Doctor Whooves: A Time Lord in Equestria

by Kossmeister

Chapter 1: Derpy

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro. Doctor Who is the property of BBC.

Shortly after visiting the city of Kalem, famous for its moving paintings, with his companions Rory and Amy, The Doctor rested in his TARDIS. The two had gone back to their normal working lives and The Doctor felt like resting.

Without warning, there was a white flash and a red-haired woman in a white dress appeared in front of him. She had a horn on her head and wings coming out of her back. He didn’t recognize her, which made him feel very nervous.

“Do not be alarmed, Doctor,” the woman said, “I am Tau Sunflare. You have been chosen by the Elder Council to go to Equestria and watch Twilight Sparkle. She is destined to save both Equestria and the human Earth from a future apocalypse. I can not give you the full details, but I do expect you to befriend her.”

The Doctor knew about the Elder Council. They were a group of higher beings that sought order in the multiverse and believed in the protection of “inferior” races. They generally did not care for the protection of individuals, except those who served in their war against their enemies. He considered them his allies, but did not always trust their judgement.

“Why me?” he asked.

Tau answered, “We believe that you two are compatible souls who are meant to work together in order to achieve harmony. You do not need to worry about your friends Melody Pond and Rory Williams. Time passes much quicker in Equestria than it does on the human Earth. In the mean time, we will watch them and make sure that no harm comes to them.”

“Fine,” said The Doctor, “Just promise me that once I’m finished, you’ll return me to the exact point in time when I left. Also, I do not want to be placed in a position where I have to kill anyone.”

“Accepted,” said Tau. She then vanished.

Seconds later, the TARDIS started moving. As it traveled through the Void between universes, The Doctor felt himself transforming into a horselike creature. Soon he felt very uncomfortable in his clothes and ripped them off with his mouth. As he removed his pants, he noticed that there was now an hourglass symbol on his flank.

About an hour later, the TARDIS stopped moving. The Doctor heard a young-sounding female voice shouting “Mom!”

Opening the door, he found a small pale purple Unicorn with a blonde main staring at him. It looked at him very gently and innocently. A grey Pegasus with mismatched eyes, which The Doctor guessed to be its mother, walked into the room. Normally, he would have thought they were pets, but given his present form, he determined that they were members of the dominant species.

“Um, hello,” The Doctor, “I’m really sorry to barge in here, but can you tell me where I am and why I’ve turned into a horse? Also, do either of you know a Twilight Sparkle? This may sound silly, but apparently I need her help to prevent an apocalyptic event in the future.”

The Pegasus greeted The Doctor in a friendly voice. “Hello, mysterious blue box guy. My name’s Ditzy Doo, but everypony calls me Derpy because of my eyes. This is my sweet daughter Dinky. You’re in my house in Ponyville. You’re a pony, not a horse, and I have no idea what you were before. Twilight Sparkle is the new town librarian, chosen by Princess Celestia herself.”

“Are you from the future? I bet that you were a robot with antenna and lasers that came out of your eyes,” Dinky added.

The Doctor responded, “No, I was never a robot. I was a Time Lord with opposable thumbs. I didn’t have fur all over my body and I certainly did not have a tattoo on my butt.”

“What’s a Time Lord?” Dinky asked.

“A race of beings that mastered time travel and could go anywhere and anytime they wanted to go with their TARDISes. I’m the last one,” The Doctor explained.

“What did they look like?” Derpy asked.

“Um, do you have paper and any writing tools?”

“Oh, certainly,” Derpy responded with glee. She went out of the room and returned with a quill and a sheet of paper. Suddenly, The Doctor’s jaw dropped and he stared at Derpy’s left hoof, which was holding the paper perfectly well.

“How do you do that?” he inquired.

Derpy spit the quill out of her mouth. “Do what?” she asked.

“Hold a sheet of paper in your left hoof like that? It shouldn’t be anatomically possible.”

“Don’t be silly,” Derpy responded, “It’s magic.”

The Doctor felt annoyed by Derpy’s response. “Magic? Are you telling me the magic is commonplace enough in this world for a pony to hold a piece of paper in their hoof and act like that was perfectly normal?”

“Um, why wouldn’t it be?”

“At school, they say that all living things have magic,” Dinky said with full confidence, “Without it, life would die. Maybe they have magic where you come from, but you can’t detect it?”

“Magic exists in my universe,” The Doctor answered, “It’s just that very few creatures have enough magical power to hold an object like that without any opposable thumbs. In my universe, every species capable of creating an advanced civilization has some kind of special manipulator, be it a hand or a tentacle.”

Suddenly, Derpy looked very excited and she smiled with glee. “You come from another universe? That is so amazing!”

Only paying partial attention to her, The Doctor drew a picture of his usual form to on the paper to the best of his abilities. Although the picture was clearly a rough sketch, Dinky appeared to recognize what he had depicted.

