Preparing Phase Nine
… And while your suggestions are certainly understandable - may I even admit, admirable - the crown of Equestria does not intend to budge in on the dining habits of our inhabitants in any way that does not include obviously poisonous and harmful substances.
And though ponies, sheep, cows, donkeys and goats would not suffer any harm from it, a compulsory vegan diet would basically force all omnivores and the few carnivorous inhabitants of Equestria into illegality. Further, it would destroy the dairy and hatchery economy, which is currently in the hooves of thousands of cows and gives most of our chicken population their homes.
It would go against the ideals of harmony and tolerance that our beloved home is based on. The crown encourages healthy eating and exercise, but we would never enforce it.
I hope the Vegan League sees this and understands the position of the crown.
Her Serene Majesty, Princess Luna of Equestria
Luna let out a sigh and let her quill hover into its socket. Then she closed her inkwell and sealed the letter. Whole Grain, the leader of the Vegan League and well-meaning-yet-pompous jerk, would probably throw a tantrum over her refusal to ban all non-vegan foodstuffs in the kingdom, but the princess had no intention of depriving her people (and herself) of the joys that a vegetarian cuisine could give. The fact that soy didn’t grow naturally in Equestria and her own love for that amazing crème that her personal cook called his specialty (at least 10 eggs per serving) were only two further reasons to reject the proposal.
“At least they mean well… “, she muttered. Then she placed the letter in the “OUT” tray on her work-table and sipped the last bit of her coffee. It was full of answers to letters and proposals directed at her. After the panic about Celestia’s holiday had ceised crippling them, every pony who had ever written a demand or proposal Celestia had rejected was coming out of the woods now and proposing it again, hoping that Luna would allow it. So far, Luna had rejected all of them, their reasoning ranging from “Too many naked butts; make pants mandatory!” to “Forced servitude for anypony below knighthood!”.
It was indeed a nice change that society had recognized their new princess… as an opportunity to dig their hooves into and use for their own benefit. Well… at least they didn’t openly try to revolt anymore. Though that was at least honest.
Finally, Luna cleaned up her work and left the letters for the servants to collect. Worktime was done for now, and she had more to plot and set in motion. And she also had to inform her subjects about their first victory. The trouble with the ninja had overshadowed their last encounter. This time, she would tell them that they had succeeded in their set-up and that they simply had to keep the fresh couple safe from harm and distraction. How difficult cou… NO! She would not even consider thinking that question! That never ended well!
The princess nodded to herself and left her office, heading straight for the guest room Agent Shadow and Autumn had taken after the last one had to be vacated due to a princess smashing the door in. It was not vandalism if it was your own door, right?
Luna took a deep breath just in front of the door, then closed in to knock. But as she was about to raise her hoof, she was interrupted by a soft, melodic singing echoed through the door. Luna stopped herself and instead leaned closer, listening to the song.
“There’s a time when the moon reveals itself through the clouds
I let out a sigh and want to cry out loud”
Luna raised her eyebrows. The song had been one of the few that her followers had composed to ease ponies into the concept of the eternal night. Leave it to her biggest fan to get two decent songwriters to join his cult. Though many of their works had never been made public, basically all of followers knew them by heart. But what truly surprised her was how well Diamond Shadow could sing. She had not expected the hard-nosed batpony to be a rather decent songstress.
“But deep in my heart, I feel love so alive
In the depth of my soul I know we will survive!”
A bit sad, but full of hope. A wonderful thing to have in a world of darkness.
The moon princess shook her head and forced herself to break the spell and knocked on the door.
The song ended abruptly, and Luna waited patiently for. The soft clopping of four hooves approached the door from the other side, until it at last was opened slowly.
“She is still fully armored up. And she leaves enough room so that I can’t punch her and stands in a way that makes it impossible for me to slam the door in her face…” Luna noted mentally. Apparently, Diamond Shadow had no intention of being surprised again. But there was more than that catching Luna’s attention.
“Oh… Princess, it’s you.” The bat pony muttered. “I’ll wake up-“
“Diamond Shadow, would you please come with me for a moment?” Luna interrupted quickly and firmly. The smaller mare hid her surprise, and simply nodded before allowing herself to look back with both worry and longing.
“Maybe we can stay if it would make you feel better?” Luna said gently, and Diamond Shadow made place to let her into the room. “You haven’t slept one second since the attack, have you?” the moon princess asked gently.
“Is it that obvious?”
