Chapter 4 – An Appropriate Stop for a Snack
Luna spent the remainder of the night lost in thought after her sister retired for the remainder of the night. Celestia was always honest about the events that occurred around the kingdom, however strange, but the very idea that Luna’s own sister had possessed Discord’s body? That seemed like utter rubbish from any angle one looked at it.
Still, Luna trusted her sister when Celestia said she had proof.
The princess of the night stood alone on the observatory deck. It was nearly time for the sun to rise, but Luna became impatient and set the moon down below the horizon early. It was only by a few minutes, not an event that many would even notice, so she had no issues to do such.
Once the moon was completely set, Luna noticed the warm orange glow of the rising sun from the east. It seemed Celestia had awakened early and had become impatient as well.
Luna closed her eyes and pictured the castle’s main entrance in her mind. She flapped her wings and from their feathers sprouted a cloud of dark purple shadow which engulfed the younger sister. A moment later the shadow vanished along with Luna, only to have reappeared at the main entrance to the castle below.
The guards on duty didn’t flinch at Luna’s teleportation, but instead they opened the front doors for her and bowed as she walked in. Luna walked her way to the main basement entrance, not far from the kitchen.
Celestia already stood by the gray stone entrance, eager to show Luna what she had found. The sun began to peek through the castle windows and reflected brilliantly off Celestia’s near-white coat. She looked far better now after several hours of sleep then she did last night.
“Come Luna!” Celestia said with an almost child-like whimsical tone. “See this enigma for yourself!” The monarch waved a wing at her sister to walk faster.
Luna shrugged and picked up her pace to join Celestia on the excursion. “Very well, sister,” Luna said casually. “Lead on.”
The two sisters descended the steps of the castle together and Celestia once again cast a magical orb of light at the tip of her horn. Luna never had difficulty when she navigated dark places. When the sisters were younger, Luna used to tease Celestia for her inability to see well in the darkness. She recalled that her older sister never found such antics amusing back then.
Now grown up, Luna mused that Celestia had become the more playful one while she herself had matured to take her royal duties quite seriously.
The younger sister’s memories forwarded to the here-and-now, however, as she wondered when she had toured the castle’s secondary basement. Luna’s memory failed to yield an answer. She had only lived at this castle for a little more than two years, but that was plenty of time to explore everything.
“Dear sister,” Luna asked, “Have you been to the second basement? Specifically, have you been down here before you discovered this enigmatic door.”
Celestia shook her head. “I honestly don’t remember. I would ask the servants if they had been down to this strange corridor, but I didn’t want to seem suspicious to the staff.”
“Save last night’s jaunt into freezing lake waters,” Luna added.
Celestia let out a little chuckle. “Yes, except for that.”
The two sisters reached and descended the small stairs that led down into the remote second basement of the castle. Luna followed Celestia closely, but once her hooves reached the cold stone floor the younger sister stopped abruptly. The darkness down here felt… different.
Celestia stopped and glanced back to her sister. “What is it, Luna?” she asked.
Luna let off a shiver. The shadows down here, made from Celestia’s magical light, appeared skewed. They also moved at a different pace compared to Celestia’s light. Furthermore, the darkness felt like it was breathing. There was a cold, dry current of air that softly caressed Luna’s legs.
“This place, this darkness,” Luna pointed out. “I can feel a consciousness down here.” Even the sound of Luna’s voice felt wrong. The echoes were somehow deeper as if they reflected from a much larger area.
Celestia gave her surroundings a quick glance. “Is someone else down here?”
“Nay, it is not a living entity,” Luna replied after some thought. “It is more like an imprint, an echo from an event in the past that has not yet ceased.”
“So like, ghosts?” Celestia asked.
Luna raised an eyebrow. “No, that would be stupid,” she replied. “What I describe is more like lingering energy from an errant magical effect or a traumatic incident.”
“I can’t think of any events like that in this castle’s history,” Celestia said, “Can you?”
Luna’s expression was very deadpan, but not angry. “Not since the last castle I lived in.”
