My Little Spartan: Or, a Tale of Thundering Hooves

by ChaosKnight13

Onslaught

Rainbow Dash was right: the scene was not a pretty one. Moving stealthily and close to the few trees surrounding the area's outskirts, John approached the source of destruction. Aside from Spike, he was forced to leave the rest of the group behind. In addition to being for their safety, they were left behind so as to not compromise the success of his mission. Once she had learned where they would soon be infiltrating, Applejack nearly exploded with rage. The site played host to a play of glorious despair. The once proud Sweet Apple Acres, now laid to ruin. The trees, once the source of the Apple Family's income, their livelihood, their tradition were stripped bare. The source of this devastation was in the center of the farm, where the barn used to be. John stared in shock at the abomination: an amalgam of wood and metal, the machine looked like a sort of locomotive on four legs. It was also strangely reminiscent of a Scarab. A large turret was attached to the top of the machine. The thing was taller and wider than three houses. Fascinated, he watched as several hoses extended from a collection area under the base of the turret. His observations were interrupted by a nervous tap on his thigh from Spike.

"Uh, why exactly do I have to be here?" asked Spike. "If the others are safer back there, what about me?"

"The others are safer there because Applejack's judgment is clouded. If she's not careful, she could do something that would get us all killed. Besides, who would you rather be with? Squishy ponies with squishy bodies that would probably explode when hit with a single round from a shotgun? Ooor…a heavily armored killing machine that has survived re-entry?"

"I don't have a choice either way, do I?"

"Bingo," said Cortana. Spike groaned.

"Uggghhhh…Well, at least the Apples were at market today. It would be horrible if they were still here when that…that thing attacked!" John nodded his assent. He then held up a gauntleted fist to indicate the need for silence. He returned his attention to the machine. He noticed the hoses survey the area, almost as if they were probing. He watched as one hose came to a tree full of apples. It then proceeded to suck the apples in as if some sort of vacuum were pulling them in. He then heard whirrings coming from within the machine, and watched as the apples were processed in the collection tank. As the gun prepared to fire, John noticed one of the apples get sucked up.

"So that's where they've been getting their ammo…from the apples…" Immediately, John began looking for weaknesses. He tried looking at the legs, figuring if he hit them hard enough with his hammer he could topple the ugly bastard. Nevertheless, he was still at a loss as to how anyone in Equestria could have gotten their hoov-hands on something this advanced.

"Hey, this thing looks kinda familiar," said Spike. "It kinda reminds me of…uh-oh…"

"What is it?" asked John. However, before Spike could answer, John clamped a hand over his mouth. The dragon didn't need to ask why. Instead, his eyes widened as a they heard the stomping of the mammoth legs of the machine. As if this wasn't bad enough, a mechanical tendril came to peek around their tree. For a few nerve-racking moments, the hose searched for apples. Sensing none, it returned to the machine, slithering like a snake. Checking to make sure the hose had indeed fully retracted, John released his hold over Spike's mouth. He then motioned for him to speak once more. Spike took a deep breath, relieved that the moment had passed.

"Anyways, back in the day, these conponies tried to take over Sweet Apple Acres. They had this big machine that could suck up all the apples. What were their names again? Flotsam and Jetsam? No. Uh, let's see…"

"HOW ABOUT FLIM AND FLAM YOU MANGY MUTT?" came a voice over a speaker. The turret swiveled, bringing its sights to bear upon them John and Spike just stared at each other.

"Fuck." John picked up Spike and ran, seconds before an apple missile obliterated the ground they were standing on. As he ran, John looked up at the front of the machine. There seemed to be a cockpit, with a deranged looking unicorn at the controls.

"I am an agent of Chaos! A destroyer of life and happiness! Now, die! Die DIE! This-hic-is for Flim!" Time after time, he fired apples. Unfortunately for Flam, the main cannon was too slow. John noticed this, and observed that each shot had a pause of three seconds while it reloaded. By taking advantage of this, and by being mindful of the turret's rotation, he was able to engage his foe's predictable patterns.

This is too easy, he thought. Almost as if I were some character in a video game. Uhhh…. He then hefted up Spike, and began burning at one of the legs.

"NOOOO! Do you know-hic-how hard it is to paint something like this without hands? Not really, 'cause I have magic. Nevertheless, buck you, you ugly whatever you are. John took time to reply with a swift hand motion. Even though Flam didn't understand the finer workings of advanced sign language, he could sense the intent. Roaring, his machine began to stomp. The sudden tremors caught John off balance, causing him to lurch forward and almost lose his footing. However, he used his forward momentum to change his fall into a somersault, and roll with it (Yeeeeeeeaaaah!).

Although shaken by this sudden turn of events, Cortana still found time to hijack John's speakers and taunt the brute. "Huh…Stomping legs and a predictable turret…You really are a lame video game character. Probably the first boss in the game, meant to shake up the n00bs, or advance the plot." Flam drunk-roared, belched, then began rushing John. However, as always, it's pretty damn easy to avoid a big-ass, slow moving walker. John merely dashed to the another leg, and began burning it. Cortana wasn't done yet, however.

"Awww, look at the big fatty. I'm surprised you were able to get this thing operational, so much as moving. Your long range might work…from a long range. Here however, you're essentially shooting yourself in the foot." As if to prove her point, John finished burning the last leg. The knees buckled, and shook, but overall the legs held. Taking advantage of the machine's confusion, John set down Spike and pulled out his hammer. He then knelt, so as to allow Spike to clamber onto his back.

"You might want to hold on," he cautioned him.

"Why? What are you going to do with that sledgehammer?"

"Thought I'd try smashing my way through. Mix things up a little."