“No, your mask is as good as ever, but when I wanted to link your dream with Autumn’s again, I noticed that you were absent in the dreaming world.” Luna replied and pointed to the smaller mare’s swollen eyes “And the fact that you have been crying is obvious.”
Diamond Shadow let out a low sigh and averted her gaze in shame.
“It seems weird to me that a seasoned soldier like you takes this worse than Autumn.” Luna said gently. It was time to channel her sister again. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“What is there to talk about?” the smaller mare asked softly. Her eyes went to her sleeping fiance. “I screwed up… I almost lost him… again.”
Luna suppressed the urge to object. There was more to listen to.
“I... I’m supposed to protect him. He’s a scholar… a leader… not a fighter. I am supposed to be there for him. I should have defended him.” Diamond Shadow muttered, her eyes slowly filling with tears. “But I didn’t even wake up.”
“But-“
“If you hadn’t linked up our dreams and his sudden absence hadn’t snapped me awake… and if he wasn’t him… he… he… that mule would have taken him away.” The mare sat down with a soft thud, her eyes firmly on the spot between her front-hooves. “I messed up… and I almost lost him…”
Quietly, Luna stepped towards her protecto. The batpony’s tears began to fall one after the other.
“Princess? Can I ask you a question?” Diamond Shadow said suddenly raising her eyes to look directly at Luna.
“Of course…” Luna answered, caught off-guard by the sudden question.
“Do you want him?”
“What?!” The moon princess blurred out. Luckily, Autumn was a deep sleeper.
“Just tell me: Do you want him?” Diamond Shadow asked -almost aggressively- tears streaming down her cheeks. “Do you feel even a little spark between you when you spend time with him? Isn’t there at least a little warmth in your chest when you see him eagerly explaining stuff? Can you really say that you never sneak peaks on him when he walks past you?”
“Agent Shadow… are you jealous?” Luna asked softly.
“No! No… I…” The bat pony’s eyes returned to her hooves. “I want him to be happy… I want…” her eyes returned to Luna “You to be happy… and if you feel even the smallest hint of attraction. If you think that you could ever… love him… then I would-“
“You are offering your fiancée?”
Diamond Shadow took a deep breath and finally looked back into Luna’s eyes. “Yes, I am. I love him. I want him to be happy. And I know that there is only one pony in the world that could possibly make him happier than I could. And that pony is the princess that I owe everything to. The one other pony in my life that I want to see happy.” She sighed again, and a soft smile crept onto her features. “How could I ever marry him if I knew that the two of you could be so much happier with each other?” A hint of despair entered her voice as she continued. “I… I promise, you would love him. He is kind and gentle and dedicated and so…” she sobbed loudly, but forced herself to continue “so adorable when something he planned works out…” A tremble ran through the mare as she fought the urge to turn and look at the stallion she was praising.
Luna sighed heavily and took another step towards the now shivering mare. “You don’t mean that…”
“Yes I do!” Diamond Shadow sobbed. “He deserves better! He deserves everything! He should be sitting by your side, advising your rule while the followers work for a better Equestria! He… he shouldn’t be stuck with a mare that played him and all his friends like a fiddle for years and drove a knife into his back when he needed me most.” The mare tried to steady her breath and forced some calm back into her voice. “It used to be so easy, Princess. I never felt this before. I never felt remorse when I betrayed others. I… I hardly ever felt anything! And now there is so much love that I don’t deserve!”
The moon princess swallowed. She had taken a look at Diamond Shadow’s work. During her time as a secret agent, the pegasus had infiltrated a crime syndicate of snowflake forgers for more than two years. She had worked with them, celebrated Hearth’s Warming Eve with them, laughed and drank with them. And, when the time came, she had coldly helped with arresting them. And when one had tried to escape, she had hunted him down, smacked him unconscious with one of the molding plates they had used to flood the snowflake market and dragged him back to the guard.
In the distant past, Luna had met ponies like her. They were completely normal and well-adjusted. But in the sea of their souls was a maelstrom where others had their conscience. They were capable of things that would make King Sombra shake his head, but they lacked the ambition of a tyrant. They made amazing agents.
But now the worst thing imaginable had happened to Agent Shadow: Love had filled that greedy void in her soul. And now a fleet sailed over that passage, heavily laden with regrets and sorrow.
Woe to the monster that understands its own nature. No wonder vamponies feared mirrors.
Luna knew that feeling.
What had helped her through the moments when the regret hurt the most?