“Ah, right,” Celestia said as she mentally slapped herself. “Forget I asked. Well, I’ll be sure to look into the idea later. Come then, let me show you the strange trap door.”
Celestia waved a wing to urge Luna onward. The two sisters walked alongside each other until they reached the extremely dark hallway with the eerily low ceiling. Luna tilted her head to the right. The style of the laid brickwork was consistent with the rest of this basement, but the dimensions resembled more of a child’s playhouse.
“Sister, is this part of the original castle?” Luna asked.
Celestia shrugged with a puzzled expression. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “As I said, I don’t remember if I’ve ever been down here before.”
“Nor can I,” Luna added. “I suppose we could search for the castle’s original blueprints.”
Celestia nodded and then allowed her sister to lead the way. They ducked their heads down and walked carefully through the tight space to the end of the strange hall. At the end, Luna saw the trap door Celestia had described, along with a broken crate and a few old books scattered about.
“So, this is your mysterious trap door?” Luna asked. “It looks… tame.”
“Yes, but it seems to be warded against magic,” a hesitant Celestia responded. “I tried a few spells to analyze it and the door resisted them all.”
“Stand aside sister,” Luna commanded. She focused a spell upon the trap door. Her magical horn glowed with a bluish light from spell’s effect, but the trap door did not glow in return. After ten seconds of strict concentration, Luna ceased her spell.
“Most curious,” the younger sister mumbled.
She approached the trap door and proceeded to open it manually. Celestia stepped forward with concern, but before the monarch could warn Luna of the danger, the younger sister mysteriously slipped on the smooth stone floor and fell into the dark hole of shadow.
“Luna!” Celestia shouted. “Luna, are you alright? Can you hear me?” The elder sister was wary to approach, but she listened carefully for a sign of her sister. Celestia heard nothing beyond the quickened heartbeat in her own chest. She took a step back from the open doorway on the floor. If Luna fell in, then…
Celestia slammed her head against the low ceiling. The pain stunned the princess for a moment before she regained her bearings. Celestia backed up until she was out of the tight passage and then she hurried back to the stairs. She had to find Discord, or more precisely, she had to find Discord’s body which was likely now possessed by Luna.
Princess Celestia ran through the dark basement hallways with her orb of light held in front. The shadows appeared to hold fast in their position, for none moved when her light passed through them. The princess pierced through their dark veils and leaped up the stairs from the basement to the ground floor with a thundering pounce.
Celestia galloped down one of the red carpeted halls in her search for Discord. Her chosen path lead toward the second tower, where up top was Discord’s bedroom. Ahead in the hallway Celestia saw two guards, a Unicorn and a Pegasus, listen to a frantic cook’s plea for help.
“And then Discord started shouting nonsense about dark sorcery,” the chef explained.
Celestia ran up to the group and interrupted them from bowing in her presence. “No time! Where is Discord now?” the Princess demanded of the cook.
“I last saw him in the kitchen, your majesty,” the aged mare chef responded.
Celestia turned to the two guards. “You, fetch Princess Twilight. You, come with me.” Celestia charged down the hallway towards the castle kitchen with the Unicorn guard that was barely able to keep up with the monarch’s grand stride. The Pegasus guard took flight through the hallway in the opposite direction.
Celestia turned left at an intersecting hallway where two other Unicorn guards were headed toward the kitchen. “You two, rally with me!” the monarch commanded as she galloped around them.
Celestia and her entourage arrived at the kitchen where a very confused Discord thrashed uncontrollably under containers of condiments that danced about and poured out their contents over the draconequus. Two cooks cowered together under the nearby steel tables as a set of sharp knives floated above them precariously.
“Guards, rescue the cooks!” Celestia ordered. “I’ll deal with Discord.”
The three guards leaped into action as they galloped ahead to secure the cooks. The levitating knives sensed the approaching guards and turned their sharp blades to the three Unicorn stallions.
Celestia charged at Discord and pinned him forcefully against the wall. “Lu- Uh, Discord, listen to me,” Celestia said with correction. “You must calm down or your chaotic magic won’t stop.”
“I am not Discord!” the draconequus angrily shouted back. “What nonsense is this? Where am I?”
