My Little Pony: The Brothers of Discord

by mr.myxsiple

Running Away

Hey guys, listen...

Lately, I'm being given a lot of school stuff to do, and I can't do all of it and write at my usual rate at the same time. I'm sad to say that I'm cutting my writing time and putting more effort into my school stuff. I'll still update, but it won't be once every week anymore. Things should go back to normal around the third week of December.

Sorry again. I hope this chapter makes up for it.

---

CHAPTER 38
RUNNING AWAY

"No...No. No. No. No!" Ash screamed clutching his head, backing away from his brother.

"Ash please..." Psych begged holding a bowl of uneaten food. "Ash, you haven't eaten a thing since the day of the fire. Look at yourself; you're wasting away!"

As if on cue, Ash's stomach grumbled loudly. The pegasus colt was not only bruised but also painfully thin. For days, he was visited by Psych who tried giving him something to eat, but he declined every offer of food. For days, Psych had been pleading and begging to eat, to take a bite, to get something into his empty stomach.

"S-Stop please..." Ash begged as Psych approached with a bowl of warm oatmeal. "Stop trying to be nice to me...I don't deserve your kindness..."

Heartbroken, Psych set the bowl aside. "Ash, don't say such things. You accepted me when everypony else did otherwise. You have no idea, how it feels to-"

"I didn't accept you because nopony else did." Ash said trembling. "I didn't do it because you felt hated...I accepted you, because you're all I did deserve, Grief, sorrow, pain, everything the world hates. I'm Cruelty incarnate; I'm practically evil itself. I don't deserve anything else."

"Ash..."

"Why can't you accept that? Why can't any of you accept that I'm evil? I-I'm going to hurt all of you without even thinking about it. I don't...don't care about any of you, and I can't...Why do you all keep treating me so nicely? Why do I have a home? Brothers? A loving dad? Why does somepony as despicable as me have something like that?!"

He covered his face and started crying. I'm evil. I'm vile. I'm horrible...I'm cruel. That's...who I am. His body shook with violent sobs as he slowly fell back. Before he could hit the bed, Psych hurriedly reached forward and caught the sobbing colt. He pulled Ash close and gently rubbed his back, a few tears of his own leaking out of his eyes.

"You may be evil, but you'll forever be my brother..." Ash said nothing in reply and instead kept on crying. "I'll always be there for you...always-"

His next words were hindered by a sudden bout of violent coughing. Psych pulled away from his brother keeping one hoof on his should and the other on his chest. The griffon attack had happened the previous night, and Psych was still recovering from the beating they gave him.

Luckily, he was no longer coughing up blood, but all the hacking had made his chest sore. The coughing lasted for more than a minute, and by the time it was over, Psych put a hoof on his head as the room spun around him. Swaying around a little, he shook his head and cleared up his dizziness despite his chest pain.

"Look at yourself." Ash told him. "You're hurt badly all because of me."

"And I'd gladly get injured a thousand times if it meant keeping you safe."

Ash shook his head, clutching it as more tears poured out. "If I had fought back, I would've hurt them...If I didn't fight, then you'd get hurt trying to protect me..."

He suddenly reached out and grabbed his brothers shoulders looking at him with a tear soaked face of anguish. "Don't you see?! No matter what I do, no matter what I chose, somepony will end up getting hurt! Everything I do, say and decide hurts everypony else!"

"That's what I am! A pony who does nothing but bring pain to others! A pony who can only hurt, kill and destroy! A pony the world should hate and reject! A pony that's evil incarnate! A pony that's Cruelty itself! Cruelty is all that I am! Nothing will ever change that! I'll always be cruel! No matter how much you all love me, I can never...I will never care or cherish or...or love you or anypony else!"

The room seem to spin again after hearing Ash outburst, maybe even more violently than before. For years, he had always known that Ash was incapable of loving anypony, that no matter how much he gave or did for him, no matter how much he showed him he cared...Ash would never feel the same. He had been living with that fact for several years and did so just fine.