Slowly, she extended her foreleg and pulled Diamond Shadow into a firm embrace. The pegasus tensed up for a moment, but soon relaxed and leaned her forehead against the Princess’ shoulder. Luna held her close and gently rubbed her back. “I know what it means to have terrible deeds on your consciousness, Diamond.” Luna whispered gently “But if you try to punish yourself, you will just produce more sorrow. Autumn has forgiven you. He loves you. And he completes you as much as you complete him. I think it is time that you forgive yourself.”
Slowly, Diamond Shadow pulled back and looked up into the princess’ gentle eyes.
“A lot has happened over the last few days. Autumn accepting my call, the distress with the nobles, you proposing marriage to him and the attack of the ninja. It is understandable that your feelings are in turmoil.” Luna explained as gently as possible, hoping that she would use the right words. “And don’t forget that I need you, too…” A soft smile invaded Luna’s features “I can’t just allow one of my staunch night guards to walk away like that.”
Diamond Shadow sniffed once and let out a soft chuckle. “Leave it to Autumn to follow the best princess of them all…” she mumbled shaking her head softly.
Luna couldn’t help but feel a pang of pride bubble up in her heart. It was nice to help and receive a little love for it. She could have used more ponies like these a thousand years ago. The moon princess pulled her protector close once more and rested her head on Diamond’s, eyes drifting to the bed where her biggest fan was still sleeping.
Suddenly, Autumn let out a snort and turned over, eyes half-open and still laden with sleep. A few nerves in them noticed his two favourite mares embracing each other tightly, their gentle eyes focused on him.
“Chr… can’t dream that…” he mumbled softly “Luna would kill me…” And turned around to continue sleeping.
A huge blush invaded Luna’s features, and Diamond Shadow began to laugh softly. Quickly, the two let go of each other and moved apart.
“Would you?” Diamond Shadow asked suddenly, a hint of teasing in her voice.
Luna blushed even deeper and cleared her throat loudly. “I do not judge my subjects based on what their subconscious does for, to and with them.” The moon princess stated firmly. She did not want to go deeper into this. She had seen Diamond Shadow’s dreams, and found that her staunch protector had simple tastes but great hunger. One had included a group of five Autumns. How did one call a group of Autumns? A flock? A herd? A calendar?
“I think you should wake him up…” Luna said quickly, “I have an announcement to make.”
“Yes… better get him out before dream you and dream me-“ Diamond Shadow began, but a disapproving look from Luna stopped her.
The bat pony made her way to the bed. “Sweetie!” she whispered gently, all while crawling onto the bed “Your lady and mistress demands your attention… and Princess Luna needs something, too.”
Autumn let out a grumble and pushed his head deeper into the pillow.
“Wrong answer…” Diamond quipped, raising her wing. It went down in a blur, and a juicy smack rang through the room as it made contact with Autumn’s haunch.
The stallion’s eyes shot open, and he let out a scared whinny. His eyes went over his surroundings until they finally focused on his fiancée.
“Good afternoon, honey…” Diamond Shadow said gently pushing a little kiss on his nose. “How about you make yourself presentable? The princess wants to announce something, and we don’t want to make her wait, do we?”
The stallion was clearly not quite awake yet, and simply nodded, crawling off the bed and making his way toward the bathroom.
Diamond Shadow smiled and turned around, only to see that Luna had taken quite an interest in the carpet. A blush invaded the agent’s features, and she stepped off the bed. “Erm… sorry for that, princess… but he has such a blessed sleep. I could scream my lungs out and he wouldn’t move.”
Luna nodded letting out a small sigh. “I understand that you two have a healthy, mature relationship. I truly do. I know that I must seem like a thousand years behind on these things… but please understand me: I spend much time in the land of lawlessness and unbridled imagination. And even I can’t escape the more private dreams of my subjects. Especially when those dreamers need a helping hoof… What I am trying to say is… in the dream world, the rules of impulse and instinct are so simple and easy to follow. But the waking world has changed so much. I do have problems adjusting even now.”
The bat pony nodded. “So… you have to catch up on 1000 years of change in one world, while pretty much everything stayed the same in the other?"
“Not quite… Dreams are a reflection of reality in many ways, and with every rule change on the one side, the other reacts. While some aspects stay the same, many details, such as guilt over transgressions or self-image, did evolve dramatically.” Luna explained further. “Not to be rude, but even the idea of having a childless marriage would have been preposterous at best.”
“And to you 1000 years were like two years ago…” Diamond Shadow finished the thought.