"Ulp." And then, he was off. John made his way to the right foreleg, shattering it with his hammer. Crippled but not yet downed, Flam yelled out in rage. Suddenly, hatches opened up along the beast. What appeared to be machine guns appeared, and began firing. Mindful of Spike, John did his best to avoid the deadly stream of bullets. As the machine guns unleashed their dakka, John ran.

Dakka-dakka-dakka-dakka went the guns. Suddenly, Spike cried out in pain.

"Agh! I'm…I'm hit! Something bit me in the buttocks! It hurts! It's...it's an appleseed?" In spite of himself, John just stopped.

"What? An appleseed? Really?" Spike shrugged, just as confused as him. The rage in John's voice was suddenly replaced with a disturbingly euphoric tone. "Appleseeds. Heh heh. Heh he ha. Hahahahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!" This sudden outburst of laughter served to unnerve Spike, Cortana, and Flam alike.

"Wh-what's so funny," stammered Flam. This time, his tics were not the slur of a drunkard. Instead, they were of the pants-shitting seizures of fear.

"You, glue bag. If you wanted to try and kill me, you would've had to do much better than that. MUCH better." He reached behind, and grabbed Spike by the nape of his neck. Setting him down, he turned his attention from Flam to Spike, he spoke to the dragon. "You can get off now, I think I've got it from here. Run back to Applejack and the others. Tell them everything's going to be okay." Spike nodded and ran off. Chief then walked up so he was staring straight into the crippled gun-walker's cockpit. "Ready when you are, chief. Heh." He then held up three fingers. "Three. Two. One." This last one was, once again, advanced sign language. "Go."

And then he was off. The seeds tore up the earth around him, but John was too fast. Those seeds that did manage to hit him merely bounced off of his shields. Roaring, he sprinted under the machine and made his way towards the right rear leg. Calmly, precisely, he swung into it with his hammer. Whereas the first leg had splintered, the force of the blow sent this leg flying thirty feet to the left. Unbalanced, the behemoth finally came tumbling down. Making sure not to get caught underneath, John rolled forward. Then, he turned and hoisted himself up onto the dead machine. Taking care to smash the collection tank, he calmly walked up to the cabin. There, he found Flam struggling to free himself. As he saw John approach, Flam began to thrash wildly. Unfortunately, he could not free himself in time. John merely stared at him. Flam stared back in abject horror.

"I was never told about this…I thought I could…could destroy this farm with two hooves tied behind my back. But you…" He swallowed. "You! What are you?" John merely hefted his hammer.

"I'm Equestria's reckoning." WHAM! SPLAT! The deed done, John hopped down and admired his work.

"You certainly haven't lost your touch," purred Cortana. John was unnerved. Whereas recently Cortana been sounding neurotic, almost insane, here she sounded different. She sounded calm, playful. Even seductive.

"Cortana? Are you alright?"

"O-o-o-o-h ye. Much better than I've felt in a long time. I knew I chose wisely. Yes, everything will work out just fine."

"What are you talking about?" before she could reply, John suddenly became aware of multiple presences. Somehow, five beings had somehow managed to sneak up on him It was almost as if they had…teleported… They arranged themselves in a circle, surrounding him. He noticed what appeared to be a unicorn wearing a cloak step forward.

"Well well," it began in a cold, high voice. "It seems as if you have defeated Flam. Hmm. A pathetic weakling if he could not take the likes of you, muggle vermin."

"What? Who are you?" Suddenly, John felt them draw closer still.

"We are change," continued the unicorn. "We are the future of this pitiful realm. We are everything, you are nothing. We are the Mane Six Exterminators! Though, I will admit that we have taken to calling ourselves the Mane-EX."

"What are you doing here?" The circle tightened further.

"Why, bringing about Chaos. Yet, is Chaos not change? My point is, we are here to revitalize this land. Revolutionize it." John growled, nervous, several of the members took a step back.

"I'll never allow this to happen. You will never harm these ponies."

"Ha! You muggles really are pathetic! Throwing away your lives, even as those close and dear to you plan your very downfall?" At this, John felt a pain in his side. He looked down to see Pinkie, a feral smile plastered over her sadistic face. He sank to his knees, shocked that Pinkie had just stabbed him. Horrified, he looked at her.

"Why? Perhaps more importantly, how did a simple knife penetrate my shields?"

"Why, isn't it obvious? Pain is sweeter than any syrup. You know this taste all too well, Johnny. As for how I stabbed you? It works in Reach, doesn't it? Besides, Ol' Pinkamena always knew her way around a blade." Attempting to rise, John shakily stood up. He noticed the cloaked unicorn draw nearer.

"Ah, but we are taking too long. Avada Kedavra!" There was a flash of green light, and blackness sank in.

John woke up, gasping for breath. He was on lying on his back, covered in a blanket. He was in what appeared to be a hospital, and lying down on the floor becuase his weight would surely have destroyed any one of the beds. Grimly, he stared at the unfamiliar celing, white as nothing. All of a sudden, it all came rushing back to him. The fight, the trap, the betrayal. Everything. He groaned and stood up, shaking off the blanket.

"Cortana, what the hell just happened? Everything fells all…wrong" No reply. "Cortana?" Cortana was Rampant, of that he was sure. However, Rampancy or not, she had never failed to answer. Suddenly, his stomach began to knot up and fill with dread. A dread he hadn't felt since the last time Cortana made no reply. Reaching up to the back of his helmet, he steadied himself. He tried to extract her chip, only to find there was none.

"Cortanaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Half a world away, Cortana shuddered. She felt her consciousness whisper out one word, the only word that mattered to her anymore.

"John."

Comments

[GjallarFox]

I keep laughing my ass off. Moar plawks.

<3 DarqFox

[The Traveler12]

Argh! y u no make more? I REALLY hope this isn't dead.