A support group for the villains of Friendship Is Magic
Those who have faced the Elements of Harmony gather at a support group to deal with being defeated. They gather around to sit on uncomfortable chairs and sip stale cider while they talk about their side of the story.
No one heard the dark blue alicorn trying to call over the din in the room. Ponies and dragons and a few other creatures milled around, talking about this and that. The meeting was not off to a great start.
The alicorn had to use what her former self called the Royal Canterlot Voice. “QUIET! EVERPONY TAKE YOUR SEATS! YOUR QUEEN OF THE NIGHT COMMANDS YOU!”
And just as commanded, everypony sat. The dragons had a hard time fitting onto the provided stools, but they managed.
The alicorn smiled. “Welcome to Villains United. A support group for those of us who have faced those foalish Elements of Harmony. And, unfortunately, those of us who have lost to them.”
“I actually lost to that little princess,” a changeling pointed out.
“QUIET!” the alicorn commanded. “Now, as I was the first one to face these Elements, I will be the first to speak.”
“What did they do to you that was so horrible you need to go first?” the same changeling asked. “They stopped my subjects and me from feeding!”
“They made me leave my home!”
“They destroyed Trixie’s home!”
“They turned me to stone!”
“I no longer truly exist because of the Elements!” the alicorn cried. “What you see here before you is but a shadow of a great being, the former queen of the night. My counterpart has been reduced to a princess, hidden behind that Celestia, whose sun’s brightness outshines her beautiful night. I can only watch as she accepts her pitiful fate, and you believe my pain is not great enough?”
The room fell into stunned silence. Finally, one of the ponies spoke up. “Uh, you can go first.”
The alicorn smiled. “Of course I will.”
--
NIGHTMARE MOON’S STORY
I had waited on that moon for one thousand years. It wasn’t as much a punishment as Celestia thought it would be. After all, I am the queen of the night, and the moon. All she did was send me to my domain.
But it did hurt me to spend so long without being the one to control my beloved night. Celestia took my duties away from me in my banishment. The ponies never knew, yet I knew, that many times she was late in raising the moon. Of course the ponies wouldn’t love the night if she never treated it with care.
So I spent those thousand years plotting my escape. I found I had limited power over the stars, and I could move them just a bit each night. By the time the millennium had passed, I had aligned the stars in a path straight to Equestria. I found Celestia and captured her. It was easier than I expected—she had become weak in my time away, too confident in her power.
Of course, I didn’t hurt her. I still considered her my sister. I merely brought the night so heavily on her that she fell into a deep sleep. I planned for her to never wake up.
And then, I made my grand appearance to the ponies who had been waiting for Celestia’s arrival. I was pleased to see them, of course. They were my subjects, and I still loved them. I knew they would enjoy my beautiful night.
They screamed in fright at my presence! They did not even remember me! One of the ponies, who later became one of the elements, tried to guess my name, which should have been taught to every filly and colt in their schools. As an added insult, the name she chose was-ugh-‘Black Snooty’.
I grew angry. I spoke with malice. I did not threaten them, yet still they feared me. I thought I had no way of reclaiming their love—until the unicorn named Twilight Sparkle called me by my name. Not the pathetic name my parents had given me, but Nightmare Moon, my true chosen name. Finally, a pony who remembered and respected me.
Yet even she showed fear. And when I told my ponies of my glorious plan to have eternal night, they cried in terror. They could not understand what a gift I was giving them. But as I saw the fear on their faces, I realized that this fear was just as good as respect.
They did not fear me for long. I only had a moment to revel in their terror before their mayor cried for somepony to seize me. Despite my power, I was still only one pony, and they were many. I fled to the forest, where Celestia was locked in her eternal slumber in our old castle.
I find it curious that the Everfree Forest was able to care for itself after Celestia left that castle. She had never wanted to live in a forest where ponies couldn’t find and adore her. With nopony around and me gone, she abandoned the forest. I had worried that it would wither and die without my caring hoof, yet it stayed alive on its own. Perhaps I had put more of myself into it than I thought.
Yet that is beside the point. As I sat with my sister, I felt the presence of ponies entering the forest. I cannot say how I felt their presence, but I must admit I did not question it. I left Celestia’s side to find these foals who dared search for their princess and shunned their queen.
Back then, I was far more powerful than even the average alicorn. I could dissolve my form into the mist of the forest and travel where I pleased. I found the six ponies near the entrance to the forest. Luckily for me, they were already standing on the edge of a cliff. I just needed to give the ground a good crack and the ponies would be unable to spoil my night.
I almost succeeded. Yet a combination of the pegasi carrying their friends and sheer luck saved their lives. I would have to try harder. I flew down the path I knew the ponies would follow, seeking a way to stop them. A manticore was asleep in a small clearing. Perfect. I tore a thorn from a nearby bush and forced it into his paw. The creature howled in pain, but what did I care if a beast was hurt? All that mattered was that he stopped the ponies.
As I headed back to the castle, I noticed a few more opportunities to stop the foals. I carved some trees into terrifying faces, hoping to scare them away. I wasn’t trying to kill them, after all, only stop them from attacking me. I also upset a river serpent.
“Ooh! That was me!”
--
Nightmare Moon sighed in exasperation. Her eyes glowed as she glared at the sea serpent. “What are you doing here? You are not a true villain. You were only a pawn.”
“I’ve faced the elements too, haven’t I?” the serpent with the perfect coiffure asked. “I should get a chance to speak!”
The alicorn rolled her eyes. “Very well. Speak. Make it quick.”
--
STEVEN MAGNET’S STORY
Well! There I was, relaxing in the river, when suddenly this terribly tacky purple—I know now it was you, miss Nightmare Moon, but you do clash with my scales—this tacky purple cloud flew by and just sliced off half my moustache!
I had spent months growing out my fabulous moustache! Do you know how hard it is for a serpent to grow facial hair? And then woosh! Clean off! If you wanted to upset me, Nightmare Moon, you certainly did!
I cried for hours! Every time I thought I might be all right, I saw my reflection in the river and saw just how horrid I looked!
But then! I heard singing from deep within the forest. And suddenly, a group of ponies came over to my river!
I told them what was wrong, and, well, most of them didn’t care. But there was one generous soul among the group! That white unicorn with the beautiful mane cut off her gorgeous tail just to replace my fabulous moustache!
Oh, she’s the element of generosity? Well, of course! It makes sense!
Anyway, I was so grateful to her and her friends that I helped them cross the river!
--
The alicorn gave Steven a withering glance. “Are you done?”
The river serpent nodded.
“You know, you kind of helped them,” a pony pointed out.
Steven shrugged and nodded. “I faced them, though!”
“You said you were finished speaking,” Nightmare Moon reminded him. “And I still have more to tell. Spend no more time defending yourself. Just…be quiet.”
Steven folded his arms across his chest and curled his tail around his body, but he did shut up.
--
NIGHTMARE MOON’S STORY (continued)
After the ponies had passed him, I realized I needed to take a more direct approach to stop them. I peered into their minds and learned the rainbow one would do anything to be part of Celestia’s Wonderbolts.
Of course, the Wonderbolts would not longer exist when the ponies accepted me as their queen. I had once had my own team of flyers, named the Shadowbolts. The Wonderbolts had been called the Wonderdreams back then, but Celestia chose to combine the teams after banishing me. I planned to reform the Shadowbolts, but these brave pegasi would need a captain.
I took the form of some of my greatest former flyers, Swift Wing and Dark Hoof. The foal didn’t seem to notice that Dark Hoof was there twice. I used their voices to flatter the pegasus and tell her she was indeed the best flyer in Equestria. She was not modest in agreeing. I said she could join this great team, if only she abandoned her friends.
She led me to believe that she had chosen my wonderful flyers. And then she saved her foalish friends. The betrayal did sting, but what else could I expect from ponies who had never known me?
There was nothing left to stop them. I returned to the castle to watch over Celestia. Yet when the ponies arrived, they were not talking about my sister. They spoke of the Elements of Harmony--the only things with the power to stop my reign.
I stayed hidden in the shadows of the castle while they found the old Elements. The spark of magic had disappeared from the stone orbs when Celestia had stopped using them. They sat dull and lifeless on their altar. I had no fear of these little ponies being able to wield their power.
The ponies left the unicorn who had recognized me alone with the Elements. She managed to start to bring the magic back to the orbs, but I chose this moment to make my presence known. A little magic spark of my own cause the orbs to shatter. The Elements were no more.
I thought then that nothing could stop me, and perhaps I became too proud in my victory. The unicorn charged towards me, and I stopped her with another little show of magic. I should have simply destroyed her then, but I no longer considered her a threat.
Her friends returned, and the unicorn gave a speech about how they were the true Elements. I did not believe them. I should have. What little magic the unicorn had done to the Elements had transferred the spirits from the orbs to the ponies themselves. They were more of a threat than I could imagine.
The ponies used their newfound power on me, and I could do nothing to save myself. I was forcefully ripped from Luna, who was left as a sniveling shell of the princess she was before me. I became this shadow that you see today. To the ponies, I no longer mattered.
And now, Luna is strong enough to resist my return. I have nowhere to go. No one remembers that I exist.
--
“That is such a sad story!” Steven Magnet cried when Nightmare Moon had finished talking.
The alicorn simply sighed again. “Please, don’t come back next week.”
“What did you think of last week’s story?” a pony asked a griffon as they gathered near the cider table.
The griffon made a scoffing sound and replied, “That serpent was a total dweeb. Nightmare Moon might’ve been kind of cool if she wasn’t whining about lame ponies the whole time.”
“Not all ponies are lame,” the pony said indignantly. “Trixie is not lame.”
The griffon just gave a cool look to the pony. “Ponies are lame.”
“Greetings, everyone!” called Nightmare Moon from the circle of chairs. “Who will be the next to speak?”
“Trixie will-“ the pony began to volunteer, but the griffon interrupted her with a snarl.
“I think it’s time for a cool story,” she said, striding to the front of the room.
--
GILDA’S STORY
Look, I didn’t actually face the Elements of Harmony or whatever, but I know the ponies you’re all talking about. I went to Junior Speedster flight camp with Rainbow Dash. She was cool back then.
There weren’t a lot of griffons at the flight camp. Most the time, we’re too busy hunting to go to things like that. So I was stuck there with a bunch of lame-o ponies. Most of them were kind of scared of me—some old mare’s tale about how griffons eat ponies. But Dash was cool enough to realize that was just a bogus rumor, and that I’m awesome. So we hung out.
I went to Ponyville to visit Dash. I hadn’t seen her in a while so I figured, old times, you know? I thought it’d be cool to hang again. At first, yeah, it was pretty sweet. Then Pinkie Pie showed up.
So, you know Pinkie Pie as one of the Elements—I don’t know which one, I don’t really care—but I just know her as the lamest of lame ponies. I’m only hanging out with Dash for an hour before Pinkie shows up and tries to join us.
I don’t mind that Dash has new friends now. I do too, but mine are cooler. I just didn’t want to hang out with her friends, you know? Dash said she’d see Pinkie later, and it was cool. We went off flying—she got seriously fast. Of course, so did I, but I gotta respect my friend for her speed.
That dweeb Pinkie Pie came back. I don’t know what her problem is, but she wouldn’t leave us alone. I told her to scram, and she came back. She had all these lame ways of getting up to the clouds—doesn’t she know earth ponies shouldn’t be up that high? I had to spell it out for her as plain as I could: she’s a dweeb, dorking up the sky, and Dash wanted to hang out with me. That finally got her to leave.
I might’ve been kind of mean to her, but Dash didn’t see any of it, so it didn’t matter. And it was cool to hang out with Dash without any dweebs around. Just us and the sky. We ran into a few other pegasus ponies—one of them had weird eyes and almost bumped into me—but mostly they stayed out of our way.
But Dash had to go do some work or something, so I went to hang in the town. I decided to prank some of the ponies. Maybe they’d be good for something. I scared the buck out of this old mare by making her think my tail was a snake—it was hilarious. Then, since I was at a food cart, I realized I was pretty hungry, but all those lame ponies had was fruit. No meat. I stole an apple from the cart—I would’ve paid for meat, but hey, they didn’t have any. Didn’t taste that great, anyways.
So I was walking along, eating my apple, and another lame pony bumps into me. She’s taking care of ducks or something—how dorky is that? I scared her off pretty fast. Stupid pony couldn’t even talk to me. Just whined about how sorry she was.
I gave up on the town. Too boring. So I flew back up to the clouds and took a nap for a while. At least the clouds in Ponyville are soft. Only good thing about that place—you know, I still can’t understand why Dash moved there in the first place.
Dash woke me up when she was done with her weather stuff by pushing a raincloud over me. Honestly, it did scare me. She’s pretty awesome at pranks—usually. This was a good one. We laughed about it, but then she had to go and ruin it by telling me that Pinkie Pie was throwing a party. That lame pony couldn’t leave me and Dash alone.
At least she said the party was in my honor, so that was pretty cool, I guess. It’s the reason I went, anyways. And I was going with Dash, so at least we’d get some more time to hang out, even if we were hanging around a bunch of lame ponies.