Discord, or at least his physical self, continued to flail uncontrollably. His condiment-covered body slipped out of Celestia’s grasp and slid to the floor. The nearby oven came to life and spat a jet of fire into the kitchen. Nearby towels instantly combusted and the hot flames melted the icing off a delectable vanilla cake on the nearby table. What remained of the dessert burst into flames that dripped down to the ceramic stone floor.
“Oh come on!!” Celestia shouted crossly as she tried to pat out the burning cake with her wing.
The knives rained down upon the three guards, but the sentinels rolled out of the way. The sharp blades struck the ceramic floor and bounced off harmlessly. The guards sprinted forward and reached the two cooks under the table. They used their levitation magic to raise several metal trays up like shields and cover their charges protectively.
The oven refused to allow any pony to escape and spat another jet of fire at the Unicorns. The guards threw the cooks underneath them to shield the ponies from the scorching flames. The hovering trays were raised to block the fire, but the intense heat pierced through the metal platters and bit into the guards. The three Unicorns held fast against the burning wave of fire.
Celestia levitated a large pot of water and splashed the oven with the lukewarm liquid. The oven choked as the fire was drowned by the water. The flames died and turned to a mere puff of gray smoke.
In retaliation the oven sneezed out its contents at Celestia. The princess raised her wings instinctively as a large tub of burned cake batter splattered against her body. Dribbles of the hot chocolate mix slowly dripped down her wings, chest, and legs.
“Discord, you need to calm down!” Celestia shouted as she tried to shake off the burning batter.
The Pegasus guard named Blades arrived at the scene just as the knives stood up on their tips like soldiers on the battlefield. Blades dove at the metal table nearest the guards and cooks. He slammed a shoulder against the steel slab and flipped it over onto its side with a resounding crash.
“Go! Go! Go!” Blades shouted.
The deadly cutlery jumped at the ponies in a tall arc. They spun in the air and came down tips first at the group. The Pegasus guard pushed the table up to deflect the hail of sharp metal. Several knives bounced off the hard floor and spun around the metal table. The razor edges stabbed Blades in both his wings and his right shoulder. The Pegasus let out a grunt of pain, but held steady as the knives continued to crash against the unyielding steel table.
Two of the Unicorn guards dropped their trays and escorted the cooks out of the kitchen safely. The third guard levitated his tray over to smother the knives on the floor near Blades. He then rushed to the Pegasus’ side and lifted half the large steel table up into the air. The two sentries retreated from the field of quivering cutlery that threatened to stand up again.
“Forgive me, everyone,” Celestia whispered.
The princess magically levitated a cast iron frying pan and struck Discord hard in the head. The metal pan made a resounding ‘clang’ effect and the draconequus dropped unconsciously to the floor. The magical effects on the kitchen waned and ceased as quickly as Discord’s body did from the cast iron blow. The condiment jars all crashed to the ground and shattered against the hard clay floor. Glass tumbled across the ceramic floor in all directions like an ocean wave, embedded in the large glops of condiments and burned food that had fallen from the chaos.
The knives ceased their quivering and came to a standstill on the ceramic floor tiles. The oven continued to smoke harmlessly, although two pans were still on fire and a tray of bagels continued to smolder.
Celestia put the frying pan down as she too slumped to the floor, crestfallen. “Stupid, stupid me!” she berated herself. She turned to look at the guards in the hallway who escorted the cooks out of the kitchen.
“Is everyone alright?” the princess asked. Celestia clearly saw that her heroic sentinels were injured. The three stallions she led into the fray all bore burns from the oven’s fire while Blades bled visibly from both of his wings. By contrast, the hot batter Celestia was sprayed with left no lasting physical marks.
However, the cooks were unharmed and the guards were still in good spirits over the disaster. They patted each other on the backs for a successful rescue. This quickly stopped as the guards realized that touching light burns on one’s back hurt a lot.
“We are alright your highness,” one guard answered. “We’re just a bit on the medium-rare side, although I believe Blades is still bloody rare.”