But this was the first time he actually heard it coming from Ash's mouth.

Ash didn't get to see his brother's reaction as he had covered his face and started crying again. Once again, he fell back on his bed this time without Psych to catch him. He covered himself with his blanket, shivering under it as he muttered. "I'm evil. I'm vile. I'm horrible...I'm cruel. That's...who I am...I'm evil. I'm vile. I'm horrible...I'm cruel. That's...who I am...I'm evil. I'm vile. I'm horrible...I'm cruel. That's...who I am..."

So lost in his grief, Ash felt everything else just melt away, leaving him alone in a world of sorrow. He had no idea that Psych was staring at him trembling almost as badly. He had no idea he felt like his heart had just been gouged out and stomped on. He had no idea he had just been reminded how truly alone, rejected and unloved he was. He had no idea that he had bolted out of the room slamming the door as he did. He had no idea he dashed into his own room locking his door in the process.

He had no idea that Psych was on his bed, curled up under the covers, crying and trembling as badly as he was.

---

I'm evil. I'm vile. I'm horrible...I'm cruel. That's...who I am.

All he could see was the empty void before him.

I'm evil. I'm vile. I'm horrible...I'm cruel. That's...who I am.

All he could hear as his own thoughts repeating the mantra.

I'm evil. I'm vile. I'm horrible...I'm cruel. That's...who I am.

It was good that he was in the void. He was totally alone there; there were no evil things to do to, no ponies around to hurt, no lives to destroy. He almost felt happy...He shuddered trying to get such a thought out of his head; happiness wasn't something he deserved.

I'm evil. I'm vile. I'm horrible...I'm cruel. That's...who I am.

A flash of red light and a wave of heat coming from behind him caught his attention. Turning around, he saw a massive pillar of fire erupt from right in the middle of the void. It seemed to come from whatever "floor" was present and extended infinitely upwards; Ash could see no end.

Out of the flames stepped a massive pegasus stallion, his body, mane, wings and tail made of flames. The pillar behind him dissipated, but his powerful flames filled the otherwise black void with orange, red and yellow light. He gazed at the only other pony in the area, his expression showing absolutely no emotion.

"I'm evil. I'm vile. I'm horrible...I'm cruel. That's...who I am." Ash told the flame pony. "It's what you are too...You and I...are the same..."

The fire pony nodded still showing no emotion. "You and I are the same." he repeated. "We are evil incarnate, Cruelty itself."

Ash bowed his head unable to bear the sight of the other pony. "You and I...live to make other suffer...It's all we can do...It's all we can do..."

Once again, the fire pony nodded. "It's all we can do...It's all we can do..."

---

Hours after falling asleep, Ash woke up to searing pain in his stomach. He sat up on his bed and let out a loud groan as he felt his stomach burn. gingerly, he raised a bruised hoof but was surprised to find it trembling. Almost at one, the room began to spin in dizzying circles; Ash instead put his hoof on his head, his stomach still on fire.

Swaying around, he spotted the untouched bowl of oatmeal Psych left behind. It was already cold and stale, but it was still edible. The burning in his stomach intensified at the sight of it. Gingerly he reached out for the bowl thinking that it would be enough to give him some of his strength back. He grabbed the edge of the bowl and slowly pulled Psych's offer towards-

His offer...He gave this to me...He did it...because he saw me starving...He did it...because he was worried about me...He did it...because he cares about me...

No...No! No! NO!

Ash quickly shoved the bowl away causing it to fly off the bed and shatter against the floor spilling stale oatmeal all over it. His stomach still burning, Ash clutched his head and started trembling. Why won't he stop?! I'm Cruelty itself! I...I don't...don't deserve this...Not him...Not my family...

Uncovering his head, he looked around his room, his home, the place he had been living in since that fateful day all those years ago, the home given to his by Equinox, his loving father who loved him so much despite who he was. Ash knew deep down that he was undeserving of his father's love.

