother putting in sugar or cream, she wanted to stay awake. She listened to the voice mail play over and over, all these people who were apparently "so sorry for her loss, her boyfriend and best friend in the same night." She just wanted him back. She heard a buzzer go off, indicating someone wanted to come inside. She ignored it, as it was probably just another well wisher or over dramatic person who wanted to make it about them. She heard a voice come over the speaker in the hall, but couldn't hear who it was or what it said. Honestly, she didn't care. She drank the last of the dark, bitter liquid that was at the bottom of her cup, then put it in the sink. She looked at the cabinet above the fridge, where they... she kept the alcohal. "Drinking won't bring him back, Hannah." She said aloud, and walked towards her room. She lay on the bed she had shared with him. She couldn't even bring herself to say his name now, it hurt too much. She stared at the ceiling and thought about what she was supposed to do now. She tried to sleep, but couldn't. The mixture of caffiene, stress and loneliness kept her awake. She sat up and walked back into the kitchen. She looked up at the cabinet, and tried to remember what was in it. Scotch, red wine, some vodka, and a bottle of tequila. She reached up and grabbed all four bottles. She grabbed a tumbler from the cupboard and some ice cubes from the freezer. She was going to try to remember everything about him, everything they had ever done, then she would try to forget.
Lewis was devastated that there was no way to contact Hannah, no way home, and that they were stuck in a word filled with colorful ponies. Simon was upset as well, but didn't show it. "I can't believe we get to be ponies for the rest of our lives! Isn't this exciting Lewis? Lewis?" He looked to his friend and saw Lewis looking at the ground in despair. "Come on pal, lets go do something!" Lewis looked up and saw Simon's overly cheerful face, and that made him crack a smile.
"Yes, Lets!" and with that, they were off. "Um, Simon. Where exactly are we going?" Lewis really didn't have any ideas as to what they should do, and he didn't think Simon did either.
Simon stopped and looked off into space, pondering what they should do. He chose a logical idea, for once. "If we really are stuck here forever, we're going to need a place to live, and I don't think that the Whooves are going to let us stay with them for forever. and if we do need to find a house, we're going to need money, assuming that the ponies have currency, and to get money, we're going to need jobs. So we should get some jobs! Or atleast find some money." Simon looked arounf the town, at the different shops. "There must be somewhere that needs a few new employees." And with that, he trotted down the street, leaving Lewis standing in the middle of the road.
Lewis could see a pony trot along, a yellow pegasus mare with a pink mane and tail. She had a wagon behind her, and a bunny on her back. She stopped suddenly, unaware that he was looking at her, and reached behind her with her face. She touched her mouth to her rump, just ahead of the cutie mark, which was three pink butterflies, and suddenly she held a small brown bag in her mouth. Lewis blinked, and wondered if the bag had been there before. He walked up to the mare and decided to ask her how she had done it. "Excuse me, Miss?" He asked quietly and clearly.
"EEEEEEEEKK!!!" the mare screamed quietly, and rocketed into the air, taking the wagon with her, and hid in a tree. But the wagon's weight proved too much, and she fell from her hiding spot. Lewis raced over to see if she was alright, but found her covering her face with her hooves, trying to... hide from him?
"Miss, are you alright? I just wanted to ask you something." Lewis looked at the shy mare, wondering what was wrong with her.
"Oh... It's just that... you, um... scared me..." The mare whispered. She stood up and straightened her mane. "I'm Fluttershy. What was it you'd like to ask?" She looked at the strange unicorn stallion. She didn't think she had ever seen him before.
"I'm Lewis. I was just wondering how you got that bag? You reached behind you and suddenly it was in your mouth. I was just wondering how you did it." Lewis stared at her flank, wanting to know her secrets.
Fluttershy looked to her flank and put her mouth to it. She pulled it back and suddenly grasped a notebook between her teeth. She spat the notebook onto the ground and looked back to Lewis. "Pockets."
Lewis looked astounded. "Thank you so much, Miss Fluttershy!" And with that, Lewis abruptly put his head to his flank and withdrew a pen. His eyes widened and he stared at Fluttershy. She tried to look surprised so he wouldn't be embarrassed. "Thank you!" He shouted, then ran off in a different direction in search of Simon.
