Shard, daughter of King Sombra and a mother her father told her died giving birth to her, has lived her whole life in her fathers palace, never allowed to go outside or even glance out a window, but when she finally sees the outside she begins to see her father for the tyrant he is and and learn the truth about her mothers death. She must leave and find someone that can help her and it is obviously going to be her fathers greatest enemies, The Princesses Luna and Celestia, of Equestria.
Chapters (12)
Fear - Heaven And Hell
2286677 I admit its catchy and kinda cool, but what does it have to do with my story?
Good story so far, a few errors and there. Over all an interesting read. You just need to work on your sentence structure and use the right words in the right ways.
2287706 Thank you
Well, that is something you don't see everyday, the great and powerful Dark King of The Shadows, King Sombra feeling bad about what he had become.
This is only going to get more excited.
2311300 Yes, thank you.
"LET IT RAIN SKY FIRE" ok now I want to know more then ever what will happen now.
2311344 And you shall in due time my reader
Now the shit storm has just started to get real.
2312854 Luna
Damn! Need MOAR!!Q!
2314594 Can't believe how popular this is getting
2314597 When I fav something I plan on reading it.
So it gets read.
2314620 awesome
2314635 Eeyup.
There must be more!
2336870 And there shall be Miss/Mister. Glasses, but I'm currently plagued with writers block
2340364 Miss. And trust me, I know the feeling.
2340375 Alright, wish me luck, cause i'm thinking right now, as we speak
2340383 Ok, I'll shut up now.
YES!
WHEN WILL THERE BE MORE?
2376698 When I get around to it, theres gonna be a bit of a battle soon
Sombra...is...crying?
2428805 Yes because he feels his daughter has abandoned him and she was basically, the only point of light in the dark hell that is his mind
Well thats new for King Sombra
2429224 Yes, because ever Sombra fic I read is 'Oh my gosh, he was born crazy and he needs to die' and this always angers me, I want a realistic reason why hes crazy and Shard was always my OC and her story is being told here and this is why Sombra is crazy, k?
2429303 I did not mean anything bad by that at all
All I am saying is that its a breath of fresh air too see King Sombra in a new form of light
And I know what you mean by every other Fic out their that he is in, he always is a crazy bastard that has no rime or reason for what he is doing
I am just happy seeing him actually showing/felling something that does not involve his immediate need for his own destruction
He is my personal favorite character, even though he did not get much screen time that he should of had, I still believe that their is more to him then meats the eye, and believe me when I say this but I strongly believe and think that you hit the nail right on the head with him
2429598 Well thank you
When will there be moar!?
2444275 Soon my friend, soon
2444484 I think i'm good on the proof reading thanks and thank you for reading the fic
This story justs keep getting better and better
2445177 Thank you
I could so imagine Discord saying those things.
2584704 YAY, then I have succeeded
heheh
pick one,
(ps: great story)
OMG, SO AWESOME
Oh. My. Gawd. Shard is the daughter of Sombra and Celestia!
And it is something not someting.
I can't... Nope, I'll be right back.
https://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide
Here, I recommend looking at the Dialogue, Style, and Grammar sections, in that order. Don't have to look through the entire section just the important bits. Though because Dialogue is a small section I'd look through all of it.
Dialogue is the biggest problem of them all.
Also reread the stories because I'm seeing, "sigh" instead of, "sign"
EDIT: Well god damnit. The grammar just got even worst halfway in and I realize you're never going to read this comment because the last time you were online was 2016 damnit
EDIT1: Ok, I can't stand this damn grammar mess. I'm dropping this story. The worst part is I want to know more but I just can't stand it.
Old story it may be, but a grammar mess, it is.