Luna sighed. “My predicament is my fault and burden. My antiquated ideas should not interfere with my ability to interact with you!”
“No, princess… I can get a bit too clingy around him. Especially lately…” The bat pony said with a shaking of her head “It’s just… It’s the first time in our relationship isn’t a burden to me. That I can actually enjoy being with him…” she sighed softly “The first part of our love was full of my lies and betrayal. The second third was all about me feeling terrible and trying to make amends to him and the others… and now, finally, I get to be happy and-“
“And then a ninja shows up.” Luna concluded offering a smile. “Don’t consider this to be an omen. My nephew’s idiocy is not a deed done by the whims of fate… He simply is a disgrace…”
Diamond Shadow raised her eyebrow. “Wait, if he’s your nephew AND Celestia’s nephew, then who is the…”
“Prince Blueblood’s family is the royal family of the unicorn dynasty. They were adopted by Celestia and me after we were declared rulers of Equestria by the power of the three tribes. At the time, an important and exalted deed. These days, merely a formality, as it seems. They are all to be treated as close family. No matter what light that might put on us.”
“You’re not happy with how they turned out?”
“Indeed…” Luna grumbled. Yes, Princess Platinum had gone down in history as a spoiled brat and horrid ruler, but historians considered her a small fluke among the monarchs. And whatever she had caused, her grandmother, Lady Reingold, had been the one to promote Starswirl the Bearded to Royal Sage and had his entire works copied and published. Some titled her the inventor of the unicornian school system.
It was at this point that Autumn returned from the bathroom, teeth freshly brushed, mane combed, horn filed, face squeaky clean and scarf hiding anything unusual.
“Now you are up to grooming standards!” Diamond Shadow said with a smile. The two ponies turned to their princess, eager to listen.
“Very well, my followers.” Luna said and quickly cleared her throat. “I am pleased to announce our first victory: Celestia has informed me that Twilight Sparkle has revealed her love to her and has accepted her as her suitor. I was able to express my happiness and followed my sisterly duty to appropriately rub my rightness in her face!”
The two followers simultaneously threw their hooves in the air and let out a cheer. “Wohoo! The rightness has been rubbed in the face!” Autumn announced happily.
“Indeed! But do not celebrate prematurely, my followers. This ship has not sailed yet! Our next step needs to be the close observation and protection of the two lovebirds. Ensuring that they can express their feelings uninterrupted is essential! Celestia is selfless to a fault, and will abort this holiday the moment that any news of discontent reaches her. And with Blueblood stomping about, I doubt that we will be left in peace.” Luna declared seriously. She began to pace in front of her followers “We have to keep our eyes peeled and our ears open. This-“
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
“Excuse me? Is Princess Luna present?” a strong, firm voice rang through the door. “There’s a letter for her. And a message from Princess Celestia!”
“Come in!” Luna announced loudly.
The door opened, and Phalanx of the day guard entered the room. He was greeted by a sophisticated nod by Luna, a comradely salute from Diamond Shadow and Autumn looking at the two mares in confusion and wondering how he was supposed to greet.
“Princess Celestia has announced that she will be dining with the parents of her student this evening.” He explained calmly “And I was also given this message from a messenger. It is apparently important.” The guard produced a letter, bearing the seal of the royal family of unicorns.
Luna managed to hide her flinching and took the letters. “Thank you, Phalanx. I am grateful that you informed me first. That will be all for now.”
Phalanx saluted and turned to go.
The door’s closing was met with a huge grin spreading across Luna’s face. “This is fantastic! This means that Celestia is about to ask for permission from Twilight’s parents tonight!”
“Permission?” Diamond Shadow asked in confusion. “What would Celestia need permission from Sparkle’s parents for? Doesn’t she outrank everyone?”
Luna rolled her eyes. “She will officially ask for the permission to court Twilight Sparkle, of course.” Her eyes wandered to Autumn. “Did Autumn never ask your parent’s permission?”
“From MY mom?” Diamond Shadow scoffed, “That would have been rich! She would have swapped me in for a barrel of cider and a bunch of headache potions…”
“And before you ask: My parents don’t talk to me anymore, so my love here couldn’t ask them for their permission, either.” Autumn explained quickly.
A shiver of discomfort ran over Luna’s spine. “Yes, I read about it in your file… Erm… you two don’t seem to take it too badly…” she offered politely.
“The followers are our family!” Autumn said firmly and eagerly.