When we got to the party, I decided to be nice and be polite to Pinkie. She was annoying, but she was Dash’s friend. But when I shook her hoof, she shocked me! One of those stupid buzzers. I figured out what kind of party it was—she was mad that I told her to get lost and wanted revenge. I wasn’t going to play her game, and I let her know that. She acted all innocent, but I knew she was bringing a challenge.
She kept pulling prank after prank on me. All of them were pretty lame and weak, and I felt like a dork walking into all of them. First the spicy lemon drops, then the dribble glass, the spitting snakes, and finally that cake with the relighting candles. I should have seen them all coming, but at least I knew who to blame for them.
When we started playing pin the tail on the pony, I thought I’d figured her out. She pointed me one way, so I went the other. And I walked right into another prank—or really I fell into it, and ended up with the tail pinned on my beak. Those lame ponies just laughed at me.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I was acting like a dork getting pranked so many times, and the lame-o ponies were laughing at me. On top of that, I was spending no time with Dash without Pinkie hanging around. So I roared, something which I know scares ponies usually. Even Dash hated it back at flight camp. And it got the ponies to shut up.
I let all those ponies know how lame they were acting, what dweebs they were. And I told Pinkie Pie all about how her pranks were weak and she wasn’t getting to me. I knew Dash would be on my side, so I told her we were leaving and that should have been the end of it.
But Dash stayed behind. She said she was behind those pranks—which I still don’t believe, she’s better than that—and that I was being mean to her friends. I wasn’t. Pinkie annoyed me first, and she kept trying to get back at me. I didn’t even meet her other friends, so I don’t know what she was talking about. Anyways, she told me to leave.
I know I’m so much cooler than her and those dorky friends of hers, but I haven’t talked to Dash since then. I kind of miss her, you know? At least, I miss the cool Dash. If she’s just another lame pony now, I don’t want to talk to her. I just want the old Dash back, so we can hang out and race again.
--
“So, why were you friends with her in the first place?” one of the ponies asked.
Gilda rolled her eyes. “I just said she used to be cool. Weren’t you listening?”
“Honestly, it just sounded like you were jealous,” another pony added.
Gilda turned to the dragons, dogs, and other non-pony creatures of the group. “You see what I mean? Ponies are lame.”
“Trixie is not lame!” cried a pony.
“Then ‘Trixie’ can tell her own story,” Gilda said. “I gotta bail. I’m done talking to you all.”
After Gilda stalked out of the room, the blue unicorn immediately took her place.
“Everypony!” she called. “Prepare yourselves to be awed by this story of bravery and valor! For Trixie too has faced the Elements of Harmony, and I escaped unharmed! I will tell you all the story of Trixie’s encounter!”
A changeling shrugged. “All right, go ahead.”
--
The Great and Powerful Trixie is indeed the greatest pony who ever lived, and this should be obvious to all who see her show. But the foals in Ponyville couldn’t see that.
I went to Ponyville as I went to any other little town. I would give them an extraordinary show with every trick possible, and they would give me bits for the entertainment. The Great and Powerful Trixie always puts on a fantastic show, and Ponyville was supposed to be no different.
I set up my stage in the center of town, because Trixie will always know how to capture an audience. After all, aren’t even you astounded and amazed by Trixie’s story?
…well, you will be. Anyway, I told some little colts who Trixie is and about my amazing show, and of course they ran off to tell everypony. I waited for a good crowd to arrive, and then I started my act. I can repeat it for you know, if you’d like. Of course you would.
“Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie! Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!”
There’s more, of course, but the crowd was losing interest fast. This is where Trixie’s show met its end. Somepony called me a showoff! And, of course, I may be that, but Trixie has much to be proud of. Why can’t I show it off?
So Trixie showed she was better than those foals who laughed. She told the story of her valiant fight against the Ursa Major! I would tell this story now, but sadly I have learned that some foals do not understand creative license. But if you want to know of Trixie’s battle, do not hesitate to ask.
I said, do not hesitate.
Well, then. Trixie would not stand for ponies laughing at her. I called one of the loudest onto the stage—some little hayseed who did rope tricks. Trixie’s powerful magic, on the other hoof, tied her up and humiliated her!
Some pegasus tried to do a trick. It was a nice trick, I will admit that, but it had nothing on the amazing powers of Trixie! I showed her a little trick of my own and it got her right off of my stage.
And then came a unicorn. By now, I was tired of wasting my time with these ponies. I simply turned the unicorn’s mane green, and she ran off crying like a filly. Trixie had indeed proven that she was the greatest pony! Of course, I told everypony there this, and they cheered wildly! Well, some of them did.
After my show, I retired to my cart to rest. I planned on another show the next day, this time charging bits to my adoring audience. But my audience was hungry for more already, and those little colts I’d met when I came to town were pestering me for more of my fantastic stories. Trixie put them to good use by getting them to run errands for me. And of course, I promised them amazing stories of the Great and Powerful Trixie. They would hear these stories if they paid for the next show.
Trixie does not appreciate that you are falling asleep at her story. Yes, you, the dog in the back.
I was sound aslee-I mean, Trixie was working on a fantastic new act for her show late at night when there was suddenly a horrible noise outside the cart. I headed outside to see before me the dreaded Ursa Major!
Of course, Trixie was not scared, even though it crushed her cart. I performed some great feats of magic to intimidate the fearsome creature! I was preparing to do some even more amazing magic, but it slipped out that my story of defeating the Ursa Major before may have been exaggerated.
Another unicorn—not the same one as before, but I think they are both Elements of Harmony—chose this as the moment to upstage me. She showed off a few of her little parlor tricks, and this, combined with my magic, of course, was enough to scare off the Ursa.
The unicorn then claimed that the beast was only an Ursa Minor, and that she could defeat the larger Ursa Major. What a showoff! I decided to leave. Nopony wants to be around a braggart like that.
Since then, Trixie has been traveling around Equestria, performing her shows in other towns. It is a bit more difficult now, as my effects were crushed with my cart, and those Ponyvillians have spread awful lies about my act. But it is no matter, Trixie’s show speaks for herself! And soon, I will have enough bits to buy back my home.
And then I’ll show that showoff.
--
“Kind of sounds like you were the one bragging a lot,” a dragon commented.
The Great and Powerful Trixie glared at the creature. “It isn’t bragging if it’s true. And everything Trixie claims is true. Does anyone challenge that?”
No one answered her. The changeling sighed in boredom, and the draconequus picked at his claws.
“You’ll see,” Trixie muttered. “Trixie is the greatest!”
Nightmare Moon had intended for this group to support each other, but she had forgotten that they were villains. They weren’t only evil to those annoying Elements of Harmony—they were evil to each other. Even she had rolled her eyes at Trixie’s tale the other day. But they had returned to meet again.
The villains, the evildoers, and the mischief makers gathered around a large red dragon to hear his story about how the rainbow pegasus kicked him and woke him up, and the ponies made him leave his comfy sleeping spot. Instead of comforting the creature, the others had told him that he was not really a villain, just an annoyance, and they’d all faced worse than being kicked.
They had all fallen to arguing, Nightmare Moon joining in, but then a chirp came from across the room. All eyes turned towards the small creature, which looked just like a puffball with wings. The parasprite chirped again, clearly trying to communicate something.
And then, one of the actual Elements of Harmony—those who they had gathered to hate—appeared from under the parasprite’s chair. No one would be able to exactly say how the pink pony got there, but everypony prepared to attack.
“Don’t worry!” the Element of Laughter said quickly. “I’m just here to translate for this little guy. Then I’ll go away. Pinkie Promise.”
The draconequus was the first to relax back into his seat, with the rest slowly following. Pinkie Pie grinned widely.
--
Okay! So, this little guy says his name is Parry. Did you even know parasprites had names? ‘Cause I didn’t. Although I guess Parry is a better name for a parasprite than something like Fred or Joe. Anyways, Parry here was the very first parasprite that came to Ponyville! So he knows the whole story.
Parry first met my good friend Fluttershy. She thought he was so cute! Of course, Fluttershy thinks every animal is cute, even gross ones like spiders or snakes. Plus, she takes care of all the animals in Ponyville, so she tried to take care of Parry here. She didn’t know anything about parasprites, because obviously if she did, she would have made this one go away before everypony had to deal with them!
Oh. Sorry. Parry says Fluttershy was very nice to him and let him eat her apples. And he got so full that he burped out another Parry! And another one! And ano-oh, just two? Okay. Then he was really hungry again so he waited to see if Fluttershy would feed him and his new brothers.
Then this is when I came in! Fluttershy showed me Parry and I knew right away what he was. And I knew that it was up to me to stop the parasprite infestation! But this is Parry’s story now. So he stayed with Fluttershy and another one of the little Parrys went over to Twilight. She was there too.
Parry was still really really hungry. But Fluttershy took him home and let him wander around her house. She’s way too nice. Parry found the food for her sick birds and ate all of it. And then he was full again so he started burping out more brothers. He really hoped that his brother that went off with Twilight wasn’t hungry.
He wasn’t, because parasprites can eat anything from cupcakes to carrots, but Parry didn’t know if Twilight had any food, which is silly because of course ponies have food! Or else how would we eat?
Back to Parry. He and his brothers kept eating all night and kept burping more new Parrys! It was a Parry-palooza! And when poor Fluttershy woke up, she didn’t know what to do! She pleaded with them and asked politely, and Parry says they would have listened, but they were all really hungry. So they just kept eating until Fluttershy didn’t have any food. She called Applejack to bring over some apples.
Okay, all Parry said was a bunch of other ponies came too, but I know what happened! Twilight and Rainbow Dash and Rarity were all there too. I wasn’t there because I was looking for instruments. And they all had a bunch of parasprites with them. Applejack had apples with her which Parry and some of his brothers ate really fast. And then they were still hungry!
Applejack took most of the parasprites and rounded them up and took them woosh! all the way out to the Everfree Forest! But Parry stayed in Fluttershy’s house because he wanted to find more food, and Fluttershy let him because she thought he was cute. That poor, poor girl.
Parry found a little bit of food in Fluttershy’s house while she was out helping Applejack get rid of the rest of the parasprites. So he ate it and burped out more Parrys and it was all starting again! Because no one listened to me!
Sorry.
Rainbow Dash tried to help too, but she just sent the parasprites right into town. So then Parry and his new brothers went all over town eating all the food and they were really happy because there was finally enough food for them. Of course, they were eating everypony out of house and home, but parasprites just don’t care about that. What? It’s true.
Then Twilight thought she was helping by doing a spell so that parasprites wouldn’t eat food anymore. And she was helping! The parasprites, anyway. Parry says they were so happy because suddenly there was a lot more for them to eat! So they ate all of it.
They kept eating and burping out new parasprites and it was all really happy for them, but not for us because they were eating all our stuff! And nopony could figure out how to stop them!
But then Parry says they heard some really fun music coming from somewhere, and they saw this pink pony—oh! that was me!—playing the music, so they all had to follow her. I mean, me. The parasprites followed me all the way out of Ponyville and into the Everfree Forest. Parry says they went to Fillydelphia next, but then Twilight’s spell had worn off and they wanted real food again. But they were out of Ponyville, so that’s the end of the story!
--
Parry gave a triumphant chirp at the end of his story, and flitted from the top of the pink pony’s head back to his chair. Pinkie Pie just gave a blithe smile at all the villains around her.
“You poor thing!” the sea serpent cried. “All you wanted to do was eat!”
Nightmare Moon turned to glare at the serpent. “Didn’t I tell you not to come back?”
“That was last week,” Steven Magnet reminded her.
The alicorn gave a derisive snort and turned to look at the parasprite again. “You faced the Elements and you were defeated by them. But you, and your…brothers, you have all survived. That is something to be commended.”
A few of the figures around the room nodded their assent. The pack of dogs began a light bit of applause, but that quickly died down.
“And as for your translator…” Nightmare Moon looked to the empty chair where Pinkie had once sat. She’d vanished without a trace, just as she had Pinkie Promised. “Well, never mind.”
“Look, your story was like, interesting or whatever.” Eyes turned to the little pink filly who’d spoken, but her eyes were on her hooves, examining her hooficure for chips. When she realized the others were staring at her, she glanced up and continued her thought. “I’m just saying, you were looking for food? That’s like, not evil.”
“And what evil have you faced?” a changeling asked. “You’re a child.”
“Hey, I was there when he—“ the pony pointed to the smirking draconequus, “—like, got out. Actually, it was the sisters of those like, Elements of Harmony ponies that did it. They’re soo annoying.”
“Sisters?” Nightmare Moon caught onto that one word. “I was unaware the Elements had family.”
“Well, duh, they have family,” the filly said. “I totally know, I go to school with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. Can I tell my story now?”
“By all means,” invited the changeling queen. It seemed everyone in the room was very interested in hearing about the Elements’ families.
--
DIAMOND TIARA’S STORY
So like, the whole thing started when I got my cutie mark. I was with my best friend Silver Spoon, and we were shopping at the Carousel Boutique. The owner’s little sister is that little dork Sweetie Belle, but the clothes in the store are really cool and are sold all over Canterlot, so it’s like, okay, I guess.
