Twilight Sparkle
A week had passed since Applejack's funeral and she was once again teaching young unicorns about magic. She was writing on the board, her brain on autopilot. Her mind was drifting from one train of thought to another, but she had taught this lesson enough times she could do it in her sleep. The thought that she had taught this lesson when she had heard the news of Fluttershy's disappearance flitted across her mind, making her think of her friends. I really need to write a letter to Applejack- the chalk she was using to write on the board behind her came to a screeching halt, waking a few students from their stupor. But I can't do that now, was her sad thought.
I have nopony to talk to, to voice my concerns. The chalk fell, hitting the chalk holder on the bottom of the chalkboard. She began to tear up, thinking of all her friends, the good times and the bad. She shut her eyes and ran out of the lecture hall, not caring. She ran and ran, passing ponies. She felt her magic expending itself more than once, teleporting to seemingly random places. She didn't care; she just needed to run, to get away.
She ran through a pair of double doors, throwing them open. She didn't stop running until she ran into someone. She looked up to see a surprised Celestia and hugged her, sobbing. She heard her say something, but her mind had shut down, barely processing anything. She felt Celestia's forelegs surround her and cried harder.
It was several minutes later that she recognized her name being called to her. "Twilight Sparkle, my dear Twilight Sparkle, I haven't seen you in years. How are you doing?"
Twilight took a second to stop bawling to look up at her mentor. She noticed a surprised look cross Celestia's face before resuming her tears. "They're all gone! My friends… they're dead! I-I don't know what to do. Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie; they're all dead. What do I do? Oh princess, what do I do?"
"My faithful student, death is another aspect of life. We must all one day grow old-"
"But I haven't even aged!" Twilight screamed out. "I just keep outliving everypony!" Her tone changed to a whisper. "I'm scared. I don't have anypony else to turn to. I'm just… scared."
"Twilight Sparkle, had I known you would outlive your friends, I would have prepared you. I should have seen the signs. But I didn't want to see you age. I'm so sorry, my faithful student, for putting you through this. I am so sorry."
Twilight felt something wet hit her back. Celestia, crying? The thought caused her mind to reel. Why would Celestia cry? She's an immortal Alicorn who can move the sun. Why would she… "Princess Celestia?"
"Yes, my faithful student?"
"How do you cope… with this? With living forever?"
Celestia got up and took a step back, looking her student in the eye. "It is not easy. I see so many of my little ponies devoting their lives to frivolous pursuits, only to look back and wonder if it was worth it. Or those whose lives are taken before their time. I have also seen the ravishes of age and those whose death was a relief," Celestia tone had turned cold, clearly remembering her own friends and family.
Twilight placed a forehoof in front of her mouth, gasping. "Oh, I'm sorry Princess Celestia, I didn't mean to-"
"It is fine, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia said shakily. "I have lived many generations, and I will live many more." Her voice had taken on her normal, kind tone again. "Do not worry for me, my little pony. I have weathered this adversity before, and I shall do it again."
A moment of silence fell on the two ponies.
"Twilight Sparkle, I have something I wish to show you. Please, follow me," Celestia ordered, walking out of the throne room. Twilight followed, casting apprehensive glances to her sides every once in a while.
Celestia led Twilight to her bedchambers in silence. The room itself was fairly large, with a big bed at one side. On the wall facing the door there was a large bookcase with numerous books. A writing table was on the opposite side of the room from the bed.
"Welcome to my private library, Twilight Sparkle. Here are books that I deem too hazardous for ponykind in general to have." Celestia's horn glowed and a book flew off its shelf, hovering in front of Twilight. She took it in her own magic, reading the title; The Birth of The Royal Pony Sisters. "My sister and I were not born Alicorns," Celestia stated. "I will not regale you of the tale of our 'ascension,' but sufficed to say we were born Unicorns and became Alicorns. We have also felt the pangs of loosing friends and family. Twilight Sparkle, I want to help you during this trying time. Don't be afraid to talk to me or my sister. We know what you are going through, and we will help if we are asked."