The moon princess offered a nod. It was strange to see a cult leader who actually meant it when he said stuff like that. “Anyways, we will need to make precautions for tonight. One of you will have to keep an eye on our two lovebirds. But first, let’s have a look what Blueblood wants…”
The glow from her horn tore the letter open and Luna quickly read through the document.
“What?!” She suddenly exclaimed, the letter shaking in her magic. “This… this is… this… this is unexpectedly clever!”
“Princess?” Autumn asked carefully.
“Blueblood has asked for a formal consultation in the setting of a dinner this evening.” Luna explained in a tense voice. “Not a major thing, but etiquette demands that one of the current rulers is present at the time. He clearly banks on me either denying him, which would cast me in a bad light, me canceling night court to humour him, which would be equally bad, or me fetching Celestia, which would cancel her holiday!”
“Are you sure this is Blueblood’s doing?” Diamond Shadow asked with concern. “This sounds almost… smart…”
“I am as shocked as you are! This is a tough one… While I could take the political heat, he would probably continue to pick on us until he got enough dirt for the nobles to act out.” Luna speculated, setting the letter on the table. “We have to come up with an idea as quickly as possible.”
“Isn’t there a pony that can run court when you or Celestia are busy?” Diamond asked, scratching the back of her head.
“Like a seneschal or something?” Autumn offered.
“We used to have a seneschal, but Celestia told me that she used that title so little, she stopped bothering to give it to anypony.” Luna explained quickly “If I had a seneschal, I could have them handle Blueblood until I am done with night court.” her eyes opened a bit wider, and she looked at her followers. “Listen carefully! I need you two to go and fetch the “Nobilite Notablissime” and the “Titulus Titanicus” from the library! I need to know if Celestia changed a few details, and I don’t want any servants to grow suspicious! We shall meet in my quarters!”
The two smaller ponies nodded in unison and galloped off.
Luna looked after them and let out a sigh. This kind of devotion felt very nice…
After a few seconds of quiet content, the moon princess returned to reality and focused her magic. With a plop, she disappeared rematerializing inside her chambers. Slowly, she trotted towards the mirror, she had prepared for communication and tapped the surface. After a few moments, a mostly familiar face appeared on the surface.
Of course, it was not Luna’s face.
“Red! Do you have time for a status report?” Luna asked the mirror.
“Everything is fine, Princess!” Red Devil Apple answered calmly and firmly. “Apparently, a couch in the middle of the street caused some ruckus, but the whole town was quiet and calm.”
“Very well, Red. Keep your eyes peeled and your ears open.” Luna stressed.
“Yes, Princess, I will.”
“And… Sorry, but I have to ask…” Luna sighed and gave into curiosity “Why are you wearing lipstick and eye shadow?”
Red’s chin dropped. “Erm… Cousin Applebloom found the powder box, and after she nagged me why I kept it close by, I pretended that it was mine… Then she and her friends wanted to help pretty me up, and it got a bit out of hand…” He bit his lip. “I felt like such a slut…”
“Erm… ok… But how does the pearl necklace, the huge pink bow and what seems to be a laced dress come into it?”
Red began to tear up. “When… when Granny Smith saw me running around all painted up, she took me aside and explained to me that she… that she… that she would always love me, no matter how I felt about myself… then she gave me great-grandmother’s pearls and called in the entire family to wish me well… and cousin Bloom gave me one of her bows…” The stallion broke out into tears “They are such a wonderful family, and I love them soooooo much! I should visit them more often but I am soooo ashamed! I ran away from them like a stupid little colt, and now they don’t even know me anymore.”
Luna nodded gently. “Red, please. If Ponyville is truly quiet, please take the time to mend some fences. Just keep me updated in case anything happens.” She said as carefully as possible.
Red just nodded, mascara running over his cheeks.
“And Red… I understand your cousin means well, but please drop the bow. That pink classes fiercely with your coat. Luna out.” The moon princess added quickly, deactivating the mirror. Then she let out a sigh. She was truly beginning to enjoy her followers, but she also hoped that the crazy was not rubbing off on her. Otherwise she’d have to change her name to Princess Lunacy.
And while she was at it, she also had to figure out what a "slut" was!
-
Meanwhile, Autumn and Diamond Shadow arrived at the royal library. The two quickly narrowed down where to look for the desired books and began going through the shelves.