I tried on a custom dress that my dad, rich businesspony Filthy Rich, had Rarity make just for me. And then I looked in the mirror and realized I looked just like a princess. Even Silver Spoon and Rarity said so. So I realized that because of Daddy, I like, am a princess. And then my cutie mark appeared! It’s so cool. Like, the most fantastic cutie mark ever. See?
Ugh. You’re all just jealous because you’re not ponies and you don’t get cutie marks.
So then in school, Miss Cheerilee was so obviously inspired by my cutie mark to start teaching about cutie marks. It was so boring. I mean, who cares how other ponies got their cutie marks? I already have mine!
Then I noticed that poor little Apple Bloom didn’t have her cutie mark yet. So I was laughing with Silver Spoon about that, but I wasn’t being like, mean. I even invited her and her loser friend to my cute-ceañera. It wasn’t like I could not invite her, ‘cause I totally wanted everypony in the class to be there.
Yeah, I mean everypony. What’s the point of being popular if nopony’s saying how awesome you are? Duh.
So I was walking around with Silver Spoon after school that day and heard Apple Bloom like, whining about not having her cutie mark. I mean, get over it, okay? No one cares. I mean, yeah, I guess it was kind of sad that her friend got her cutie mark before her, and like, I was sad when Silver Spoon got her cutie mark before me, but Apple Bloom is such a loser, she’s got like, bigger problems.
Still, I had to make a joke to Silver Spoon about that poor blank flank. I mean, it was funny!
But then I totally left Apple Bloom alone and went with Silver Spoon back to the Carousel Boutique to get my cute-ceañera dress. It was like, the best dress ever. Totally showed off my cutie mark. And then when we left, we had to pass by Apple Bloom like, again. And she like, whined about being a blank flank. Whatever.
But it was okay, because my party was starting soon. I just had to change into my dress and then head over to Sugarcube Corner. I took extra care putting my dress on because it was like, so amazing.
My party was like, not as cool as it should have been. First Snails took the first bite of my cake, and then Pokey popped all the balloons! Apple Bloom did show up after all, though. I really thought she like, wouldn’t. But she was wearing a tablecloth to cover up her blank flank—what a loser!
She started saying how, like, her cutie mark was there and it was like, sooo amazing and sooo special and that she just couldn’t show it off because, like…I forget why. But I played along with her anyway because like, it was a party. I’m not like, that mean.
But then she tripped on her tablecloth and pulled it off. She had no cutie mark! So like, I had to laugh at her, because it was like, so pathetic she would try that! And then these two other blank flanks stood up for her because losers stick together or something. At least Silver Spoon was still on my side.
And then Miss Twilight Sparkle took the losers’ side, so all my friends did too. It was like, so humiliating! My party was ruined! I’m never going to forgive those blank flanks for it!
--
“I thought this story might be about me,” the draconequus remarked. His tone was more bored than annoyed. “You did mention my release, after all.”
“Well, isn’t that, like, your story?” Diamond Tiara asked.
The draconequus just shrugged, the action releasing bright sparks from his upturned claw and paw. Diamond Tiara wrinkled her nose at him and said, “You’re weird.”
“Don’t you have any more to say about the sisters of the Elements?” the changeling queen asked.
The filly rolled her eyes. “I don’t know, they’re like, always looking for their cutie marks. Such a waste of time, they’ll totally be blank flanks like, forever.”
“Interesting,” the changeling remarked, a smile spreading across her face. “Thank you so much for that story.”
The next week, the villains filed into their usual meeting area to find a surprise waiting for them. One lavender colored unicorn sat at the front of the room, her mane in a bun. She had piled books in front of her, as if they were a wall of protection from the various creatures who were beginning to recognize her.
Nightmare Moon was the first to speak. “Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic. Why are you here?”
“She wouldn’t fight us,” the draconequus said, idly sitting in his usual seat. “Not alone, anyways.”
“I’m here because Pinkie Pie told me about your support group,” Twilight said. “I thought I would share some of my research about a creature that we met who doesn’t appear to be among you.”
“If he’s not here, then he doesn’t get a say,” Gilda said, striding directly towards the unicorn. “So you need to scram.”
Twilight didn’t move. “Gilda, I have met you before. I’m not afraid of you. Besides, I’m only here to tell a story. Isn’t that what you all are doing?”
“Yeah, telling stories about you and your lame friends,” Gilda said. “No one wants to hear from you.”
The unicorn just gave her a level stare. “I’m here peacefully. If you can’t be peaceful, Spike is outside ready to alert Princess Celestia.”
“Let her talk,” Nightmare Moon said. “Any information freely given by an Element should be welcomed.”
Twilight frowned, but then cleared her throat and began.
--
Hydra draconecus is a creature found only in swamplands. We found this particular creature in Froggy Bottom Bog, where unfortunately Fluttershy was helping some frogs. I had spent the day studying Pinkius piecus, when her ‘Pinkie Sense’ told her that there would be trouble in the area.
Pinkie Sense is how Pinkie Pie knows what’s going to happen before it happens. I have learned it’s better not to question this.
Anyways, we were in Froggy Bottom Bog, and we were going to warn Fluttershy about the creature. Wait, sorry, we didn’t know about the Hydra yet—we were telling Fluttershy about the ‘doozy’ Pinkie had predicted. Applejack, Spike, and I were looking for her, and we luckily managed to find her before she was hurt.
Then the Hydra draconecus came out of the swamp and attacked us! I’m not sure if it was evil, per se, but I do think it had some intelligence. Its heads showed emotion, which is only present in intelligent animals.
I have since learned that the Hydra draconecus is a regenerative creature—if it loses its head, then two more will grow in its place. The one that we faced must have lost its head twice.
The Hydra—
--
“This is so boring,” Diamond Tiara suddenly complained. “Miss Twilight? Miss Cheerilee gives us enough lectures at school.”
“This is important,” Twilight said. “Aren’t you interested in learning more about the creatures of Equestria?”
“No,” the young filly said bluntly, leading to murmurs of agreement from those around her. “I want to hear more about them. They’re cool.”
“I want to hear more about us too,” the draconequus said. “We should really be getting on with that.”
Twilight frowned, but levitated her notecards into a neat stack. “I’ll go,” she said. “I understand I’m not welcome anyway. Diamond Tiara, you should come with me.”
Diamond Tiara just scoffed. “Why? They like me here!”
“Everypony here has brought chaos and destruction to Equestria!” Twilight argued. “A young filly has no business listening to them. I know your father wouldn’t want you here.”
“Well, too bad, I’m staying,” Diamond Tiara said, crossing her forelegs indignantly. She then found herself in the grip of the unicorn’s magic, being dragged out the door. “Come on, isn’t anyone going to like, help me?”
No one moved. Twilight pulled the little filly towards the door, but before she managed to exit, she tripped over a stray hoof. Diamond Tiara was released and ran back to her seat.
Twilight picked herself up and magically brushed off the dirt on her coat. “Did you just trip me?” she asked the unicorn next to her.
“Trixie has no idea what you’re talking about.” But the mare wore a satisfied grin on her face.
Twilight just sighed and headed out the door alone. “Princess Celestia needs to know about this.”
A pale yellow pegasus paced outside the meeting center. When Twilight Sparkle came storming out, looking all too annoyed with the villains inside, the pegasus jumped and tried to hide behind the nearest tree.
“Fluttershy, it’s all right,” Twilight said. “None of them are coming out.”
Fluttershy cautiously stepped out into the open. “Do I still have to talk to them?”
Twilight shook her head. “As much as I’d hoped a lecture would inspire them to pursue scientific study, it seems they’re not interested. They won’t want to hear about the cockatrice.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Can we go home now?”
“Yes,” Twilight said. “I need to have Spike write a letter to Princess Celestia.”
Inside, the villains were restless. Diamond Tiara was fawning over Trixie for ‘saving’ her from Twilight, and everyone else was just eager to get on with the stories. Twilight had just been an unwelcome interruption.
While a draconequus and a changeling argued over who had caused the most damage to Equestria, a trio of diamond dogs stepped up to speak.
“We faced the ponies!” Rover exclaimed. “We made the white one hunt gems for us, and the other ponies took her away.”
The others began to be quiet. Rover continued.
--
We saw the dragon first. The dragon was hunting gems. We hunt gems, but we grow tired of the searching. The dragon was digging up many gems. We wanted the dragon.
We watched the dragon and we see the pony. The pony is the hunter, the dragon only digs. We don’t need another digger. We need a hunter.
Pony did not want to come with us. We chased her. We caught her but the dragon escaped. It didn’t matter. We had the pony.
Pony found many gems for us but did not want to dig. We made her dig. Pony is not a good digger. We made her haul the wagon instead.
Pony whined! Ooh, she whined so much! We hated the noise. We would do anything to stop the noise! Pony didn’t dig or haul wagon, but she was quiet. We called her Miss Rarity and she was quiet.
But we are dogs! Ponies do not order dogs around! We made pony work anyways. She kept making the horrible noises, but she had to work! Pony still didn’t work.
The other ponies came to take pony away. They fought our guards and they couldn’t guard for weeks! The ponies took the whiny pony away and we finally had quiet. But we lost our hunter and our gems!
The ponies are selfish! They whine instead of work and steal gems! Ponies do not order dogs, and ponies should remember that!
--
“Is that it?” Nightmare Moon asked when Rover had finished.
He nodded emphatically, and Fido chimed in, “Ponies took our gems!”
The alicorn sighed. “Has anyone actually fought these ponies besides me?” A claw and a hoof went in the air. Nightmare Moon just shook her head. “I suppose we should meet again next week.”
“Why did you start this group, anyway?” the draconequus asked Nightmare Moon at the beginning of the next meeting.
“I’m not sure anymore,” she replied honestly. “I suppose I wanted to gather those of us who have faced the Elements to find their weaknesses. With more knowledge, we perhaps could defeat them.”
“You mean, you could defeat them?”
Nightmare Moon glanced sideways at the mismatched creature beside her. “Yes. I meant that.”
The draconequus just smiled and snapped his talons. He appeared at the front of the room to speak, and a yellow balloon with a fanged smiley face appeared tied around Nightmare Moon’s hoof.
--
DISCORD’S STORY
I’m sure you all know of the time when I ruled Equestria. At least, you old ponies might remember. I led the world in delicious chaos, until I was turned to stone.
Do you know what being stone is like? You are alive and thinking. You know when time passes and you can’t do anything but stand there and stew in your own brain. So of course I’m a little crazy now. I wouldn’t wish that torture on the most troublesome of ponies.
I was able to spread just a little chaos to the area around me. It wasn’t much, but it was fun to hear ponies arguing instead of their usual sappy friendship. I quite honestly had no idea how it would affect ponies already corrupted by chaos.
Those little fillies released me. I stayed stone until they were gone. Coming out in front of a group of foals would mean Celestia turning me to stone again. I was finally free, and Equestria was once again ripe for a little disharmony.
It was better to start small. A little chocolate rain, a few bizarre animals. Corn to popcorn. I would need that popcorn to watch the show later. I spread the rain across Equestria, but I stayed in Canterlot. I had some unfinished business with Celestia.
It was too easy to enter the castle. I made myself part of the stained glass windows, an easy way to watch the throne room. Really, Celestia should have had some better security. She should have known stone doesn’t last forever.
It surprised me more than it should have to realize Celestia no longer controlled the Elements of Harmony. Her sister was missing somewhere. She brought six young ponies to the throne room. In Celestia’s long-winded explanation of me, I learned the six were the new embodiments of the Elements. I also had time to steal the Elements from their safe. Celestia really relied too much on that stone prison.
I made up some riddle that meant nothing to taunt the ponies. They would be fun to play with. They decided my riddle was leading them to the labyrinth in the gardens. They were making it too easy.
I took their wings and horns, just to make things a bit harder for them. If they could fly over the labyrinth and see the Elements weren’t there, what would be the fun in that? They panicked, and that allowed me to see into their minds and learn about each of these element bearers.
Honest Applejack would be the easiest target. The truth is harsh, after all. I simply needed to show her this fact and she was willing to listen to me.
I didn’t do anything to poor Pinkie Pie. I only told her the truth as well: that her friends were laughing at her. She was the only one who had enjoyed my wonderful chaos. It was only fair I share a little more with her.
Generous Rarity was not as accepting. She wanted the large diamond I showed her, but wouldn’t admit it to herself. All right, the diamond was less of a gem than she believed it was, but she still wanted it. She loved that rock when she got it. She even gave it a name.
Kind Fluttershy. I gave up on her. She was too weak to be angry that she was weak. One tap on the head and she was like the others. You didn’t think I need to convince ponies to join me, did you?
All that was left was the loyal Rainbow Dash. I had plans for Twilight later. Interestingly, the element of loyalty wasn’t loyal to her friends. I only needed to show her what was happening in Cloudsdale—or what could be happening, and she was willing to take back her wings and break the rules. Of course, this meant that all the ponies had to forfeit my game. It was fun, while it lasted, but spreading my chaos across Equestria was much more important.
Of course, they weren’t so happy about losing, but fair is fair. At least, when I say it is. The ponies made their way back to their little Ponyville, but I wasn’t making that easy for them. It’s fun to skate on a soap-slicked road, after all.