“Permission to bleed all over the carpet, your highness?” Blades asked as he stumbled flat on the ground in his weakened state.
Celestia grabbed a clean towel that hung from a nearby sink. She then hurried to Blade’s side and ripped the towel into strips with her magic. The princess wrapped Blade’s wounds tightly and then lifted the Pegasus’ head with her fore-hooves to keep him comfortable until a doctor arrived.
“I will ensure that Captain Steel Shield commends you all for your bravery,” Celestia stated with tears in her eyes. They were more tears of guilt then they were liquid pride. Celestia blamed herself for the wounds the guards received. If only she warned Luna not to approach that trap door so intently.
“My princess,” Blades began softly, “If I may be granted one request of you?”
Celestia nodded. “Anything,” she replied.
“May I have a lick of that batter?” Blades asked, “It looks real delicious on you.”
Celestia’s cheeks blushed with embarrassment. She smeared Blade’s face with chocolate batter from her hoof and then promptly dropped him back to the floor. Apparently Blades was not as seriously stabbed as Celestia initially thought.
Blades licked the sweet cake mix off his face contently. The other guards chuckled at the messy-faced Pegasus. Even Blades laughed at himself.
Celestia shook her head, amazed that these guards could still joke after what just happened to them.
There was a dazzling flash of purple-white light accompanied by a low popping sound. Twilight appeared where the flash was, and she held a very concerned look upon her face.
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight shouted as she took in the sight of the trashed kitchen and injured guards.
“I’m alright, Twilight,” Celestia responded. She slowly stood up and before Twilight asked, Celestia gave a false explanation on the recent event. She spoke loudly so that every pony here heard her.
“Discord has been having fits of sleepwalking,” the monarch lied. “He usually isn’t harmful to others, but it appears that the kitchen was not a place for draconequus magic to play.”
“That’s the understatement of the day,” Twilight responded sarcastically.
One of the cooks scratched her head. “Discord seemed awake when he entered the kitchen,” the young mare said. “He came in just a few minutes ago to get a snack and then…”
The cook’s sentence trailed off as she saw Discord step out of the kitchen, dripping in mustard.
“And then what?” the draconequus angrily asked.
The cook recoiled in fear. Despite their injuries the guards held fast against the draconequus’ rage. Celestia waved at the sentinels to stand down, but the group hesitated before they eased away.
Discord only scoffed at them all. “First pony to make a comment about cutting the mustard gets turned into a newt,” the chaotic spirit threatened. The condiment-soaked draconequus stormed down the hallway and then disappeared in a flash of white light.
Several more guards showed up to the scene soon after Discord’s disappearance and with them were the castle doctor, a nurse, and several other servants. The staff came to Celestia first, but the noble princess brushed them away to help the others.
The doctor and nurse immediately tended to the injured guards while the servants attempted to clean up the half-burned kitchen.
Twilight pulled Celestia off to the side while everyone busied themselves to bring normalcy back to the kitchen. Once she was sure no one was within earshot, Twilight brought forward the tough question.
“Princess Celestia, what is really going on around here?” she asked. “I’m not questioning your explanation, but I feel that you withheld an important detail.”
Celestia let out a deep sigh. “Actually, my story is a complete lie.”
“Wait, you lied?” Twilight responded with surprise.
Celestia hushed Twilight’s risen volume. After a quick glance that ensured no pony was listening to them, she explained her reason. “I do not wish to cause a panic over this, but I discovered a strange trap door in the castle’s second basement. Whenever I enter it, I seem to possess Discord’s body. I can see through his eyes, feel through his hands, and it seems that I have some control over his chaotic magic.”
Celestia paused as she expected Twilight to ask a question, but her former student remained quiet despite the puzzled look Twilight wore. Celestia continued her story. “I had taken Luna down to see the trap door earlier this morning and she accidently fell in. It appears she panicked and such emotions caused Discord’s magic to run wild.”
Twilight blinked her eyes and waited for the punch line. Sadly, there wasn’t one. The purple Alicorn wanted to believe Celestia, but this was among the strangest stories she had ever heard of. Twilight finally collected her thoughts into a coherent question.
