Escape From Rainbow Factory

A young colt, destined to be a great flyer, fails his flight test. He is then taken to the Rainbow Factory, now destined to die. But he challenges the staff and goes for his escape. But can he make it out alive...

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 12 )

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Goldy

Goldy #1 · Mar 14th, 2013 · 3 · ·

No.
Just, no.

Mr Pones

Mr Pones #2 · Mar 14th, 2013 · · ·

2263495

omg author u r my fav brony frend XDDDD (\ le 20% cooler <3 u bb 5eva

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R-Rainbow Factory...?

I should advise you as a writer on this site for fanfiction that stories concerning the "Rainbow Factory" as it is called receive much more hate than others simply for being involved with that universe. May I suggest thinking of your own unique story with colorful characters and loads of adventure in a new world? Anything besides the bland, cliche and ~~absolutely fucking terrible~~ rainbow factory would be a nice breath of fresh air for this community and something interesting for you to write.

Mr Ignorable

Mr Ignorable #3 · Mar 14th, 2013 · · ·

*before reading*

This will be awesome.

*after reading*

So super sexily awesome.

Comment posted by Private Riften Guard deleted Mar 14th, 2013

Paragon

Paragon #5 · Mar 14th, 2013 · · ·

Rainbow Factory story?

Caeruleus Equus

Caeruleus Equus #6 · Mar 14th, 2013 · · ·

Okay, who let M Night Shamalamadingdong write fiction?!
4.bp.blogspot.com/_PpNKNkdKU6g/TDKXON4PS8I/AAAAAAAABC8/hsQdX2yhMy4/s400/m-night-shyamalan.jpg

Comment posted by IAmAStegosaurus deleted Mar 14th, 2013

Flare Flicker24

Flare Flicker24 #8 · Mar 14th, 2013 · · ·

Thanks for the feedback. This is probably going to be my only Rainbow Factory fanfic, i just had this idea in my head for so long and didnt want to lose it. I understand the Rainbow Factory setting may be overused, but i tried my best. This was my very first fan fiction, so i am looking for ANY feedback, positive or negative. Thank you.

Eighth Note

Eighth Note #9 · Mar 14th, 2013 · · ·

2265512

I had lost the exit all together, which didn't make it easier to escape with my blood draining fast.

I flew as fast as I could, blood draining fast

I swerved and curved but Rainbow Dash was just too fast

you overused the word fast
you can use other words like quickly or swiftly
good story though

GoodSquidMC

GoodSquidMC #10 · Jun 13th, 2013 · · ·

It was good except that killing rainbow dash was a bit to fast I was thinking of knocking her out or something like that but the story is your handiwork so I shouldn't be insulting it

~GoodSquidMC

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