Simon was trotting along the main street when he was suddenly bowled over by a crimson blur. "SIMON!" it shrieked, "CHECK YOUR POCKETS!!!"
"Pockets? What the buck is wrong with you, Lewis?" Why the buck would ponies even have pockets, Simon wondered. Lewis reached behind him and suddenly withdrew a 10 pence piece. Simon's small green eyes widened. "How did you even do that?" Simon tried it as well and clutched a jaffa cake in his mouth. His already wide eyes expanded once more as he viewed the probably last jaffa cake he would ever see, and tears developed as he held it in his hooves. Lewis looked at it and then looked to Simon. Simon fell down onto his rump and stared at the jaffa cake. He broke it in half and passed the other (Smaller) half to Lewis.
"Simon..." Lewis was touched by his friend sharing his last jaffa cake, the very cake that seemed to be his special talent. He sobered quickly and raised his hoof. "To Jaffas!"
Simon wiped a tear from his eye and cheered. "To jaffas..." They promptly devoured the delicious sponge, the smashing orangy bit, and the decadent chocolate.
An hour later, the two ponies were sitting on a patch of grass, surrounded by mundane objects. Pens, coins, paper, gum, lint etc. All of the objects were just meaningless things they had in their pockets when they changed. They took turns pulling thing from their endles magical pockets. Simon would pull out a paper with a server ip address on it, and Lewis would pull out a reciept from Greg's. Simon withdrew a nub of a pencil, and Lewis reached back and cluutched a small, velvet box in his mouth. He dropped it on the ground and stared at it, shocked that it was in his pocket this whole time. Simon grabbed the box with his hooves, and opened it. To his shock, within the dainty box was a ring. A white gold ring encrusted with tiny diamonds in the shape of the pixelated diamond they knew so well. A minecraft themed engagement ring. "Lewis..." Simon breathed. "It's... beautiful. This... this was for Hannah!" He looked up at Lewis, who was beginning to tear up at the sight of the ring he was going to give his soon to be fiancee... Lewis blinked back the stinging moisture, but the tears still rolled down his face. He broke down and wept, and Simon patted him on the back, occasionally whispering encouraging words to his broken hearted friend. "Its going to be alright Lewis, it's going to be fine..." Simon didn't really believe the words he was saying, and neither did Lewis. It certainly was not going to be alright.
Lewis and Simon both stared at the ring, mesmerized by the glinting rainbows that reflected off of it. Lewis held the small hoop of white gold and diamonds in his hoof, it's incredible beauty a reminder of Hannah. A solitary tear rolled down his cheek, he had wept the rest of them away. As he looked at the large white-tinged-with-blue diamond, he saw his reflection in its surface. A crimson unicorn, with messy black hair, brown eyes red with tears, streaks of dried salty tears running down his face. Images formed in his mind. Hannah and himself. If he was here, then who was Lewis in England? Who was running his body? Or was he dead? Was he dead, and Hannah all alone? Or was someone else running his body, living his life, being with Hannah? The thought infuriated him. He glared into the diamond, his eyes developing small flickers of flame at the edges of his irises. His temper fizzeled as he saw the rage in his eyes. He shut the afore-mentioned eyes and another tear rolled down his cheek.
Simon gazed into the diamond that adorned the jewellery, his eyes sparkled almost as much as the diamond did in the sunlight. The evervesant surface glittered and reflected rainbows into the air. The large gemstone was beautiful in every way. He looked up at Lewis, and found many emotions crossing his face. Love, sadness, worry, fury, sadness again. Now he was crying, again. Lewis noticed Simon staring at him and made eye contact. "You Ok pal?"
Lewis turned away, still holding the ring with his magic. He levitated the ring towards Simon, and placed it in his open hoof. "I'm fine. You take it, I don't want to look at it. We need to sell it."
"Sell it? Why would we sell it?" Simon asked increduously.
"We need money to live here, so we need to sell it. We have no need for it, if we really are stuck here forever, we would never see... Ha... her again, and so the ring has no use to me or you. It's worth quite a few thousand pounds, so it might be worth more in this realm. So we need to sell it and get the money and buy a house and get jobs. So we need to sell it." Lewis had winced, and could not bring himself to say Hannah's name.
Simon nodded, placed the ring back into the box, and put the box in his pocket. The pair got up and set out for a shop to sell their treasure to.