Twilight leapt at Celestia, hugging her neck and thanking her profusely. "Oh thank you, Celestia! I… I don't know how to… this has been a trying day and I- oh thank you."
Celestia chuckled. "Although I'm surprised you haven't grown your wings yet."
Twilight backed away from Celestia in shock. "Wait, wings?"
The story continues in Growing Some Wings
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holy shit! It updated!
What...what...what?!
Walls of text :v
Ok so somber reading then the last line hits and I just Hit the ground and start rolling with laughter.
1445523 What particularly is setting off your wall-of-text senses?
good story i liked it althought i would remove the tragedy tag
1446199 Yeah, it's not really a tragedy, just sad. Will do.
1446167
Lack of indentation; no clear paragraphs, walls consisting of words v:
1446586 You mean the first paragraph? Yeah, I'm not seeing a good place for a line break. Sorry.
If you were talking about the fic in general: I have recently added indentations to all the chapters.
I loved it
Story was good enough i suppose, nothing much to say more than that except that you could have been better at writing down emotions. And the last chapter just seems forced.
Moar. Now!
This is not completed!
1451813 I'll be doing the next part of the story as a separate story. I've completed the original premise, now I'm moving to another.
Yay!
1451998 I'm watching you..... For your new story silly!
I had many feels and am looking forward to hopefully seeing Twilight grow into an Alicorn!
I enjoyed this story well enough, and I will definitely check out the next one.
Sequel?
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mazazlMBpm1qguuls.jpg
Wow. The sadness of this story.
While perhaps not the best-written story out there, I find that emotion and connection are far more important in the giving of thumbs than technical concerns, so this is most definitely a story I would recommend.
But if I could recommend something to you? There are plenty of places around the internet for a fanfiction to get proofread - from the proofreaders group here on FiMfiction to the beta-readers on fanfiction.net and the beta-readers group on deviantART. It'd help your writing a lot to get someone else to look over and correct errors.
But hey, I enjoyed it. It was a good read.
1501065 I can be somewhat OCD about grammar. Is there anything in particular that needs polish?
I'm reluctant to have a proofreader because I'm not too serious about these fics. There's an epic fanfic in my mind (unrelated to this series) that I might employ a proofreader on.
Well done sir. I almost cried.
Ahh the inevitable in almost any alicorn twilight story... The mixed blessing of immortality, to live forever but to have to watch your loved ones dying...
1501425
Okay, so I went through your first chapter, and I'm gonna PM you rather than list everything here on your wall.
Like I said, the errors aren't huge. It's all little nit-picky editor things and some incorrect word usage here and there, but little errors add up, and I think you would have gotten a lot more thumbs on your story if they hadn't been there (I've been told on my own story that I wouldn't get upvotes for less).
Might I commend you, though, on your usage of the hyphen. Phrases that need them run rampant on this site, wholly dash-less, which makes the little dash sad. But I was thinking about how tear-stained needed a hyphen, and there it is! Amazing
You certainly do know your punctuation 
... ; ;
That was sad, but still no mention of Spike, and... Damn class is starting. Crap. Just don't break down later, Trevor, you've got this... feels don't affect Chocobos! *Eyes watering*
*flips table* Every time I come here, I tell myself to avoid sad stories. And then I read one. And it hits me right in the feel. Every. Time.
Why do I have to be so emotional.. Celestia curse my miserable existence.
*reads last line*
Wait...what?
1503774
Meanwhile, on the Class 4 starship, the S.S. Fist....
"Captain! We lost signal from the S.S. Chocobo!"
"What?! Where are they!?"
"It's seems they're in..... Oh God.... They're in the Daww Field, the 100 Years sector!!"
"Mother of God..."
A pretty good tale, though one criticism is that it didn't feel like any of the ponies had actually aged since there were no real physical descriptions. I had to keep in mind that the story synopsis was about them aging around Twilight and interject my own visual of how they'd look at 80+ etc.
