You seem to have javascript disabled, or your browser is failing to execute it properly. Much of Fimfiction's functionality requires javascript so we suggest you turn it on!

The Town Pony and the Country Pony

Once again, Applejack finds herself in Manehatten with Rarity along for the ride. But this time, instead of spending time with her Aunt and Uncle Orange, she's headed there in search of a stallion she once knew as a filly. Will he be the same charming comedian as in AJ's old photos, or will he have changed? And what about Rarity?

(Tagged "sex" for some suggestive themes)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 3 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 3
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Prince Solstice

Prince Solstice #1 · Feb 23rd, 2013 · · · You Can't Possibly Go Without Me! ·

Tehe, that creator gets abused pretty often around here, even I'm guilty of that. Anyways, I guess the dwonvotes are for pretty much one thing. It's kind of a boring love story. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot you could do with this story, just it wasn't that exciting. You needed to provide a teeny bit more detail, and maybe define the stallion a little better. Maybe some childhood memories of shenanigans they would get into. Also, you have to separate dialogue with a line if another person speaks. Now go add a second chapter, and spice it up. Add something that is going to cause real conflict (like having Rarity actually compete for the Stallion or something like that). If you want some help, just send me a message. I can proofread, answer questions, and ~~relieve sexual tension~~ help with ideas. -Clears throat- now for the mean part.

Final Verdict: Awe what a cute fucking love story... zzzz...

jacklelantern

jacklelantern #2 · Feb 23rd, 2013 · · · You Can't Possibly Go Without Me! ·

2166961 Yeah, I'm planning on having Rarity go after Mr. No-name, and maybe throw in one other plot twist (but I'm not sure). Anyways, thanks, I like it when people actually EXPLAIN why they don't like it instead of downvoting it and running off.

Prince Solstice