"What the buck is this?" Shouted Simon at the pony who was working the counter at the pawn shop. "This ring is worth over five thousand pounds, and you're giving us this?! This tiny bag of coins?!? You've gotta be bucking kidding me!!!" The blue and white pegasus behind the counter winced slightly at the small stallion's language, but the mare's indigo eyes stared him down and assured him that the price was right.
"This is two hundred bits. Take it or leave it." Rock Solid was an expert in diamonds, and she knew the value of this "ring" although it looked too small to be for a pony, even a unicorn. Maybe a unicorn foal. But the red one said it was an engagement ring, so it wouldn't be for a foal. So how could somepony put it over their hoof?
"We'll take it. Thank you for your time, miss." Lewis stated, cutting Simon's protest off. He picked up the small burlap bag with his magic and tucked it into his pocket, then turned and left. Simon glared at the pegasus mare, then muttered a thank you and left.
After looking around and trying to find a place to live. They checked themselves into a small hotel, and seeing that the sun was setting and the moon was rising. They fell onto the separate beds and fell asleep immediately, realizing that they were exhausted after their first day as ponies.
Lewis woke first, sitting up on the single bed in the dark room. He looked over to Simon's sleeping form, the small orange pegasus curled up into a ball, using his wings as blankets. Lewis got up and wrote a note for Simon, then quietly left the motel room, shutting the door carefully behind him so as not to disturb the smaller pegasus. He trotted down the street, looking for signs advertising a need for new employees. The only businesses which advertised such a need were the bakery, library, boutique, a random sandwich board advertising something called "Sweet Apple Acres", and a nondescript building called "The Weather Patrol Headquarters". Lewis entered this building, but was immediately pushed out by a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane, who stated simply, "Pegasi only." before slamming the door in his face. Lewis continued walking, a slight damper put on his journey. Seeing as he could not cook, make clothing (which was largely unused by most ponies. The ponies wore no clothing, other than the occasional pair of glasses, hats, or un attached collar and necktie.), make weather or do farm work, he decided he should check out the library. How hard could it be being a librarian?
Simon woke long after Lewis had left, and gazed around the room, wondering where his friend had gotten off to. Simon saw the bag of bits on the table, and fluttered over to it. She picked up the bit bag, which was a lot lighter than before. Beneath the burlap bag was a small paper, on which a note was written:
Dear Simon, Gone into town, be back soon. Going to look for a job, possibly a house.
~Lewis
Simon looked up and thought about this. If Lewis was looking for a job, he should look for one as well. He left the hotel room, tucking the bit bag into his pocket on his way out. He looked down the main street and saw various signs asking for employees. A bakery, a boutique, a sign for some sort of farm, a library whose proprietor, a purple unicorn, was currently taking down the "hiring" sign, and a building called "weather patrol headqaurters", which had a cyan, rainbow-maned pegasus mare putting a sign out front saying "Pegasi Only". Simon looked behind him, at his wings, as if to confirm his pegasi-ness, then trotted into the building. He was welcomed by other pegasi, mares and stallions alike, who were all putting on goggles and pinnies which were labled "Property of Ponyville Weather Patrol". The rainbow-maned mare came back inside and threw a pinny over Simon's neck, then slapped some goggles onto his head.
"Welcome to the Weather Patrol, I'm Rainbowdash."
"So what makes you think you have what it takes to be a librarian, or my personal assistant? Do you have any formal training in alchemy, sorting books, or the magic of friendship?" The purple unicorn was giving Lewis the full drill. "And what was your name again? Didn't sound like a normal name to me."
"Uh, my name is Lewis. I'm not from here, but I do have a master's in chemistry, and chemistry and alchemy are very close, if you think about it. It can't be that hard to sort books, and I've had friends, so yes." At the mention of his master's degree, Twilight Sparkle, the librarian pony who was also apparently the saviour of the world five times over, perked up and grinned while clapping her hooves together. She began bouncing in a manner that was similar to Simon's jolly bounce, and did so in a circle around Lewis, all the while giggling. "So... am I hired then? Because if I'm not, then I should probably get going..."