I made it too easy for them to find the Elements. Really, Twilight should have seen that it was on purpose. Putting the Elements of Harmony in the reference book on the Elements of Harmony? Clearly I had some devious plot in mind.
Or I was too busy turning Cloudsdale literally upside down to notice. When you’re that high off the ground, the pegasi really don’t know up from down.
Not that it mattered. They had their necklaces, but I had made sure they weren’t the Element bearers anymore. Now nopony was. The trinkets couldn’t hurt me.
I’ll admit I was surprised when the Elements seemed like they were working. I hadn’t expected them to get to the point of glowing. But they failed, of course, and those ponies split up. Perfect.
I had hoped Twilight Sparkle might be swayed by the beautiful chaos. Celestia’s own student using her magic against her. It wasn’t a plan so much as an idea, but it would have been wonderful to see.
But, Twilight followed her former friends in losing her Element. This worked too.
I’m not entirely sure what happened to the Element bearers next—they weren’t the bearers then, after all. I was busy giving a unicorn hands. She actually enjoyed them more than I intended, but at least she scared a few earth ponies.
I was relaxing among my chaos, planning to return to Canterlot to raise the sun a few more times in a minute while Celestia would be forced to watch, when the ponies came back to me. They weren’t so grey anymore, but I wasn’t worried.
Then, their necklaces began to work. I’m still not sure how they managed that. Twilight had said something about using the magic of friendship, but friendships will fade. The powerful Celestia had lost her friendship with her sister. These ponies couldn’t possibly be friends forever.
I was returned to my stone prison for what will likely be another thousand years.
--
“If you’ve been trapped in stone, how are you here?” Trixie asked.
“I’m not,” Discord said. “Physically, anyways. But with the evil in the room, there’s enough chaos in your minds for me to enter.”
“So we’re all just imagining you?” Diamond Tiara asked. “That’s like, so weird.”
Discord just snapped his talons again and the filly’s nose turned to a pig’s snout. She screamed, he snapped, and she was back to normal. “It’s not just imagination,” he said.
Nightmare Moon smiled. This creature was what she had been looking for in starting the group.
No one else volunteered to speak after Discord. There seemed to be a sense of who could top that? in the room. The creatures roamed around, mingling with each other, talking about Equestria at large as well as the Elements of Harmony.
Diamond Tiara, still sore about Discord’s little joke, sat in the corner rubbing her nose with one hoof and holding an old gingerbread pony in the other. The cookie had gone stale since last Hearth’s Warming Eve, but it was her favorite kind of cookie and she kept one in her saddlebag for emergencies.
As she bit into the treat, a chill filled the room. Beings of pure white galloped into the space, dancing a circle above the heads of the dragons. Snow fell from the ceiling.
“Speaking of chaos,” Discord remarked. “It seems none of you are up to talking now, so I suppose I’ll tell the story for my old friends here.”
He held a cupped claw up to the falling snow, letting it form into a tall glass of water, which he delicately sipped before speaking.
--
THE WINDIGOS’ STORY
Thousands of years ago, before Nightmare Moon, before Celestia, even before I came to power, the Windigos were the guiding force of Equestria. These spirits fed off of disharmony and fostered it into the cold winter.
They found the early pony tribes and their precarious peace, and they fed. The snow made the ponies argue even more. The leader of each tribe met to try and compromise. But ponies are selfish, as you should all know well. Spurred by the bitter cold, the leaders each decided to leave their land and seek somewhere warmer. They thought they each came up with the idea independently, but the cold can alter a pony’s mind. The Windigos had more influence than anypony today knows.
The ponies arrived at their warm land, and of course the Windigos followed. Even without their influence, the ponies soon argued again, and the snow and cold could spread. The spirits chased the ponies into a nearby cave, and began to freeze them to death. Three were frozen solid, arguing all the way.
But as the ice creeped over the last ponies, those three began to laugh. The Windigoes tried to foster more hate and bitterness in them, but they kept laughing. The unicorn, who apparently bore an uncanny resemblance to our Twilight Sparkle, created a spell that repelled the cold and hatred alike. The Windigos were forced from the cave and away from Equestria.
Of course, that spell couldn’t last forever. The Windigos have returned time and again to feed on the disharmony among the ponies. Friendship can’t overcome everything. Evil—we will never be completely defeated.
--
As quickly as they had come, the Windigos whinnied and galloped out the entrance to the building. The temperature rose.
There was silence in the room. Those old enough to remember the Windigos, Discord and Nightmare Moon, understood that they were one of the first evils in the world. Until the Elements of Harmony were defeated, nopony could surpass them.
The next meeting started with two unicorns passing mugs of cider to the others in the room. The ponies took the mugs easily, and couldn’t help but laugh at the dragons dangling the handle off a claw or the diamond dogs clumsily wrapping their paws around the mugs. The two unicorns smiled as everyone tried the cider, and murmured that it was “pretty good”.
“This cider brought to you courtesy of Flim Flam Fields!” one unicorn announced.
“Owned and operated by the world famous Flim Flam Brothers!” the other unicorn, distinguishable from his brother by his mustache, added.
“Of course, we don’t own the fields yet, per se,” Flim admitted.
“But we have the machine-“
“And soon the profits!” His face darkened. “But there were those ponies.”
“Those Apples.” Flam frowned. “And their friends.”
“They ruined our plans!” Flim slammed his front hooves down on the seat of a nearby chair before he continued.
--
FLIM AND FLAM’S STORY
We are not conponies. We have a good, honest trade. We invented this wonderful machine that can make cider faster than anypony! And it’s delicious, too.
We traveled across Equestria, from Fillydelphia to Trottingham, just plying our trade. We would strike up an agreement with local apple farmers. They sell us the apples, and we sell the town the cider. We stayed for a few weeks each cider season before moving on.
It worked out best for everypony, until we got to Ponyville. Cider season was just starting that year, and we knew the best place to go was an orchard owned by the Apples. We’d worked with other branches of the family before, and they were almost always willing to work with us. There was a bit of trouble in Appleoosa when the buffalo rioted over our cider…but everywhere else, ponies have loved it.
When we saw that the poor ponies of Ponyville didn’t have enough cider to go around, we decided to change our marketing strategy. We could bring everypony in with some samples of the cider and a demonstration of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 7000—6000 then—and split the profits instead of paying for the apples.
The Apple family didn’t agree with our proposed profit plan. They thought our cider wouldn’t taste as good. Their granny gave it a try, but she refused to admit that it was indeed delicious. Not that it mattered—we still had the apples from our demonstration and could sell some cider with those. Once those Apples saw how we could outsell them, they would agree to our partnership.
The next day, the Apples sold out of cider, as they always would. Then we came in and started to sell our leftover stock. Those Apples refused to allow it, so we did have to challenge them to keep our selling rights. We are businessponies, and we know a good contest will drum up attention.
We rested up the night before the contest, but of course we weren’t going to lose. We are in the cider business, after all. We make more barrels of cider in an hour than any apple farmer can make in a day.
The contest was in our favor at first. Then those Apples decided to cheat. My brother here allowed it. I know—he wasn’t paying attention. We were going to win until then.
The Apples weren’t our only opponents in the end. We were making cider against the Apples and the Elements! Two unicorns against a family of earth ponies is fair. Two unicorns against a group of friends of all the races is not!
We had to skip quality control in order to win. And of course, we want to reassure you that this is not something we plan to do again—your cider is perfectly safe, folks. But our tactic worked, and that’s what mattered. We were the legal and rightful owners of Sweet Apple Acres.
Unfortunately, our lack of quality control resulted in a bad batch of cider. The first barrels we made were perfectly good, but everypony refused to try them. It didn’t matter that we were the legal owners of the apple fields. The ponies wouldn’t spend one bit on our cider, and we were forced to move on to the next town.
We’ve never had trouble selling our cider anywhere else. We’re bringing in those bits, and when there’s enough, we will own Sweet Apple Acres again.
--
“So you see, we would have Flim Flam Farms by now,” Flim told the crowd, who’d tossed their empty cider mugs on the ground and across the room.
“But those ponies cheated!” Flam added, stomping a hoof on the ground.
Flim just nodded, and then waved his hoof in an arc towards the audience. “You all have been cheated too! The Elements of Harmony are nothing but a bunch of no-good, dirty, cheating liars!”
There was a murmur in the room as the others realized just how right the brothers were.
“If you would like to help fund our revenge against the Apples, we’ll be passing around our hats,” Flim said, taking the hat off his head in unison with his brother.
Nightmare Moon stood before the hats could be handed off. “I think perhaps it is time for somepony else to speak.”
A minotaur was the one who stood up next. Just moments after Flim and Flam had finished, he threw his cider mug to the ground. “You ponies are weak! Iron Will wouldn’t let anypony push him around like that! If they make you sell bad cider, crush them like a spider!”
Flim eagerly held out his hat to the minotaur while Nightmare Moon raised an eyebrow. “If nopony pushes you around, then why are you here?”
“Iron Will met the Elements of Harmony once! And they owe Iron Will money!” The minotaur struck a pose to show off his muscles. Eye of the Manticore started blasting from some hidden speakers as Iron Will started speaking.
--
IRON WILL’S STORY
My name is Iron Will, and I am the best motivational speaker in Equestria! Thousands of ponies and other creatures have benefited from my one day seminar! Iron Will pumps ponies up with powerful mottos like ‘If somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!’
Fine. Iron Will knows when the crowd isn’t pumped up. This isn’t one of Iron Will’s seminars, so I’ll just tell you the story. Iron Will was just trying to give some background. Cut the music.
Iron Will went to Ponyville as part of my Doormats into Dynamos tour. I knew about the Elements of Harmony, but Iron Will respects the ponies who saved Equestria and didn’t think they would be at Iron Will’s seminar.
Iron Will always looks for a challenge to prove that Iron Will’s method works! So Iron Will picks the most cowardly pony at his seminar! In Ponyville, it was Fluttershy. That pony needed all the help she could get!
Iron Will gave her just a few of Iron Will’s patented exercises, and that pony was aggressive when Iron Will left the stage! Everypony in the audience was convinced! We made a decent profit on the assertiveness video sales.
Iron Will had a few days to rest in Ponyville, and was able to watch the ponies reap the benefits of Iron Will’s seminar. Fluttershy improved by a thousand percent! But when Iron Will had to leave Ponyville, she still hadn’t paid.
Iron Will went to demand his money back from Fluttershy. She was aggressive, and it was because of Iron Will! Iron Will talked to some of Fluttershy’s friends. The pink one cheated Iron Will into giving Fluttershy an extra day to collect the money. Iron Will should have figured out all the Elements ponies are cheaters!
But Fluttershy was there, so Iron Will wanted to collect the money right then! Fluttershy told Iron Will she wasn’t satisfied and wouldn’t pay. Iron Will got angry! But, Iron Will is a reasonable minotaur, and was willing to work out something with Fluttershy. She refused to pay at all and made Iron Will leave Ponyville!
Fluttershy lied about being satisfied! She became more assertive because of Iron Will’s patented techniques, but still wouldn’t pay! Iron Will is going back to Ponyville someday, and Fluttershy’s going to learn that if you cheat me out of cash, I’m going to kick your—
--
“That’s a bad word,” Diamond Tiara said as Iron Will finished his story. “Dad won’t tell me what it means, but you’re not supposed to say it.”
Silver Spoon leaned over to her friend and whispered something.
Diamond Tiara sagely nodded. “Oh.”
Nightmare Moon just sighed. “Did you think about kicking her-“ she glanced to the fillies “-flank then?”
“Well, no,” Iron Will admitted. “Iron Will was distracted because he was owed his money.”
Nightmare Moon nodded. “I see. Another one of you villains who’s never bothered to fight the Elements.”
“Not all of us have been around for a thousand years,” Trixie said sullenly. “Fighting one of the Elements isn’t enough for you? It’s enough for Trixie to feel she should be included!”
The alicorn stood from her seat, and headed to the door. “Next week, everyone.”
The next week, no one was prepared to speak. The creatures around the room were roughly gathered into two groups: the ponies and the other beings. Nightmare Moon was standing somewhere between them, as she really didn’t belong to either group.
She headed to the other creatures side as the diamond dogs started growling at a group of dragons. The dragons had stolen a pile of gems and were sitting on it, casually tossing the brightly colored stones to each other to catch in their mouths. The diamond dogs had gone down on all fours and let their animal nature come out through vicious barks and growls.
Nightmare Moon was not in the mood to break up a fight, but she was also not in the mood to listen to these creatures squabble, either. She again summoned what she once called the Royal Canterlot Voice. “CEASE THIS BICKERING AT ONCE!”
Both groups quieted. The rest of the room watched them.
Nightmare Moon turned to the dragons. “You haven’t shared your story yet. Speak.”
“And for Celestia’s sake, make it interesting!” Gilda added, without looking up from the claw she was picking at.
--
So, my name’s Garble. This here’s Rumble and Jet.
…and that’s Crackle.
