Page generated in 0.064 seconds
Total duration
869 users online
620,202 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Why the rut is EVERY-ONE shipping Flutterdash!? Why? Rarijack have a lot in common beneath the skin but I see none of that beneath Rainbow and Fluttershy. Please some-one explain to me, legit reasons why this is a ship I shouldn't roll my eyes at. It's cliche and unsupported, but I will listen to a good argument.
Back to the story: you had me smiling like I have not smiled in months, no joke. This is my favorite Rarijack story to date, I love the roller coaster Rarity puts herself on. Might I say I hated how she and Shining Armored betrayed the ones they loved, but you did it right. Oh, and them rolling down the hill side, words can't describe that beauty. Applejack's speech was more heartfelt that anything I've heard at a wedding. Is any of this from experience? True brilliance right here.
Many bravos.
A wonderful, almost perfect chapter (sans a few typos). One of the best fics on the site right now. Nothing more to add
Man, it's like watching an oncoming car wreck. You can't look away.
Only flaws I see are Shining coming kinda out of left field, but I am guessing Cadence's foreshadowed alcoholism may do it. Probably a sham marriage at this point.
Applejack's monologue would be better broken into smaller paragraphs. Right now, it's a giant wall of text which is hard on the eyes.
Other than that, can't wait to see how you connect the prologue to where things are now.
This is at the same time my most looked forward to and most dreaded story to follow. Your writing is both brilliant and devastating. I'm holding out for rarijack to make it in the end, but you have me completely and I will offer no scream and the most token of resistance~
- all my favs
God. Damn.
Ok, so, I love this an all, particularly the way Applejack does things, and I really, REALLY hoped that the scene with Shining was just a daydream. I was reading so damn fast to get past it just to see a line about Rarity pinching her hoof again with a needle, but no.
No problem, it can still work... And then you drop that bomb. That's gonna get intense. Very intense.
[Edit] This thing needs more exposure. I wonder how many people got instantly put off from just the preface? Silly people. There's literary gold past that!
Just read all the chapters and I must say this is quite good.
It's been a while since a fic managed to make me feel for the characters. I'm glad I decided to give this story a shot.
Looking forward to more.
This has a tragedy tag, so it means it's going to have to end badly, right? Well in that case I'm going to stop reading it now, because I can't bear to get any more emotionally invested just to have my heart stomped on later. By no means is this terrible or whatever because of that though, sad fics (or at least sad fics that end badly) just are not my cup of tea and especially in a story like this when Rarity and Applejack are so flawless together and it has the potential to be so sweet and perfect and uplifting. That Rarity herself knows it perfectly well is the very worst part I think.
My biggest complaints about this, other than me wishing you could give it a happy ending are that Shining totally came out of left field like some others mentioned, plus I can't ever see Rarity doing what she did to get him in the first place, because that whole attraction kind of came out of nowhere, and she seemed completely OOC to me when she was throwing herself at him and doing everything she can to undermine Cadance etc (I know she can have a slight selfish streak on occasion, but she's the element of generosity for a reason and it bugs me when people forget that and just make her bitchy, petty, or slutty for no reason). Even if not for character bias though, I think you could have built up more reasons why she fell so hard for Shining and how she got to point of being so desperate she was willing to do anything to get him, because as it is it kind of comes out of nowhere and feels rushed and again, very OOC.
Again though, by no means take this critique to mean that I don't like the story, because even despite those flaws with some lack of development there's no doubt you're a brilliant writer (and since you asked I thought the sex scene between Rarity and Applejack was amazingly written and it provided the feels and emotional punch that most stories with clop lack). I actually really love what you've done so far, which is why I have to stop reading since I can't stand to see it fall apart after you've built such a beautiful relationship. Sorry for that, but cheers, and please let me know if you decide to go for a happier ending after all! I'll be the first to upvote, fave, and recommend it to everyone I know.
2409571
Hi Barbed Pegasus, Wellspring here.
First of all, thank you very much for the time reading the fic and for the time and attention you gave to write a comment. I'd like to take this moment right now to respond to some of them:
[SPOILER ]
First of all, yes. I guarantee that All About Rarity will have a happy ending. AAR is the second in my tragic villain collection in which the main theme is the fall and failure of a villain (hence the tragedy tag). But this isn't one of those vanilla-stories; before arriving at the happy ending, everypony–from Rarity down to Pinkie Pie–will plow through emotional and psychological hell. Basically, it's gonna hurt. If you can bear that much for the happy ending then please bear with me; since, if it pains to read, it pains me much more to write.
