My Little Spartan: Or, a Tale of Thundering Hooves

by ChaosKnight13

Dark Awakening

Somewhere in outer space, near some damn wormhole

Space. The final frontier. Also, the final resting place for many a brave soul. But not the hero of this tale. The UNSC Forward Unto Dawn had been sluggishly drifting through space for four years, when disaster struck. And not just the disaster of the world's most advanced Artificial Intelligence going loopier than a roller coaster. No, it was problems of the trans-dimensional/space bridge/ whatever macguffin sort. Immediately the ship's AI, Cortana, sprang into action. Taking over control of the cryo pods, she began to quick-thaw her hero: The Master Chief. John-117. Unfortunately, like a microwave burrito, one does not simply un-thaw something and expect it to be okay.

"Cortana? What? What's going on?" The Chief was still a little loopy from being frozen like the big hunk of meat he was.

"Like, okay, we saw a Star Destroyer, blew up a Death Star, had a Xenomorph invasion, and set someone up the bomb," came Cortana's bubbly reply. When an AI goes crazy, it goes really crazy. "Also, the only records I could find were old reruns of Invader Zim and various Nobody Dies fanfics! Isn't that fuuuuun? Brace yourself, Chief!" This sudden return to normalcy snapped John back to attention. The ship began to rumble. Rushing out of the pod, John ran to the AI post to secure Cortana. Once he plugged the chip into his head, he felt a cool sense of relief as Cortana's consciousness met his own.

"Cortana, what's happening" He began running through the crumbling frigate, towards the secondary bridge. Along the way, he kept his eyes peeled for any weapons that he could use. All the while, Cortana explained the situation to him.

"Well, it appears we're going through a black hole, my dear Johnny. Now, I have 340,000,000 different outcomes, of which I can only explain two to you before we get sucked in. We either A. die horribly or 93. are sucked into some horrible alternate dimension. Where we die horribly. WHEEEEEEE!"

"What? What do you mean by that? Before Cortana could reply, John was hit from behind by something heavy enough to bring him to his knees. To his utter dismay, he saw that it was a weapons cache. And with that, John blacked out as they were sucked into oblivion.

/

"Chief! Hey, Chief! Heeeeeeey! Chief! Hey, listen! Hey, listen!" John groaned. Luckily, his back wasn't broken, otherwise he wouldn't be able to feel the ground beneath him. Eyes still closed, he answered her.

"What."

"You blacked out. Hard."

"I know."

"Chief…"

"What."

"What if I told you we were in the first ever Dr. Abraxas/ComicsNix crossover fic?"

"What?"

"Nothing. Hey, Chief?"

"What."

"How would you respond if I said you were being watched by sentient, semi-anthropomorphized horses?"

"What."

"Well its true," Cortana pouted. "Open your eyes, you meanie." Chief obliged her. What he saw nearly made him poop himself in sheer dumbstruck wonder. Not three feet away was a pink horse.

"I'm guessing now isn't the best time to ask if you like parties," Pinkie Pie said sheepishly.

Author's Note:

Hello! Welcome to an exciting adventure! Says who? Shut up, Joe! Anyways, it should be obvious I don't own Halo. There is some language, but not too much. Uh, this is also on my FanFiction profile, so yeah, it's a copy/paste job. Please don't ban me, Admins! You let me link accounts! Later.

Comments

[GjallarFox]

Ah... Just as funny as I remember... That just made my day. :3

<3 DarqFox