“This reminds me of the days we spent studying in here…” Autumn said. He looked through the bottom shelves, while the pegasus was hovering around the shelves above him. “On some days, our teachers would let us at whatever topic we wanted to, and we would just study the hours away…”
“I bet YOU would study the hours away while your classmates would do what real foals do…” Diamond Shadow teased. “If you don’t believe me, this is the third book that’s been very creatively vandalized.”
“Yes… they let us in here way too early!” Autumn deadpanned “But it was safer than that one time one of the junior classes got their head stuck in a flask. Or a beaker… I’m not sure anymore,”
“I am honestly surprised that wasn’t you.”
“I almost burned my eye out in that acid spill…” the stallion sighed, his hoof reaching for the scar below his eye, “I got careful after that. Never put water into acid! Always the other way around!”
Diamond let out a snort. “Yes, you got yourself expelled extremely carefully…” she said with a giggle grabbing a book in front of her.
“Hey, at least I got in…” Autumn protested. He was silenced by the “Titulus Titanicus”, Equestria’s basic guide to titles, being held in front of his eyes from above. “Hey, great! Now we-“ He swallowed his words once he noticed that Diamond Shadow was still descending. Her hind legs first touching and then encircling his barrel until she finally landed her rear on his back. She dropped the book and wrapped her forelegs around his neck, while snuggling her cheek against his. Autumn blushed fiercely at the feeling of her weight on him and her warm embrace. Her armour was pressing against the back of his head, but he could ignore that detail. “What did I do to earn this?” he asked with a soft giggle.
“You are my cute and adorable fiancé.” Diamond Shadow teased gently “And I can hardly snuggle you like this when Luna is around…”
“Now this is more like school…” Autumn snickered, then went serious “Only you and I would be different ponies, and I would be in that booth over there with my head in a book, desperately trying to ignore what was going on so nobody would beat me up…”
Diamond was about to answer when she heard hoofbeat approaching. Seeing something purple approach through the door, the bat pony held onto Autumn with her hindlegs and flapped her wings as vigorously as possible. The unicorn, meanwhile, barely managed to grab the book on the floor before he was air-lifted into the next booth. The bat pony was able to close the door in the nick of time, only able to confirm that it was Twilight Sparkle who had just entered the library.
“Wha-“ Autumn attempted to ask, only to be silenced by Diamond Shadow putting her hoof on his lips.
“It’s Sparkle!” the batpony whispered. “I don’t think that she saw us, but keep quiet! She’s probably going to get suspicious when she sees us dilly-dallying around the library.”
Autumn nodded and bit his lip. “Erm… Honey… could you get off me for now… You know that I’m a wimp… and your armour is heavy”
“That was the smart way of saying it.” Diamond Shadow giggled quietly, slowly dismounting the unicorn. “We just have to keep quiet until she leaves.”
The seconds turned to minutes. The two ponies sat in complete silence, only listening to the clopping of Twilight’s hooves on the floor and the one or two times she said something to herself. The two managed being quiet very well for a pegasus in full armour and a civilian. At least until the movement outside stopped and Diamond Shadow decided to risk another look. In a second on carelessness, her hoof got stuck in a carpet and she pulled it out from under a lectern. The wooden object fell over loudly, causing both ponies to freeze for a moment.
“What now?” Autumn hissed “No way she didn’t hear that!”
“There’s only one exit, and it’s too small to hide!” Diamond said coldly, looking around. She was running out of options.
“Can’t we, like… do something to make her go away? Make out or something… that works in the novels…”
Diamond Shadow rolled her eyes. “Yes, in trash literature! That would only work if she was the most prudish and repressed mare on the surface of Equestria!”
Autumn paused for a moment. “Erm… yeah, that’s Sparkle, all right!”
“How would you know?”
“She was two classes lower than me in school! Trust me, she was legendary! All colts snickered about it! She once hit the alarm cause she thought there was a gas leak when she walked past an older mare in heat!”
The pegasus let out a snort. Sure, it was a long shot, but what else could they do. “Fine, let’s give her a show. But if it doesn’t work, let me do the talking!”
“Ok so-“ Autumn began, but he never finished. Diamond Shadow had already grabbed him and pushed him against the wall. For a moment, the stallion’s heart stopped by two slitted eyes pierced his gaze. Diamond Shadow made sure he never forgot that he was in love with a predator. Then a pair of hot, blue lips was pressed onto his, and his mind went blank.