Unable to bear staying in his home, Ash grunted and rolled off his bed, his hooves trembling as they hit the floor. Nevertheless, he forced himself up despite the burning sensation spreading to the rest of his body and took a step forward. His hoof shook even more and threatened to collapse, but Ash, gritting his teeth, forced himself to stay up.

After a full minute, Ash braced himself and took another step forward and met the same problems as he did the first time. He took another step after a minute of resting and then another, this time after a slightly shorter period of rest. The resting between steps gradually shortened, but it still too him more than 20 minutes just to get to his door.

After opening it, he stuck his head out and peered into the hallway relieved to find that nopony was around to see him. The others, who weren't as badly injured during the previous night as he was, were most likely cleaning up the place after the griffon attack, and Psych...He had no idea of the pain the earth pony was in.

His body still burning with pain, Ash gently closed the door and made his way to the still shattered window on the right end of the corridor. He passed by Psych's room unaware of the broken Psych inside and reached the window without detection, but the trip alone left him panting and sweating. He grunted as his wings slowly unfolded and spread to their full length. Taking a deep breath, he launched himself out of the window.

His right hind leg struck the window frame, but he quickly regained control and flapped in place just a few feet from the window, but in doing so, he could feel his already diminished strength slowly deplete. Shaking his head, he flew around the castle relieved to find nopony on the ground either. With nopony watching, Ash flew away from the castle, flying over the tree tops as fast as he could.

I don't deserve to be there...Images of his family flashed through his mind...You're all good ponies...I can see how much you love each other...And how much you love me...But...I'm Cruelty itself...I can't feel love...All I can feel...Is hate...I don't deserve to be loved by wonderful ponies like you...

Unfortunately,his flight speed wasn't very fast at all. Every flap brought him further but also slightly lower to the ground. Within a few minutes, his hooves were already grazing the tree tops coating them with a layer of twigs and leaves. Ash, straining himself to stay above the tree tops, eventually feeling his wings fail to rise.

Immediately, he plummeted. Twigs and leaves raked and slapped his face as he fell through the dense tree tops. He didn't have the strength to shield his own face as nature battered him around like a rag doll. A stray branch bashed against his right shoulder just before he smacked into the forest floor tumbled and stopped.

All he could feel was the dirt beneath him, some grass poking at his stomach, a gentle blow of wind, the burning sensation that still covered his body, the bruises, new and old, screaming in agony and the cuts on his face bleed slightly. He didn't and couldn't possible rise from such an ordeal. The slow and steady rise and fall of his chest would eventually cease to be.

Have...Have to...get away...

He forced a shaking hoof up.

Get away...

He pressed it against the ground ignoring the pain that came with it...

Get away...

He did the same to his other hoof...

Leave them...

He forced his hind legs up.

Leave...

Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to take a step putting the desire to get away and no the desire to collapse at the front of his mind. He took another step knowing that it would take him further away from his family. He let out loud growls with every step trying to put the pain aside. Letting out the biggest growl of all, he galloped blindly away from the castle.

His whole body burned even as he did so, his legs aching with every stride. Keep going...Keep going...Keep going!

Ash finally reached his limit, and his legs gave in. He collapsed once again feeling everything he felt the first time he hit the forest floor. This time however, something felt different. There wasn't any grass poking at him. Instead, he felt the ground covered with something powdery. Then there was a strange pungent smell. It smelled like it was coming from something...

Something burned.

No...

He lifted his head, and suddenly wished he didn't.

NO!

Trees burned charcoal black. Ash and cinders covering the ground. Air smelling like smoke.

Flames everywhere. Smoke blocking everything from view. Heat making him sweat. Screams of terror piercing the air.

A yellow pegasus rushing towards him showing concern in those eyes of hers.

All of it was his doing...

No...No! No! No!

Ash forced himself up and galloped out of the clearing trying this time to block out the memories of that day, the day he almost killed six ponies who only wanted to talk. The day he almost killed her...