Anyways, we’re dragons. Duh. We hang out with other dragons and never really talk to those wimpy ponies. Except last year’s migration, when we passed by Ponyville and that little peewee dragon from there tried to join us.
We all knew he wasn’t part of our clan, and when he said he was from Ponyville, we had to have a little fun with him. Little Spike was too tiny to do anything. He couldn’t even belch right! Somehow he got a letter from that pony princess instead of a real burp.
So we tried tail wrestling. I figured any one of us could take on the peewee. But Crackle’s cousin was the one who tried. Hey Crackle, what’s your cousin’s name?
Right, that guy doesn’t talk.
Anyways, little Spike beat Crackle’s cousin, which probably wasn’t too hard. A hatchling could have beaten him. So Jet tried, and you beat him good, Jet! Little pony dragon was starting to get that he didn’t belong with us.
We gave him one last chance, ‘cause honestly, the pipsqueak was starting to get hurt. We’re dragons, not monsters. He might’ve been a little guy, but if we weren’t going to let him hang out we would have kicked him out already.
We wanted him to cannonball into the lava, but little Spike couldn’t even do that. He bellyflopped in the lava, smack! Had to hurt. But if the little guy could do something tough as that, we figured he could be one of us.
We hung out for a while, partied a while. It was cool. But when it got late, we got bored. The migration isn’t fun, hanging around with our families all day. We needed some time away from the nest. So we invited Spike on a raid.
Okay, raids are awesome. We go out and find some phoenix eggs and smash them. Phoenixes aren’t as rare as ponies think, they were all over the woods by that nest. We weren’t gonna smash all the eggs, just enough to annoy some pesky phoenixes.
But of course, Spike wimped out. Shouldn’t have expected anything else from a dragon that’s part pony. He only got one egg, and then didn’t even want to smash it! His pony friends showed up then—I think Crackle’s cousin was hiding them—and protected him. Look, I was mad, but I wasn’t about to hurt the little guy. If he’s a real dragon, then getting a little scratched up wouldn’t be anything.
So those ponies took Spike back, and Spike took the phoenix egg. We never saw him again, and it’s better that way. That little pony didn’t belong with us.
--
“What the hay did that have to do with the ponies?” Gilda asked.
“Spike was the Element of Loyalty for a brief time,” Discord said.
Nightmare Moon sighed. She seemed to be doing that a lot. “Another one of you didn’t bother facing the actual elements. Why are you here?”
“Look, just because Spike’s not one of those namby-pamby ponies doesn’t mean he wasn’t a threat,” Garble argued. “We let him hang with us. We don’t let anyone hang with us.”
“Yeah, and their sisters are a threat too!” Diamond Tiara said. “It’s not just those six!”
Nightmare Moon glanced at the rest of the assorted creatures, many of whom were nodding their assent. “I have not stopped any stories yet,” she said. “I don’t think I will start now.”
“I suppose it might be time for someone who has faced the Elements to speak,” a changeling said in a bored tone. She sat at the side of the room, lesser changelings surrounding her. “Although, we may have been speaking already.”
In a flash of green, the two changelings closest to her changed their forms to a griffon and a dragon. Another flash, and they changed back.
“That wasn’t you,” Gilda said irritably.
“No, it wasn’t,” the changeling queen conceded. “But I had to show you that even my subjects are more powerful than you, all of you. Once you understand our power, you may understand our story.”
--
QUEEN CHRYSALIS’S STORY
My subjects and I have no land of our own. We create a hive where we find food. When the food is gone, so are we. We are sure that we never truly devastate a feeding ground—ponies have a remarkable capacity for creating new love, as long as they remain alive. We settle and feed for months, perhaps years, before letting the ponies resume their lives, now devoid of love. Other creatures, we will simply devour them before moving on. Ponies are unique.
We came to Canterlot after we’d spent years in Hoofstralia. The large island of ponies was already independent from the rest of the world, and once we captured the pegasi and anypony who could sail, we were safe in the hive for as long as we had food.
Canterlot was different. We infiltrated slowly. My subjects waited in the clouds outside the city while I found the perfect target to capture. I took the form of many castle servants, examining the princesses. Celestia was too visible to the public eye. Luna was not visible enough. But then there was Mi Amore Cadenza, the little princess hidden away until her wedding day. Only her husband to be would know she had been replaced, and one stallion was easy to control.
I had heard from listening to Celestia and Luna that underneath the palace lie the crystal caves, sealed and untouched since the princesses themselves were small. They could not even remember where the entrance was. Luckily, I have access to a bit of the same magic as unicorns. I transported myself into the caves. They were perfect.
It wasn’t hard to capture the princess and seal her underground. Once I took her form, I was able to gain limited access to her memories, enough to reassure her fiancé that nothing unusual was going on. I could not understand why a princess would choose to marry a lowly unicorn, but he provided enough delicious love to my persona that I didn’t care.
I relished for a few days, gorging on the love in the city until I was near to bursting. But my poor subjects were starving. Late one night, I flew to the clouds to let them know they could come and feed, a few at a time.
I hadn’t realized the recluse Luna shied away from the crowds of day because she ruled the night. She saw me in my true form returning to Canterlot, and she saw a number of my hungriest subjects follow. I managed to regain Cadenza’s form before I was found, but my subjects were not as lucky.
Ponies, for all their love, can be the cruelest of creatures. When I cried for my subjects, Shining Armor only saw tears from his bride to be. He ran to the Princesses with claims of a threat against Canterlot, and created a shield of energy around the city. His attempt might have worked, had I not already been inside.
When we talked that night, me playing the loving fiancée, he mentioned his sister might be able to help with the invasion. She was one of the Elements of Harmony. I had faced the Elements once before, centuries ago, and I had heard they were lost to the ponies. I panicked, and in the panic, attacked Shining Armor. I had taken just enough love to regain my senses when I stopped. He had no memory of what he’d been talking about, and I claimed casting a spell to cure the headache that he now had.
Unfortunately, his sister arrived the very next day, along with her friends, the other Elements. I should have remembered that ponies have a sentimental need for family on days they consider ‘special’. This wedding to Shining Armor, although a banquet of love for me, was a nuisance for the rest of my subjects.
Twilight Sparkle, the supposed Element of Magic, recognized me. My limited access to Cadenza’s memories didn’t tell me that she was once her foalsitter. Twilight began doing an odd dance that I could not imitate. I simply treated her as I would treat one of my lesser subjects—not worth my time. Her disappointment was sour, but Shining Armor was still providing all the love I needed. I just had to be careful not to take too much at a time. The headaches were starting to overwhelm him.
I treated all of the Elements the same way. Disdain, with just enough fake politeness that they would not know I wasn’t the true Cadenza. They continued to call me Cadance, some nickname for the princess I did not know, and I demanded they call me by Cadenza’s true name. It was all I could respond to.
That night, I had a fight with Shining Armor. It was a mistake. He’d asked to wear a sash for the wedding, and, acting as a princess bride to be should, I told him no. The ponies consider the wedding to be the bride’s day, and the groom should have made no decisions. He went behind my back and showed off the sash to Twilight, despite my objection. I took more love than usual from Shining Armor that night—a mistake, because his sister saw.
I had to convince the pony that she hadn’t seen what she thought. I left Shining Armor and rushed to find the other Elements. They had fallen so sincerely for my act that they would do anything I asked. Cadenza’s old bridesmaids knew her too well, and so I’d hidden them in the caves the first chance I could. This left an opening for new bridesmaids—a role the Elements would fit nicely.
The next day, it appeared my plan had worked perfectly. Twilight accused me of being evil, and no one believed her. If they were smart, they would have. I played the dumb little princess, crying at the terrible accusation and fleeing the room. Outside the hall, I could hear them yelling at Twilight. Perfect.
I went back to Twilight once she was alone. She had proven to be too much of a threat. For a moment, she acted as though she believed my disguise, but I couldn’t trust her. I brought her to the caves.
When she awoke underground, I was down with her. I taunted her for a while, letting her know that she was right and there was nothing she could do about it. Cadenza was sealed. Twilight was trapped. I had won.
I retired to Cadenza’s room. The wedding was about to begin. The sky was clouded with my subjects waiting for the shield to dissipate. The threats against me had vanished. The day was going to be perfect.
I walked down the aisle, going through the motions of the wedding. As soon as Shining Armor and I retired to our home, I would be draining him of all his love, enough to destroy the shield that surrounded the city. My subjects would finally be free to feed.
But then the real Cadenza appeared, tailed by that pesky Twilight. She knew exactly what I was. I should have figured a princess would have learned about our changeling race. The ponies had forgotten about us, but the princesses who lived for centuries would of course remember.
Not that it mattered. They were too late. Shining Armor and his shield were weak. In a last attempt to save the precious ponies, Celestia herself tried to fight me. She’d been exhausted from protecting her kingdom, and I was strong with the love Shining Armor still gave me. I brushed her aside with ease. The ponies were shocked, as if no one could touch their princess. Fools.
I drained the last bit of love from Shining Armor. He became useless, and so did his shield. My subjects swarmed the city, feeding as much as they could. Ponies were captured and drained. Perhaps a few of them went too far, but I could not blame my poor subjects. They had been hungry for far longer than they had known. I sealed Celestia and Cadenza in the throne room, rendering them unable to stop us.
I directed a few of the stronger changelings to guard the Elements of Harmony, which the bearers would attempt to use to stop us. They managed to effectively barricade the Elements’ hiding place and capture the bearers, even taking a few nips of love as they took the form of their friends. The Element bearers were returned to me.
Cadenza had somehow escaped her trap. She gave Shining Armor love, enough to revive him, but not enough to strengthen his magic. She claimed her love would strengthen his magic enough to defeat me and my subjects—a ridiculous thought, coming from just a little pony. It took me days to take Shining Armor’s love, and I am the Queen of the changelings. Perhaps in a few years, he would have enough love to cast us out, but we would have fed our fill by then.
I don’t know how Cadenza did it. Her love had more power than I had ever known a pony to possess. Looking back, perhaps I should have taken Shining Armor’s form and fed on Cadenza, but I couldn’t reconsider my plan as the barrier returned, forcing myself and my subjects out of the city.
We were thrown to the badlands south of Equestria. But we’d taken enough love to continue to survive, and we found ourselves very near a country full of unsuspecting burros. Not as loving as ponies, but we would not starve. We would survive, and we will return.
--
“That had nothing to do with the Elements of Harmony. Trixie fought the Elements more directly!”
“You got in a yelling match with one of them and ran away,” Gilda pointed out.
“Princess Candenza is now related to the Element of Magic,” Chrysalis reminded her audience. “If you forget that, you will forget a powerful ally to your enemies.”
“I don’t believe you,” Diamond Tiara said stubbornly. “Your story was good but then it was really boring. There’s no such thing as love having power.”
“Poor little foal,” Chrysalis said with a wide grin. “If you don’t believe in its power, then you would not mind if I took some from you. I am hungry, after all.”
The filly’s eyes widened. “No, no, I believe you!”
Chrysalis glanced around the room. “Does anyone else doubt my story?”
The next meeting began with all the creatures gathered around a fresh barrel of apple cider from Sweet Apple Acres. Even Discord could appreciate the sweetness of the cider, stealthily procured by Diamond Tiara for her new friends.
“Applejack made me promise that I wouldn’t see you anymore, but I lied!” the filly said gleefully. “Silver Spoon helped me bring it here.”
Flim and Flam were the only ones not to participate in sharing the drink.
The room suddenly darkened, and a smoke crept across the floor. Green eyes opened against the shapeless black fog, and a low voice rumbled through the room. “Crystals…”
“Can’t even enjoy good cider before someone starts yakking,” Gilda grumbled.
Nightmare Moon, similarly annoyed, made a gesture towards the smoke. “Go on, then.”
The eyes glowed, and every creature in the room could suddenly see the story unfolding in front of them.
--
The school didn’t look much different from other schools in Equestria, besides the fact that it was constructed from pure crystal. The fillies and colts playing in the front yard were crystalline as well, reflected even in the shape of their eyes. This was normal life in the Crystal Empire.
A young colt stood in front of the school, in awe of the gleam coming from everything and everyone around him. He noticed that he was the only one without gem eyes, and the only one with a horn on top of his dark head. His parents had named him Sombra, and everypony had always said he was unusual. This first day of school was the first time he understood just how true that was.
A unicorn had never been born in the Crystal Empire, as far as anyone could remember. They all knew of unicorns hailing from the southern kingdoms, but few had ever seen one. Sombra was an oddity. He should not have existed.
This first day of school was special because for the first time, he wasn’t just treated as a curiosity. He was treated like an outcast. The other foals jeered at him, pointed and laughed, even threw spitballs in class. At recess, one particularly mean-spirited colt threw a rock at him.
The rock hit Sombra in the horn, and he turned to face the colt who threw it, finally angry with this injustice. The unicorn’s eyes flashed a menacing green, his horn glowed, and suddenly the crystal colt had his feet slide out from under him. His head hit the ground and he began to cry.
Sombra just smiled. He didn’t exactly know what had happened, but the colt clearly deserved it.
