HHoly balls this is crazy... Celestia... such a conniving witch... I like it.

Open ending is just a little too open. Just a little more to cement in my mind that it is the end?

Somehow, I really wanna fuck Lala now. I mean, she's the dirtiest filly I've ever heard of and I'd love to give her a ride!

One thing: As far as I can see, you change tense as well as perspective a little too often. I'm not talking about from scene to scene, that's fine; but you switched from first person to third when Fancy was talking to Celestia, and only for a sentence. And several times you went from past to present and back again.

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Yeah I'm pretty much getting turned on by my own creation.

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I intend to create an epilogue... but dayum did I leave it in such a blatant potential for a sequel that I don't think an epilogue will come close.

I'll have to think about it for a few days.

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this particular chapter or the story in general?

I was pretty much pumping this story out for three days straight, so my memory of the editing process is really foggy.

2410449 Dude, I think you should check out my newest fic Snow Crystals when it's finished. It'll have Snowdrop getting whipped, chained, candle waxed, the whole nine yards without the cutting! Bonus chapter's gonna be hot too!

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I'd need to go back and check the other chapters, but if it happened it didn't really come to my attention like it did in "Hearts and hooves"; that's where I noticed it.

2409428
epilogue planned out. Should have it ready soon.

It is by no means an ending though.

And the sequel might become more romance than clop.

2410567

Okay cleaned up hearts and hooves. wow how did I miss so many mistakes?

I think i got them all though.

Nobles having orgy, [trollface]

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[pokerface]