Once again, his legs gave in on him; his chin slammed into a small patch of grass as he fell for the third time. Dizzy from pain, he heaved his body upwards, but it just wouldn't leave the ground. As he smacked against it, the tress and grass around him began to spin. Darkness appeared at the edge of his vision as his breathing slowed down.

Ash struggled to get up, to keep getting as far away as he could to the castle, but his sore, aching body held him in place. Pretty soon, he lost all ability to move at all, and breathing just became too tiring to do. The world around him continued to spin in dizzying circles as the darkness spread across his vision. In just a few seconds, the darkness consumed him, and all feeling vanished.

---

Feelings however suddenly returned to him.

He could feel that he was face up and on top of something soft and warm as well as something equally as soft and warm on top of him. He could feel that something soft and fluffy like a pillow under his head. He could feel the pang of hunger coming from his empty stomach. He couldn't see still, but he realized that it was because he hadn't opened his eyes yet.

When he did, Ash studied his unfamiliar surroundings. The first thing he noticed was the bed he was on and the blanket draped over him. A jerk of his head confirmed that it was indeed a pillow under his head. His eyes swilled to the left, spotting a window through which sunlight shine through. The room itself was decorated with wooden trinkets like a few bird houses, some framed pictures sitting on a nearby table and a clock hanging from the ceiling directly in front of him.

His nose twitched as an unfamiliar smell reached him. His eyes traveled to his hooves lying on top of the blanket and noticed a thin layer of some dark green substance on his bruises. He brought his right foreleg to his face and gave it a sniff; it smelled like a mixture of herbs and leaves. Whatever it was, it took away the pain from the bruises.

Lowering his hoof, he strained himself to get up, but pain suddenly racked his body causing him to groan. He had only risen by about an inch before falling back on the bed. He knew that he was in no condition to get up, to move, to do anything at all. Just who had brought him to this strange place?

Upon hearing hurried hoofsteps, he turned to the door thinking that he would get an answer. In a matter of moments, the door swung open, and she stepped inside.

"Y...You..." he said tiredly.

Fluttershy backed up a little but regained her composure as she walked towards him. "A-Ash, it's good to see that you've finally woken up." she said in that same small, timid voice.

The colt put a hoof on his head and took several deep breaths. "Wh-where am I? What happened?"

'"I don't know myself really." Fluttershy answered pawing the floor. "I was just about to give Angel his bath, when he ran off into the forest. I followed him and found you on the ground looking all beat up. I brought you here to my room and put some herbal ointment on those bruises of yours. I was just waiting for you to wake up."

He picture her tucking him into her bed, fluffing his pillow and drawing a blanket over his unconscious body. He could imagine the worry she felt, the effort she put in to help him, the feeling of those gentle hooves caring for him. She did all that for me? Ash thought gazing into those cyan eyes that made him feel-No. He shook his head and the feeling away.

Fluttershy approached some more, stopping at his side. "You look so thin...Would you like something to eat? I-If you're hungry that is..."

"I-" Ash's replied was cut short by a groan coming from his mouth and his stomach.

"H-Hang on." Alarmed, Fluttershy dashed out of the room leaving him alone to twist around in pain, his eyes clenched tightly. He vaguely heard her galloped back in a minute later and felt something placed next to him. "Here. This should make you feel better."

Ash opened his eyes and saw a plastic tray at his side. On it were a glass of water, two slices of bread, a block of cheese and a bowl of warm oatmeal. The scent of the food overwhelmed him making his mouth water and his stomach growl angrily. He gazed at the meal longingly but then looked up at Fluttershy who was rubbing her foreleg nervously. "If you don't like it, I could get you something else. I think I might have some fruit somewhere around here...Or maybe you'd like something else..."

"All this...for me?" Fluttershy was surprised to see pain in his eyes, pain that didn't come from hunger. "Wh...Why?...I...I almost killed your friends...I almost killed you...I don't deserve this..."

