• Member Since 20th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 18th, 2021

redmon77


E

Ditzy Doo, loved by many and hated by few. she's been lost for so long, only dwelling on the past in hopes of finding comfort. perhaps she just needs a little help getting back up...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 4 )

Plot twist - The Administrator was actually Connor Davenport! :pinkiegasp:

Not bad by any means. It's obvious that this is a "rough draft" of sorts, I can tell it wasn't revised. Please don't take this negatively, but it needs quite a bit of work in the grammar and syntax department. :applejackunsure:

But judging it solely by the idea behind the words, it's pretty good. The concept of The Administrator was interesting, I'm eager to read more about this mysterious being. But why, if I may ask, is he (or she) a human? If The Administrator is some kind of demi-god, why isn't it a pony? Perhaps I'm over-analyzing this, and I am intentionally overlooking the meta (Fourth Wall) references the character made.

In all, I'd strongly suggest reviewing and revising (run them through a spell-checker as well) your stories before putting them up here on FiMFiction. Again, I mean no offense by that to you personally; I'm just trying to help. And indent your paragraphs. :twilightsmile:

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