From that point on, the young unicorn practiced his magic. He had no magic tutor, not even a book about magic in the Crystal Library. That first spark of magic had come from anger, and that was how he continued practicing. He visualized bad things happening to the ponies that teased him, and those things would happen to a ball or book in his room.
He started using his powers on his classmates, and the bullying quickly stopped. Sombra’s classmates grew afraid of him. The unicorn was treated as the king of the school, demanding his classmates do his homework and chores for him. His parents and teachers laughed, thinking it was just a childhood game.
When Sombra was older, he grew rebellious against his parents. He had come to realize that no crystal pony was immune to the harm he could bring them, including the adults. He threatened his parents many times, but could never follow through. In his heart, he still thought that they loved him as much as he loved them.
When he graduated, top of his class as he’d magically changed his grades, he overheard his parents talking to some of the other teachers. They complained that it had been difficult raising such an unusual child.
His mother used the word ‘freak’.
Sombra tapped into a power he hadn’t yet discovered. It was as if his heart had been removed from his body and replaced with pure, undiluted hatred. He screamed, and darkness engulfed the Crystal Empire. Their precious Crystal Heart vanished.
The crystalline coats of the ponies dulled. Their eyes lost their sparkle.
Sombra ruled for the next hundred years, using his spells to keep him alive much longer than any other pony. He outlived his parents, and then his classmates. He commanded the crystal ponies to bring him the crystals that they found. Crystals were the one thing that still shone with light in his new dark world, and he wanted to keep them for himself.
Then, his wonderful shadowed kingdom was attacked. Alicorns from the south tried to rescue the crystal ponies. They were the only creatures Sombra had met whose power rivaled his own. With ease, they removed his magical essence from his body. His physical form crumbled into the dust he should have been years ago. Sombra, now pure shadow, managed to cast one more spell—escape. He took his kingdom with him into the farthest place he could imagine. They traveled through time.
It was over a millennium for the rest of the world, but only an instant for Sombra and his subjects when they appeared once more. The unicorn was still incorporeal, and unable to overpower the ponies. Their crystal shine hadn’t been restored, so they walked around in a dull haze. Sombra watched.
A new alicorn from the south arrived in the empire. Sombra was far more interested in watching her husband—another unicorn. The white stallion was the only creature Sombra had seen that was like him. Bu he was unable to watch the unicorn for long before he created a spell that pushed Sombra out of his kingdom.
He waited outside the barrier, until the white unicorn emerged. Sombra tried to engulf him with his shadow, but the unicorn and six brightly colored companions ran too fast. Sombra managed to touch his horn, and felt a spark of magic that he hadn’t felt since losing his body. He could control this unicorn from that one touch.
He slowly broke down the shield and crept into the Crystal Empire, sowing darkness along the way. The ponies were becoming bright and crystalline again, but those crystals belonged to him. But as his shadow crawled towards the palace, he could feel his sanctuary within the palace invaded. Years before, he’d set traps to ensure that nopony could reach there, as that was where he had hidden the Crystal Heart. Yet there was one pony now making their way inside.
Once Sombra broke down the shield, he rushed to the top of the palace. As he got closer, his smoky shadow began to form into the shape of the proud unicorn he had once been. He felt himself becoming solid. Once he had the Crystal Heart, snatched it from the clutches of the falling dragon, then he would be have his full power again.
But then he was blindsided by the alicorn princess. She appeared suddenly, as if someone had thrown her there, to catch the dragon and the Heart. She restored the Heart to its podium, and the crystal ponies brightened. Every last one of them lost their dullness. The wave of light rushed across the empire, pushing back Sombra and destroying his body once more. He was doomed to powerless shadow for all eternity.
--
The shadows slunk from the room with another hiss of “Crystals…”
No one in the room was quite sure what to say. Flim and Flam both grabbed mugs of cider and in unison took long swigs.
“I remember him,” Nightmare Moon commented. “He found the same kind of dark magic that Luna found. When she faced him, I was able to find her.”
“Trixie would like being the only unicorn in Equestria,” the magician mused.
“There would still be creatures more powerful than you,” Chrysalis warned.
The group turned to look at a small brown filly standing in the doorway. “What are you doing here?” Diamond Tiara asked. “Shouldn’t you be with the rest of the blank flanks?”
The filly frowned. “We were friends, Diamond Tiara. And that’s why I’m here. I was a bully, and Apple Bloom said I should come here and talk about that.”
“How did she find out about this?” Silver Spoon wondered.
“Her big sis told her. She said everypony in town knows. And then she said something about Princess Celestia coming here, so I came ‘cause I wanted t’meet the princess.”
The creatures looked at each other, some in fear, some in anticipation. Nightmare Moon just smiled. Let the princess come.
“So while I was here, I figured I might as well talk,” the filly continued. “Okay?”
--
BABS SEED’S STORY
My mom sent me to visit my cousin Applejack in Ponyville. She thought I should get outta the city for a while, ‘cause I was being teased for bein’ a blank flank. She said cousin Applejack had a sister who’s also a blank flank. I thought it might be fun.
I mean, Apple Bloom and her friends were kinda cool, but they wanted me to join their club ‘cause I was a blank flank, and I didn’t want to do that. ‘Cause no one in Ponyville knew me yet and I didn’t want to get teased for bein’ a blank flank again. They were excited about not havin’ cutie marks, and I didn’t want to be like that.
Then these two fillies came by and started making fun of Apple Bloom and her friends. Actually, it was those two right there. I guess they’re bullies, but when I saw them, I just thought they were the cool foals in Ponyville. So I started making fun of Apple Bloom too. It was kind of fun to be mean for once. No one was making fun of me, so it was okay. And I didn’t really know Apple Bloom, so it didn’t matter that she’s my cousin.
I figured that I had to spend some time with Apple Bloom, ‘cause I was staying at her farm and all. So I followed her and her friends around, but I kept scaring them and stuff. Diamond Tiara thought it was cool, so I figured she was right, you know?
When I was hanging out with the girls, I mentioned that Apple Bloom and her friends had a clubhouse and they let me in before. So Diamond Tiara asked if I could get her and Silver Spoon in, because they didn’t have a clubhouse, and it wasn’t right that those blank flanks had one. I guess they didn’t realize I was a blank flank too, but I brought them to the clubhouse anyways.
I felt kind of bad kicking Apple Bloom out of the clubhouse. Applejack had told me that she’d fixed it up herself and everything. And Applejack had also made me take Apple Bloom’s bed and so she was sleepin’ on the floor, so I was taking a lot of stuff from my cousin. But I had friends now, so it was cool.
After that, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon started talking about all these inside jokes they had, and they were making a lot of fun of all blank flanks, so I thought they might start making fun of me too. I thought I had to do something to make them like me again.
So when Apple Bloom made this really cool float for the parade in town, I stole it. I know it wasn’t right, but I thought Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon would stay my friends if I let them on the float with me. I started driving in the parade, and it was really fun, at first.
Then an alarm started ringing out of nowhere, and I couldn’t steer anymore! The float was goin’ over a cliff! But then Apple Bloom and her friends saved me, even after I was being so mean to them.
They told me later that they’d made the float go off the cliff, but then saved me ‘cause Applejack told them I was bein’ bullied. I was kind of angry that she told them, but I wasn’t mad at Apple Bloom and her friends anymore. I did bad things too, and I was sorry too.
When I was leaving Ponyville, I ran into Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon again. I knew then that they’re not my friends. They was angry, but I told them that if they were mean to me again, I’d tell their moms. They’d be in trouble for weeks.
I like coming back to Ponyville now and visiting Apple Bloom, and I like bein’ a Cutie Mark Crusader. And I feel really bad that I was a bully. I don’t want to be mean, ever again!
--
“So, that explains why you suddenly turned into a loser,” Diamond Tiara said, before giggling with Silver Spoon.
Gilda sighed. “Can anyone tell me why we let these kids in here?”
“You said something about Celestia,” Nightmare Moon said, ignoring Gilda to speak directly to Babs. “Is your story your way of introducing her?”
The filly shrugged. “Nah. Applejack just said she might be here. I wanted to see her.”
“In that case, you have no business here,” Nightmare Moon said. “You are not one of us, and we have no interest in listening to playground stories only half related to the Elements.”
“Hey!” Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon chorused.
The mare ignored them as she stepped closer to Babs. She leaned down to meet her eye to eye. “Young filly, run. Get out of here before we remind you why Equestria considers us villains.”
Babs tried to hold her ground, but after a moment, turned and fled.
“See ya, blank flank!” Silver Spoon called after her.
“So like, wait,” Diamond Tiara said at the start of the next meeting. “I was totally part of that blank flank’s story. Could I tell more stories? Like, can we do that?”
“I see no reason why not,” Nightmare Moon conceded. “If anypony has another story to tell, so be it.”
“Trixie has a story.” The unicorn approached the center of the room. Her eyes had changed color to a glowing red, matching the eyes of the alicorn on the amulet she wore.
Nightmare Moon, one of the few old enough to recognize the necklace, narrowed her eyes. “How did you get that power?”
“I paid for it,” Trixie replied simply. “But this one is an illusion. The true amulet was stolen from Trixie by those ponies!”
As the fake amulet dissipated from her neck, Trixie began to tell her story.
--
Trixie knew that if she returned to Ponyville, she had to be victorious. Twilight Sparkle could not win again. That’s why Trixie acquired the Alicorn Amulet, a mystical object of great power. I had money to spare, with the insurance payout on my cart. Of course Trixie could have easily defeated Twilight Sparkle without the amulet, but it was important to be sure of Trixie’s victory.
Trixie announced her arrival in Ponyville with another impressive show of magic. Once more she challenged the citizens of Ponyville to match her power, and of course none of them could. Finally, Twilight showed up. Trixie offered her a challenge: if she couldn’t beat me in magic, and she couldn’t, then she would have to leave Ponyville forever. She accepted, as I knew she would. It took a bit of convincing, but she knew the challenge was the right choice.
I started with a few parlor tricks. Simple magic that Trixie could do even without the amulet, but of course Twilight struggled with it. And then Trixie used the power of the Alicorn Amulet to cast a powerful age spell on two colts, reducing one to a mere foal, and the other to a helpless old stallion! Twilight could never hope to match that power. She lost, and Trixie forced her out of Ponyville.
Trixie had control over Ponyville, but I needed the citizens to recognize this. Trixie used her powerful magic to force the ponies to obey her every whim. Trixie’s whims were admittedly odd, but Trixie was not to be questioned! There might have been some influence from the amulet, but this was still not to be questioned.
Controlling the city was tiring, and slow. The foals I had drag me around complained about the most insignificant things—it was hot, they were tired, it was hard to drag a chariot without wheels. Trixie paid them no mind.
It was almost—but not really--a welcome surprise when Twilight returned. I should have known her friends would bring her back. She claimed she had an amulet with far greater power than Trixie’s, and offered another challenge. Trixie knew this would be simple.
Somehow, Twilight could perform age spells, duplication spells, and even turned a mare into a stallion! It was impossible. Of course, Trixie could have done the same, if she had time to practice instead of dealing with the constant complaints from the citizens of Ponyville. Besides, Twilight had the other amulet. It was clearly the reason for her power, and Trixie knew she was the one who deserved it.
I took the amulet from her. This was a mistake. The amulet was a fake! Trixie, though still incredibly powerful, had lost all the original power of the Alicorn Amulet. All I could do was tickle the ponies.
Twilight explained how she had tricked me. She and her friends had managed to outwit Trixie, master of stage magic. I should have recognized every cheap trick she pulled.
To be honest, Trixie now respects Twilight. She may be limited in magical abilities, but her showmareship is impressive to fool Trixie. I did apologize to Twilight—but only because there is no one more humble than the Great and Apologetic Trixie!
--
“So, you’re on their side now?” Gilda asked. “That’s lame.”
“Trixie is on no one’s side!” the unicorn argued. “Trixie simply respects Twilight, but she is not her ally!”
“I fail to see how this story is any different from your first one,” Nightmare Moon said coldly. “While any of you are welcome to speak again, Trixie, you still appear to be nothing more than a braggart.”
“A braggart who got her hooves on the Alicorn Amulet,” Trixie retorted. “What have you done since your defeat?”
Every creature in the room looked away from Trixie, or at the ground. Only Discord kept her gaze, but said nothing.
“None of you are better than Trixie,” she said. “You know it’s true.”
“So, did all of you have these sort of battles with those ponies?” a teal pegasus asked.
“Not all of us,” Diamond Tiara said sullenly. “Most of them did.”
“This group was not created to judge, though that seems it is all we do,” Nightmare Moon said. “If you have faced the Elements, you may speak about them. Any information we know can help us all.”
The pegasus shrugged. “I was kind of friends with one of them for a little while, until she got me kicked out of Wonderbolts boot camp. That was my dream for years, and then that goody-goody ruined it for me.”
Gilda cocked her head at the mention of the Wonderbolts. “Are you talking about Dash?”
“That’s her,” the pegasus said. “She ruined everything.”
--
LIGHTNING DUST’S STORY
I was the first pegasus in Manetreal to be accepted to the Wonderbolts Academy. Even though it’s a big city, the Wonderbolts always passed us over, picking their candidates from Canterlot or Cloudsdale. But word came to us that they were accepting a mare from Ponyville, and if they’d go to that podunk little town, why not someone from my home? I’d sent in an application, but after hearing about Ponyville, I had to hope even more.