"NO! You're hired!" Twilight shouted suddenly. "Fifteen bits an hour, eight hours a day, six days a week. Fifteen times eight, times six.... carry the one... add the three...." Twilight was trying to figure out the math in her head, how much she would owe him at the end of each week.
"Seven hundred and twenty bits." Lewis said, calmly clearly and confidently.
Twilight looked up at him with a huge grin, "And smart too! You are going to be a great asset to our library!"
Footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs above, not hoofsteps, footsteps. "Twilight, I'm bored!" Called a male voice. A small purple and green reptile came down the stairs, yawned, then walked up to Lewis. "You must be the new assistant, I'm Spike." And with that, the creature extended a claw towards him.
Lewis stared at him with shock, then fear came to him. "Is that a... DRAGON?!?!?" Lewis screamed, then backed away from the tiny, yet apparently dangerous creature.
Twilight looked at him strangely, then Spike met her gaze and they stared at eachother for a fleeting moment. The two abruptly fell over with laughter. "Spike is a baby dragon, he won't hurt you!" Twilight managed to gasp, after the tiny beast and her finished laughing. Spike offered his claw once again, and this time, Lewis touched his hoof to it and shook for a moment. He was still cautious about this new creature, but after seeing that he was only a baby, he was less so. Oh well, at least he had a job, and hopefully he wouldn't have to deal with the dragon, who had only saved the world once. Lewis left the library in search of Simon. He was feeling quite peckish, so he decided to check at the bakery, maybe get a scone or something.
Lewis entered the bakery to see Simon clad in a chef's hat and apron shaking hooves with a pink pony with a puffed up mane and tail. "I see you've gotten a job, Simon." Lewis said, getting Simon's attention.
"Lewis!" Simon yelped with joy, and launched himself at the red unicorn. "I'm a baker! Look! I made a jaffa!" and the pegasus shoved a yellow and brown gob of something into Lewis's mouth. The familiar flavor alerted Lewis that he had succedded in creating the delectable cake, but on a larger scale. The pink pony was also eating a slice of the jaffa, and grinning. "Do you like it Lewis? Do you? Do you?" Simon asked hopefully.
Hannah looked at the bottles on the table. She had finished the wine and tequila, now the vodka and scotch. She drained her glass of the scotch she had poured, and it still burned her throat. Her face was wet with tears. Tears of sadness from missing him, laughter, from thinking of their best memories. Pain, from the liquid burning her throat. She poured more amber liquid into the tumbler, the ice cubes long gone, melted from hours of sitting and being immersed in various alcohals. She sipped the drink and gazed around the room, the alcohal in her system clouding her vision. Her life, their life, was over, she had nothing left. It had been two weeks, but it still felt like yesterday. It still felt like he was there, with her, in the room. She turned around, but there was nothing there. Nothing. She drained the glass once more and stood up shakily, then nearly fell. She caught herself by grabbing the edge of the table to steady herself, then started giggling. She giggled until she began to cry tears of laughter, then the pain kicked in, and so did the sobs. She slid down to the kitchen floor, still clutching the empty glass, crying on the linolium floor. She became angry with herself, and threw the glass at the nearby wall, where it shattered into millions of tiny, crystalline fragments. She stood up once more, cutting her hand on some shattered glass, but disregarded it, and continued her journey. She walked into her tiny computer room and sat down, turning the computer on and logging in. Her password was an easy one, owls, and she turned on the webcam. "Hello, yognaut peoples!" She cried, "Welcome to a very special yogscast episode. As you all should know, Lewis and Simon DIED, so I'm doing this." She reached for her drink, then remembered that she had finished it, and had thrown the glass against the wall. She giggled profusely, then fell over laughing. She fell off her chair, but picked herself up. She laughed once again, and tapped random keys on the keyboard. She spun in the chair and fell over once again, knocking her head on the floor and passing out.
Lewis carefully chewed the alien object in his mouth. It tasted a bit like jaffa, but not quite. Simon offered the rest of a large cake, yellow sponge, a thin layer of what appeared to be some sort of marmalade (to substitute the smashing orangy bit) all covered in a generous layer of milk chocolate. Lewis politely turned it down and swallowed the confection. "Isn't it good?" asked the pink mare, who appeared to be an employee. "He called it a 'Jaffa Cake'! Thats the second funniest word I've ever heard! Jaffa jaffa jaffa jaffa! Oooh, what if I made it into a song with other words?!? A waffa joffa jiffa jaffa waffa joffa jiffa jaffa wa-" But this strange mare was cut off by Simon placing his hoof over her mouth, and smiling awkwardly at Lewis.
