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Authors Helping Authors8,593 stories ·2,462 members

Never Alone

Ditzy Doo, loved by many and hated by few. she's been lost for so long, only dwelling on the past in hopes of finding comfort. perhaps she just needs a little help getting back up...

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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Shadow_Wolf

Shadow_Wolf #1 · Feb 25th, 2013 · · ·

Very cute

Vetnern

Vetnern #2 · Feb 25th, 2013 · · ·

Plot twist - The Administrator was actually Connor Davenport!

LonelyBrony42

LonelyBrony42 #3 · Feb 26th, 2013 · · ·

Not bad by any means. It's obvious that this is a "rough draft" of sorts, I can tell it wasn't revised. Please don't take this negatively, but it needs quite a bit of work in the grammar and syntax department.

But judging it solely by the idea behind the words, it's pretty good. The concept of The Administrator was interesting, I'm eager to read more about this mysterious being. But why, if I may ask, is he (or she) a human? If The Administrator is some kind of demi-god, why isn't it a pony? Perhaps I'm over-analyzing this, and I am intentionally overlooking the meta (Fourth Wall) references the character made.

In all, I'd strongly suggest reviewing and revising (run them through a spell-checker as well) your stories before putting them up here on FiMFiction. Again, I mean no offense by that to you personally; I'm just trying to help. And indent your paragraphs.