When the city heard that I’d been chosen, there was a huge celebration for me. The mayor gave me the key to the city. I wasn’t even a Wonderbolt yet, but I was the first one to get a chance to be one! I was determined to make it at any cost. Besides, I’m pretty awesome. I knew I’d be fine.
I was standing next to Rainbow Dash that first day. The other pegasi were weak and started crying when Spitfire got tough, but she stuck it out just like me. We were the only ones who could do 500 laps without breaking a sweat. I thought we’d be good friends. That night we compared our best pranks—she’d pulled an awesome one on this uptight unicorn friend of hers, but that couldn’t top my story of putting itching powder in my brother’s wingbrush. He couldn’t fly more than two feet without scratching himself sick!
The next day, Rainbow Dash and I got the best scores on the Dizzitron. I was a little slower at straightening myself out, but I had the Dizzitron set to so much higher, so really, we were about the same. So, the two of us got a break and got to watch everypony else fail. It was hilarious. Rainbow Dash and I figured that we should be made Wonderbolts right away. All we needed was Spitfire to notice us.
We got put on the same team for the rest of camp. I was the lead pony, of course, and Rainbow Dash was my wingpony. It was pretty awesome, putting the two best ponies together to make the best team. I knew we’d smoke everypony else. Rainbow Dash disappeared for a little bit after finding out she was my wingpony, but then she came back to the field ready to go.
So our first task as a team was to do a flag hunt. Rainbow Dash turned out to be great at spotting flags. I flew down as fast as I could to get them—I knew she could keep up, so I didn’t have to hold back for her. So it surprised me when she whined a little bit about her wing hurting. She should have been able to get over a little pain and kept being awesome. But we won, so it was okay.
The next day, we had to do this air obstacle course. It was so easy, but we got stuck behind a pair of slowpokes. As soon as I could, I sped past them, Rainbow Dash right next to me. Even though she stayed with me, she complained later that we might have hurt those other ponies! I mean, who cares? It wasn’t about helping anypony else, it was about proving we were better. And we were—Spitfire let us go early because we finished the course so fast.
Then, we had to do some silly cloud-busting competition. I knew we’d beat this with no problem—Rainbow Dash had told me earlier that she could clear a sky in ten seconds flat. It was cool, but not cool enough. We weren’t the only ponies kicking the clouds away. So we had to do something better. I started creating a tornado that would blow away all the clouds—but Rainbow Dash didn’t follow my lead! Instead, she went to rescue some ponies that showed up in a balloon. I mean, sure, I’m glad she managed to save them, but someone else would have! We could have totally lost points because she broke formation!
Rainbow Dash started yelling at me for being reckless or whatever. I didn’t get it. I thought she wanted to be the best team, but she was already forgetting who was lead pony and who was just wingpony! Besides, Spitfire was on my side. But then Rainbow Dash quit, and Spitfire felt bad or something, so she made her lead pony instead. And I got nothing.
I did all I could to be the best, and in the end, I failed because that one pony screwed up everything for me! If it wasn’t for her, I’d be a Wonderbolt right now. Instead, I’m here, and I’ll never even be able to go back to the Academy!
--
“Yeah, that sounds like Rainbow Dash,” Gilda said. “Seems cool, but then she’s just as lame as anyone else.”
“And it’s like she didn’t even get that she screwed up!” Lightning Dust said, clearly still upset. “My dream was ruined and she got to go back and party with her friends.”
“It’s not as though your dream was that big of a deal,” Trixie said. “You had a home to go back to.”
“You weren’t turned to stone,” Discord remarked.
Lightning Dust frowned. “None of you get it. Rainbow Dash is terrible, and this is important.”
The next meeting, Discord was late. Not everypony noticed, and those who did cared little. However, all heads were turned when the draconequus burst open the doors in the middle of a timberwolf weeping sap tears over being broken apart by a tiny dragon.
Discord was skipping. He left flowers where he stepped, and he was followed by tiny birds and woodland creatures singing a happy song. He wedged himself into his seat, and the animals thankfully disappeared.
Everyone else in the room simply stared at him.
He gave a wry smile. “I’m good now.”
“How do you mean?” Nightmare Moon asked cautiously.
“Good, benevolent, kind,” Discord listed off. “Celestia offered me freedom in exchange for a complete change of heart.” A halo appeared over his head.
“You’re good now?” Trixie asked, raising an eyebrow. “Then, why are you still here?”
“Why are you?” Discord countered.
“Trixie is not one of them,” she answered bitterly.
Discord shrugged. “Neither am I.”
--
DISCORD’S STORY
I was enjoying my existence as a simple statue, spending my days listening to the birds chirp as they perched on my head. I had plans to escape, of course, but I figured I had a century, or perhaps a millennium, before the Element bearers died and I could take action again. It would be easiest to strike before the next bearers were found, and what’s a few hundred years to someone immortal?
It came as a surprise when Celestia started talking to me. I hadn’t realized that she knew I could hear her through the stone. She told me there were soon to be big changes for Equestria, and that I needed to be part of them. She was going to release me.
She had her guards haul me onto a chariot, a rather undignified way of transport. I could have easily behaved myself for a simple ride to Ponyville. But it was clear that Celestia still couldn’t trust me, for whatever reason.
I was causing delicious chaos from the moment the chariot landed. My mere presence was enough to make the dutiful Twilight Sparkle question her teacher. It was fun already. But then Celestia told those ponies that she’d cast a spell on the actual Elements so I couldn’t hide them again…spoilsport.
Celestia wanted Fluttershy to be the one to supposedly reform me. Really, I believed the dear princess had gone soft in her old age. But, I couldn’t say anything while still stone, and she left before I was freed.
Oh, it felt so good to be released! I only changed a few creatures to their chaotic counterparts, and those little ponies got all fussy over it. Fluttershy threatened to stare at me. I still don’t know why Celestia chose her.
I turned those animals back to normal—it was too soon to be stone again, after all. Although I figured a little more chaos couldn’t hurt, as long as those ponies didn’t see.
If I couldn’t get to the Elements themselves, I had to find other ways to have fun with those Element Bearers. I knew Twilight, ever the bookworm, would find some other spell to use—if she had her books. Paper is not as delicious as you would expect, by the way. It soaks up absolutely none of the flavor of the words.
Fluttershy was so insistent that I could be good so quickly that she decided we would have a quaint little dinner party. Of course, I played my part, enchanting the dishes to give the ponies a wonderful show with their meal. It’s not my fault those ponies were suspicious and ungrateful.
Then, Fluttershy said she was my friend. I never really had a friend before—I toyed with Celestia whenever I felt like it, but she hated me too much to be a friend. It actually surprised me that Fluttershy cared.
Of course, I still planned to take advantage of that. It was only a surprise, not a heartwarming moment. So as soon as she asked a favor of me, I asked another favor of her—to never use her Element on me. She promised much more quickly than I expected. I really should look into making more friends.
But I’ll admit that just maybe my way of chaos was a bit too much for her and maybe I shouldn’t have flooded and froze Sweet Apple Acres. It was fun, but in the end, Fluttershy’s friendship was worth keeping.
Of course, Celestia and those silly ponies believe that I’ve somehow embraced the magic of friendship. While I might be on the side of good for now, that doesn’t mean I’m a different Discord. Friendship isn’t magic. It’s useful.
--
“Yeah, I really don’t think you should be in here anymore,” Gilda said. “How can you be friends with one of those dweebs? Friendship isn’t anything useful, it’s just friendship.”
“Everything is useful if you’re creative enough,” Discord replied with a sly smile.
Nightmare Moon regarded the two silently, as Discord brought back his bird friends to ceaselessly peck at the annoyed Gilda. Perhaps he was on to something with this idea of befriending and using the Element Bearers. Had anyone else thought the same?
There was some silence after Discord’s story. Nopony was quite ready to end the meeting yet, but everypony had already had their chance to speak. So, the villains turned to the mundane.
Trixie bought apple cider from Flim and Flam. Gilda snaked her tail out to trip Diamond Tiara, and laughed at the filly’s misfortune. Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis discussed mane styling tips.
All the chatter was quieted when a very familiar pink pony came bouncing into the room. Her bounces were somehow audible, as if she had literal springs in her feet. Her eyes were closed as she wore a blissful smile, as if entirely unaware of what she’d just hopped into.
She wedged herself into an empty chair between Iron Will and Rover. She then finally opened her eyes, grinned brightly, and gave a cheery, “Hi!”
She was met with silent stares.
“I have a story too!” she said. “You skipped me, because I was there before Trixie’s second episode, but that’s okay!”
“Second…what?” Trixie asked.
She pouted. “Shoot! Real Pinkie’s not that obvious about the fourth wall. Um…the second time you came back to Ponyville?”
Trixie raised an eyebrow, but Nightmare Moon took interest at this. “Real Pinkie? Who are you?”
“Oh, I’m her clone!” she said cheerily. “Real Pinkie said you needed to hear from someone who wasn’t really a villain so she pulled me back out of the mirror pool!”
--
I’m from the mirror pool, which is a place just like this one except everypony’s a little different from their real pony, because they’re just reflections. I’m like Pinkie Pie because I’m always looking for fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
Oh. Sorry. Real Pinkie said I need to stop saying that because she doesn’t say that so much. I just really like fun!
So Pinkie came to the mirror pool one day when she couldn’t decide where the most fun was. She pulled me out so that I could help Applesauce with a barn raising while she went to watch Rainbow Dash do something else fun. That way, she could be there for all her friends ‘cause I was her too!
But then when I was going to Applejohn’s, I ran into Pinkie’s yellow friend. And she was having a picnic with some really cute animals. And I realized that was also fun! And I didn’t know who I was supposed to have fun with, but I didn’t want to let down Pinkie! The camera kept zooming in! It was too much!
I went to find Pinkie and told her all about the problem choosing between Applejane and Flutterby. And Pinkie’s super nice, which I know, ‘cause she’s me too, and she made me feel okay for not doing anything fun by saying that we could make more Pinkies from the mirror pool!
Making more Pinkies was fun! So when Pinkie and I duplicated ourselves, the other Pinkies and I decided to make even more! And more! No one in Ponytown was going to be able to have fun without us! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
I don’t know where all the other Pinkies went, but I went to Applesauce’s barn raising with some of them. It was so much fun! We didn’t really know what we were doing, but we all tried different things and had a lot of fun! There wasn’t really a barn, so I don’t know why they called it a barn raising, but that was okay!
Then I wandered into town to look for more fun! I found a bunch of ponies in a prank store, and pranks are always fun, so I set all the pranks I could! But then I heard Applejuice outside calling for all the Pinkies to come somewhere really really fun!
We ended up at town hall, and Twilight told us that we had to watch paint dry, or we couldn’t stay! It was boring! But I really really really wanted to stay, because it was so much fun! So I tried really hard!
It was kind of scary. Twilight kept blowing up other Pinkies but I couldn’t look away from the paint because then it would happen to me too! But it was so boringggg…
The Pinkie next to me made a silly, previous-generation face, and I couldn’t help but laugh at it! And BAM, I blew up! It kind of felt like I drank a lot of soda.
Then I was back in the mirror pool. There’s no fun in there. I’m so glad Pinkie let me out to talk to you!
--
“What was the point of that, exactly?” Chrysalis asked.
“Well, Pinkie said I’m almost a villain, so I should come talk to you!” the Pinkie duplicate chirped. “Plus while I’ve been talking, real Pinkie and Twilight snuck in and were watching you!”
She pointed a hoof to the back corner of the room. Twilight had a quill and notepad frozen in midair, while Pinkie just happily waved to her duplicate. “Your Pinkie Sense didn’t get this?” Twilight whispered.
Real Pinkie shrugged. “It comes and goes. But I do sense we should leave now! Bye, other me!”
“Bye!” the Pinkie duplicate said, just as cheerily. “Thanks for letting me come out!” Before she could finish waving, she suddenly ballooned in size and popped into a stream of pink wind heading to the mirror pool.
A flash of light surrounded the two remaining Element Bearers, and they were gone.
The next meeting started as uneventfully as always. The attendance was a bit light, as it was the summer and therefore the perfect time to formulate new evil plans. Discord had popped in for a minute, but then apologized and said there was some movie he just had to watch.
As the case always seemed to be, the newest member of the group arrived late. She pushed open the door to the building and strode in on two legs as her species tended to do. She twirled a strand of hair around her fingers and smirked at the assorted creatures staring at her.
Discord popped into the room. “Well, the movie only had one showing today—oh, you’re here. I suppose I don’t need to see that after all.”
The newcomer narrowed her eyes. “Who are you? And what are you talking about?”
“Who are you?” Gilda asked.
“Sunset Shimmer,” she replied with a haughty toss of her hair. “Celestia’s former student.”
“How could you be Princess Celestia’s student?” Trixie asked. “You’re not a pony.”
Sunset Shimmer looked down at herself. “I don’t know why I’m human right now. I should have changed back when I came back to Equestria. I did last time.”