As for the aforementioned issue with Shining Armor and Rarity, both regarding their sudden and rushed, almost bipolar, characters, please keep in mind that we are still only in Chapter 3 (out of 10). Shining Armor's psychological motivation is the missing piece in the puzzle to be answered in the upcoming chapters, Rarity's desperation for him, which is the main theme, slowly reveals itself as the chapters goes by. I don't plan to leave anything out from the reader; I plan to explore and expose these characters down to their psychological roots. I just hope I will be able to pull it off in the most dramatized and literary way possible.
[/SPOILER ]
Again, thank you very much for the comment. I'll surely be taking this in consideration for tweaking my later chapters.
2409833
Wow, thank you for taking the time to answer me! And for addressing all of the points I brought up, I really appreciate it. I'm glad you didn't take my comments harshly, because agan I think you're a pretty amazing writer, and this story sucked me in and made me care so much about all of the characters, that I planned to stop reading only because I couldn't take the emotional pain if it had to all end tragically. It's not easy to do that, to make people care so much about fictional characters that it really hurts to read about their suffering, and just goes to show how much skill you have. The fact that you tell me there is still hope for this to not end horribly, and also that whatever I felt were flaws will be addressed and cleared up later, really gives me hope and means I will definitely not abandon this story, but I might wait until the chapters are a little further along so I don't have to suffer too much along with the ponies!
Is your other tragic villain story in the same continuity as this story? I haven't read it yet but will definitely have to check it out. Again, thank you very much for your response and no matter what please keep writing... you have talent.
2414421
No, no. Thank you for commenting. You, as well as the others, are the fuel that encourages me to write further and better.
Also, as for my tragic villain collection, all my stories are independent from one another and in no way related. I plan to make a tragic villain out of each of the main6. I've only finished Twilight in Ptolemy so far. But a warning on Ptolemy, I wrote it half a year ago when I was, and am still, struggling to learn the English language so there's a lot of grammatical errors. It's also crammed to one chapter, all 60k words of it.
welp, you have my utmost interest you have me amazed, anxious, blown out, curious, intrigued, morbidly awaiting for more, i hope you are happy
great story, the foreboding from the preface, you know it will end "bad" and all hell will break lose in the story, but you clever little "" the words Rarity was about to say at the end of the preface could be a huge mind blowing thing you have planned
i´m here for the ride i know its gonna be good
OH SHIT. Rarity, what the hell? Shining Armor, how dare you? I JUST. I CAN'T. TOO MUCH DRAMA. TOO MUCH PASSION. TOO MANY FEELZ. *runs into wall*
And then everyone died the end.
But there's still-
I SAID THE END.
You haven't even fini-
THE END MOTHERBUCKER.
This is only chapt-
THIS IS THE END. ROCKS FELL FROM THE SKY EVERYONE DIED. THERE WILL BE NO MORE SHIPPING AND NO MORE NETORARE AND NO MORE DISGUSTINGLY WELL WRITTEN HORRIBLENESS. THIS IS A LITTLE GIRLS SHOW OF SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS WHERE EVERYTHING IS HAPPY AND OPTIMISTIC AND ALL THE FUCKED UP PROBLEMS OF REALITY DON'T EXIST BECAUSE CELESTIA IS THE ALL POWERFUL GODDESS ENSURING ANYONE WHO DARES THREATEN THEIR IDYLLIC LIFESTYLE IS SWIFTLY REMOVED FROM THE EQUATION. IT'S MAGIC.
word will get out of Shining and Rarity, and i have this bad feeling it won't end well for anypony
derpicdn.net/img/2013/2/4/233468/full.gif
>6:30am
Aww.... time to go to sleep already?
Dammit
3108122
YOU HAVE ECHOED MY EXACT THOUGHTS, FRIEND.
Enjoying the story so far! Can't wait to read the rest. Just had to write down some incoherent thoughts beforehand.
'Aye, all the ponies in the town are crazy.' Was one thought I was having through reading this chapter, especially after AJ's honest, heart spill to Rarity. I really like what you've managed to do with all the characters this far - so darn likable, even in conflict, and full of...characters! Ya know. RD not apologizing to Pinkie at the party...Oh! Poignant. It went so against her label of loyalty you can't help but make a massive scrawling mental note about it.
Also enjoyed the foreshadowing towards RD and Fluttershy during the RariJack party. Was so...cute, no, endearing. I wasn't expecting the story to go there at all and enjoyed what felt like a bonus side story happening along the main story thread. Hahah, and then there's Spike, I totally forgot about him. Wonder if he'll have much more in future chapters.
The biggest mental fight I was having with myself was the waiting. Waiting for the apparent dream between Shining Armour and Rarity to end. Waiting and hoping; there will be a line somewhere along 'a ethereal dream' or something! I am still holding out towards hope that the 'apparent' event with Shining Armour and Rarity didn't literally happen. But I think I'll have to succumb to maybe it did happen. Maybe, perhaps.
And now, Cadance and Shining Armour in Ponyville! lets see what happens next :D
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!!!!