Spike is exausted all the time from his mountainous workload. As Twilight finds Spike napping so often, she decided to search for another assistant to help her and Spike. When they find out their funds are too low to hire anyone and pay them a salary, Spike suggests letting them work for a different kind of payment, but they would have never guessed they would run into the poor pony that they did. No shipping, gore, or language.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Constructive critisism wanted!
So this is your first fic? Impressive, though there are a few formatting things you can work on. Add an extra line between paragraphs, huge blocks of text make the words seem to blur together. Also, you use CAPS LOCK excessively. Try just using an exclamation mark when someone yells or shouts. Other then that for this being your first fan fic on the site, I'm rather impressed. Spelling and grammar are decent, though I would suggest maybe getting a proof-reader. I'll give you a 5/5
Quite good, I can't really say much without sounding like 162323 , Just keep it up.
Thanks! I try to just use them when the characters are more screaming than yelling.
forgot to say this, but thanks to Vulpes/MrPony for help revise a part of it!
162943 oh, okay. I was just pointing out that it's used A LOT. It's fine though, your story is still awesome.
Thanks! Its my first so I'm seeking any tips from anypony to make it better!
I see someone was quite stingy with their ratings.
Oh well, Rainbow's okay with you now.
but sleep with one eye open, Rainbow's watching you
lol
Author's Hoof Notes:
1. I put sad and comedy because it varies. Sometimes it will be light hearted, but sometimes it will hit a sad point. I think its nice to have a healthy ration of the two.
2. ...............hmm I guess there's only one hoof note.............
Next chapter should be out tomorrow or the day after! Hang in there!
Author Hoof Notes:
1. I know the part with Rainbow and Cheerilee is a little random, but that scene popped into my mind so I decided to put it in the story.
2. Yeah, I always kinda leave a cliff hanger, but in any story, its to keep intrest up.
3. I know it took forever for me to write this chapter, but I write them from scratch as in I haven't written the whole story yet and I'm doing them 3,000+ words.
4. Feedback requested! Please give me any tips to make it better, constructive critisism, and/or just your opinion!
Thanks! ~Pegasister101/Rainbow Dashz
I give this a 5-star! Sorry it took me so long to get to this story, I was way behind, but I'm caught up now! It's good to see some modern conveniences in the library like a computer and a telephone. Very interesting! It's nice to see Twilight and Spike open her home to give her a job and meet some new friends! Great story! keep 'em coming!
Another great chapter! I like the name of the little young pony, Gray Spark! Can't wait to see what happens next!
Eeyup, Spike is doomed.
P.S. Spike x Spark? (SpikeSpark?)
193853
hmm now contemplating an interesting twist
195024
?
Don't you mean an interesting
197094