1508418
Pretty much how it'd have to be anyway. They'd look the same, just a bit misshapen and wrinkly. Look at Granny Smith, vibrantly colored as always, she's... what? At least 2-300 years old? Only difference between her and say... Applejack, is how off her rear hips look, and the fact she's wrinkly.
It'd be a copy-paste for each friend. "<Insert Pony Name Here> had become lumpy and wrinkly in their old age."
1508496
I won't argue about the granny smith thing, there's little questioning that. I had meant it more along the lines of the story was missing descriptive language to engage the readers imagination to set a scene. Even small descriptors like:
"Rainbows once vibrant mane was far duller, a true shame"
OR
"Rarities once perfectly hooficured hooves were now marred with wrinkles."
Scenery descriptions, even brief ones, were also absent. A story should have some mention towards the senses to activate some kind of scene for ones imagination to galvanize to.
1508560
I'm not denying any of what you just said, aye. As-is the story works simply because it forces you to call up your own mental imagery for it rather than trying to wrestle someone else's views into being in your head. So you create your own attachment, at any rate.
That said, this could definitely be made longer, more descriptive, and instead of just being "Aww no..." it could be shifted into a real heart-wrencher. Most of the Twilight-is-an-alicorn fics where she's the only one who ascends don't REALLY explore the loss of her friends due to her immortality. It's sort of an "And then Twilight went to visit the graves, the end."
Uh... one question. What about Spike?
1510440
Who is this... "Spike"? Some kind of background pony?
>>The Story
I liked how you were subtle about Twilight not aging in Rarity's chapter, and wish you'd continued being subtle about it until Twilight's chapter. Sure, it would've become obvious in Applejack's, but it just would'a been neat to get to figure it out on my own, rather than having it simply told to me in the chapter after Rarity's.
That said, I thoroughly enjoyed this. I'm glad I didn't read this from it's inception, I would've been in a different state of mind if I'd expected this to be tragic instead of merely sad, lol. Still, I liked it and now I'm off to read the sequel! AWAY!
[Edit] Probably should've edited this into my last comment, huh? Oh well, too late.
Gugh.
Okay. Okay.
This was good. This could have been great. You pulled off the most perfect characterization possible, extrapolated their lives accurately, and generally kicked a lot of literary ass. Twilight's anguish is done particularly well, and I seriously wish that I could emulate that.
But then you turned her into an alicorn. The hell? There are so many ways to end this fic, and you had to go with Trollestia saying "lolz ur an alicorn!"? :
I mean, that's a perfectly acceptable answer, but you could have done it with grace and aplomb befitting the delicate maiden that is this story, rather than having her end the dance by flipping her skirt.
1446612
What about spaces between paragraphs? Also, a link to the sequel at the end would be nice for new readers.
NOOOOOOO!!!! not another sad tag.... I hate finding them cause they tear at my heart but i always read them no matter what... MUST... LEAVE... PAGE..... crap I added to read later.....
Beautiful sadfic, then suddenly Alicorn.
I've already faved the sequel. Lookin' forward to it.
Ah... Twilight becomes an Alicorn...
Yes, it has done many times, but it is not often that it is done well. I think this one was done very well. I shall now go read the sequal.
I swear I felt the sting of tears by the time Aplejack's chapter came up. Dude, you write a killer story.
curses, a good sadfic.
Who would have thought that the "Twilight becomes an alicorn"-szenario would one day become official canon?
Back then, in 2012, probably nobody.
You wrote about the whole "Twilight will outlive her friends"-dilemma a long time before it was in public focus.
But one thing confuses me a bit: What happened to Spike?
He is a dragon, so he will hardly be outlived; and even if, it will not happen too soon.
1449298
Wait, you were serious? 
I cried in the first chapter! This is one of the only stories in my Super Favourites!
Immortal