“Last time?” Trixie asked.
Sunset sat down in one of the chairs, crossing one leg over the other. “Let me start at the beginning.”
--
I was once Celestia’s student. I was her best student, in fact. She personally taught me all there is to know about magic and Equestria. I was perfectly happy living in the castle in Canterlot, knowing that I was better than anybody—sorry, anypony—else. Celestia had even told me all about the Elements of Harmony, and promised me that when I found them and helped her release her sister, I would join the two of them as a princess.
Yeah, she didn’t even tell Twilight that much!
I couldn’t find the Elements of Harmony, though. I searched for years, everywhere in Equestria. I figured they must be somewhere outside of Equestria. Celestia had told me about a portal to another world, with strange creatures called humans, who look liked…well, what I look like now. I knew I had only three days to find the Elements, or I would have to stay there for another month. I could cover up a three day absence easily, but Celestia would notice if I was gone for weeks.
I landed in a school. I pretended I was a student there, though I thought it was a bit weird that students continued school long after they were fillies. There was a double of everypony I had known there, even Celestia herself. That made it easy to blend in.
I asked around about the Elements, but no one knew anything about them. They hadn’t heard of Equestria, and ponies in their world didn’t talk or have cutie marks. Pegasi and unicorns didn’t even exist. Magic didn’t exist.
I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. I had exhausted all chances of finding the Elements. I raced back to the portal on the third day, but found it was already closed.
The first few days trapped in this world were hard. The students at the school thought I was crazy. But after about a week, it was easy to observe them, learn how to gain their trust and their worship. I ruled the school by the end of the month.
When I could return to Equestria, I realized that I didn’t want to. Here, I had the respect I never had as a pony. I had also heard that the school was crowning a Fall Princess the next week. I deserved to finally be a princess.
I easily won the contest and was crowned Princess. Unfortunately, I soon learned that beyond controlling the other students, being their Princess had no real power. They still revered Celestia’s double, the Principal. I vowed to stay longer and do all I could to gain even more power in this world.
I needed to know what was going on in Equestria, but I didn’t dare step through the portal again. Instead, I sent one of my lackeys. Once a month, Lyra would travel to Equestria, and return three days later, letting me know all that had changed. She wasn’t a reliable girl—she would be gone for entire months, completely distracted by the idea of living among ponies. But she did bring useful information. From her, I learned that Celestia had gained a new favorite student, all about Luna’s return, coincidentally right when Vice-Principal Luna came to the school, Cadence and the Crystal Empire, and Twilight herself becoming a princess. This Twilight had gained everything I ever wanted in the span of a few years.
Lyra told me that Twilight would be heading to the Crystal Empire, where the portal was now located, for a princess summit. I figured that I finally had a chance.
On the first night the portal opened that month, I snuck into the school and stole that year’s Fall Princess crown. Then, I headed to the statue that housed the portal and I stepped through. I walked on four legs for the first time in three years, which made it difficult to take silent steps. I stayed in the room with the mirror for a few minutes so I could relearn to walk. Muscle memory took over quickly, and I could prance around the room without making a sound. I thought I was set until I tried to leave the room.
In the human world, there is no magic—but you do get opposable thumbs, which are just as useful as magic for lifting and holding things. Still, I got so used to opening a door by holding onto the doorknob with my hand that I couldn’t figure it out with a hoof. Focusing my magic on the knob felt like stretching a very tired muscle, but it was also a good feeling. I did miss having a horn.
I evaded the guards, found Twilight’s room, and easily switched her crown—that Element of Harmony I had long been after—for the plastic Fall Princess crown. I almost got away with it, but my unfamiliarity with my four legs betrayed me. I tripped over her little dragon’s tail.
Even though Twilight woke up, I managed to run away. She teleported in front of me. It took a little concentration, but teleportation was one of the easiest things to learn, so I managed to do the same trick. I escaped back into the portal.
It was still dark when I arrived back at the school. I held onto the crown—I could have put it on right then, but I wanted to do it in front of everyone, to get them to join me right away.
As everyone arrived at school the next day, I stood in front of the doors, ready to crown myself. But some idiot bumped into me and made me drop the crown. It got kicked around, and I lost track of it. When I could finally push past everyone, I saw it in Fluttershy’s hands, and she was heading right for Principal Celestia’s office. Great.
I couldn’t get to her before she gave the crown to Celestia, but at least I could give her a piece of my mind after she did. That little animal-lover had the nerve to tell me the crown wasn’t mine! I would have told her off more, but a girl came around the corner and started talking back to me! She had to be new. No one at that school would have dared stand up to me. I figured she wasn’t worth my time. Talking to Fluttershy was more her speed—that girl hangs around stray animals all the time.
The day went normally, if a little agonizingly slow because I didn’t have my crown. I knew it would be easy enough to win the crown at the Fall Formal. I just had to play the perfect student for a few more days.
During lunchtime, I decided to check on the gym. I had to see how the decorations were coming—if I had to be crowned Fall Princess, I had to make sure the coronation would be worth it. And it was a good thing I checked, because the place looked awful. It looked like a four year old’s birthday party exploded! And Applejack had brought fizzy cider. Ugh, the one thing I really missed about being a pony was real hard cider. They had it in the human world, but I wasn’t old enough to buy it! So unfair.
Applejack decided to talk back to me and tell me that I wasn’t going to win. I seriously had to wonder what was going on with everybody, acting like I didn’t deserve everything. But then, Pinkie Pie told me that a new girl had signed up to run against me. When I saw her handwriting, everything clicked. Her terrible penmanship looked just like a young filly’s mouthwriting.
Somehow, Twilight Sparkle had followed me through the portal.
Of course, I confronted her. She should have known better—I’d been here for years, and she couldn’t even use her hands well enough to write yet! It didn’t matter that she was a princess back in Equestria. Here, I was basically a queen.
It was downright laughable how little she knew. She didn’t even know what the Element of Harmony did! She couldn’t fit in, and there was no chance of her winning the crown.
But just to be safe, I sent some kids who always followed me around, Snaps and something, to spy on her for me. And they delivered! Twilight went around the library on all fours, picked up books with her mouth, and couldn’t figure out the computer. She just couldn’t figure out how to be a human, and she looked ridiculous. I quickly put what those two recorded into an email to send to everybody.
The next morning, everyone was laughing about Twilight Sparkle. I figured she’d be dropping out of the running for Fall Princess at any moment.
But then at lunch, that pathetic pony somehow managed to everyone to join her in some big number, getting everybody on her side! Even my lackeys were in on it! Of course, I stopped that as soon as I could. I needed them to help me.
I got those two to mess up the gym. The decorations were stupid anyways. And then I fixed some pictures I took of Twilight earlier, and made it look just like she wrecked the decorations.
When Vice-Principal Luna saw the ruined gym, she said the dance would have to be postponed another night. She would also be talking to Twilight, but detention wasn’t as good as her losing her chance to get that crown. She couldn’t just steal it, or she would have in the first place. It was the third day already, and the portal would be closing. Twilight Sparkle would have to choose her crown or Equestria.
Of course, I would also have to wait another thirty days to return to Equestria with my new power…so I was glad when the gym was cleaned after all. Of course, I blamed it on those two who messed up the gym. They shouldn’t have wrecked it so much in the first place!
During the dance, I snuck a look at the ballet box to see who would win. I wasn’t surprised to see it was Twilight—but I was glad I had a backup plan. I had those two kids steal her little dog right when the winner was announced.
Twilight told me not to hurt him—as if I would! I want to rule, not hurt anyone. She refused to give me the crown, even when I threatened to destroy the portal. I don’t know why she wouldn’t just hand it over. She didn’t know yet what it would do.
It took too long to get my hands on the crown, but I did finally succeed. When I wore it, the transformation I’d only heard stories about finally happened. I could feel the power of the Element of Harmony surging through me. So what if the students thought I was a monster? I stopped their screaming by getting them under my control.
All I needed to do was brush past Twilight and bring this power into Equestria. It should have been easy. She didn’t have magic in this world, so what could she do to me? Use the power of friendship?
I’m still not sure how, but that’s exactly what she did. The power evaporated from me, sucked out of my body before I could understand what was happening. I had no magic anymore, and with such a fantastic display of it, I knew I had lost my sway over the students. I was back to nothing.
Twilight must have thought she was being generous by telling her friends to befriend me. And they were nice enough until she left. Then they, and the other students, decided revenge was better than friendship. I became the laughingstock of the school, and since the first time I arrived, it felt like I wasn’t one of them. All I wanted after that, more than anything, was to return to Equestria and be Celestia’s student again, but I knew that becoming a pony once more would be worse than the small ridicule from these human teenagers.
--
“You are here now,” Diamond Tiara pointed out. “I mean, this is Equestria.”
“I know,” Sunset Shimmer said. “But after this, I have to go back. If I came here as a pony…Celestia would have my head. I was acting like a monster.”
“So?” Trixie said. “The Great and Powerful Trixie would have done the same in your position, and she is still allowed to keep her magic and walk as a pony. Besides, if you came back, I could use a magical assistant.”
Sunset Shimmer just raised an eyebrow. “Trixie? The only thing Great and Powerful about the Trixie in my world is her love for peanut butter crackers. Why would I want anything to do with you?”
“Trixie was just trying to be generous,” the unicorn muttered. “She is the Great and Humble Trixie.”
“I do miss magic, though,” Sunset Shimmer admitted. “And Celestia’s not here to arrest me right now…I don’t know. I am just a high school student, after all.”
The door opened and Chrysalis walked in. This surprised many of the creatures, as no one had really noticed that the changeling queen had been missing for the first half of their meeting.
“Where were you?” Nightmare Moon asked, more to fill the awkward silence than caring.
“Getting an annoying song out of my head,” Chrysalis muttered as she took her seat. “I should have taken my revenge against the pink one instead of Twilight.”
“Revenge?” Trixie asked.
Chrysalis nodded. “I tried to take the love from Equestria again. It really did not go as planned.”
--
Like any leader, I learned from my defeat. My subjects still hungered for love, but I knew we could not invade Canterlot again. Equestria had other ponies on which to feed.
I chose to send my subjects to Ponyville. It did make sense—a small town with little defense, but quite a few ponies. But I truly chose it because Twilight Sparkle lived there. I had a plan beyond simply feeding my subjects.
My subjects captured and replaced most of the townsponies. They kept the ponies just outside Ponyville, where the hive could easily feed on them. I gave them strict instructions not to touch the Element bearers, but they managed to capture their sisters. While the ponies worried about their neighbors, I took their sisters to my kingdom.
The sisters weren’t my target, only bait. I was able to lure Twilight and all of her friends to my kingdom with ease.
I gave them a map to help them on their way, but of course I had them take the long way around—they needed to be tired and hurt by the time they arrived. I couldn’t face all six of them in top condition. Not when I was still weakened from my fight in Canterlot.
I watched their journey, but unfortunately I couldn’t enjoy it as I had three little fillies to deal with. You can’t imagine how tempting it was to just kill them and be done with it. But I had to leave them alive for my plan to work.
The ponies passed the cave troll too easily. I sent some of my changelings to make things a bit more difficult for them. They separated the ponies and finally made things more interesting to watch.
Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. Their petty little friendship broke right through my changelings’ deception. Watching their sisters succeed made those little filly brats happy enough that they thought they could speak again.
Luckily, it was time to feed. They thought the creature I fed on was cute. And I suppose it was, until I was done.
They were quiet for a while then.
Once the ponies reached my kingdom, I realized that I didn’t need their sisters alive anymore. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to dispose of them before I was interrupted by the Element Bearers.
Twilight’s magic was stronger than I expected. I had simply wanted to drain her power and keep it for myself, making myself the strongest changeling to have ever lived. Not only to take the shape of a pony, but also the powerful magic of one. But on actually seeing Twilight’s magic, I feared that she may have been too strong for me to take it by force.
So I threatened her friends. I could drain the life from each of them. I knew that these Elements constantly spouted their silly idea that friendship was important, so I knew that hurting Twilight’s friends would hurt her just as well. She accepted becoming my apprentice without fighting.
Once I had her under my control, I knew it was a matter of time before I was able to drain her love and control her mind as well—just as I had done to her brother. It truly was a poetic revenge. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of telling Twilight this plan. I thought I still had the upper hoof—until somehow, she got a surge of powerful magic I could not have anticipated.
Not only was I defeated, but so were my subjects. Once again, we were doomed to starve. Not for a while, as the love from the Ponyville ponies was enough to keep us sated for some time. But I do fear for them in the future.
--
“Maybe you should quit trying,” Gilda muttered. “They beat you twice now?”
“It does sound like you have a lot to lose,” Discord added. “Not a very good battle strategy, is it?”
Chrysalis grumbled so low it sounded like a growl. Nightmare Moon frowned. “We are supposed to support each other in here,” she reminded the others. “We have a common enemy. We should not hate each other.”
“We do, though,” Chrysalis said fiercely. “The only reason I haven’t fed on everypony here is because none of you have love to give. I wouldn’t doubt anyone else would turn on us in a moment.”
The rest of the assorted creatures nodded and murmured their assents.