"I don't understand. Why have me be part of a war?"
"Because we couldn't find anyone else."
"I have some serious doubts about that..."
War is one of the few things that any sentient species comes to know at some point, and the ponies of Equestria are no exception. The Princesses have lost all hope in attempting to stave off an invasion, and have chosen to call upon the aid of a species whose own culture nearly revolves around war.
Now, an unwilling human has been dragged into this conflict, had his view of reality shattered, and to top it all off, has been asked to help organize a counter-strike against the army that drove the Equestrians from their home.
Maximus Cross will face his own trials and tribulations as he travels across the country to deal in the bane of his existence: politics. And this is only the beginning, as a war is brewing, and he has been thrust straight to its forefront...
[EDIT] I'm currently putting this through a rewrite, so please forgive the drastic changes between grammar and story progression quality.
I have 1 thing to say. LIKE A BOSS
2394386 Hehe, thanks.
2394531 no probs man. Its a good story
I do have to wonder though... Are stories on here like cakes, but way longer? Do I have to wait for a few days before expecting enough of a turnout to make an assessment of how I'm doing?
Maybe I can slow down a bit on the next chapter's turnout...
Really enjoying this story. Great contrast of humor and seriousness, really make the story. Keep it up.
this was painful to read. So many of the "Bad Mary Sue" sirens went off while reading this and it was dull to read.
Maybe you managed to move away from bland wish fulfillment into an actual story later on. The main POV of this first chapter made me want to avoid the rest of the fic, though.
2453822 That's understandable. I'm still trying to get away from my bad habits, but it's a slow process. When I get the chance, I'm more than likely going to go back and overhaul the chapters that need work.
So it's been awhile since I received any sort of comments. And it's bothering me a little. Am I doing well? Am I doing poorly? I do know that there are a few people that read this whenever I post up a new chapter, but I'm only human. I would like some kind of input on my performance.
I do know that not many people appreciate the self-insert fics, But I am doing my best to create a good story. Please review? Even if it's something minor than can be corrected or a facet of the story that you think requires elaboration.
2504227 They don't really teach us those tricks in the Air Force...
And I thought Spetsnaz didn't really need weapons?
Lovin this story :D
2508908 Thanks!
2504240Spetsnaz doesnt need weapons because the operator himself IS a weapon. But they do have ciperka (siperrka? idk how to spell it) entrenchment shovels that can be used to the equivelent of a throwing knife. It's on Weaponology.
Cool chapter the song was funny and overall I think it's great
I'm just dying with LOLs. I don't care if alot of people don't like this story, I LOVE IT! KEEP GOING! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Your doing great. Keep going man. I love this story :D
Great job mun!
2516015 Let it be know to all who look back and read these posts that I pulled that song completely out of a mild state of inebriation and sleep deprivation.
And to think I used to hate poetry in school...
BOOBS!!!!
2527832 It's just Mardi Gras... and that means girls pulling up their shirts...
2527843thanks now I feel like a kid in a candy store now
2527855>>2520972>>2516015>>2452993>>2399669
This is just a bit of a check-in from me. I know that it's been a long time since I updated, and I swear, I'm working on it! However, I still need those of you who are still reading this story to give me input. I haven't had a single comment since chapter 11... That's a bit unsettling. I have no idea if I'm doing stuff right, or if I've somehow caused everyone to say "Buck this, I'm leaving!"
So, this is to those of you who have read and commented at all, and to anyone who makes it to this last chapter...
Leave some comments, dammit! I post it every time in the author's note! I'm even nice about it!
*Ahem* Okay. I'm done now. I'm gonna get back to writing...
2527832 hey dude, for some reason i see you in almost every book i read, it's strange, btw mind if i use your oc's from the angel of equestria for my story?
So he was a ground crew? I would have made him like Security Force or at least Pararescue
2954578 IRL, I didn't really know a lot of Pararescue guys, and SecFor wasn't as prone to cracking jokes. Plus, Fuels is known more commonly as POL, which, to those who are Fuels, stands for Perverts, Oddballs, and Lunatics.
Fuels was fun, and I think it suits the character.
2954651 Ok, I'm not one for airforce (go army!) But how would how would someone in fuels become a guerrilla force leader? Something like that is better suited for someone in Army Special Forces (Green Berets) or Rangers (I reiterate, I'm biased towards army. Please forgive me)
2954686 He didn't exactly volunteer for it, now did he? He got schlepped into that job by Celestia.
2954700 good point...
Can I submit an OC?
Need more to read. It ends so quickly. Great story
2956096 Depends on what role you'd like the OC to play.
2956144 "Quickly"...? How fast did you read it?
2956327 he's one of the pony's partner's (paired off with who i'll leave to you), he's EX- special forces turned Mercenary. His ability is similar to the Dart 6 from Syndicate
and his eyes act as range finders and aim assist computing system (calculates distance, wind direction, and other variables that a sniper needs)
Very quickly. Chapter every say 10 - 20 minutes depending on how interesting it was. Yay for Vinyl
she's my favorite.
2956385
Damn... Well, good to hear you like the story so far.
2956392 You sir... are very welcome. hAvE a moustache or 4
Name: Dimitri "Dima" Kovak
Age:28
Race: 1st Generation Russian-American
Hair Color: Spiked black
Eye Color: Heterochromatic: Left: Light brown Right: Black
Occupation: EX- Russian Spetsnaz current US Private Military contractor
Clothes: Long black coat under a black combat vest, tactical cargo pants, and black combat boots
Weapons: FN Five seveN, AK 74u tactical (attachments: reflex scope, fore grip, sound suppressor (kept either hidden in his jacket on a rifle sling or stored in his vehicle)), knife, M14 dmr SOCOM (attachments: sound suppressor, bipod, variable zoom scope (kept in a black Pelican Case that is hidden the back of his vehicle)
Vehicle: Black 2008 Range Rover Sport-armored
Ability: (See past post)
Partner: (Your call)
Notable features: Speaks with a Russian accent, can stand up to and even intimidate Maximus, very smart but quiet, expert knife fighter, has a scar running from his mid right cheek, over his mouth, to his chin, has a tattoo of a cross hair on his neck
2960412 Oh, the character dynamic... Thank you for that. I foresee many bets gone wrong with him...
If you don't mind, more description in his personality will help me see who his partner would work best as.
2960473 he's the smart and quiet type. But he's also a hardened killing machine that can take more punishment that anyone can dish out (due to the spetsnaz training) He also suffers from PTSD. He's the type of guy that could be one of the nicest guys you know one minute, and ripping your spine out through your nose the next. For some reason though he is sympathetic towards the pony's cause and vows to do everything in his power to help then.
2913770 by all means go ahead. It's the reason why I create them. I also have more OCs on my blog. What's the name of the story your writing?
Are you gonna use the OC?
2992798 Yeah. I've been working on piecing together the next chapter, and it's a slow process. I was thinking of having him be paired with Fluttershy, if only for the entertaining irony.
2992808 I like it. A stone cold killer for hire and ex spec ops soldier (bred from the most intense and insane special forces training, possibly in the world) paired with the sweetest pony every.
AWESOME! Don't forget the Dart 6 like abilities (suicide, backfire, and persuade) and the 'dead eye' (the ability to read wind direction, bullet drop, etc. That a sniper needs)
Also have partners for Dash, Aj, and Rarity
I like it! Keep up the good work!
3358382 I think I have those covered now. Finally got my laptop back up and running and should have the next chapter finished in a day or two.