Equestria used to be a land of peace and friendship, but when Discord returned and defeated the princesses and Twilight Sparkle, harmony dwindled to nonexistence and disorder ruled. One hundred years later, the last three ponies that have managed to evade their oppressor make their final attempt to win back their land. When the plan fails, the last survivor is sent back in time, but not before Discord plants the Seed of Chaos.
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Well, I only read the prologue, and I'll give my honest opinion on it. It really is a dark take on Discord, to the point where I can't really understand him as a character anymore. And the protagonist isn't that well defined in this first chapter. We know he's a unicorn who trained in secret and is powerful in magic and he had two companions and felt the need to continue a doomed battle against Discord.
I feel like the protagonist's own thoughts don't really reflect enough of an emotional response for the situation he's in. For example, when he makes the offhanded comment that he was about to mention that a circle is a two dimensional object. I just figured he would at the time be more serious and focused by the situation at hand. This small, near-comical comment dispelled my immersion in the work. It just felt jarring. He should be angry or determined in the situation, not second-guessing his retorts.
Overall, I can't really enjoy a story with Discord being so blatantly dark, and thus I probably won't read any more.
I will not thumbs-down the story, because I don't do that. But I also won't thumbs-up the story. Thank you for writing this though, I hope my comment was constructive in some manner.
~SilentBelle
2607429
Thanks for the feedback! I'll try to fix some of the stuff you mentioned, and I think you're right... Discord isn't this dark. I think that the more gruesome parts will get taken out.
This is my first fic, or story in general for that matter, so I'm not too great at the whole personality thing. I'll work on it though!