"Lewis, this is my boss Pinkie Pie. She lives in the apartment upstairs. She would like to hire you as well!" Simon looked delighted at getting to work with his friend, but Lewis quickly shot down that idea by explaining he already had a job working at the library.
"You mean Twilight hired you! Twilights my best friend!!! Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Pinkie Pie began bouncing and giggling.
"Why are you so happy about that? This means that you can't hire Lewis." Simon questioned. At this revelation, Pinkie abruptly stopped bouncing and stared at Simon oddly. "I'll just get back to work..." Simon sighed, then limped back to the kitchen, still holding the Jaffa Cake in his hoof.
Simon and Lewis trotted back to the motel room which was serving as a temporary home until a suitable replacement could be found. Simon talked about how he had signed up for the Weather Patrol, the organization which had so rudely kicked Lewis simply because he was not a pegasus. Simon claimed that they offered to build him a cloud house, a simple thing, just a few rooms made of cloud matter, and with pegasi magic, he could apparently walk on clouds. (Lewis shot down this as well by stating the obvious fact that he could not fly.) He demonstrated that new ability by grabbing a cloud, bringing it closer to the ground and then sitting on it and talking nonstop about Celestia knows what. Lewis managed to distract him and cease his incessant talking by asking him to demonstrate how fast he could clear the sky around him. "Rainbowdash said we should all be able to do it in eleven seconds flat, since ten seconds is reserved for her for 'copyright reasons' what ever that means." And Simon demonstrated how much he was learning by clearing the sky in twelve seconds.
Lewis levitated the books and slowly revolved them around him, the reddish aura surrounding them was getting stronger. He had to organize the shelves once a week, and Twilight was giving him magic lessons during his breaks and slow days. He was starting to like his new boss, and being a librarian's assistant was a lot easier than scientific journalism. He placed a pile of "Daring Doo" mini novels in the correct shelf, but one of the occupants of the library was just picking them back up and re-reading them. He looked at the cyan mare who's eyes were going back and forth along the pages rather slowly, her lips mumbling the words as she read. Occasionally she would stop and ask Lewis what a word meant. When she would finish one of the short adventures of everypony's favorite escape artist, she would casually throw it to nthe side and pick up another. Her tosses varied in force and speed, but she always seemed to have a target. The back of Lewis's head. Lewis was concentrating with all his might at properly putting the books away. If Twilight Sparkle found even one book out of place, Lewis would have to start over, even the books that hadn't been taken down. Suddenly his view was the ground as he fell forward. He looked up to see a Daring Doo novel lying next to him, and turned to Rainbowdash, who was reading the same book she had had when he last looked at her. Raimbowdash looked up fleetingly but looked back down to the book almost immediately, a grin crossing her light blue face. Lewis sighed and levitated the books once more, hoping for less distractions.
Simon's day at Sugarcube Corner was more eventful. The cream and orange pegasus was covered in orangy foam. He had made an orange mousse concoction to use as smashing orangy bit, but the mixer he had been sing had positively exploded, sending the fluffy orangy confection flying onto the floor, himself and Pinkie Pie. Pinkie stared at him for a moment, then they both fell onto the sticky floorpositively howling with laughter. Pinkie was a bit bigger than Simon, buthe didn't mind. He as starting to like this mare on a genuine level. He trusted her completely, but didn't know the customs of this land. He was going to ask if she wanted to get din- But his fantasizing was cut off by a ball of the orange desert being flung at his face. He spluttered and licked the confwection from his face, looking up, he could see Pinkie whistling innocently, a blob of orange adorning the hoof that she casually licked. Simon's eyes narrowed, if it was a mousse fight she wanted, it was a mousse fight she would get. He hurled himself at the pink party pony, but she was too quick, and hit him with another glob of orange mousse. Simon tumbled into Pinkie Pie, and the rolled in the foam, laughing until they cried, play fighting and wrestling the entire time. Pinkie grabbed Simon, rolling them both until she was on top of the small pegasus. They both became silent, staring into eachother's eyes. Pinkie leaned in and delicately kissed Simon on the lips, an innocent kiss, cloed mouth,with open eyes. They both got up and wiped the foam off of them. "We should get cleaned up." Simon proposed.