He would've shouted that, but he lacked the strength to do so. He did however have the strength to push the tray away from himself earning another painful growl from his stomach. "I-If it makes you feel better, I forgive you for all that." Fluttershy told him pushing the tray back. "Ash, just look at yourself. You need to eat something."

Hearing the concern in her voice made him feel...happy, but he quickly shook his head trying to ignore the feeling and the hunger pains. Refusing to give up, Fluttershy picked up the bowl of oatmeal up and blew it to cool down, making sure its scent reached Ash. "OK. You don't have to eat everything if you don't want to, but one bite shouldn't hurt." She held up the bowl near him. "Please? Just take a small bite, and I'll be happy."

Ash froze at the sight of Fluttershy holding up a bowl of warm food, a gentle smile on his face. The sight, as well as the idea of making her happy, sent his mind into overdrive. Thoughts bounced around inside his head bring more pain that he already had. I don't make ponies happy! I make them suffer! I hurt, kill and destroy! I-

He gazed into those kind eyes of hers and felt all thought vanish.

I...I...I...

Fluttershy eeped as Ash suddenly sat up, yanked the bowl out of her grasp and jammed his face into it. He gulped up large amounts of oatmeal at a time without a care in the world, making loud slurping noises as his tongue scooped it into his mouth where it was swallowed immediately. The food tasted heavenly, but he wasn't sure if it was because he was hungry or if it was because of who gave it to him...

Less than half a minute later, the bowl was empty, but Ash ran his tongue along the sides of it desperate to get every last morsel of oatmeal. When he was finally done, he slammed the bowl on the tray revealing his oatmeal-covered muzzle. Still not satisfied, he took the bread and cheese one by one and crammed them into his mouth, chewing quickly before swallowing. After grabbing the glass and draining it in less than ten seconds, he slammed it against the tray and fell back against the bed.

"O...Oh my..." Was all Fluttershy could say in response to what she just witnessed.

Ash laid on her bed panting and trembling slightly after his little feast. The pain in his stomach had finally vanished though he still felt weak and tired. Desperate for more, he licked his lips hoping to get any remaining traces of food that may have been left behind. "H-Here, let me get that."

Before Ash could protest, Fluttershy had closed in on him with a napkin in her hoof. The second she touched his face, he froze slightly wide-eyed. His heart hammered as she gently rubbed across his muzzle wiping away the bits of food he wasn't able to reach. "There, all clean." she said once she was done. Despite her hoof retreating, Ash was still frozen, his heart still hammering.

S...So caring...A gentle warmth spread across his body. With a small grunt, he forced the thought, as well as the feelings he was experiencing, deep into the recesses of his mind. hoping that they would never return.

"Um...Ash? Hello?" Her voice snapped him out of his trance. "Are you feeling any better?"

"I...Y-Yes..." It angered him, how difficult the feelings were making it for him to speak.

"That's good to here." She pulled away from him. "You just stay here and get your strength back. I'll leave the door open, so you can call me if you need anything at all." He nodded a little stiffly. "You take care OK."

She left after giving him another caring smile. As soon as she left, Ash closed his eyes. The feelings came back more strongly than before-the warmth he felt when she smiled at him, the calm he felt knowing that she would take care of him, the peace he felt just knowing she was near-

NO!

He clutched his head and started panting trying to get the thoughts out. I can't...I can't...I can't feel these things...It's impossible...I'm Cruelty itself! I can't care! I can't feel kindness! I can't feel...feel...

But he couldn't bring himself to say the last word. He took all those things he felt and once again shoved them deep into his mind; such emotions were impossible for an incarnation of evil. Ash slowly uncovered his head, his breathing returning to normal and stared at the ceiling. Tiredness took over once again as he felt his eyes droop. Right before they could close completely, a single word involuntarily escaped his lips.

"...Fluttershy..."

Comments

[TimeLordVictorious]

And now you made me want to kill you.

Because of the delay in the updates!

Anyway...
Terrific job writing this. I love where it's going so far.

[dude2976]

What he said