Huh, wasn't expecting to ever see more than one of these. Well, I'd expected to see a couple more fics with Milky Way in them over time, but I hadn't expected to see another HiE about her.
2171427 yeah, well originally I was going to do a street racing story but it failed moderation, then when I was milking a dairy cow I got booted in the head and "Oh snap... I have an idea"
Remember: new speaker, new paragraph. That includes his conscience (which is what I assume you mean - "my conscious" doesn't make much sense). Italics might be good for that, to make it clear that its not someone else, but his inner thoughts. Also udders, but I think someone else also mentioned that. Otherwise not bad.
3454562 It's a difference if he touches her breasts in a professional way, for example milking. She doesn't want anyone touching her just because she has a big asset.
oh, another on of these.
Joy Stick's joystick is pleased.
And I'm not talking about the videogame controller.
Huh, wasn't expecting to ever see more than one of these. Well, I'd expected to see a couple more fics with Milky Way in them over time, but I hadn't expected to see another HiE about her.
2171427 yeah, well originally I was going to do a street racing story but it failed moderation, then when I was milking a dairy cow I got booted in the head and "Oh snap... I have an idea"
2171721
Well that's one way to get insperation! XD
you’re utters are full
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/355/f/7/pinkie_pie_double_facehoof_by_zachgamer77-d4f5uol.png
"Your udders"
Remember: new speaker, new paragraph. That includes his conscience (which is what I assume you mean - "my conscious" doesn't make much sense). Italics might be good for that, to make it clear that its not someone else, but his inner thoughts. Also udders, but I think someone else also mentioned that. Otherwise not bad.
Well this is different
Going good so far.
A few spelling errors here and there, confused words, and line spacing/breaking needs work.
What? I'm being honest.
Yes I know that I make mistakes too. But I'm not condeming the writer for them; just mentioning them.
At least you begin' nice, SugaCube.
I try...
???? um I thought she just said not for touching
3454562 It's a difference if he touches her breasts in a professional way, for example milking. She doesn't want anyone touching her just because she has a big asset.
2215614
Not really. Pretty much every fanfic that involves Milky Way involves her getting milked at some point.