"C'mon, bathrooms upstairs." Pinkie beconed, and walked away, swishing her tail back and forth.
"Pinkie, theres only one bathroom." Simon pointed out as the marec limbed the stairs, but he suddenly understood. He followed her into her private bathroom, and shut the door behind him.
Hannah looked out at the city below her. Everything looked so small from her perch atop her apartment building, the streets, the cars, the people beneath, calling to her and telling her not to jump. People who didn't want her to jump, these people didn't even know her. They just wanted to be part of it. Her legs trembled, and she swallowed dryly. She picked up the bottle next to her, and almost fell over while doing so. She grasped the cheap booze and took a large swig, the burning alcohal smell assaulting her senses and making her even woozier. She swayed gently on the roof and took another glance at the faraway ground. A tear leaked from her eye and thought about how much she had loved this world. How much they had loved it... More tears streamed down her face as she remembered his laugh, his smile, even his shouts of annoyance to Simon or whoever he was with. He always did everything right. She closed her eyes as the tears flowed freely. She raised the bottle to her lips and drank the liquid within, finishing the amber solution. She dropped the glass bottle, and it smashed on the ground below. The onlookers below jumped out of the way and blocked their faces from the shards of glass that were projected from the smash sight. She giggled at this, and wobbled in her spot. Tears still streamed down her face and she wobbled more. She decided it was time. Time to join her precious Lewis on the other side. The other side of what, she didn't know. She closed her eyes and took a step. Her foot falling through space as gravity took hold. She tipped towards the ledge and fell towards the ground at an alarming speed. Images of Lewis flashed past her closed eyes and she smiled. "Goodbye world, hello Lewis..." Hannah whispered before her life stopped.
Lewis stopped suddenly. He sensed a disturbance in the force, as it were. He looked around the library, but could only see the books lining the walls. He knew for a fact that there was nopony else in the library tree. Twilight was in Canterlot, being a princess, along with Spike. Simon was still at work. He seemed to love working at the bakery, and he always came home with a smile on his face and a bag of biscuits or cakes or whatever he had made. He was also usually exhausted when he trotted back to the small apartment they shared, going straight to his room and flopping down on his small bed. He suspected it was the long hours, early mornings and late nights at Sugarcube Corner, combined with the general stress of being a pony. Lewis glanced around again, but decided that it must have been the wind. He went back to sorting the books. All of the sudden, his heart started to pound and he toppled to the ground, clutching his chest as he shook. The contracting feeling stopped as quickly as it had begun, and he lie on the wooden floor, the pain subsiding. He stood up shakily, and decided he had better sort the books by hoof for a bit, thinking it had been some sort of magical overload. That must be it, right?
Somewhere else in Equestria, a pink and white earthpony opened her new, blue eyes and looked at her new world for the first time. She certainly wasn't dead, and this certainly wasn't England.
The earth pony opened her eyes and looked to her surroundings. A lush green forest was around her, animal sounds could be heard from deep within the trees. A warm breeze blew pink hair from her eyes, and filled her nostrils with a sweet, florid scent. She closed her eyes and savored the perfumed air, she could identify daisies, roses and other flowers, but some of the scents were alien and unfamiliar, although not unpleasant. So this was heaven. This was how she would spend the rest of eternity. She looked down and discovered she was some sort of horse, white and pink, her hooves not having a seam that connected to the fetlock. She stood shakily and stepped cautiously on the grass, its soft texture tickling the frogs of her hooves. She stepped slowly and deliberately, practising in her new form. This was her afterlife, this was her reincarnation, so be it. She raised her head and sniffed the air again, the flower smell still prominent, but another odour filled her nose as she inhaled. Was this the aroma of.... Cupcakes? She sniffed again, following her nose to the pastry's scent. She exited from the clearing, beginning to get into what could be called a lazy trot, gradually getting used to the gait. She eased into a lope, but immediately tripped, landing face first into a small patch of mud. She stood, the brown goo clinging to her face, knees and chest. Better learn to walk before she could run.