Diamond Shadow, on the other hand, did not allow herself the luxury of giving into her instinct. Her whole plan was to keep the Twilight from Autumn with her body and ensuring that she dominated the visuals, so the stallion wouldn’t give the two away by making eye-contact with Twilight. They could not allow any acknowledgement of the other mare, or they might lose the illusion and be asked questions.
The issue was that Autumn was now pushing back a little, his lips moving with hers and his forelegs wrapping themselves around her neck. Luna, when did he get so good at this? He was making her head feel fuzzy by rubbing her neck like that!
Not good! She had to keep control of this. Sparkle hadn’t even reached the door yet.
With a titanic amount of willpower, the pegasus reached up and pulled Autumn’s hair back, making the stallion shiver helplessly and relent his assault. Diamond Shadow felt terrible for pushing his buttons like this, but the mission came first.
Finally, she heard the door open behind her. A heartbeat later, she could FEEL Twilight’s gaze burn holes into her back. One little mistake could foil this whole thing! One little moment of being unrealistic and this would go south.
This was tense. This was frightening. This was mind-breaking.
And it was also bucking exciting.
Being watched surely wasn’t Diamond Shadow’s kink, but turning a moment of tenderness into a tense mindgame of deceit was like playing checkers with a gluttonous pro gamer and then telling him that all the board was also entirely made of chocolate.
Still, she still had a grip on herself.
All she needed to do was wait it out?
Until the darn peeper behind her finally left.
“Why are you still standing around, you darn pervert! Don’t you have a traitor princess to make out with?” Diamond Shadow screamed mentally checking her options. Maybe if she pulled away and began whispering naughtiness into Autumn’s ear? Or if she began to wiggle her flank? Luna, did she just consider flashing Twilight Sparkle? That went even too far for her… WAIT! Were those hoofbeats? YES! The unicorn was turning around! YES! She was galloping away!
Barely able to breath, Diamond Shadow pushed herself away from her sweaty, twitching lover.
Then she collapsed next to him, her chest heaving against her breastplate. “This was the worst idea… you’ve ever had!” she groaned.
“Uh-hu…” Autumn muttered.
“Sparkle almost didn’t leave!”
“Uh-hu…”
“What if she calls for the guard because two ponies are doing it in the library?”
“Uh-hu…”
“Luna would kill us if she heard that!”
“Uh-hu…”
“Great… I literally bucked his brain out. It finally happened!”
“Wow…” Autumn finally managed to formulate. “That was… amazing…”
“Yes, but that’s not the point!” Diamond Shadow groaned. She shot her lover a glance and instantly regretted it. She caught a gentle gaze of absolute devotion that only true love and certain love poisons could produce. The one that always made her heart melt.
“Autumn!” She sighed “We have to get up and look for the other book!” Her mind didn’t seem to register that her body was crawling towards the stallion.
“Right! We need to return the books to Luna and thwart Blueblood!” Autumn said gently, his forelegs slowly wrapping around his fiancé.
“Then why aren’t we getting up and doing our job?” Diamond asked with a hint of despair. All while she began to rub her cheek against Autumn’s.
“Because all I care about at the moment is you…”
“Same here…” he batpony trailed off in thought, her eyes narrowing pensively. She then appeared to reach a conclusion: "RAWR!"
-
Some time later, and in Luna’s quarters, the moon princess eagerly accepted the two books she had ordered. “Very good. But I am surprised a simple trip to the library took you this long…” the princess stated, casually flipping through the volumes.
“We had a run in with Twilight Sparkle…” Diamond Shadow admitted calmly “And I have to report that though she did see us, we managed to avoid being suspicious and being questioned.”
“Are you sure you did not attract her suspicion?”
“Trust me, she has no idea why we were even close to the library or even in the castle!” Diamond Shadow stressed.
“So I suppose your distraction took some time?” Luna asked carefully.
“Indeed. The distraction took a while…” Diamond Shadow said with a nod. "And we would still be distracted if we hadn’t rolled into that bookshelf. And hadn’t knocked that other book off right onto Autumn’s head, so he bit both our tongues."
“It matters not! The meeting between Celestia and Twilight Sparkle’s parents should overshadow her attention for now.” Luna lowered the book and a smirk entering her features. “And I have found what I was looking for!”
The two followers stooped a little closer, listening curiously to their princess.
“As I was hoping, the title of seneschal has not been altered. It can still be mantled by any adult pony of at least minor noble standing.” Her eyes went to Autumn “A pony like you, Autumn!”
“WHAT?” Autumn screamed “I am no noble!”