“You’re a human!” she said in the most enthusiastic manner possible, “They were thought only to exist in myth and legend.”

Derpy was clearly happy too. “It’s so great to finally meet a human. I bet you’re descended from Megan, or maybe you’re her brother Danny himself. I don’t know how long humans live.”

From her statement, The Doctor surmised that humans must have visited them in the distant past, probably on a spaceship or through some sort of interdimensional portal. “I’m not Danny, or one of Megan’s descendants. I’m the Doctor, a Time Lord from Gallifrey. We predate humans by billions of years. A godlike being named Tau Sunflare sent me here to find Twilight Sparkle so that we can prevent an apocalypse and save both Equestria and the human Earth. After I agreed and asked how to find her, she disappeared and the TARDIS took me here. As soon as I arrived, I was transformed into a pony, but sadly not with wings or a horn.”

“That’s a very lovely story,” Derpy responded, “So, if you’re a doctor, what are you are doctor of?”

“Everything, or at least everything of importance that relates to Gallifrey’s own universe. Our years at the Time Lord Academy usually last more than a century,” the Doctor answered

“That sounds so fun,” said Dinky. The Doctor felt happy to know that she appeared to enjoy classes and studying.

Feeling worried about his predicament, he glanced at the TARDIS with a longing expression and then returned his attention to Derpy and Dinky. “I appear to be stuck here, so do you mind if I stay with the two of you?”

“Of course,” Derpy said, “But where are you going to sleep?”

“That won’t be a problem. I’ll show you the inside of my TARDIS.” The Doctor opened the door to the TARDIS all the way. Dinky ran right in, followed by her mother. Both were visibly surprised when they saw that the TARDIS was bigger on the inside than the outside.

“Just say it,” the Doctor said.

Dinky looked at him and asked, “You mean the TARDIS has an independent time-space continuum linked to the external universe through the entry door?”

“My daughter reads a lot,” Derpy explained, “Hopefully, she’ll attend Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. That’s where special Unicorn foals were taught how to use their develop their magic and use them to aid society.”

Author's Note:

This is set in my megacrossover multiverse, which can be found at http://megacrossover.wikia.com.

I'm taking the assumption that the original G1 cartoons are inaccurate depictions of Megan's adventures in Ponyland.

The Elder Council is inspired by the Elder Gods from the Cthulhu Mythos.

Comments

[acerbicCatharsis]

5 down votes?! Why? This is pritty good so far.

[Gherkin]

2371025

pritty

reactionface.info/sites/default/files/imagecache/Node_Page/images/1314029819767.png

Anyway, onto the story itself. Grammar, spelling and the like are fine, but the big problem here is pacing. The story moves faster than a damn bullet train. In less than five hundred words, The Doctor has gone from relaxing in the TARDIS to talking to colourful horses. You need to flesh out each scene, describe everything. Before Tau appears, show us what is going through The Doctor's head, how he is feeling, stuff like that.

Secondly, you're doing a lot of telling, instead of showing. What I mean is, dialogue just tells us things like "this happened. Then that happened," and it's very boring. Finally, dialogue is very flat. There seems to be no life in these characters. Most of them don't care about the supernatural nonsense going on about them (especially The Doctor, whose only reaction to becoming a pony seems to be "lol ok better go meet the locals"). You'd think Derpy would be a little more worried about a random stallion in a blue box crashing into her house who could be a potential threat to her daughter, wouldn't you?

Anyway, that's my two cents. This story's not necessarily bad, it's just not much good either. My advice is to look up some fanfic writing guides, as well as reading some good fics by other users (personally, I recommend Loyal2Luna's Doctor Whooves and Mass Effect stories). Well, good luck in the future.

~Gherkin8088, the self-proclaimed 'Crossover Guy'

[acerbicCatharsis]

2377886 congrats you've made fun of a dyslexic person who types on a phone with a broken keyboard's spelling. Also: ivve read all of those. The point of the voting system isn't to punish pppeople who are willing to try its to sort out the hopless cases and encourage those who are giving an honest effort. So yeah, go a head and faceppalm at my crippled attempts at spelling, at least Im not judging someone just because they arnt as good as one of the best writers on the site.

That said im getting off my soapbox now. I don't know if you down voted or not but you gve good constructive criticism so I don't/wouldent have a problem with you even if you did on that count. I just get annoyed when people down vote a story with an intresting idea behind it and don't say why.

[Gherkin]

2378737 Uh huh.

You realise the rest of my comment was directed at the author and not you, right? And I'm not judging him because he isn't better than Loyal, or any other author. Like I said, I was recommending him good fics to read that might help him improve.

[Pinkie13Pie]

Can you write more, I'm really enjoying this so much!