The pony continued her journey, following some sort of path through the dense forest. The air was warm, but cooling slightly. She tilted her head to the sky and saw the clouds becoming tinted with yellow orange and red as the sun began to set. She lowered her head and trotted faster, not wanting to be in these strange woods by night, as she didn't know what dangers lurked within. She exited the now gloomy forest not long after, stepping into a large open area. She continued along the same path, and realized she was thirsty. She could see a bridge up ahead, and assumed there would be water under the bridge. She walked to the banks of the river, and lowered her head to drink the water, her hooves sinking into the muddy bank. She washed her face and body of the now dried mud, and swam in the river to remove any she couldn't reach. She emerged from the river and shook herself violently, spraying water everywhere.
"Uh, what are you doing?" A voice asked. She opened her eyes and was slightly shocked to see... nothing. "Up here." the voice said with a tone making her feel like it should have been obvious where the speaker was. The earth pony looked up to see a teal, no, cyan pony with a multihued mane lying on a cloud. The pony jumped off the cloud and revealed wings, which aided her landing. She touched down in front of the earth pony and looked upon her with superiority. The white pony was scruffy, her fur wet and haphazard from shaking herself dry, flecks of mud here and there, the mane and tail a pastel pink, but matted with water and full of small leaves and the occasional twig. Her cutie mark depicted an owl's head. Rainbowdash looked over the other mare, showing slight distaste. "Why did you go in the river? Did you fall or what?"
The earth pony was shocked the other horse had wings, but was even more shocked she could talk. "Um, yes. I, I fell." She stated, surprised she could talk. "Um, who are you?" She asked tentatively.
"Only the greatest flyer in all of Equestria!" The pegasus boasted. She launched herself into the air, did a flip and landed on her hooves. "Names Rainbowdash." She claimed with pride, glad she could enlighten another pony on how awesome she was. "Er, what did you say your name was?" Rainbowdash was proud, but she wasn't ill-mannered.
The earthpony had to think fast, could she use her real name? Nobody would know, but this pony didn't have a regular name, she should have a pony name too. She looked around, and saw an owl on her flank. Something with owls, she thought. "Uh... Owlomadia." She blurted. Great, she thought, I had to make up the worst name in history.
Lewis walked down the street, the books in his saddle bags swaying side to side as he headed towards the library. He greeted various towns people on his way, even had a short conversation with Fluttershy as she passed. He went through the market, passing stalls and nodding to ponies he knew. He stopped at a stand run by Applejack and bought an apple as a snack, grabbing another one for Simon. He levitated the fruit in front of him as he walked, taking large bites from the crisp apple. He continued down the road, and as he went over a hill, he could see Rainbowdash flying low to the ground, talking to a pink maned white earth pony. Rainbowdash was obviously bored of having to stay so low to the ground in order to talk to the pony. She spotted Lewis and called him over.
"Hey, Trekkie!" She yelled, a nickname she had given him after he explained what his cutiemark was from. She didn't understand what Star Trek was, but she liked calling him anything other than Lewis. The other mare had perked up slightly at the name. "This is... uh..." Rainbowdash stopped.
"Owlomadia." the mare said. Lewis found this name, and the voice familiar.
"Right, that." Rainbowdash mumbled. "Anyways, I have stuff to do, so you can show her around, right? I know you aren't busy." and without a word from Lewis, she rocketed off into the distance, leaving Lewis alone with the strange pony in the middle of the road.
Lewis looked to the mare, who looked rather skinny and scruffy, her coat matted and her mane and tail filled with mud and twigs. He levitated the extra apple he had bought from his saddle bag and held it in front of the mare. "Hungry?" He asked. The mare nodded and grabbed the apple with her teeth. She raised a front leg and balanced the fruit on the frog of her hoof, taking delicate bites from the apple. She ate the apple whole, even eating the core, then smiled at the stallion. Lewis laughed, then motioned for her to walk with him. He could see Sugarcube Corner from where he stood, and decided to stop and pay Simon a visit at work. The mare had said her name so quickly, it sounded a bit like... no. Ha- She was in England, in the real world.
Lewis shook his head, trying to clear her from his mind, but only succeeded in throwing his glasses from his face. He'd do anything to see her again, but he couldn't. He caught his glasses mid-air with magic, preventing them from shattering on the pavement below him. He put on his glasses and blinked, blushing and smiling at the mare. They continued walking towards the bakery, the mare trotting awkwardly to keep up. He almost regretted deciding to take her with him, knowing full well how Pinkie Pie greeted new ponies.
