iamli3
Joined 3rd Oct, 2011 ·
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- Dear_Celestia · 5.6k words · 55 16 · 1.8k views
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What. The. Actual. FUCK,?!
2164125 !?,KCUF .lautcA . ehT .tahw?.....
2164163 kfixed
what about raindow dash's name then? and the rest?.....
Poor Rarity
. AGH GAK IS BACK RUN!!!!
P.S. Maybe you can read my story, "My Day In Ponyville"
2164695 uh k , consistency much hasbro?....
"dry"?....
that took half the day to write , and i already had half of the scenarios planned out before hand....
"~ Dan (jkjk)" your name is a joke -.o?.....
2164486 honestly i wasn't sure what i was going to go with at first , then i thought of a bucket of slime since that's extra messy , and upon thinking about that i recalled this gak thing that became a meme cause a commercial of it was shown or something so i decided to give the slime a name , i have no knowledge of the substance of it's significance aside from the commercial......
i recall seeing you leave comments adving that around other places as well , perhaps i will sometime , but i only cared about fanficiton for some specific purposes , not just as a general read.......
2165046
Congratulations, you know nothing about fiction. Canon or no canon, a character can be pushed to a wide variety of things depending on their personality and the circumstances. Saying character X will never do Y means you are not being creative enough. Either that or it's your personal idea that Dash would never do that, which is something that has no place in another's story. That said, Dash was OOC in this and there was no reason given for it. If you're going to have a character do something far outside what they normally would, they need a reason. You have to have build-up.
2165046 >apologizing for being honest
how bout you don't do that?....
again you say "Well, it was dry."
to which is say
"dry"?....
"Dash wouldn't get all shy"
uh why? wouldn't you get discomforted from talking about sexual matters in a public setting? (3 other ponies in the room that could hear her at the time)
"clop annoys me"
then why bother reading -.o?.....
"the grammar is vomitably bad."
what can be done to make it better?....
"With the propulsion given,"
nothing is some kind of sacred ritual to me which includes sex , so it was probably going to be a rather large misconception for about where the characters stance on it in the story are
this wasn't meant to be how the rest of the fanfiction universe goes that 'let's take cute and cuddly things that are supposed to not know about their own body functions for some reason and put them in a scenario where they have to use it and make them all embarrassed about it" , however since that's usually seen as the most interesting part of said stories i tried to make a way to work it in there with dash feeling nerves about it....
the point being sexual activities are not a sacred ritual to the characters in anything i would make so they don't need the "torture" or "love spell" to compel them to have some fun , idk maybe that's something i should add to the story description.....
and as for the actual "With the propulsion given," , i thought i gave more than a sufficient explanation before during and after the fact of why that could occur , the build up of " All they had to do was play cool and hold out till dusk for the dual to take place" , "Rainbow figured it was their best shot at making sure all of them stay intact after what Trixie was doing to them for Twilight's plan to be a success" , "Rainbow really enjoyed the feeling in her mouth as well, there was something that drover her crazy about making Unicorns feel this way," , "satisfied of a (horn) job well done and that Trixie wouldn't bother her or her friends anymore so they would be safe to carry out Twilight's plan" , "Rainbow shrugged to herself knowing that she had succeeded in her own plan of calming Trixie down but had failed to change the stubborn Unicorn's mind about dueling her friend. "Oh well what can you do? Twilight's plan would work itself out soon anyways...""
uuh like really , how much more 'propulsion' could i have given?.....
2165364 "ash was OOC"?.....
"f you're going to have a character do something far outside what they normally would, they need a reason. You have to have build-up."
check my reply to the other guy for that....
2166886 ?....
2166962 ?....
2167059 ah k....
It's a lulzy one-shot, but you are in DIRE need of an editor
2171268 "if you wanna make any such adjustments to the story however be my guest".....
2165375 .....soooo do you not have anything to say about my reply then?.....
Heh wow. Interesting story. Hot stuff here.
I love trixdash story yours was awesome
2187415 glad you like it....
2166745 Try pressing enter before you switch character dialogue, it's a start.
2992469 something i later did come to realize was a pretty good and significant thing for making the format appealing , shall i go edit that up a bit now then?....
2993125 Go right ahead.
3261517
no, i legit like your story
3263956 wow , and i didn't even bother to make it look nice yet.....
AWESOME!!!
4761588 lol thanks....
DAMN. AWESOME. FAVROITED
5285669 surely you jest....
5286546 I never jest when I add stories to that list of epic stuff I have read. your story was awesome. and it deserved a fave from me. it is in a list of legendary stories. (in my mind). be proud
5293495 well god dicking danm....