“So what happens when you leave Discord’s body?” Twilight asked.
“You get dumped into the small lake behind the castle,” Celestia answered.
Twilight’s curiosity for knowledge began to warm up. “Why there?”
“I don’t know,” Celestia said with a shrug. “It just works that way.”
“Does it happen every time?” Twilight followed up.
Princess Luna marched down the hall, her body soaked from head to toe. There were also reeds stuck in her dark, starry mane and tail. Celestia and Twilight watched as the dark blue princess ignored the servants that offered her a towel. Luna approached Celestia with a glare that was both angry and confused. Once she stood beside Celestia, she spat out some water.
Celestia returned her attention back to Twilight. “Yes, I’m quite certain it happens every time.”
Luna joined the conversation on a tangent. “I have just come to the conclusion that the ducks in our lake are conspiring against the crown and I am ready to declare war on them.”
“They didn’t take kindly to my sudden appearance either,” Celestia said. “However, I’d like to focus first and foremost on this trap door problem, which I suppose is only a problem if we keep jumping into it, but either way it should be dealt with.”
“Bury it, seal the basement, problem solved,” Luna quickly interjected.
Twilight raised a hoof in counterpoint. “I’d like to at least know why it’s there.”
“As do I,” Celestia added. “If it isn’t unique, then we must learn how we can prevent another one like it from taking up residence in our castle. Luna, search the library records for the castle blueprints. See if that hallway existed in the original plans. Twilight, round up the royal alchemists and check the lake for anything unusual. Maybe you can discover why that is the exit point.”
Twilight continued to be inquisitive. “Shouldn’t Luna and I switch roles?” she asked, “I would be much more efficient doing the research at the library.”
“I know,” Celestia said, “But I don’t need Luna starting a crusade against the ducks until after the meeting with the griffon dignitaries. Speaking of which, I should take my leave. The griffons will be arriving any minute now.”
“Aren’t you forgetting something, sister?” Luna asked with a pointed tone.
Celestia appeared puzzled. “No, I do not believe so. The reports are ready and I’m sure a luncheon can still be whipped up for our guests. Now if you will excuse me, Luna? I don’t want to be late to welcome the griffons when they arrive.”
Celestia left the scene and walked toward the main castle entrance.
Luna watched her sister pass by all the servants before she turned to Twilight with a concerned expression. “My sister must be preoccupied with a plethora of thoughts right now,” Luna stated.
“Yeah, she is,” Twilight said in agreement. After a moment’s pause, she pointed out the obvious. “Celestia doesn’t realize that she’s still covered in chocolate cake batter, does she?”
“Completely oblivious,” Luna responded.
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Soldiers always joke their way through the pain.
Celestia better pass a mirror soon. Or maybe we need to see a few stupefied Griffins. This could be hilarious - oh, wait... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png
Today is a good day.
>Evil laughter
This is gonna be good...
You know, I have to wonder how long the trap door has been there. Obviously it's creation has SOMETHING to do with Discord. The actual purpose of it could vary wildly based on when it was made. If it was only made recently (post-"Keep Calm and Flutter On") then maybe he just made it to give Celestia/Luna a way to walk a mile in his metaphorical shoes. If it was around during the time that Discord was imprisoned in stone, then it there is a possibility of maliciousness in it. If somepony entered it while he was imprisoned in stone, then they would be trapped in the statue in his place, while to Discord's perspective the amount of time he is imprisoned in the statue would be lessened. It has a real big "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream" vibe to it.
Or maybe I'm totally over-thinking this and Discord simply made it on a whim one day and promptly forgot about it.
I was momentarily confused by the sudden shift, until I remembered that you had added something to chapter 3. Upon reading that, the beginning of this chapter suddenly made much more sense
The chapters continue to amuse
And a couple minor errors
This sentence is a little weird to me, but I think those corrections fit your intention
Blueprints is normally one word.
2412048
Thanks for the proofreading help there! "Blueprints" remains a tricky word for me.
2403446
Well, you keep getting royal praise. This should be a good sign!
Almost caught up! Just one last chapter, and then I can sleep!