Upon entering the bakery, the mare inhaled deeply, absorbing the sugary aroma of cakes and sweets. The pony Rainbowdash had called "Trekkie" left her at a small table, instead of chairs, which a pony would not be able to sit on, there were large cushions. She sat upon one of the cushions, sinking in slightly. The red stallion went up to the main counter and talked to a blue and pink mare. The mare exited through a door behind the counter, then re-emerged, carrying two plates on her mane, each one holding a cupcake. The stallion gave her a few golden coins, then levitated the plates and walked towards the table where his companion sat. He passed a plate to the white mare, and she nodded her thanks. She looked to the treat, yellow sponge, a choclatey topping, and she suspected when she took a bite-
"Its called a Jaffa Cake," the stallion said, interupting her thoughts, "It may look like a regular cupcake, but the inside is-"
"Orange creme..." She finished. The stallion looked up from his cupcake, into her eyes, and she looked into his. Their eyes widened at the same moment as they realized. "LEWIS!" Hannah cried, hurling herself at him with tears in her eyes, knocking over him, the table and their food. She didn't care, she had her Lewis back.
"Hannah!" Lewis choked out, his throat hurting and tears running down his face in happiness, love, and the pain of being suddenly crushed by nearly five hundred kilograms of pony. Hannah looked down to him and kissed him with four months of built up passion and love. After being separated all this time, they were reunited.
"What the hay is going on here?" a voice shouted, completely and utterly shattering the moment. The pair looked up to see a small orange pegasus in a chef's hat glaring at them. Lewis chuckled, and Hannah leapt towards the pony, knocking the pegasus backwards.
"Simon!" she cried joyfully, embracing her lost friend.
"Hannah? HANNAH!" Simon cried, hugging the mare. He withdrew and smiled naughtily. "Do I get a kiss too?" Hannah replied with a kiss to his muzzle, causing the orange pegasus's face to become as red as the unicorn stallion's. Lewis trotted over and embraced his two friends, so happy they were together again at last.
"I don't think its going to fit!" Hannah gasped. It isn't easy squeezing into a tight dress when you're ten months pregnant. It was a beautiful dress, and she didn't want to rip it. it did have a skirt that was belted at her withers, so you could only see part of her stomach. "How am I expected to walk down the aisle when I can barely walk at all?" She really couldn't believe it at all. All that had happened. Lewis dying, him being a pony all that time, her dying, being a pony ever since. Lewis had promptly asked her to marry him after their reunion, having told her of his initial plan to propose, then dying, and selling the ring. He re-bought the ring and had the gold band enlarged to fit around a hoof. She loved the minecraft diamond that adorned the ring. So they planned on living happily ever after, just like every other pony couple, ever.
Lewis stood at the top of the alter, Simon and the Doctor next to him, Derpy and a pregnant Pinkie Pie across from them. About a week after they were reunited with Hannah, Pinkie had announced she was officially pregnant, and that the foal was Simon's. Simon was joyful, but slightly depressed about being weighed down with the responsibility when there was a whole world to explore. Pinkie was extremely disappointed with not being able to stay up all night partying, and having her fun time dramatically cut. He heard the music that signaled his bride to be, and saw the golden clad white pony walk down the aisle as regally as could be managed with an unborn foal inside of her. He smiled, Their unborn foal. The ceremony progressed, and he really couldn't pay attention as Celestia spoke. All he could do is stare at Hannah and not cry. He didn't even hear Celestia read the vows, "Huh?" he said when he heard his name, which encited laughter from the crowd. He blushed as best as he could, its not easy being dark red. Celestia chuckled, "Do you agree to take this mare as your wife, to care for her foals and for her, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, 'til death do you part?"
"I do."
Suddenly a white pony clad in black burst through the doors of the church and poured Lava on the floor. He had red eyes, a white coat, no mane and a black suit. The most notable thing about this pony however is that he was an ALICORN!!! Rainbowdash could be heard from the back of the church yelling "DUN DUN DUUUUN!"
Simon's eyes widened as he saw the pony. "L-l-l-Lewis?"
