Finally, finally off that death trap. At least now things can go back to being at least somewhat close to norm-
“... Well, he’s a new one. Certainly very...”
I mean, I don’t even know how to begin to describe this Pokemon. It’s some sort of weird mish-mash of animals. Each limb is different, and there doesn’t seem to be any discernable pattern or reason… “Chaotic.”
“Why, thank you very much,” came a very familiar voice from the being. “It’s nice to know that somepoke knows how to appreciate a handsome draconequus when they see one!”
... Brian? Is… Is that Q? Am I dreaming? Please, for the love of God, tell me this isn’t a dream…
Well, if this is a dream, brah, I don’t wanna wake up.
It took a moment to realise that Crystal was jabbing me in the shoulder with her paw, not even looking at me as she also gaped at the strange creature. Still, the growing pain helped me find my voice. “Kuh… Q?”
The monster’s eyes flickered just just a tiny fraction of a second, giving us all the conformation we needed. “Holy shit it’s Q! Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohm-”
Crystal started to hyperventilate as she chanted to herself, and I wasn’t in a much better place myself. “OhmaigoshI’mtotallyyou’rebiggestfan! Yougottasignthisforme, please!”
A strange smile crossed his face as he said, in that always bemused tone of voice that was Q, “Sign what now?”
Crap! Brian, I have nothing for him to sign! Find something, quick!
Right there!
Thanks!
“Sign Crystal!”
Before I could even register what I just said, I had grabbed Crystal, holding her in my front legs as I pushed her towards Q.
“W-what?! Fluffy, you put me down right this frelling second! I am not some thing that can be-”
“Oh, how amusing. So tell me, Fluffy,” he said, using his talons and paw to make quotation marks. “Where am I supposed to sign her, exactly?”
“Yeah! Where do you think he’s going to-”
Brian, quick, gimme somewhere to sign!
Her chest!
“Her chest!”
... What the actual fuck, Brian?!
I was under pressure! You gave me no time!
“What?! Glenn, you put me down right this frelling second or I swear to God I will personally tear your-”
I hereby proclaim, being in a sound state of mind, and in the presence of these witnesses, give my word of honor that I did not drop Crystal on her butt on purpose to shut her up or to interrupt her.
Okay, so my arms were on freaking fire, and I couldn’t hold her any longer, and I just so happened to drop her in the middle of a rant. Give me the benefit of the doubt, alright? I’m honestly amazed I was able to hold her as long as I did without giving myself a heart attack!
“Her chest, you say?” Q said, grinning widely. “Oh my! Are you certain I should be signing it in public, though? It wouldn’t do to be arrested for public indecency, after all. Still, how could I deny an avid fan’s request? Let’s see n-”
“No! If you’re signing anyone’s chest, it’s Fluffy’s!” Crystal exclaimed, grabbing me before I could escape. “Better yet, sign his stupid butt!”
“H-hey! That’s not fair!” I yelled as she swung me about, tail-ward to Q. I tucked my tail even tighter to my body as I started ranting about the injustice of the situtation.
“That is not fair at all! You don’t even have a chest!”
”I what?!” Crystal’s eyes flamed in rage.
No, literally. I could see actual flames on the inside of her pupils. “Are you calling me flat?!”
Woah! Tread lightly, dude. Tread lightly…
“What?! No! I mean, yes, but no! I not, you, that… AUGH! For the love of God! You’re a friggin Pokemon! You don’t have a chest right now!”
Crystal and I stared at each other for several moments, each waiting for the other to act. Wisp, having been off to the side, apparently too overwhelmed from our reaction to Q, asked timidly, “B-but she does have a chest… It’s right there, isn’t it? W-with your lungs, and your heart, and… stuff?”
We glanced to the blue mare, who was pointing at her chest, which was perfectly smooth, aside from what looked like a small drool stain. Crystal blinked, then had the decency to blush a little as she set me down. I barely had a chance to sigh in relief before she decked me in the schnoz with a paw. “Pupule!”
“Ow! Hey, come on!” I tried to reason with her, rubbing my now-throbbing muzzle. “I was very specific with my wording! It’s not like I asked him to sign your boobs or anyth-”
Okay, lesson learned. Shutting the frell up now.
