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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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If some one really wants me to continue this, give a full detailed reason why.
I do :3 this story was good
Thanks XD I'll think about finishing it XD After my other one is done.
I do it was interesting and I would love to see more
25544
i like it. i think it would be interesting. finish your other story first, but i am interested on how people would react to being put into equestria.
nice opening. i like the rapture play.
Thanks, I like the idea of the rapture also. Its a new way to start a story of this kind.
I am going to continue this story soon, check it in a few days
So far this story is pretty interesting. On to the next chapter!
OH MY GOSH!!! I LOVE THIS!!!!!! ( Sorry i Know I Sound Hyper) Please Countinue! I'd Flip If you Did!!!! Your Extra Extra Extra Extra Extra Awesome If You Finish This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
25544 hey, do you believe that, if you do die then do you go to limbo, where you can choose the haven of the clouds, the rapture underneath or any other world? I hope that is how life works!!! If it is, I think i will become a pegasus or an earth pony and see if I can marry fluttershy!!! (if you haven't noticed, I'm a big fan of fluttershy...) when I'm there, wish me luck with her!
Ah, finally got to start reading this.
The idea of rapture is a pretty interesting way to start off a fanfic. :p
Kewl start bro, gonna read the rest and the ones to come,
I like the other chapters. But you can always come back and revise this one
Nice story... Guess he took an arrow to the knee...
One thing though, why did he abandon his friends?
68358 the rest of his friends died
I want that to happen to Me I wanna go to to equstria! HURRY UP 2012 I CAN'T WAIT TO DIE! Is it just me or what I said sounded stupid?
i hate to say this but... i had no idea i was in this story i feel so honored (my name's lance).
12-20-12?!!! HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN READING!!!
Its...an interesting idea, choosing where you can go when you die. Though the bad grammar/spelling is a real turn-off in the later chapters. I'll definitely keep reading the story.
And God said as his voice shook the earth below, "Brohoof!" And it was good...
Woah! What is this!? This looks freaking interesting!
2012?
Heaven and Hell?
My Little Pony Friendship is Magic?
and I bet theres more, is there?
MUST...READ...
RE reading its so epic
e.deviantart.com/emoticons/moods/surprise.gif
Kind of late, but it does feel rushed. I know you're just trying to get to Equestria and all, but it feels like it's all happening way too fast.
But then again, maybe that's how you want it to feel? Let's read on and find out, shall we?
:D that trailer was awesome
Sweet, but one thing
"Yes I am, you are looking at the fastest and braves pony in Equestria."
Sorry for pointing it out. But shouldnt it be bravest pony? Yea, i know you edited it and all
But anyway I like the trailer and just wanted to point out SECOND for the new edited chapter
787666
Oops, that slipped past me. Thanks for pointing it out.
I'm just wondering how he could tell how he looked without seeing a reflection or anything.
Amazing story bro, I've been following this for a while and and i enjoyed every chapter of it.
787833
He turned his head
Also, I'm glade you've enjoyed it
Should I be confused
787878
Probably. Check my blog if you haven't
787914 k
AWESOMESAUSE!!!!!!
Your rewriting everything?
May God have mercy on your soul.
Hm... alright, no typos so far, though thats to be given since you ARE doing a rewrite. Good job so far.
789378
Amen brother. We must keep him in our prayers.
this feels very surreal. im getting flashbacks to when i first started reading 6 months ago
Memories much.
Ok, What the cripes just happened?
i would have preferred updates to edits.
799949 i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/359/Capture3.GIF
Ha! Look at the old comments. Ah... Good times, good times.
WHY ARE YOU EDITING? GRAMMAR IS UNIMPORTANT TO ME! I WILL TAKE VINETION'S LITTLE GREEN ASS AND SLAP IT UNTIL YOU AAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH nevermind..... NO WAIT I WANT THE 100+ CHAPTERS BACK NAO
Hey, is your profile pic an OC? I've been wondering that
Katum, its Brony here.
I'm really glad you decided to rewrite this, honestly the story died and I'm glad you are doing so.
Also, please remove D from the story, thank you.
Still epic no matter the spelling
I'm going to downvote this story, and here's why.
First, the pacing. Just what the fuck were you thinking on this one, exactly? Introduction, death, rebirth, foisted into Equestria, and a meet-up with Rainbow Dash in only 1,500 words? I mean, I know that this is one of those never-ending stories with situation-lead plot devises, but come on! You could at least try to set up why the protagonist is there, how he got there, Et cetera, Et cetera without being so concise that you leave out key details in the story's progression. That alone made me want to quit reading this story halfway through this chapter.
Next, the description (or lack thereof). I can find exactly one example in this whole chapter where you actually bother to use descriptive adjectives. That's not good. I get that this story is very dialogue driven, and that's fine. What's not fine is that you don't back up the dialogue with description and explanation. The protagonist just got thrown into Equestria, for Celestia's sake! You could at the very least bother to tell us what it looked like.
Also, the realism of it all is completely nonexistant. The protagonist, who literally just got turned into a pegasus, already he knows how to fly, let alone walk? This is what bothers me with this type of story - humans don't know how to fly! Humans don't walk well on four legs! So how in the world could he do something like, and I quote, "...jump off the cloud backwards and twist in mid-air and fly towards the small town" without some sort of knowledge in basic flight?
Lastly, and possibly most importantly, there are still grammatical errors! Very large, glaring grammatical errors! Do you have a competent proofreader? If not, get one! A proofreader will spot all the mistakes that you yourself miss. For this reason they are an invaluable tool to your literary arsenal (poor analogy, but you get my point).
Hopefully that shed some light on all those downvotes. Have a great day.
25544Because if you don't, I will kidnap you and your brother, torture both of you, make you both do terrible things, then lock you in my room and make you do the entire thing. bitchdontmakeme.jpeg
68358Because he is dreaming. SPOILERS!!! Also Lance kills himself!!! SPOILERS!!!!! ALSO... UM... WELL IN MY STORY I GET CELESTIA SHOT IN THE FACE!!!!!!!! it was preety fucking funny
26917 finish?
Dude, didn't you like fundamentally re-write the whole story from the beginning onwards?
I'm looking at it now, and it looks the same. I'm confused.