Diamond Shadow shook her head as well “He really isn’t! I mean… I call him ‘my king’ sometimes, but that hardly counts…”
Luna sighed. “Autumn, you are one of the descendants of Sulciceps Galerina.” She said seriously “Your name, your cutie mark and your talents do not leave any doubt in mind. And while, due to her, your family has been stripped of all their titles you still hold a claim to them. A weak claim, given that you are not the oldest Galerina alive, but still good enough to allow me to name you my seneschal.”
Autumn blinked a few times. “We are really scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one.”
The books before Luna floated slowly towards her desk. “Indeed we are. But it is enough to satisfy anyone who might look into the matter. Anyways, our course for this night is set! I shall hold night court. Diamond Shadow will follow the two lovebirds to their dinner and ensure that it shall not be interrupted. And Autumn will humor and ultimately foil Prince Blueblood.”
The two smaller ponies nodded if only, after a few moments, Autumn slowly raised a hoof. “Princess…” he said slowly “You know that my devotion is boundless, and that I would walk into Tartarus, open all the cages and make obscene gestures at the monsters trapped in there for you…” He swallowed and sighed “But this is really pushing it.”
Luna’s eye softened instantly. “I agree.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.026 seconds
Total duration
1,096 users online
2,092,693 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Time to re-read!
DO IT! DO IT! at least you'll die happy!
This. This is one of those great examples that I love this story. It's freaking hilarious!
Please keep writing! Please please please!
Ah, I love the sense of humor in this fic. Awesome to see the author has a bit of free time to give it some love!
Ceased.
Fiancée is the correctly gendered term.
Woohoo is normally the way it is spelled, but as it is not a real word, I guess you could get away with wohoo.
I assume you mean lectern, and not a cannibal.
I would use pro-gamer, as for a while I thought you had misspelled programmer
That's all I noticed on the first reading.
Also: ɐɥ ɯɐʍ ƃɐʍp ıʇ ɟǝɹuǝɹןɐʎ ndpǝɹʇǝp¡
But in all seriousness, this was a great chapter. Going to have to go back through this story to catch up again though. Oh no, you've given me a reason to read the entire story again. Fiend!
this. this is why i do not remove stories from my bookshelfs regardless of how long they go without an update.
Awesome chapter, well worth the wait!
Opening all the cages in Tartarus and taunting the monsters there in
Or having a dinner with Blueblood.
Not a difficult choice.
Ha! I do enjoy the shenanigans our three conspirators get up to on the side.
Also, I wonder what Twilight was thinking...
You misspelled "But this is doomed to fail in the most hilariously spectacular way possible, Princess Lunatic."
6754640 Well... I am glad that you enjoy the whole fic. I was building this piece of humor (as well as character development) up for a while, so I'm glad that it worked out.
6755162 You know what they say: Never throw a perfectly good corpse away, you never know when it might go zombie.
6756390 I agree... now off to distract Cerberus...
6756469 If only there was a chapter where we could read those thoughts... <.< Maybe in the distant past.
6756790 Always those little typos...
6757263 and what a lovely little zombie this is
6757263
Wow! I had actually forgotten what order this story was published in.
My bad. I just reread the last chapter. Heh, forgot how amusing it was.
6756390
Time to get that honeycake Herakles was so fond of bribing Kerberos with.
Jeez! Three times I had to put the phone down so u would nae drop the thing laughin so hard was I. And that last two lines is killer!
Your sense of morality is your conscience.
Fiancée is feminine; fiancé is masculine.
......
I am not entirely sure what to think of this, but I do know that I like it.
6784234 What would Bruce Lee say?
I don't know what it is but this chapter... feels different. Maybe it was the long time you spent between updates? Meh, maybe it's just me thinking weird shit. Whatever it is, it's still lovely and funny.
I was very surprised and happy when I saw this story had updated and this chapter did not disappoint in the least it was funny romantic and adorable and I'm freaking loving Diamond Shadow and Autumn they are just so cute and wonderful for each other!
I completely lost it at the part with Red in a dress absolutely hilarious!
I hope to see more updates of this amazing story soon!
Just saw the update for the next chapter and realized I had missed reading this one. I had forgotten slightly the really amusing antics and interactions between Autumn and Diamond. Certainly an interesting way to get Twilight to leave the library. Also looking forward to Autumn having to deal with Blueblood.
What did catch me off-guard was the song Diamond was singing earlier in the chapter. I've heard this song before, but that was with a not super well-known 90s TV series.