“Oh-ho, a tropical island girl, are we?” Q laughed, snapping his talons as a Hawaiian-style shirt appeared on his torso, and a lei around his neck. “I dare-say you two will be so much more fun to play with than those other two. You’d think they were born with a stick up their livers or something.”
As he started to walk away, I finally took the time to look around at my surroundings. After several seconds, I had only one thought.
Hey, Brian?
Yup?
I’m going to need you to get me a pair of sunglasses… The biggest friggin pair you can find, and I don’t even care how horrible they look.
Yeah. I’ll uh, get right on that…
5103578 I always have my eye out for pokemon fics. A lot of them are pretty cliche, it's nice to see a unique spin on it.
5103583 Thanks. I wrote this after seeing a different fic and going, "No. Pokemon CANNOT talk to ponies. That's just... no. NO! NO. I can do better! I can... Plucking dammit. Now I have to write it, don't I? ~_~ "
And that's how it got started. XD
5103664
That's how all good ideas start. I wrote a one shot about a talking timberwolf because someone made a hie fic about a 'monster in the everfree that is kind'
Now THAT'S COMEDY GOLD
Trev, everything from
is in italics. Even the A/N.
Well, Fluffy is one step closer to death. Everything is fine over here.
Yay, a new chapter – and a hilarious one at that!
5104553 I had also forgotten an ending italics elsewhere on top of that. Yay me...
Well, Fluffy may not have internet but I do!
Making me break out google for random unknown words, that's just sneaky... I like it!
THANK GOD YOU UPLOADED ANOTHER CHAPTER.
I HAVE BEEN READING OTHER FICS FOR AGES.
5107660 Yeah... Like I said, I'm trying to spend 30 minutes a day writing now. That way, even if I only write 100 words in that time, I should have a chapter every couple weeks or so. (Hopefully one a week or more, but I've made so many promises in the past that I'm not really willing to promise anything any more. )
Just for reference
? - Vaporeon/? became an hero
Crystal - Glaceon/f loves flareon hates Fluffy, living w/ Trixie and Big Mac OTP BFF4EVR
Fluffy - Flareon/m loves espeon hates flareon, living w/ Sweetie Belle
Kaye - Eevee/f just a kid, loves all pokémon, loves Fluffy, loves cookies, loves Luna, etc, living w/ Luna
Moonstone - Umbreon/m one of the surviving cultist ponies, a weird colored (not shiny) umbreon
Meis - Taillow/m afraid of heights, genuinely azn, living w/ Fluttershy
Cerulean - Totodile/m unapologetic dudebro living w/ Pinkie
? - Shinx/m unapologetic pothead, location unknown
? - Scyther/? probably an emofag who cuts himself, location unknown
? - Latias/f ridiculously horny, interprets every statement as innuendo, stole Shinx/Scyther and jetted (literally) to the Badlands
Dr. Ultimate Evil Finalboss - Helix Fossil/? location unknown
that about right?
AN UPDATE HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!
Whenever the idea of chest-signing comes to mind, I always think of that one Simpsons episode.
5109385 Vaporeon had hung itself. Vaporeon is dead.
Crystal: Wouldn't say 'hates' Fluffy at this point. They're starting to become friends, though they just irritate each other rather quickly due to differing personalities. (That, and because Fluffy's a moron, lol.) She is also living with Luna, Kaye, and Blueblood. (They're all staying in a large house that the crown is renting in Ponyville.)
Fluffy: Also loves Glaceon, though only second to Espeon, yes.
Kaye: Yup. Basically loves anything that isn't actively trying to hurt her or be 'meanie heads' to her.
Moonstone: Correctamundo, though really he's the ONLY cultist, since you had the cult leader, and then him. (At best, Moonstone isn't technically a cultist, since he didn't believe in the cult so much as what the cultist leader promised him if he helped. And he's albino, so that messed with his Umbreon coloring, yes.)
Meis: Yup yup.
Ceru: Yop. He's kind of tied with Kaye for being the 'bard' of the party, lol. Expect him to learn really weird moves for even weirder reasons.
Shinx name spoiler: Dude/Sage
Scyther: Mmmmmayyyyyybeh...
Latias: Not quite... tl;dr, she is GENUINELY bat-shit crazy/insane. It will manifest differently based on the scenario. She also grabbed the Metang.
Have to leave, so I'll finish replying if I forgot something, lol