• Member Since 18th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Madd the Sane


Wants to be a Mac programmer.

Sequels1

E

Twilight Sparkle is outliving all of her friends, and must come to terms that she has many more years in front of her.

Set before the end of season 2.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 98 )

Small error, "Pound Cake, Mr. and Mrs. Cake's daughter, reared up, quickly followed by her brother." Pound Cake(the pegasus) is the son and Pumpkin(the unicorn) is the daughter.

Probably other errors, in there but I didn't see them. It was a decent story, worthy enough to track at the least I should think.

Another downer story. Too much to ask to kill off Rares last? :raritydespair:

196897
Fixed, thanks.
196921
Sorry for it being a downer, but this is what my mind came up with. I'm just getting it out of my head. As for Rarity, well, wait until the next chapter.

It's a good story, albeit depressing, but the way youve chosen to write it is not quite conveying the emotional effect that is nessessary for this story.

Bit dark but nicely done all the same. There needs to be a bit more emotion in this though and maybe a bit of explanation to the condition of each pony. I had the impression that as the others got older, twi remained young or something.

197505
Indeed. I should have introduced it in Chapter 2, but I'm doing it in the upcoming 3. I'll probably fix this oversight after I've written the whole story.

196921 Sounds to me like Rarity is getting the early stages of alzheimer's or dementia. what with the mild change in attitude and forgetfulness. Depressing as it is, I wonder how the author will describe it, if it's that indeed.

197576

Yeah, seems that way to me too. That's life, I suppose. Terrible way to go. :raritycry:

Is Rarity suffering from Alzheimer? My grandma suffered that and couldn´t remember anythin

Poor Twilight, she's losing all her friends.

I think you did a good job with the story.
The writing could have been better, but still, you got the emotion across:pinkiesad2:

You should have killed Apple Jack first, for some reason I have a burning hatred for her and I don't know why.

211987
No, I think you're justified.

Applejack is the least cute of the mane six, her accent is annoying, her demanor is stubborn and obnoxious, and... I can go on for a while...

Not to mention when you compare her powers and abilities to, say, Twilight. She's pretty much 'meh'. I don't like her much either.

Wow, why the AJ hate?:ajsleepy: Or maybe it's just me, seein' as I grew up in a small town surrounded by farms and kinda thought I'd end up with a human version of her before I somehow grew up a nerd.

Short chapter, and I'd like to see it fleshed out a bit, but it's good. Seems a move of kindness :fluttercry: on your part to give Rarity a calm passing, as well as it fits with the mental decline. Sure we all know a person or more that had a similar fate.

all i can say is damn you:twilightangry2: you nearly made me cry again. but good fic and chapter keep up the work and have a cupcake:pinkiehappy:


Ah well, at least Apple Jack sucked. Now the only one left is Ywilight...Or is it?

*Cough Celestia Cough*

Well it looks like Pinkie's dead...FOREVER! Sorry, I couldn't resist.

wear is spike?

237419 I really don't know. I just… didn't think of him. Maybe he's off being a dragon?

237654well she still has him so not all her friends are dead

Interesting story so far. A little slow in places, perhaps, but it does feel like it's leading up to something...

Of course, that means that the next bit is going to be critical. Your readers are expecting it to be awsome! :twilightsmile:

Damn you to Hades! :twilightangry2: You made me feel so many sad feels:fluttercry: Also AJ is mah' favourite pony and I don't ever cry since then. You Sir or Ma'am have earned a applecry!:applecry:

What...what...what?!:pinkiegasp:

Ok so somber reading then the last line hits and I just Hit the ground and start rolling with laughter.

1445523 What particularly is setting off your wall-of-text senses?

good story i liked it althought i would remove the tragedy tag

1446199 Yeah, it's not really a tragedy, just sad. Will do.

1446167
Lack of indentation; no clear paragraphs, walls consisting of words v:

1446586 You mean the first paragraph? Yeah, I'm not seeing a good place for a line break. Sorry.

If you were talking about the fic in general: I have recently added indentations to all the chapters.

This story is meh' it is a good concept and all, but you're not putting any emotion at all into it. If a story is well written i'll start crying from One of fluttershys squirrels getting hurt, but this is just like reading an after death report in the newspaper.

Story was good enough i suppose, nothing much to say more than that except that you could have been better at writing down emotions. And the last chapter just seems forced.

1451813 I'll be doing the next part of the story as a separate story. I've completed the original premise, now I'm moving to another.

1451998 I'm watching you..... For your new story silly!

I had many feels and am looking forward to hopefully seeing Twilight grow into an Alicorn!

I enjoyed this story well enough, and I will definitely check out the next one. :twilightsmile:

this one could be rough.....ok next chapter

its the curse of immortality or in this case probably just a very long life. Any kind of immortality outside religion-such as heaven, is a curse for this very reason, you would watch everyone you care about die

Wow. The sadness of this story.
While perhaps not the best-written story out there, I find that emotion and connection are far more important in the giving of thumbs than technical concerns, so this is most definitely a story I would recommend.
But if I could recommend something to you? There are plenty of places around the internet for a fanfiction to get proofread - from the proofreaders group here on FiMfiction to the beta-readers on fanfiction.net and the beta-readers group on deviantART. It'd help your writing a lot to get someone else to look over and correct errors.
But hey, I enjoyed it. It was a good read.

1501065 I can be somewhat OCD about grammar. Is there anything in particular that needs polish?

I'm reluctant to have a proofreader because I'm not too serious about these fics. There's an epic fanfic in my mind (unrelated to this series) that I might employ a proofreader on.

Damn you, I was not prepared for these feels :fluttershysad:

I think 'Shy would have wanted go that way, or something near to it. Out in the wilds, closer to her animals. And if her body feeds new generations of flora and fauna, then all the better.

Well done sir. I almost cried.:fluttercry:

Ahh the inevitable in almost any alicorn twilight story... The mixed blessing of immortality, to live forever but to have to watch your loved ones dying... :pinkiesad2:

This is gonna require some upgardes to my feel shields, otherwise Imma gonna start crying....

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